not to derail here, i am not trying to dominate the conversation. just more so (handshake) solidarity.
this person is an absolute troll. they've been doing this in my (re: the intersex) community as well. almost word for word, "this doesn't happen! prove it! well, it doesn't happen IRL!" they're a bullshitter. they're constantly derailing conversations. they reek of a 4channer trying to bait & shitstir.
they told an intersex blogger they were "demonizing normal behavior" re infant genital mutilation. another intersex blogger was accused of "making the queer community seem evil." and that she "was taking it too far" pointing out intersexism. their reactions are all troll shit. this person is a bad actor.
anyways i am not transmasc and i have witnessed with my own two eyeballs people treating all transmasculinity as lesser than, "girls playing dress up" or "trans lite" or "lesbians being butch" among other heinous things.
so if anyone who is reading this is not a troll and genuinely just thinks like this you need to pull your head out of your ass and start listening to members of your community who aren't people like yourself. if you don't see a problem in the community you're likely not impacted by it so why would it be visible to you? listen to other people talk about it though and you start to see that shit everywhere. engage in good faith and you might learn something.
this is coming from someone who did this for YEARS IN REAL LIFE. i did workshops on intersexism in my early adulthood. i got paid. it was my job. i was asked to come to queer events, schools, queer-run summer camps.
and the way i see people talking about transmisandry/antitransmasculinity/transandrophobia is the same way people talked to and about me for discussing intersexism in my community in. real. life. and i don't fucking buy into it. don't demonize and vilify people for telling you to do better. don't tell them their lived experience "isn't happening" or that you know their lived experience better than they do. and don't assume it's a pain/trauma olympics thing. that's reactionary bullshit that stops you from just listening. and all people are asking you to do is listen & learn.