pairing: Raleigh Carrera x MC; Avery Wilshere x MC [Cadence Dorian]
warnings: angst?
wordcount: 1k
Prompt: God only knows how much I’d love you if you let me
But I can’t break through it all
–
He didn’t see you as a superstar material.
No doubt you were an amazing singer, but not a superstar. Or maybe that’s just him projecting what he wants on you. He didn’t want Hollywood to ruin who you are. And after being in the industry for how many years he knows that its what its gonna do to you.
A part of him did not like Fiona’s PR stunt but he’ll be damned if he didn’t say that those times with you aren’t the best moments in his life.
Funny how he felt most alive and real while in a fake relationship with you.
the absolute poetry of the raleigh route… the first time that mc can fuck them, it’s pretty early into their fake relationship and happens in a planetarium, under fake constellations, rushed because they have to get back to the event before their absence is noticed, and they have’t yet acknowledged their feelings. the second time it’s literally under real stars, their fake relationship has ended, they’re in private so there’s no pretending that what they’re doing is for the media, and they’ve acknowledged their feelings… anyway i love parallelism as a trope bye
POV: You're a successful doctor, going to work and honestly, my brain is empty and I can't come up with a creative caption. Bryce has that effect on me.
@little-froggy @desskryze
For anyone who wants to support me, please consider visiting my Ko-Fi. Thank you, I greatly appreciate every kind of support! 💕
Hi, i really love your writing! I absolutely adore the stories you write and you have gotten me through quarantine!! Do you mind writing some angsty sexy fic with bryce x mc? (only if you want to xx)
he can feel her eyes on him where he’s standing at the bar, and it’s more than mildly distracting; he’s trying to talk to a girl. but it’s pretty much impossible knowing casey’s looking at him, and infuriating that he can’t do anything about it other than try to ignore her.
if they were somewhere else, he just might think about walking over and asking her what her problem is. he just might take the opportunity to remind her that it was her who’d ended things between the two of them -- that it was her who hadn’t wanted to make things official, to tell their friends, to meet each other’s families.
but they’re not somewhere else. they’re at the bar they always hang out in with everyone they know. and everyone they know has no idea that they were hooking up and aren’t anymore.
and most of the time he wishes he didn’t know about it, either. most of the time it’s too difficult to be around her because all he can remember are the mixed signals she’d given him -- all he can remember are all the things she did that made him think she wanted to make things official, to tell their friends, to meet each other’s families.
casey used to smile at him so widely her whole face would scrunch up with it. now when they cross paths at the hospital she barely even looks at him.
...she is looking at him now, though.
he can feel her eyes on his back, and they feel annoyed. if he were a different person, bryce probably wouldn’t let his confidence be bolstered by her jealousy, but he’s not, and so it is -- knowing casey’s watching him makes him preen a little, and he’s all the more charming for it. it’s only a minute before the girl standing in front of him is giggling, touching his arm and twirling her hair.
he leans in closer and she looks up at him from under her eyelashes. it’s been a while since he’s had a sloppy bar makeout -- he is an adult, mostly -- but one of her friends comes over before he can go for it, and she makes her apologies, passing over her phone instead.
they exchange numbers even though he has no intention of calling her, and then she leaves. bryce grabs another drink from the bar before wandering back over to the booth where his friends are sitting.
“you strike out?” jackie asks, arching her eyebrows at him. “she was hot.”
he shrugs bashfully, deliberately not even glancing casey’s way. “her friend had to go. got a number, though.” bryce slides into the booth, looking around at everyone else. “what’d i miss over here?”
jackie sighs, lifting her glass to her lips. “just casey, blabbing about work again.”
“casey can hear you, you know,” she laughs. bryce caves and sneaks a glance at her, trying to ignore how pretty she looks in the low light of the bar.
he looks back at jackie with enough time to catch her smirk. “i know.”
“whatever.” out of the corner of his eye, he can see her tilt her head back to drain what’s left in her beer bottle. “i have an early morning tomorrow, i’m going home.”
sienna frowns from across the table. “alone? you shouldn’t walk by yourself.”
bryce averts his eyes as fast as possible, but he isn’t fast enough. sienna turns her frown on him. now that she’s looking at him, there’s no way out of it -- at least one that won’t make what happened obvious to everyone.
he used to walk her home all the time, after all.
he clears his throat, trying to act normally, though it’s suddenly difficult to remember what his normal is even supposed to look like. “i’ll walk with you,” he offers, shrugging as casually as he can manage.
finally, bryce turns and meets her gaze head-on. the sound of his pounding heart is loud in his ears. for the last month or so he’s been doing his best not to look casey in the eye unless he absolutely has to, and now that they’re standing there staring at each other, he remembers why that is.
