It's great to see your posts again! I had always wondered that when you and Dean first met, I'm assuming he didn't drop the ball about what he does for his career? When and how did he first tell you, and what would you say is the biggest hardship on your personal lifestyle due to his career? Other than that, congratz on the engagement~ you two make the cutest couple and I wish you guys the best :D
Thank you :) I did disappear again for another (almost) month, however that was only because I was in my final month of college and needed to focus solely on that. I just finished my final capstone project on Thursday and have officially graduated. Degree earned. :)
Also, good assumption on your part. The night I met Dean was a Saturday night in San Francisco. I was supposed to meet up with friends at the Lonestar and after waiting around for about 30 minutes I got a text from them saying there weren’t going to make it out after all. I knew at that point that several other friends had planned on going to the Eagle, so I walked down there to hang out with them.
At one point while I was talking to them I saw this incredibly handsome guy I’d never seen before walk through the front door. The bar was crowded and I was standing out on the back porch and could only see the door and after a second I lost sight of him.
Ten minutes later I feel a tap on the shoulder and I turn around and it’s that guy. He holds out his hand and says “Hi, I’m Dean. I just wanted to say you are a very handsome guy. You are like my dream bear.”
I can’t remember exactly what I said back other than “oh…uh…thanks”, but I remember feeling really stupid that I didn’t have anything intelligent to respond with. It didn’t matter though as we immediately connected and after introducing him to all my friends, he did the same with the group he was with and then discussion turned to where we were from and what we were doing in SF, as I was in town from Seattle and he was there for the weekend from LA. He only responded with “actually I just finished a big project at work and wanted to celebrate by taking a weekend away.
To me, that meant he was on vacation escaping work, so I didn’t feel like I should then strike up a conversation about work. We spent the rest of the evening just talking about music and family and relationships and when he asked me later what I did for a living, I told him.
I then asked "so what do you do for a living?”
“oh, I work in the film industry” he said.
“very cool. what exactly do you do?”
At this point I thought I’d figured out who he was. A friend of mine that had moved to LA about a year before had been talking earlier that day about a guy he had the hots for that had directed Lilo & Stitch. My friend was already dating a guy, though, so he said he was trying to set his friend up with him. I had no idea who he was talking about nor had I ever seen a picture of Dean though.
“wow, that’s great. What kind of films do you make?”
“Mostly animated films, but I just finished a concert documentary about an Icelandic band called Sigur Ros. Have you ever heard of them?”
“actually, yes” I replied. "they are amazing"
And with that, he’d sort of returned the conversation back to music and he gushed over the band like a fanboy. I was immediately smitten. lol.
We didn’t talk about his job again that night. The next night when I saw him I asked him about his job in more detail and he was happy to answer questions about it, but never did he come out and just offer details or switch the conversation to his work. We had plenty of other things to talk about and most of the time was spent with him asking me questions about myself and my life and my daughter.
Looking back, it isn’t surprising. I never felt like he was purposely not telling me about it. It’s just who he is. Dean is the most humble and generous soul I’ve ever known. His family was dirt poor and his father died when he was 18 years old, leaving his mother to support 4 children by herself. Things like family, responsibility, loyalty, and hard work were his reality and his dedication inspires me daily. He’d much rather talk about you and what makes you tick, than to shift the focus onto himself and his work. He just never thinks of himself as any better than anyone else, ever, and I love him dearly because of it.
As far as hardships to our personal life as a consequence of his career, I can’t really say.
Hardships wouldn’t be the right word to describe them, I know that. We consider ourselves VERY fortunate to live the way we do. There are so many people out there that are out of work, or sick without insurance, or in situations like Dean’s mother was, a single parent, supporting an entire family on one meager income.
For us to complain about having to spend prolonged time away from each other and calling it a “hardship” just seems pathetic. It feels like a “1st world problem” and we try really hard to count our blessings instead of focus on the negatives. Of course it sucks to be apart from the person you love, but it’s never permanent and “distance makes the heart grow fonder”, right? :)
Sorry about the extra long reply. ;) Thank you also for the kind words as they are much appreciated. Not long now. Just a couple more weeks. :)
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