kayy

[kayiskrazy]

Lost in February

lost in february (where the winter air stays)

|| this story is about a boy (Eun-woo) likes a girl (ji-won) and they both liked each other but never confessed. Then they move on with life and they find each other again.||

||doomed love, let me know if this is good or not||

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pairing: Eun-woo, Ji-won, Jungwon, Anton

Eun-woo x Ji-won

genre: young adult, romance

wc: 5.7k

warnings: mention of death, hospitals, emergency surgeries

a/n: i wrote this years ago, if it’s bad i’m so sorry🫩😣

playlist:

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As I stepped through the hospital doors. Rain hit the pavement hard, and memories washed over me, capturing moments of laughter and joy that felt distant and close. Each step down the street reminded me of her warm smile, eyes shining in the sun, and our quick time together. I recalled a pink Hello Kitty hair clip she used to wear, which seemed to brighten up her whole face. However, a goodbye never came, leaving an echo of silence in my heart. The further I walked, the more I absorbed myself in our shared past, clinging to each thread of memory.

"Hey Eun-woo, wait up!" I hear my name in the distance. I try to make out who it is, but the rain makes it hard to see. I keep hearing him call out my name, and finally, I can make out who it is.

"Jungwon? What are you doing here this late?" I'm asking, but I'm struggling to process what happened.

"Eun-woo, are you okay? It's four in the morning. What happened?" Those words keep replaying in my head over and over. Am I okay?

I burst into tears and started telling him everything from the beginning to now.

I just started my Junior year of high school in San Francisco. "Only two more years left," I tell myself. I walk in and see my buddy Jungwon. We have been friends since the very start of Preschool. We exchange schedules and make our way to our first class. We surprisingly are in the same class. Math, which sucks. Math ends, and we make our way towards the cafeteria. Jungwon said that this girl in my class kept staring at me. Her name is Kim Ji-won.

As I walk around to find a seat, someone hands me a letter. It was her. I look around to see her again, but she's gone. I glimpse a pink Hello Kitty hair clip holding papers together. I open the letter, which reads,

"Hi, you might remember me, or you might not. But your smile tells a thousand stories, and I would love to hear every single one. Your eyes shine like the northern star, and I would get trapped in them, sailing to try and find that star. I like you, and I hope you feel the same. Love, Ji-won."

Shock fills my face. I do remember her from Preschool, but is it really her? I look around again, but still, there is no sight of her. I give the letter to Jungwon, who beats me and says, "I told you she kept staring and smiling at you; you should talk to her."

As I'm still thinking about that, I think, "She's pretty, yes, but this is weird."

I received a letter from her daily; some read a lovely letter, and some just explained that she liked me. It was winter, the weather was gloomy, and it predicted snow would soon come. February was my favorite month. It gets cold, and it's a short month. I was planning on asking Ji-won out. I've felt something in my chest since I got the letters. I would light up and feel special. Today was different. The air was still and empty. I get to school and get this wave of worry in my stomach.

I explain to Jungwon, "Something is gonna happen today; I feel this wave of fear."

Jungwon reassured me it would be okay and helped me to our first class. The room kept spinning, and I felt like I was going to be sick, so I asked to go to the nurse. I went to the nurse, who gave me some medicine while letting me rest for a minute. After a while, I started to feel better and thanked her for helping me. It's lunchtime now, and I'm getting excited about seeing Ji-won. My anticipation and excitement were noticeable as I looked forward to our meeting.

I approached Jungwon's table, waiting patiently for my letter. Jungwon noticed me waiting and said, "You like her, huh? You're waiting around like a puppy trying to find its owner. "He laughed to himself.

Lunch is almost over, and there's no sign of Ji-won.

"Maybe she's out sick today?" Thoughts filled my head left and right. I asked Jungwon to ask her friends if she was sick or somewhere else. As he walked away, I got the same feeling I had in class—this time, it was worse. I saw him talking to her friends; they were upset and hugged each other. I tried to distract myself by eating, which didn't do me justice.

I see him walking back to our table, and he looks sorry. He explained, "I'm sorry, but Ji-won left for Seattle last night. Her family got a job promotion, which would help her family out."

All the color left my face. I'm left still, aghast, expressionless, and hurt. Why didn't Ji-won tell me in her letters? Who am I going to look forward to in the mornings?

I run to the bathroom, Jungwon chasing after me. I start to let out everything. Tears ran down my face as Jungwon screamed at me to stop. Finally, I ended up on the bathroom floor. Tears staining my face.

