I’ve been liking content and trying to interact with other authors out there but since this is a side blog, it’s been doing that with my main account name @followthesirencall
All this time I felt a little isolated but I realize maybe the others think I’m being a bitch and not interested in their content 😭
Plus it’s really confusing in the end even for me…
I’m thinking of either making this account my main (but honestly it seems like a gruesome process)
Or maybe changing my PP and name to match my main ? Don’t know 😩
If someone can help me !!! I’m calling for help on this one 🥺🥺 pleeeease
I’m sorry for those who were waiting for the next part of Best Things Come In Threes 😭😭 It’s coming I promise
October is finally done ! And I’m working on edits for November
I was stressing out because no matter what I did wasn’t satisfied with October it was missing something and I had terrible blank page syndrome
That brain was EMPTY empty 💀
And now I’m chilling all the way in Marrakech for a week so hopefully I get a few calm days in between the restaurant marathon and excursions to post during my vacation !
See I’m even thinking of y’all during my break y’all 🥹 I might miss you a little (a lot)
Anyway since I’m done with a part already I’ll add a little preview for my girlies under the cut to keep you company while I get my shit together
Don’t hesitate to share in the comments what you think this little snippet is about 😏 I’d like to know your thoughts you know I like to discuss with you !
ENJOOOY 💞💞💞💞
P.S : I guess everyone has seen Lee Myeongro as Allen in bloodhounds by now ?! I was so excited ! Guess it helped with my blank page issue
I watched ALL THE EDITS out there and… yeah
Anyway let’s say inspiration came back 😂
A/n : October and November is honestly ANGST CENTRAL so I know my angst girlies will be thrilled but for those who don’t like angst just be patient for the full
Just needed a bit of tension right before the end though 😉
Another droplet. The chills wracked through you again. 3:57 A.M.
You stood, turned off the lights, and headed straight to bed. You lay sideways on your bed, trying to swallow around the knot in your throat. Loneliness slowly enveloped you, pulling you under.
The idea came in a flash. You turned towards the only person you knew would make it better, if only a tiny bit. Pulling up your phone, you texted your sister.
You : You were right.
You wished she was there next to you as you set the phone down. You’d just wait for her to wake up. Not like it was your first all-nighter lately anyway.
The phone buzzed, startling you. You snatched it up.
Brat : I know.
You chuckled at her answer, a tear escaping.
You : You don’t even know what I’m talking about.
Your phone rang and you picked up
Don’t need to know what you’re talking about. I’m always right. What am I right about here, though ? Wait don’t tell me. Is this about Mr. Boyfriend ? Is he a weirdo or something ? We need to slash his tires. Oh wait ! Is this about teddy bear guy ? It is about him, isn’t it ? I KNEW IT !
Wow. Twenty seconds. She went from smug to angry to mischievous. The whiplash alone might’ve made you laugh if you weren’t on the verge of tears.
You swallowed again, trying to rein in the tears. It was no use. The dam broke.
I ruined everything ! He won’t even look at me now…
Your sister tried to soothe, voice shaky.
Oh no. Hey, calm down, please… You know I can’t stand it when you cry. What’s going on exactly ? Tell me everything and we’ll figure it out.
And so you poured your heart out to her.
The sun was already peeking through the horizon when you hung up, exhausted. Sleep finally pulled you under, the call leaving you hollow.
i was thinking this morning about how i categorize fanfic authors that i enjoy like AKC breeds and decided to share my rubric with you:
the specialist: this author has a favorite kink or trope and has written 80% of the content in that tag. you know exactly what you’re getting. they have A Brand™️. no matter what other traits they display, dedicated rare pair authors belong here.
the chocolate box: essentially the exact opposite. this author will try anything once. they have 80+ works in the fandom with no discernible pattern. the shortest one is 268 words and the longest is well over 100k. this breed of author may or may not be related to:
the renaissance fan: they’ve written three things in your fandom: your favorite fic, your notp, and a bizarre crossover with a show you’ve never heard of. you hit “expand fandoms list” on their author page and have to scroll down twice to reach the bottom. whenever you curse the fact that you can’t legally commission fic writers, this is the author you’re thinking about.
the horn dog: they’re here for one thing and one thing only. if someone’s dick is not in another character’s mouth within 500 words, they apologize for it in the author’s notes. they have one (1) g-rated fic.
the rookie: this writer is usually young, new to fandom, or just got a beta-reader for the first time. their fics are a little all over the place, quality-wise, but you’re excited whenever their name pops up because their unique voice gets stronger every time. you feel a personal investment in their development, like you’re an old man reading the local high school sports page and saying “this kid’s the one to watch.”
the live streamer: the most prolific author in the fandom. their works are all over the front page when you sort by kudos. you have no idea how they generate this much work, and have seriously wondered if they have access to an extra-dimensional time portal. their stories are usually un-beta’d and the characterization varies wildly, but their best works are inspired and you’ve read them 30 times.
the cryptid: this one comes out of nowhere every two years, drops the best fanfic you’ve ever read, and disappears. fifteen months after you left a three paragraph comment about how they changed your life, you get a message in your inbox that just says “thanks.”
the novelist: we talk about “filing off the serial numbers” when someone reworks their most popular story to pitch it as an original novel; this author somehow does the reverse. their fics are excellent, usually long-reaching multi-chapter AUs that have almost nothing to do with the on-screen characters except their names. i’d like to extend my personal thanks to this breed of author because it’s the closest i get to reading an actual book.
the reunion tour: this author wrote some of the most popular works in the fandom, but either moved on to k-pop or burned out when canon took a turn for the worse. they put out one new thing a year, often an old draft that’s been haunting them from under the floorboards. their last six author’s notes all say they never thought they’d write this pairing again and “this will probably be the last time.”
Striving to be a novelist, hoping I’m at least at rookie level 😂
fighting for my life trying not to become a specialist 😩 I just love me a good angsty fic so much 😭 every idea somehow turns tense… gone have to try and diversify my writing at some point (doubt I’ll manage to do it anytime soon lol)
I write adult content and treat grown themes so MDNI (18+). I’m sure I’ll forget to list some triggers but I’ll try my best not to do so!
(Part.2) // (Part. 4)
Genre ~ Fluff, Angst (+ lots of Smut)
Summary ~ Reader meets Dongha and Seongmok. Little by little, she's sucked into their duo, the distinction between the two more and more difficult to make. (AU - characters are aged up, like end of college. The union wasn’t dissolved)
Warnings ~ cussing, sexual themes, dom/sub dynamics, p in v
wc ~ 11.5k (can't believe I even did that tbh 😨)
Song suggestion : "You right, I got my guy but I can't help it I want you."
MASTERLIST
A/n ~ Reader is referred to as « ____ »
Longest piece I've written yet OMG 😱😱. This got way deeper that I expected tbh lol.
As always, reblog, like and COMMENT (please talk to me 🥺! You can hit me up in requests or DMs if you want to)
Enjoy !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JULY
You sat on the bench’s backrest, eyes closed. Your face was tipped up towards the sun as you savored the briny scent of the air.
You never realized you’d miss this as much moving to the city. So for the past three weeks, you had made it a mission to schedule a fun outdoor activity or dinner every night until your departure. You swore you’d make the best out of this much-needed summer back home.
A hand landed on your thigh, steadying your leg forcefully.
« Would you stop bouncing, bobble-head ? You’re giving me anxiety. Thought you would’ve learned how to sit still after all these hours of studying. »
You laughed and bumped your sister’s shoulder with your knee « Whatever. When do we have to be at the restaurant again ? »
« Don’t know. You made the reservation remember ? You should have the email somewhere. » You both bent over the screen.
You’d just opened the app when Dongha’s face popped up on your screen. You jumped at your sister’s screech « Ahh ! Is that your boyfriend ? He is hot. Tell him I said thanks for the giant ass teddy bear. I’m keeping it here with me by the way. »
Your smile faltered « No, that wasn’t him. »
The call went to voicemail. You’d call him back later, without an audience.
She frowned « Oh. Who’s this guy then ? Don’t tell me he’s just a study buddy, I’ll be sorely disappointed. You’re in the city ! You better enjoy it for the both of us. Until I join you, at least. »
You chuckled, the sound stiff. « I mean, yeah, that was my boyfriend— » Her squeal cut you off and you plugged your ears, gesturing for her to calm down. « He just wasn’t the one who got the bear. »
A panicked thought sprang up. You turned to her, eyes rounded « Please don’t go telling mom I have a boyfriend. You know her. She’ll want to talk to him and everything. »
She studied you for a bit and narrowed her eyes « What’s wrong with him ? You don’t think mom would like him ? »
You sighed « That’s not it— well… I don’t know if mom would like him or not. »
Ever since you’d arrived, your gut tightened every time you thought about your boyfriend. You tried to articulate what it was exactly that you felt about the whole situation but the words didn’t seem to come. « We’re just definitely not at this step for the moment. I’m trying to see where it goes… »
You looked away, lost in thought, feeling your sister’s gaze on your face. Her scrutiny fueled the clenching in your stomach. You shook your head « I don’t want to talk about it right now. Can we switch topics ? »
To your surprise, she nodded, letting it go without a fuss « Okay… Who got the bear ? »
The corners of your lips tipped up reflexively and she gasped theatrically « Oh I see. The plot thickens… You like this boy ! »
Your face went hot at her statement, cold sweat breaking down your back « What ? No ! »
Her whole expression fell « Ah. What ? Is he ugly or something ? »
« No he’s not ! » The words jumped out, harsher than expected and you both froze.
« I mean, he’s not ugly. Far from it. He’s just… He— He— »
She cackled, her finger pointed mockingly « He— he— he— finish the sentence bitch. Oh my God. You do have a crush, don’t you ? You little minx. So you have been enjoying the city after all. »
You latched onto her finger, hard. « Stop that. He’s Dongha’s best friend. »
Her eyebrows slammed together « Dongha ? »
You rolled your eyes « My boyfriend. Follow ! »
« Alright ! No need to get your panties all in a bunch. » She pulled, trying to free her finger. Your grip turned deadly. « I thought we were switching topics. »
« Well damn, I thought so too but apparently the subject is very much related. » She grabbed your hand, forcefully opening it « Unclench your teeth, you’re gonna hurt yourself. And don’t get mad at me. It’s not my fault you decided to build yourself a reverse harem. »
You heaved out a breath and stood, walking off.
She followed hurriedly « Ok—ok—ok. I’ll stop. I’m sorry. »
You halted. Her face was half apology, half mischief. You side-eyed her, ready to bolt at the slightest derisive comment.
She put her hands up, shoulders lowering « I’ll stop. For real. I just want you to promise me. Keep me updated on whatever happens between the three of you. »
Your eyes widened « There is no three of us. »
She nodded exaggeratedly, lips pursed « Mmhmm, if you say so. »
You swiveled and started away from her. She caught up until she stood in front of you, barring your escape path. Then she pouted and admitted gently « I’m serious. I wanna know about your life. I miss you. »
Damn it. How could you stay mad ? She knew exactly what to do to pull at your heartstrings. Her eyes rounded and you almost laughed, her puss in boots impression admittedly poignant. « I’m just trying to live vicariously through my older sister. Plus you know I read way too much romance. I mean come on… This is peak fanfiction material. » You looked at her cherub face. Then you caved. As usual.
Rolling your eyes, you extended a pinky « Alright. Swear. »
You two strolled around, pinkies intertwined, when your phone buzzed.
Dongha : I miss you.
You stared at the three words, the quiver in your chest starting anew. Almost a month later and these types of declarations coming from him still caught you off guard. Ever since that night he showed up at your doorstep, mouth full of apology, you cooled down some on reaching out to him. Save for the occasional TikTok or random post sharing, you mostly let him come to you.
You hadn’t told him you’d actually had a train to catch the next day, going back to your family for most of the summer. The timing was perfect. Some time away from the city wouldn’t hurt, you weighed. It would allow him to breathe a bit. And it would give you the space you needed to think more clearly. It was a bitch move. One you almost regretted when you heard the genuine disappointment in Dongha’s distorted voice at the other end of the line.
You telling me I’m not going to see you for the next two months just like that ? Over the phone ! Why didn’t you say anything when I showed up yesterday ?
His voice was so loud that your seatmate had glared at you. You smiled apologetically, lowering the volume, going to the tiny bathroom for some privacy.
I would’ve told you but you weren’t really available for me to do so recently.
Your frigid tone betrayed the lingering resentment.
Dongha laughed, the sound bitter
So you’re punishing me.
You pinched the bridge of your nose, eyes closing.
Not everything is about you Dongha. I’m going back to my family, the tickets were bought two months ago. Relax.
A bang sounded, Dongha’s curse hinting at him hurting himself on whatever he had knocked on. You stayed quiet.
You waited a bit, clinging to the negative thoughts for a second. The month-long anguish. The ugly words. The sound of the broken bottle, the scent of sweat and alcohol mixing together. The embarrassment.
Are we okay ?
His voice was hoarse when he asked, betraying the gnawing anxiety. You were brought back to his boyish face as you refused him entry to your apartment the night before. The clumsy apology he hadn’t hesitated to give. The bruise on Seongmok’s face.
With a deep breath, you chose to let go of the resentment.
Yes, Dongha.
You cleared your throat, then added, stronger.
We’re fine. Some time apart will do us some good, I think. So this is for the best.
What does that mean ? Doesn’t sound like us being okay. Some time apart ? You fuckin’ breaking up with me ? Over the fucking phone, ____!
You growled.
I am not breaking up with you. Fuck. Would you calm down ? I meant like, geographically.
You forced a casual laugh, trying to ease his mind a bit.
We’re okay, boyfriend. I’m just going home for a bit. Take this time to enjoy life without my incessant smothering. And sobbing. Before you even notice it, I’ll be back.
I told you I didn’t mean that shit.
He grumbled.
His whiny voice pulled a reluctant titter out of you, genuinely amused at how easily worked up he was being. You let your light laugh twinkle in his ear.
I know, babe.
He heaved a loud breath, his microphone rustling with the force of it.
Hell. I missed this sound. I’ll miss you. Like, a lot...
You paused.
Oh. That again.
With Dongha, missing you rarely stayed innocent for long. You rolled your eyes at his glum tone.
Don’t worry, I’ll try to sneak away so we can have phone sex. I won’t leave you stranded for two entire months. Wouldn’t want you to shrivel up and die.
He didn’t laugh, his answer unexpectedly solemn.
No. I mean, I’ll miss my girlfriend. More than I do already. It’s gonna be bleak around here without you. It has been already. For a while.
You stared ahead, heart racing. This guy… he couldn’t help but keep you on your toes.
You wanted to believe in the two of you as an item. But you’d been burned so many times. Now that he was being more open with his feelings, your gut tightened. Both the hope and the dread rose inside you. The heartfelt statement from him sounded almost too good to be true.
That being said, perhaps this fight needed to happen for the perspectives in your relationship to change. While you couldn’t figure him out completely, you knew Dongha could be set in his ways sometimes. Was that it ? The cycle you were struggling to identify ?
Maybe he needed an extra push to pull his head out of the sand from time to time. If it helped your relationship and strengthened your understanding of each other, then you would.
Unless this version of him was temporary, you’d say it had definitely been worth it.
He was finally opening up, reaching out for you. You might not be ready just yet to open your heart as fully as it was before, but you could reciprocate his energy. You’d give him the space he needed to reach out to you, on his own terms, and act in consequence.
Just call me whenever, I’ll try to brighten your day up a bit.
The soft smile was audible in your voice and he hummed.
I’ll hold you to that… Tell me when you get home safely.
Your daydream faded, the text staring back at you.
You : I miss you too.
You typed in and then stared at the blinking cursor, debating. You did miss him. You missed the laughter, the brazen nights together. Most of all you missed the quietly intimate moments. Eating snacks in your bed at 2 A.M. The piggyback rides. The look on Seongmok’s face whenever you were out and you two suddenly got a weird idea that could definitely land you in jail. You smiled at the fond memories then hit send, adding a little red heart for good measure.
You : I’ll call you back tonight. Say hi to Seongmok for me.
You : Don’t get into too much trouble without me.
Dongha : He sends it back.
Dongha : Seongje is jealous. He asks why he doesn’t get a greeting too.
You : Tell him he does.
You : A middle finger.
Dongha : *1 attachment*
You stared at the picture of Seongje flipping you off, Seongmok leering at him from the side. Shaking your head, you reacted to the picture with a crying emoji. You truly missed them all. Laughing softly, you pocketed the device, enjoying the stroll with your sister.
AUGUST
Seven weeks and four days. You’d even contemplated counting down the hours at some point. Oh, how you couldn’t wait to run back to your life. No one hovering over your shoulder. Not having to report on where you were going. Or why. Or whom with.
You loved your mother, she meant well, but two entire months under constant supervision had been… a lot. Add to that your sister’s bratty ways. The kid was as endearing as she was insufferable.
Long story short, never had you packed a bag so quickly.
You had three weeks ahead of you before school started up again. You’d get to ease back into your routine. To plan the upcoming school year. They didn’t know it yet but you were currently scheming to rope Dongha and Seongmok into taking you to the mall. You’d shop to your heart’s desire before you were caught in the whirlwind once again. You were excited to just go back to hanging out and chilling with the two of them for a few weeks.
With all of them, really. You’d gotten used to the weird ambiance of the bowling alley, and you missed the fun of it all. You never knew what to expect with these guys. You could already see Seongje teasing you after yet another failed attempt at a strike. Seongmok’s reluctant micro-smiles when you said or did something outlandish. Dongha cheering you up as you went drink for drink with some other dumbass in gin pong.
You stood, damp hands wrapped around your suitcase handle, nose practically touching the train door’s thick window as it slowed to a stop. Legs bouncing restlessly, you waited for the robotic voice to set you free. Finally, you’d get to see your boyfriend. For real this time. You hadn’t kissed him in so long… And even then, the memory of your last tryst left a bitter taste in your mouth.
Your head snapped up when the doors opened, the sharp smell of the bustling train station oddly comforting. You stepped out, looking around for two tall figures amongst the throng of people. They usually towered over most people, shouldn’t be hard to find, right ?
You staggered distractedly towards the exit, looking for one familiar face in particular. You caught his cologne a moment before his strong arms wrapped around you from the side. Dropping your suitcase, the ear-splitting wail you let out drew attention from passers-by. You couldn’t care less.
He squeezed your waist. « Damn. Missed me that much ? » You twisted in his arms, then looked past him to an empty space.
He peeked behind his shoulder then back at you, teasing « What ? Did you have another boyfriend lined up to get you ? »
You giggled « No it’s just… no Seongmok ? »
His expression tightened, just slightly « Wow. I thought after two months, you’d be happy to see your boyfriend. Alone. »
Taken aback, your eyebrows jumped up. When had Pinocchio turned into a real boyfriend ? You beamed, hands sliding up the back of his neck. You leaned into him, closer this time, grounding yourself in his presence. « I am ! » You insisted, quickly, then pressed a kiss to his cheek. « Doesn’t it feel like it ? »
He humphed but stayed right where he was. « Not when you’re talking about other guys while in my arms. »
You smirked « It’s Seongmok, it doesn’t count. » He rolled his eyes. That was his line.
« Anyway. What shall we do now that I’ve got you all to myself ? » Eyes full of mischief, you dragged your palms from his neck down to his taut stomach.
He bit his lip. « Hurry. Let’s go » He grabbed your suitcase handle, dragging you by the hand out of the busy station. You giggled following after him.
~~~
An unbearable subway ride later, you were fiddling with your keys trying to open your door. Your surroundings felt blurred. The awareness of Dongha’s large frame behind you had your clumsy hands missing the slit a couple of times.
The suitcase barely made it inside before the two of you started pawing at each other. Most of your clothes were discarded on the entryway’s floor. You truly relaxed for the first time in months when Dongha picked you up and carried you through the apartment, plopping your limp body onto the bed.
You didn’t realize just how alive he made you feel until he touched you again. Eyes closed, you could feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins, your fingers tingling where they were latched in his silky hair.
His lips chased over your throat, biting down sharply when he felt the vibration of your weak voice. The way he sucked on the skin, you couldn’t tell whether he was apologizing or punishing you for how long it had been since he’d last had you in his arms. You clung to him like he was the very air you needed, your nails sinking into his skin, cursing him for missing him so much.
The pressure on your neck stopped for a second before his tongue met yours, the kiss wet and messy. « Fuck. » He came up for air, his unsteady breaths hitting you on the cheek.
You stilled, opening your eyes. He didn’t have to utter a word for you to read it plainly on his face. He’d really yearned for you while you were gone. He hadn’t said as much just to placate you. He looked… undone. Completely. You trailed light fingers over his neck, his shoulders, his arms. The skin was raised and bright red where your claws had planted and scratched furiously.
He shivered and you brought your gaze back to meet his. You found none of the usual teasing in his eyes. Only something raw.
« Dongha—» You didn’t get to finish.
The world tilted and suddenly, you were hugging the mattress, belly flat on the soft surface. He was obviously worked up. So you braced yourself quietly, anticipating the usual pace. Fast and rough. Instead, he surprised you with a gentle pull of your hips. He set a pillow under you, and you were grateful for the support, the position more comfortable. He straddled your thighs, forcing them closed. A strong hand delicately gathered your hair, setting it aside. His other arm slowly travelled from your waist up to your chest until his light hand wound around your throat. No pressure on your windpipe at all but merely holding your head in place.
You were facing away from him, most of your skin either hidden by the mattress or covered by his body. And yet, you’d never felt more exposed. There was something about the lazy way he moved. The careful way he touched you. Like he was memorizing every single detail of you. He kissed the side of your face and you whimpered at the softness of it all.
The feather-like friction started right at your entrance. Hips rolling leisurely, he trailed down to your hardened nub and back again. He enjoyed the feel of your wet center like he had all the time in the world, spreading moisture over the area as he went. Each time he ground away from where you needed him most, you hissed, walls clenching expectantly. Immobilized by the hand on your neck, his whole body acted as an anchor, tying you down to the moment. The firm hold clashed with the tenderness of his strokes, keeping you on your toes, enhancing each caress. The tension built. Not rushed, not careless. But drawn out in a way that made your chest hurt.
After what seemed like an eternity, he pushed into you, feeding you his whole length. Inch by agonizing inch. He didn’t stop until he was buried to the hilt. Then he stalled, lodged deep inside of you, unmoving.
You felt him everywhere, his whole being embedded under your skin. The stretch of your tender flesh slowly grew from a delicious tingle to overwhelming. You moaned louder than you ever had before, the sound drowning out every other noise in the room.
When you finally let go, pressing your face into the mattress, fingers clutching the sheets, it wasn’t only the intensity of the moment. It was the realization too. You identified what the uncomfortable feeling in your belly had been all along.
Longing.
After months, it finally stopped and released, jolting through your entire body. You cared for him. Way more than you’d let yourself admit.
So much so that his pushing into you gave you more of a homecoming feeling than the whole summer ever had. This had all gotten way deeper than you’d ever wanted it to go.
A tremor ran through you and you tried to turn your face to get a glimpse of him. You wanted to look into his eyes. To know whether you were imagining the weight of his touch. The caution in his kisses. The depth of the moment. His fingers shook around your neck as he held you in place. You tried again and he tightened the grip. He was avoiding your gaze. His forehead met the spot right between your shoulders and you let it go with a huff. Was this his breaking point ?
He pulled all the way out, his deep grunt almost pained as he thrust all the way in again. The mellow pace lit up every nerve ending and you let him keep the lead, your whole body almost electrified at the intrusion.
Soon enough, you were screaming his name. Before you realized what was happening, you clamped down on him uncontrollably. The powerful zing pulsed from your core all the way out to your toes and scalp. A raw cry escaped you, frantic hands finding him again, the only real thing ensuring you didn’t fly off too far away.
Your heart squeezed, aftershocks pulsing harder when you heard his own strangled grunt. You felt him throb, his own pleasure coming out in thick hot spurts inside you.
You dropped back down to earth to him peppering kisses on your shoulder. The room had gotten quiet. The kind of stillness that only occurred when everything had settled down. The calm after a devastating storm.
You didn’t know how long you’d lain there, spent. It took him getting up to fetch a wet rag and clean you up for you to snap out of the near-blackout. The mattress shifted under his weight, warmth returning as he slipped back next to you.
Body heavy, mind slow, drowsiness engulfed you. For the first time in a long time, you felt still. Safe. Before you could hold onto the thought, you drifted off to sleep, pulled under somewhere between exhaustion and comfort.
SEPTEMBER
You wiped your sweaty hands on your jeans, staring at the closed door.
You’d been back for a week now, and already you were getting antsy, desperate for something to do. Then it occurred to you. Dongha’s birthday had come and gone during your absence. It was bad enough that you’d been away for his special day. But you had to lie there and listen as he recounted the shitty, basic day he’d had. As expected, they’d done nothing special to celebrate him.
He’d slapped your butt playfully at the twinkle in your eyes, his own narrowing « Don’t go getting crazy ideas in this pretty little head of yours. It’s a birthday. It’s passed. End of the story. » He kissed your pout away. « Goddamn. When’s school starting up again ? You have way too much time on your hands. »
You’d feigned surrender, but this really didn’t sit right with you. You slept on it until it finally hit you.
How about a belated birthday party ?
You knew him by now. While a full-blown party didn’t seem very likely, the usual hangout at the bowling center was the closest thing to a party you’d ever be able to drag him to. Which wasn’t a bad base to go off of, all things considered. There were already party-goers, alcohol, and his closest friends. Add to that the cake and some type of present and it could definitely do. You’d approached Seongmok with the idea, expecting him to shoot it down in the same way Dongha had a few months back.
You watched Dongha through the living room window, his silhouette shrinking as he strolled further away from your apartment. You rushed and dialed his friend.
The call barely beeped before his steady voice sounded in your ear, concerned.
Everything alright ?
You tittered, immediately easing his mind. You pitched the idea to him.
Silence.
You bit your thumbnail, waiting for him to let you down gently. If you had to settle for a measly cupcake and a single candle in your tiny apartment, then so be it. Still, it was too bad. Why they were so adamant on not enjoying the little joys this life had to offer, you had no—
Yeah, sure. That’d be great. What do you need me for ?
This shut your inner voice right up.
Yes ?
He hummed.
What do you need me for ?
