defying gravity

[captainjoongki]

professor cha eun ho and his glasses 

[forursmiles]

[jvhoon]

@kcngsjimin

[aelnaute]

“Sorry if I’m up and down a lot

Sorry that I think I’m not enough

And sorry if I say sorry way too much”

- Ariana Grande

[kcngsjimin]

@jvhoon

[aus-yeezus]

[jvhoon]

@kcngsjimin

[kcngsjimin]

jvhoon·:

jihoon lets out a chuckle as he gently nods in agreement. still very unknown to him how she could make him shut up in a second and change his point of view with ease. normally, he would argue back, eager to be the one with the last say, except jimin left him with not even the smallest wish to differ. it was her who had that ability to influence so strongly on him without even having to try hard. he knew her too well to tell she wasn’t even aware of it, and if she was, she would make good use of it. “ i think you’re the first person who would describe me as selfless and generous. those adjectives don’t really go with me, it’s weird. those are more your type, though. but since you managed to make sense i’ll have it in mind. ” he answers with a smirk, deeply admiring every act of kindheartedness from the girl, and how simple it seemed to her to put others first without failing. and althought his gaze was fixed to the front, he paid careful attention as she spoke. there were so many things she had experienced and gone through while he was absent that he can’t help but feel bad just thinking about it. there were moments when his eyes widened, others when he frowned and others when he laughed as she lost herself going from a story to another, but at the end, no matter how much she shared with him, he felt sorry for not being part of those memories. for not being there whenever she needed someone by her side or to see her what her reaction was when trying out new things. “ oh, i don’t mind, i want to know as much as possible. but it’s like i’m talking to a completely different jimin, are you sure it’s really you? ” he jokes, quickly glancing at her. “ i’m proud of you, it seems like you’ve been having fun which is great. just don’t forget that overworking is bad for you, you should also know when to take a break. besides, you know i can be quite demanding and if i’m doing you a favor i’m expecting you to save some time for me as well. ” he shamelessly adds as his head tilted lightly to the side.

   she didn’t think she’d ever stop wishing on stars for him to see himself the way that she does. how much brightness he’d brought into her world that was slowly closing in through her tunneled vision. he helped her in more ways than she would ever be able to thank him for. her honest, kind words were only one way she could think to let him know how much she appreciated it. even with the time they spent apart, the words fell from her lips with ease. eager to remind him how highly she thought of him. through all of her ramblings, the things she didn’t say was that it was him that gave her the courage to live so boldly. before him, she would have been content running her rounds with silence and a smile, and going home right after and repeating that routine for the rest of her life. it was the safest option after all. but because of him, she was able to live a life with a little risk. he showed her all the memories, smiles, and laughter that could be had if only she would be willing. there had been so much she’d missed out on because of irrational fears that seemed to take over her entire being. so much catching up she had to do, and how much fun she had getting a running start with him by her side. “ hmmm i don’t know. maybe the old jimin learned how to be this new jimin because she had an excellent teacher. ” she laughed as her eyes fell over to him. “ but i’ll always be in need of more lessons. ” it was as bold as she could bring her body to be. to allow him to know her hopes of seeing him again. being with him again. even if it was in only so many words. “ i promise not to overwork. scouts honor. ” she promised placing a hand over her heart and giving him a quick nod. “ besides i don’t like being the cause of your dissatisfaction so i’ll try my best to keep you happy. ”

[sefuns]

Dazzling Rosé ✧ for anon

[kcngsjimin]

 jvhoon·:

jihoon would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a bit taken aback for how his lips curved simultaneously with hers. it was a smile he had been so used to seeing, put every effort so it would never fade from her face back when they were together, and yet he was here, astonished by it’s beauty one more time. an odd feeling he had already forgotten but couldn’t simply get tired of. “ heh, if you put it that way you are practically asking me to focus on myself only. that would make me look quite egocentric, don’t you think? ” he replies with a slight hint of humor, something he wouldn’t normally do but was far in a good mood to care of anything else that wasn’t having a great time with jimin. “ i mean, my manager would love that for sure, but i feel like that’s everything i do lately, — just thinking about what’s good for me and my career. and although i know an art gallery isn’t the most amusing place to visit, this is probably the most spontaneous thing i’ve done in months, ” he allows a short chuckle to drop out of his mouth. “ i guess you always manage to balance me out. ” he bluffly admitted, carefully closing the door behind her and rushing right away to the driver’s seat. it takes him a couple of seconds to think of what she said lastly, his lips hardly pressing against each other to create a thin line. it’s all the attention and warmth she keeps on offering him that happens to be unbelievable to jihoon. “ and i’ll do it, i’ll keep on taking care of myself and winning the season if that’s something you would like for me to do. but do me one more small favor and tell me what have you been up to as well, i’d love to hear it. ” his voice gentle and eyes almost glued to her features before he turns away completely to start driving. 

