KeeLa MoMmY

Hello my name is Krislene Casucci I am a California living mama. I am married to my husband Nick Casucci for 4 years. We have 2 beautiful girls Hartlyn Elizabeth Casucci who was born March 17th 2012 and she is such a joy, and little Miss Kaylee Tylor Casucci who entered our world On January 13th, 2014. Mommyhood is amazing and I wouldnt have it any other way. l love to sing, cook, read, have playdates, hang out with friends. I am the type of person that always has to be doing something but since becoming a mother I have learned that if I have the time to relax I relax. I have been working with children for 10 years now from preschool teacher to nanny you name it I think Ive done it. In a few years I plan on opening up my own childcare center for low income families.

[keelamommy85]

I can't help but feel so empty. Just a week ago I had a baby in my belly that we thought was growing healthy and strong and in a blink of an eye it was all taken away from me for the second time within 7 months. I can't help but feel like my body is failing me and all I can think of is what if I can't have children anymore? What if this is it for me? I am still aching to have one more baby of our own before planning to adopt. I just don't know anymore. I just can't stop blaming myself for this happening and feeling so embarrassed. I know I'll get over it I know time will heal but in this moment I want to record what my feelings are right now because miscarriage sucks and I want to express my feelings rather than keep it all inside. I want other women who have/had miscarriages to know it's ok to talk about it. This is what miscarriage looks like, this is me right now. Before we start trying again I am focusing on my health mentally and physically and hopefully when the time is right we will have a healthy rainbow baby.

[keelamommy85]

Sad to say we are back here where we were 7 months ago. Went in yesterday to my doctors appt to find out our baby had no heartbeat. I'm completely devastated and I cannot believe this is happening. I don't know what to think anymore just that it sucks!

[keelamommy85]

I did it!

I made an appt to find out the gender tomorrow ! Eek! I’ve been putting it off for a while since I’m a little nervous and anxious to find out. I mean either way I’ll be happy with what we have but I’m still nervous. We will probably do a gender reveal cake to find out with family and friends this weekend for my birthday. Then we will probably do a gender reveal video to show everyone else. I’m excited but nervous at the same time. With my miscarriage I knew something was wrong at our gender ultrasound so I’m very nervous and my anxiety is going to be through the roof but luckily I have a doctors appt right before so that way we will know ahead of time everything is going good.

[keelamommy85]

This is what happens when hubby is off work and I'm out running errands.

[keelamommy85]

After every storm there is a rainbow!! And ours is coming in February 2017!!! Here's our announcement. Hartlyn handing down the big sister baton to Kaylee! We couldn't be more than thrilled to add a little miracle to our family! 😍😍😍😍

[keelamommy85]

Our 4th of July! Spent at my parents which was so nice because let's face it I've been feeling so sick lately and it was nice not having to worry about cooking and just hanging out. We were invited to a big party but after having my husbands birthday party I just wasn't feeling up to it. Hope everyone had an awesome fourth! 🇺🇸❤️💙😊😘

[keelamommy85]

Seriously

I might lose it and just go off on someone one day!

[keelamommy85]

Haven't posted any recent pics but here's Father's Day 2016!

[keelamommy85]

Ok

Finally I’m back! I didn’t think school was going to take over my life but it totally did. But now it’s over and I can officially say I passed all my classes and am so glad it’s over. I have one computer class to do to get my AA degree and I’ll be free from school (at least I think so) As far as the fam, we are doing great! The girls are growing and Nick is working like crazy so everything has been going pretty well. As far as more babies well we are trying and hopefully soon we will have good news to announce soon. The girls are always asking for mommy to have a baby so just keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we begin our journey again. Hope everyone has been doing good! So glad to be back and hopefully I can start updating more.

[keelamommy85]

Just some fun recent pics from Hartlyns birthday day at Disneyland and then Easter and the weeks after. We have been spending a lot of time with friends and family so we have been pretty busy.

[keelamommy85]

Slowly

Making my way back to updating on here. But since starting school I've been extremely busy since I have an exam seriously like every week. We have been doing pretty good as far as everything else goes. We have been actively ttc just these past 2 weeks since I got my first menstrual cycle after the miscarriage so it kind of got things back to normal. I'm sure I ovulated this last week so we are currently in our 2 ww. I'm extremely nervous and hopeful that it will happen and everything will be fine. The girls are growing so much Hartlyn who has just turned 4 and Kaylee who is now 2 and I cannot believe it! I'll share some photos in my next post. They've been keeping me busy and have helped a lot with our healing process and I couldn't be more grateful. Hope everyone is doing good on here.

[keelamommy85]

Sooo

It's go time again we have decided to start trying again for another baby. It's been 3 weeks since our loss and we feel we are ready to try again. I've done the research and it says as soon as you feel ready emotionally and you start ovulating again it's the best time to start trying right away then to wait. Last week was supposed to be ovulation time but since I was still bleeding, I took some ovulation tests that clearly said I wasn't. So I've been doing ovulation tests this week and yesterday and today we're both positive so we will be trying all weekend. Let's pray we get a sticky baby. I've read that your most fertile after a miscarriage just like after having a baby so our chances are pretty high but because it's hard to detect your menstrual and ovulation days things might not happen right away. Whenever it's the right time it will happen. It's been very emotional the past couple weeks and we were able to grieve with our family and friends but having my two girls and hubby right next to me throughout this process has made it much better and they remind me everyday of how blessed I am no matter what the circumstances are.

[thewhaleridingvulcan-deactivate]

If you've lost a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss please reblog this

[myonlysonshine]

Officially have started meds this cycle and moving forward with an IUI in a couple of weeks. I’m starting to get really nervous and anxious about it, but we’re ready to take the next step! Infertility treatment has been stressful, time consuming, heartbreaking and very expensive. It makes me so frustrated that my body can’t do this naturally and all the extra hormones and meds are driving me crazy…but I can’t wait to finally be done and holding our second child that we have been praying and longing for. If anyone wants to share their IUI success stories id really appreciate it! :)

[makingmyhomeinyourheart]

Praying for you friend!! ❤️

[keelamommy85]

Believing you will be blessed very soon! Who knows maybe we will be preggo at the same time 😊

[keelamommy85]

THis has been the hardest thing

To go through but with much greatness comes great sadness. We lost our sweet little prince. We don't know when it happened but we spent all day Friday in the ER for some cramping and spotting to find out our little boy had no heartbeat. We are totally devastated and in such disbelief that it's been really hard. We have never had any complications so please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we grieve over something we never thought would happen. Probably won't be on here or social media for a while but thought I should let you guys know. Thank you all!

[keelamommy85]

We found out what we are having last night and we couldn't be more excited to be adding a little BOY to our little family! Hubby was super excited and as you could tell so was I. Lol can't wait to meet our little man in August. 😍😍😍💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[keelamommy85]

Sorry everyone it's been a while since I last posted its been super crazy and this pregnancy is far from easy. Now that I'm in my second trimester I've been getting my energy back and not feeling as nauseous as I was before. (Thank god!) i still throw up every morning which I had with my other pregnancies but usually after that I'm good for the rest of the day. Little bump is growing fast as we hit 15 weeks. And we will be finding out the gender on Wednesday and I'm super nervous and anxious. I also start school this week I'll be taking 4 classes during the spring semester (I must be crazy) but these are my last to get my AA DEGREE In child development. It's been 5 years since I went to school so I'm nervous to go again. I'll try to post more now that I'm not feeling like I'm going to die .