after my previous post, I decided to read ahead of the manhwa now bc I can’t wait!!! and I kinda feel like writing down some liveblog thoughts here while doing it :D
here we go, starting from chapter 184
[ MAJOR SPOILERS!!!!! DO NOT CLICK if you haven’t ever read before. I’m so serious its a lot of spoilers. pls just ignore this and scroll on ]
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ummm dokja saying “oh this scenario will be fine! don’t worry i’m prepared this will be problem-free & so very easy haha :)” + getting all emotional about his friends is setting off my red flag senses so hard. dokja you still have the fate message praying on your downfall….
dokja I’m scared. Dokja I Don’t Like This
ah. hah. the demon king guy is literally dead on the floor 🧍awesome
damn I knew this couldn’t be trusted and some plot twist would happen it was never going to be that simple. someone has to take the position now. I hate you nebulaes how about you catch these hands
OH NO JOONGHYUK?? YOU STUPID IDIOT STOP
my boys are fighting o(-(
yo wait turns out the world won’t reset even if he regresses??? but still :( he won’t be able to see this to the end and will get stuck back in the loop :(( joonghyuk has changed so much from the start and I’ve grown to like him a lot he doesn’t deserve this I’ll cry
OF COURSE DOKJA GONNA SACRIFICE HIMSELF INSTEAD. ITS HIS FAVORITE HOBBY!
dokja’s self reflection of how the reason he survived all the tragedies in his life is bc of TWSA & watching how joonghyuk never gave up…. the whole “it’s because you saved me so now it’s my turn to save you” from a person directed to their favorite character and their favorite story which was their life companion…. honestly I don’t quite have words to describe the way these lines make me feel. it’s just profound and deeply relatable
gilyoung my poor son he doesn’t want his hyung to die 😭
sighs it’s too late. at least demon king dokja looks cool…. now the wings fanart I’ve seen in passing makes sense…..
he’s a goner
I am going to be completely honest. I genuinely expected to be reading more of an epic shounen-style final battle where he uses all the cool corrupted demon powers and maybe goes a little wacky because that’s usually what happens in stories when the protagonist unlocks an evil power and has to fight his friends. NOT THIS????????
the situation has zero hope and he is just standing there one sidedly taking hits from his friends who are forced to kill him. while guiding them on how to do it. smiling and offering them words of encouragement. this is so devastating I feel sick
URIEL MY BABY seeing her cry is the worst it’s torture
of course his stigma is called sacrificial will
STOP
THAT ARTWORK
THEY ARE HIS LOVED FAMILY…… HE LOVES THEM ALL N JOONGHYUK WAS YHR PERSON HE LOVED MOST I CALLED IT I want to hit something
im full on crying now
all the constellations messages of they don’t wish for his death I’m not strong enough
reading this feels like getting ripped apart limb by limb
NO WAY THE FVGTIFJFJCKN HELD BY THE NECK THING RETURNS A THIRD TIME LIKE THIS??? STOOOPPPPPPPP
uriel T-T
he died
demon king of salvation
need to just lay here for a bit
ok I’m back joonghyuk is disassociating from the grief. relatable
“What if Yoo Joonghyuk went back and there was no Kim Dokja? or what if Kim Dokja never acted like this again? Yoo Joonghyuk was afraid of something for the first time.”
“He met Kim Dokja in his third regression and they became companions. Then he lost Kim Dokja”
he cares for him so much
a scenario without dokja.
whag did I just read
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UGH that was so good. emotional damage was an understatement now I get why ppl were warning me
why did I decide to do this in the middle of the night…. I need to stop now I’m tired but how am I going to sleep? im haunted with thoughts
it’ll take a bit longer for the manhwa to adapt this part but I’m honestly really glad I continued reading and got to imagine it all myself in detail first- it hit so hard. I’ll let it sit and take a few days break before I continue. excited to see how they adapt it into drawings and cry all over again cause this wound ain’t healing for a while
I have the need to recommend this story to all my friends and family
oh right!!!!
the other day I went through youtube animatics & saved some that I could watch when finishing certain chapters into a note (thank goodness most put a warning of when to watch in the first few seconds!)
pairing/s: past din djarin x gn! reader because you’re dead
summary: din visits you after a long, long time and bringing grogu along to introduce him to you
warning/s: DECEASED READER (you’re dead, you’re gone, you’re nada), grief, mourning, angst, crying, big hurt but also big comfort, bittersweet, helmet removal, and you’re dead
note/s: somewhat a continuation and sequel to Creed!! this idea was on the whim, like i just thought WHAT IF- and now we’re here LOL this is uh third person omnipresent because i wanted to include what grogu was thinking and feeling KEK
masterlist
Why he came back, he didn't know. Or maybe he didn't want to know. Maybe he already knew but refused to acknowledge it.
As the Razor Crest descended from the sky and landed in a forest, there was a coo coming from behind him. He turned around to see Grogu tilting his head like he did whenever he was confused or questioning something. The kid was silently asking him why they were there with his big eyes, when his distress and upset was obvious.
Din sighed and stood up from the pilot's seat, reaching to carry Grogu up in his arms. His steps were heavier than usual with heart ache as they walked out of the ship. His ad'ika perked up and looked around in wonder, admiring the tall, green trees and the sunlight filtering through the leaves. It was beautiful to the child.
But not to Din.
Din brought him and his child back at the planet where he lost everything. The planet where he lost his life. The planet where he lost his soul. The planet where he lost his love. The planet where he lost his heart. The planet where he lost you.