Well… I already have an idea for the present, but… Do you think Baekjin would be okay with giving you a break sometime this weekend ? And like, maybe order a few cakes ?
I don’t see why. I’ll tell him you want to meet with him.
It was your turn not to answer.
____ ? You still there ?
Um, yeah… about that. Would you please ask Baekjin yourself ?
Why ?
You sighed.
I barely ever spoke two words to him, Seongmok ! I doubt he even knows who I am… I’m sure you’ll have more luck than I. Please ?
He paused.
____ ? You’re scared of him, aren’t you ?
If you didn’t know him any better, you’d swear you could hear a teasing smile coming from him. You growled your answer, cold hands cooling down your hot cheeks.
No ! I’m not…
Silence.
Okay, maybe just a tiny little bit. Can you blame me though ? He’s all… broody, scary mafia boss.
I already told you, we’re not a mafia.
He was definitely smiling now.
You chuckled.
Right. If you say so. Anyway… please ?
Trust me. It’ll be better welcomed if it comes from you, sweetheart.
He coaxed.
Your stomach clenched at the endearing term. You faltered then shook your head, whining the next words.
Why did you ask how I needed you then ? How are you making yourself useful Seongmok ?
By being silent and pretty. Heard you were into that.
You cackled, thrown back to the night the three of you had met.
You’re funny, Seongmok. I hate you.
Hmm. So you’ve said. Seriously though, don’t worry. Ask him. And it’s you ____, so you’re not paying for anything. Plus it’s for Dongha. We’ll handle it.
You heaved a loud breath and he let out a small cough. His version of a laugh, you presumed.
Just get the green light, the when, and the how, then come back to me. I’ll help with the heavy-lifting and everything.
Thanks. Means a lot.
So you gathered your wits, steeled yourself, and went to Baekjin’s office, terrified. By what, you didn’t even truly know. You just didn’t want to look a fool or to be dismissed altogether. Did he even remember your face ?
The silence thing didn’t particularly faze you anymore. But Baekjin had this intensity.
The fact that he was the guys’ manager definitely had something to do with it. Especially since although you didn’t know what your boyfriend did for him, you’d easily figured out it was on the illegal side of things.
Baekjin’s piercing eyes landed on you when you entered. For an uncomfortable moment, he assessed you. You stood, immobile save for your fidgety hands.
« You wanted to talk ? »
You nodded « Um, yeah ! » Your voice broke and you cleared your throat before resuming. « It was Dongha’s birthday like… two weeks ago. And well, I wasn’t there, and he didn’t do anything. So I was thinking we could maybe do a little something here ? Not that I want to appropriate or change anything ! Just like, the usual hangout, but with cake ? Maybe ? »
The longer he sat there, staring, the less control you had over your word diarrhea. « I mean, it’ll be fun and well… Happy employees, thriving business right ? »
You were grasping at straws now. « I’ll pay for everything ! » He blinked. Your shoulders dropped with a huff. « If it’s not okay, it’s alright I’ll just buy him a present and… » You wiped your hands on your jeans again. They’d be drenched in sweat soon if this went on any longer. « Just forget it. It was dumb. »
You waved an awkward goodbye and started towards the door when you heard his voice « How much would you need ? »
You halted, glancing back at him, eyebrows high up on your forehead « You’re okay with it ? »
He nodded once « We’ll make it a special night thing, might bring in more customers actually. Be good for business. Just organize it and send me the bill. Is Friday night okay ? »
You squealed. Baekjin’s shoulders jumped in surprise at the outburst. « Oh, sorry. I was just very happy and… Yes, Friday’s perfect. I’ll just leave you to it ! »
~~~
Applying the sparkling gloss on your lips, you cast a last glance at your outfit for the night. The look was bold. Daring. The oval cut-out gave a peek of your cleavage in a way you bet would have Dongha staring. Your dark grey denim skirt was just short enough, the hem cut rather high above your knees. You took in the curve of your thighs, a flicker of doubt tightening your chest.
A memory assaulted you. Seongmok’s eyes straying to your legs that night you met. Heaving a deep breath, your tongue swiped over your lips. The acrid taste of the sticky product hit you at once, its shine completely wiped off your lips. « Ugh. » You reapplied a shimmery coat and marched out of the bathroom.
Cold sweat ran down your back. The sky was way darker than you expected. You hadn’t hung out at the alley in so long, you’d gotten ready fussing every single step of the way. In haste, you grabbed your stuff, the birthday baggie, and off you went.
You staggered out of the cab, swallowing down the small wave of nausea gripping your throat. The driver could apply for the next Fast & Furious, the way he’d jumped at the opportunity to race through town. You’d clutched the oh-shit handle until your fingers cramped.
You checked your phone to see that Seongmok had responded while you were still on your way.
Seongmok : 10 mins
This was less than five minutes beforehand. Smiling at the screen, you huffed a relieved breath. Damn. That was worth a generous tip, for sure.
You ran inside the establishment, yelling excitedly. « GUYS ! THEY’RE FIVE MINUTES AWAY ! »
***
Seongje strolled ahead of them. Dongha’s head twisted, eyes narrowed at Seongmok’s slow pace. He watched as his friend stashed the phone back into his pocket. « What was that about ? »
Seongmok caught up to him, walking past, eyes glued to his own feet. « Family stuff. »
Dongha made a face but let it go. Something was off, and had been for a few days now. Whatever it was, he trusted he would share with him whenever he felt like doing so. Or when it got too heavy to carry alone. As always.
They walked into the center to find it almost blacked out. Dongha shivered, the hair rising on the nape of his neck. « What the fuck ? » Seongmok and Seongje didn’t seem too worried, so after a tiny pause, he dragged the door to the main area open.
Bright lights turned back on, all at once, blinding him. He flinched. His hand lowered, and there you were. Comically pink-frosted cake in your arms, and a huge smile on your face. The whole crew was standing around you, impish smirks painted on their faces. At your signal, they all chorused an obviously rehearsed « HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! »
The reluctant voices startled him. He let out a belly laugh. « What the fuck ? »
Seongje slapped the back of his head, the thwack hard enough to resonate. « For birthday luck. Asshole. »
This opened the festival, the other guys rushed him, happy at the prospect of hitting him without repercussions. You rolled your eyes at the display, setting the cake back down on the table.
Seongje slipped past you, throwing the words over his shoulder. « How romantic. » He sat at the table and plucked the closest slice of chocolate cake, moaning his approval. « I’m endorsing this corny shit if it might get Baekjina to feed us every goddamn once in a while. »
You laughed, swiveling to check on your boyfriend, still busy fighting off dozens of birthday taps. Seongmok stood next to the ruckus. His lips tipped up ever so slightly when he caught your gaze. You threw a wink his way, chest warm at the scene.
The ginormous cake was finally almost entirely sliced. Movement to your side grabbed your attention and you gaped at Seongje pulling yet another slice his way. He stacked his third plate over the other two and you hissed. His shoulders jumped up and he gestured at the table full of plates. « What ? Don’t judge me. Look at these tiny ass slices. So stingy. »
You threw a paper towel his way. It bounced off his forehead. He deadpanned. « Ouch. »
You stuck your tongue out. « It’s so that everyone can have a piece, you selfish prick. »
His eyes rolled. « Who cares ? » He pointed his fork towards Dongha « Boyfriend number one isn’t a fan of chocolate. Go figure. » He twirled his hand. Tines aimed at Seongmok next. He added, tone deliberately snarky « Boyfriend number two ? Isn’t a fan of anything sweet. Period. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear he eats rocks for dinner every night. Would actually explain the permanent constipated look on his face. »
Hand clamping over your mouth, you snuffed a snigger, pressing your lips together. « Whatever. I’m convinced there’s some type of pastry or something that he likes. »
« Good luck with that. » He mumbled. You shook your head and resumed your task.
He surveyed you. The taunt didn’t seem to bother you in the slightest. Interesting. « How you got Seongmok of all people to help plan a party is beyond me. You’ve got them eating in the palm of your hand these two. Never thought I’d see the day. It’s quite funny. » He exited the booth, coming to stand close to you, a suspicious leer on his face. He adjusted his glasses. « Waiting to see what you’ve got in store for them. »
It was your turn to roll your eyes. « I don’t have anything in store for anyone, Seongje. Just because you love to act like a DC supervillain in your spare time doesn’t mean we’re all scheming and plotting. »
« Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, Harley. » He joked. Then he snatched a fourth plate and hurried away. At your gasp, he spun, walking backwards. « For Baekjin ! » His wicked grin betrayed the lie.
You chuckled in disbelief. Childish. For Baekjin, my ass. This guy was insufferable.
***
You were arranging the plates neatly on the table when Dongha’s arms wrapped around you. His warm breath tickled your ear. « What did I tell you, huh ? You just can’t help it, can you ? I should’ve known. »
You wiggled around to face him. « That’s right ! You should’ve. I’m surprised no one spilled the beans to be honest. »
He scratched his head, squinting. « So, who all knew about this stunt ? »
« Well, Baekjin was our first stop, of course. Can you believe it ? He said his workers would be at my beck and call for the evening. Then we told Seongje only today because I have a feeling he wouldn’t have resisted the urge to tease you about it for longer than a day. »
He blinked. « We ? »
« Well, yeah. Seongmok helped me with most of the logistics. »
His jaw tightened. « You really had to go ahead and bother all these people ? »
You made a face, gesturing to your surroundings. Most guys looked overjoyed, stuffing their faces with cake. « I don’t know, they don’t look all that bothered to me. »
He looked around, biting his lip. His face stiffened for a second. You cupped it, redirecting his attention towards you. « What’s really bothering you, baby ? It was your birthday… I feel like we missed out. Just didn’t want to let it go by like that, that’s it. »
He brushed his cheek against your palm. « Yeah. Or it was a very convenient excuse for you to appease your hyper mind, putting your little fingers where they shouldn’t be. »
The unease you felt at his words dueled with the comfort his thumbs brought you, as they caressed your back gently. Conflicted, you let your hands fall away from his face and tried to take a step back. His arms tightened around you, slowing your retreat.
Your eyes fell to your hands, balled into fists against his chest. You cleared your throat. « I’m sorry if I overstepped… I thought you might like it. I mean it’s the usual. Except you’re actually free for the night. It’s just cake and the one present. That’s all… »
He kissed your pouted lips. « I never said I don’t like it, sweetheart. » His hands squeezed where they rested at your waist. You took a deep breath, head lowering gingerly.
« Hey, I swear. Was just making sure you didn’t go overboard. I just know we were this close to an inflatable castle and a ceiling-full of neon balloons. » He quipped, fingers tickling your sensitive skin until you giggled softly. He tilted your chin back up, then kissed your temple. « I’ll thank you properly. Later. »
He winked, pulling a small smile out of you. Your fists unclenched, warm palms settling over his strong heartbeat. « Can’t wait. »
***
The party had started quite late, so most customers were long gone. The atmosphere was actually easygoing for once. They looked like they’d been looking for a reason to kick back and relax for a while now. After you gave Dongha his gift, he joined some ongoing game while you handed out cake to whoever was interested.
The flow of people coming to you thinned out, so you picked up a serving and joined Seongmok. He sat, alone, a few tables away from the intense competition.
You held out a plate, a huge slice of cake sitting on it, along with a plastic fork. His nose flared as he eyeballed the extended offer like it was radioactive.
You retreated your hand an inch, eyes widening. « Wait, are you allergic or something ? I ordered chocolate and strawberry thinking most people are okay with at least one but… »
He shook his head, accepting the treat. In truth, he was a savory guy through and through. He never had interest in any dessert whatsoever, so he just gave up on trying them altogether. Still, the gesture seemed heartfelt so he didn’t say a thing. He picked at the cake. The tiny bite hit his tongue with an onslaught of sugar.
You huffed in defeat, pulled a fork from behind you, and cut a huge chunk off the dish. He watched, eyebrows lifted, as you brought it to your lips. You chuckled « I thought I could help you finish it if you didn’t like this one either. »
Your knowing look pulled a smile out of him. You bent, a comical hand covering the side of your mouth as you disclosed. « I’m on a secret mission. »
He blinked and you elaborated. « I want to know what sugary treat you like. I’ve noticed that every single outing we go on, we stuff our faces, and you never indulge. At first, I just thought, well, maybe he’s watching his weight. All that muscle can’t be built on sugar. Then I thought you’re just not the sweets type. But I’m convinced you just haven’t tried what works for you yet. It’s important. You know what people say : savory feeds the body, sweets feed the soul. »
He stared. « Who says that ? »
You scowled. « Me. »
His eyebrow lifted and you waved away his blatant skepticism. « What ? I’m people too. »
His eyes trailed to your fork as you licked it clean, then counted out imaginary items with it. « So far, I’ve crossed out chocolate of all sorts, apple candy, apple pie. And now, strawberry shortcake I guess. » You flung the fork and it softly clattered on the table, snapping him out of his trance.
He bit back a smile and set his head on the wall behind him, giving you a good view of his profile. Focused on the ongoing games, he mumbled. « Tangerines. »
« What was that ? » Head tilted, you put a hand behind your ear, prompting him to speak up.
Gaze still locked away, he repeated, louder. « Tangerines. That’s what I like. »
The corner of your lips tipped up. « I’ll remember that. »
He snorted. « I know. Should I expect to go home to my house buried under a mountain of tangerines, ____ ? »
You put up a finger. « That could be arranged. But as it stands, I don’t have your address. »
« Thank God. » He answered dryly.
Giggling, you settled more comfortably in your seat. You found your boyfriend in the crowd as he barely missed yet another strike. Your mind strayed back to your earlier conversation. Stomach churning, the past couple of months rushed back in. Shaking your head, you smoothed the tense line of your eyebrows with your fingers.
You felt Seongmok’s eyes on you. Looking up into his concerned stare, you attempted a reassuring smile. It fell flat, never reaching your eyes. He didn’t pretend to believe you. Not for a second.Averting your gaze, you started to toy with the plastic fork to give your jittery hands something to do.
Soon, you heard his steady voice. « Thank you. »
You snorted a self-deprecating laugh. « Yeah, I believe that’s my line. »
He ignored the comment and pushed through, an awed inflexion in his tone. « I don’t know what you’re doing, hanging with low-lives like us but… for what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here. »
Breath suspended, you didn’t dare blink, unshed tears pooling in your eyelids. « It was empty here without you. This little get-together is good. For everyone. »
You looked up to the ceiling. The trick helped keep the tears at bay. He waited until you met his eyes to finish. « So thank you. »
The warmth of his words spread out to your limbs, tingling the sensitive planes of your face. A melodic, watery giggle left your lips. For the first time in a long time, you finally felt like you belonged. You sobered. Your raspy voice was barely audible when you answered. « Thank you, Seongmok. » You cleared your throat to dislodge the tickle of emotion left there. « Means a lot. I needed that. »
He maintained the stare, only yielding once the glum sheen left your eyes. « No need to thank me. »
You swallowed, erratic pulse settling down as you gawked at him.
He was particularly chatty tonight. Now that you thought about it, you’d never seen him so… laid-back. But he was reclining there, half-lidded eyes distracted. His usual stiffness nowhere to be found. So you took advantage. The question popped out, timidly. « How did you and Dongha meet ? How did you end up in this place ? »
He mulled it over for a second. If you weren’t peering at his face so intently you might’ve missed it, but his expression shuttered slightly. « It’s a long story. »
It was obvious he was on the verge of a confession. Something had him conflicted though. You shrugged, pushing a little. « I have nowhere else to be right now. I’m all ears. »
He wavered, throwing a glance your way before looking down. « It might change how you view us. »
Ah. So there was what troubled him.
You channeled his earlier grit, voice strong when you declared. « I doubt that’s even possible. Seongmok, I might not know every gritty detail, but I figured out that whatever you guys do here, it’s not all pretty. Regardless, I wouldn’t judge who you are. I just want to know how this version of you came to be, that’s all. »
He gulped, bracing himself before he started. You sat, body angled towards his, face candid as you listened to what he said. Countless questions popped up, begging to be asked. Especially regarding the emotional toll the traumatic events must have taken on him and Dongha.
Your lips almost formed around them several times. You managed to contain them though. After nearly a year, he was finally opening up. You didn’t dare interrupt him. Not even once. The moment was too precious for you to ruin it by being overzealous. Instead, you consciously canalized your energy, focus riveted on him as he poured his thoughts to you.
You quickly realized the most important clue was in fact what he didn’t say. The things he rushed over, as if they didn’t count. They were actually the parts you guessed mattered the most.
He explained how they’d asserted themselves, growing in confidence until they became the most feared duo of their high school. He barely mentioned the bullying they had endured, when you were pretty sure it was what had prompted them to get there.
He glossed over how they’d had to navigate life inside the union as teenagers. How they had to adapt now to an even more dangerous world as very young adults. « We graduated, skipped college altogether, and just joined this place. Permanently. That’s what we’re good at, anyway. » He said.
What you heard was different. That’s all we’re good at.
You could hear it in the way he brushed off even getting their high school diploma. Like it was a detail in the grand scheme of things and he’d never even contemplated what he might do with it. Like their path was already written from the very beginning.
When he was finished, you nodded slowly. He didn’t mention the brutality that came with it. The constant, bone-deep exhaustion of being hyper-aware. Not once. This was a sore topic. For both of them. You aimed your gaze at Dongha, seeing him in a new light.
« I get it. » You said softly before turning to him. « Thank you. For sharing. »
He blew out a controlled breath, tautness leaving his face bit by bit.
***
Nearly an hour later, you were still sitting in the same spot, a serene comfort floating over your tiny table. You took distracted bites of the cake, smirking in delight every time you caught Seongmok stealing a piece of strawberry off the plate.
Dongha still hadn’t even visited the two of you. You would cut him some slack though, just this once. Birthday privileges and all.
Seongmok rested, sprawled deep into his seat. You’d never seen him so relaxed before. You casually scrolled on TikTok. You stumbled on a clip of the viral Olympic medalist in shooting, standing with one hand in his pocket, looking like a professional hired gun. Snickering, you turned your screen towards Seongmok. « That’s you winning that Teddy bear at the fair. In all your mafia thug glory. »
You mimicked his shooting stance, aiming the imaginary gun at him.
He did something you didn’t expect at all. For the first time since you met him, he laughed, completely unguarded.
You jolted, eyes rounding in disbelief.
Now that you knew more about them, it made sense. His mutism. Dongha’s deflection. Self-preservation. But now that you’d bared witness to both of their real laughs… There was something so boyish and carefree about them. It became glaringly obvious that they hadn’t had a choice but to shut this part of them out. Made you realize how fast they’d had to grow up and adopt tougher personas. For respect. Protection.
You marvelled at the unusual sight, mesmerized. He resembled Dongha so much for a moment that it threw you for a loop. The lazy yet confident way he lounged, the raspy chuckle, the twinkle in his tired eyes.
God. That was hot.
His eyes snapped to yours, mirth gone, body still as a statue. You froze, smile wavering. Had your big ass mouth actually said that bit out loud ?
You stared at each other. His face grew stonier by the second. Your teeth clamped down on your lower lip and he zoned in on it, tongue darting out to swipe over his own. The sickeningly sweet flavor snapped him out of the moment.
His Adam’s apple bobbed and he sat up straighter, shutting you out. You could only watch the walls go back up, almost like they were physical. Your heart hammered in your chest, the impulse racing down to the tips of your fingers.
He opened his mouth, grating your name gruffly « ____. I— »
« What did I miss ? »
You both jumped at Dongha’s loud voice. He dropped down between you, the silence suddenly unbearably heavy. He picked up your fork and dug into the cake. « What ? Am I interrupting ? »
You shook your head lightly. « Of course not. »
He hummed. « So. Turns out you two are way more sneaky than I anticipated. »
Your heart squeezed. You could literally feel Seongmok going more rigid by the second on the other side of the bench. Dongha turned to his friend. Seongmok looked into his eyes, fists tight. « And here I was, thinking something was actually wrong with you. Should’ve known it had something to do with this one. » He swung towards you. « Guess you’re rubbing off on us now. » He jested.
There was an edge to his voice. Or there wasn’t, and you were so unnerved by your earlier slip-up that you were losing it…
« Everything okay ? You’re quiet. »
The yawn crept up on you. A wave of exhaustion hit you. This had been… an eventful night for sure. Pulling yourself together, you sucked in a long breath, your answer honest. « Yeah. I’m tired. »
Dongha shifted, kneeling in front of you. He took your hands in his. « Come on. I’m ready to get the hell out of here anyway. » He pulled you up and kissed your cheek. « You can go out. I’ll be there in a sec. »
You turned towards Seongmok and he nodded goodbye to you. His glance was lightning-fast, already gone by the time you caught it. « Have a good night. » You hummed before walking out of the suffocating room.
***
Dongha watched you go then turned to his friend, face blank. « Hey. What were you two talking about ? »
Seongmok stayed perfectly still. « She showed me a TikTok. It was funny. » Dongha gave him a long look, head tilted. « Hmm. For an hour ? »
Seongmok’s ears turned red. He grimaced. Dongha made it worse when he added « You like her. » His mouth opened, no words coming out.
Dongha laughed tightly. « I mean. You all like her so damn much… »
The relief barely had time to land. He’d misunderstood Dongha’s words for a reason. The thought sat very wrong. Oblivious to his dismay, he went on. « I didn’t see her winning you over too though. The more she hangs here the more I wonder who you all will choose to keep if we end things… » It was meant as a joke. A rather poorly executed one. The bite behind the words was barely hidden, his grin all teeth.
Seongmok rested his arms against his knees, voice fierce. « I’ll never forget where my loyalty lies. »
Their eyes locked for a second before Dongha chuckled, setting a hand on Seongmok’s shoulder. « Okay. Relax, I know this. I was fucking around. I’ll see you later tonight. »
Seongmok nodded, watching his friend leave. He sank back against the bench, hands going to his pockets. The smooth, cold metal of the lighter pressed against his fingertips. He sighed.
~~~
You reached your apartment, looking behind you to make sure Dongha still followed.
As soon as he exited the center, you felt the change in his demeanor, the usual playful banter was nowhere to be found. More than that, he was acting out of character. His whole back was rigid, his walk stiff. He looked grim. The fact that he’d been mute for the past thirty minutes now was what disturbed you the most. After three failed attempts at making casual conversation, you gave up. You did your best to enjoy the evening stroll. Still, you couldn’t help but throw covert glances back at him.
Opening your front door, you peeked at him once more, unsure. You blew out a relieved breath when he entered behind you, the door swinging closed with a click. You removed your shoes, breath catching again when Dongha didn’t do the same. « Are you leaving ? »
Silence.
Your back settled against the door. « Baby… » Head pressing against the hard wood, your eyelids slid shut. « Did I do something wrong ? »
He snorted without humor. You sighed. The night had drained you. You had no energy for an argument. Too much had happened. Too much, and nothing at all. You’d had your eyes on him all night. Even so, barely a word between you. And even then, what little you got felt… off. Close, and somehow out of reach.
His shadow fell over you and your eyes opened. You glided your arms around his neck and pulled, your body now plastered against his. Thankfully, he let you basically strong-arm him into a hug. His hands, however, dangled at his sides.
« I did, didn’t I ? » Your sleepy voice rasped. « I got Baekjin, of all people, to buy a bunch of cakes for you. I gathered all your friends. I also got you this badass military phone case. God forbid I’d actually help you not crack your screen every time you fight. What offense am I forgetting ? » You toyed with the short hair at the back of his neck, eyes boring into his.
He unclasped your arms, sliding them off of him. « Maybe flirting with my friends is a good place to start. »
You leaned back against the door, giving him space. « Friends ? All of ‘em now ? » You were a notorious charmer. It had never bothered him before. Plus, you did accidentally tease your way out of Seongmok’s good graces. So you wouldn’t deny it.
Head tilted, he gave you a dry look and you held up your palms. « You know I’m a flirt. It was what brought us together I think. I don’t know that your lame lines would’ve worked on anybody else like that. »
He didn’t laugh. « I told you to leave Seongmok alone. »
« Dongha. It’s Seongmok… Come on. »
« Leave Seongmok alone ____. I mean it. » Lip curled in a snarl, he took a step forward, effectively cornering you. You thought back to Seongmok’s earlier revelations. Anger, intimidation… it was a defense mechanism. Every time you pushed too close, Dongha deflected. Snapped. Threatened.
And you’d let him. The distractions, you went along with. The raging bursts, you’d matched in intensity. Or you let them shut you down altogether.
So the scowl, the bark. It should’ve scared you off. Instead, you pressed further, steady eyes never leaving his face. His pupils were dilated. Nose flared. Jaw clenched. You were barely tempted to file it as standard boyfriend jealousy though. What he said didn’t match that particular script. « Hey, what’s really bugging you ? »
Dongha never ticked at you teasing the guys. Whether he trusted you that much or was just that confident, you didn’t know. The result was the same. You didn’t think this was about you. There was only one name he’d repeated.
You laid a palm over his hammering heart. « I wasn’t bothering him. » He looked down at it and back up to your daring look. « He even laughed with me today. » His pulse spiked, complexion adopting a reddish tint. So it was about Seongmok then.
Fatigue fogged everything in your brain, fueling the reckless side of you. Your hands crept down his front, the muscles in his stomach clenching in response. « Are you jealous ? Don’t worry, I won’t steal him away from you, honey. He’s all yours. » You said the last part low, voice syrupy.
He pushed your hands off where they hung dangerously close to his belt. « Cut this shit ____. » He took a step back and swiped a hand over his face like he was trying to steady himself.
You pushed through his agitation, not ready to drop the subject just yet. « I mean it. I won’t steal him away from you. Not like I could ever compete anyway. I’ve seen how protective you are of each other. It’s quite magnetic to be honest. Certainly you two’s best quality. I wouldn’t want to ruin that. »
He whirled back around, his troubled gaze roaming your face.
You shrugged lazily. « Would it really be so terrible though ? Us ? Together like that ? »
That did it.
Dongha prowled over to you, a dangerous edge to his face. You were hit by a vision for the second time tonight. You couldn’t help but recognize Seongmok all over his stoic face. Time stood still. You’d seen Dongha in a lot of states since you knew him. Careful was never one of them.
Until now.
