EXPECTATIONS
Mike Driver
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@kebiin-senaar
ā Ā ERIN KELLYMAN IN TFATWS!
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When someone leaves you once, you expect it to happen again. Eventually you stop getting close enough to people to let them become important to you, because then you donāt notice when they drop off your world.
Jodi Picoult (via thoughtkick)
I used to think that any man of mine had to live up to a list of my expectations. I was wrong. Love has no list.
Rachel Gibson, Any Man of Mine (via thoughtkick)
My touch-starved ass: Tbh just need a hug rn
My fear of rejection and intimacy: I think tf not bitch
kebiin-senaarā:
Inside. Of course it is. Still, sheād asked for this, so she gives the man a quick nod before making her way to the hatch, pausing just long enough to call back to him.
āNameās Naiya, by the way,ā she doesnāt bother asking for his name, he can tell her if he wants but sheās not going to put off the work just to find out, and quickly heads inside before she can catch his reaction.
It doesnāt take her long to find the engine, and though heād mentioned having tools sitting out for her, what she finds is a little surprising. Andā¦ Thoughtful, even. She has her own, of course, but with what heās got set out for her she might not even need to use them.
She sets to work immediately, pulling panels open, investigating wiring, more or less just getting a feel for the ship to see what makes her tick. Itās something sheās always done, and often makes the actual repairs much easier, and she quickly falls into the familiar headspace of fixing something, getting lost in the serenity of it. Eventually she gets to a point where the use of her eyes unaffected by her helmetās visor is needed, and gives a quick look around before taking it off and setting it beside where sheās sitting, then dives back into the work.
Itās when she gets down to the finishing touches that a small worry starts niggling at the back of her mind, because she knows these last few connections require a pinpoint accuracy that she canāt get with her gloves on. Ordinarily taking them off would be out of the question, but somehow she feels like going back outside to explain to the man that she canāt finish the job would be nothing short of a kick in the teeth, after how courteous heās been to her.
Itās in her nature to want to finish this thing, to do a good job, and though instinct is screaming at her not to, she relents to her own perfectionist need and the gloves come off. Panic sings in her head as she continues the last, tedious workings, but she swallows it down, determined to see this through. Sheās careful and steady, practically holding her breath and holding herself together. So far, so good.
And then her hand twitches, knuckles barely brushing against the engine casing, and a cry rips from her throat as convulsions rip through her. Distant voices, images shimmering on the edge of her vision, a tumult of feelings not her own, all converge on her. Itās loud, painful, overwhelming, and she canāt even catch herself when she tips over onto her side, slamming unceremoniously into the tray of tools. Sheās still shaking when the world goes dark.
āNice ta meet you Naiya.ā Ezra tells her with a nod. He would usually be more focused on small talk and pleasantries but he is on a bit of a tight schedule all things considered. If he wants to get a break any time in the foreseeable future that meant he needed to actually get off his sorry ass and grind out some work. He knew a few spots he could head out to when it came to looking for his next job but he had a lot of things to consider when picking a job.
He needed to weigh the risks with each of the pickups and figure out if he can get from one place to the other as well as gas. He had too many things to figure into this mess so he had to focus. There was no time to flirt with the woman he was sure was very pretty. He had an eye for that sort of thing even without seeing someone but he wonāt be able to Ā figure out if heās right or not with this young woman.
The man hears a thud and raises a brow looking over at the ship. āYou doing alright there, sweetheart?ā He asks before he gets up making his way over to the ship. He walks in and sees her on the ground kneeling down next to Naiya glancing over at the young woman. He reaches a hand out to brush hair from her face trying to figure out if sheād hit her head bad.Ā āYou alright there? Now come on you need to wake up I donāt really have the time to bury some dead body Iām on a tight schedule.ā He tries to joke though he is nervous wondering if she is going to wake up.
Had Nai been awake she might have laughed at the joke, but she very much isnāt awake. Sheās still breathing, and the tremors have stopped, but sheād likely be out of commission for a few hours at least.