she seems to realize she’s in the same uncomfortable position he is, and nods. “okay, that’d be great. thanks.”
fortunately, no one else seems to notice anything’s amiss as they say their goodbyes and leave. bryce shoves his hands in his pockets when they step outside, so he doesn’t try to reach for her -- it’s impossible not to remember all the times she immediately slipped her hand into his as soon as they left wherever they were together.
they start off down the sidewalk in silence. it’s after midnight and the streets are quiet, the sound of the wind the only noise between them.
if she isn’t going to say anything, he isn’t, either. bryce stares ahead resolutely even as casey shivers and draws her thin jacket in tighter around her shoulders.
they’re already almost halfway back to her place when she finally says, “so, are you gonna go out with that girl?”
her question catches him a little off guard, even though he knows he should know better by now. casey’s always been bold. “uh, maybe.”
“maybe?”
bryce frowns, reaching up to push a hand through his hair. “why?”
his eyes cut to the side, and if he didn’t know any better, he’d say that casey’s cheeks were suspiciously pink. he hurriedly averts his gaze. he does know better.
“just wondering.”
stop, his brain screams at him, don’t. it’s only going to bring unwelcome trouble into his life -- he knows that -- but bryce can’t stop himself from reminding her, “i can go out with whoever i want.”
she huffs. he watches casey wind her own arms around her waist, her shoulders drawing in against the wind. “i know that,” she answers defensively, like he’s said something negative about her, somehow. in a way, he knows he has.
the part of him that’s still angry with her for being so fucking unfair meanly continues, “and it isn’t any of your business.”
the moonlight reflects off her cheekbone when she turns her face away from him. casey’s glaring at nothing on the other side of the street. “i know that.”
“okay, so i don’t know why you’re asking.” admittedly, it feels really fucking good to argue with her. he’d been stunned when she’d broken things off between them -- stunned and upset; he hadn’t had the energy to fight with her, then. the conversation they’re having now feels long overdue.
they turn onto her street. casey finally looks over at him, scowling. “can’t i just ask you a question? we’re friends, aren’t we?”
bryce laughs under his breath, shrugging his shoulders at her. “sure.”
“do you have to be like that? i’m just trying to talk to you.” in tandem, they both slow to a stop outside of her building. he looks down at his sneakers, scuffing the toes against the curb. “i don’t want things to be weird between us.”
well, maybe you should’ve thought of that before, he thinks spitefully, in a way he’d never say out loud to her. he frowns.
“bryce.” the sound of her voice makes him sigh. even when she’s at her most infuriating, he never actually wants to make her upset.
he lifts his eyes to look at her and regrets it immediately. if casey was pretty back at the bar, it’s nothing compared to the way she looks under the lamppost on the sidewalk, her eyes wide and pleading, her hair soft around her face.
he can’t look at her and not think about all the things he would’ve done differently if he’d known that the last time they were together was going to be the last time.
and even on a good day he’s wildly impulsive. so on a night as strange as tonight -- there’s no stopping himself from leaning in, grabbing casey’s face and pulling her into a kiss, pressing her back against the light pole.
she sighs like she’s relieved, and he files the sound away to think about later, when he’s inevitably lying in bed tonight and staring at the ceiling, trying not to think about the way she used to murmur his name in her sleep sometimes when she stayed over.
for now, he has other things to think about. for now, all of his focus is on the way she’s opening up against him, grabbing at his jacket to pull him in closer, tipping her head back against the lamppost and pressing their bodies together tightly.
casey kisses him like she’s got something to prove, and he goes with it instead of stopping to try to figure out what the hell is going on. he moves in as close as he can get and knocks her legs apart to step between them, bold enough from the few beers he had to roll his hips forward steadily into hers.
the moan that escapes from her mouth into his feels unnaturally loud in the quiet stillness of the street -- not that he cares. that’s another thing that feels cathartically good -- not worrying about who sees them, for once. not having to feel like she’s too afraid of someone they know finding out.
his teeth sink into her bottom lip and bryce drops his hands from her face down to her shorts; they settle on the waistband of her denim cut-offs and pull, crashing her hips forward into his.
casey’s back arches up off the lamppost in a perfect curve, squirming against him with another little whimper. her hands reach up and settle in his hair, and he kicks her feet apart to give himself a little more room, pleased when the movement makes her hold still. through it all, she keeps kissing him hungrily.
bryce can feel his lungs burning, begging for air -- but he knows he’ll regret it if he pulls away. the moment between them will be over, then, and he’ll be forced to accept it for what it is: just a moment -- nothing more.
