forever indebted

kelvin greengrass, district two, victor of the 118th bi-annual hunger games.

[stellinaminuet]

Stellina shrugged her jacket off as she stepped through the doors into the training room, unable to keep from looking mesmerised as she took in her surroundings. The equipment here made the weapons at the academy look almost primitive by comparison. “I think I’m in love,” she said aloud.

[kclvin]

Kelvin hated being in the training room. Not only did it fill him with this feeling of regret, as if he regretted all the decisions made in here that changed the outcome of other people’s lives, decisions that may have saved his as well. A girl’s voice called him out of his own mind. “Oh, sorry, I’m, um, I’m spoken for.”

[kclvin]

winniesycamore:

Winnie recognized Kelvin quickly, the newer Victors still very clear in her mind. “Of course, it’s alright, I didn’t want to be in your way if you wanted a drink.” She nodded, understanding his predicament. She was in the same situation, in a way: a mind too busy to calm down. “I understand, I am too. Um, what kind of stuff?” She paused, blushing at the realization she pushed too far. “I’m so sorry. That was too personal. I don’t want to pry.” 

Kelvin looked at her for a moment after her question, the most morbid thought coming into his head. Maybe she was the perfect confidant, someone who would, statistically, bring his secrets to the grave with her. But there was a chance she would win, there was always a chance someone would win, and he didn’t want to risk it, so he decided to keep everything vague. “Winning’s just not as great as it seems,” was he decided to say, a small sigh following after his words. “I’m Kelvin, by the way, Kelvin Greengrass, nice to meet you.”

[chip-foster]

Chip was in hiding. Since his stylist heard he was back in the Tower, he’d been seeking Chip out to try to force the boy to try out some new hairstyles that he had no patience to sit through. When Chip spotted the stylist from across the Tower, he quickly ducked behind a sculpture and stood as still as he could as he tried not to be spotted. It was day one and he was already exhausted.

[kclvin]

It wasn’t that Kelvin didn’t want to be seen by anyone, he just didn’t want to be seen by Capitol photographers and people asking him about his mental state and Cyprian’s demotion. It was too much for him to handle on top of having two new tributes to deal with, so when he saw people with cameras and notepads hanging out in the lobby, he quickly ducked behind the nearest statue he could find, surprised when there was someone else behind it. “Oh, I, um, wow, hey, I’ll be out of your hair in a sec, didn’t think that someone else would be hiding here at this exact moment, wow.”

[kclvin]

winniesycamore:

The Tower was more than Winnie ever could’ve imagined. More beautiful, more intense, more crowded, more loud. As much as part of her wanted to cling to Rowan or cry into her pillow, there was another part of her that just needed to walk. She couldn’t go out into the fields the way she used to back home, to run her anxiety off surrounded by cattle and sheep, but in the Capitol, they didn’t seem to admire open air or green space.

Also, it was winter. And it was freezing. The knit sweater over her dress that kept her warm in Ten did not work here in the Capitol where they actually had snow. 

The best she could do was get a cup of tea and just hang around the outer walls of the lobby, until Rowan was finished being measured for his costume and could be back at her side. It felt awkward, being alone here. She never felt fully complete without him. An Avox approached with a tray of drinks and she shook her head. “Oh, no thanks,” Winnie said softly. “I’ve got something, already.” Turning to the person nearby, she waved them forward, hoping she wasn’t standing in their way. “Oh, sorry about that. You go ahead.”

Just being back in this building once more creeped Kelvin out. If he didn’t feel like he owed it to the four tributes he lost in the games this past year to try and get a victor out of the arena, he probably would not have come back once again. However, he had some strange feeling that this was his duty now, that he had to try and help some helpless kid make it out alive.

Fulfilling that was harder than it seemed, he still had no clue how Lana and Trixanna did it.

Lost in thought in the main lobby, he walked around aimlessly, just trying to think of new tactics and strategies that he could use to finally get someone out of this arena. A quiet voice interrupted his thought process. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was hovering. My bad, just thinking about...stuff, you know?”