The icy chill in his collected features would’ve cooled you down. If you had any sense of self-preservation. Regardless, the blend of seeing your boyfriend out of his usual bearing, into a new one you were already familiar with—and if you were honest with yourself, very attracted to… It sparked your nerves.
He seized your throat, firm yet gentle enough that you knew he wouldn’t hurt you. « Stop playing with me like that. You’re not funny. »
You blinked owlishly. « I’m not trying to be. You mean to tell me you’ve never thought about it ? » You could see the gears turning in his head. Mouth slightly agape, his hand slackened a touch. The idea didn’t seem to repulse him. Not even close.
Using his closeness to your advantage, you yanked on his jacket to draw your lower bodies closer. You smirked softly when you felt him grow rigid against your thigh. « I’m just saying. You’re both hot. I know a lot of girlies who would be glad to share a night with the two of you. Don’t tell me you never considered it before. » He peered at you, still as a statue. You rubbed your leg gently against his groin. « What if I say I’ve been thinking about it… » Voice strained under his grip, you breathed the statement like a forbidden thought.
His hand twitched around your neck. « You want to play, sweetheart ? » Heat flashed in his eyes, a dark laugh coming out. « Fine. We’ll play. »
His grip wound tighter around your throat, the dare evident in his unwavering stare. You grew lightheaded, tears clouding your vision. Even then, rising to the challenge, your eyes never strayed. You didn’t protest. You wouldn’t fold. Right as the first pang of worry crept in, the pressure evaporated. The deep gulp of air burned your deprived lungs. You coughed, Dongha’s slack hand holding you upright. Your chest heaved as you caught your breath, something unsteady pulsing through you. He shushed you soothingly before kissing the tears trailing down your face.
Slowly, the world stopped spinning. Your breathing dropped back to normal, fingers wrapping around his wrist. « Baby. »
« Shut up. » His lips crashed on yours and you melted against him.
Without warning he pushed your skirt up until it bunched at your hips. Then the world spun as he lifted you, hands firm on your thighs, and set you down on the cold tiles of the counter.
You leaned into him, lips chasing after his. He drew back, his mouth ghosting over yours, barely out of reach. Until his sharp teeth clamped down on your lower lip. Your hand smacked his cheek and he let out a wicked chuckle. « Not what you wanted ? »
Your nose flared.
His touch trailed over your thighs, grasping onto the lace at your hips. « You like these a lot don’t you ? » The material bit into your skin right before the ripping sound echoed in your silent apartment.
You jolted. « Fuck. » You could only watch, bewildered, as he languidly tugged the ruined garment off of you. He discarded it with a careless throw over his shoulder. He hovered over the cutout in your top next. « Did you wear this top for me ? » He searched your gaze, face stern. Almost cruel. « I guess I do have to ask, don’t I… » Bold fingers pawed at your hem, exposing your breasts crudely.
His hands rested on the counter next to you, yet each sensitive spot ignited at his predatory gaze wandering your body. Your chest, stomach. The sweet place between your legs, then all the way back up. He stalled once he reached your neck. « Beautiful. All marked up… »
You weren’t cold. Far from it. Still, you shivered, goosebumps spreading all over your skin at his scrutiny. The vivid memory played out. His expert grip controlling the flow of the very air that you breathed. Exuding so much authority, you had no choice but to stay there and take what he had to give, completely at his mercy. Your inner muscles squeezed and you swallowed, awaiting his next move.
He jerked your hips towards his, your tender flesh meeting the coarse fabric of his pants. You moaned and he smirked, then swiped the moisture seeping out of you, showing you his fingers. « You made a mess all over me already. And I haven’t even really touched you yet. »
You whimpered when his other hand lifted, only for him to softly caress your face, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. He pecked the sensitive patch right under it and whispered tauntingly. « Talking like a greedy whore when you can barely handle me. » His quiet rumble clashed with the raunchiness of the words and your walls fluttered unexpectedly.
You had no time to ponder on the feeling the contrast evoked. His length brushed against your wet slit, smearing the dampness all over your mound. Your core twitched in anticipation, fingers in a death-grip on the counter’s edge.
He entered you in one punishing stroke, groaning at the tightness of your heat. You threw your head back and took all of him, all at once. His hand pillowed your skull where it would’ve knocked against the wall.
He grasped your hair, coaxing you upright to face him « Look at me, baby. » You obeyed and he kissed your forehead, pausing.
The thrust that followed triggered another cry. Your eyelids merely fluttered. It was enough for him to tighten his fist in your hair. « Eyes on me. » He wasn’t easy to keep up with… You tried just the same, training your eyes on him.
« Good girl. » Warmth spread around your chest at the praise.
His steady breaths flitted across your lips. A slow drag followed by a sudden roll of his hips and you were downright panting now, pain and pleasure blending in a heady mix.
Voice all gravel, he grated. « Still thinking about it ? » The question threw you off. You pictured Seongmok. Thinking about him in this context had your heart slamming in your chest. Your arousal deepened and a twinge of guilt hit your gut.
Your muscles quaked around him. He gave his harshest push yet. The broken sob thundered between the two of you and he stilled, buried deep inside. « Say my name, sweetheart. » He waited until your eyes opened back up, glazed over. « Say my name. I need to hear you say it. »
It should’ve been effortless. Yet when your mouth opened, nothing came out. Grip shifting to his forearms, your thighs squeezed around his hips. You blinked the haze away, zoning in on his face. At last, you purred his name, breath fanning over his face.
He exhaled shakily, before his hand slackened in your hair altogether. His face loosened. You caught the veil casting over his eyes. He slammed them shut, then pulled you in a frenzied kiss.
***
The room was silent while you came down. In theory, both of your needs were met. The climax came and went. Then the energy had circled right back to where it started, satisfaction barely achieved.
He’d pulled out and gone straight to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. You stared expectantly at the sliver of light under the door, the dim light fanning out into the dark room.
The shower turned on.
Your attention landed on your torn panties on the floor, your carefully chosen outfit rumpled around your waist. Hand dragging to your core, you felt the mess he left there.
He was being an asshole. Climbing into the shower straight after what you’d done, yet no regard whatsoever for your disheveled state. This would’ve been common at the beginning of your relationship. You’d had to teach him how to be a tad bit less selfish when it came to aftercare and he mostly complied.
Which meant he either didn’t want to, or didn’t remember. You didn’t know which of the two would hurt the most, feeling farther away from him than you ever did before.
You went too far. Yet again.
Panicked, you hopped up and off the counter. You hurried and entered the bathroom, arms coming around him from behind. « Dongha. Don’t leave me. » You croaked against his drenched skin.
He waited a beat. You tightened the hold and he grabbed your arms, pausing. He unwound them softly.
You took a fortifying breath. There was no use, not tonight. The thin armor around your heart had taken too many hits for it to help in any way.
Turning around, he took in your shiny eyes, the raw dread in them on display. The veil lifted and he hugged you close, lifting you into his arms. You exhaled, hanging onto his strong frame, wishing the moment would never pass.
I write adult content and treat grown themes so MDNI (18+). I’m sure I’ll forget to list some triggers but I’ll try my best not to do so!
(Part. 1) // (Part. 3)
Genre ~ Angst, slight Smut
Summary ~ Reader meets Dongha and Seongmok. Little by little, she’s sucked into their duo, the distinction between the two more and more difficult to make. (AU - characters are aged up, like end of college. The union wasn’t dissolved)
Warnings ~ smoking, cussing, violence, sexual themes
wc ~ 5.5k
Song suggestion : « I have hella feelings for you. I act like I don’t fucking care, cuz I’m so fucking scared. I’m only a fool for you. »
MASTERLIST
A/n ~ Reader is referred to as « ____ »
I’d written most of the months down but I hadn’t planned on my mind running anymore as I re-read them ! So I’m posting June a little early to give you a little something before I finalize the writing all the way through September ^^
Enjoy and as usual : reblog, like and COMMENT ! ( I like talking to y’all 💞)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JUNE
Dongha was acting weird.
For the past two weeks, you’d heard every excuse under the sun as to why he couldn’t see you…
Life had actually been good there for a short while. For the first time since leaving the tender era that was your childhood, you could actually say that everything was OK.
After the assignment incident, you’d expected some retaliation from Naeun & Co. You were prepared to deal with them the proper way, awaiting their next move. The look on her face after the failed sabotage mission read plainly : Scheming in progress. So you’d mentally prepared to have a much-needed confrontation. At first, you thought out what you would say to them, your preferred outcome being to go your separate ways. But the more the days passed, the more the dread grew. It got to a point where you actually contemplated Dongha’s strategy. If it came to it, you were not above actually punching your way out of this mess. Such a good influence your boyfriend was.
Then something magical happened. The smugness left Naeun altogether. She and her minions barely spared you a glance. One day her looks could’ve burned you to ashes, the next it was like you’d never even crossed paths with them. They gave you a wide berth, none of them ever meeting your gaze. This had unnerved you deeply at first. You were waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The restlessness was put to an end that same night as you laid with Dongha. Out of the blue, he asked « You ever heard back from your nemesis and her little puppets ? »
You explained the weird 180 they’d pulled on you and stopped when you got a good look at him. His face a poster child for the metaphorical cat. Only he hadn’t stopped at the canary and had devoured the whole aviary instead.
You hit his arm « Wait. Was it your doing ? »
He tried to act nonchalant about it, which made him appear even more suspicious.
« I can’t believe it ! What did you do to them ? »
Like everything that related to the more violent side of his activities, he didn’t answer, distracting you with a kiss. The kiss led to him pinning you down on the bed, your legs going around his waist. Before long the question faded under his touch.
After that, you’d had all the time you needed to make it through two weeks of intense studying, laser-focused on crushing exam week. Though brutal, you proudly made it out of the last test, mostly unscathed.
Or so you thought.
You handed out your last paper and hightailed it out of the stuffy room, embracing the balmy summer air. The sun looked brighter. The grass, greener. You were content. Dare you say, happy. Life was sweet.
The keyword being : was.
With no impending exam or group project hanging over your head, you called Dongha hoping to see him that same night.
You were giddy at the idea of enjoying your time together guilt-free at last. Now that you weren’t freaked out about your potential academic failure, the withdrawals were finally kicking in.
Hey, boyfriend. What are you up to ?
You crooned into the phone, feeling flirty.
Silence greeted you.
Hey, you there ?
A chuckle sounded through the line.
Yeah. M’busy. You need something ?
The question sounded like a statement. You ignored the barb, tone cheerful.
Busy how ? And yes, in fact, I do. I need you… I miss you too much.
Yeah ? That’s cute.
The flippant comment cooled your excitement some. Eyebrows slamming together, you didn’t get to fully process it before he spoke again.
Listen, I won’t be too available for the coming days. Duty calls. You’re familiar with that I believe.
Oh… Okay. D’you think you can come sleep at my apartment later tonight then ? I don’t mind waiting. I’m done with school and I miss you. In more ways than one.
Nah. Don’t wait up for me.
I know you can’t see me but… I’m pouting real hard right now. How am I supposed to sleep without your help ?
Whatever. You been managing just fine ‘til now.
Mouth agape, the sardonic jab stopped you in your tracks. This was one strike too many.
Everything okay, Dongha ?
Dandy.
Doesn’t feel like it.
Another chuckle.
Fuck. Not now, ____. I need to go. Call you back whenever I’m free.
You opened your mouth to respond. The line went dead.
Guilt settled low in your stomach. As he’d pointed out, you’d kind of been blowing him off for almost a month. It wasn’t your intention, but you went from spending most of your nights in his arms and all of your weekends at the bowling alley, to almost no contact.
In a last attempt to get him out of his funk, you pulled up your ongoing chat and sent him a text.
You : I can leave a key for you behind the broken brick out front if you want.
You : You know, in case you change your mind ?
Read.
You waited a beat for the Typing… bubble to appear on screen.
Nothing.
You sighed. You sure had some groveling to do.
~~~
After the cryptic phone call, you put your pride aside and doubled up on your efforts. Stubborn as he was, several days passed with him still ignoring you, giving no outright reason why.
So you tricked him into coming to your place. This had to stop.
« Talk to me. Please. » You pleaded.
It was easier for him to hide the genuine resentment on the phone than it was in person.
The thing you’ve come to realize with Dongha, is that his constant yapping really is a front. Once you got close to him, it was plain to see that most of what he really thinks doesn’t actually make it out of his mouth.
Fortunately, most of the time his body language gave you the clues you needed to assess his moods. Or perhaps, decoding Seongmok in your spare time had paid off with his best friend as well. Birds of a feather and all.
You thought it through, Dongha obviously liked to have you around. Mostly he seemed to enjoy it when you hung out to perform the most mundane everyday tasks. Your withdrawal might’ve felt a bit like abandonment from his point of view, especially given the complete lack of contact of any kind.
You tried putting into words an apology that would make up for that, hoping you’d at least gotten close to the root of the issue « I know I should’ve made some time for you. I should’ve… at least called you every once in a while. I was so freaked out by these fucking finals. I pulled a ton of all-nighters. Then time flew by and before I knew it I woke up lying on my notes. Then I just repeated the same day over and over. I barely talked to anyone but my fucking books for three weeks… didn’t even go grocery shopping. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you didn’t matter. »
The hurt on his face abated some, his complexion turning a shade darker. Hope lit up in your stomach. This must’ve hit the nail right on the head.
« Way to make me sound fucking needy. I’m telling you I’m fine. » Hand gripping the back of his neck, he looked away.
The words stung more than they should have.
Was the idea so ridiculous ? As the weeks went by, you’d fully integrated him into your routine. You weren’t afraid to say he was important to you. To say that you needed him. The feeling didn’t seem to be reciprocated…
The thoughts warred inside your head. The eternal optimist in you wanted to give him grace. As he’d put it before, Dongha definitely wasn’t the touchy-feely type. He hadn’t had a serious relationship before so these types of reactions were to be expected. You wanted to argue. To get to the bottom of this.
His eyes met yours again, a different type of glint lighting them up. You swallowed the bitter feeling.
The second thing about Dongha ? He was very well-versed in distraction tactics. He didn’t hesitate to use them anytime a conversation was headed in a direction he wasn’t comfortable with. Whether it was to distract you, or himself, you didn’t know. A bit of both, maybe.
He settled fully into the couch cushions, beckoning you over where you stood.
Striding towards him, you didn’t stop until your knee touched his. You had more to say. You were not entirely certain that the issue was resolved. But you missed him too much, his touch was more than welcome. Plus you didn’t want to rub salt in the wound.
So you let him take the lead, content at the opportunity to finally feel him. The warmth of his skin, his scent, the strength of his big hands. He pulled you onto his lap, then kissed you lewdly and your toes curled as you ground on his growing desire. His lips left yours when you moaned, both hands holding your face in place just a breath away.
« I missed you so much baby. I’m sorry. » You barely heard your own voice over your racing heart. The pulsing rhythm accelerated as you took in his serious look.
« Did you ? » Face hard, his gravelly voice rocked through your core « You want to make it up to me sweetheart ? »
You nodded frantically and he let out a short chortle. He swiped his thumb over your bottom lip. « Apologize properly then. »
The request was bold. Almost rude. On purpose. Whatever. You’d kind of deserved it. So you’d spoil him anyway… just this once.
You opened your mouth. His thumb slipped inside.
You maintained eye contact as you sucked on his finger, tongue swirling around it. You let it go with a wet sound and he groaned when you slid down his body, rubbing against him until you landed on your knees right between his legs. You pulled down his pants and his hands tangled in your hair. « Good girl. »
He guided your head as you apologized. Profusely.
The two of you made up for the reste of the evening and throughout the night after that.
At least you believed you did. Perhaps it wasn’t the case…
You woke up the next day to an empty bed. No note, no explanation. Only an eerie silence and the weight of your insecurities.
Come evening, you were an overthinking mess. You’d had time to scrub the whole house clean. Now you were fresh out of the most thorough everything-shower ever, trying to distract yourself from the lack of notifications on your phone. Once again.
You were pacing your room, when he finally texted.
Dongha : Somethin came up. I’ll call you when I can.
You : Oh. Okay
You : Everything alright ?
Dongha : Yeah
Dongha : It’s work.
You : Right. Be careful please
You waited a beat. He reacted to your message with a measly thumbs-up. You sighed. The conversation was obviously finished…
You settled in bed, holding the pillow his head had lain on. Ignoring the uneasy feeling still lingering in your stomach, you smelled the cotton where his cologne clung to the soft material.
Perhaps you two really were good. He did still have obligations towards Baekjin. You tried to relax and put the whole thing behind you.
~~~
You held the phone up to your ear, blood pressure rising higher with each beep.
The automated voice told you to leave a message.
Your hand threatened to crush the device. A second later, it buzzed in your hand.
Dongha : I know I said we’d be done with this shit soon but I can’t make it today either.
The dry text didn’t offer any more detail than that.
You inhaled deeply, actively calming yourself. So he did have his phone with him. And he couldn’t even be bothered to pick up for a short minute. You tried calling him once more. It rang twice before you got sent to voicemail.
Same script, different day.
Dongha : I said I can’t make it rn ____. Pls.
The phone flew out of your hand and onto the bed before you could bury the urge. It bounced off the mattress and landed on the floor with a smack. You closed your eyes, breath shaky. When you picked it up, the thunder-looking crack on the screen glared back at you. Great. You’d certainly send him that bill.
You could count on one hand the number of times he’d actually picked up a call during the past two weeks. You were utterly lost as to how to interpret that.
Dongha really was smarter than anyone gave him credit for. You’d been privy to that on several occasions. Every time you thought you’d figured him out, he switched up on you.
This time was no different. Knowing you, he’d made it a habit for the past two weeks now to send a preemptive text every day. Each message resembled the others, all of them short and barely helpful. But they assured him that if you got mad, he could say he didn’t go AWOL like you complained he’d done in the past.
You sat on the floor next to the bed staring at the text, moisture pouring out of your eyes. This was an easy out, and he knew it.
« I said I can’t make it rn »
Like it should be enough for you.
You were going back home to your family in a few days and you wouldn’t get to see him for two long months. You worried that if you didn’t get the chance to speak to him before that, this could very well be the end of the two of you.
Then again, maybe this really had nothing to do with you and something unfortunate was happening. Whatever he did with Baekjin and the guys, it was dangerous enough to have landed him in the hospital before.
Long before the two of you ever became an official item, he caught onto the fact that it was better not to share any details on his activities with you. The look of horror you’d given him that first night he showed up bloody at your doorstep had jolted an explanation out of him. Shortly enough, he’d realized that while he was accustomed to violence, it wasn’t the case for everyone. Although delivered with obvious mirth on his side, the mere description of the graphic events of the night had been enough for your vibrant skin to turn pale.
The soft pads of your fingers often lingered over the never-healing scabs on his own, rubbing as if it would get them to suddenly fade away. To this day, you worried sick at every bruise often marbling his tan skin.
As a result, it wasn’t rare for him to avoid you for the first few days after a particularly brutal fight.
There had to be a serious reason why he wasn’t picking up. Didn’t want you to see him.
Heartbeat racing, the need to know overwhelmed you.
You navigated the broken screen, pulling up Seongmok’s contact. Your trembling finger hovered over the call option. He definitely could put your mind at ease in a second. He’d already done so several times since that first time at the fair. Surprisingly, he folded quite easily with you, always somehow filling in the blanks when you were truly lost.
You dried your damp hand on your pants, gulping.
You shouldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to him... And it could backfire. Severely. It was one thing to go to your boyfriend’s best friend when you couldn’t reach him at all. It was another to use said best friend as a comfort buddy when things weren’t going great.
But it’s Seongmok, it’s not the same.
You eyed his name.
No. You wouldn’t be the stereotypical desperate girlfriend.
You locked the screen and set the phone down, your throat tight and eyes puffy. Lying on your bed, you sniffed Dongha’s pillow. The smell of laundry detergent replaced his comforting scent. You rolled around and your gaze landed on the huge teddy bear sitting right under your window. You reached out and grabbed it, then settled it in bed right next to you.
Its big body would have to fill the empty space until your boyfriend came back to claim it.
~~~
Three more days went by. You called him. Again.
Call you back when I’m free.
He hung up.
Again.
You’d had enough. You put on a sweatshirt and headed straight to the bowling center. You entered the place, only to find it packed. Some type of celebration taking place.
Scanning the crowd, you zoned in on Dongha sitting at his usual spot, talking animatedly.
He was more than okay by the looks of it.
Seongmok, ever the observant one, spotted you first. The flicker of warmth in his eyes promptly vanished as he got a better look at you. Teeth gritted. Fists closed tight. His eyes widened. Seongje followed his gaze. The slow, gummy smile stretching his mouth pissed you off even more.
Dongha finally noticed his friends’ straying attention. His eyes landed on you and he froze, an obvious curse leaving his lips. The angst of the past few days bubbled up and you lost your cool. You marched towards their table, not stopping until you were halfway bent over it, reaching for him.
He didn’t move. Didn’t say a word.
The smacking sound was so loud, the staff scattered around the neighboring tables oohed. The slap stunned the three of them into silence for a second.
« Two fucking weeks Dongha ? I must really look like a fucking dumbass to you. »
Seongmok and Seongje both turned to him, shamelessly invested in the fight.
Dongha’s whole face reddened, your handprint more and more visible by the second. The set of his shoulders rose and fell with unsteady breaths. His glare settled on you. « Fuck. » He pointed a long finger in your direction menacingly « Try that again. » His next words were venomous « What do you expect ? A play by play of every single one of my goddamn whereabouts ? Can I fucking breathe ? Damn. »
Your face screwed in horror. Both the threat and blatant disregard for your feelings brought your rage to a boiling point.
Seongmok thankfully saw the moment you snapped and acted on instinct. He sprang out of his seat just as you were preparing to climb over the table towards his friend. He did his best to hold you back without touching you inappropriately or hurting you. A mission made more and more difficult as you tried to outmaneuver him and maul your boyfriend. « Or what ? What are you going to do you fucking bastard ? I was worried about you and that’s what the fuck I get ? Sorry my presence is such a burden, let me lighten the load for you. Asshole ! » You picked up a bottle from the neighboring table, throwing it at him as best as you could with Seongmok dragging you back.
The bottle ricocheted and broke on the floor by Dongha’s feet, the liquid staining him. « Fuck ! You crazy bi— » He cut himself off.
His stare followed the two of you. His expression shifted for a split second before hardening completely as Seongmok threw you over his shoulder and carried you out.
The cold air frayed your already overstimulated nerves. You shivered, the memory of what just happened coming back up in a loop. Now that Dongha wasn’t sitting in front of you, the blind rage subsided. The hurt and embarrassment seeped in, replacing the raw feeling.
You rubbed your hands over your arms, and Seongmok studied your face. He frowned at the pained grimace taking residence on it and called your name. You held up a hand, sniffling. The tears flowed freely down your cheeks.
He tried again, his voice more gentle than you’d ever heard.
You dried your face, hands rough, laughing nervously « Don’t bother. I’ll just leave and you lot won’t have to deal with me anymore. » Seongmok tilted his head, eyebrows pulled together tightly. He watched as you lowered your head. Hand hovering for a second, he stopped himself and clenched it at his side. He waited for your breathing to slow down before he answered the hurt statement.
« You know that’s not what anybody wants. We really were… busy for the past two weeks. »
You didn’t react, head still bowed in shame. The vision bothered him, and he insisted « ____. Look at me. »
You did. Now that your vision wasn’t clouded by fury, you truly saw him for the first time tonight. The harsh yellow light of the lamppost emphasized the purplish tint of the wilting bruise on his jaw. You touched a gentle hand to the side of his face « Is this related ? »
He flinched at the contact and carefully pulled your hand away « Yeah. We ran into some… issues. With boss’s boss. And the police. »
You gulped in air, mind running around countless scenarios that could explain even his big frame ending up injured. Either the big boss was really mad, or the police gave them a beating —it wouldn’t be the first time. Either way, it could’ve ended badly.
He shook his head and cut off your panicking « It’s all good now. Hence the celebration. » You looked away, a relieved sigh escaping your lips. All of them seemed to be unharmed at last. You were grateful for that.
He pushed through when he noticed your spirits lifting up a bit « You know how he gets when he feels cornered. Speaks without thinking.»
Your shoulders went up protectively around your neck. « Whatever. I wanna go home. » Your voice was small. He couldn’t tell whether your shaking was due to the breeze on your barely covered arms, or to your agitated state. He did know he couldn’t let you walk all the way home like that.
He took off his jacket and draped it around you « Let me at least call you a cab. »
He waited for the car with you. You inhaled deeply, noticing how much easier it was to breathe with him by your side. In those short minutes, it felt like everything would be alright. Like nothing else could go wrong.
The car pulled up and you handed him his jacket back. You watched as he spoke to the driver, hesitating for a second when he stood in front of you again. His brows lifted, prompting you to say what was on your mind. You cleared your throat and thanked him before climbing into your ride.
Sighing, he watched the car go for a bit.
Seongmok stepped back inside the center, the pungent smell of alcohol lingering as one of the lower-rank guys swept up the mess.
Seongje’s smirk was the first thing he saw « Seongmok you better teach your boy how to treat that one, he might not wake up one day if he continues like that. »
Dongha flipped him off, unfazed. « She left ? »
Seongmok nodded « Called her a cab. »
Dongha exhaled, a lazy hand running down his face « I’ll let her cool down. Stop by tomorrow or something and explain everything. » He paused. He gathered his wits, voice more assured when he spoke next « I know her. She’ll understand. She’s as quick to get angry as she is to forgive.»
Seongmok glanced at him, expression flat « Yeah. Until you cross a line. » He looked away, contemplating « She seems like the type to just up and leave if you do. »
Dongha glanced at him, the weight in his tone didn’t go unnoticed. Perhaps you were more upset than he’d guessed.
Stretching out on the seat, Seongje let out a snicker « We were basically wanted for ten days. Cops. Thugs. The whole package… Why didn’t you just tell her that ? » He gestured vaguely toward their wrecked table and the sticky floor « Could’ve avoided all that. »
His grin widened « Unless that’s actually what you like about her. »
Seongmok threw him a look.
He shrugged, unbothered « What ? I’m certainly not knocking it. I like mine a little feisty too. » He pushed off his seat, his parting words teasing « I get it. I play most of my games in hard mode. More thrill like that. »
Silence settled.