   the laughter that slipped from her lips came as a shock to herself. so much so that a small hand came up to her lips to stifle the sound. assuming that he had to have been just as shocked as she was. his playful side was one that was well reserved. she would sometimes flatter herself into thinking that it was only her in which he could be silly around, though she would never admit that out loud. just locked away the sound of his laughter deep in her heart along with the hope that it was only her who’d brought such a sound from his lips. “ that’s fair, but allow me to make a counter-argument. if what i want you to do is focus solely on yourself for the remainder of your season and you do that on behalf of me doesn’t that make you selfless and generous? ” she joked back before the rose-colored cheeks made their quick return at the sound of his words. “ what have you been doing without me then? ” she mused to herself as she watched him rush to the driver’s side as she fastened her belt in fashion she had done many times before. out of habit, her hand twitched to rest over his as she watched it place itself on the gear shift. instead, it settled for the ends of her hair as her lips pursed in thoughts as she tried to pretend that she didn’t feel his eyes on her. “ well, first and foremost, lots of studying my guy. nonstop. nursing rounds have no room for mercy. ” she sighs but there’s a smile on her face as she thinks to her workplace, continuing to go on to tell him all about the characters she’s encountered. to the less than comfortable conversations had about genitalia to the strange fellow who kept coming into serenade her which reminded her to tell him to come into the hospital for a check-up soon, before she went back into her spill of the first time she’d gotten drunk with colleagues and how they sent her on a scavenger hunt for her phone. and how he was the first person she wanted to tell about it. the sudden confession causing her lips to cease up and she was offering a sheepish smile. “ i’m talking too much aren’t i? ”

[kcngsjimin]

jvhoon·:

“ you see, that’s what i’m talking about. there was no need to get into that much trouble for me. you even had to pay someone. ” while he quietly explained, there was a small hint of concern that turned into perceptible sadness. regretful as jimin was the only one who seem to actually try for them, and sadly, it had always been that way. he did wonder where the hell has his mind been all this time and what he ever did to deserve that much from her. he went for so long thinking she was just as selfish as him, blind because of the anger that their many fights had caused, when she was there still looking out for him. and the fact that she hadn’t been ready to face him that she couldn’t even go inside, gave once more a strange feeling from his throat and chest to his trembling fingers. “ i’ll make it up to you, sincerely. i don’t know how yet, but.. if there’s anything you’d need from me just let me know. ” he nods lightly, trying at least to be encouraging. “ really, you can call me anytime if you feel like it. ” he turns to face her and to his surprise, she seemed to be steps further away, and for the first time he felt like the only one who thought it was easy to recover a little of the intimacy they once had. probably too lost talking and enjoying every second they shared to stop and think about how she would feel with everything. “ i am, on the other hand, not allowed to look at the crowd during a match, not for too long though. — but if you come back, i’ll make sure to say hi at least, that’s a promise. ” reaching for his car keys, he swiftly made his way to a black bugatti veyron to then open the door for her. 

     it was moments when he spoke like that that she wanted to reach out for him. wrap her arms around his waist and remind him that he was worth more than there were words to describe. and she wasn’t as well versed in her ability to show it as she hoped to be. but she’d always been a fan of words... --- they just seemed to escape her at that moment. so instead, she greeted him with a sweet smile as she listens to him carry on. her head shaking adamantly at the thought of him believing he had to return her desire to continue looking after him. “ i don’t need anything, please. you really don’t have to jihoon.. ” she promised with a small pout, her hands fumbling with themselves as a way to avoid reaching out for him. “ you just focus on your diet, and your exercise, and and taking your vitamins and supplements and winning the season. clean sweep. that’s all i need. nothing else. ” she assured, sweet smile making its ways back to her cheeks as she sped up a few quick steps to meet his pace once more. “ i’ll come with a sign next time! no sense in hiding if i’ve already been caught. ” she followed his motions to the car, and stood a moment looking at the car seat waiting for her before turning to him and taking a deep breath. “ and just for the record, it wasn’t any trouble at all.. the care packages i mean. knowing you were okay, and getting the proper care was worth it. honestly, it would have been trouble for me if i didn’t do it. so don’t think you ever cause me trouble ” she finished with a nod and a smile before climbing into the car.

[magiclyrics]

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart // Ariana Grande

[kcngsjimin]

@jvhoon

[thelovejournals]

I won’t glorify or romanticize heartbreak, for me it was a kind of death and I was forced to keep living.

