Last oc tober for 2025
Today's Document

Discoholic 🪩
No title available

Andulka

Janaina Medeiros
cherry valley forever
Three Goblin Art
taylor price
Peter Solarz
Cosimo Galluzzi

roma★

if i look back, i am lost
tumblr dot com

★
AnasAbdin
No title available

No title available

No title available
sheepfilms
will byers stan first human second
seen from Sweden

seen from Türkiye

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Italy
seen from Trinidad & Tobago
seen from Switzerland

seen from Italy
seen from United States

seen from Australia
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Taiwan
seen from Israel

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Sweden
seen from United States
@mmediocreman
Last oc tober for 2025
some late OC_tober from last year that got stopped dead at its tracks bc im swamped w work now...
redrew old OC stuff
the next time ill paint again is like at least in 3 months lol
drawing anxiety, and venting
i am very new to animation and being completly self taught i am trying to not be too hard on myself. but there is a constant anxiety of whether what i have now is good enough. i have and am working on layout gigs but i still cant call myself an animator bc i feel like im still such a novice. im also very aware how lucky i am to have made a living out of drawing, and not just that but to also work in amazing productions with amazing people. its just, drawing is literally the only specialized skill i know, i have invested into this ever since i can hold a pencil, i never had a "2nd choice" or "other dream jobs" so the thought of 'failing' or being not good enough at the only thing you put so much of your time and effort into, your whole life, is a tad scary to be honest. i give my everything into every task given, i take feedbacks very well and try to learn everything i can from it. i do not doubt my working ethics, as i feel like i respect everyone's effort, time and i communicate well but i still need to draw good enough, yknow? like my drawing still needs to hit a certain level. i never hate drawing, and as much as i know how much i need to improve i never hate my drawing either, but i do feel anxious about skill wise where im at often (and im saying this as someone who learns, draws, and practice everyday, almost every waking hour of my day)
figuring out what abt vocaloid that bothered me
Like most anime-manga enthusiast around my age, i first found out about vocaloid and started listening to their songs mid to late 2000s. i understand they practically posses no canon trait or personality as the character concept was made to be a blank slate for the songs to be projected unto.
But, as much as i love the songs i grew to dislike a lot of things associated with especially miku. and thats how it was for years until i started playing project sekai last year. ive always liked the songs and ive always liked rhythm games, so i got hooked on the game pretty quick and easily.
after like... 1 month of playing i started checking out the non rhythm part of it, so the stories, the gacha. and thats when i realized, i dont hate miku. at least i dont hate her default design and her canon personality (as canon as it could be) and its because theres a lot of songs that uses her visual or character to depict something that i think you shouldnt put on a teen girl character.
even when i was a teen myself it had already botehred me, i just didnt have the capacity to analyze what it is that actually made me feel uncomfortable.
before anyone says "she doesnt have an age shes a voice bank!" you cannot strip away an image of how the public would objectively see an react as just because it has "a secret twist". there are vocaloid songs who dont use the voice bank characters to tell the story, so... seeing a character that looks like a teen and sounds like one too be saying or doing something... too sexual or violent had always bothered me alot...
not sure if anyone feels this way but i know for a lot of ppl who discovered miku/vocaloid during their teen years it has become their comfort character
recent comms thank you!
im still accepting some slots :) https://t.co/zlbfi0mggV
i always thought abt what my azem's final words to emet would be on the final days
the image i have and i cant shake off is that he will leave with a smile and as always does things as he please, which... actually piss me off. also to me, my azem will always have hades and hyth in a special place in his heart, and he knows not even a differing of lifetime goal will ever change that
i need someone to talk abt grave of the fireflies with
I first saw grave of the fireflies when i was in middle school. i was much more apathetic that time than now but i can still remember not being able to hold back the tears and be left with this horrible sadness for days after watching. I thought to myself i dont want to see this movie again, but there was a showing in my local theatre, which barely happens so off i go.
its interesting that when i look up interviews with takahata regarding this, he said a lot of people told him they dont want to see the movie for a second time, but he thinks itll be great if you could, you should. and to my horror my second viewing was much much worse, i was practically crying the whole movie, even on the 'happy' moments.