[kclvin]

cypricn:

Cyprian pressed his forehead into Kelvin’s, smiling softly against his lips as they stood together in the protective silence of their room. The ball had drained Cyprian, despite him being an extrovert and a people person. So many people thinking that they owned their story was uncomfortable to him. Their story belonged to Kelvin and Cyprian alone. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly, squeezing Kelvin’s hands. “I’m so ready to go to sleep, honestly. Turns out Victor’s Balls are actually the most exhausting thing. And if I can’t have coffee, I’m having sleep.” He paused, shaking his head. “I sound like Remy. All I’m missing are the cats and the shrill voice.”

Kelvin nodded at Cyprian’s words, stretching his arms and standing on his tip-toes, yawning at the mention of being tired. Days like this made Kelvin so tired, like he had lost all of his will to attend events such as these. So, the idea of heading to bed sounded perfect to him. “I am too, let’s go,” he said, still holding Cyprian’s hand as he started walking to the bedroom. “Stay Cyprian, don’t change to someone else, I like you the way you are.”

[kclvin]

lanaxnolan:

“I like the haircut one. People around here will understand that. They just power through illnesses with more alcohol.” She chuckled to herself, glancing behind her at the ongoing party inside, drunken Capitolites tripping over one another to the beat of whatever trashy pop song was playing at the time. “I know.” She sighed, “We just have to be smarter, train them harder. Make sure we’re not wasting any time.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, putting her cigarette out on the ash tray beside her, “Trouble is, they keep throwing in these.. twists. No telling who our next tributes are gonna be.”

“People have their priorities straight, it seems,” he said, his words dripping with sarcasm as he followed Lana’s gaze back inside. Back inside to people celebrating, back inside to people enjoying themselves because one person survived and twenty-three died. Kelvin didn’t know if he would ever understand those who could enjoy victory balls. “I have no idea either, but I hope they’re ready to work hard, that they’re ready to show the country how strong we are. We can do this Lana, maybe not this time, but the next, or the one after that. We can’t give up, we owe it to Nolie and Axel and Xerxes and Missy and everyone who lost before me. Don’t we?”

[kclvin]

kelvin’s outfit for the 120th victory ball

Now that Cyprian is in the Capitol with Kelvin, they have started coordinating outfits for every event the two attend together. Kelvin’s suit jacket is blue, yet the sequins on the jacket change color to gold with a single touch. His hair is littered with bobby pins, a nod to both his token in his games and to his fiance’s accessories. He is also wearing the tokens he amassed during the span of his games (not pictured: Maeve’s necklace, only half now, Melpomene’s necklace, and Orion’s bracelet), as he has vowed to wear them at every victory ball he ever attends.

[kclvin]

cypricn:

Cyprian couldn’t help but laugh a little as Kelvin pulled one of the gold pins from his hair, smiling as he wove it into his own hair. “That’s fair,” he admitted, ducking his head a little, shyly into Kelvin’s hand.

He returned the kiss, trying to thank Kelvin for his never ending support through his lips, hoping that the message came across loud and clear. “That’s funny,” he said softly, “because I love you. Maybe even more.” He smiled teasingly before stretching up slightly to kiss Kelvin’s cheek. “I really am sorry I didn’t tell you. I honestly thought it was the best decision.” He took Kelvin’s hands in his, linking their fingers. 

There were so many other things Kelvin could have said. He could have told Cyprian about how his mental problems were going so much deeper than he knew, he could have told Cyprian about how he sometimes still heard ghosts and bees and ghost bees, he could have told Cyprian about how the fact that he was getting further and further from working with Kelvin made him frustrated. But none of that needed to be shared right now, none of that needed to be vocalized, so he instead let his hand tangle into Cyprian’s hair. “It’s okay, I forgive you, as long as you think you’re doing what’s best, that’s what matters. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

[kclvin]

cypricn:

Cyprian didn’t trust anyone more than he trusted Kelvin. He had to believe that Kelvin meant every word he said. Even though he was always the stronger one, Cyprian let his head rest heavy into Kelvin’s hand, letting him support him. “Okay, I’ll try. I promise. I just… I worry about you so much. Because I love you so much. And I’d never want to do anything to stress you out, I’m always worrying about you. You know that.” 

