damaged

@kayleb: *at home pouting 6 hours after visiting the aquarium* brother: what did you think a tiger shark WAS, kayleb... @kayleb: idk about you guys but i'm pretty stoked i don't have to wear pants bc my shirts are so big

[kaylebisms-blog]

 bennettcook:

“I just spent the last ten minutes looking for my phone while I was on the phone. It’s been that kind of day.”

“did the same thing a few weeks ago. only it was my daughter i was looking for. and the entire time, i’d been talking to her and going ‘where’s gracie? let’s go find gracie’, and i was holding her,” she said with a sigh. “it was one of those days. we all get ‘em.”

[kaylebisms-blog]

@kayleb: the minion’s had a good couple days. those lil teefers just kill me.

[kaylebisms-blog]

 wtfbrinlcy:

“i’m sure we can find some cute, little independent toy store in the mall or something. i bet a lot more of them will pop up now.” brinley let out a surprised gasp as her friend admitted she’d never been to build-a-bear. “kay, we have to go build-a-bear now! we can even make one of those ones with a custom sound for gracie. it’s a life changing experience and i don’t think anyone can be truly alive until they have to the heart placing ritual.” she laughed, picking up gracie and placing on her lap, slightly bouncing her legs for the baby. brinley probably wouldn’t ever say it out loud, unless she was drunk, but have gracie in her life made everything that had happened after her mom left a lot easier. she wasn’t sure how angels worked or anything, but she had some suspicions that the child sitting on her lap might actually be a true angel. “that kid splashed her on purpose and you know it. she was a brat and she deserved to get called out. besides, are we even allowed at any of the water parks around here?”

"there's always k.b. toys, but i got in a fight with one of the employees in high school because i 'stole' her man, but honestly, i didn't steal anything, he hit it because he wanted to," she said. "okay well, when it's not so busy we'll go cause i don't wanna lose my kid in a seven-mile line." kayleb watched as gracie babbled, sucking on her thumb as she leaned back to look at her mother's friend and gurgling loudly. "okay, but you can't cuss at kids that aren't yours, that's highly frowned upon and that mom was big, she looked ready to kick both our asses. probably not, cause auntie doesn't know how to mind her words and temper, huh fat girl?" she asked as she pinched gracie's thigh, earning a laugh.

[kaylebisms-blog]

 rrcna:

“ yeah …. that just sucks a lot. at least you get the chance to give them the best kayleb hug to them outside of school. they can’t say something about that, can they ? because that’d be just ridiculous, ” she shrugged her shoulders. “ they even give you cute nicknames ? can this even get any cuter ? ” rena was in such an awe as the older female told her that her students had been calling her kay kay instead too. “ god forbid. i’m pretty sure they will know what to do … i mean … jason is really the sweetest, he’d probably do anything for his little niece gracie. i mean who wouldn’t ? she’s such a cutie and god i’d definitely love to babysit her sometime. so if you ever need a babysitter or a day for yourself alone, know that i’m definitely willing to ! ” she smiled widely. rena listened carefully as the older female told her about her labor experience. “ gosh kayleb …. i wish i could’ve been there for you, ” feeling extremely bad about the fact that she had to do such a thing alone. “ you’ve done all of this in fifteen minutes ?! that’s so fast. i’ve heard that labors take hours, sometimes … ”

“oh, yeah. i definitely hug my kids. i’ll be damned if they tell me i can’t hug my own daughter though. she’ll be in my class and if she gets hurt, i turn into mommy, not the teacher and i will be issuing her some comfort snuggles and kisses,” she said. “well, some of them i knew before i started teaching them, so i was already kay kay to them.” kayleb smiled and nodded her head. “they really are amazing with her, i’m definitely lucky to have them,” she said. “well, labor took about... seven-ish. but once my water broke, she was out within fifteen minutes.”