Dongha let out a slow breath, jaw tightening. He had no idea why he couldn’t simply tell you things. Every time he tried to articulate his feelings, the words got stuck somewhere between pride and habit.
Tonight, that might cost him.
~~~
The cab pulled up to your apartment, startling you out of your head. You rifled through your bag, looking for cash to pay. The driver shook his head « It’s ok miss, it’s taken care of. Your friend already paid me earlier. » A flood of warmth enveloped you at Seongmok’s thoughtfulness. You thanked the man and climbed out of the car, making it to your apartment just in time for the first sob to escape.
From that first night you’d met, you knew things would be different with Dongha. You two definitely matched each other’s intensity. Your energies were magnetic. So much so that your collision seemed inevitable. You were embedded so tightly on the one side that it was difficult to step back and get the full picture. The traits that drew you to each other were the same that prevented you from understanding each other most of the time.
When one pulled, the other followed. The highs were so vertiginous they made you light-headed. The lows though… they dragged you through the mud. Whenever you thought you’d scraped the very bottom, you somehow managed to dig the hole deeper.
Enough.
You could deal with his selfishness. With the occasional brash words, the withholding. His boisterous inclination and inability to pretend made up for those. You liked to think the two of you had that in common. And while it was far from perfect, this was what made your relationship real. The honesty had been refreshing.
Which was the reason why tonight hurt so much. You knew you could be a lot to handle at times. Your caring sometimes came off as borderline smothering. You’d grown to care about him, to worry. And he’d let you. Then he’d thrown that in your face… as if your consideration was disproportionate.
Your mind raced. While you actively poured your efforts into reaching him, you told yourself he probably reveled in it, feeding your energy to his ego. All the while, he treated every attempt at basic interaction like an inconvenience. Worse, he’d deceived you. You were sick to your stomach, thinking of how amused he must’ve been watching you come back again and again. Foolishly reaching for the stick that beat you. You felt like a dumbass.
You hurried to the bathroom, turning the water to the highest tolerable warmth before hopping in, cutting off the train wreck that was your current spiral. The hot water stung your skin and you flinched, tears mixing with the spray, straight down the drain.
The distraction was short-lived and you circled back to the memory of your boyfriend’s face twisted in anger.
You didn’t know who to believe. Dongha and his sharp tongue ?
Or perhaps Seongmok ? The guy didn’t seem like the lying type.
Every man is the lying type, honey.
Droplets of water hit the whites of your eyes and you shut them tight. His face came to you. His words echoed in your head, in direct contradiction with your inner monologue —and his own best friend’s words.
What if they really had gone through all that trouble ? You did happen to slap the color off of Dongha’s skin right before his outburst…
If only there were a way to fuse them both. Then maybe this wouldn’t feel so fucking difficult…
The jarring observation burst through the crying, the irony not lost on you. In the first few weeks, the taciturn boy had barely acknowledged your presence. Half a year later though, he turned out to be much better at communicating than his chatty acolyte. Where Dongha fed the thrill you craved, he balanced him perfectly, bringing you the peace you sometimes needed.
You cut off the steamy water, skin prickling in the cold air of your bathroom. You’d barely pulled your pyjamas on when a persistent knocking caught your attention.
« ____. Hey, I know you’re in there. Open up. »
Dongha.
You hadn’t expected that. However, you weren’t sure you were ready to speak to him just yet.
Turning on the TV, you increased the volume to drown out his voice.
He spoke louder « I can hear the TV. Open up, we’re gonna wake the whole neighborhood if we go on. »
You talked to the closed door « I don’t want to talk to you Dongha. Go away. »
« I don’t want to go. You don’t want me to go. Please open up. »
You shook your head. Unbelievable. This guy had the audacity, the gall and the gumption, for sure.
You didn’t answer.
He carried on.
« I shouldn’t have ghosted you like that. I just—there was a lot of shit going on that I can’t talk to you about. You know I can’t. Was stressing me out so I wanted to keep you out of it… Figured I’d avoid a fight if we just didn’t talk. Less opportunity for me to say the wrong shit. »
He waited a beat. His fist pounded on your door again, loud enough to make you jump.
« Come on ! Open up ! You’ve got me pouring my guts out like a fucking loser on your front steps for everyone to hear. Fuck ! »
You growled, opening the door « Yeah ! That doesn’t feel so good, does it ? You got me throwing shit and slapping you like a lunatic for all your friends to see Dongha. We’re nowhere near even. »
His gaze flicked over you : shoulders low, face puffy, eyes downcast and red. He swallowed any comeback that bubbled up to the surface. He’d obviously made you cry. While the sight wasn’t unfamiliar, he wasn’t usually the cause of it. That bothered him. A lot more than he expected.
« I’m sorry. » The words came out like they were the only ones he knew, his shame evident.
You exhaled, gripping the door handle tightly. He took hold of your arm « I’m sorry. I really am. »
Eyes shining with yet another bout of tears, you growled, frustrated. Arm pulling out of his grasp, you roughly swiped at the moisture. « You’re sorry for what ? »
He blew out a breath. « For blowing you off. And for the shit I’ve said tonight. »
You stared, waiting for him to elaborate and he caved « I don’t think of you as a burden. I swear. It’s just… » He ran a rough hand through his hair, the strands sticking out every which way. Frustration grated at him and he continued, defensively, « You came in, mind made up and I didn’t know what to tell you. And then it just... Flew out of my mouth. Fuck ! I don’t even know what to say. I’m not used to all this. Justifying myself. Giving heads up. »
He looked away then back at you « I missed you though… »
You blinked at him and he grasped your damp hand, rubbing it with his thumbs softly.
You pulled it away again and nodded.
« Okay… » you uttered quietly.
He tried a smile. It came out as an uncomfortable grimace. « Can I come in ? »
You stared.
« No. I have to be up early tomorrow. I need to go to sleep now. »
His face sobered entirely « ____. »
You started pulling on the door « I’ll call you tomorrow. »
He put a hand up against it, blocking your retreat.
« Wait you need to be up early for what ? When can I stop by ? I thought you were done with school. Where are you going ? »
« I doubt you’ll be interested. I’ll talk to you tomorrow alright ? » Your quiet tone was clearly off, but he had no idea how to proceed. So he nodded and released his hold.
« Good night Dongha. » This time around, it was your turn to shut him out before he could even answer.
He paced in front of the steps for a minute, then staggered back to where he came from with a last glance at your window, heart aching.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ll hurry my ass up on the next part
There’s already not a lot of engagement with WHC, let alone anything Dongha/Seongmok so I’m not trying to lose the few of you that are interested 😭
I’ll tag all those that interacted with the original post and requests for this story, thanks again for your support 🥹🥰
Hii I love ur work soo much omd💕🤞 I was wondering if you could do a fic of dong ha? He’s sooo underrated and I’ve literally never seen any fics about him, I loved the sorry goes a long way fic about seongje so it’d be so cool if you could make one about dong ha similar to the seongje fic, if not that’s alright! As long as you keep posting I’m good, anyways sending lots of love💕
Hiya darling, first of all thanks for the love I’m using it as fuel to hurry my ass up. I feel like I’ll always be apologizing for taking forever 😂 I try to write my stories conscientiously so it takes me forever to get to where I’m satisfied (I blame the Virgo in me tbh)
I’ve started on this Dongha fic and posted recently ! It’s a story spanning over a year and part 1 was January through May.
I’m working on June to September right now and I’m halfway done ! It’s just way longer than I expected (11K words for now and I’m not done with the edits 🥹)
I’m an angst fan tbh so expect lots of it in the coming parts ^^
I’ll give you a short excerpt under the cut because the few people waiting have been patient enough I fear 😭 so here goes
@dinaradownbad @frxjm I feel like you could be interested in a little preview 😚💞
JUNE
[…]
Seongmok, ever the observant one, spotted you first. The flicker of warmth in his eyes promptly vanished as he got a better look of you. Teeth gritted. Fists closed tight. His eyes widened. Seongje followed his gaze. The slow, gummy smile stretching his mouth pissed you off even more.
Dongha finally noticed his friends’ straying attention. His eyes landed on you and he froze, an obvious curse leaving his lips. The angst of the past few days bubbled up and you lost your cool. You marched towards their table, not stopping until you were bent over the table, reaching for him.
He didn’t move. Didn’t say a word.
The smacking sound was so loud, the staff scattered around the neighboring tables oohed. The slap stunned the three of them silent for a second.
« Two fucking weeks Dongha ? I must really look like a fucking dumbass to you. »
Seongmok and Seongje both turned to him, shamelessly invested in the fight.
Dongha’s whole face reddened, your handprint more and more visible by the second. The set of his shoulders rose and fell with unsteady breaths. His glare settled on you. He pointed a long finger in your direction menacingly « Fuck… Try that again. » His next words were venomous « What do you expect ? A play by play of every single one of my goddamn whereabouts ? Can I fucking breathe ? Damn. »
Your face screwed in horror. Both the threat and blatant disregard for your feelings brought your rage to a boiling point.
Seongmok thankfully saw the moment you snapped and acted on instinct. He sprung out of his seat just as you were preparing to climb over the table towards his friend. He did his best to hold you back without touching you inappropriately or hurting you. A mission made more and more difficult as you tried to outmaneuver him and maul your boyfriend. « Or what ? What are you going to do you fucking bastard ? I was worried about you and that’s what the fuck I get ? Sorry my presence is such a burden, let me lighten the load for you. Asshole ! » You picked up a bottle from the neighboring table, throwing it at him as best as you could with Seongmok dragging you back.
The bottle ricocheted and broke on the floor by Dongha’s feet, the liquid staining him. « Fuck ! You crazy bi- » He cut himself off.
His stare followed the two of you. His expression shifted for a split second before hardening completely as Seongmok threw you over his shoulder and carried you out.
I write adult content and treat grown themes so MDNI (18+). I’m sure I’ll forget to list some triggers but I’ll try my best not to!
(Part. 2)
Genre ~ Fluff, Angst
Summary ~ Reader meets Dongha and Seongmok. Little by little, she’s sucked into their duo, the distinction between the two more and more difficult to make. (AU - characters are aged up, like end of college. The union wasn’t dissolved)
Warnings ~ smoking, cussing, violence, sexual themes
wc ~ 8.8k
Song suggestion : « Won’t waste a minute, of time that we’re living. I won’t waste a day ‘less I’m wasting my days with you. I won’t waste away ‘less I’m wasting away with you. »
MASTERLIST
A/n ~ Reader is referred to as « ____ »
This took a long time ! But finally I figured out my angle so there it is. I made a bold choice of POV for the reader. I tried something new and went with bold and flirty. This is fantasy fiction after all ^^ so that one is for the girlies wishing they were more daring 😘
I will tag all the people that answered to this post. There’ll be two or three more parts to this ! They’re already outlined I just don’t know exactly how I’ll cut the story for now.
As usual, Reblog, like and COMMENT !
enjoy ☺️
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JANUARY
« Five ! Four ! Three ! Two ! One ! HAPPY NEW YEAR ! »
You scanned the murky joint wondering how the hell this was Naeun’s idea of a decent hangout spot. You’d quickly concluded she and her posse were the snobby type. The type of girls who thought every place they entered automatically became exclusive. You skimmed the room once more. The place was anything but posh.
This was definitely not your typical bowling center. Upon arrival, you’d expected to rent the customary clownish pair of shoes. There was none in sight. The screens were barely functional, so you’d had to keep the scores by hand. Then there was the shady ass staff. No uniforms. No logo. No name tags. They barely paid attention to the patrons, too engrossed in games of their own. And you could’ve sworn you’d seen one of them slap some poor guy out front before you entered the spot.
« Seriously, what kind of shady ass place is that ? »
Naeun stilled. Her cold face twirled in your direction, long neck twisting. Her lips curled up in a stiff smile, the eerie arc as fake as her nose. « You don’t know this spot ? That’s where all the cool people hang ____. I forget you’re not from the city sometimes. » She derided. Her three minions tittered right along with her.
Leaving them to fawn at their queen bee’s antics, you headed for an empty table off to the side.
« That’s where all the cool people hang ____. » You mimicked. « Wake me up when you find these cool people you’re talking about. » The sentiment was louder than intended, several heads swung your way. Probably employees the way they seemed offended. Whatever. You grew wary of the disapproving looks tonight. Your head plopped on your folded arms. Why did you even go out ? You had no clue.
Or maybe you did. You’d been sitting at home brooding when you saw the messages in the group chat. You were their most recent addition, all of the girls in there were part of your university’s psychology class. You’d sat next to them on your first day and they’d seemed friendly enough at first. The longer you hung together though, the more the friend group’s rocky ties stood out to you.
You’d debated refusing the invitation. As usual, the optimistic side of you had argued… How bad could it be ? Go out, live a little. It’s New Year’s Eve in a new city and you’ve got an invite. Go on and fly little bird.
« Fuck. Me. » The expletive drew attention from the table right next to yours. The low laughter pulled you out of your head « Gladly babydoll. »
You sat upright, ogling the stranger as boldly as he addressed you. He was tall, even sitting down. Glossy black hair pushed off his smooth forehead. The rosy sweater complimented his tan skin beautifully, the sharp planes of his face hard to ignore. Curiosity stirred, you peered around him, taking in his two friends.
One of them sat across from him, slouched over. Engrossed in what looked like a game on his phone, he didn’t pay the scene any mind.
His other friend sat close to him. This one looked even taller. His strong build jutted just enough for you to get a view of his stony face, his rugged hands clenched into tight fists.
All three of them were quite handsome. Scratch that. They practically had « danger » written across their foreheads. Which, on account of your unhealthy attraction to bad boys, bumped them up to hot as fuck.
Still, you didn’t reveal your attraction. He’d have to do better than this half-assed approach. You motioned to his face « Hmm, not bad… Shame you had to ruin it and open your mouth. » You angled your body back away from him.
His loud guffaw was all the warning you got before he sat in the spot right in front of you. Like clockwork.
« You should be more polite to people when you don’t know who you’re talking to. »
« Like you’re one to talk. » You stifled a smile. « I’m surprised the word polite is even in your vocabulary. And what ? You supposed to be important around here or something ? » You raised a brow in challenge.
He smirked. His half-lidded gaze roamed over you appreciatively « If I said yes, would you let me get you something to drink ? »
You pointed to the bar area behind him « How ? No one’s even manning the bar in this shithole. » He extended a hand « I’m Dongha. » You felt like the Little Red Riding Hood, his wolfish grin all teeth. The allure was strong. Your inner voice sounded again. Go on girl. Hot guy is obviously hitting on you, what’s the worst that could happen anyway ?
Mind made up, you gave in to the side of you that lived for the thrill. The side that heard the warning bells but danced to their melody.
« ____. » You shook his hand, the first contact electric. Instead of letting you go, he stood, pulling you up and right into him. His other hand landed on your hip « Come on ____. Let’s get you that drink. »
His fingers squeezed yours, and in a blur he led you to the top section of the establishment. Big windows spanned the wall, halfway up to the ceiling, giving a view to the alleys downstairs. He greeted a couple of guys sitting in the corner booth before disappearing behind a side door. You peered down to the dark alleys, the higher standpoint of the fluorescent lightings gave an edge to the place. This section made it slightly nicer than you’d previously thought, the change of scenery very welcome. A snicker of derision bubbled up. Naeun might’ve been onto something after all.
Dongha touched your elbow. He gestured for you to sit in the booth, sliding in right next to you. You took in the promised drink, a bottle of gin glinting bright blue. Something else caught your attention though. You nodded at the third glass he’d set down on the table « Will we be having company ? »
On cue, his friend’s hulking frame sank right across from him. His stillness should’ve intimidated you. Enough to look away at least. Yet you couldn’t help but gawk. He met your eyes, unflinching. The moment stretched for what should’ve been an uncomfortably long time. Mouth shut, he spared the both of you of the usual pretenses, no small talk for you tonight. You had an inkling this mountain of a guy was everything but the small talk type. Granted he didn’t look like the talking type, period.
Yet, as the seconds passed, you realized his eyes were surprisingly expressive. Much of what didn’t come out of his mouth shone right there for you to see. You just needed to look hard enough. The first clue was the shameless way he’d sat as if he belonged right here next to his friend. The fact that said friend was trying to get lucky was clearly trivial.
His eyes narrowed, and the challenging glint pulled an amused tug to your lips. He didn’t have to utter a word for you to understand he was daring you to say a thing about him being there. He looked down to your lips, cheeky smirk conveying your unbothered agreement. He could stay. He was nothing short of interesting. Just like that, the rigid line of his back curved into his seat and he looked away. His dull gaze went over his shoulder to the glass panes, whatever the patrons were doing apparently far more entertaining than whatever was happening at your table. You bit your lip, smothering a full on smile at the sudden dismissal.
Dongha poured the drinks, mute. He held up your glass and you shrugged. You clinked your glass with his, then bumped it on the one he’d poured for his friend. Feeling playful, you waited until Dongha took a sip of the liquor to inquire, tone saccharine « So. Dongha. What’s this I hear about you gladly fucking me ? » He coughed, the liquid burning a path down the wrong pipe.
Although he pretended not to react, you saw his friend’s eyes widen slightly before he could conceal it. You were pretty sure the tips of his ears had turned a shade darker than before.
You swiped the liquid on Dongha’s bottom lip, then stuck the finger into your mouth. « What ? Your game is lame, but you’re cute and I’m bored. Truly. I could be convinced. It seems I have nothing better to do. »
He chortled, tongue licking at the last of the drink on his lip « Don’t sound too excited now. I could take you out for a spin if you let me. Show you how good to you I can be. Especially since you’ve asked so nicely. »
You were sitting so close to him, you saw his pupils dilate. You purred, considering his offer theatrically « I could like that yeah. Might make me forget my bitchy friends for a short while. »
You jerked your head to the side « Maybe I can help you forget yours for a moment too… » The urge to tease another crack out of the boulder sitting next to you two overrode any residual shyness you might’ve had. « Or maybe he’ll be joining us then too ? »
You eyed him seductively, crossing your legs. The movement had your skirt sweeping across your knees, and the material slid an inch higher across your thighs. The glance barely lasted a second but you caught it. Satisfaction filled you. « I’ll need your name though sweetheart. If that’s what we’re doing… » You swung your leg, the motion hypnotically delicate.
He stayed mute, the muscle in his jaw twitching. Dongha leaned closer, warm voice in your ear. « Leave Seongmok alone. » He gently chastised.
You put your palms up in surrender « Ok… Seongmok. I’ll let it go. For now. The name suits you by the way. »
~~~
The rest of your night went way better than expected, the conversation growing more interesting by the minute. Time flew by as you got to know the duo.
For the past four months now, you’d been trying to fit in with the crowd at uni. And for the past four months now, you’d had no luck in the matter. You hated that the hometown you’d despised so much and had been eager to leave, was now the object of all your longing. No place like home. Indeed.
Since moving here, you’d hung out with a few people that had seemed nice enough. Turns out most of them really weren’t. They were all so… snooty. Condescending. Fake. You couldn’t stand fake.
Sitting with Dongha and Seongmok was thrilling in the best of ways.
First and foremost, they were easy on the eyes. Very easy. You were a simple girl. A sucker for a pretty face, let alone two of them.
Second, the dynamic between the two was intriguing. Each of them similar in intent but far different in method.
As cliche as it sounded, Dongha was all fire. He was rude in a bold and playful way, with pure disregard to what was conventionally acceptable. The banter was quick paced, his wit delivered with rapid fire. Just like yours. The words poured out of your mouths without visiting your brains at times. The funniest snippets of the evening came from these instances.
Seongmok was solid ice. His impudence resided in the deliberate frost seeping from him. If a topic wasn’t interesting or bothered him, he didn’t dignify it with any type of consideration. His lack of verbal engagement might be repelling to many, and he probably wanted it that way. But not to you. Hours went by, the topics growing more unhinged. You went for what you thought would jar him the most, collecting each micro expression like a badge of honor.
What they both had in common though, was that they were undeniably raw. Both of them were the furthest thing from fake that you could find. It was refreshing.
Throughout the night, several of their friends came and went. The three of you remained right where you were, lost in conversation. Soon enough, you were propped all the way against Dongha. You were fused into each other, the sight barely appropriate for a public setting ; his arm draped behind you holding you close, your hand resting on his thigh, faces sitting inches apart.
Your phone lit up. You grabbed it and checked the time : 2:05 A.M. Your eyebrows jumped up « Damn. Didn’t expect it to be this late. I guess we’ll be on our way soon. » You twisted around, checking the lower ground, searching for your friends. You frowned, when you saw the area almost empty « What the fuck ? »
Seongmok spoke, voice low, gaze on his phone « They left about an hour ago. »
« What a bunch of cunts I swear. » You hissed.
Dongha laughed « They ditched you ? Harsh. »
You hit his arm « It’s not funny ! I can’t believe they’d do that. Seriously, it’s like… girl code or whatever. They could’ve at least texted me or something. What if y’all were a bunch of serial killers ? Not fucking cool. »
You plopped back down.
His smile didn’t dim, thumb smoothing the childish pout on your full lips « Relax. I don’t plan on hurting you. Not unless you ask me to. »
You scrunched your nose « I’ve been telling you all night long baby. Stop with the lines, your game is seriously lacking. It’s a good thing you’re so handsome. And tall. You can just… Be silent and pretty. » You jerked your chin towards Seongmok « Take your friend’s example. »
Dongha put a hand on his heart « Ouch. »
Seongmok surprised you, his statement dry « Maybe you should heed your own advice. » Your head swiveled towards him, you blinked for a second. Then your eyes lit up, your eyebrows jumping theatrically high « So you think I’m pretty ? » You pointed to him, triumphant.
He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. His strongest reaction yet. He watched the elegant column of your throat as you tilted your head back in a carefree laugh. His Adam’s apple bobbed with his swallow.
« You’re funny Seongmok. Truly. » You sniggered.
You sobered quickly « How am I going to go home all on my own though… » You gave a sidelong glance to Dongha, ready to make it to the even funnier part of the night « If only I had someone big and strong to protect me on the way. » You dragged a lazy finger from his collar to the tight lines of his abs and he finally took the hint.
« I’ll drop you off babydoll. I’ll even do my best to keep my promise. Make you forget your friends for a little while. Deal ? » He extended a hand once again. You glanced down to it then back at him, fixated on his lips, voice sultry « Deal. Why don’t we kiss on it ? »
You took hold of his face and pecked him on the lips. Then you stood and pulled on his hand gently. He followed and waved goodbye to the remaining of his friends scattered around the area.
Seongmok watched the two of you walk away and you turned to him one last time. You winked sassily before disappearing down the stairs.
He finally relaxed, kicking back into the cushion. Jaw tight, his gaze followed the two of you through the glass as you vanished into the night.
~~~
One heated cab ride, and three mind-numbing orgasms later, you laid comfortably in your bed. Head propped up on a pillow, knees pulled up. Your feet tapped rhythmically, while you peeled a tangerine with quick, efficient moves.
« You’re very weird. » You turned to Dongha. His big body looked out of place, lost in the frumpy pink comforter. The vision had you giggling for a second, your lady bits still tingling from the thorough lovemaking.
« Seriously ____. It’s… » He checked the clock on your nightstand « Fuck. 4:13 in the goddamn morning. Won’t you have trouble sleeping or something ? Thing’s full of vitamin C. »
You shrugged « I worked up an appetite. Sue me. As for sleep, I think I’ll be alright. You made sure of that. » The filthy innuendo pulled a smirk out of him. His warm hand landed on the thin sheet covering your stomach. He chuckled, then turned his hand, palm up.
You snarled at it like it offended you « What ? Now you want some of my tangerines ? Nuh-uh. » You leaned your arm back and away from him.
He grabbed your waist and pulled you to him easily « I want more than that from you beautiful, but I’ll settle for that. I was trying to be respectful because it looked like you struggled walking to the kitchen on your own. »
You crammed a slice right into his mouth, clamping his jaw shut « Here, if it’ll get you to shut up, I’ll indulge you. » He hummed his amusement, slowly chewing as your returned to staring at your ceiling.
His hot breath blew on your ear and he teased « That’s not what you were saying earlier… ‘Say you love me babe.’ » His high pitched portrayal drew a gasp out of you. Your hand clamped over his mouth, the snicker vibrating against your palm « Oh my gosh, shut up. »
A twinkling melody made both of you pause « Who’d call you at such an ungodly hour ? Hey. D’you have a girlfriend I don’t know about ? » Your face scrambled in disgust at the thought. He addressed the caller, ignoring you « Seongmok. »
You huffed, the relief instant. Your mumble was barely hidden « Of course. »
You happily munched on the juicy fruit while he finished his conversation. He clicked the call shut and left the bed, pulling on his clothes.
« Wow. That urgent ? Do you guys like, never sleep ? » You raised a brow.
He smirked « Yeah. I know you love me already, but I have business to handle babydoll. »
You pouted « I was hoping I could dig one last orgasm out of you at some point during the night… Or two. Or four. »
He leaned over and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek « I gotta go. Told you I was important earlier. You didn’t want to believe me. »
You sighed, arms crossed « I guess. Go then. Bastard. »
He tsked « Don’t be mad. »
« Too late. » He pecked your pouted lips and you leaned back dramatically.
« Brat. »
He was at the door when he saw the notepad on your desk. He scribbled his number, pointing to the paper « Give me a call. I’ll make it up to you. Have you seeing stars whenever you want. »
You made it out of bed, the sheet sliding off of you revealing your bare chest and legs. He looked down to your almost naked form, tongue peeking out. You crossed the room to him until your toes almost touched. You craned your neck and kissed a path from his jaw to his ear « Whatever. I’m not calling you. Ask Seongmok if he wants to see stars. »
He shrugged, squeezing the soft skin of your hips one last time « Your loss. »
You stared at the characters on the paper, the sound of the front door echoing in the quiet room. You were so calling him back…
FEBRUARY
Seongmok shifted in his seat, the cushion hard under him. He took in the empty seats yet again and clenched his hands, short nails digging into his palms. He pulled out his phone once more browsing through his chat with Dongha.
8:38 A.M : I’m not home, fell asleep here yesterday. Go ahead I’ll meet you there
9:04 A.M : omw
He checked the time next, leg bouncing. Half an hour had gone by since his text.
