Levi Ackerman x Hange Zoë
tags: Levihan one shot, female hange zoe, she/her pronouns for hange zoe
also available on ao3! -> battle scars by kiaisawitch
Hange never thought she’d be alive.
She was 100% sure she’d die after that decision she took. She was ready. She was so ready to leave it all. To leave everyone and count on them to finish this hell on earth that Eren started. To leave her comrades, to leave her best friends,
To leave Levi. her best partner. God, she loved him so much.
She was glad that she didn’t face any of them when she headed towards the millions of wall titans. Or else they’d see the tears running down her face.
She was ready to die, but by the walls, she didn't really want to. She wants to stay, live the rest of her life in peace. She still has yet to explore the whole world. The big, beautiful, cruel world that they never really got to enjoy even after discovering that the sea exists.
Perhaps the gods—if what Onyankopon says is true—has decided that this wasn’t her time just yet.
Because for some reason, when she opens her eyes, she’s not in the afterlife.
Hange blinks open her eyes slowly, closes it again, and opens it. The first thing she saw and noticed was a ceiling made out of fabric—a tent?—she slowly came to realize. The second thing she noticed was that she’s breathing. Slowly, and a bit painfully. The third thing she noticed, was that her whole body is covered in bandages, and that even twitching her digits stings.
The final thing she noticed—when she finally gathered up her whole strength to move her head—was that Levi is beside her.
She might’ve gasped or shifted a bit too loud as usual, because Levi opened his eyes immediately, and their eyes locked again after what felt like an eternity. For a minute, neither of them said anything.
“You’re awake,” Levi finally spoke. There’s a hint of uncertainty in his voice, that sounds like he doesn’t believe she’d actually make it. Hange didn’t say anything at first. She wasn’t even sure if she could speak at all after that burning man act. Did she? Did she burn her vocal chords? She tried to clear her throat, to find out if she could make any sound. A small voice came out, she breathed a sigh of relief to know that her vocal chords weren’t exactly fried.
She started to open her mouth, trying to form words. Turns out it was still pretty hard.
“Hey, it’s okay. Take it easy,” Levi noticed Hange’s desperate attempt to speak. His hand rises to meet hers at the side of her torso, also heavily bandaged. Even though she knew it should’ve hurt, Levi’s touch was so light and soft she could barely feel it.
It took a few more breaths and gathering energy for her to finally try another attempt at speaking.
Levi took a sharp breath.
Levi’s touch on her hand tightens slightly. “We saved you, just in time.” Levi answers. “Turns out, the bullet didn’t cause a huge damage on the airship, thus making the mechanics fix it in a short amount of time. We caught you mid air, you’ve got burn marks on your whole body,” Levi trails off, his eyes wandering across her heavily bandaged body. Hange wonders if Levi’s eyes are glistening, or if she’s imagining things. Hange moved her chin downward as a subtle nod. Levi retracted his hand on hers and started to move his wheelchair.
“I’m going to find the doctor,” He said, as he wheeled his own chair towards the opening of the tent. Hange could barely see him even as he only moved a couple centimeters away from her, since she doesn’t have her glasses. Her limited vision started to make her head dizzy, so she tried to close her eyes while waiting for Levi and the doctor to come.
Somehow, she fell asleep again by the time they both came.
When she awoke again, the sun had gone down. She doesn’t know if it’s the same day as before, or if she passed out for multiple days. All she knows is that Levi is still by her side, with his arms crossed and his eyes shut. Judging by his soft and slow breaths, he’s probably sleeping. She doesn’t want to bother him, so she tries to be as silent as possible. Her eyes are still blurry, so she needs to find out if she has her glasses, and to do that she has to be able to move her whole body.
She tried by moving her fingers first (still stings), but as she repeated the motion several times, it started to sting less and less. By the time her fingers barely sting anymore, she started to move her palm and wrist (stings even more). When she finally got to move her entire arm, somehow Levi noticed and his eyes shot open.