[kaylebisms-blog]

 nadiaxocastillo:

nadia was on a walk around the block; trying to soak in as much vitamin d as possible when she walked past where kayleb, and her daughter were enjoying the sunshine. “because yes is so much more fun then no,” she smiled as she walked towards them. “she’s going to have the soul of an adventurer when she’s older,” she plopped down on the grass beside them. “she’s going to do amazing things with her go get um attitude,” she was sure of it. “your dog is so precious by the way. i want a dog more than anything, but i’m not quite sure if my husband would be on board for it.”  

“she’ll think that when i get her butt,” she said as she grabbed onto gracie’s overall strap when she tried crawling away, which only made her fuss. “you have to stay around mommy minion, you can’t crawl off all willy nilly,” she said as she placed the baby on her opposite leg, just making her cry. “that’s enough gracelynn, you’re fine,” she said with a small sigh. “oh, she definitely is. she’s gonna be a little hoodlum.” kayleb smiled and pet the dog’s head. “i’ve had him since he was six weeks old. he’s ten now.”

[kaylebisms-blog]

 wtfbrinlcy:

sure, brinley probably bought way too much stuff, and some of the toys she bought were much too old for gracie, but who could not splurge when the sells were making things basically less than two dollars maximum? not brin, that’s for sure. “i hope some other iconic toy store opens up for her generation,” she made a face at gracie, “because it’d be lame if she didn’t get that experience.” she said while sitting down. “okay, so maybe i want to go build-a-bear. i haven’t been there since i was eight years old and i really miss putting that stupid little heart in all my bears. no one likes getting splashed in the face, kay. we should take her to like some kiddie amusement park or something. we could get her some cotton candy, i bet she’d love it.” brinley waved at the baby, smiling as she did so. “hi little missy, do you wanna go to build-a-bear? or do you wanna go to the splash pad?” she said, using a higher toned voice while talking to the baby.

"yeah me too cause now that it's shut down, i have to find a toy store i like for my own enjoyment." she may have been twenty, but kayleb was still a child at heart. she still enjoyed little stuff, like watching cartoons and coloring, and the one activity she liked the most? finger painting, because she liked making pretty messes and seeing gracie full of paint was entertaining. "i never got to go to build-a-bear. but it's not eating at me. maybe when she's older though, cause i'm sure there'll be some creepy looking one that's scare the shit out of her and scared babies is always funny." kayleb smiled as she watched gracie babble, managing to crawl out of her lap and over to brin. "if we take her to a water park you can't be yelling at kids for splashing her. water gets splashed, she'll live. she splashes herself on purpose."

[kaylebisms-blog]

sitting out in the front yard seemed like a good idea at first. it would give gracie fresh air, room for the dog to run around, she could relax. but it was proving to be difficult when gracie kept pulling on the dog's tail. "i dunno why you keep confusing 'no' with 'yes'," kayleb said as she tapped gracie's hand. "but mommy said stop pulling on goliath's tail, it's mean," she said sternly, pulling her daughter away from the great dane, who curled up beside her and plopped his head in her lap. "she's gonna give me a run for my money as she gets older," kayleb said with a small sigh.

[kaylebisms-blog]

 wtfbrinlcy:

brinley strolled into one of her closest friend’s house with a large tote bag in hand. she greeted the other members of the hendrix family as she made her way to her destination of kayleb’s bedroom. she lightly knocked on the door before opening it and walking in, placing the bag she had been carrying on kayleb’s bed. “okay so you know how toys r us is closed down, right?” she skimmed through the bag as she spoke. “well, i got the gracie not only the cutest clothes, but i got her probably so many toys she won’t need anymore until she’s ten.” brinley pulled out of some of the toys, placing them in a pile. “oh, and i think we need to take her to somewhere like build-a-bear because they’re having a good sale right now.”

