today at lunch we were talking about dumb stuff, then the conversation turned to foot fetishes, then some of the black guys started laughing to each other about how you can tell which bitches are actually really n*ggas, cuz they feet still all big. and they’re laughing about how you gotta check, you gotta watch out, they got those big arms and hands, they can ruin you if you don’t watch out. those fake bitches can lift you right up!
and i’m sitting there like, hmm, it’s kind of a situation, i need to keep getting along with these guys! so i hold my arms out and grin and say, ‘yo ok, i’m six weeks on T, now, do i got man arms yet? yall see me lifting every day!’ and they look and go ‘nah, nah, you still light and soft, you got woman arms still, those are girl arms, you better lift more!’ and i’m like ‘yeah i’ll get big arms in another couple months, it takes awhile for your muscles to change over, but yknow i’m gonna have these lil hands forever, i’m stuck with em. when you’re transitioning, your bones don’t change. that’s how it is with trans women too, yknow, it’s like that for both us. when trans women do their change, they gotta work with what they got. they’re just doing their best like the rest of us, yknow?’
there wasn’t any kind of meaningful silence or applause or people going ‘hey you’re right’, there were like eight of us at the table, there was a lot of cross chatter. but after i said trans women very firmly, they didn’t say bitches or trannies or actually n*ggas, yknow, really dudes, again. one of the girls at the table rolled up her sleeve and was like ‘how’m i?’ and the guys were like ‘you all woman, you’re a woman for sure!’ and the conversation moved on fast after that.
so like. it wasn’t a grand slam dunk for equality. but it was one of those moments where just being there kind of felt worth it. it sucks for your existence to be politicized, but it’s nice to remember– and to remind– people generally come down on the political side of human decency, once you look them in the eye and ask them to.
