Let’s talk about the psychology of gaslighting, manipulation and the “bread crumbing” phenomenon.
You might wanna read this intentionally…
Have you ever wondered why you are so “in love” with that person even when they treat you like trash? Like for some reason, you keep making excuses for them… here’s where the bread crumbing phenomenon comes in.
In the beginning, they shower you with so much “love”, gifts and all the attention you could ever desire; you can say 100% of their efforts (PS: that’s what you call love bombing). All this is so they can get their hooks into you and you be so into them, they can never do wrong. You get addicted to the ideal personality that they’ve shown you that even if they begin to act differently, you tell yourself “something must be wrong and it’s not entirely their fault”. You have been convinced that they’re the “ideal” partner for you.
But of course as time goes by, they take away a “bread crumb”, 5% at most so you don’t really notice; but even if you do notice, it would not be something “big enough” for you to complain about- after all, it’s just 5%
All of a sudden, their 100% effort trickles down to 95, 90, 85… do you realize where I’m going with this???
Of course, it won’t go down totally easily just like that for memory is a fickle thing. But then when you begin to complain what do they do…
They just give back 5% so an 7 becomes 75 but the sinister thing there is that all of a sudden, you’re so grateful for 75% when they were originally giving you 100%.
75% becomes your new 100% that you would so grateful to have. The new 10 of 10 happiness for you. And then, they continue this process till it gets to zero, at which point you’ll be thanking them genuinely for using you like a dog.
You’re probably wondering why you tolerate that???
It’s simple calculus, losing 5 from 100 is 5% but gaining 5 from 5 is doubling up and that’s you gaining 100%
Now you should think, what is bread crumbs to a kind but a feast to a peasant.
From this point is where gaslighting comes you. You can’t complain or even dare question things because the little you get is like a 100 to you, so you settle to enjoy your new 100 while losing yourself and every sense of value.
In the process you have become erroneously attached, hyper codependent and unwilling to let go because you have been psychologically conditioned to see this person as the best there is and could ever be for you. So you take all the disrespect because you’re not even willing to see anything better out there for you.
That my friend, is how manipulation/gaslighting works in its full glare.
The interesting thing is, you’ll never agree you’re being manipulated when someone from without tells you because who’s this person to talk to you about your perfect person.
janainaart
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