If Ezra looks closer heād find her mostly unhurt- bruised, maybe, but nothing unusual for the kind of fall she took, and definitely nothing that a good rest wouldnāt fix.
The man had only a few options open to him, really.
Settle her someplace outside his ship with her payment in her pockets, or set her up in his spare bunk until she wakes up- the latter of which was likely the safer option for everyone involved. And as out of it as she is, moving her wonāt wake her up, and explaining the situation when she does regain consciousness wonāt be all that difficult, all things considered.
Thanks to the repairs sheād managed before passing out, the ship itself was definitely space-worthy, at least enough to get her from point A to point B without much fuss- looking out for her would be the least he could do.
Pedro Pascal in Prospect
P9. Please?
āYouāve been smothering your radiance for so long / itās become a system of beliefā
ā ā Rosie Garland, from āLetter of rejection from a Black Hole,ā What Girls Do in the Dark
I have 2 sides & you can benefit from it!
Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet
PEDRO PASCAL as Ezra in Prospect (2018)
Mando oc doodle! Naiya Kando!
Ā Ā Ā Ā ANGERĀ Ā WASĀ Ā :Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā BETTERĀ Ā THANĀ Ā TEARS Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā BETTERĀ Ā THANĀ Ā GRIEF Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā BETTERĀ Ā THANĀ Ā GUILT
[ guard ] for your muse to step between my muse and danger
Naiya isnāt entirely sure how she managed to find herself in this situation. Being a bounty hunter chased by other bounty hunters sure puts a spin on her outlook on her life, but all she can really chalk up this nonsense to is whatever the hell had happened a month ago, when a would-be partner had cheated her out of both the bounty and the pay, despite her having been the one to do most of the work.
In a fit of rage, sheād yelled at the asshole, and then every glass object in the bar had promptly exploded. Sheād left quickly, of course, panicked and confused, and had gone to her ship and skipped star systems in her haste to simply get away.
Things had only gone downhill from there.
So now here she finds herself, fellow bounty hunters chasing her halfway across the galaxy because the Empire had seen what had happened in that bar somehow. And now sheās been deemed some sort of high priority bounty with a bunch of greedy diākut bastards on her tail.
She knows she doesnāt stand much chance against the three that have teamed up against her, but still, she holds her ground, both pistols trained on at least two of them at all times while they look her over. She could switch to her rifle, still strapped to her back, but that would mean holstering her pistols first and she isnāt even very good with the weighty weapon anyway, despite how much bigger a punch it could pack.
Then something happens, almost too quick for her to catch, something pulls at her attention, and her helmet jerks to the side, hunting for the source before realizing thereās another person in front of her, between herself and the other hunters. Instinctively, one pistol shifts, aiming for them just in case, but they seem to only be focused on the hunters. Itās odd, but she canāt dwell on that just yet. Whoever the person is, they arenāt attacking her yet, but sheād learned to never be too careful, and simply watches the scene before her unfold.
āNo, no. Stupid on their part,ā the Sith replied lightheartedly,Ā āespecially if they were specifically meant to capture you. Itās overkill, really, and there would have been inevitable squabbling over who got what cut.ā
He shrugged a little, straightening his cape and extending a hand.Ā āTrayous. Darth Trayous. You donāt exactly look like a local; are you new to Nar Shaddaa?ā Not that he had any room to talk about appearances, but it was more a matter of making conversation.Ā āCome on, Iām sure thereās somewhere safe you can recover without the fear of unfriendly eyes. What do you say?ā
Sure, he could feel the distrust coming off her, but it wouldnāt be right to just leave her on her own--and who knows, she might be swayed to his cause, given the right incentive. Heād just have to see.
āHmm,ā A noncommittal sort of noise, but the best she can do in place of actual words since she canāt seem to find any that suit the situation. Itās odd, to say the least. Sheās not used to people just... Helping her without immediately demanding something in return. And to continue extending the help? Nearly unheard of in her line of business.Ā
She doesnāt know whether heās out of touch with reality or simply naĆÆve, but she couldnāt deny it was, in a way, kind of nice.
