Part Of Me

Virgo♍️,from Tokyo

[katii007]

Finally ..

Tomorrow I'm going back home..to Yokohama. I had really good time staying Kobe for 2month. Today we went to airport and say good bye to Shawn .. Shawn knows my feeling . I think he was reading my letter in car.. he said keep in touch but when he was super drunk he was saying " you have to be happy ok ? I'm gonna gone soon and I'm finished . I'm just temporary guy." I dunno what the means.. I think he meant to say that I know your feeling. It I dunno what to do..Nelson was saying " he was asking me what she said ?? I wanna know her more but I dunno what to do. But girl you have to tell him and talk to him ! He said also I can feel the vibe " Hmm Nelson was drunk too so I dunno what he meant .. After that he was missing . He went somewhere and we dunno where he went. I was worried about him so I was waiting outside of studio. And I was praying that " pls bring Shawn back here and I want to spend more time with him! "Then after 5min later he shows up !!i was like wtf! But he was too drunk and he was so aggressive .. I didn't like that. He try to touch me in public and say nasty thing too.. but yesterday .. he was nice.. because I think he was high.. today was the last day spend time with him .. it was so hard to say " good bye " to him. He gave me a present too .. I miss him already and so sad. I wanna see him again soon ... I don't wanna end like this..

[katii007]

Found him

It was just out of blue.. I wasn't expecting anything and I was so happy that I am. And things start happen. He was there but I didn't realize .. He is the one I was looking for . I remember first time I saw him I felt electric and saw light behind him . We didn't talk much that time and I even think he is douche lol but he isn't .. He's very kind , caring , sensitive and neat person. He so far away from womanizer type .even though there's girls there he always sit next me. He is funny too . He listen my stuff and give me his advice. He's funny and always makes me smile. Unfortunately he's going back to Vancouver soon and I'm going back to Yokohama ..I know this is just fun thing and not gonna last longer.. but I really do like him. I want to know more about him and I wanna be with him. He said that he felt connection between us . I felt that too. I know that he just like me as a friend or person but I don't care. I like him so much.i don't know if this is legit or not but I do like him. Wanna spent more time with him.

[katii007]

Went to Kobe luminaries the other day . It was raining but beautiful. It was every year thing and Tokyo use to have it too in yuraku-cho area . But they stopped 2006? It was a bit different to Tokyo one but still beautiful.

[katii007]

#naganotrip2011 #horseriding (Azumino-shi, Nagano, Japan)

[katii007]

#gokartracing #backintheday #friends #missyouguyssomuch #naganotrip (Azumino-shi, Nagano, Japan)

[katii007]

#kobeluminarie2016 (Kobe Luminarie)

[katii007]

Literally I'm having that .ugh!

[laspartesdesconocidas]

Eventually you’ll end up where you need to be, with who you’re meant to be with, and doing what you should be doing.

Unknown (via ebullient-giraffe)

[abundancefocus-blog]

Something to Think About

There are so many things that can be taken for granted, and many of us overlook them everyday. Sometimes we have to go through certain experiences to really recognize all that we have to be grateful for.

The blessings are endless. Sight, smell, sound, touch, and taste, are all things to be grateful for.

If you desire certain material things, it’s helpful to be grateful for all that you already have now. The quality of your life is largely determined by your attitude. It’s the vibes that are very important.

Family and friends, compassion and love, challenges and growth, these are all things to be grateful for.

Life, being able to breathe properly and move around, these are all major blessings that shouldn’t be overlooked.

If you want to attract money, or something else material, first start in those grateful vibes for all the blessings that you do have.

When you want those things from a feeling of lack you put roadblocks in your own way. And sometimes the journey you take on the way to those things helps you gain greater clarity.

Just something to think about today. I wish you all great peace, joy, and love.

[katii007]

Hope

I had really great time on my weekend. Made friends and been busy. But my anxiety coming again.. Last night I got really emotional and I cried in front of him.i don't know if he notice that I was crying or not because it was in dark but I felt so stupid that I cried. I was acting so weird I should've done it. But I can't change what I did and say so I hope he doesn't think I'm crazy. Finally tomorrow I start working at bar. A bit nervous .. but I'll do my best. Hope I can find a proper job too. Otherwise I have to go back home. I really like living in Kobe. My friend H told me that I'm so much happier than I was in Tokyo. I think so too. I feel much optimistic. I hope I can keep this positive feeling. Hope everything gonna be ok in the end.