Flashes of your smile went through his head each time he stepped on twigs and leaves. Flashes of those three fucking knives went through his head each time the light hit his eyes. Flashes of his arms holding your dead body went through his head as he slowly walked to your grave.
Grogu's ears drooped down as he felt his buir's hurt. He knew that his buir had dark memories on the pretty planet, knew that being there caused him to retreat into his self-loathing thoughts; He just didn't understand why. Why were they there? Why does his buir always put himself through pain and agony?
It all came to light as Din stopped in front of a mound of dirt covered in grass and wildflowers. Rocks stacked on rocks surrounded the mound and were weathered and aged with moss and cracks. Your name was still visible where it was carved into the largest rock at the top of the grave.
Din fell on his knees, clutching at Grogu so tightly that he squeaks loudly in surprise. His mind was racing with the days when you were the one who was beside him during his travels across the galaxy. When you were the one who made him smile so much the clan would think you were a sorcerer. When you were the one who soothed his nightmares and cries. When you were the one he took care of and the one who took care of him.
Not that he didn't love Grogu, maker above he loved his kid so much that he brought the womp rat with him to see you after so many years. Or, what he left of you.
Placing the kid down on the ground beside him, Din took a moment to just wallow in his hurt, to just let himself be overwhelmed with the negative emotions he pushed away and ignored ever since you passed. Back then, he would've surely lost his mind if he let your death suffocate him into his own demise, but now— Now he has his kid with him. His ad'ika that could have had another buir if you were still alive.
Grogu clawed at Din's cuisse, trying to get his attention as he climbed up on his lap. His buir didn't react, however, and that made him worried. He frantically scraped his claws on the shiny surface of buir's armour, the beskar strong enough that it didn't leave a single mark. When all he could feel was pain and heartbreak in the midst of emptiness, Grogu opened his mouth and wailed as loudly as he could.
Din snapped out of his spiralling thoughts and craddled Grogu back on his chest. His ad'ika whimpered sadly and scratched at his helmet, wanting to see his face. Removing his helmet was still a challenge to do, only having taken it off once and that was when— But he's slowly getting used to removing it for Grogu, for his clan of two.
As his buir bared his face for him to see, Grogu felt his usual smile of seeing his handsome father fall at the sight of his tears streaming down his cheeks. He raised his clawed hand to try and wipe the offending liquid away, and hopefully it would wipe away his buir's sadness too.
Din smiled weakly at his son's attempts at comforting him, at the touch of his son's hand. You would've loved him, he thinks to himself. You would've been a better parent than him, a hardened mandalorian bounty hunter, with your teasing and caring nature.
You would've.
Grogu complained out loud when he was placed down once more but quietened when Din looked at him. He pouted and fell on his butt, sitting with his back to his buir. A large, gloved hand rested on his head and stroked him lightly.
"Grogu..." Din said at last, smiling once more when his ad'ika swiveled his head towards him in response. Holding back his sniffles, he points to the rock that carried your name. "I'd like you to meet your other buir. My riduur."
The kid made a noise of confusion, turning to look at the mound and scrutinising it in his gaze. Blowing a raspberry, Grogu looked back at his buir unimpressed. He doesn't get it; How can he have another buir when he already has one?
"My ka'rta, my lover," The mandalorian gently explained, "They are clan even if they are gone." Din grimaced as his mind kindly reminded him of that fateful day you fell. He could see Grogu work it out in his little toddler brain, trying to understand what he said, if he could understand Din at all. But, soon, his son's eyes brightened and stared at the mound with a renewed light.
Din watched as Grogu shakily stood up on his little feet and walked closer to your grave. The womp rat tilted his head left and right, flexing his tiny hands before flopping face down on the ground. He sat up in concern for his child, almost picking the kid up to see if he was alright, but before he could, the kid wiggled his whole body vigorously. It didn't occur to him what Grogu was doing, and when it did, he almost goddamn broke down.
Grogu was hugging the mound of dirt, letting his face get buried in the patches of grass and wildflowers. His claws were flapping and hitting the ground like how he would hit Din when he's happy in his arms. He wiggled around for a moment until he found a comfortable place and curled up, cooing loudly.
The sight made Din crumble down and cry. Tears were uncontrollable as they cascaded down from his eyes. Feelings of happiness and sadness filled his whole being; Happy because Grogu accepted you as his buir so quickly after knowing who you were for a minute, but sad because you would never know his child— your child.
Laying down beside the grave, Din turned his body to face Grogu who was slowly drifting off into sleep. He wondered if his ad'ika could see his memories of you, if his ad'ika could somehow feel you. As he reached out to caress Grogu's back, it was almost easy to imagine you laying there on the grass with them, smiling brightly at both him and the kid and humming softly under your breath. It was almost easy to imagine you holding Grogu in your arms as you curled into Din's.
It was almost easy to imagine.
BONUS:
You murmured stories of your adventures with Din to the sleeping child on top of you, hovering your hands over his little body comfortingly. It surprised you when the child saw you, and more so when the child understood who you were. You turned your head to look at your husband, drinking in his aged but still handsome face. Reaching out to cradle his cheek in the palm of your hand, your soul hurting when you remembered you couldn't touch him.
You settled with just watching your lover fall asleep next to your son, next to you.
It was easy to imagine.
general taglist: @stillshelbs @pedroepascal @pedrocentric (oomf and kitty im tagging u because i want u to cry with me)