His name, however, does give her slight pause. Sheād heard vague stories of those Force-users who did not call themselves Jedi, who gave themselves monikers to make them either stand out or sound more threatening. It could be a coincidence, but she doubts it. His weapon might not be a typical laser sword, but it still seems to work more or less the same. All in all, she truly does not know what to make of him, and the curiosity to know more is a greater allure than sheās capable of resisting.
āNo, not a local. But Iāve been here before, on business. Those hunters were diākut for sure, but they still managed to find my safehouse...ā Her voice trails off as she considers what he said. She doesnāt have many other options- her ship is temporarily grounded since the hunters had seen fit to sabotage something on it, and though sheād done business for several of the Hutts here, she wasnāt keen on owing one of them a favor for offering her sanctuary. They were more likely to double-cross her anyway and hand her off to the highest bidder who came calling.
āI take it you have someplace in mind? Iām stuck here until I can fix my ship anyway.ā
[ guard ] for your muse to step between my muse and danger
Naiya isnāt entirely sure how she managed to find herself in this situation. Being a bounty hunter chased by other bounty hunters sure puts a spin on her outlook on her life, but all she can really chalk up this nonsense to is whatever the hell had happened a month ago, when a would-be partner had cheated her out of both the bounty and the pay, despite her having been the one to do most of the work.
In a fit of rage, sheād yelled at the asshole, and then every glass object in the bar had promptly exploded. Sheād left quickly, of course, panicked and confused, and had gone to her ship and skipped star systems in her haste to simply get away.
Things had only gone downhill from there.
So now here she finds herself, fellow bounty hunters chasing her halfway across the galaxy because the Empire had seen what had happened in that bar somehow. And now sheās been deemed some sort of high priority bounty with a bunch of greedy diākut bastards on her tail.
She knows she doesnāt stand much chance against the three that have teamed up against her, but still, she holds her ground, both pistols trained on at least two of them at all times while they look her over. She could switch to her rifle, still strapped to her back, but that would mean holstering her pistols first and she isnāt even very good with the weighty weapon anyway, despite how much bigger a punch it could pack.
Then something happens, almost too quick for her to catch, something pulls at her attention, and her helmet jerks to the side, hunting for the source before realizing thereās another person in front of her, between herself and the other hunters. Instinctively, one pistol shifts, aiming for them just in case, but they seem to only be focused on the hunters. Itās odd, but she canāt dwell on that just yet. Whoever the person is, they arenāt attacking her yet, but sheād learned to never be too careful, and simply watches the scene before her unfold.
There were no words. No warning, nor orders to run.
There was just the spinning, flourishing red blur of an expertly wielded saberstaff.
Blaster bolt after blaster bolt is deflected out of the way, the caped stranger stepping and spinning as though it were second nature--but Trayous quickly tired of the game, stilling himself and precisely sending shots back towards the three huntersā weak spots: gaps in armor, between the eyes, wherever he could. They were dead before they hit the ground, and the Sith deactivated his dual-bladed weapon before turning to the woman heād just saved.
āAre you all right? I know bounty hunters fight dirty, but three against one is just stupid.ā
He knew full well he wasnāt her perfect idea of a guardian--Sith never were--but heād gotten the job done, and he was going to at least ensure her safety before moving on to his real objective on the planet.
āYou say that like I had a choice in the matter. Maybe I should have just asked them nicely to leave me alone?ā She doesnāt exactly mean for her words to come out in a sneer, but itās too late to take them back. Sheās tired from all the running sheād been doing, and she still doesnāt trust this stranger just yet.Ā āIām fine. They were never aiming to hurt me anyway, least not seriously. Wasnāt that kind of bounty.ā
She doesnāt add that she knows exactly what the bounty is for and why- again, beyond saving her she had no reason to trust him- but she did settle for holstering her pistols. Heād powered down his weapon, after all.
