don't make me dance all night alone

formerly known as "felinesandmrfallon". i'm a nerd who likes robots, food, and music. and then some other things.

[kawaiigundamprincess]

I don't know how long I will lament the life I never had the courage to live.

Most of the bad things that have happened to me I have overcome. Loss, death, tragedy. I have understood, I have learned, I have grown. Time passes, these things hurt less.

On the other hand, the pain that comes from hiding, lying to myself and others, suppressing how I feel and who I want to be, the disconnect between what my life is and how I wish I could live, the experiences I hoped I would have had by now - this grows with time. Authenticity has a price that I am not comfortable paying. Some people have the freedom, some people are brave, some people are supported. Some people are like me, with none of those things. And yet, some of them still live their truths and be who they are meant to be, even if they lack the freedom, strength, courage, and support of others.

I am not one of them. This grief may follow me for life.

[kawaiigundamprincess]

I've made a lot of wrong decisions since I was active on this site. As depressed as I was back then I wish I could go back to just thinking about gundams and music.

[kawaiigundamprincess]

shouting into the void

[kawaiigundamprincess]

Man hearing that Trevor Strnad killed himself broke me down. The Black Dahlia Murder was my best friend's favorite band. He killed himself nine years ago. They're one of the only metal bands I still like and regularly listen to, and even after 9 albums their music still slayed.

When I got the news, all the feelings from that night nine years ago flooded back into me. I've been quietly living with the secret guilt of not having been a better friend since then. I cried for two hours straight. I haven't cried that hard since I got the news of my friend's passing. Maybe I cried even harder.

Rest in peace Trevor and Mike.

Take care of yourselves. Tell your friends you love them.

[kawaiigundamprincess]

ｏｏｆ

I quit using tumblr because it was depressing. I was trying to get better and there was no space in my life for a feed of things that just made me sad and angry all the time.

In the year that I've been gone I healed a lot mentally, graduated college, and found the person I'm going to marry.

I do miss tumblr, though. It was my only way of interacting with certain people.

Maybe I'll come back. Maybe I'll delete and start again.

I've been on this site since like, 2011? Thank you to everyone who made those years enjoyable.

[messagestosenpai]

hey, i love you. ね、すきだよ。

[messagestosenpai]

our love is a secret. 私達の恋は秘密です。

[luckyboyatnight]

[radracer]

Mercedes-Benz SL 500 R129

@matthewgaumont

[bikesandcars]

Mercedes SL

[nerddecarro]

Mercedes-Benz 300 CE 6.0 AMG (C124) “The Hammer” 1992

[crazyforcars]

Never get tired of the c126 profile, especially with all side windows lowered.

[airkool]

Still one of the most beautiful cars ever made (in my opinion)

[kawaiigundamprincess]

I'm legit sad about Chris Cornell dying. It was like early high school that I first heard Audioslave and like... That was really my first step back into good old fashioned rock music. The shift in my musical taste that occurred as a result of their first two albums is incredibly significant, even if it wasn't immediately noticeable. Audioslave as a whole was pretty influential on my taste but Chris Cornell as a singer has always amazed me. My "Singing While Driving Playlist" has tons of Audioslave on it because singing those songs is a blast. The melodies, the changes in tone and timbre, the vocal acrobatics that it sometimes takes to sing along... It's all great fun. And what a writer he was. I may not have the street cred of being an old school Soundgarden fan but like. Audioslave and Chris Cornell's solo work had definitely had heavy rotation in certain parts of my life. I still listen to Out of Exile on a regular basis. I'm sad but I'm also angry. I'm angry because I'm reaching that age where my heroes start dying. Celebrity deaths in the past just never really mattered to me because they were all from before my time. But it seems like now I have to expect this to become a regular thing. I'm afraid to watch my heroes die. It's something that I've feared for so long. But it's happening.

[erarg]

sneeze on your knuckles before a fight in order to inflict poison damage

[nonbinarysapphic]

reblog if ur lgbt and have a bad eyesight

trying to prove a point to my oculist

[nonbinarysapphic]

i love how fast this is getting notes.. we’re all bonding over not being able to see shit

[c0nsequencess]

i guess you could say we’re bonding over the fact that we can’t see straight

[browningtons-deactivated2018041]