He placed his hand on top of Kelvin’s, holding his hand closer to his cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the gravity of the moment settle into his bones. “Okay,” he said softly. “I know, I really do. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe. When people keep telling me otherwise. But I’m so thankful for you, so you’re stuck with me, even if everyone tells me you can do better.” He smiled softly, shrugging. “I hope you won’t be too embarrassed to be with a District 12 trainer.”

Kelvin smiled as he saw the shift in Cyprian’s demeanor, rubbing small circles into his cheek with his thumb, pulling a spare bobby pin out of his hair. “I’m the only one you have to worry about liking you, and don’t worry, I like you a lot,” he said, tucking the bobby pin behind his ear with a small smile. “I would even say I,” he paused, looked around like he was about to tell him a secret, and then whispered “love you.” With that, he slowly started moving closer, pressing his lips against Cyprian’s softly. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

[kclvin]

cypricn:

Cyprian felt like he was in a daze as he and Kelvin made their way back to their room. He tried to formulate how he was going to explain himself, explain not only the demotion but why he didn’t tell Kelvin. He felt horribly guilty about both of them, to the point that he didn’t know what he felt more sick about telling Kelvin.

But when he looked into his fiance’s eyes, his gaze soft and encouraging, Cyprian found his words. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything,” he said quietly. “A couple days after the Games ended, I got called down, the head trainer was there, a couple Games officials. They said I didn’t do enough good work in Eleven to keep my position, with Daisy coming in with more experience. They demoted me down to Twelve, and if I don’t somehow immediately improve at this job that I’m apparently terrible at, then I’m going to lose the job altogether.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to keep from breaking down. 

“I was so scared, because of what had happened before, with you, that I didn’t want to tell you anything that would stress you out. And then we got home, and then everything was okay, and I just kept putting it off because…” Cyprian took a deep breath, fidgeting with the ring on his finger. “Kel, I didn’t want to let you down. The Gazette just keeps acting like I’m not good enough for you. And I’m starting to get scared that they’re right.” Cyprian focused his gaze on Kelvin’s shoes, the tears welling up in his eyes.

Kelvin listened to Cyprian speak intently, watching his reactions to his own words. This must have been something difficult to deal with, especially with Cyprian’s goals of working up to a position in two one day, especially when the Capitol loved and appreciated Kelvin like he was their own. 

He would be lying if he had said it didn’t hurt that Cyprian hadn’t told him, but then he thought of all the things he hid from Cyprian, of the way that the problems he was dealing with went much deeper than he had shared with his partner. Maybe they were both in the wrong here.

“Cyprian,” he said, standing next to him and placing one of his hands on the other’s cheek. “I don’t want you to feel like there is anything that you cannot tell me. Anything at all, I mean it, I love you, and I want to be there to share your burdens. Please don’t feel you have to walk on eggshells around me, please don’t.”

It was Cyprian’s final words that truly got to him. “Cyprian Atticus Huntwell, please do not ever for a moment think that you are not enough for me. You are the best thing I never asked for, the best thing that I could have ever found. I wake up every morning thankful that you’re in my life. Nobody is better for me than you.”

[kclvin]

cypricn:

The last thing Cyprian had wanted was to make Kelvin upset. He knew he should’ve told Kelvin right away, but he didn’t want to stress his fiance out any more. He still suspected stress was behind whatever had happened to Kelvin back in the summer, when he forgot where he was or what was happening. He was trying to protect Kelvin, but feared he had hurt him instead. 

“I-I’m so sorry, Kelvin, I should’ve said something when it happened,” he said quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose to block the tears threatening to escape the corners of his eyes. “Can we talk about this when we get back to the Tower? I’m so tired of people trying to eavesdrop on us, I know everyone’s almost gone, but I just can’t… I can’t do this here. Can we go back to the Tower and then I’ll tell you everything, I promise, just not here.”

Being a private person was near-impossible in the Capitol, but Cyprian hung onto the shreds of privacy as tightly as he gripped Kelvin’s hand as they made their way out of the ballroom and back to their temporary home.