Seongje waltzed in and stopped right next to him « Alright Luigi, where’s Mario ? » Seongmok threw him a dry look, then fetched a cigarette and held the pack out to him. Perhaps it’ll keep his mouth too occupied to ask questions he had no business asking.
As expected, Seongje took the bait, stretching out on the shiny bench. He blew his smoke out towards the ceiling, before turning to Seongmok and holding out his lighter « Wait. Are you doing that thing where you don’t answer because you don’t want to ? Or is it that you don’t know ? » he teased, face smug.
« I do know. » He corrected sharply and shoved the lighter back at Seongje.
« Right. » He grasped it and nodded, lips pursed, eyebrows going up « So, I guess he’s with that girl then. Yet again. »
Seongmok shot him another dry look.
Obviously.
Seongje whistled « Damn. What are they ? Fucking rabbits ? »
« What ? Jealous ? » Both of them turned towards the entrance. Seongmok’s leg stilled. Dongha stood there, a shit-eating grin on his face.
« More like impressed. » Seongje pointed to their grim-faced friend « Didn’t think you could commit to anyone other than this one for more than three days. But here we are. One hell of a streak you’ve got going on. »
« Fuck off. » He settled right next to Seongmok, shrugging. « She’s fun. »
« Yeah, I bet she is. Of course, you would say that. She’s basically you with titties. Just like you to go ahead and fall for yourself. »
Dongha flipped him off.
Baekjin arrived then, gesturing for them to follow. Seongje pulled himself up, his parting words taunting « Next thing you know she’ll have Seongmok talking up a storm. »
Seongmok stood, gaze hard.
Dongha shook his head at his friend « He’s not worth it man. You know he loves to get a rise out of you. » He patted Seongmok’s shoulder, then fell in step behind the group.
Seongmok stayed rooted in place, watching the three of them go.
There’d been girls throughout the years. None lasted longer than from Friday to the next Sunday though. Fun. Casual. A simple meeting of needs. So, naturally, they’d thought you were a temporary distraction. But as the days went by, a new routine came to be. They owned Dongha’s days and you kept him busy most nights. Nights were quickly bleeding into early mornings. And a few slow evenings, where you’d tagged along for a few drinks and games.
The other union guys seemed to like you. Unsurprisingly. How could they not ? You really were a softer, prettier version of his best-friend. You could definitely charm a room.
So he’d have to come to terms with it. As Seongje pointed out, it was becoming clear that you weren’t go anywhere anytime soon. He’d have to adapt.
He took a settling breath. A moment later he joined them, closing the door behind him.
MARCH
You hadn’t planned on going out tonight. Your long week had been eventful enough to tide you over for the weekend. Then Dongha happened.
The phone rang and you smiled when you saw his name on the tiny screen.
What are you doing tonight babydoll ?
You rolled your eyes at the corny pet name.
Nothing.
Good. Come and see me.
No, I meant, I’m literally doing nothing babe. That’s the plan.
You heaved a deep breath.
Oh, come on ! I haven’t seen you all week.
He paused.
Wait. You on your period or something ?
He speculated, comically suspicious. Your snort was loud.
Dongha. I swear…
Come on then. It’ll be fun.
You could hear his big smile through the phone, your resolve slowly breaking. His friends were surprisingly easy to hang out with. Perhaps they’d distract you from the gruesome five days you just made it through.
Taking your silence as a cue, he used his last card to lure you in.
You know, it’s Seongmok’s birthday.
You perked up at this
Is it ? What do you guys have planned ?
Nothing. We’ll hang out at the bowling alley for a bit.
You huffed.
Nothing ?! Dongha. What the fuck ? Do you at least have a little something to give him ?
No I don’t. Do we look like the fuzzy feely type ?
He exclaimed, appalled.
You groaned.
See ? That’s why having female friends is so important. That’s so sad. I swear.
So come then. You can bring him a little something. Just tell me how much it cost, I’ll send you the money. He’ll have something for his birthday and I’ll have you right here with me. Win-win.
You considered it for a second. Everyone deserved a little kindness for their birthday. Seongmok clearly wouldn’t get that if you didn’t come. You also wanted to wish him a happy birthday in person. And… It didn’t hurt that you’d get to see Dongha after covertly missing him for most of the week.
You hummed your approval and Dongha hooted. You rolled your eyes again, grateful for his theatrics. His good mood was contagious. You sprung up, pacing your living room
So. What should we gift him ?
Don’t know. Don’t care. Be there at like… Eight. Okay ?
Dongha—
The loud beep sounded in your ear and the call disconnected.
Unbelievable.
You pulled up a little before 9 P.M. greeting some of the staff you now knew with small a wave. The section where the guys often hung was empty and you settled down quickly. Great, it gave you time to arrange the little gift neatly.
It had taken you so long to settle on what to buy. What do you offer the guy who pays attention to everything but never opens up ?
In the short months since that New Year’s party, you’d spent as much time alone with Dongha in your room, as the two of you did with Seongmok. The two of them spent even more time alone together. You liked to joke around that Dongha split his time between lover and mistress. Only you weren’t all too sure which was whom. Both of you were painfully aware of each other’s presence, his observant eyes never shying away from your inquisitive ones.
In truth, you found it intriguing to see the way Dongha naturally communicated with Seongmok. You saw a careful side of him that didn’t come out when it was simply the two of you. You liked it very much.
In turn, it was funny seeing Seongmok’s icy exterior melt only for his friend. The walls going down temporarily.
The more you hung together though, the more obvious it became to you that his emotions were really out there for plenty to see. You just had to scrutinize him as thoroughly as he was doing everyone else. So you’d studied him. A lot.
And as you were getting ready, the idea had hit you.
« What’s in there ? This for me ? » You looked up to find some guy you didn’t know slide next to you, uninvited. Your smile was stiff, eyebrows slamming down. You held your hands up, your sugary tone obviously sarcastic « Yeah, sure. By all means. Just sit. »
The guy unfortunately didn’t know how to take a hint. He leaned way too close for comfort, arm perched behind you « What’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone in this place ? »
His audacity pulled an amused smile out of you. You zoned in on his arm around you then back on him, debating your next move. A black eye would look great on his stupid face.
« She’s not alone you dumb fuck. » Dongha gripped the guy by his jacket, pulling him to his feet. He sent him stumbling behind him, the guy landing straight in front of Seongmok. The single glower from him sent him cowering away.
Dongha bent down to your level, the scowl barely credible « Who the fuck was that ? »
« Why ? Are you jealous ? » Dongha’s nose flared, eyes narrowing when the corner of your lips tipped up defiantly « Jealousy is a boyfriend’s privilege babe. It does look good on you though. »
He cupped your chin, tipping your head up « What if I say I don’t want other guys around you ? »
His face was inches away from yours. You took advantage of the position and pecked his lips « Again. I say that’s a boyfriend privilege. All you have to do is say you want that. And mean it. »
He puffed and sat, one hand on your thigh « Scoot over. Girlfriend. » He nodded towards the corner of the booth then jerked his head towards where Seongmok still stood. You peeked at the star of the day. His attention was riveted on your thigh where his friend’s hand landed. His eyes quickly averted, making their way up to yours. You wiggled to the side, wordlessly making space for him.
Once he was settled, you pushed the glittery bright pink gift bag towards him, practically bouncing in your seat.
He eyed it for a bit.
« What’s that ? »
« Happy birthday ! » You clasped your hands, your smile stretching from ear to ear « I love birthdays. »
He looked back down to the gift, a dozen feelings flashing through his gaze. He made no move to touch it and you sighed. You pulled the little bag back to you, rifling through it you grumbled « It’s not a fucking bomb Seongmok. Here. Damn. »
You fished out the little square lighter, the golden material glinting under the yellow-green lighting.
« I don’t have a lighter. » He mused.
You nodded vigorously, a single finger lifting, expression smug « You didn’t ! Now you do. »
He looked up at you, his stare lingering.
After a full minute you cleared your throat « I noticed you keep relying on others when you want to light one up. It’s a Zippo. I felt like it was ironic you know. It’s very… 90s gangster. » You bit your lip, suddenly unsure. A wave of heat crept up your back at the thought of him not liking the gift. You pushed through, burying your disappointment « Anyway, I don’t know. I felt like you’d like it. Or at least, like it’d be useful. It’s rechargeable and I put a bottle of lighter fluid in the bag… » You waved a hand « I— If you don’t like it— »
He spoke, cutting your tirade short « Thank you. » He pulled out his cigarettes and lit one up. He shoved the gift into his jacket pocket, his hand lingering there for a moment.
« No problem. » Dongha winked at you and your dim smile lit up. You’d been right to go out after all.
APRIL
Your shoes crunched on the uneven ground as you marched around the fair. Dongha dragged his feet behind you, Seongmok matching his pace. This was the type of activity Dongha was usually fond of, so you were startled by his lack of engagement upon arrival. Both of them had looked on edge, combing the area for God knew what.
You’d tried to distract Dongha. You figured he’d lighten up after a while, his frustration normally quick to fade. Unfortunately he’d flicked away each and every olive branch you’d extended, bitterness lingering around him like a thick fog.
So you tried to catch Seongmok’s eye several times but he’d steeled his gaze, the sturdy set of his shoulders ramrod straight. He was even tenser than usual, obviously not keen on sharing what bug had crawled up both their asses.
It had to be union related you guessed. Whatever. You stayed far away from their business. So you reined in your own temper and decided you wouldn’t let either of their attitudes sour your mood.
You almost walked past a dart shooting stand, when you noticed the gigantic light brown bear hanging on the top shelf. You halted and Dongha bumped into you distractedly « Ow ! Yo ____, what the fuck ? Come on let’s get out of here. Seeing all these people walking around is giving me a headache. »
Seongmok followed your gaze, still focused on the bear.
You whined « We’ve barely been here an hour. Haven’t even done the full tour of the fair. One last game ? » You gripped his jacket seductively « Be a good boyfriend and win me something here ? » You nodded to the dart stand.
He rolled his eyes and you let him go, shoulders sagging « Oh. I get it. You can’t aim for shit, right ? It’s ok then… » The challenge rose in his eyes at the taunt. He stomped towards the stand and you smiled triumphantly.
He tried. Twice. And twice he was close to the great prize, missing the third balloon in the last throw « This is obviously rigged. I’m done. »
You rushed him, hands clasped « No ! Dongha please. I can’t aim and I really want this teddy bear. I told you how they remind me of my— »
He cut you off, voice rising « And I really want to get the fuck out of here ! How is that ? Fuck ____. You’re not nine anymore, you’ll get over it. »
You gulped, your round eyes growing wetter by the second. The sharp inhale emphasized the sting in your chest. This was the last straw. You quickly buried the feeling, heat rising to your face. « Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to Dongha ? You on your period or something ? » You mocked in return.
Seongmok’s attention veered between the two of you, assessing the situation. It looked like it could go awry at any moment. You squared off, standing toe to toe. He’d never seen you so rigid, your fists clenched, chest quaking with the force of your breaths. Dongha’s face was red, his teeth visibly grinding.
He put an arm against his friend’s chest, steering him back an inch. Dongha stepped back, his grin bitter « Whatever. I’ll be right outside. » He snarled, addressing Seongmok, purposefully dismissing you. You side-eyed him as he shuffled away, stunned by the venom of his words.
Seongmok sighed and took Dongha’s place at the stand, paying the fee. You watched, mouth agape as he popped each balloon with expert precision, taking his time on the last one as it seesawed from left to right. It finally burst and you let out a screech, people cheering around the two of you. You launched into a victorious dance, your ire replaced by genuine amazement. He shook his head, a reluctant chortle making its way out. He turned towards the stand manager, pointing to the bear.
He handed it to you once it was freed from its spot but didn’t release it when you pulled.
He hesitated « We have a lot going on these days. He’ll calm down once this all blows over. » he admitted, apologetic. Which was unjustified. He hadn’t done anything wrong.
On the contrary, he brought you the slight relief you’d needed for the past week. You hadn’t seen your boyfriend in a short while so you’d tried to call. He barely answered the phone, and when he did, he seemed eager to hang up. So you’d started wondering if this was all too much, too fast for Dongha. Whether he’d started seeing you as a burden, the initial excitement gone.
You nodded and he released the gift. You squeezed it « Thank you. » You met his eyes, making sure to convey that the words were not only for the bear but the explanation too. He bobbed his head once, silently heeding your gratitude.
Dongha watched the three of you emerge from the fair, his head shaking at the oversized companion dangling from your arm. You spotted him and immediately, your expression morphed into one of overt smugness. He narrowed his eyes as you sashayed past him like he wasn’t even there, your sweet perfume whooshing into his nose. You spun on your heels and your glares crossed « I’ll hurry so you can be in bed as quickly as possible princess. » You cajoled, baiting him.
His eyes brushed over you, full of heat. Annoyance and attraction blended as he took in the enticing curve of your back.
He waited for his friend to catch up to him and they fell in step behind you « You just had to go ahead and get her the stupid bear ? Way to make her even more of a spoiled brat than she already is. I’ll let you handle her next tantrum. » You swung around and stuck your tongue out at him.
« You’re really asking for it today, aren’t you ? Walking a thin fucking line. » He crowed.
« Let’s get you fed. Perhaps you’ll be less fussy when you’re not hangry and dehydrated. You big baby. » He fake-growled menacingly and started after you. You jumped, the bear slowing you down. You yelped when Dongha swept you off your feet, peppering your neck with kisses.
MAY
Unknown number : Seongmok ?
Seongmok frowned at the text.
Seongmok : Who’s that ?
Unknown number : ____
He blinked and turned towards Dongha, showing him the phone. Dongha cupped his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut.
Another one of your texts came through.
You : Is Dongha with you ? Can’t reach him
Dongha rolled his eyes « Don’t answer. »
He pocketed the device. It buzzed against his thigh. Then buzzed again. And again.
His leg bounced, he fetched a cigarette. Pulling out the golden Zippo, he flicked it open with practiced ease and heaved a conflicted breath. He took the phone out of his pocket, checking what you had to say.
You : he is isn’t he ?
You : answer me please ?
You : he told you not to text back right ?
You : DONGHA
You : DONGHA FICK
You : Fucking bastard. Tell him I said fuck you. He better not try and contact me again I won’t fucking answer.
You : Seongmok please ??? It’s important
Seongmok tapped Dongha on the shoulder showing him the thread. Dongha laughed « Seriously, just block her. Or mute her or something. She’ll get over it. »
Seongmok frowned, staring at the screen « You sure it’s not serious ? »
Dongha pursed his lips « Trust me, I fucking know her. She’s in need of attention most likely. I’ll call her later or something. »
The phone started ringing and Dongha gave him a dubious look, his shoulder lifting « If you answer that, you deal with it. »
He clicked the green button, waiting for you to speak. Your voice came through, muffled. His features darkened when a sob tore from your chest.
What happened ____ ?
Seongmok ? I need help…
Your explanation got lost in the panic, words jumbled with your crying.
____. Calm down please. Breathe.
He listened intently, brows tight as you hiccuped, the rough exhales subsiding slowly. Once you cooled down enough, he put you on speaker for Dongha to hear.
Good. Are you hurt ?
He coaxed.
No…
Your small voice reassured him at once.
Dongha blew out an exasperated breath and made a told you so gesture. Seongmok ignored him.
Good. What is it ?
These fucking cunts. I swear.
Your voice trembled, tears threatening to start up again. You swallowed them quickly.
This group from my class. Um, the girls I came with on New Year’s ? I was grouped up with two of them and two other guys for this project. I practically made the whole paper and at the last minute they ditched my name from the collaborator’s list. Now I’m failing psych and it’s my major ! I asked them to explain to the professor and they gave me some bullshit excuse. They won’t risk it they said !
Your voice was irate, betraying how truly agitated the whole situation made you.
« Told you she was being dramatic… »
Seongmok widened his eyes at his friend. Hopefully, the mumble was low enough for you not to catch it.
Dramatic ?! That’s my academic career we’re talking about you fucking bastard. I thought my boyfriend would give a fuck. But apparently it’s too damn much to ask from you.
Seongmok rubbed his temples.
Calm down. Both of you. Focus. What are their names ? The two guys ? We’ll handle it.
Silence.
Really ?
You sounded so hopeful that he didn’t think about it twice or check with Dongha as he answered.
Yes. Really. Send their names. Do you have a photo of them ?
He’d go alone if he had to. What could two preppy cowards do against him.
You sniffled.
I guess I could find one on instagram or something…
He nodded.
Ok. Send them.
Ok…
You exhaled, your microphone crackling.
He could tell you wanted to say something so he waited a beat. Nothing came.
What is it ____?
It’s just… What are you guys going to do ?
Dongha snatched the phone
The hell d’you think we gonna do ? You called us. Don’t play dumb. And you better not act all holier-than-thou about it either.
Don’t you fucking talk to me. You should be ashamed Dongha. Your girlfriend needs help and you don’t even fucking care.
His face reddened in anger
We said we’re handling it did we not ?!
Yeah. Thank God for fucking Seongmok. Maybe I should be dating him ! Don’t even know what I’m bothering with you for…
Dongha’s strident guffaw sounded wrong even to Seongmok. He clapped his friend on the shoulder
Maybe. Good luck juggling her three mental breakdowns a day man.
FUCK YOU ! You—
Dongha disconnected the call and handed the phone back.
Seongmok watched him spring from his seat, teeth clamped on his lip.
The phone buzzed in his hand.
You : *2 attachments.*
You gave him their details.
Just as he was leaving the conversation, a notification popped up.
You : Thank you. Truly.
He crushed his cigarette and stood.
Dongha paced « Let’s go beat some assholes up. We’ll make sure they learn not to fuck with her again. »
~~~
You woke up the following Monday done with your day before it even started. You brushed your teeth until your gums bled, scrubbed your face raw, and got ready for the day.
All week-end, you’d obsessed over the petty girls and their lackeys. Dongha had avoided you. Rightfully so. You didn’t reach out either, your anger at his behavior wouldn’t lead to any type of constructive conversation.
Boosted by the built up rage, you stalked through campus to your psych class, determined. You had to do something. You’d write a whole damn new essay on your own if that’s what it took. After all, you’d already done so.
You sat in the middle row of the amphitheater, watching out for the traitors’ arrival. Right before the last bell rang, the group of queen bees made their arrival, Naeun at the helm, her expression way less triumphant than you expected.
The guys were nowhere to be seen. It took the end of the lecture for you to spot them, sitting at the far back of the room, eyes already on you. They sat hunched over their desks, sweatshirts zipped all the way up, hoods covering half of their faces. Both quickly averted their eyes when you looked at them. You scoffed, turning back around. Cowards.
The bell startled you. You’d prepared your whole spiel and rehearsed it. So you took a fortifying breath. Ready or not, it was time to go and convince your professor to give you a chance. Before you made it out of the aisle, two hooded figures rushed past you reaching the professor’s desk in record time. You gaped and hurried down the steps catching up to them. When he saw you, your professor exclaimed « Ah, ____ . Sorry for the mix-up, apparently there was a mistake with the thesis you guys handed over. Your name was missing. I’ve corrected that and logged it into the system, please check and confirm that the 0 has disappeared on the university’s website. Just send me an email if it’s still there. » He turned to your classmates « Please guys be mindful of things like that next time. It’ll avoid the mini heart attack for your colleagues. » With that, he exited the room, leaving the three of you alone.
They still wouldn’t meet your gaze. You frowned at the one on your left and boldly pulled his hood away from his cheek. He jumped back, eyes aghast. You winced at the dark bruise spreading from the corner of his jaw up to his temple. Droplets ran down the side of his face and a jittery hand tugged the material back over his face. « We’re sorry… » He croaked. Then they retreated, hands shoved deep inside their pockets, a slight limp in both of their steps.
You stumbled out of class, dazed. Just like that, your problem vanished. It warmed your heart. Without thinking you pulled out your phone, looking for the contact. You called and it beeped twice before you heard the gruff voice.
Yeah ?
Seongmok-a… Thank you.
Hmm. Is it all good now ?
You let out a relieved titter.
Yeah. Like it never even happened.
Great.
Silence lingered for a moment longer.
If there’s nothing else…
No, of course, yeah. I’ll let you go. Thanks. Really.
He hummed.
I wasn’t on my own you know.
You sighed.
Yeah… I know… Thank you.
The call ended and you stared at your screen for a second. You shoved it in your bag, going about your day, a goofy smile printed on your face. This was going to be a better day than what you’d anticipated. And it was. Several times you hesitated, but you didn’t call your boyfriend. You weren’t ready to let him out of his misery just yet.
You went straight home after your last class, ready to nap the rest of the day away. You stopped short, not expecting the sight awaiting for you. Dongha lounged on your front steps, phone in hand. He looked up, mischievous smirk in place when he saw you standing in front of him. He stood up looming over you. You unlocked your apartment, eyes rolling. You pushed in and let the door swing almost shut. It hit him on the side, the thumping sound pulled a tiny smile out of you.
« Ow. Thought I’d get a warmer welcome. You know… Being your knight in shining armor and everything. »
You huffed « You’ve got some damn nerve. You’re inside. That’s already a lot. »
He tilted his head and swaggered close, taking hold of your waist « What ? Everything went back to normal no ? You’re still a little genius with straight As in psych. And I’m still your handsome and bad ass boyfriend. Balance restored. » He pointed back and forth between the two of you.
You raised a brow « Yeah. After I literally begged another guy for help Dongha. »
He lolled his head back, lips puckering « Oh whatever. It’s Seongmok, what does it change ? He won’t hold it over you. »
« Okay, well it’s the principle of it all ! » You scolded. You pulled away from his grasp and sat on your kitchen counter, arms crossed. Dongha mirrored you, leaning against the high table in front of you. You swiftly realized you went about it wrong. You were too similar, too stubborn. You wouldn’t get through to him like that.
« I wasn’t alone you know. »
Seongmok’s words came back and you closed your eyes. He did help you after all. So you’d meet him halfway. You inhaled deeply and uncrossed your arms, willfully relaxing your body. You took a page from his friend’s book and stared into your boyfriend’s eyes, demeanor stoic. Doing your best to rule the emotions out of your words. « Dongha. I know it looks like I’m being overly dramatic sometimes. » His eyebrows went up. You frowned, annoyed « Ok. Often times. And I don’t think I harass you when you dismiss the trivial things. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have real issues too… and It would be nice to know my boyfriend listens to me when that’s the case. My education. My family. Those are important topics to me. Do you understand that ? »
He swallowed, uncrossing his arms. Blowing out a deep breath, he came closer to you until he stood between your dangling legs « I know that. I get that I should’ve heard you out, ok ? I wasn’t going to ignore you all weekend long. You called at a bad time so I didn’t answer. Doesn’t mean I was never calling you back sweetheart. You just have to learn a bit of patience, that’s all. »
You looked away. He did have a point « Ok, yeah. But— »
He cut you off, head tilting « It is handled isn’t it ? So what’s the matter ? I’m busy too, you know. I won’t be available 24/7. You need to understand this too. »
The knot in your throat remained as you stared into his eyes. Something about the whole situation still bugged you and there was so much you wanted to say. You refrained, worried the words would come out wrong. You weren’t even sure what exactly was still bothering you.
Your silence pushed him to add « I do care. I do listen when you talk. Maybe the details are a bit… murky from time to time, but I get the idea. And if you want my two cents, you should corner that brat. Goeun or… Yaeun or whatever. You should corner her and introduce your fist to her fake-ass nose. I know you can give a mean slap, remember ? »
You chortled, surprised. He relished in the reaction, and took hold of your wrists, fake-slapping his own face. You giggled, sliding your hands over his face gently, down to his neck and chest. « We don’t know that her nose is fake. It’s just a very likely theory. » You stopped at his belt, pulling him to you. You murmured against his lips « Thanks for your input though. I’ll take it into consideration. »
He nodded his approval. Then he grabbed your thighs, throwing you over his shoulder and to your bedroom where he apologized thoroughly. You did end up napping the evening away.
Dongha arrived at Daesung motors, an extra pep in his step, the megawatt smile drawing an eyeroll from Seongje « Finally out the doghouse huh ? Seongmok save your ass again ? » Seongmok shook his head at the comment, looking up from the half-filled registers.
Dongha tsked « Amongst other things. » he settled on the couch, pulling out his phone. He pulled up his and Seongmok’s chat, contemplating Naeun’s picture, thinking up a plan for eventual retaliation. They knew bullies. Hell, they bullied for a living. She wouldn’t stop there. And they’d make sure she thought twice before crossing the line with you.
hiii lovely!! I absolutely adore ur ficss, i'd like to request a dongha fic, i dont have anything super specific in mind, maybe something similar to the "sorry goes a long way" fic u made? <33
Hiii love ! Thanks for the kind words :)
It’s actually lined up I’m working on it ! I planned a short fic at first but my overworking brain got in the way and it turned into a long piece haha
Life has also been lifing lately so I’m going at a snail’s pace but I’m almost done lining up the plot 🥰
It’s actually going to be similar to this post I made a short while back and I’ll release it in several parts so it doesn’t take too long (well, longer than it is taking already 😭) !
I’ll tag the people who liked the post or commented so don’t hesitate if you feel comfortable to do so 💗
I write adult content and treat grown themes so MDNI (18+). I’m sure I’ll forget to list some triggers but I’ll try my best not to do so!
Part. 2
Genre ~ Angst
Summary ~ Someone tries to flirt with girlfriend!reader and the evening takes a turn for the worse. Plot is set in AU where all the guys and reader are a bit older, towards the end of uni.
Warnings ~ smoking, cussing, violence, sexual themes, power imbalance, jealousy, toxic dynamic
wc ~ 4k
Song suggestion : « Damn right, we take turns being wrong. I get real accountable when I’m alone. I get real about it all when I’m alone. It’s so crazy missing you when I get on… »
A/n ~ Reader is referred to as « ____ »
English is not my first language so pleaaase bare with me 🙏🏾
No smut yet (I know… I’m being a tease in the tags) BUT I have 2 other parts already halfway written. I’ll drop them if this one gets engagement, hopefully this’ll encourage you to like and especially comment !
This is my first ever published work so feedback will be greatly appreciated 🩵
MASTERLIST
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a typical Friday night, you were hanging out with Seongje and he had to meet the guys at the bowling to sort out some small union bullshit.
The day had been long and you didn’t feel like hearing whatever violence fueled, power hungry moves he had to debate with Dongha and Seongmok. So you went on your own way.
