onyxhateslife

he/it | here for a good time, not a long time

[catmask]

just so you know, you have some followers who enjoy/write fanfiction. not saying their urls rn bc i don’t wanna air out dirty laundry in public but if you want them so you can block and report, just say the word and i’ll dm you a list

[catmask]

BRO?

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Reblog if you're self indulgent and perverted lmao

[bemusedlybespectacled]

fellas is it perverted to think happy thoughts

[toast-ranger-to-a-stranger]

My dudes is it gross and masturbatory to have hobbies?

[wazzuppy]

[ke1ng3hirn]

[teaboot]

Thinking back to the good early days before my skin grew back when people could shake their heads at me and say "masks are a government conspiracy" and instead of navigating the bullshit like a normal person I could pull mine down and say "I have chemical burns on my face"

[ke1ng3hirn]

same but instead of antimaskers it’s people that joke about cancer and I could show the bloody patch on my neck from the huge cancer removed there

[locallepidoptera]

i live for the unique thrill that comes with running away like a little baby

[ke1ng3hirn]

luigi supremacy

[ke1ng3hirn]

More Belphie Brainrot!!

misc belphie and x mc headcanons

finally posting something sfw?? woweee good job me o(^▽^)o

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･

first off, I don’t give a shit what the official art says, this man has at least some chub come on all he does is mooch and eat :<

when he first got his sin he tried to stay awake as long as possible and literally passed out :((

he thinks of you wayyy different in Nightbringer, when he met you for the first time as you, and not some filthy human intruder, he was done for. full on belphie.exe has stopped working.

you’d probably find little flower bouquets for you in your room when you and him started talking and getting a lot closer, but whenever you would try to bring it up, he’d pretend to be half asleep and not paying attention, only for his little smile and flushed cheeks to give him away.

when you two would start dating I feel like he would try to avoid pda around his brothers, but he would cave when he catches one, (probably Asmo), trying to flirt with you. he’d start really layering on cuddles and kisses whenever he could, even in public, to assert his possession over you.

Belphie would love any gift you give him too! he’d carefully place it amongst his stash on his side of the room to proudly display to the world!! and if you got him a plushie, no matter how big or what shape, he’s gonna be sleeping with it in his bed for the rest of his life.

now, living with 6 other demons means that Belphegor is used to having to protect his stuff, after all his siblings are the literal avatars of Greed and Gluttony, and thus would completely bristle at his brothers if they even dared to look at you for too long. however, he’s still a gentleman and understands it’s not your fault you’re so enticing so if anything would treat you better than usual, getting you special gifts and even letting you sleep with him on his favourite pillow.

when dating him, consider all your bad dreams gone 🫡

[ke1ng3hirn]

Belphie brainrot real !! (smut, mdni)

Started playing Nightbringer and Belphie’s so cute in it especially when he’s a surprise guest >///<

When he’s needy for you♡

Synopsis: how they act when their s/o is gone for a while

cw: masturbation, wet dreams, ftm belphie, t dick, sex toys, humping, slight scent kink/clothes stealing (beel), lazy masturbation, but it’s not very nsfw

one more time, mdni or u will be blocked

Beelzebub can’t help but dread the trip you’re forced to go on. Two months is way too long! He’ll starve without your cooking and your cunt. For the days leading up to the trip, perhaps you’ll start to notice some of the clothes you wanted to wash and pack starting to disappear but hey, you probably just misplaced them, right?

As soon as you’re gone, Beel starts doing everything he can to try and take his mind off your missing presence, trying out a new, gruelling, workout, only to afterwards crave comfort. He’d actually eat everything in the house too, except, surprisingly, the fresh bread buns are left untouched, because when Beelzebub saw them, all he could think of were your soft thighs and tits, and how much he missed your body.

After a week, Beel would reach his breaking point, and pull out the emergency stash… of your dirty clothes he stole before you left. Just the smell of you would get his cock throbbing. He’d let out these deep grunts and groans with your shirt almost plastered to his nose and your pants or even panties wrapped around his dick. Imagine him, flusteredly panicking when you got back because shit, he spent the last few days rubbing his cock raw with your clothes and if he doesn’t deal with it now he’s gonna have to explain why they fucking crunch.

Belphie, however, doesn’t bother preparing at all. Shit, he was half asleep when you told him you were going, so he had no idea what was happening until he woke up to you gone! Once he knew you left he decided to do nothing but “mourn your loss” (sleep) for a good few days. Man really thought he could hibernate through your trip and it was all good until he started waking up, clit throbbing and pussy dripping, after his dreams took a (totally uninfluenced) turn.

He’d shrug it off, but the feeling of emptiness just made him miss you more, resorting to leave his room for the first time in days to sneak a dildo from Asmo’s collection to lazily thrust inside of himself as he stroked his t dick, but the empty pleasure left him unsatisfied. He wanted you, not some shitty hunk of silicone! Being away from you for so long, he couldn’t help but miss you. Belphegor would be desperate. So desperate for you, that he asked Diavolo about what it would take to get to the Human Realm, only for him to tire at the mere thought of the work he’d have to do just to see you a little sooner, and resort to stagnating in his room until you returned.