Warsan Shire (via thelovejournals)

@kcngsjimin

(via jvhoon)

[lockzinhas]

little mix - love me or leave me

[kcngsjimin]

@jvhoon

[ot4archives]

ChaeLisa with baby Luca ❣️

[kcngsjimin]

jvhoon·:

after hearing jimin sigh, he started wondering if what he said was just too sudden to hear and may have caused her discomfort. he admitted he was probably going a little too fast for how he invited her to go to a place he had honestly no interest in, but it would’ve been worse to simply say goodbye when both were finally talking after their breakup. jihoon didn’t want to see her go so soon. there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to hear from her, but he was willing to wait for the right moment when they would be ready to open up to each other about simple things. starting with how you’ve been, for example. it felt like an opportunity to finally make things right and he wasn’t going to mess it up, not again. “ don’t be. you didn’t do anything wrong. ” he hurried to say, his arms falling behind his back. “ and besides, it doesn’t matter who made the most mistakes, past is past and done is done. ” even though the memories both good and bad, rushed back to his head every now and then, reminded of when they were together, he wanted to start over and forget what happened. even if he was the same old foolish jihoon who was ready to screw everything up at any moment. a smile involuntarily drawn on his face while she talked, though he probably missed half of what she said. he nods once she agrees to go, walking slowly to the parking lot so the night could be, or at least feel, longer. “ so you come often to my games … i don’t get why didn’t i see you before. ” it was a little sad, how they were so close yet so far from each other, making his heart clench. 

     it was as relieving as it was disheartening to hear how willing he was to brush away past indiscretions. it was important they allow themselves the leeway to forgive, and forget; to rebuild from the ground up as if they had never watched it all crumble to the ground in the first place. but she also didn’t want to put a band-aid over a bullet wound. a temporary fix for something that would rip back open later, hurting them both ten times worse than before. she wanted to stitch up every broken seam and watch as it healed and molded whole once again. but she figured that would be too much too soon and instead met his enthusiasm with a sweet smile and a nod. if he could be optimistic about it, why couldn’t she? his questioned surprised her, and her eyes found the ground quickly as she tried to disguise her embarrassment. quick bouts of laughter falling from her lips as she nodded. “   yeah..--- i don’t know how it happened, it sort of just did?   ” the reminder that her being caught sneaking around his games is what brought them here caused a momentary fault in her confidence. her feet lost step with his, and she found herself one step behind, watching him with an odd sense of longing. he was right there, and still felt so far. “   i used to not be able to even go in. i’d just pay some fan to leave the basket with you, and then listen to the game from my car..--- and then i’d stay for the first quarter, and then it turned in t o two and then i just...--- i don’t know. i couldn’t leave. which is probably why you caught me tonight..   ”

[millionsmp3-deactivated20191102]

✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[sohves]

@kcngsjimin

[kcngsjimin]

jvhoon‌:

amazing how her words could bring so much heaviness to his chest and yet he still acknowledge she was only speaking with the truth. known for being stubborn, it even happened to be surprising to himself how he resisted to let a mean comment slip through his lips as he usually did with others. when it came to jimin, he was defenseless, incapable of treating her like if she was anyone else. he had already caused so much pain to both of them, there was really no need to do it again, no need for them to go through the same. maybe this time, he should recognize he had a lot of fault. his eyes falling to the ground and back to her, lips pressed together as he probably thought about it way too much, but his mouth eventually opened to say it, after a few moments of hesitation that she probably noticed. “ thank you. and i’m sorry, ” he answers firmly, trying his best to hide the fact that he was at the edge of trembling. how hard was to be sincere with her. his apology having many different meanings and motives as to why, but he would rather play it safe. “ it was until today that i realized they were yours. but i’m hoping you won’t stop making them because i caught you … will you? ” regardless of what he said first, part of him still wanted her to look after him. as selfish as that was, he somehow wanted to have her back in his life, if she wasn’t against it. “ there’s an art gallery opening tonight. not really my cup of tea but i’ve heard it’s good to clear your mind. maybe you’d like to go? i honestly don’t know if you like those kind of things. ”

      it was like her heart was beating so fast it felt like it stopped. silence had always been his best weapon; the uncertainty of what he was thinking stabbing her worse than any words of brute honesty ever could. she’d always done her best to be as open, and honest as her father once was. it was almost paralyzing when the person she cared for couldn’t give her the same open heart as she had so easily given. but that was where she was at fault. expecting him to match her every thought, and stride without much consideration for how his pace was up to him. if there was ever something she wanted to apologize for it was her lack of patience and her expectations. she let out a sigh that was a cross between relieved and amused. how he could apologize before the words could reach her own lips with as funny as it was good to hear. “   i’m sorry too. we have a lot to be sorry for don’t we?   ” she mused, a sad smile breaching the corners of her lips. “   i won’t stop though, if i don’t do it you won’t. it’s better you know anyway, because now i can actually ask what it is you need more off. i just kept feeding you viatimins not knowing if you ran out or not. or if you were evn taking them, if they didn’t sit well with your stomach..--- it’s better this way.   ” she concluded with a small laugh, blush on her cheek soon returning. deepening at the possibility of spending more time with him, and slowly she nodded her head. “   i don’t know if i like those things either, but it’s never too late to find out. i’d love to go.   ”

[champagne-and-boytears-blog]

♡ thinking bout you ♡

[kcngsjimin]

@jvhoon

[musingisms]

“i’m sorry my hands are so sharp. i’m sorry i couldn’t be softer for you. i’m sorry i couldn’t be kinder for you. i’m sorry i couldn’t be whole for you. i’m sorry.”

— an apology. (e.c.a.)

[jvhoon]

@kcngsjimin