Hange moved her neck to the left to look at Levi. Their eyes meet again, and Levi’s eyes soften as he truly realizes that Hange is alive and well, albeit scarred.
“How do you feel?” Levi started. Hange let out a sigh and answered, “Fine… i guess. My whole body… stings.” Levi nods. “The doctor said you have 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over you, with the worst parts over at your extremities and your torso. Thankfully they could fix it,” Levi’s eyes glanced over Hange's hair “although, perhaps you could use a haircut,” his hand moves up to Hange’s leftover hair, since almost half of it burned in the fire. Hange’s lips quirked into a small smile, “about time.” She sighs.
“Where’s my glasses?” She started and looked at Levi again. Levi’s lips turned into a thin line. “I think you lost it in the battle. Although, the doctor has ordered a new prescription for you. It’s around -7.00, right?” Levi explained. “You remembered my prescription,” she chuckled. Levi’s expression stayed neutral, but there is a tinge of redness starting to appear on his cheeks. “Obviously. Who else has eye prescriptions that high?” Levi rolled his eyes.
After a minute, Levi asks “how are you feeling?” his hand started to find her forearm, landing a light touch like before. “Stiff. Stings. Blurry. Pick your poison, I guess” Hange chuckles. “How long was I out?” she finally asks him the question that’s been bugging her. “A little over two weeks.” Levi answered.
“What happened? Did we win? Did the rumbling stop?”
Hange’s eyes darken, “Oh.”
“It had to be done. Mikasa was the one who dealt the final blow” Levi diverts his eyes to her bandaged arms. Hange frowned, “that must’ve been hard for her. Considering how she loved him so much,” She squinted her eyes. Levi hums in agreement.
“So, what now? What happened to the rest?” Hange asks as she stares at the tent ceiling. “Most of them are still recovering, but a few have started to take action towards peace diplomacy. Armin, I think.” Levi explained. Hange nods.
“And what exactly happened to you, my captain?” Hange raised her eyebrows at Levi. “I hurt my knee at the final battle. I could still walk, but it hurts after a while. I’m going to need a wheelchair or a cane for the rest of my life,” Levi sighed. Hange’s gaze softened, a frown starting to form at her lips. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll live. It’s about time I take some rest, even from walking.” Levi scoffed. Hange huffed, then chuckled. “And just when I thought you couldn’t get any shorter, shorty.” Hange exclaimed, which earned her a piercing glare from Levi. “never lost your wit, huh, shitty glasses?” Levi snarks. She bursts into a full laugh, which later on turns to a fit of cough. Levi immediately stood up to rub circles on her back and offered her some water.
“You should rest, so you can properly recover. We have plenty of time to rest now” Levi semi-whispered as he sat back down in his wheelchair. Hange didn’t answer, but she felt her eyelids start to droop again.
Before she fell asleep again, she mustered up a few words.
“Thank you for being here with me, Levi.”
Levi’s gaze at her softens, he nods and his hand moves up to her bare shoulder and strokes it lightly. He still smiles at her as she goes back to sleep.
4 weeks have gone by since Hange first woke up. She has had several skin grafts procedures to fix her 3rd degree burn scars. All this time, her body is still covered in bandages, and she never exactly saw her scars. She felt a few light ones on her neck and face, but she hasn’t been ready to see them all.
The others had visited her a few times. Armin, Jean, Connie, Pieck, Reiner, Annie, Gabi, Falco, and Onyankopon had met her, and gave her updates about the ongoing events in the world. The only one whom she hasn’t met is Mikasa, because she retired back to paradis and stayed there for the whole time. Armin told her everything is under control, and that Hange should just rest and enjoy her retirement. Armin and Jean had to beg Levi to convince Hange to stop worrying about them and let them handle everything from now on. Gabi and Falco were by far the ones that visited them the most, since they started volunteering to help the survivors on fort salta.