[ke1ng3hirn]

sometimes I read a fanfic and forget it’s not canon- like no, xiao isn’t really a hair stylist he’s an emo ass power ranger

[ke1ng3hirn]

subby guys brainrot (nsfw)

mdni, ageless/minor accs will be blocked!

he’s so so sensitive, whining out when you tweak and play with his soft chest, begging mommy to “touch me down there too I’ve been a good boy pleeease” and letting out little whimpers as you trace your fingers down their body, so you can start to gently palm his cock through the lacy panties he loves to wear because he knows you love how it looks. the moans he tries to stifle when you start to mouth at his cock are so cute too!! little pants and high pitched mewls so lewd he turns red with embarrassment but it’s ok because he knows he’s mommy’s good boy and his sounds make them happy. and if u peg/fuck him he gets fucked out almost instantly, drooling and eyes rolling into the back of his head from the sheer abuse you give his g spot until he comes untouched with a high keen <3

[gorou, xiao, belphie, edgar allen poe, venti]

[ke1ng3hirn]

was reading an ao3 fic and this is by far the funniest shit I’ve ever seen

[6amflight]

alien queen frye for splatfest….im not uber happy with how it turned out but oh well..For Team ALiens Im posting it Lets win this. 

[ke1ng3hirn]

I’m already regretting choosing nessie 🤧🤧 frye ks so andbjabdjas

[ke1ng3hirn]

𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐏𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐲 ♥︎

Service top Denji x (afab) Power bottom reader

MDNI! NSFW BELOW CUT!

Character: (aged up) Denji

Scenario: he’s been waiting all week, so pent up he’ll even beg…

Stuff involved: slight petplay, you for reader, begging, penetration

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'*'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

It was hard, being Denji, in more ways than one. Turns out having a fucking gorgeous partner meant his already high libido was spiking almost constantly. It wasn’t his fault though, that your cunt was always so warm, so perfect, and your body was absolutely delectable, and it most definitely was not Denji’s fault that whenever you even looked at him it made his cock jump a little, most definitely lot.

But that’s why it was so hard being Denji. Normally you were more than willing to bend over, part your panties, and ride him until he felt like nothing but a fucked out ‘good puppy’, you were always so kind to him, so rewarding, but also strict. You had got a call from Aki, complaining to how your perfect little puppy was feral and needed to be trained, so you had prevented him from fucking you until he learnt to behave.

It had been almost 2 months since Denji had fucked you and god did it hurt. No matter how much he tried to bribe you with gifts and puppy dog eyes, Aki was on speed dial and he refused to do what the stubborn “pineapple” said. But Denji was desperate.

That was why one day when you came home from work late, you opened the door to Denji on his knees, nothing but a grovelling mess, begging for just a little release, and who were you to resist the sight before you?

Denji ecstatically dragged you to your bedroom, waiting patiently for you to command him. Giggling, you started undressing, leaving all but your panties and bra, and gesturing for Denji to do the same. The resulting “good boy” that was given to him send shivers down his spine, and made his cock throb.

“Kneel” you said, and Denji instantly knew what to do, crawling all hands and knees until his face was right by your damp pussy, and he immediately began licking and sucking all your favourite spots as soon as you tugged the plain underwear off, your small moans spurring him on. You felt yourself getting close, and then gently tugged Denji away, giving a sweet kiss to the pouting face of the boy beneath you, before gesturing to the bed with a list filled smirk. At your silent command, Denji leapt onto the bed, spreading himself out just like a toy ready to be used, so you did. As you rode Denji, the bouncing breasts in his face and warm, perfect heat he had missed for way too long, made him into a nonsensical, whining mess, blubbering at how perfect it was, how much he missed this, that he’d always be your good puppy just please please please don’t stop. Your highs kept drawing closer with every thrust, until you both came in unison, your fucked out puppy going limp as he fell asleep immediately with a satisfied and blissful smile.

A/N: two things, firstly this is my first time writing smut so constructive criticism is much appreciated, and also sorry if there are errors/weird formatting shit I did this all on mobile, thanks!

[ke1ng3hirn]

Literally just Xiao

Like sir, may I pls sit on ur dick?? He’s so smol n cute I just wanna take care of him and also just like- give him everything he could ever want and more <333

that’s it lol idk I’m fighting my sleeping meds rn lol

[ittybitty-enby]

GRABBING EVERY BIG RUN PLAYER ON THE PLANET. LISTEN UP.

TO DEFEAT THE HORRORBOROS:

THROW UR EGGS AT AND/OR INK THE BOMB WHILE IT'S FORMING IN ITS MOUTH!!!!!

IT STOPS THE BOMB FROM DROPPING AND DOES DAMAGE!!

KILL THAT WORM!!!!!!!!!!!

[ke1ng3hirn]

TAKE NOTE PEOPLE !!

[ke1ng3hirn]

𝓧𝓲𝓮 𝓛𝓲𝓪𝓷 𝓟𝓱𝓸𝓽𝓸 𝓓𝓾𝓶𝓹

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬!!

𝐀𝐬 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫!!

[ke1ng3hirn]

No thoughts just Xiao ♥︎

☆ Xiao x Reader Imagines ☆

Xiao, who tries to hide his anxiety behind a disinterested scowl as he gives you a bundle of glaze lilies for your birthday,

The way his face lights up like he’s just eaten almond tofu whenever he sees you

How he gets all blushy when you cuddle, but still refuses to admit how much he just adores every moment together and yearns for your presence whenever you part (◕﹏◕✿)

Plsplspls call him some punny nickname like xiao Xiao (小魈) he’ll give you the most adorable pout and grumble about how he’s not small as he looks up at you. (he really is smol tho (ღ˘⌣˘ღ))

Xiao would get all jealous too.. you had to stop taking him to the harbour because whenever you talked to a shopkeeper he would almost hiss at them like a feral cat.

And if you give him gifts omg he would almost pass out from happiness! His favourite person parting with one of their precious possessions only to give to him?? Xiao would protect it like it’s a crown jewel, no matter how insignificant it may be.

Ugh he’s so amsnalzna like pls sir just one chance 🤧🤧