@kaylebisms

kayleb looked up from nursing gracie as brin walked into the room, raising a brow at the bag because good lord how much stuff does an eight-month-old need? "yeah, my heart is broken because i loved toys r us. can you believe the giraffe shut it down? huh? you would've loved it," she said, lightly pinching gracie's cheek and getting a small giggle as she continued eating. "okay --- build-a-bear has lines longer than my hair, and i can't stand in a line with an eight-month-old for fifteen years, so if there's an online option then absolutely, but she's not even gonna have fun because she won't be able to build her own bear. we should take her to the splash pad though. when she gets splashed in the face it's the best," she said as she looked back down at gracie. "auntie's here, minion," kayleb said, and let out a small giggle when the baby stopped nursing and tried to sit up.

[kaylebisms-blog]

 rcsemacpls:

“I swear I thought being a young mother would be hard, but living near your family’s home has it’s perks, like drinking tonight? I swear I haven’t gone out with other young adults since two weeks already.”

“yeah, try over a year,” she said, switching her eight-month-old daughter from one hip to the other. “i mean --- i could ask someone to babysit --- but i’d honestly rather be at home with gracie. i never was one to go out much unless it was to a party, and the last time i did that, she showed up forty weeks later.”

[kaylebisms-blog]

 lilithcrvzpls:

“I was at the mall today after work and believe me or not what happened then. A kid, I swear he was like twelve or something, came up to me and asked me if he could touch my boob for ten bucks. What happened to this generation?!“

“they’ve become ungrateful, disgusting heathens because that’s what their parents are.”

[kaylebisms-blog]

 ortcgas:

shifting uncomfortably in his seat, michael stared at his laptop screen for what felt like hours. he’d been itching to write something for weeks, but no matter how motivated he was, he’d always end up drawing blanks. with a disgruntled sigh and his eyes still fixated on his monitor, he took a sip from his cup of coffee, only looking up when he hears the sound of footsteps approaching.   “   hm?   ”

“sorry,” she said, hoping she hadn’t bothered him. “i uh, left my diaper bag here earlier, it’s over in the corner and i can’t quite reach it without getting up close and personal and that would be uncomfortable. would you mind...?” she asked, gesturing towards the diaper bag.

[kaylebisms-blog]

the birth | self para

who: kayleb what: gracie’s birth when: october 31, 2017 where: kayleb’s bedroom

"god, oh god," kayleb whispered as she sat on her bed.

she'd been in labor for a few hours now --- but she didn't realize that it was labor until her water broke, which was roughly fifteen minutes ago. she tried getting a hold of her family, and she finally got one of her brothers to pick up and told him to notify the rest of the hendrixes. she also called her midwife, but she lived forty-five minutes away.

she wasn't supposed to be having her baby yet. she was still three days from her due date. but also, it was fucking halloween. who goes into labor on the best holiday of the year?

she couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that she was about to be a mother at any minute, mostly because the pain in her back and her vagina was blocking any thought process other than 'get this baby OUT of me'.

she knew it was getting close. she knew she should have called everyone when contractions started. but she also thought she'd have time. she'd been told that first time mothers usually have long labors. if seven hours was considered long, she didn't want to think about what a short labor would be.

sitting was uncomfortable. it was pinching a nerve and making her legs feel staticky, like the black and white peppered snow on a tv. so she stood up just long enough to slide her underwear off before she hoisted herself back on her bed, staying on her knees and facing her head board. she knew she'd definitely need something to squeeze without breaking it.

she put her weight on her legs and let out a slow breath, growing slightly more nervous when the discomfort between her legs started getting painful, like she she was being stretched far more than she was used to. a hand curiously made its way in between her legs and she gasped at what she felt. it felt like a tumor was coming out of her body --- so that had to be the baby's head and now it was too late to turn back, this baby was coming out regardless of whether her midwife or family were there.

a whimper escaped kayleb's throat, knowing she couldn't hold back from letting the baby arrive and the urge to push was getting so strong she almost couldn’t stop herself. so, she stood on her knees, held the headboard, and pushed.

she pushed until she couldn't breathe, which made her breathe heavily for a few seconds before pushing again, this time experiencing pain she'd never felt before.

