I dont think people understand what actually goes on in the minds of autistic people. I am going to share with you a recent experience that I hope helps people understand more. There will be no name-dropping or anything that could give out details about these people. This is also an apology for any of the people I hurt.
My school's music program was at an amusement park recently, and a famous influencer was there. During that time, a few.of the people from our group got pictures with them. Another person had told me (with no proof, which i should've asked for before jumping to conclusions) that they were taking pictures of the person all throughout the park. Based on what all of the other people around me were saying, they didn't actually do that.
During a break in our park time, I stupidly went to a group chat, that had those people and others, and asked them about it. I should have directly messaged the people in that group instead of bringing to ~12 more people that weren't involved. I didn't understand that until I was told that by one of the people in the group, which they were very kind in telling me.
One thing about me is that a post a lot of my life on social media. I have many different accounts across various platforms, and it helps with my anxiety, if I can see that people agree with me. I ended up going to tiktok and posting a thought, that said that people shouldn't follow influencers around, because I thought people would relate to that.
After the initial text in that GC, I left it, because people immediately jumped up and started dogpiling me, which was understandable, given the situation.
After that day, I thought everything was over.
Today, someone texted me, who was still in the group chat, saying that people were taking everything way too far. I didn't think much of it, I mean, people make fun of me all the time, thats the norm for our age group these days.
Screenshots got sent to me, and I didn't know people were still so mad about the incident.
They honestly were taking too far. They were bringing up my insterests, saying things lime "if this was her favorite influencer then they would consider it fine" It still wouldnt be.
Then they go on to say stuff, saying that I'm "too touchy" and always "make them uncomfy"
I have autism. I don't always understand body language, or social cues. If you are uncomfortable, PLEASE TELL ME!!! I want to know. If you dont want to say it aloud, text me! I will understand. But I dont want you to go around to a group chat with 18 people in it and tell all of them about your bad experiences near me when you know I will find out.
Am I using my disability as an excuse?
No
Do I want people to be educated on autism and other disabilities?
YES!!!!
I do not blame any of these people. Not everyone knows I have autism. But, I dont want people to go around, and only think about their actions because they don't want to 'hurt the autistic person'
Yes, this situation was a huge misunderstanding, and yes, it is all my fault. I will be taking hte fault for this. Yes I have lost multiple friends because of this.
Please don't make fun of people. It is really horrible on people's mental health.
I am DEEPLY sorry to everyone I have hurt. I am trying to work on how I deal with teenage drama, as I seem to end up in a lot of it. At this point, im just going to stay in my small circle of the really close friends I have, to limit the amount of people I even have a chance of hurting. I'm sorry if you feel like you wasted your time reading this, but if you feel liek you didn't, I ask that you please do some research about autism, to understand what people who have it have to go through every day.
I'm sorry if I seem like I am trying ot play the victim. This is purely my side of the story. To those who read this, I will not be taking this down, as the entire point of this post is autism awareness. I hope everyone has learned something from this, as I definitely have!
I hope everyone can enjoy the rest of this month drama-free, and can find the people that are right for them. Once again, I am not trying to blame anyone here for their actions, besides myself, as this can become a good learning opportunity.