[katii007]

Welcome to the world

My sister gave a birth today my nephew “Hayato” He is so tiny ! I’m so happy ! She married to Swedish guy and lives in Sweden and My parents are leaving to Sweden tomorrow but I can’t visit them now cuz I’m leaving Tokyo to Kobe day after tomorrow. But I will soon!! My sister gave a birth 1.5h after her water broke. So quick lol Also today is kinda strange day too. Was on a way to see my friend and on train. I saw my ex bf when I was a high school student. I saw him before I’m moving to hk too. Is this some kind of sign ? I haven’t talk to him over a decade. He is 5years older than me. He looks very old now lol I don’t know if he’s married or not but he was with woman on the train I think so I didn’t say hi. But the woman looked very old and she isn’t his mother so I wonder who she is.. I’m kinda nervous .. I have to pack my stuff but I haven’t done anything yet! I need to send my stuff to Kobe tomorrow ! Ugh hate packing. But today I had great day with my friend and also heard the happy news from my sister!

[katii007]

Meeting new ppl

I've been busy meeting my friends recently cuz i moving to Kobe soon. Met my Aussie friend , friend from hk, and Germany ! It was fun ! Especially the 2germans and my former colleague ! Talking English , Japanese and Germans mix ! Although we talk too much so I kinda lost my voice lol I hope I can meet ppl like that in Kobe too . I know that I def gonna miss Tokyo life but I think I need small city life now. I don't know what is gonna happen but I will try my best .

[katii007]

WTF

I'd rather be like that than be like you. im not mental , insane or douche. im just a little sensitive than others. so dont you dare call me "mental" I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there too much but at least that means I still care. Dont patronize me ? oh fuck off twat. thats my fucking line. We had 6years history.was it nothing to you ? I still on progress to recover from all the shit. I know you sounded like you already over me but I obviously not. And because of I can't over you like you did so quick , you think I'm obsessed with you or mental ? I'm just can't do the same like you . Everyone is different.

[katii007]

[katii007]

Came back into my life

I had a best friend called Yuki. We were like sisters and we always hangout weekdays, weekend whenever. But I moved to hongkong and I came back to Japan in 2013 but I didn’t contact her cuz she engaged and I thought we were not like we used to be. But in 2013 I found out my cancer and I did surgery in feb 2014. Also I found out that she got married in feb too . I thought I need to contact her. She is not really using fb but that’s the only way that I can reach her. I found her on fb so I sent her msg. But nothing from her. But 2days ago .. I got msg from her. She said “I really didn’t know that you sent me msg in 2014 and I am so sorry ! You were already in my wedding list but I realized that I can’t reach you that time. I don’t know where you are and I don’t know your phone number and anything ! I thought you didn’t want to contact me. But I always thinking about you. I’m so happy that I can reach you now. Love you ” I surprised but we met next day. We had really good time. She is lovely mummy of 6month old boy. She showed me her wedding pictures . I thought I was supposed to be in these pictures.. I cried. I told her that I’m sorry. She always said “ we should go on holiday together when our kids gets older ” . Well she said that same exact words to me. I said “ definitely ” I’m so happy to have her in my life again. We haven’t changed at all. That was all in my head that we’ve changed. She is one of my legit best friends. She also said to me , “if the person is fate for you, they never leave you or they come back to you . So go ahead tell the person you love that you love them and the person leave you then it’s just what it is” I really think so and hit me hard. I’m so ready for everything. She came back to me literally before I’m moving to Kobe. This has meaning.

[katii007]

Try again

So I kinda got job in Kobe today. It's a temporary thing . But better than nothing . And this time I will stay there for a month. And mean while I will try to have a lot interviews as much as I can and get own apartment. I need it. I feel like I need to be there again. And this time I have to do one more thing. The hardest thing .. telling my true feeling. I can't deny , I can't hide , I can't fake it anymore. I heard that my ex is seeing a bird recently from him. It was shocking but I kinda expected. I can't stop him. Although I feel like he is always by my side and I didn't expect that he found a bird so quickly. I still love him Josh. I think I can't find man like you forever. You are the best person I ever met in my life. He told me "you should tell him your true feeling. I know this is not what you want. Tell him and after if he is no longer with you then that's his real personality and feeling for you. You have to know." So yeah I will do. I have to get out of this shit cycle.

[katii007]

Here I am

Well, today is the day .I'm going back to Tokyo. Staying Kobe was good . Overall. But I found that it is difficult to find a job in KOBE that what I want. Salary wise it's too low for me. I know it's not about money but I don't think I can survive and I don't wanna have tight life. Although I Had a good time. A bit lonely cuz I don't have friend here like I do in Tokyo. And maybe a bit different to Tokyo too. Ppl, culture etc.a lil bit homesick? I don't know what is gonna happen next. I feel like the other problem I had is actually telling me to stop living in here at the moment. Maybe I expect too much ? Or is this kind of boundary thing for me ? Everything happens for a reason. So this happen must have reason but I don't know right now. I think I will find out soon or later. My friend offered me to stay and work in Okinawa for a month from November. I'm thinking to go. But I'm not sure if this is good idea. Need to think about more clearly . Otherwise I will regret.and I do not want to waste of my time for something not good for me anymore. SERIOUSLY NO MORE! Choose thing wisely that's what I need it now. Stop playing anymore and got influence by someone bad for me.