She almost asks him about it before stopping herself, as curious as that staff of his is, she isnāt keen on conversation like that just yet. Weapons were personal things, and she wants to keep this encounter out of those kinds of waters for as long as possible.
āThanks, by the way. I didnāt mean to sound ungrateful. Iām...ā She hesitates a moment, unsure if telling him her name is a good idea before deciding it makes little difference if he knows that small bit of information.Ā āIām Naiya.ā
kebiin-senaarā:
Naiya nods, unease settling back into place once the little baby is ushered off for naptime, but itās not as bad as before. With a sigh, she gathers her emotions back into check, willing the calmness to return even though she knows her nerves are going to be shot until she finally sees her father, even as sheās dreading the meeting.
When she makes her way to the cockpit sheās relatively put her emotions back in their proper places, and she comes up next to the pilot seat wordlessly, staring out the viewport at the blurred stars of hyperspace.
āI should warn you, this isā¦ Going to be a very awkward meeting. YourĀ burc'ya on Tatooine? Heāsā¦ Well I havenāt seen him in a very long time, I was just a little thing when he left, butā¦ā She fiddles with a sleeve, huffing to herself at the ridiculousness of it all.Ā āI know he never meant to abandon me, Iām sure thereās a good reason why he never came back, but itās hard to not be angry.ā
Itās not a proper explanation, not like what she told Hela, but sheās still on the precipice of a possible breakdown and crying in front of a fellow bounty hunter, a fellow mandoāade, will just make things even more awkward than they already are.
āItās strange being a foundling only to find out your buir is still alive after having accepted heās gone.ā
āIām sorry little one but you have to be careful you canāt let her see you do that. We have to be careful.ā Hela tells Grogu quietly before she puts him and Xenia in their beds giving them both a kiss on the forehead. She only did this because she loved them and wanted to keep them safe. Even if Naiya had a Jedi for a parent she didnāt know how she felt about that so she had to be safe.
Coming back to the cockpit she has a seat in one of the chairs smiling at Naiya trying to compose herself and act like she wasnāt worrying about it.Ā āI think everything will be just fine we can figure this out.ā She assures the young woman before looking to Din who seems to nod in conformation.
It was going to be strange to say the least but this was the best place for the group of them to hide out so it would have to do.Ā āShould we tell him for you? We could go out and tell him whatās happening if youād like. I want to keep you as comfortable as we can. Iām sure you could just sit in the back and make the sure the little ones actually sleep.ā Everything is going to be bad but maybe they can soften the blow at least a little bit for the two of them.
āWhatever it is you want to do weāll help we can stay here or you can stay back here whatever makes you comfortable.ā She assures before putting a hand on Naiyaās arm to give her a comforting pat. Hela didnāt know what that was like she knew her parents well at least when she was young. She may not have them around now but she had never thought of it as a loss like this sheād always kept them close.
Naiya shakes her head, letting out a nervous laugh at the idea of warning the man. She canāt imagine that would go over well, at least not for her, but she also isnāt one to just hide away from the problem. Not that it even is a problem, not really, sheās just... Scared. Scared of how seeing him again will make her feel, scared of what he might feel. Scared of messing it up somehow because she seems to have a knack for complicating simple things.
āIāll be alright, really. Just thought it would be fair to warn, just in case.ā
She feels the ship shudder, suddenly, as the Crest drops out of hyperspace and Tatooine fills the viewport. Din is busy with the console and Hela has taken her seat, but Naiya canāt seem to move. Locked in place as the planet looms closer and closer, unable to tear her eyes away. Thereās a humming inside her that she knows is the Force and she wants to ignore it but she canāt- it surges around her, warm and comforting like a new cloak- for some reason itās a welcome feeling.
She finally takes a seat as the ship lowers, an imposing palace coming into view, and before sheās fully realized that this is her fatherās home now, theyāre landing in front of the grand structure.
Panic wells up, warring with the peacefulness blanketed over her, and she feels suddenly sick to her stomach. Sheās not ready for this, but she has to force herself to be because if she waits sheāll never be ready.