he’s not ready. he’ll just pass out from kissing her -- it’s fine.
she yanks back with a gasp, though, making the decision for him. the back of her head knocks into the pole and casey stares at him with her eyes wide, sucking in deep breaths.
bryce does his very best to keep his eyes respectfully on her face, but it’s hard when her chest is rising and falling rapidly with the effort of getting air in. when he can feel every inch of her against him where she’s yet to move away.
plus, looking at her face is... troublesome. it wears on his already thin self-control.
he casts around desperately for a way to extend the moment -- ideally forever -- but comes up empty-handed. casey’s hands fall to her sides, and she looks away, swiveling her eyes to the stars above their heads. “sorry.”
right. he forces his own hands off of her, stuffing them back into his pockets, and takes a measured step back, putting some delicate space between them. “don’t sweat it.”
his voice is about as forced-casual as they come, but what does she expect when she’s standing there in front of him, hair mussed and lips red, eyes bright like they used to be when she wanted him, back when she still did --
“bryce...” she licks her lips. there’s something so unbearably dangerous in her voice. something that’s going to keep him fixated when he’s been trying so hard to get on with his life, even if the prospect of a future without kissing and touching her seemed depressingly bleak.
“casey -- stop.” he rubs at his forehead, looking at the brick building behind her instead of at the expression on her face, whatever it might be.
it’s probably not worth getting into it with her. he shakes his head. “i’m gonna go. i’ll see you tomorrow.”
before he can get even a quarter-turn away from her, she reaches out and grabs his arm, stopping him. “bryce,” she says again, though her voice is softer, this time. pleading.
the fact that he still hasn’t found a way to say no to that voice is concerning.
he makes the fatal mistake of looking at her.
they stare at each other in the street and he tries not to let how hard this is for him show on his face; judging by the look casey gives him in return, he’s sure he fails miserably.
this sucks.
casey’s cheeks flush pink when she looks down at where her fingers are closed around his forearm. she drops him, then says, “i really am sorry.”
yeah. “i know.” it’s not like it matters, though. it’s not like it changes anything.
he clears his throat and then turns away again. this time, she lets him go, and he makes his way back down her block to the main street that’ll take him to his own apartment complex without looking back over his shoulder once.
no bc choices and reading books have really just taught me that my type is sarcastic dark-haired characters w light eyes and bonus if they’re sort of cold but have a soft spot for mc. IM LOOKING AT U ETHAN, NOAH, RALEIGH, BLAINE AND SO MUCH MORE
the ANGST of todays chapters specifically THAT LAST CHAPTER I-
i for one FUCKING LOVED being able to read the other characters’ POVs ouuuuiee let’s revisit some moments from today (including snippets for all LIs if you romance them):
bryce caring about you so much that when he finds out you’re in danger for the first time EVER his scalpel shakes... bro... that shit... whoa. the fact that you were 1st thing that came to mind when he heard about your patient and him asking if you’re okay and then just wanting to run to your side when he finds out you’re not:((((( and then when he does see you he manages to be the reassuring and comforting bryce you need even in the face of so much fear. boy do we love him😪
so much ethan angst.... him trying to remain calm but looking at you countless times with his face etched with so much worry, you can only imagine how scared he was thinking that he might lose the literal love of his life and he didn’t even get to completely be with them.... and when he admits he regrets pushing you away he explains how this all just made him wish he just held you in his arms every day☹️... and we all know that man was damn close to saying he loves you i fuckfingng AHH
i also LOVED that as ethan we got to tell sienna we have feelings for mc like i kinda loved that whole entire interaction?? ethan confiding in mc’s best friend about his feelings for them? that was some good shit @pb
sora confronting raf like they know he’s still into you and you were who he probably thought of when he went in the room to help🥺 AND SORA BREAKS UP WITH HIM AND HE BARELY GIVES A FLYING FUCK BECAUSE HE KNOWS HIS HEART WASN’T IN IT BECAUSE IT’S WITH YOU SHDJDK GUYYYSYSYYSYS
also raf’s not moving anymore? a major W 🤩 CONGRATS RAF STANNIES
if you chose jackie to stay the night with you, everytime you flirt with her she just says “shut up” GOD DAMMIT THAT’S SOME CUTE SHIT! the banter is so good it makes you smile like an idiot but it’s mixed with concern as she explains she has complicated feelings about this all because you guys have this “thing”😌🥰
Thank god I read the spoilers from this chapter earlier, because I don’t think I would have been able to handle thinking Rafael was going to tell me he broke up with Sora, just to find out he’s leaving.
