Cyprian felt like he was in a daze as he and Kelvin made their way back to their room. He tried to formulate how he was going to explain himself, explain not only the demotion but why he didn’t tell Kelvin. He felt horribly guilty about both of them, to the point that he didn’t know what he felt more sick about telling Kelvin.
But when he looked into his fiance’s eyes, his gaze soft and encouraging, Cyprian found his words.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything,” he said quietly. “A couple days after the Games ended, I got called down, the head trainer was there, a couple Games officials. They said I didn’t do enough good work in Eleven to keep my position, with Daisy coming in with more experience. They demoted me down to Twelve, and if I don’t somehow immediately improve at this job that I’m apparently terrible at, then I’m going to lose the job altogether.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to keep from breaking down.
“I was so scared, because of what had happened before, with you, that I didn’t want to tell you anything that would stress you out. And then we got home, and then everything was okay, and I just kept putting it off because…” Cyprian took a deep breath, fidgeting with the ring on his finger. “Kel, I didn’t want to let you down. The Gazette just keeps acting like I’m not good enough for you. And I’m starting to get scared that they’re right.” Cyprian focused his gaze on Kelvin’s shoes, the tears welling up in his eyes.
Kelvin listened to Cyprian speak intently, watching his reactions to his own words. This must have been something difficult to deal with, especially with Cyprian’s goals of working up to a position in two one day, especially when the Capitol loved and appreciated Kelvin like he was their own.
He would be lying if he had said it didn’t hurt that Cyprian hadn’t told him, but then he thought of all the things he hid from Cyprian, of the way that the problems he was dealing with went much deeper than he had shared with his partner. Maybe they were both in the wrong here.
“Cyprian,” he said, standing next to him and placing one of his hands on the other’s cheek. “I don’t want you to feel like there is anything that you cannot tell me. Anything at all, I mean it, I love you, and I want to be there to share your burdens. Please don’t feel you have to walk on eggshells around me, please don’t.”
It was Cyprian’s final words that truly got to him. “Cyprian Atticus Huntwell, please do not ever for a moment think that you are not enough for me. You are the best thing I never asked for, the best thing that I could have ever found. I wake up every morning thankful that you’re in my life. Nobody is better for me than you.”