Just Here To Laugh @katymichellexx - Tumblr Blog

retail gothic

• you started your shift at three p.m. today. now your back aches, your feet hurt, your cheeks are strained from smiling so much. you’ve been working for hours. you look at the clock. the time is half past three. surely the clock must be broken. all of the clocks are broken.

• no matter how many customers you serve, the checkout line never clears. every time the last one in line steps forward, ten new customers spawn out of thin air. they come in packs, never alone.

• the total is 0.99 cents. the customer pays with a 500-euro-bill. at four in the morning, your door rings. the customer is back. they say they have the change now.

• a customer wants to return an item. you ask if they still have the receipt. they do not. you ask if they left the price tag on the item. they did not. you ask to see the item. they did not bring the item. they just want their money back. you say you can’t return the item like this. they ask to speak to a manager. the manager makes you return the money. the customer is always right, they say.

• you tidy up the sales table. when you pass by it five minutes later, all of the packages have been ripped open, a bottle of sticky lotion has leaked all over the other items, and there’s a random frying pan from the other end of the store. there are no customers in sight.

• you tidy the shoe section. sometimes there are two left shoes. sometimes there are two right shoes. sometimes the shoes are different sizes or colors. rarely do they match. the customers ask you to check for missing shoes in the back. the back is a four square meter broom closet. as you stand there in absolute darkness pretending to look, you wonder where all the shoes go.

• thanks to your retail job, you’ve somehow struggled your way through college. you can’t seem to find a job, but there’s a full time opening at your store. congrats, you’re a manager now.

katymichellexx

The last one though

Ready for Christmas 🎄 https://www.instagram.com/p/CmVNWffu-pt/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

sirfrogsworth

PRO LIFE!

Remember, if an 11 year old gets pregnant you must force her to carry that fetus to term, but if you have an enemy, God is okay with you dashing their infant against some rocks.

thefrogman

I honestly cannot believe I got a conservative Christian to admit he would kill babies rather than agree the Bible is maybe a bit outdated and inconsistent.

allthingseurope

Royal Library, Copenhagen (by Jeff Keenan)

allthingseurope

Colmar, France (by Erkan)

becausebirds

Australian Magpie

runby2

Me: that’s a cool name for a bike

Me after finishing the video: oh

badjokesbyjeff

A dirty joke from the 1400s...

In Florence, a young woman, somewhat of a simpleton, was on the point of delivering a baby. She had long been enduring acute pain, and the midwife, candle in hand, inspected her secret area, in order to ascertain if the child was coming. “Look also on the other side,” said the poor creature, “my husband has sometimes taken that road.”

From “The Facetiae Or Jocose Tales of Poggio”, a joke book published in the 1400’s by Poggio Bracciolini.