"okay..." kayleb whispered. "alright, we can do this. it's just me and you, so go easy on me, alright? you're my first, i'd like you to come out healthy with ten fingers and ten toes."

another breath, another push, and a grunt. okay. that was a little more painful.

she reached down to feel again, and it felt like the baby had protruded even more. which she assumed was a good thing.

whimpering, she pushed again, longer and harder this time and finally gasped in pain, letting out a sob she didn't realize was at the back of her throat.

she felt again, her fingers running over something bumpy --- so that must have been her baby's face. she could tell just by feeling that it was so much more prominent and because as much pain as she was in, once the head came out, she had a small sense of relief but knew the hard part was coming.

so, clutching the headboard again, she took a deep breath and pushed --- and immediately regretted it because it hurt more than the head coming out.

"okay... we can do this, kiddo," she said. she didn't know if she could do it. she had to, but wasn't nearly as ready as she thought she was.

kayleb pushed again, letting out a short scream when she felt a pop, looking down but unable to see anything but the fluid that was leaking out of her and making a mess on the bed. "oh god, please be okay..." she whispered.

she grunted with another small push and soon enough there was another pop. it had to have been the shoulders. she couldn't see past her belly, but that's what it had to have been.

"alright baby girl, work with me here," kayleb's voice cracked. "i'm trying really, really hard to be brave here, but i don't even know if i'm doing this right or if i'm hurting you, so help me out okay?"

her hand felt around for just a few seconds to realize that both shoulders here in fact out of her body --- so she released the headboard and got her other hand between her legs, making sure one was supporting the baby's head and the other close to one of the shoulders to ensure this baby wouldn't be dropped while she gave birth.

she took in the deepest breath she could and pushed harder than she had been. a few seconds later, a guttural grunt came from her mouth as all pressure and pain went away, and there she was.

kayleb looked down and there her baby was, in her hands. a smile on her face and a sob that escaped her throat, she carefully lifted the screaming baby up, finally getting a good look at her.

"oh my god, hi,” she said between a laugh and a sob as she tried her best to wipe the baby’s face off, only smearing the mess around instead. “hi baby girl, we did it... we did it, we’re okay...”

and even though she was missing halloween, her favorite day of the year, she couldn't care less about the holiday. she was just glad her daughter was in her arms, crying her little lungs out.

[kaylebisms-blog]

 rrcna:

“ that’s just the most stupid rule i’ve ever heard ! every teacher should be able to show how much they love their students ! honestly if it was up to me, i’d give them all a hug as they enter the classroom … make sure they get enough vegetables. are you even allowed to do that ? they’re such babies, they need to be held and be protected, ” rena pouted at the thoughts of not being able to just tell the students how much she loved them. “ you’re such an amazing teacher, kayleb. i really admire you as a teacher but also as a mom. you’re just doing so well, ” rena shot the older girl a small smile. “ you really teach them the first things about life and before you know they’re grown up, ” the smile that was on rena’s face never left especially when she mentioned how much gracie loved her uncle’s. which was understandable. jason was the sweetest and most caring guy she had ever met. she didn’t knew baby that much, but she had heard such great things about him. “ she’s so lucky to have them as her uncle’s ! ” she smiled widely, her smile slowly fading as the reality hit her hard again. she yet had to tell jason about their little bundle of joy too. her smile was then replaced by a worried facial expression. “ wait …. WHAT ?! you were all by yourself when you gave birth ! ” she was in complete shock and instantly felt bad for going through something like that all alone. “ i’m … i’m so sorry … if i knew you before that time i’d be there for you hundred precent ! ”