"Shush, it's going to be okay. She'll come back, or you could go to her," he comforts me. We sit there in silence, and he texts my mom to come and get me. My mother arrives, and Jungwon comes with us. He's explaining what happened, and her heart breaks too.

She starts, "It's gonna be okay, Eun-woo. After high school, you can see her. Remember, you're young. You have a whole life ahead of you."

She's right. I relax and let her out of my mind.

I get home and unpack my bag from school when something in a light pink envelope appears. I opened it, and it was another letter from Ji-won,

"If you are reading this, I left. I'm so sorry I didn't get the chance to tell you. I thought that in your eyes, you didn't see me like that. And when you didn't give any reaction when you read my letters, I took that as a sign and decided to leave. Thank you for keeping my letters and reading them. In a different life, we ended up together. In a different life, I wouldn't have lost you in February. See you hopefully again, Eun-woo. Love Ji-won."

Tears fill my eyes as I read this. I promised myself that one day, I'd meet her again and make her mine.

I continue to work hard in school, having that letter in my bag every day, making sure I do not forget about her. Finally comes the day I graduate, and Jungwon is by my side, but she isn't. I talk to Jungwon about the future and what we wanna do. He wants to become an idol, which suits him. I wish him luck with that, and we go our separate ways. I go to my car and cry. That's all I can do. If only I could change the past, I'd be with Ji-won.

I go home to pack for Seattle. I got back at least one of the letters she had given me. I took one last breath in my old house and left while starting a new chapter in my life.

Five years later

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After college and much hard work, I've finally made my dream come true: to be a Surgeon. My mother needed surgery on her arm because, as she grew older, she developed a tumor there. Our city had no good surgeons and no money to leave our state. I promised her I would be the best surgeon for her and others. Unfortunately, that was one promise I couldn't keep. She passed away a year ago, and it was one of the most challenging moments of my life. Afterward, I decided to move to Seattle. They have a fantastic hospital there. While here in Seattle, I've gotten to experience so many different places and see all sorts of people. I unpack in a small apartment, and I start organizing things.

All the memories start flushing back when I come across a pink envelope. Her. Kim Ji-won. Tears cascade down my cheeks, each drop heavy with the weight of unforgotten memories. I find myself wondering, "Does she remember me?" But deep down, I already know the answer: it's been five long years since she walked away. I wish she could understand just how sorry I am for everything. The emotions I experienced when she left flooded back, overwhelming me like a tide. I can still vividly picture her warm smile that could light up the darkest room and how her beautiful, expressive eyes sparkled joyfully. That pink hairclip. Every detail lingers, a bittersweet reminder of what once was...

I get a phone call from an unknown number, and I pick it up, curious to know who it is.

"Hello, is this Eun-woo?"

How does he know my name?

"Yes, it is. Why?"

I'm not great at keeping information to myself, so it's reasonable that someone could have gotten my number, but I'm still pleasantly surprised.

"Hey, it's me, Jungwon! How have you been?"

Shock overwhelms me, and I leave the phone call hanging.

"Jungwon? Is it really you? I miss you so much. How are you? What are you doing now?"

I ask, tears streaming down my face.

"It's me. I'm doing well; I've debuted in a K-pop group!"

I wipe the tears from my face and respond, "Congratulations! I knew you would."

I put myself on mute to blow my nose, and he added, "Thank you! Are we able to meet up sometime? I really want to see you."

"Uh, yes, we can! When are you available?"

"Well, I need to check my schedule, but I'll let you know as soon as possible."

"Okay, just let me know. Am I still able to contact you?"

"Yes, we can still contact each other. If you ever need to talk to me, just text or call, and I promise to respond to the best of my abilities."

His words bring tears to my eyes again.

"Okay, Jungwon, I'll talk to you later."

"See you soon, Eun-woo. Bye!"

And just like that, my room falls silent once more. I wish I could have spent more time with him.

A few hours later, I was called into my boss's office for a discussion.

"Hey, you wanted to speak with me?" I asked.

"Eun-woo, we have a patient from Paris, France, who requires spinal surgery. Will you be able to perform it?" my boss replied.

"Yes, I can do that. When is it scheduled?" I asked, fidgeting with my hands. I couldn't help but think to myself that I had never performed this type of surgery before.

"It's scheduled for two days from now. Let me check my calendar... Yes, the surgery will be at 7 a.m. on Thursday."