Kelvin’s hand squeezed Cyprian’s as he saw the man was getting upset. As much as Kelvin loved the support he got from Cyprian, he always found himself feeling bad that he never gave that support back in the same amounts he received it in. Sure, they had to be there for each other in different ways and Kelvin’s problems were quite different than Cyprian’s, but Kelvin had this desire to be like a normal couple, not one whose dynamic was threatened by the death of children twice a year.

“Of course we can,” he said, trying to make his voice as soothing as possible, and following Cypian’s lead out of the ballroom. People tried to stop the two of them as they walked, but Kelvin paid them no mind, focusing on the man next t him instead.

When they got back to their room, he closed the door tight behind them, before turning to Cyprian with soft eyes, waiting for him to say something.

[kclvin]

lanaxnolan:

“I love that plan.” Lana replied a little too enthusiastically, still looking out over the horizon. “Don’t think people would notice if I skipped out, you might need an excuse.” She added, leaning forward so that her arms dangled out over the railing. “We came close this year, though. Might not get to skip next time around.” Lana offered, though her tone was far from hopeful. 

Kelvin sighed, leaning back in his chair, watching as Kismet fidgeted around on his lap to make himself more comfortable before plopping back down again. “Well, we’ve got six months to think of a rock solid excuse, so let’s start brainstorming. Stomach bug? Really bad haircut? Dog related emergency?” He sighed again. “Lana, it seems like we’ve run into the third place curse. I would like to figure out how to break this curse as soon as we can.”

[kclvin]

cypricn:

“Love you too,” Cyprian added, letting Kelvin guide their pace through the ballroom. He was fine to take the lead in the socialization from then on out, even though the people they spoke to seemed visually disinterested. He protectively squeezed Kelvin’s hand again, focused on how his fiance was handling the criticism than his own worries.

As Kelvin guided them around the couple, Cyprian breathed a sigh of relief, hoping it was over. “Heard you’re working in Twelve? Eleven was a little too tough for you, that’s what the Gazette is saying, anyhow. Can’t remember the last time we saw a demotion in the Tower, you’re making history!” Cyprian froze, his face too glass to hide his sheer panic that it was these terrible rich people who gave away his secret that was meant for Kelvin’s ears from his lips alone. “See, Kelvin, we could be better for you than someone who can’t hold a job. Something to think about!” The couple flounced off into the ballroom, leaving Cyprian clutching Kelvin’s hand as the blood drained from his face.

“Can we go now?” Cyprian asked in the smallest voice, feeling the lump rise in his throat.

The person’s words were something that Kelvin was not prepared to hear, yet he didn’t let his face show it. That was something he had been working on recently, not showing his emotions on his face, but there was a lump at the base of throat and tears forming in his eyes and he just wished they had left a handful of minutes earlier. 

Before he had the chance to respond, the two were gone, leaving nothing but tense silence between the two men, standing in a now empty ballroom.

It took Kelvin a moment to gather his thoughts. 

“Cyprian,” he said, turning to face the man beside him. “What’s going on? What happened? You can tell me.”

[kclvin]

lanaxnolan:

Hearing Kelvin’s voice, Lana finally turned to see who had joined her out on the balcony, almost sighing in relief that it was someone she actually liked. Those seemed to be in short supply here. Turning her gaze back out onto the horizon, Lana kicked her feet up onto the railing, “Go ahead.” She said, taking another drag of the cigarette. “Having fun, I assume?”

Kelvin nodded as he heard her response, grateful for the momentary escape from the people clamoring about Xerxes dying so early on, about Missy practically giving up so close to the end, about why two seems like they’ll never get another win. He hoped that if he disappeared, people would care more about Trixie than him. He plopped down next to Lana, Kismet in his lap, and began to mindlessly pet the dog while looking out in the same direction as Lana did. “Quite honestly, not at all. Can we make a pact to skip this thing next time, unless it’s one of ours who’s being celebrated?”

[kclvin]

cypricn:

“Of course, babe,” he said softly, pressing a quick kiss to Kelvin’s cheek before shifting to take his hand. “You did great out there tonight, I’m proud of you. I know this isn’t easy but I’m so amazed by how well you keep handling it.” He leaned in to kiss Kelvin again, quickly. “Let’s go.” He didn’t want to be caught by Capitolites with Kelvin, knowing the way they’d sometimes treat him. 