"i don't like it, but the school boards are against it. i mean, i can hug them. it can't be too long, i'm only supposed to pat them on the back and move on. outside of school is different, when i see them out in public and they come up to hug me i definitely give them the best kayleb hug i can. it helps that i'm friends with most of the parents, so it's not like 'oh my god my kid's teacher just picked him and hugged him'. some of the kids know me well enough that i have to correct them in class to call me 'miss kayleb' instead of just kayleb or kay kay," she said with a nod. it made her feel like she had a superpower when she thought about how much she actually taught her students. she taught them manners, how to be polite, how they should ask kids that are by themselves if they want to play. she taught them everything she could think of that wasn't in the curriculum plan. "she is. i know if anything happened and i wasn't able to take care of her anymore, they'd know what to do. i almost feel like i take advantage of them. they've never complained about it before, but i ask them to watch her a lot," she said. kayleb nodded again. "oh, yeah. i mean, it wasn't on purpose that i was alone. everyone was out doing things they needed to do when i went into labor, and once my water broke, that's when i started calling to get them home. it took a while to get a hold of them, but i was laboring so fast, in the span of the fifteen minutes that i called them and they got home, i already had her."

[kaylebisms-blog]

 phoebedoyle:

“i get that but i mean all i’m saying is, you can’t constantly watch the kids in your class all the time.”she spoke softly, chewing her lower lip.”i mean, like, as long as they’re not hurting each other then there isn’t a problem in my books..but you know, everyone is different and kids learn at their own pace.”

“i know that. it just sucks that even with me watching them, shit happens and they still end up hurt. my students are my kids. they’re my responsibility. being a teacher, any type of incident could be cause for termination. it’s not like babysitting and you go to the bathroom and when you come out they’re on the ground crying because they jumped off the coffee table and hurt themselves. schools take injury way more seriously than that, which is why i’m so against the scissors, because injury will happen to more than just the kids last year. it’s complete bullshit that i can lose my job over an accidental injury with something they require us to teach with.”

[kaylebisms-blog]

 rrcna:

“ but why ? i mean i can see what’s wrong with saying ‘i love you’ to your students ? … that just shows how much you actually care for them and how much you see them as your own children. what’s better than having a teacher who’s taking care of her students like a mom would ? all those parents are for sure so grateful and thankful to have you as their students teacher, i bet they don’t even worry anymore as they leave their child for school, ” it was true. rena couldn’t think about how parents must feel when they have to leave their child for school while the children are protesting to let them go, but knowing kayleb was the one who would be looking after them would probably give them some peace of mind. “ that would be so great, honestly —- i don’t know really what i want to do for the rest of my life just yet. i mean, i work at a bakery right now and i really love to bake but … i’m not sure if that’s what i want to do for a living, ” she explained. “ wait …. that’s your baby he was babysitting the other day ?! oh my gosh – she was such a cutie ! now i know where she got all that cuteness from ! ” rena smiled widely at the girl. “ that sounds really painful. do you think … but every woman’s pregnancy is different, right ? ”

"because of all those stupid student-teacher allegations. we can't show how much we actually love our students because then we'll be accused of molesting them," she said with a deep sigh. "i treat these kids the same way i treat gracie. i would never treat my kids any less than i treat her. i want them all to thrive and learn from me and it be beneficial, i want them to think back when they're graduating from high school and remember that aside from their parents, i'm the one that started it all for them as far as their school education goes." kayleb couldn't imagine being just another preschool teacher. she did her best trying to be the best, which included one on one time with all of her students, treating them like individuals, helping them when it's needed, asking them if they want help rather than just taking over, and just the little things she does to help empower them and make them believe in themselves. it wasn't just about the arts and crafts to her, it was about molding them into these amazing tiny humans that would someday be amazing successful, important people in the world. "well, the school system is a good start. the kids grow on you really fast." kayleb smiled and nodded. "yeah, that's gracie. the boys have her all the time, she loves her uncles. jason and baby are her favorite people, honestly," she said with a small laugh. she nodded again, a small hum escaping her lips. "mhm. every pregnancy is different. every labor is different. every situation is different. you can't have your own expectations based on someone else's pregnancy. i can promise you it won't go the same way. and hopefully no one's delivery goes the way mine went because i was all by myself when i gave birth. i was home alone, it was the most terrifying thing in the world."

[kaylebisms-blog]

@kayleb: she's contemplating on moving out because i wouldn't let her eat an old piece of moldy bread i found under the pad of her high chair.

[roleplaymemesforyou]

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