As I walk out of his office, I thank him, still fidgeting with my hands at the thought that If I make a mistake, my patient could end up paralyzed.

It's Thursday, the day of the surgery. The surgery looms over me, and I can feel my nerves tightening with every step. I've only read about spinal surgeries in textbooks and watched videos, but now it's real. I can't afford to mess up.

I push those fears aside as I meet my patient before the operation. As I go through his pre-op chart, something catches my eye. Anton. I glance back at his face, and the world seems to stop momentarily. It's him—Anton.

I can barely believe it.

"Do you remember me from preschool?" I ask, my voice trembling.

He looks at me, brow furrowing, then pauses for a second as if digging through a forgotten part of his mind. Finally, he responds, "Maybe...It's been a while; what's your name?"

I smile a little nervously but ease at the same time. "My name is Eun-woo, Cha Eun-woo."

His face lights up with recognition. "You're joking, right? Eun-woo... Wow, I remember you! All those fun times in elementary school." He laughs, the sound warm and familiar.

I can't help but laugh, too, though it's tinged with bittersweetness. "Been a long time. Now, here I am, about to do your surgery. Spinal stenosis, right?"

"Yes, that's right. Thank you, Eun-woo." His voice trembles slightly, and tears well up in his eyes.

I pause, feeling the weight of this reunion. "Anton… I'm sorry I left you back then. I didn't… I didn't know how to say goodbye."

His tears slip down his face, but he smiles through them, his voice soft. "It's okay. Life took us in different directions. But I'm glad to see you again. And… I'm glad you're the one doing this surgery."

The operating room is cold, but it's still everything it's supposed to be. But no matter how many times I've scrubbed in or surgeries I've done, there's always that moment before it settles in my chest a heavy, unshakable stone.

Anton is under general anesthesia, lying there wholly unaware, not knowing I've never done this. The rhythmic beeping of his heart rate monitor fills the silence, steady but loud in my ears. I recheck his chart. Spinal stenosis. The procedure seems straightforward, but the spine is a delicate thing. A mistake here could change a life. It could take away someone's ability to walk. My mind flashes to the images from textbooks—those that now seem so much more terrifying when they're real. I erase all those photos and take a deep breath in. I got this.

My breath is shallow, and my hands tremble slightly despite all my training.

I glance over at the surgical team. Dr. Lee, my mentor, has an unreadable expression, but I know he's watching me closely.

"Ready?" Dr. Lee asks, his voice calm and steady.

I nod, taking a deep breath in. "Ready."

With steady hands, I make the incision, carefully cutting through the layers of tissue, feeling the warmth of the body beneath me. I don't let my mind wander; I stay focused. The nerves that had been chewing at me, I settled into the rhythm of the operation.

Anton's spine is more delicate than I expected. My hands move with accuracy, guided by years of study and practice. The surgery continues step by step, each more intricate than the last.

I'm so deep into the procedure that it feels like the world is just me and Anton. I don't think about the past, or I just think about Anton—his life, his future—and what I need to ensure he walks out of here in better condition than when he arrived.

As I make the final adjustments to the spine, the nerves start to ease. The stenosis is cleared, and the pressure is lifted. The procedure is a success.

Once the surgery is finished, the room will be whole again. My surgical team will be standing by my side, congratulating me collectively.

Hours later, as Anton slowly wakes up from anesthesia, I'm by his side, monitoring his recovery. He opens his eyes, squinting at the bright light. He opens them slowly and looks at me, unaware of what happened.

"How are you feeling?" I ask, rechecking his vitals.

A deep breath escapes his lips as he shifts in bed, the sheets rustling around him. He winces in pain and murmurs, "It hurts," his voice strained.

A sense of relief floods through me. He's moving his legs. There's no paralysis.

I give him a reassuring smile, though I can feel the weight of exhaustion beginning to settle in my body. "It's going to hurt for a while. You're doing well. The surgery went smoothly."

Anton blinks, then looks up at me, his expression softening as recognition dawns. "Eun-woo… You really did it, huh?" His voice cracks slightly. "You really fixed me." Tears staining his face. Still in pain

I nod, swallowing down the lump in my throat. "You'll be up and walking in no time, Anton. I'm glad we finally got to reconnect. Even though it's not the perfect connection."

His eyes mist over, and he smiles through his tears. "I never thought I'd see you again, let alone have you fix my back." He pauses, his voice tinged with gratitude. "Thank you, Eun-woo. You've given me back a future."