Levi never left the tent. By the time she woke, he fully moved in with her on the still-makeshift hospital tent. He tends to her every need. He fed her, helped her clean up, helped her dress, helped wash her delicate hair and scalp (even trims a few of the burned ends—Hange called it mini haircut), and stayed with her throughout her gruesome healing process.
Besides overthinking about the world situation, she overthinks a lot about her scars. The doctor says in a few days they’ll be able to take off the bandages. But Hange has already gotten used to the bandages, and her new scars would probably terrify her.
Levi didn’t share the same thought as her.
She thought of the conversation they shared a few nights ago, when she just got out of her 5th—or 6th?—skin graft procedure, the final one, this time for her legs.
“How do you feel?” Levi grabs Hange’s hand, this time, the bandages aren’t as thick as it were a few weeks ago when she first awoke.
“Feels like I just changed my skin. Ha, I think I'm a reptile now” Hange joked. “Yeah. Because you’re all hiss, no bite?” Levi snarks, but his tone is friendly and his lips turn into a smirk.
“Oh, please. I bite! Didn’t you recall my awesome fire acrobat?” Hange grins. Levi’s smirk is instantly gone, and his eyes darken. “Shitty act. Never do that again.” He shakes his head lightly, and diverts his eyes to cleaning a non-existent dirt under his nails. Hange smiled, “yeah. I think I'm done with the skin modifications” Hange sighs. Levi’s hand squeezes hers ever so lightly.
“I’m gonna look horrible, don't I?” Hange’s eyes drooped down to her chest, her eyebrows scrunched and the corner of her lips started to quiver. Levi immediately looked up to her face, his gaze softened. “It won’t change who you are,” Levi strokes her hand. “I’m probably gonna look like a reptile. All scales, kids will get scared of me probably” Hange continues, she doesn’t realize her eyes started to glisten.
“Fuck them kids,” Levi scoffed. That earned a chuckle from Hange, but the chuckle turned into soft sobs shortly. Levi scooted closer—even closer than before—to her bedside, his fingers touching her lightly scarred cheek. His thumb moved to wipe the tears from her face. “I mean it. I won’t look at you any different, even with all your scars. Do you look at me differently with my scars?” Levi asks.
Hange finally looked up to see Levi’s eyes. She blinked a couple times to get rid of the remaining tears, and took her—now misty—glasses (she finally got her glasses) and put them on her lap.
“No,” she replied. “You’re so beautiful, especially with your scars,” Hange sniffled. Levi smiles, the kind of smile that he only shows to Hange, no one else. “Good to know,” Levi moved his thumb on her cheek, and she leaned in more to his touch. “Not a fair comparison though. Your scars are cool, mine’s a wreck.” Hange claims.
“Well, someone fixed my face pretty good. And I never got to really thank that person. I thought that person would be dead,” Levi huffs and pulled away his hand
“Thankfully, that person didn’t, huh? I never got to thank whoever was dragging me to the airship from mid air” Hange smiles at Levi.
For a while, they just stare at each other. Both of them getting lost in each other’s eyes.
The day finally came for Hange to unwrap her bandages.
She felt fine, her scars are healing rapidly and healthily. She barely feels them anymore, not unless she puts some pressure on them. At times, she still felt itchy. The doctors said that’s a normal thing, it means her skin is healing. She fought against itching them the whole time, she even started scratching the sheets on her mattress. One time, Levi offered his hand for her to scratch so she could relive the sensation. Her heart felt so warm at that thought, Levi being considerate.
The doctor came at around 11 am. “Commander Hange, are you ready?” The doctor smiled and put on some latex gloves. “Ready as i’ll ever be, i guess” Hange chuckled nervously. Levi stands by (or perhaps, sits by in his wheelchair) beside her, holding her hand. She’s glad to have his support for this whole time. The doctor started to cut the bandages one by one.
One by one, the bandages are removed, and she could finally start to see the new scars on her body, starting from the one on her forearms.