A group was sprawled out over the three central aisles, loudly immersed in some sort of competition. You stood watching, lazily leaning against the bar section a bit far off, lost in your own thoughts.
It was a simple evening until one of the guys from the group went to fetch a drink. Instead of returning to his friends, he scratched his head and hovered near you, obviously intrigued. You weren’t paying attention until he settled leaning the same way as you just a foot away.
You finally noticed him, your quick glance paired with an absentminded smile. Your brain activated autopilot to withstand the small headache forming in the front of your skull, and triggered the slight curve of your lips. More so as a social reflex than to convey genuine openness.
The stranger, however, mistook the tiny interaction for an invitation. His smile lingered and he turned towards you, even though the gesture only lasted half a second before you looked forward again, mind wandering.
That’s what started it all… Seongje registered you were not alone anymore from the corner of his eye. His fingers tensed enough for Dongha and Seongmok to look over then give each other a look, silently confirming they each noted the mood shift. Dongha shook his head and leaned back in his chair.
« Here we go again… » Seongmok muttered under his breath, mimicking his friend.
Seongje’s fingers started ticking, his nose and mouth twitching as he was now full on staring at the scene. He didn’t bother pretending anymore to be listening to whatever they were supposed to be discussing.
Why was that asshole hovering around you ? That bothered him.
More importantly, why did you not yet tell him to fuck off ? That bothered him more.
His anger rose quick and burning as he watched, pulling on his cigarette like a madman. Still, like a tiger watching his prey, he waited to see how far you’d let that man go before he had to pounce.
Oblivious to Seongje’s growing agitation, you stayed planted right where you were, your gaze settled on a random empty track, lost in a daydream. The background noises all blended together in a nauseating overstimulating mess, when movement caught your eye to your right.
You looked up to find the stranger from earlier, surprised to see him there still. He seemed to have been talking to you for a short while and you frowned with a confused and slightly apologetic look « huh? »
« Ganghak ? » You arched a brow in further confusion at the mention of your boyfriend’s uni, silently prompting him to elaborate or repeat whatever he was saying to you.
He turned to face you fully and put a finger on Seongje’s blazer draped across your shoulder, touching the emblem where it sat against your collar bone « You’re going to Ganghak uni ? I’ve got a cousin going there as well. » He smiled pointing his thumb at a figure near the center aisle.
You looked down to the garment then back up to him. You shook your head slowly, then took a step back, putting some more distance between the two of you. « No I don’t. My boyfriend does though. »
He chuckled then took a tiny step back as well, his ears getting red « Oh. Right. Sorry about that. »
You waved your hand briefly « It’s alright. »
In the following silence, he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, probably preparing his retreat when you grimaced. You quickly squeezed your eyes shut, a hot flash of pain hitting the center of your brain.
The stranger frowned, steadying you with a hand on your shoulder « Woah hey, you alright ? »
The pang thankfully went away just as fast as it came, and you exhaled. You opened your eyes, your gaze going back up to reassure and thank him just in time to see him get grabbed by the back of his collar and thrown directly into the nearest table.
The boy lost his balance, landing directly onto his side on an overturned chair, his body twisting like a mannequin. He groaned and ran a hand over his ribs, the sound of the shock stunning you silent. You peered over at Seongje in utter disbelief and he side eyed you with the most serious expression you’d ever seen him throw at you. You froze, knowing this look only meant mayhem coming from him.
Before you knew what to do, he stepped up to the boy’s crumpled form grabbing the front of his shirt to pull him closer. He gave him a gummy sadistic smile before knocking him unconscious with two bone crushing punches. Seongje ended the assault crouching to wipe his blood stained knuckles on the guy’s shirt. Then he got up and casually stared at his work.
You turned to the bowling staff, mouth agape, only to see them all wearing different shades of the same emotion. Freaking amusement.
You remembered then that this joke of an establishment was nothing more than a front and that they were all part of the union. Of course they would all be salivating at the entertainment provided by such a display.
When you understood they’d be no help here, you turned to the group, all gathered around the scene, outnumbered and clearly intimidated by Dongha who now stood up chuckling, obviously gearing up for a fight. Seongmok was just as intimidating, his posture rigid on his chair, his face the usual mask of silent and focused strength. No one spoke a word, knowing they wouldn’t hesitate to jump in and put them in the same state as their friend.
Not that Seongje would need the backup. Everyone here knew your boyfriend too well for any of them to dare question the scene unfolding.
The deafening silence of the crowd and the crimson spreading onto the limp figure’s crisp white fabric finally spurred you into action, your gasp only fueling Seongje’s fire.
He turned towards you, his gaze piercing as he reached for a cigarette, far too nonchalant for the amount of violence he just unleashed on the poor guy.
« Are you out of your fucking mind ! » you pushed him, his big frame barely moved from your hit and he watched you silently. Almost daring you to say something more.
You scrambled to the boy’s side, panic making your movements shaky. Just as you moved down preparing to kneel next to him, you heard your boyfriend’s blank voice « don’t get on your knees for him. »
You looked back at him, a glare on your pinched face and crouched next to the injured boy anyway, checking his pulse.
Seongje rolled his eyes and reached lazily to grab you under your shoulder. His blasé attitude annoyed you and you shrugged his hand off. You yanked way harder than necessary given the lack of strength he used, the move more performative than anything else. You just didn’t want him touching you with the same hands that unleashed hell a few minutes before, and you wanted him to know it.
Unfortunately, the adrenaline and your shaken state made you slower than usual, and you leaned too far, losing your balance. You landed on your knees next to the boy, but didn’t pause your care, checking if he was still breathing properly.
Seeing you on the dirty floor, all worried about some random guy like this sent Seongje over the edge. He flicked his barely lit cigarette off to the side and took hold of your upper arm, pulling you straight up.
You gasped and tried to push him away, to no avail, his grip soft enough not to hurt, but still firm to keep you in place. He turned towards the closest of the unconscious boy’s friends « Take this little shit and get the fuck out of here. »
The whole group scrambled to grab their friend, finally checking on him and you were relieved to see him slowly move his head, groaning when they sat him up straight.
You let out a thankful breath, relaxing a bit in Seongje’s hold as he pulled you towards Baekjin’s thankfully empty office. He shut the door behind you two, and pushed you into the room like one would a belligerent child.
That pissed you off and you started in on him right away « What the fuck do you think you’re doing you psycho ? »
His irate gaze found yours and he advanced on you. You took several steps back, your retreat mirroring his determined steps until your back hit the wall. He didn’t stop until he had you cornered, the two of you standing toe to toe, making it obvious that he’d stand his ground.
« What the fuck do you think you’re doing ? » He put the focus back on you, and you genuinely wondered what reality he lived in where he thought he had the moral high ground to question you after what he just did.
Then he just had to make it even worse « I thought that was what you wanted. » He arched an audacious brow, watching as you froze at his words, shocked by the statement.
At no point during the evening— or ever for that matter— did you hint that you’d like for your boyfriend to pummel some innocent bystander. What he just said didn’t make a lick of sense and he knew it, but he carried on, even as he read your disbelief « The guy comes fucking flirting with you in front of me and you’re just there taking it all in, smiling and shit ? Surely you must’ve wanted him dead »
You chuckled humorlessly, trying and failing to blink the craziness of his words away. You rubbed your temples. Your patience was already thinner than usual the minute you stepped foot in the establishment.
It was barely hanging on by a thread now « You are… Wow. Seongje. You’re… the guy literally spoke like five words to me ! He wasn’t even flirting when you— » You cut yourself off, genuinely baffled.
You almost mentioned that the boy was even checking to make sure you were okay, but decided against it. A little jealousy, you could deal with, you even considered it healthy to some extent. But you wouldn’t stand there and enable his unhinged behavior, no matter how normalized it had become in his and his associates’ twisted minds.
« So what, you’re gonna beat up every single guy who dares approach me now ? I am allowed to casually talk and make friends with people that are not you and the fucking dogs you call your guys, if you can even call them that ! No need to act like a caveman over it. Fucking… Breaking ribs and noses Seongje ? Really ? »
He clenched his jaw, his nose flaring reflexively, the mask of indifference cracking subtly, the argument clearly hitting a nerve. Then before you could try and pick at the cracks any further to finally get to him, it was like he did a 180. You watched as he hummed and laughed, taking a tiny step back putting some distance between the two of you, both physically and emotionally. The mask slipped back on, his face stoic, and just like that the progress you thought you’d made deflated like a soufflé.
He pulled out another cigarette and the mean glint in his eyes that he so often turned towards others came on, directed at you. You were well acquainted with that look by now and already, you braced yourself for the impact of whatever his sharp tongue would cook up for you.
You tried to make sense of it all, your heart gripping to all the times he was gentle and soft with you, even if uncomfortable or annoyed by a situation. But although he made an effort with you and genuinely tried to reign his instincts in, he still had the shortest tolerance known to man so these situations were bound to happen.
Although you never felt physically threatened by his attempts at intimidation, the verbal blows he delivered could sometimes hit just as precisely as these punches he knew how to give so well. While he hid his reactions well with you, you wore your heart on your sleeve and he knew it, and didn’t hesitate to use that fact to end up on the winning side of each battle in your toxic war.
Today would no doubt be no different, and after the jab you just landed you could see him playing with his tongue, drawing up some cruel comeback to shut you up.
He took a long pull of smoke, the suspense growing more tense. Then after a few seconds, he blew it away from your face. His gaze was amused when he looked back at you, his mouth twisted in a wicked curl.
« You know, watching you right now I can’t tell which one it is. Either you genuinely believe the words you’re saying, which would make you sadly naive. And way more stupid than I thought you were when it comes to men’s intentions. Or you’re fucking playing with me and you like the attention. And that would make you a fucking tease who knows exactly what she’s doing. »
He stepped back closer to you, bending slightly so he towered over you, and whispered tauntingly « Is that it ? Come on… Admit it. Deep down you like it when I get angry like that for you. I bet if I check right now, I’ll find you all wet from seeing the loser’s cherub face stained all red » He stuck the cigarette into the corner of his lips preparing to casually pull on it after the knife he just planted straight through your heart.
Your hand got a mind of its own and before you could reign yourself in, it launched and landed on the side of his face, your palm stinging at the fast and rough contact.
Seongje kept his face turned away from you. You could see the blood rushing underneath his skin where your palm connected, your handprint staining his skin a subtle soft pink. The only sound in the room that of the cigarette rolling on the ground and your heavy breathing.
He slowly turned his head back towards you, and with lightening fast movements took hold of your wrist, your hand still twitching between the two of you.
He took hold of your fingers with his other hand, gently opened your hand, then holding your gaze hostage with his own, he kissed the palm that just marked his cheek. You pulled your hand away harshly, your own cheeks heating up.
And just like that, he took the upper hand, and he knew he’d keep it. Seongje sure loved to get you to use violence.
Did he enjoy having confirmation that you too could be as impulsive and immoral as him ? Or perhaps he liked the thought that the more time you spent with him, the more he rubbed off on you… Either way, the result was the same.
A hit was a definite conversation interrupter. He was always a better fighter than conversationalist anyway. He thrived on the proof that he managed to get to you just as much as your words often got to him. That’s how he ensured the balance was restored.
Him who prided himself on being nonchalant, obviously hurt by your words. And in turn, your perfect feathers ruffled by him. Always by him. Only by him. It filled him with glee to get you to you use your hands in the same way he often did.
There was something thrilling about seeing you specifically, lean towards the edge of being as corrupt as he was. A tale as old as time… He probably wouldn’t stop until he owned you completely.
Your mind wandered to your history lessons — Persephone to his Hades. He was perfectly content to steal you and keep you to himself even if it meant eclipsing your light and warmth. As long as you lit up his gloomy piece of the world, he’d gladly let the rest of the universe starve and coldly wither away. He didn’t care that by doing so he was slowly snuffing out your brightness, erasing all that you were and tainting what was between the two of you.
You shamefully lowered your gaze and took a shaky breath, your eyes watering. The fight left you all at once. Your argument a sparring only him was keeping scores on anymore.
You tried to push past him and he blocked your path, halting your swift exit « Where’d you think you’re going angel ? »
His tone was soft, testing, but the term of endearment sounded almost mocking to you. He only called you that when you broke and hit or insulted him. Used it like a wicked reward for twisted behavior.
He waited for you to answer, watching your face while you avoided eye contact. « Home. I’m tired. I’ve been tired. » You told your shoes, your headache embraced its final form from earlier’s faint ache to full blown throbbing after tonight’s incident.
He watched you for a long moment. A tactic he used on others to get them to look down or away. But with you, he hoped for the opposite, willing your eyes to go back up to him. When you didn’t look up, he understood he took it too far.
The discomfort rose and he blocked it out before he could analyze what hid behind it.
Worse, your sudden passivity irked him and he wanted to see the beauty that was your fire light up again. So instead of apologizing he did what he did best. He tried to instigate furthermore, hardly stopped now that you had triggered his malice.
He let you pass by before adressing your back, throwing the words to you in a last desperate attempt to taunt you « Very well then angel. I guess maybe I can catch up to one of the girls in their group to console me. You know, since we’re making new friends and all, yeah ? »
That was low, even for him. He knew it. But you did stop in your tracks which made it worth it for him. But much to his dismay, you didn’t look at him.
Instead you softly said « Sure Seongje. Go ahead. » with a little voice, in a tone he failed to recognize. You shrugged off his blazer, threw it on the couch, and left the room rubbing your arms.
The door to the office closed softly. He cursed before collapsing on the couch. After a while, he lit up yet another smoke.
When Dongha and Seongmok saw you leaving alone, your eyes shiny, they looked at each other. The former chuckled and the latter sighed, waiting for Seongje’s appearance to gauge how the rest of the evening would pan out. They never really knew with you two’s arguments.
Seongje emerged ten long minutes later, an almost finished cigarette dangling out of his mouth, gaze focused, body weirdly keyed up « That one guy in the group, dickhead with the mullet. He goes to Ganghak right ? »
Dongha picked up on his friend’s chaotic energy and knew it was only a matter of time before he’d have to turn his turmoil outward. He smiled sharply waiting to see what he had in store, the night still young « Yeah. Hayeong or… Hayin or other. »
Seongje nodded, clearly hatching up a plan « Hayan. » He said absently while putting on his windbreaker. He flickied off the butt of his cigarette « Let’s go find them »
He left without glancing, knowing they would follow shortly.
Dongha stood up laughing enthusiastically, happy to be spreading mayhem once again « This’ll be a long fucking night. Can’t wait. »
The fresh air hit him, Seongje looked around, the night sky way darker than he had anticipated. He must have zoned out longer than he thought he did after you left. He frowned and tried calling you, his call going to voicemail after barely ringing two seconds.
He clenched his hands and hung up, then immediately pulled up your text thread typing furiously
I just sent you some money, take a cab it’s getting late.
____
____. I don’t want you walking out alone all on your own in the dark like that. I know you’re seeing this, answer the damn phone.
At least let me know when you’re home safe
Thirty minutes later, he was standing in some seedy alleyway after a call from Baekjin rerouted him and his acolytes. He watched uninterested as Dongha punched a bunch of assholes in the stomach, apparently they owed the union heavy money.
His mind drifted to you and his dry phone. He wondered whether you made it home ok, your answer still not coming through.
He tried calling again, watching the scene unfold a few feet away, this time it didn’t even ring out once and went straight to voicemail. Most likely you’d turned off your phone but he couldn’t help but wonder… What if something had happened to you.
He called your closest friend asking her to check up on you
Please Sara. Do that for me.
Why would I ? What the hell did you do this time around ?
Didn’t ask for a fucking couple’s counseling session, doc. Your friend went back home at night, alone, I’m just trying to make sure she’s ok. And so should you.
Sara scoffed
You’ve got some nerve ! And whose fault is that again genius ? Aren’t you supposed to look over her ? Don’t give me attitude for your fuck ups Seongje
This shut him up. She was right. The earlier discomfort popped up again, lingering the longer he didn’t get the reassurance that you were safe and sound in your bed. He didn’t know what to answer, his gut telling him this fight wasn’t like the others, the feeling leaving a bitter taste on his tongue.
The fight replayed in his mind, long enough for your friend to let out an exhausted exhale, mistaking his silence for resolve
Alright. I’ll call her and let you know.
The relief was instant
Good.
You’re welcome. Asshole.
She hung up and he stood aside, still watching the five men cowering against the wall of the dirty building.
Two long minutes later, he received a text from Sara
Called her mom, she’s fine
Good
You’re welcome ! Again. Asshole.
He pocketed his phone. So she was in fact ignoring him. « Very well. » He murmured.
He cracked his knuckles and neck, and approached the five indebted assholes.
« We’ll have the money next week I swear » the first one in the line was assuring Dongha. Seongje pushed his friend gently taking his place, watching the group of them.
He gave them each his signature psycho smile before grabbing the first one’s shoulder and hitting him in the stomach, hard. He doubled over, landing on his knees, throwing his dinner up.
« Come on, you can do better than that, right ? I have to tell you I’m in a very bad mood. Girl trouble, you know how it is huh ? My heart’s broken so it’d be good for your to come up with a better offer than your little friend over here » Seongje looked at each one of them, secretly hoping they would be dumb enough to give him an excuse to unleash even more hurt than he already had tonight.
The poor bastards’ answers didn’t matter, his mind already made up. Hopefully, by the time he was finished with them, the throbbing in his hand would be enough to numb the one in his heart.
I have a little ongoing scenario running in my mind but I don’t know if it will pique anyone’s interest…
Thinking of a Dongha x Female!Reader x Seongmok with kind of a selfish reader. She’s pretty much a female version of Dongha (violence aside). She’s dating Dongha but gets interested in seongmok who gets conflicted. Her personality makes them pretty compatible as evidenced by his relationship with Dongha and he is tempted.
Don’t know if anyone’s interested ? Is the fandom dead ? Please drop comment if you’re in !
(Might write it anyway if it tickles my brain too much. I love me an angsty fic lol)
Okay, that's a really good sentence. Typo. Typo. Huh, did I write this? It's actually not bad. Typo. Hm, I would cut out that part now, but it kind of works. TYPO. Oh, this part is really good. That is the wrong word, wtf? I'm enjoying this more than I thought I would. ANOTHER TYPO? FFS.
I write adult content and treat grown themes so MDNI (18+). I’m sure I’ll forget to list some triggers but I’ll try my best not to do so!
(Part. 2)
Genre ~ Angst, Smut
Summary ~ Seongje and female!Reader go home after their confrontation. Lots of making up 😏 AU, the characters are a bit older. (end of uni)
Warnings ~ smoking, cussing, sexual themes
wc ~ 5k
Song suggestion : « We both know it’s never really goodbye. I swear it’s like we do this all the time. This shit be turning me on I cannot lie… »
A/n ~ Reader is referred to as « ____ »
Can be read as a standalone if you only want the smut I guess but the other two parts build up the tension and add context
Took my time on this one ! First attempt of smut I kind of got stage fright 😭 That page was blank blank
Finally figured it out I hope. Enjoy ☺️
Share the love ! Like, reblog and COMMENT 🩵🩵
MASTERLIST
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seongje’s heart raced as he rode through the city. He struggled not to press his foot harder on the gas.
On one hand, he knew you were not very fond of the death trap he liked to ride in. The last thing he wanted at the moment was more ammunition against him. The feel of your chest pressed against his back didn’t hurt either. He’d indulge as much as he could.
On the other hand, your hesitation right before the two of you left the cafe was obvious. He couldn’t unwind until he had you to himself. He wouldn’t. He needed you tucked away from the world. Stuck to his side in the safety of his bed.
Mind spinning, he went back and forth, speed matching each thought. Slow at times. Then hot— the city lights a blur of yellow, white and red in the darkening sky.
Before long, you were at his door. He fiddled with his keys, taking quick peeks at you. His chest warmed each time he saw you standing there still.
The past week without you had been… a lot. He didn’t know what to make of it.
The first few days, he’d been impressed by your resolve. He’d found your attempt at getting back at him cute.
Soon enough, he skipped annoyance and headed straight to livid. Seongje was used to getting what he wanted. What he wasn’t given, he always found a way to wangle and take anyway. So when you went silent, denying him access to you to at least plead his case, he went off the deep end.
The thought of not being privy to your thoughts, your warmth, your love. That was the bit that scared him when the two of you were at odds.
But not being able to do anything about it… He wasn’t familiar with the feeling. That drove him crazy. So he spiraled. Unable to cope with you being so close yet so far away.
The fright fueled his ire. At that punk for choosing the wrong girl to flirt with. At you, for shutting him out.
At himself.
The angrier he got, the more he lashed out. Ultimately, he buried himself into one of his usual distractions. Until he ruined that too, his turmoil too loud to appease so easily. He repeated the cycle, from one poison to the next.
Gaming was the first cut. He got expelled from his favorite spot. They’d been patient enough with him already. He conceded, three broken wrists was a bit much in one evening.
« You’re scaring the customers away boy, boss said not to let you in anymore. »
Next, he doubled down on his work for the union. The problem was he still saw that fucker in every bastard his fists rained down on. Inevitably, he pictured you leaving Baekjin’s office. The throbbing in his fists thankfully managed to numb him for a short while. So every late payer got their due. And then some.
After two days of rampage, even Dongha tired of his behavior. He and his equally evil twin had started to dodge him as well ; deliberately omitting assignment details, ignoring texts, calls. He retaliated by showing up unannounced, his smugness downright mocking. Somehow by the end of the evening, his fists pulsed painfully from where they’d punched on Dongha’s hard ass jaw. Seongmok, romantic as he was, ran crying to Baekjin about it.
« We want to intimidate the late payers, not scare all the potential clients. You go around breaking kneecaps and clavicles, no one will approach us. »
This conversation was even icier than expected. There went the union. His friends.
« […] You and the fucking dogs you call your guys, if you can even call them that ! »
He’d spent the rest of the day recklessly riding around town, pace still too slow to outrun the thought.
At last, he had nothing to do. Nowhere he was welcomed. He returned to his spot on the rooftop, staring at the moon.
« Sure Seongje. Go ahead. » Your weak voice echoed in his ears.
« Go home. Shower. Stop smoking so damn much. Get a fucking grip Seongje. And some sleep while you’re at it. » He pressed his eyes closed, blocking the memory.
The joints in his hands and wrists screamed in protest. He looked down. He’d never seen them in such a state. His knuckles practically peeling away. His entire fingers reddish and puffy. A medley of the mayhem these hands had provoked this week played in his head. When the usual delight didn’t come, he tugged at his hair, expletives on the tip of his tongue.
He longed for you. Needed you back. Needed his own self back. That thought disturbed him and he squelched a panicked laugh, pulling out a smoke to crush his rising anxiety.
The cigarette didn’t do it either. So he pulled out another. And another one after that…
He went home a little after sunrise this morning. His eyes burned from the lack of shut-eye and his throat was raw from all of the smoke. He showered, brushed his teeth and changed. Then he stalked around your neighborhood hoping he would catch you come out of your house. It wasn’t his proudest moment.
Your door opened and you appeared in the doorway. Like a dumbass, he froze, stuck in place at the sight of you, his brain lagging. He ended up following you to your coffee date, watching as Sara hugged you. She’d managed to get you out of the house, to which he was grateful. He’d have to buy this girl something or other at some point, twice now she’d proved more useful than he ever thought she would be.
It took him no less than twenty minutes to finally approach. His mind blanked out on what to say to you now that he had you in the flesh in front of him.
And now, you were finally back where you belonged, next to him. He would ensure it lasted. For his sanity — and that of everyone around him.
He led you inside and assessed you carefully, your stance frazzled. It seemed as though you would bolt any second. The idea agitated him. Vows and assurances alone wouldn’t fix anything more. Not the ones he was capable of anyway. What he felt could only be showed.
He cupped your face, his grip challenging. Urging you to reach out too. Eager to make sure the two of you were still attuned to the same frequency.
His hands steadied and he rocked you in soothing motions, coaxing you into focusing on him. He wouldn’t let you flee back into your head. Not right now.
You clutched his wrists. He stalled. You could plainly see all of the emotions he’d tried to repress during the days you hadn’t spoken. The usual walls just short enough for the mask to slip.
Imploring at first, the apology almost written on his forehead. You studied him again. His eyebrows were knotted, his nose flared, his jaw shaky. His fingers twitched on your skin, grabbing at it helplessly. This was the most tender he had ever held you, pure yearning pouring out of him. Yet the struggle not to clench too hard was evident in his demeanor.
Peering back up at him, your pulse picked up in anticipation. You found exactly what you knew you would. His eyelids lowered as he scanned you. His tongue swiped against his lips. Pressure strained around your neck.
He found your gaze again, the look brazenly hungry. He pressed you against the door, his face lowering down to yours leisurely. You closed your eyes. Your breathing grew labored, mouths almost coming together.
Time slowed, suspended. This was it, the conclusion to whatever this week meant for your relationship.
You’d tried to hold onto your hurt and anger. Attempted to dissect the jumble in your overworking brain, as it computed all of the red flags Seongje had raised over time.
The truth was, despite all of the arguing, the fights, the silent treatments. Despite the clear divide between your communication styles… Geum Seongje always managed to get to you that way. He touched you, and that quick, instinct took over. His body language clashed with everything else. Every flag turned white. Neither red nor green, but blank. Open for any possibility.
Perhaps it really came down to each person being a universe of their own. With their own values. Their own rules. Perhaps Seongje did love you, showing it in his personal way. Perhaps he’d fold and meet you halfway if you hung on.
Or perhaps, you were asking for too much and not hearing the words won’t matter all that much in the end. Maybe you jeopardized what you did have, too busy being a glutton for what you didn’t…
Either way, the two of you knew that going further was the ultimate surrender.
So you let go.
The ghost of his lips tickled yours, and your tongue came out to soothe the itch. You awaited the soft pressure. His hot tongue. Accepting his touch for what it was. Still, nothing came. He kept you in place as you tried to reach and kiss him yourself. So close, yet, out of reach.
You opened your eyes. The resentful look startled you. The scowl made it unclear whether he wished to strangle you or make out.
He squeezed the sides of your neck, gentle yet firm. He angled your face up towards him, thumbs running back and forth.
You tugged him closer. Your nails latched into his forearm, hard. The pain sparked him into action.