They were about halfway across the room when they were stopped by a lavishly dressed couple and Cyprian squeezed Kelvin’s hand gently, providing support. “Good evening,” he greeted warmly. The sponsors and Capitolites had not been kind to Cyprian. He was tired of dealing with them lamenting that Missy didn’t kill Cricket quickly enough, that Kelvin could do better than him. It was utterly selfish of them, just wanting Kelvin for their own personal fantasies. To dream that he was single, to dream they had a chance.

It was what came with being engaged to a Capitol darling.

“That engagement still on?” One of them asked, raising her painted eyebrows at them. Cyprian awkwardly held up his ring and wiggled his fingers, demonstrating that it very much was. He felt the sick feeling rise in his stomach again. “Shame, you could do much better, you know,” she added in Kelvin’s direction. “Better than a low-tier trainer. Someone who could show you the real fun of the Capitol.”

Cyprian wanted to crumble, but he continued to smile. 

Kelvin would never get over the feeling in his stomach when Cyprian’s lips graced any part of his body. It was the same giddy feeling he felt inside him when they shared their first kiss all those years ago, the same giddy feeling he felt inside him when he had agreed to marry Kelvin. 

He hoped it never went away.

“I love you, let’s go,” he said, swinging their hands as he walked, trying to not to make a face at the people who stopped them. It came with the title, he supposed, having people stop him, having people assume he was theirs to have a conversation with. 

He tried to keep moving, but the people had blocked their path.

Kelvin’s eyes widened at the person’s words, his hand squeezing Cyprian’s tighter. “Cyprian is perfect for me, now if you’ll excuse us, we have somewhere we need to be,” he said, trying to push around the two of them.

[kclvin]

cypricn:

The night was drawing to a close, some of the ball’s attendants already making their exits to retire back to their homes or to the Tower for the night. Cyprian had been watching Kelvin make his way through the ballroom, talking to the reporters, the sponsors, the Capitol elite. He felt a surge of pride in his heart watching Kelvin handle everything the last year had thrown at him with such grace and resilience. He was still afraid after the incident over the summer, but Kelvin hadn’t had any more episodes since then, and Cyprian was starting to believe him that it was truly a one time thing. 

As another sponsor bid him farewell, Cyprian slipped up behind Kelvin and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Hey,” he said softly, feeling the softness of Kelvin’s hair on his cheek. “You holding up alright?” // @kclvin

It felt as if every person in the Capitol wanted to talk to him, and all he wanted to do was get out of this building. With every question he answered, with every insincere smile he flashed to someone, he grew more and more exhausted. So when the crowds started to thin and he saw Cyprian moving closer to him from across the ballroom, he wrapped up his conversation as quickly as he could.

He leaned back into Cyprian’s arms, letting his eyes close for a moment as he did. “I’m alive, I’m standing, I’m breathing, can we get out of here please?”

[lanaxnolan]

Lana was perched on one of the balconies at the Presidential Mansion, a cigarette between her lips. Despite the chilly night, Lana was more comfortable in the outside air than she was inside. Losing Missy so close to the end was gut wrenching, especially considering she, like Iona, had lost to Hunter Twill. She’d assumed it would be easier to get the kids out of the arena alive, especially getting Kelvin out during her first Games as trainer. Now she wasn’t so sure she’d be able to pull that off again. Missy could match even Lana in a sparring session, and even she hadn’t managed to pull off a Victory. 

Staring out over the city, Lana heard footsteps coming towards her over the roar of the crowd. She didn’t turn when she heard the footsteps, merely speaking over her shoulder. “Spot’s taken.”

[kclvin]

Being back in this building gave him the chills, there was no other way to put it. Every step he took felt heavy, every breath he took felt labored, and it made Kelvin feel uncomfortable, taking every chance he could to adjust his outfit. Was it hot in here? As he spotted Lana across the room, he jumped at the chance to be near a familiar face, a friendly face to him in most situations. “It’s just me,” he spoke, hands in the air in surrender even though he was pretty positive she didn’t have eyes in the back of her head. “Could I sit?”