the real seita grave of the fireflies was adapted from a book of the same name by nosaka akiyuki into a semi-autobiographical book. nosaka had been raised by his aunt and lost both his aunt and adoptive father in the firebombing of 1945 in kobe. his sister, aiko received horrible burns and had to be hospitalized, leaving 14 y.o nosaka and his adoptive sister keiko who was only 16 month old. keiko died due to malnutrition, and nosaka felt partly to blame for eating her portion of food instead of taking care of her. the book was essentially an apology letter to keiko.
ive yet to read the book, nor will i i think, but from excerpt you can see moments that nosaka experienced that was put into the book. what he did, what he went trough was what seita did and went trough as well.
seita's flaw
"criticism towards seita's character would not have surprised me, and i even hoped to hear it. but i didnt get this kind of feedback"
-takahata isao
takahata was intrigued by the way the main character; seita, acted. as he believes it closely resembles modern day kids rather than kids of his generation that had to endure war. seita is spoiled, naive, didnt think realistically and ahead. his greatest sin, was that he was a kid in war who had just lost his mum, not sure why his dad in the army havent replied yet and living with an aunt who couldnt care less about them. and just wants to keep his sister happy, and that is the tragedy of this movie for me the aunt
as a child i was judged unfairly, and so as an adult i feel the responsibility of educating kids rather than judging them. explaining things to them instead of passive aggressively attacking them. no matter how annoying, or stupid, or naive they are, theyre still just kids. if even adults has a hard time of sustaining themselves in tough times, reading between the lines, can you imagine how hard it must be for the kids?
takahata also mentioned how he feels modern-day japanese citizens had started being more lone-wolf and the connection and ties to help each other had diminished more and more. this is purely conjecture on my part but i wonder if how the aunt acted would also fall into that category.
she was only nice to the seita and setsuko when seita brought back food and amenities that he had buried before his house burned down
instead of helping him find work or taking the time to explain to him why he needs to work (i.e to secure food for his sister) she just scolded them and got offended from what a 4.yo had said
from my understanding, seita and setsuko's father is her brother. she doesnt seem bothered one bit that theres a chance her own brother could have died
the family card
as an asian, i feel like when its convenient people will use the "but we're family" card. often to get a family member to share their debt or other burden, or to guilt someone into not holding a grudge after being abused/treated badly by a family member. but when its time to actually make sacrifices for another family member, suddenly its selfish. although not a 1 to 1, i sort of see this double standard executed by the aunt as well. grave of the fireflies is a double suicide story
there was an interview with nosaka and takahata where they referred to the story as such. taking into account how nosaka wrote the book as an apology for his sister's death, feeling guilty for surviving, and feeling partly responsible for taking her share of the food. i wonder if "dying after her and reuniting with haste" was an alternate he thought about often. i dont know how well or bad nosaka took care of his sister, but for all the wrong actions seita took it was out of love for setsuko. he just wants to give her happy moments and to stick together. in a way, them barring themselves from reality and the outside world was a way to survive. and can you blame them? to me, seita was also waiting for word from his dad, because he felt that as long as he can hold out until his dad came then everything will be alright. but then he had to found out the hard way that his dad had also died in war along with japan losing. that was not the case for nosaka, after being thrown into a cell for delinquents and orphans after being caught stealing, it was his dad that ended up fetching him. he said that he proceeded to 'forget' all about his traumas following the bombing. seita was nosaka's worst ending scenario, and its like in an attempt to beg for forgiveness he puts a part of himself in it.
-
few works had influenced me like this, and i think itll be another decade or two before another rewatch for me, but for now i need to let this out of my system, so pls talk to me about this... lol
🙏Reblogs greatly appreciated!
im accepting BW scene commissions such as these.
220USD for 2 characters and +45usd for every extra
you can fill in the form below if interested
FOR BUSTS: Each Bust is 85USD FOR FULL BODIES (set of 4 poses): 210USD single character 370USD couple characters FOR BW COMIC STYLE Full b
ty!
"I wish only to hear your words, share your feelings, and know your thoughts"
Meteion joins the Untamed 3 Triple Triad collection!
illus by @mmediocreman
Add Meteion to your collection ||HERE||
"Oh, I have awaited you patiently all this time, Past every fate"
lazarus thoughts
just finished watanabe's lazarus and i have a lot of thoughts especially comparing it to bebop and champloo.