His mouth crashed down on yours. His tongue found your own immediately, exploring in a crude motion. The world faded. His heat the only anchor left for you to hang onto.
He let go of your neck and knelt in front of you, looking up. His usual confidence back and in full swing ; smirk intact, pupils blown out nearly completely jet black. You caught yourself onto his shoulders, dizzy. He took your shoes off with quick and efficient movements, and picked you up on the uprise. Your startled curse tugged a small laugh out of him. He kicked off his shoes before heading straight for his bedroom.
He rushed to the bed and threw you on the unmade sheets, your body bouncing from the impact. You tittered, the sound not matched by Seongje. He removed his glasses, discarded his sweater, and turned to you, a man on a mission. Your jacket was next.
He picked your foot up and tugged at your thigh high sock. Wet brushes followed the sensual stroke of the fabric down your leg, silky skin revealed little by little.
You watched, mesmerized as he did the same to your other leg, trailing back up once the sock was all the way off.
His sharp teeth clamped on top of your thigh, the sting exhilarating. He caressed your side and your legs closed around his torso, the soft muscles of your cunt tightening, squeezing around nothing. You called his name, pleading.
He kept the pace slow, methodically unbuttoning your skirt. You could feel your panties getting wetter, your clit catching on the cotton. You ground your hips against the mattress, your open legs emphasizing the emptiness inside of you. The tiny friction on your nerve endings alleviated some of the pressure. It still wasn’t enough.
He slid your skirt off, stroking your legs on the way. You squeezed them together as soon as he leaned back, keening when your inner thighs rubbed on your bundle of nerves. But Seongje was onto you. He leaned right back in, his strong hands pinning your knees down. His voice was gravelly when he instructed « Nuh huh sweetheart. I can see what you’re doing. Stay just like that. »
You whined. His stern glance was enough to shut you up. Seongje was well known for teasing, denying your orgasm for as long as it amused him. You were counting on the week of abstinence to save you some of the torture. You wanted nothing more than for him to make you his again. So you obeyed, the deep breath not helping ease the tension coiling in your core.
He hummed and pushed your top down to your waist, freeing your breasts from the piece of cloth « That’s a good girl. » Your nipples hardened under his scrutiny. You grasped his hair and neck tensely.
He kissed your chest right in the middle, resting right upon it for a second, inhaling your sweet scent. The shallow rocking of your hips against his triggered a cold wave on his back. He groaned and lowered until he could put your legs over both shoulders.
He nibbled bluntly over your panties. That drew out a hiss. The direct contact over your most sensitive spot had you arching towards him. He watched you lazily from down below, latched onto the hem of your underwear. He grazed your pubic bone, sliding the panties off. Then settled back down between your legs, licking his lips at the sight of you wet and bare for him.
He dabbed a fingertip against your entrance. The slight pressure against your pulsing hole was enough to make you feel it, but not enough to satisfy you. He showed you his wet finger, then cleaned it off in his mouth. The clenching intensified as you anticipated his next move, giving up control completely.
He held up the wet patch on the crotch of your underwear « You ruined those, princess. Is that all my fault ? Hmm ? »
Your nod was frantic, words failing you. He laid a brusque slap on your cunt. The sting had you jumping « I told you I’ve been missing your voice didn’t I ? I want to hear you. »
You tugged on his hair hard. The warmth of his breath over your tender flesh drove you crazy. « Fuck. Yes. » Your head fell on the bed, eyes to the ceiling. Seongje’s intense leer was too intense to keep up with.
« You want me to make it up to you ? » He cajoled.
« Yes baby. Please. » You heaved, the reply syrupy.
The contact was electric. Seongje’s warm tongue laved your wet skin. The long swipe scooped all of your wetness from your opening up to the top of your clit. His mouth closed around it, sucking. You’d expected more restraint from him. More teasing. So when he dived right into you, his tongue bold and relentless, the world spun.
The ceiling swung in a whirlwind of pleasure. You blocked the sight, light-headed. Stars twinkled in the darkness.
Seongje’s tongue flattened and everything faded. You flew over the edge, weightless. Your lungs burned from the suppressed gasp. Your body locked. Hands rough in his hair. Thighs choking him. Wave after wave, your release blissfully flowed over you.
Your loud moans were music to his ears. He grabbed your legs and massaged the softness there, latched onto you while you rode off your orgasm.
You floated back down to Seongje watching you, pecking the top of your thigh. You released his hair and he smirked, lips still pressed against you « Damn. I knew you’d be touch-starved but really ? Twenty seconds baby ? »
You gave a startled laugh. He couldn’t help but be an asshole. Your light tap smacked on his shoulder « I fucking hate you. Asshole. » You sniped candy-sweet, the words sounding ridiculous, even to your own ears.
Seongje swiped at his jaw, gathering the moisture you left there onto his palm « Yeah ? You should tell your pussy then. » He wiggled his shiny fingers, taunting, then sucked them clean.
An aftershock hit you, the need to feel him inside of you back tenfold. It was your turn to ogle him, his starving look reflected back at him. He watched you squirm, smug, taking his time. He removed his shirt. His pants. Each sock.
Then he slid back into your embrace, licking the top of each breast, teasing your slit. The light prodding had your pussy quaking expectantly. His touch wandered up, almost to your sensitive nub, before they travelled down south again, short of pushing inside you.
You groaned in frustration, the scoff impossible to bury. You pulled on his shoulders. Seongje laughed, mocking. You hit his arm in dismay.
« What do you want princess ? Tell me. I need to hear you. » He held your chin, tone almost indulgent.
« I need more of you. »
His finger slid inside of you, nudging your walls. He kissed your collar bone and you huffed out your frustration.
The bite was sudden and you squealed, pushing him away. He pinned both of your arms above your head « Yeah ? You need more of me ? »
You nodded and he slapped the side of your thigh « Words ____. That’s your thing no ? Use them. » He commanded.
« I want you inside me Seongje. Please. » You begged, chest heaving.
He hummed, contemplating your answer. His smile switched from cocky to merciless « I don’t know if you deserve it though. You left me hanging for a week. Wouldn’t answer my calls. My texts. The fucking door. Why should I give you anything ? Huh ? » He griped, hold taut on your wrists.
You panted, trapped underneath him, your heart squeezing at the genuine hurt on his face. So you did the one thing you were good at. You bared your soul, vulnerability shining through « Because I missed you. » He blinked, resolve breaking. Your head lifted, closing the short distance « Because I love you baby. » You whispered it like a saucy secret.
His mouth collided against yours, lips melting obscenely. The grasp keeping your arms at bay loosened just enough for you to tug your limbs free. You cradled his neck, hands buried in the damp hair at the back of it, your strokes deliberately tender.
He plunged two fingers knuckles deep inside of you, stroking gently. You threw your head back, both of you panting. Soon, you were steady climbing towards your second orgasm.
Seongje cursed onto your neck, the tight squeeze of your wet muscles distracting. Hips jerking against your leg, his erection grew uncomfortably hard. Your cunt squeezed him again. Nails raking against the nape of his neck, you purred in his ear « Cum inside me baby. Please. » His entire body faltered. He kissed you deep and hard, working to get his boxers off without breaking contact with you.
He settled right back between your legs, frantic. Your entire bodies were glued together, skin magnetized. Limbs tangled. Chest to chest. Heart against heart. In one powerful thrust, he took the last step and slid all the way home.
Buried deep, your breaths mingled. You tensed around him. Arms constricting around his neck, legs cramping around his hips, the clamping on his length bruising. He sucked in your sharp gasp. The tiny pained cry burst through the pulsing in his ears.
He pressed his face against the side of yours, going completely still. The rough intrusion wasn’t intended. His desire to feel all of you had taken over, self-control lifting all at once. His forehead settled on your temple « Fuck. I’m sorry. »
That was a first. Either way, the outburst sounded natural. It sounded easy.
Tiny bumps rose and tickled your fingertips where they laid on his back. The hammer of his heart sent yours racing. They pulsed in sync to the same erratic beat. He puffed helplessly, trying to calm himself down. Trying, and failing, the choppy breathing giving him away. You stroked lazily over his shoulders, cooling yourself. Deep on the inhale, slow on the exhale. Limb by limb, you relaxed around him. His body, attuned to yours, followed suit.
His lips trailed on your cheek. He withdrew a tiny bit, and drove forward again in a tentative thrust. Your nerves fired up again. The fullness fueling the fire he had lit right before. You moaned, your muscles pressing down on him.
His pace picked up speed. Cautious.
« I’m sorry. » He cooed the two words over and over, in between kisses. Each time, it filled your chest « Let me make it better. Make it hurt good. »
The long strokes had your walls fluttering around him. He bucked against you and you cried his name. Explicit sounds filled the room. It riled him up even more. He pinned your knees to the bed, guiding your hips where he wanted them. His rhythm picked up. Hips rolling at a punishing cadence, your high-pitched squeaks matched to his grinding.
« Yes that’s it. So good together. Don’t keep that away from me again baby. You hear me ? » He mumbled in your ear, his motions steady.
Melting under him, you writhed, your words jumbled « I— I love you Seongje. I want to feel all of you— Inside me. I miss you. » His hips stuttered. He halted, cock twitching against your inner walls.
You squeezed around him. « Fuck. » His head lowered to your neck.
« Seongje… Let go baby. Let go. »
Seongje sucked on your jaw. His teeth bit into it, hot air puffing on the wet spot as he chased his own high. You encouraged him, the vibrations from your soft words tickling.
Finally, you felt it. His lower belly tensed against you. The drawn out grunt was raw. His hips jerked as warmth filled the deepest part of you. Your gut trembled and you spasmed, milking him for every drop.
When the pulsing subsided, he settled his head on your chest. You hugged him close, fingers soothing in his hair. His full weight settled onto you, bodies locked together for a few minutes.
Basking in the aftermath of both of your releases, Seongje didn’t react when you nudged the side of his arm. So you hit him again. And again. He grunted his annoyance.
« Seongje. I have to go pee. Move. » He grunted once more, pulling out slowly. « Fuck. You just like to get on my nerves. » The words were purposefully mashed onto your skin. Seongje defiantly settled even more comfortably over you. You snickered and pushed to dislodge him. He barely shifted an inch, reminding you of how much stronger than you he was.
At last, he rolled to the side, languid, an easy laugh leaving him. You bent to pick up his shirt. His half-lidded leer landed on his seed running down your legs as you limped lightly towards the bathroom.
« Freaking asshole. » His smug grin followed you out of the room, brightening at the insult.
Seongje bent and retrieved his cigarettes, plopping one between his teeth. He would put all the chances on his side to finally be able to rest. The first hit was bliss and he relaxed even more against the mattress. Finally, he felt somewhat appeased.
You would be sure to bitch about it — deservedly so — but after the week he’d had, it was required.
On cue, you opened the bathroom door and zoomed in on the lit up stick « Seriously ? How you find the urge to smoke after all that is beyond me. » You perused his room floor, your forehead scrunched.
« How you find the urge to complain after all that is beyond me. Maybe I didn’t put in enough work ? » Your laugh twinkled and you made a time out gesture. His smug grin was theatrically crass and you flipped him off. You searched around again.
« What you looking for ? »
« My panties. Where did you throw them ? »
« You’re not getting those back. »
« Seongje ! I barely have any left ! These were so cute. »
He continued as if you hadn’t spoken « You won’t be needing panties anymore tonight anyway. Come here. Lay down with me. »
You joined him on the bed and laid across him. Plucking the cigarette right from his mouth, you took a drag. He watched, amused, as you grimaced. You coughed the smoke out with a scowl « Ugh. Don’t know why or how you do that everyday. Every goddamn hour even. »
He chuckled softly « Yes. So you’ve told me. A million times at least. »
You hummed and slid over next to him, on your belly. He studied you with such care. The look on his face should be immortalized, you thought. It was the same look that made you reach back for him every single time.
He pulled the shirt up over your back and caressed the bare skin in meaningless patterns, brushing over to your hip and back again. He ashed the cigarette and hovered over you, lips replacing his fingers. You stretched, delighted by his attention.
The loud chiming startled you, his phone vibrating on the little table next to you. The shrill sound burst the cozy bubble. A reminder that the world awaited outside of this room. You tensed, dreading his withdrawal.
When he didn’t reach for the device, you blinked « You’re not getting that ? »
« It’ll wait. » Your eyebrows rose dramatically.
« Um. I mean… It might be Baekjin ? Maybe you’re needed there somewhere. »
He scoffed « And ? So what. I’m not his dog, he’ll get over it. » The flippant dismissal stunned you silent « I’m needed somewhere alright. Right here. » His touches carried on like it was no big deal.
But to you it was. You couldn’t help but think of how nice it all was. His behavior fed into your inner fantasies.
He was… Apologizing… You were probably fooling yourself. The moment nothing more than a rush of guilt from his brutal push into you. That’s what you told yourself… Unless maybe, some lingering remorse for all the rest had pushed through ?
Never before had he blown off the union, and now he was casually dodging calls without a care in the world.
But then again maybe it wasn’t Baekjin.
But It could’ve been… And he didn’t check.
What if— You cut yourself off, making peace with the uncertainty of it all. Maybe you prefer it that way. His feelings were like a fascinating puzzle that you stubbornly try to solve with no clue what it’s supposed to look like. Most of the key pieces are missing. Or concealed.
There you were, annoyed beyond measure, but even more intrigued and eager to get the full picture.
Within the emotional repression. The violence. The shady morals. You took pieces from your own board. You molded them to try and determine the method to his madness. You chose to see the fierce loyalty shining through. His random bouts of kindness. His determination. With that, you did your best to fill in the gaps. Convinced the pieces would fit. Eventually.
Lulled by his petting, you zoned out, drifting off to sleep. Hopes lit anew.
After a few minutes of watching your back rise and fall steadily, Seongje called out your name quietly. When you didn’t respond he sighed deeply. As tired as he was, sleep still evaded him. Every time he tried closing his eyes, he could see you telling him you loved him so passionately. He still couldn’t say it back.
The chaotic beating rocked his chest once more. Once too many today. He squeezed his shaking hands over his head. He tried to pretend like he didn’t care for you so much that it hurt. Tried to tell himself he didn’t owe you anything. But he simply couldn’t do that anymore. He had no desire to do so.
The words had rolled out so easily. At first, he meant them for his passionate slip up. Thinking he’d genuinely hurt you, panic had clawed at him. But as you relaxed, the urge had stayed. So he said them again, and again. Each time, a bit of the guilt that was now familiar ebbed away.
It painfully wasn’t enough. Not for his overworking brain. His mind refused to settle. His chest caved in, and he kissed the back of your head.
« Fuck… I love you. » He tested. Only then did the weight on his shoulders lift. His own reaction pissed him off. He was in too fucking deep. His gut squeezed and he settled back on his side « Shit… »
The phone buzzed again. He reached for it : Missed calls (1). He checked the caller ID: Dongha.
Of course it wasn’t Baekjin. After yesterday ? Proud bastard could be on fire, he’d probably combust to dust before he reached out.
The screen lit up with a text from Dongha. He opened it to find a picture of you two on his bike, your entire body hanging onto his for dear life.
Dongha : You finally over whatever’s going on between you two ? Baekjin won’t tell you but things are lowkey going south. Handle whatever it is that’s got your panties in a bunch. Then get your ass back here.
He bit his lip, eying you. He debated his answer for a minute.
Seongje : What the hell y’all calling me for. Thought I was a hindrance for his precious business lol.
He received a picture next. The eyes staring back at him were slightly more expressive, but still sad as ever. He scoffed. He didn’t think he’d see the day Yeon Sieun and his friends dared show their asses back around this side of town.
Seongje : When do you want to do this ?
Dongha : Knew you couldn’t resist. Tomorrow night work for you ? Sooner the fucking better.
He peeked at you before sending his response.
Seongje : I’ll make it work.
Dongha : lmao
Dongha : Thanks.
Dongha : You just won me a 100 bucks.
Seongje : Fuck off
The wound was too fresh to pick at it now. He had to keep this away from you. The last thing he wanted now that you’d called a truce, was to disturb the peace so soon after. So he took a fortifying breath and deleted the messages. Seongje turned his phone off before drifting off, your perfume quieted the noise, dazing him unconscious.
You awoke a few hours later, the room almost pitch black, night sky providing dim moon light into the room. You stared at Seongje’s lax figure, his loud snoring making you giggle. You tucked his hair behind his ear. He only snored when he was really tired. How long had he been sleep deprived.
You sighed, the words soft on your tongue « You know, it sure was nice to hear an apology earlier. If only you’d— just stop with the theatrics and say you’re sorry sometimes… Or… I don’t know, let me know how you feel. It’d go a long way. »
You kissed his forehead and he rolled over, tucking you against him in his sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/n ~ I guess I kind of went AU. The fight against the union didn’t end the same, both sides agreed to not interact. Sieun and friends were banned from some places around town. And Baekjin didn’t die haha.
Might do other parts to this story or other fics based on other characters, don’t know what I’m going to do next tbh, I’m open for a few requests if you wish to 🩵 can’t guarantee I’ll be able to fulfill them quickly but I’ll try !
"i don't comment on ao3 because i don't wanna be annoying or weird" skill issue + you greatly underestimate the power dynamic here, writing multi paragraph comments is like feeding a bunch of deeply insane and possibly starved ducks at the park and watch them go completely mad over having received a piece of bread
A/n : didn’t really proofread that one so excuse the eventual typos
A little something to tide y’all over waiting for SGALW Part 3 😉
My best-friend’s going through her own boyfriend drama so I had to lay down the pen, pick up some chocolate ice cream and head straight to her !
I’ll try to finish the story by this week-end 🩵
MASTERLIST
A = Aftercare
Usually, if you’re in the comfort of either of your homes he won’t do much. Won’t help with the cleanup, enjoying the sight of you gingerly walking towards the bathroom, dampness rolling on your skin or between your thighs. He will however massage your skin gently and give you small kisses over your chest or back as you lay back next to him.
If you’re in a risky setting, he’ll help you cleanup up as best as he can. Then make sure to keep contact with you in small ways, showing you that what you did mattered to him (a hand on your thigh, his arm lazy around you, standing behind you hands propped on your shoulders, quick pecks on your temple, etc.)
B = Body part
On himself, he’s always been very fond of his hands. Whether he uses them to wreak havoc on some guy’s face, or to work on your body, he’s very good with them and he knows it. He especially likes how long his fingers are and how they can draw the most exquisite sounds from your mouth.
On you, he’s obsessed with your whole neck area. He’ll find a way to either kiss, caress or grip you there every time. He especially likes kissing and biting your collar bones.
C = Cum
Loves the sight of his cum on you. Loves to see it smeared on your skin. It drives him crazy to cum inside of you and he will always do so if you don’t tell him otherwise, then watch it drip out. He’ll spill on your inner thighs if you ask him to pull out, enjoying the sight of it running down your legs.
As for you, he enjoys how wet you get when you cum and will put his fingers inside you after you do, just to look at how shiny his hand comes out.
E = Experience
He’s experienced, but not really due to numerous hookups. He treats sex like a game so he likes to take his time with someone, learning the rules and unlocking new tricks that go with it.
F = Favorite position
He likes to see your face and reactions so he’ll often have you on your back, legs over his shoulders. He loves that this restrains your movements and gives him free rein to lean in or away from you as he sees fit.
He also likes it when you ride him, he finds the view of your tits bouncing mesmerizing. He relishes in the fact that your jaw and neck are perfectly lined up for him to kiss when he sits up.
G = Goofy
He’ll definitely be playful when teasing you. He’s sometimes softly chuckling, genuinely amused by how much you want him. As soon as he’s chasing his own high though, he gets more serious.
He can seem downright angry at times, his gaze focused, especially when it’s been longer than usual.
I = Intimacy
He’s running away from it at first, the eye contact more playful. But as you grow your relationship, he’d feel more and more close to you, kissing and caressing you a lot. The eye contact is more intense once you reach that point.
He lets you be on top only once you’re more intimate with each other.
J = Jack off
Quite often. He’ll do it without shame and either tell you about it, send you a voice note of him finishing or send you a picture after he’s done.
K = Kinks
Slight BDSM, he restrains your hands and legs most of the time, loves the idea of tying you up (he’s slowly working up to it).
Likes it when you hurt him (scratching his back, love bites, pulling his hair).
Dom/sub dynamic. He loves to have control and to punish/reward you (the punishments being his favorite).
M = Motivation
Violence. He’ll get turned on seeing you after he fights, the adrenaline fueling his want. He gets especially worked up when you hit or insult him, and would actually be into you slapping him during the act.
N = No
Anything non-consensual. Sex is either a fun activity or a way to get closer to you. He wouldn’t be too keen on you looking like you’re actually uncomfortable.
Also, sharing you would (unfortunately) be a no-no. Even with another girl.
O = Oral
Likes it as much as the next person but the more your relationship progresses, the more quickly he will put an end to it, preferring to be inside you.
He’s more into fingering you over giving you oral so expect a lot of it when he does (his fingering technique is A1). He will eat you out like his life depends on it after big fights though, literally making out with your lower lips.
Q = Quickie
Adores quickies. They’re easy and low maintenance. If he’s bored and you’re around, he’ll give you a particular look or tug you away from people and simply ask « wanna fuck ? » with a mischievous expression. You often fold but let him do all the work.
R = Risk
He loves loves loves to experiment, often trying to get you in weird positions or to change up his technique. That’s how he got so talented with his hands.
As for risky places, he fairly loves the thrill but will make sure it stays safe so as not to get full on caught. He doesn’t want for you to be embarrassed or uncomfortable.
U = Unfair
Tease central. Seongje likes to tease a lot. He especially enjoys having you beg for him, the small physical cues you give him driving him crazy. He always delivers in the end though.
He won’t admit it but he also loves when you tease him, knowing you always break before you initially wanted to. It makes him feel even more wanted when you give up.
V = Volume
Talks you through it. Most of the times he’ll tell you how good you’re doing or explain why he’s teasing you. He’ll make sure you know exactly what he’s rewarding or punishing you for.
When it comes to his own pleasure he’ll tell you how good you feel or gently guide you so you can pleasure him how he likes it.
More of a groaner than a moaner.
Y = Yearning
He’s not driven by lust. He definitely enjoys it but he’s sexually disciplined and can go many weeks without it. Not much of a player.
With a girlfriend or a friend with benefits, he will be catching up on all the alone time. If he’s in the mood and you’re not there, he’ll ask you for pictures and videos at random points in the day and he’ll take care of it, making sure you know about it.
Z = Zzz
He’ll doze off fairly late, basking in the peaceful and sluggish energy after the release.
He always waits for you to come back to him after you’ve gone to the bathroom (because you always pee afterwards like a responsible baddie lol)
He often has you so relaxed you’ll fall asleep before him. Sometimes if he was particularly stressed beforehand, he’ll have a quick smoke (he avoids it knowing you don’t like that), unwinding even more before he consciously settles down and sleeps.
I write adult content and treat grown themes so MDNI (18+). I’m sure I’ll forget to list some triggers but I’ll try my best not to do so!
(Part. 1) / (Part. 3)
Genre ~ Angst, Smut
Summary ~ Seongje and girlfriend!reader try to navigate through yet another fight. AU, the characters are older (end of uni)
Warnings ~ smoking, cussing, violence, sexual themes
wc ~ 6.5k
Song suggestion : « Why I gotta beg to be chosen over your vices, over your liquor ? […] It hurts to stay just as much as it hurts to walk away. »
A/n ~ Reader is referred to as « ____ »
Give me all the love 🥰 Don’t hesitate to like, reblog and comment, that too goes a long way 🩵
MASTERLIST
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SATURDAY.
Consciousness filled your body slowly.
The mountain of delicate pillows and comforters on your bed propped your entire backside. Soft warmth enveloped the bare skin of your face, chest and limbs.
High pitched chirping outside tickled your eardrums and the incessant twitter pulled a soft smile out of you.
Fully woken up, you kept your eyes closed, enjoying the burnt-orangey tint of your closed eyelids for a little while longer. You licked your dry lips, stretching leisurely, and tasted… chocolate ? Your tongue ran against your bottom lip again, and sure enough, the taste intensified. Your arm hit your phone on your bed and it fell to the floor.
You let out a hushed curse, and opened your eyes. Only to shut them back immediately when the bright sunbeams irritated your sensitive eyes. You blinked again, slower. The bright blue sky and blossoming tree beautiful yet confusing.
You looked around your room and found yourself lying upside down on your bed, facing the window. The blinds you usually shut at night were nowhere to be seen. Your heavy eyelids slid back closed and you rolled over onto your stomach, blocking the sun.
The woodsy scent of Seongje’s cologne hit your nose, clinging to the pillow he used the last time your parents were out of town. The previous night came rushing back right then, at once.
For a blissful moment, you had forgotten it all. The blood. Seongje’s mean tone. The sting on your palm. His parting words.
Then the long walk home, the crying. The humongous slice of cake…
Upon arrival, you’d rushed to your room, your mother catching you right before you closed the door to your room. A single look was enough for her to deduce how horrible your day had been. The hug was much needed. The baked good waiting for you on the kitchen counter even more. The woman was a saint, her instinct for these things downright supernatural. Her timing always impeccable.
You chuckled at the thought.
You’d teared off your clothes, the soft cotton panties the only item remaining on your clammy skin. At last you’d laid down, head going where your feet usually were, gazing at the bright moon in the night sky. You hadn’t even bothered sitting up to eat the delightfully sweet treat, the ache in your chest subsiding just a tiny bit.
You inhaled deeply into the pillow. Your discomfort rose and you rolled back around, no position satisfying. Your mind raced in tandem with your heart and soon, your surroundings crashed into your daydream. The uneasy sensation was impossible to ignore any longer ; the sun was too bright, the birds too melodious, the flowers too springy.
Your heart squeezed and your stomach roiled. « Ugh » You sprung up, ran to the bathroom and fortunately got there just in time not to make a mess all over the floor. You hopped in the shower next, the scalding water washing the night away.
Damp towel discarded at your feet, you froze when you spotted the discarded phone on the ground. Your hand halted as you reflexively reached out for it. Your teeth sank in your lip, peering at the device like it would explode right in your hand.
Gathering your courage, you picked it up, the screen still dark after you’d turned it off the night before.
The numbers glowed green on the digital screen of your alarm clock : 11:42 A.M.