Tears prickle the corners of my eyes as I try to hold them back. I did it for Anton.

After a few weeks of physical therapy, rest, and medication, Anton can finally walk straight, and it's comfortable for him. He asked me if we wanted to go out for coffee and talk about how we had been. He is still in some pain, but he says, "It's manageable." A thought runs past my head, or you could call it a "flashback." I remember him mentioning his back in Preschool. He always said it was manageable and just brushed it off. Looks like it got worse as he grew older. I brush that thought out and help him walk back to his bed. I've been helping him since he's been discharged from the hospital.

"Eun-woo, why did you move away," He asked, daring not to look at me

"I moved because that city was never for me and my mom. I'm so sorry I left," I explained to myself.

"It's okay, as long as you are happy."

Anton and I are going out to dinner. It's been months since he last had his surgery. He's been doing fantastic—or so I thought. We've been going out for coffee every week, and I've been checking up on him—not as his doctor but as a friend. It's the day of our dinner for the week. I text him, "Hey, same time as usual?"

"Yea...I might be late, but I'll show up."

"Okay." Something isn't right, but I brush it off. I get there around 7 p.m. and check in. They lead me towards our normal sitting area. I thanked them and ordered water.

15 minutes later

I see him walking inside and checking in. The limp's more noticeable now; that will become standard one day.

As he walks toward the table. He stumbles and runs into some empty tables; the air goes still. My eyes follow him, but he pauses just as he's almost at the table.

My heart skips a beat, a cold terror grasping me. He goes still, slightly shaking, and then—he falls.

All the color leaves my body as I move to help him. I screamed out to call 9-1-1; I tried asking him, "Are you okay? Can you hear me?" trying to get my words out without stuttering. To my horror, he doesn't answer.

As I'm trying to position him in a safe position, thoughts wander through my head. I knew something was wrong. Why didn't I say anything? He seemed fine before. I shake those thoughts away and start compressions. Someone yells out that 9-1-1 is on their way. Everything goes quiet as I go in to hear him breathe. Nothing. I freeze. Please, no...Breathe, Anton, please breathe; tears streaming down my face as I'm doing compressions. 9-1-1 is here, and they're telling me to move over and that I did a good job. I'm shaking as the thought of him being dead washes over me. I wipe away my tears and try to breathe, but I see the Paramedics shaking their heads and lifting their hands from him.

"NO, PLEASE, I can't lose him too.." Someone is holding me back as I try to get loose from their grip and run to him. I saved him once, so why can't I save him again? They carry his limp, still body to the ambulance. I come with. Crying, why did this have to happen. I thought he was okay. Why didn't he tell me...? I hold his hand the whole way there. Our last and final moments together.

I'm in the room with Anton, still, cold body. Tears are staining my face. The doctors are asking questions, trying to find out what happened. Turns out he had infected tissue. I can't help but blame myself. I'm the one who performed the surgery.

"Time of death, 7:30 p.m." The doctor says. I can't help but let it all out. Everything hurts. The doctors provided me a chair and asked if I could call anyone to bring me home. I tell them no, and I can walk home. That's what I do. I pick up all my tears and walk out the hospital doors.

It's raining hard while I'm walking home. All my emotions poor out, I scream, yelling at the sky, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIM. I get home, and I text Jungwon.

"You might be busy, but I just lost a friend of mine that I performed surgery on. I think it's my fault, and I don't know what to do."

I say as I get tears on my phone.

"Eun-woo, I'm so sorry that happened, but it isn't your fault. You couldn't control what happened after that surgery. You did your part. Which was probably amazing." He said almost identity after I sent that

"I know, but I was looking after him, and everything seemed fine."

"You can't predict the future. Sometimes, things are beyond our control, and it's important to remember you gave your best effort."

That makes me feel better. Yes, I tried, and it succeeded, but something had to go wrong.

"You're right. I did try, and I helped him."

"Good, just keep telling yourself that, and I promise this will all pass soon." He says. I can imagine how he says it. He always had to say that to me; I have always been sensitive, and he was always there to comfort me.

2 months later...

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It's been a month since Anton's funeral, I'm still not over the fact that he's gone, but I have to try and put it past me. My boss calls me and says, "You can come in today, but we are having some tech problems; I know they're your favorite." Laughing to himself

"Okay, I'll be there, bye," I say as I hang up the phone. As I pack my stuff for the office, I bring that pink envelope; I carry it everywhere.