axel mugen and spike Idk if its obvious enough that i... really dont like spike. (as a person not as a character) mainly how he has very little regard for everyone else, even people who have done so much for him and just does whatever he wants (sadly that recipient tends to be jet), on the other hand i love mugen, its just fun watching him and he's voiced by kazuya nakai so thats a plus for me. at first, axel gives off spike vibes A LOT like the outfit, hair the way he fights etc. but unlike emotionally constipated spike, i like that axel can show that he does care for people and he wants to care again even after shutting himself away in order to not hurt himself again. i especially love the bond he ended up having with leland, sort of like... a brotherly figure imo.
the romance all three have tragic romance plots but, the one im most 'iffy' about is spike and julia. as a disclaimer i am more cynical than most in viewing romantic relationships, and i wonder if spike and julia truly love each other or was it just, strong emotions being mistaken as another. at least in the ending of bebop i feel like they dont harbor the same passion for each other they once did (if they ever did) but i always feel like even if julia loved spike its not enough for her to take risks for. and theres something abt the way spike long for julia, like... its more abt the memory, the idea than the person herself. so i was thrilled to see that they did a better version of this with chris and inga. granted theres less time gaps for them than julia and spike, but the anger inga felt really shows just how much the betrayal hurt her and it all just felt really genuine, chris also looks like she have never let go of inga. i think what felt vague and hazy with julia and spike, is very solid and clear with inga and chris. aaaaaaaaaaaaand then they decided to make chris kiss axel 😬😬😬 LIKE WHY, THEY WERE DOING SO WELL AND THIS JUST FEELS SHOEHORNED IN AND makes it seem like chris forgets abt inga that quick. the gap between each episode is only several days apart, its like she just forgets abt inga after shes out of sight 💀💀 it also doesnt have any bearing on the ending or their relationship for the rest of the show so for my sanity i will be erasing that moment from the canon in my mind lol
staying together this was one of the most surprising ending, considering how bebop and champloo ended with the group parting ways. in bebop, i always feel like... the show really makes you feel lonely even in a crowd, even with someone who loved and loves you, its like everyone suffers on their own and they treat each other badly for it. for champloo i feel like they were fated to stay together, and no matter how many time they tried (like jin almost leaving the group for a girl) they will always end up back together (also the fact that they have went separate ways several times only to be back together again) and this string of fate being together will only break after they achieve the goal they got together in the first place (which was finding fuu's dad) in lazarus, slowly and in the end very outright and clearly the group decided they want to be here, they chose to be here (this time around) and they like their new company. this feels very different vibe wise and arguably the most happy ending out of the three. i personally like that they slowly started showing emotions of approval of being there. idk if this was meant so they can make a season 2? which im not against
might write more in the future but this is the main opinions i have for now
2005年ズ
someone is suspecting me of using AI...
for an illust i did for a big company... (ofc the company saw my whole process and knows i use 0 AI) but i guess no one is truly free from being falsely accused of using AI. ive only seen vids and tweets abt how the hunt for gen AI stuff has gone too far that its hurting real artists, and its just this 1 person versus 3 others who came to my defence (and im v thankful for that) but its like, damn i didnt dedicate all of my waking hours to drawing just for you to falsely accuse me just bc you cant differentiate between human made drawings and a gen AI 🤷
Edit: after enough ppl patiently explained to him he doubles down on "i think the artwork is just lacking thats why it looks like AI" usually i dont mind ppl's whatever opinion on my stuff, but girlie we have established you got 0 art sense you cant even differentiate real human made art and gen AI. This is so obviously doubling down to save your own sorry ass
✨ Only 2 Days To Go! ✨
Untamed Vol 3 is almost here! A ffxiv zine with 69 creators and 180+ pages of illustrations, comics, lore and merch all about creatures 🐥
🗓️ Pre-orders open Sept 9th @ 12PM PST
✨ Previews by: yawningyawns @destiny-islanders @mmediocreman
RAMBLING THOUGHTS ON GETO
I finally saw the hidden inventory arc jjk movie and after 2 yr break from anything jjk im like reprocessing some old info as if it were new.
I wonder if geto had always been actively trying to fight his hatred for the ppl who made made him swallow vomit (as he put it from the get go.) Bc those are the same person he believes he has to protect. He believes this is the duty he actively chooses.
Like getting abused by someone youre sacrificing shit for and has to protect.
The baseline of what i wonder is
How much of his believes of his duty to protect the weak was actually just a way to manage his anger and hatred. Like convincing oneself.