The day was already halfway gone. You’d probably turn your phone back on to a bunch of messages and missed calls. You recoiled at the prospect of having to answer them. More specifically, you anticipated which state you would find Seongje in.
You’d never went non-verbal on him before, always trying to talk things out, always the communicator. This didn’t feel like just another fight. At least it didn’t feel like it for you, exhaustion had had you pulling away prematurely.
The had pattern felt painfully familiar. An event somehow triggers your boyfriend. He does not know how to sort out the complex emotions left in its wake. The resulting spiral of anger and cruelty, stays unchecked until it snuffs any lingering feelings of vulnerability.
When the whirlwind passes, you’re left there. Barely standing, a casualty found in the wreckage’s aftermath. Not completely hollowed, but definitely not whole either.
This particular storm however, hit with unrivaled intensity, the wound deeper than usual.
You weren’t sure whether you were capable of handling this particular bout in any other way than you usually did. That bothered you.
So you stared at your phone, torn. Your head figured it was best he left you alone, the solitude allowing you to finally think unpolluted. Your heart was the problem though. It longed for you to turn it back on and seek him out. To let him alleviate the ache his absence left behind.
You couldn’t leave it off forever, so you powered the phone back on in a blur before you could change your mind. The immediate ringing in your hand made you jump.
Seongje’s handsome face filled your screen. The picture threw you back to that rainy day you took the picture. Both of you laid tangled in his bed, ironically, after yet another fight.
He was looking at you with such intensity, that you’d picked up your phone as quick as you could and snapped a candid picture of him. He play fought you for the phone, threatening to erase the picture and you’d distracted him with kisses. Which led you to get lost in each other all over again.
Your heart beat fast. You tossed the phone bottoms up on your bed, hands trembling until the faint vibrating sound stopped. The screen lit up : Missed calls (2)
You had no idea what you would even say should you answer the call...
The words still failed you come bedtime. So although you craved the sound of his voice, when the ring picked up again, you stared until the melody ran out. Irrationally, the fear rose inside of you that staring into his face would somehow manifest him right in your room.
You pulled up his contact and detached the picture from it, drifting off to sleep staring at the light grey avatar.
SUNDAY.
Laying on your bed, you waited for the rythmic light to stop dancing on your dark ceiling. The room was pitch black for a second, then it went off again : Missed calls (6).
You clicked on the notification, pulled up the call list. His name filled up the screen, the sight of the three characters enough to taunt you. Your throat closed up.
He’d doubled up on his efforts today… Called you six times. Ignoring him got harder the more insistent he became. Each time the phone rang, you held it, your finger hovering above the « Answer » option.
Then you could hear him, like he was standing right next to you. Calling you stupid. Naive.
So you held on.
MONDAY.
You had just settled, the amphitheater’s seat hard against your butt, when the first text came in.
9:37 A.M : Pick up the phone
9:38 A.M : Angel
You scoffed, the nickname rubbing you the wrong way. Only Seongje could highjack such a lovely word. In a petty move, you changed his name in your phone. « Asshole » was easier to ignore anyway.
1:42 P.M : You gonna stay mad for long ? Breaking your own record there
10:29 P.M : Damn. I guess your resolve really is as strong as your right hand. You left a mark.
This admittedly had the intended effect, the guilt of hurting him rushed back in. The toothbrush stalled in your mouth as you stared at your reflection. The feeling was somewhat erased by the mental image of the poor boy’s bloodied face. The bullshit threat to « make new friends ».
You movements resumed. He had the nerve to try and play dirty. Unapologetic, out-for-blood Seongje didn’t deserve a text back.
TUESDAY.
Tuesday was a Martian day for sure. The anger crystal clear in the tone and volume of the colorful voice notes he sent.
5:45 A.M : Stop fucking ignoring me.
5:11 P.M : Don’t make me have to come all the way to your damn class just to have a word with you ____. How would you like that huh ? PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE. Fuck! You know I fucking mean it
He was spiraling again. And was in no state for you two to have any type of constructive conversation. So you pushed the confrontation back, aiming to prevent a repeat of Friday night.
WEDNESDAY.
The knock on your bedroom door startled you into a sitting position. The door opened a few seconds later, your father pushing his head in, eyes closed.
« Are you decent ? » you giggled when you confirmed and he still opened only one eye.
He entered your room, sitting on your bed. « You don’t have classes this morning ? »
« I do but they’re all general courses and I’m not feeling so good. Gihun already agreed to give me his notes. »
He assessed you quietly, then nodded. « I’ll be at work. Call if you need anything alright ? »
You nodded, relieved he didn’t push further. Granted the bags under your eyes and dry skin probably sold the act quite well.
You had a feeling leaving your house today would bring nothing good, so you stayed in. Snuggled in your blanket, watching your favorite show.
That same afternoon, you received proof you were right to do so. The heavy breathing betrayed his agitated state as soon as you pressed play on the next voice note.
5:03 P.M : What the fuck ? Just spoke to the scrawny kid I see you walking out of class with all the time. Caught him outside and he told me you weren’t there ? How long you gonna keep this up ?
You’d barely read his note when your phone went off. You let it ring on its own at first. After the third call, you started manually declining.
Missed calls (8)
A message notification popped up on your screen. You opened it.
5:07 P.M : OICK UP THR FUCKING PHONE !
You left him on read yet again.
THURSDAY.
You were wandering around your house, cleaning after your parents’ departure when a banging sound startled you. Someone was pounding on your door, and it didn’t take long before the rude intruder’s identity was revealed.
« Hey ! ____ ! Open up, it’s me. »
His voice sent a wave of warmth travelling from the top of your scalp down to the tips of your toes, your fingers tingling. You stiffened, you were not ready to face him.
« OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR ! I know you’re in there ! » The door shook and you jumped, your hand clamping over your own mouth muffling your startled cry. A rattle sounded, followed by your neighbor’s growly voice.
You couldn’t make out what he was saying, the words drowned out by the rush of blood in your ears. You bit your thumbnail nervously. This could get quite ugly quite fast.
Still you didn’t open, full on avoiding confrontation at this point.
« Shut up or I’ll shut you up. Mind your own damned business. No one rang you you old fuck. » A door slammed « Nosy bastard. » Seongje muttered.
Your hands jumped over your lips and you mouthed his name softly « Seongje… »
He sounded utterly unstable.
Curiosity got the best of you. You stepped aside slowly and risked a glance through the side window for a quick peek of him. You promptly stepped back into the shadow, the vision unsettling.
Messy hair. Disheveled clothes. Frantic movements. Eyes so dark they appeared black. You couldn’t resist another look. You watched as he cursed and ran his hands roughly through his hair, finding the culprit for their unruly state.
You’d never seen him in such a state, his demeanor habitually apathetic. Some twisted part of your relished at seeing him like that. Perhaps it was time he experienced a bit of karma. He deserved some of the chaos he unleashed onto others to find its way back to him.
You’d probably never admit it but Seongje knew how to read you about as much as you knew how to read him. His accusations were only halfway wrong. While you didn’t and wouldn’t use other guys as a weapon, he wasn’t far off on the rest of it. You did grow to enjoy riling him up a bit. It wasn’t always like that.
You weren’t always like that.
Regardless, as time went on, the habit grew until it finally stuck. Time passed and he was still withholding the words you so desperately needed to feel safe. So in turn, you started looking for ways to be reassured he did care.
Somewhere along the way, you’d started equating his outbursts to the proof that you mattered. You craved the comfort in his soothing touch when you finally got to be together again. In the end, you’d reached a perilous balance where the bigger the spiral gets, the gentler the aftercare is. The deeper his love feels.
With all the time you’d had on your hands the past few days, you’d realized that side of yourself scared you the most. A facet of your personality only brought out by him. The idea of being just as much of a poison to him as he was to you… that thought kept you from opening the door.
Your neighbor shrieked from his open kitchen window « I’ll call the police right now if you don’t leave you little shit ! »
You observed as Seongje bent down, picked up a medium sized rock and threw it on your neighbor’s door. The impact left a dent in it, visible even from a distance. He stood there motionless for a minute, taking in the gash in the wood. Robotic steps pulled him away, and he was gone as quickly as he’d appeared, not sparing a glance back at your door.
You sat right where you were, your back against the wall. Mind made up.
You had to talk to him, this needed to end before either of you were irrevocably changed. Or worse, before anyone ended up seriously injured, an innocent casualty in your venomous routine.
FRIDAY.
Finally, nothing.
Despite you slowly weaning yourself off of him, the relief never came. The void his withdrawal left in your heart depressingly large.
After a full day of moping, your phone buzzed with a text and your heart soared. When you saw the texts were from Sara, it deflated completely and you set the phone back down, your hope squashed. Then you felt a little guilty and picked it back up.
Girl.
You finally ready to talk about it or what ?
😞 Do I have to ?
Bitch. I’ve been patient enough. It’s been a week and I don’t even see you at uni anymore. Talking about it will be healthy, come on you’ll see.
Healthy for you or for me ? You gossip
Who says it can’t be both ?! 😒 Come on.
Snacks are on me. Found a new cafe downtown. we can go tomorrow.
Say yes ! Pretty pleeeease 🥺
Fine.
Yaaaay !
(Don’t know if it’s too soon, but you’re getting about as polite as your boyfriend. Dry ass messages and all)
🖕🏾
💕
You smiled as you set your phone down. Leave it to Sara to bring a bit of warmth back into your day with such a short interaction. Along with something to actually look forward to.
Baekjin sat at his desk, working on his senior year memoir when his door opened without warning. He didn’t look up, finishing his paragraph, the scent of smoke rising into his nostrils. He would only let it slide because this was Seongje.
When he was done, he coolly capped his pen and set it down on his desk. He looked up to find Seongje watching him.
« You rang your highness ? »
« Seongmok called. »
Seongje stared, not even a hint of remorse showing on his face « Ok. And ? »
Beakjin’s patience was wearing thinner by the second « Seongje-a, you’re aware we’re just trying to intimidate the late payers right ? »
« Ok. And ? They’re intimidated alright. Trust. »
He set his head against the edge of the couch, playing catch with the baseball sitting on the glass table.
Baekjin’s jaw clenched « And, we want to intimidate the late payers, not scare all the potential clients. You go around breaking kneecaps and clavicles, no one will approach us. Having three of my best guys fighting in front of them sure doesn’t help either. Not really good for business. » The words came out clipped.
Seongje pulled on the cigarette sticking out from between the side of his lips. His answer given with a cloud of white smoke « Roger that. Are we done here ? » He hadn’t even bothered to flick the ash hanging perilously at the end of the stick. The heavy grey residue fell onto the couch next to him.
Baekjin’s eyes followed the dirt on its path to the sofa. His voice was icy when he spoke again « Go home. Shower. Stop smoking so damn much. Get a fucking grip Seongje. And some sleep while you’re at it. »
« Fuck you » He discarded the cigarette in his mouth. Rudely stomping the butt with his shoe, and pulled another one out. He made a show of lighting it straight away.
« Leave. You’re not working tonight. Matter of fact, don’t come back until you’ve settled whatever you’ve got going on. » With that, Baekjin picked his pen back up, and continued his work, officially dismissing his friend.
Seongje chuckled and stood « Whatever. » He tossed the ball on the table lazily and left the bowling alley.
SATURDAY.
Sitting across from Sara in the stylish café, you were grateful that this hell of a week was finally over. You went over the details of the fight, giving her a play by play of its aftermath. You’d finished the tale just in time for your orders to be placed in front of you. Sara stared at you mouth agape, as you wasted no time and dug into your chocolate pie.
« Wow. One thing’s for sure, your man is definitely something… » You nodded, head down.
She snorted and you looked up, perplexed as to what was funny « Admit it though, it’s kinda hot… »
« Sara. » the look you gave her was dry and she rolled her eyes playfully
« What ? Just imagine the make up sex following that. Whew. » She leaned toward you, lowering her voice « Can I hide under the bed when you do it ? I swear I’ll be quiet »
« SARA. I literally just told you… This can’t go on any longer. »
She gave you a dubious look « Yeah, right. » You glared at her, her skepticism nearly theatrical.
You choked on your next bite when you spotted a familiar figure entering the cafe. Sara twisted around, then turned back to you. She pursed her lips, impressed « Speak of the devil… you tell anyone we came here ? » You shook your head.
Seongje’s gaze found you straight away and he marched ahead. He plopped right next to you on the plush bench as if he was part of the plan all along. Your friend gaped at his audacity.
As for you, you could tell he was containing himself when his arm draped on the top of the seat behind you. He normally wouldn’t think twice about settling his arm directly on your shoulders. That little detail, paired with the lack of mirth in his eyes, betrayed his current stress.
Perhaps he was not feeling as cocky as he liked to pretend he was.
Your boyfriend was used to commanding a room, effortlessly bending the people in it to his will. But today, he appeared careful in his own way. Like he wanted to make sure that although he forcefully broke the no contact streak you put up, he still respected the boundaries you set somehow.
« Hello there stranger. Long time no see. » The words didn’t match the harsh way he said them. His blank expression made it unclear what was running through his mind now that he could finally talk to you.
You looked away, staring straight ahead. Your friend pursed her lips, a nervous snigger leaving her mouth « Hi Seongje, we were actually in the middle of something here. »
He gave her a pointed look. She stood and looked at you, shrugging « I tried. You two obviously have a lot to talk about, I’ll see myself out »
You threw her a betrayed scowl as she got up and she arched a brow « Sorry but he’s clearly not going away. » She turned to your boyfriend and gestured at the items on the table « You’re paying by the way. »
He nodded, unbothered.
You pouted at her until she got out of the cafe. Seongje casually picked up your spoon and tasted your order. This had you glaring at him as he chewed, his brows raising in surprise « Mmh this is really good pie. Fuck. » he took another bite and you tore your fork away from his hand.
« Yes. Which is the only reason why I’m not getting up and leaving right now. » You pretexted. It was complete rubbish, you did want to see this confrontation play out. The renewed contact was both unsettling and electrifying.
So you continued eating, pretending he had no effect on you, hoping he didn’t pick up on the nervous tremor in your hand. He stared at your mouth while you ate, his tired gaze full of heat.
« Ah, she speaks. Fucking finally. » His nose twitched, and he ran a hand through his hair.« Really ____ ? A whole week and you couldn’t be bothered to answer even one goddamn text ? Ironic coming from the queen of healthy communication » He made obnoxious air quotes and you narrowed your eyes at him. He went on « I didn’t even know whether you were OK or not. Not fucking cool. »
The public setting was both a curse and a blessing as the two of you were required to behave. You didn’t trust the words that came to you not to make things escalate just yet. So you said nothing, buying some time with a leisurely sugary bite.
He gulped, growing jaded after the week-long silent treatment « Oh come on ! I barely put a scratch on the guy. You’ve seen me do worse. Need I remind you I punch people for a living. I know my strength, he’s fine. »
« Oh great. So you could’ve killed him but it was no big deal because you didn’t mean to truly hurt him ? Is that it ? Should I just believe every word you say and run with it ? Or would that make me… stupid ? No, what was it you said again ? Oh yeah, naive. » You tilted your head.
He ran a palm across his face, his teeth clamping down on his bottom lip hard. You thought you saw his ears turn pink before he shook his head.
When he spoke, his tone was defensive « You just want to argue with me. From the moment we entered the bowling alley that evening, you had already made up your mind. You wanted to fucking do this. Admit it. »
You turned towards him, heat enveloping your head. You dropped your fork abruptly, the clattering drawing attention from the only other occupied table of the section. The measured breath helped you reign yourself in, your head cooling back down.
« You are so damn insufferable Seongje, truly. You’re lucky this pie is so good, I swear I could’ve smeared it on your stupid face the way you’re pissing me off right now. »
He stared, immobile, his gaze antagonizing.
« Ok. You know what, very well. » You decided to play his game.
You took an exaggerated look around, landing on the barista at the far corner of the café. You pointed at him then turned back to Seongje « Maybe I can go hit on the barista now then ? » The provocative words were said eagerly, your smile cartoonish. Seongje barely reacted, his flared nostrils the only hint of his rising annoyance.
« You know, since I’m a manipulative, teasing cunt. Hell, that’ll even give you an excuse to beat someone half to death for funsies today too ! Then the two of us can go right back to ignoring each other. We can meet back here same time next week. Since apparently I enjoy that so much. Deal ? » You mockingly held your hand up for him to shake.
He rolled his eyes at your antics, but put his palms up, conceding. His back was against the wall and he knew it. He went quiet, the telltale sign he knew he was playing a losing game. He glanced out the window, regrouping, and you did the same.
You heard him steal the fork back, and his subdued voice broke the silence « Come on ____. You’re not stupid. You’re top of your class. And probably a genius. I know it. You know it. Whole school knows it. » Your eyes followed his strong hands as he cut a huge part of the pie. You noticed the scabs on his knuckles.
« Second, I didn’t call you all that. You’re certainly not a cunt, and i never said you were manipulative. »
You waited a beat. « You’re not denying the tease part ? » You looked up to his mischievous smile
« Now why would I deny that ? Thought we were being truthful today. » He readjusted his glasses and winked.
He picked up the piece he cut, not bothering with the fork. He put it whole in his mouth, licking his fingers clean in a suggestive motion.
Just like that he managed to rope you in, your attention briefly straying. You focused on his pretty face and plump lips, missing them on you. Seongje was a charmer. He knew that for you, the praise coming out of his mouth was addictive, tasting sweeter than the treat you were both enjoying. He noticed the slight glaze in your eyes, your hostility faltering for a second. He took advantage of the pause, the arm he still had behind you creeping closer to you. His hand started rubbing sensual circles on your shoulder.
You didn’t pull away. Not immediately.
It took a second for you to snap out of it. To think back to your whole week, trying to find the courage to address everything you realized while out of his magnetic grasp.
« I guess I can try and catch up to one of the girls in their group to console me. » The sentence broke through the haze and you shrugged his hand off. Your demeanor far colder than before, you picked at the leftovers in your plate, your appetite curbed by the nauseating memory.
Your tone was dim as you redirected « I wasn’t trying to pick any type of fight. We got to the bowling alley and a migraine hit me. I didn’t push the guy away because I barely even heard what he was saying to me. You intervened just as I was telling him I had a boyfriend. I didn’t want the evening to end as it did and it wouldn’t have if you’d been just a tad bit more patient. And less paranoid. » He heaved out a sigh, his head going down. Whether out of annoyance or out of exhaustion, you had no clue. But he didn’t have a snarky comment to shut you up this time around.
Feeling emboldened by his lack of comeback, you used the last weapon in your arsenal « I guess at least I’m happy for you. » His head went back up, his expression one of confusion. « You know. I guess you got to finish the night in good company, with little old me gone and out of the way. I bet the ladies were very eager to make you feel better. » You stared into his eyes. You didn’t want to miss any micro expression or reaction to this particular topic.
He chuckled, but the sound came out rough and without humor. « Stop acting like you don’t know I wouldn’t do that shit ____. »
« Oh but I don’t know anything Seongje. I can only take your word for it. » The double meaning was obvious.
He rubbed the back of his neck, the motion rough, his foot tapping incessantly under the table. A tiny growl left him and he took off his glasses. He laughed again, taking his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. « I don’t know what you want me to say. »
« I think you do. »
« I was talking out of my ass ____ ! »
You let the silence speak for you.
« I didn’t mean that. Fuck, I barely even like people. Haven’t looked at another girl like that since you walked in that fucking cursed place all these years ago. You know I didn’t mean it. » He took hold of your chin and tilted your face gently to his « I’m too fucking obsessed with you for that, Princess. » His eyes were yearning, his voice softened.
Your heart raced as you finally assessed him.
To anyone else, he probably appeared confident : hands in his jacket pockets, his walk lazy, his presence assertive upon arrival.
Sitting here up close though, it was another story. There were hints that the fued had taken its toll on him. His hair was even messier than the day he swept by your house, a sign that his hands had most likely spent a lot of time running through them. His posture was more exhausted than the usual confident laziness he exuded, his shoulders sagging slightly. The table was still subtly shaking from the frantic tapping of his foot. Frowning, you noted his eyes were way more prominent than usual, the dark under eyes making them pop against his pale skin. Undeniably, what you mistook for agitation watching him from a distance, strongly resembled extreme exhaustion from this standpoint. He looked like he didn’t get a good night’s sleep the entire week.
After an excruciatingly long pause, you caved and gave a timid nod. He exhaled. His foot stopped its stomping rhythm.
He leaned towards you, and after a short hesitant beat his fingers found your thigh slowly. You didn’t push him away, and soon, you felt his lips against your cheek. His entire body relaxed, melting against you, the tension leaving him all at once.
He gave you that look again. The one that haunted you each time he called you this week. The one that held all the important words without him ever having to actually open his mouth and actually say them. His own twisted version of them anyway.
This was as close to a sorry as you were going to get…
His kisses trailed from your cheek to the corner of your lips. You closed your eyes, your thighs closing around his hand, your breathing shallow.
« Don’t ever say that shit again. Never again. »
He nodded, the hand he had behind you finding your neck, pulling your faces closer together. His words blew softly over your lips « Never again. Let me make it up to you ? » He gently bit your lip and you settled your hand on his forearm, the move failing to ground you. Goosebumps spread on his arm upon contact.
That single touch ignited your entire nervous system, the shockwave felt through your whole body. You truly relaxed for the first time this week. You’d indulged in your fair share of treats, none of them providing the rush his embrace sends through you.
You hated that he has so much power over you. Resent your body for caving every time.
The conclusions your mind had worked so hard to reach, forgotten. Thrown out of the window.
A song and dance you both practically know by heart by now.
Yet every single fight you have, he wonders whether this time would bring you the last piece of the puzzle, crucial for you to make out the full picture and finally see him as unworthy. Finally make you pull away for good.
And during each clash, you find yourself hoping this time would bring him the realization that he could open up to you, and you’d accept his truth without judgement. That you wouldn’t see him as weak. That he was allowed to experience and express guilt. Remorse. Accountability… Love.
In the end, the two of you always end up right here. In each other’s arms, hanging on for dear life.
The hand on your thigh inched dangerously towards your panties and your shaky breath hitched « Seongje… »
You looked around, your hold more of a grip on his wrist now. Neither pushing him away, nor pulling him in. Simply holding onto him. He shushed you « They can’t see under the tables, I didn’t realize you were wearing a skirt until I sat beside you. Let go Princess. » He said the next part low in your ear « You’ll just need to be really quiet. Can you do that ? » The vibration of his voice shook a whimper out of you.
You hesitated for a couple of seconds before you submitted. You released him. Given free reign, he continued the path toward your core.
« Your skin’s so soft, I’ve missed you very much you know ? Been yearning to hear your pretty voice moaning my name » You tried to focus on his words but they were lost to you. The sound of your own heart beating, mingling with the ambient noise of the café, too loud for you to concentrate.
When his fingers reached inside your panties, landing on your clit, you hummed and buried your face in his neck
« Seongje… Wait. » You failed to suppress a moan. Your thighs started to close once more, the sensations too frenzied. He kissed your temple « No, sweetheart keep your legs open. »
You obeyed and he rewarded you with a gentle rub « That’s it, just like that. That’s my good girl. » He murmured against you, prompting a shiver.
The pressure coming from your clit climbed steadily, your nipples hard against your top, your summit near. He rubbed your wet skin, going lower and lower, inching towards the place you felt most empty.
He withdrew his hand from between your thighs and you failed to suppress a whine. One second he was pressed all up against you, his finger hovering near your entrance, the next his body was barely touching yours.
You opened your eyes abruptly, your breaths ragged, flustered beyond measure.
You looked up, frustrated, just in time to see the waitress headed for your table « Everything ok here ? »
Seongje smiled far too innocently and picked up the last piece of pie, putting it into his mouth with the same wicked hand he just used to tease you. He licked the finger he’d almost had inside you « Everything’s perfect. Found my favourite treat. The pie is divine too, I might have to come back here some time »
« We’ll be thrilled to have you two back ! Have a great day ! » She took the plate while you kept your burning face in the crook of Seongje’s neck. When she left, you hit him on the chest and let out a nervous laugh « And you say I’m the tease… »
He shrugged « Takes one to know one. »
You hummed and he sighed contentedly « Come home with me. »
You hesitated and he pressed « Come on. The pie’s not the only thing you didn’t get to finish. Let me make it up to you. »
You giggled at that « You’re corny as fuck you know that ? »
« Only for you. Come on. » He got up and offered his hand. You looked at it then reluctantly took it and he pulled you to your feet.
You walked out of the café and came face to face with his bike. You scoffed « How am I supposed to get on dressed like that ? »
He didn’t respond, getting settled. He held his helmet for you to take, leaving you no options.
You huffed and grabbed it but instead of letting it go he pulled hard, dragging you straight into his chest with it. He kissed you hard and deep, before barely pulling back « It’s a 10 minute ride, you can rub up against me if you want. I don’t mind. Don’t cum until I tell you to though. Unless you want me to crash us both. » He murmured onto your lips.
You gripped his jacket « Don’t joke about crashing. I already told you it’s bad luck. »
He tapped the bike « You’re saying this because you’re scared of this thing. Have a little faith. When have you ever not been safe with me ? »
That was a loaded question.
Physically, never. Seongje might be intense and kind of an asshole, but he’d always made sure that if anything, you were always out of harm’s way.
Emotionally though… You never feel as vulnerable as you do when you’re with him. He lights you up in a way you didn’t know was possible. Meeting him had ignited a fire in your heart you didn’t know you possessed.
You’d just like to know whether the flames would be contained to solely keep you warm, or if they would eventually entirely consume you until only ashes remained.
He cradled your face, tearing you out of your own head to meet his searching gaze. Your eyes softened, aiming to reassure. This time you initiated the kiss, both of you getting swept away until you moaned and he groaned « Get on. The quicker we’re gone, the quicker I get to touch you. All of you. » His hand gripped your butt briefly before releasing you.
You gulped and got behind his back. He turned on the bike and you whined, the rumble of the motor and the feel of Seongje between your open legs creating an intoxicating mix.
He rubbed your thigh softly « Hold on tight. »
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/n ~ I know I’m being just as much of a tease as Seongje here with the tiny bit of smut 😈
Part 3 is cooking and coming by the end of next week hopefully 💕
amandla
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