When I get to the office, everyone runs around the hospital, frustrated. It may be the technology issue, I joke to myself. I go and greet some patients, "Good morning. If you follow me to the back, we'll get you checked up for a pre-op." I'm not the one doing the surgery, but I still get to make sure they're able to have it. As the doctor walks in, I walk out. Dr. Lee took my spot, which I'm not mad at. Dr. Lee asked if I could get him a coffee, and I promptly accepted. I needed to get out of there. It's been hard getting patient information when almost everything we use is technology, and it has to be down.

As I get to the coffee place, I place my usual order. Dr. Lee never said what he wanted, but I'll just get him the same thing as me. As they call my name, I get the order and sit down. I'll tell him they were busy. I don't wanna go back just yet. As I'm sitting there zoning out, I hear the door open *Whoosh* a breeze outside comes in. It's a woman and a guy; I keep looking at them cause it has just been me and the baristas. I look back at my drinks and realize they spelled my name wrong, but it's okay. It happens all the time. I look back up, and the man is gone. The woman goes to the pick-up area and waits. "Order for Ji-won," the staff calls out. My heart skips a beat as I look closely at her. She has a pink Hello Kitty hair clip in her hair. As I watch her, she suddenly looks back at me, and the color drains from her face. I try to get up. "Ji-" I stop; the man, who I think is her boyfriend, steps right in front of her. She moved on.

"Are you ready?" The man asked. His voice sounded familiar to me. As they walk out, Ji-won looks at me one last time. Again. I sit back down, heartbroken. As I brush off what just happened, I return to the office.

After the café incident, I kept seeing her everywhere. My neighborhood, the grocery store, out on the street walking. I'm not sure why I kept seeing her, but I took it as a sign to go talk to her.

"Um, long time no see, literally." Okay, that was a stupid joke. Why do I have to be this way?

"Hi, Eun-woo, it's been a long time. How are you?"

I nod my head as I say,

"Yes, it has, I'm doing okay; how are you?"

"I'm doing pretty well; sorry I didn't say anything at the café; my brother got in the way." I sigh, relieved.

"I didn't know you had a brother; I didn't know you much, now that I'm thinking about it."

"Yeah, I wish we had gotten to know each other more...Wait, do you wanna talk over lunch?"

"I would love to," I say, stuttering; she walks by my side and smiles. We make our way towards a lunch place I've never tried. I don't remember the name well, but it was delicious. She orders, and I can't help but stare at her in awe. Why didn't I talk to her before? When she gets done, she looks at me and waves me to come and order. I paid for our meals, and she said she had it, but I wouldn't let her settle, especially after all those years.

We talked while eating, and her gorgeous smile warmed me up. Her eyes shone against the sun. Again, I can't help but just look at her. Admiring what she is now. She has always been beautiful, but I wasn't mature enough to admit that. We start cleaning our messes, and we leave. I walk her home because she lives right down the road from me. I wave goodbye and wish her a peaceful night. As I made my way to my house, I got an idea. What if I write a letter to her, explaining myself for all those years. I unlock my door and run to my room. I sit on my desk and begin writing.

I keep throwing out papers. They don't sound good. It sounds like I didn't care at all. Until I breathe, I tell myself you got this. Just breathe.

"Dear Ji-won,

Over the years, I've been contemplating if you still remember me or if you were mad at me. So many stories I made up in my head. I'm so sorry for our high school years. I liked you, but I never showed it. I wasn't mature enough to, and I regret it. Let's start talking again. I promise I will be a better person. Love, Eun-woo." I sighed as I finished the letter; I started worrying that it wasn't long enough, but it was okay. I explained myself. I'll give this to our barista. Looks like I'm still not mature enough to give it to her.

I hand the letter to the barista, and they say we'll ensure she gets it. I head to the hospital and can only think about the letter and what she will say. I'm not ready for another surgery, so Dr. Lee suggested that I go help the nurses. I nod to his request and go down to the nurse's department. After a long day helping the nurses, I decided to go to the café. As I placed my order, the barista handed me a pink envelope. I completely forgot about that. I was so focused on work. I get my order and sit down. I open it, and it reads,

"Hi, Eun-woo, I got your letter, and everything is okay. I'm not mad at you. But we should talk more. Meet me in the forest in the park tonight at 9 p.m. Love Ji-won." My heart beats as I walk out of the café. I don't even grab my drink. I speed walk home; people look at me weirdly, but that is the least of my problems. I got out of the hospital really late. 8:30 p.m late. Crap, I'm gonna be late. I looked at it in my bag, and I had a cologne. I spray on that and thank those above us for putting that in there. I'm dressed comfortably, so I don't need to change. I head that way, and it's only a 10-minute walk. That will leave me time to calm myself down.