It looked angry and red. There’s a bunch of bumps that looked streaky and fibrous, and Hange felt like the skin turned thicker and she could feel it when she slightly twisted her wrist. Her knuckles also have a few keloid scars, which look like dark red bumps that are a bit sore when she touches them.
By the time every bandage is off, she finally lets go of a breath she wasn't aware she was holding. She looked over to the mountain of slightly off coloured bandages on the floor, and started to look at her body. The doctor has prepared a mirror for her to look at her face. She's never seen her face up until now, and she refused to look at mirrors up until today.
Hange looked over to Levi, who’s been eyeing her warily. When her gaze met his, his eyes softened and a soft smile started to form from the edges of Levi’s lips. The doctor offered her the hand mirror, but Hange puts it down in her lap, not really ready to see herself.
“Tell me, is it bad?” she asks Levi. Levi raises his eyebrows, “it’s decent, four-eyes. The doctor did a great job on most of them.” Levi nodded to the doctor. Hange fidgets nervously on the handle of the mirror. She bit her lips and waited for a few seconds, until she finally spoke.
“Scoot over closer to me, i want to see you too in the mirror” She requested. Levi obliged, and wheeled himself closer so that he is now exactly beside Hange, and Hange shifted closer to the edge of her bed so they’re right next to each other. Hange still fidgets on the mirror handle. Seeing her nervousness, Levi put a hand on top of Hange’s hand that’s holding the mirror. “We’ll do it together,” Levi looked over at Hange, she nodded.
They both lifted the hand mirror, and Hange finally saw what she looked like.
Her hair is now very short, it’s cut in a pixie style now so she couldn’t style it in a half ponytail like she used to. Her face has a few discoloration and scars that have faded a lot more than the ones she saw on her body. Her eyes looked sunken and darker than it used to be, and one of her eyebrows looks like it’s been burnt in half.
She looked at Levi’s eyes through the mirror, and found out that he’s been looking at her eyes as well. Levi nodded slightly, giving Hange the courage she needed to look more at her face and to her neck. She does, and slowly turns her head to completely see the whole picture, also sees her neck that has a few burn marks as well.
After a while, she puts down the mirror onto her lap. Hange glances over to the doctor, who’s been standing awkwardly beside her this whole time. “Will it… heal more? Or is this going to be the final look?” she asks. The doctor smiled, “some of them will heal better, and would be smoother like the ones in your face. But some of them would probably stay like this for a while, could be years.” Hange nodded. The doctor excused himself, giving the couple some privacy.
There’s a couple minutes of silence, of Hange slowly accepting this is how she looks now. Levi stayed still beside her, drawing patterns on her palm. Until finally, Hange sighed and looked over at Levi.
“Could be worse, eh?” she finally said. Levi’s hand cups Hange’s face and strokes her cheek. “Yeah, like you dying and leaving me alone,” Levi scuffs, but his eyes radiate all the warmth. “Does the pixie cut make me look cool?” Hange nervously said, her lips quivered a bit and Levi’s other hand on her palm squeezed it harder.
“You’ve never looked more beautiful, four-eyes.” Levi smiled.
“That’s the first time i’ve heard you say that,” Hange returns the smile.
Levi slowly leaned in and brought Hange’s face closer, as she also ever so slightly tilted her head. Both of their gaze drifted to each other’s lips, then her eyes fluttered shut and their lips touched.
It was the softest kiss Hange had ever received. Gentle and warm, it was a steadying kiss. In the way he kissed her, she already felt what he really wanted to say. That he’s here, he’s not going to leave, and he loves her the way she is, battle scars and all. Just as she loves him, because of them, despite them, and everything in between.
Hange’s calloused hands went up to Levi’s jaw, as the kiss deepened and they’re going to run out of breath soon.
When they pulled away from each other, they both broke into wide smiles.
Yeah, she’s glad she’s alive.