I go down the trail and see the park, but it's blocked off by ambulances, fire trucks, police officers, and more. I get that wave of fear and nausea in my stomach like I did the day Ji-won left. As I make my way over there, I try to give them some room, but to my horror, I see a pink Hello Kitty hair clip. I run to the scene; officers are holding me back. To my right, I know the man Ji-won was with. I run to him, not even caring that he is here out of nowhere. We hug for the first time in years. I needed this hug. Looks like he did, too. I pull away, wiping tears, and ask him, "What happened?"

"I don't even know; she just dropped to the floor. My sister, man." He says, crying.

"Wait, your sister?" I pause, tears staining my face.

"Yes, she was my sister. She left for Seattle because she thought you didn't like her like she liked you. Every night, she was talking about you. Your Eun-woo, right? She was planning on meeting up with you."

"Yes, I'm Eun-woo, but what," I asked, air escaping my mouth, confused.

Paramedics come up to us and ask if we wanna come with them. And I both get in the bag and hold her hand. The paramedics acted as if I wanted to perform the surgery. I say yes while looking at the man. He nods his head. He has hope; I do, too. As we get to the hospital, I help the paramedics roll her out of the ambulance. "Wait in the lobby, The man; it will be fast. She'll be back with us." As I get ready for this operation. All nerves that were here are gone. I need all my focus; I can't lose her again. I get in the OR, and I'm ready. I ask, "What am I performing on?"

My team looks at each other. Dr. Lee steps up and says, "Her spine."

I miss a breath. I brush all the traumatic events from Anton. I put all my focus on this.

"Ready?" I ask, confident. They all nod their heads.

Ji-won is under anesthesia and lying there. This time is different. This isn't a spinal surgery. This is internal bleeding I have to fix. A mistake here could cost a life. I tell myself, I got this.

My breath is easy and calm. With steady hands, I make the incision, carefully cutting through the layers of tissue, feeling the warmth of her blood. I don't let my mind wander; I stay focused. I keep going. Trying to make this stop, but I can't. The blood just keeps coming.

"Her heart rate is dropping, Eun-woo," Dr.Lee says

"Please stop...Please." I say, tearing up.*beep*.

"Time fo death, 9 p.m." I raise my hands up from her body, tears running down my face. The other doctors come and collect her once-filled with life body, but now lifeless. I make sure to grab her pink Hello Kitty hair clip. I put it in my hair. I also cut a bit of her hair off for her brother.

"Do you want me to tell the man out there?" Dr.Lee asks,

"No, I'll do it," I say, wiping the tears from my face.

I walk about, thoroughly preparing for what will happen after I tell him. I think he knows already.

"Um, I-"

"I know, it's okay. You tried your hardest. Please just sit down with me for a while." He interrupts me. As I sit down next to him, he hugs me, "Thank you for trying, at least." We sit and cry for what feels like hours. I asked him, "I didn't get your name. Also, do you need a ride home?" I ask after blowing my nose. I hand him the piece of her I cut for him,

"Thank you. I always admired her hair. She always kept it healthy. Also, I don't need a ride, so I'll be fine. Thank you. My name is-" He pauses after getting his phone. He answered it and excused himself. I never heard from him again.

I go into my office. I'm sitting down, just thinking about how she's gone. She was right there, right in front of me. I kept thinking about what I could do now, and I thought of writing a letter to her. She won't be able to read it in person, but maybe in the afterlife. I grab a piece of paper and a pen and start writing.

"We planned to see each other again, Ji-won; why did you leave? Another promise I couldn't keep. If only your surgery had been successful, you would've stayed just a bit longer. I wear your pink Hello Kitty hairclip. Your brother has a piece of your beautiful brown hair. I never got his name. I wish I did. If only we got to know each other a little more. You will always be my number one girl. I'll miss you for all eternity. I'm always thinking of you, and I always have been. I promise I'll see you soon. This is just the beginning of our tale. I won't lose you again like I lost you in February. Goodbye, Ji-won. Love Eun-woo,"

I finish writing while holding it close to my heart and slowly closing my eyes. All the memories flooded my mind. As I walk toward leaving the hospital.