Ken's Kernels of Wisdom

Wise, humorous, cynical, true. This is a fanblog for Bard College Head of Security, Ken Cooper's quotes (taken from the emails he sends to the Bard undergraduates).

[kencooperquotes]

"Helmets save grey matter."

[kencooperquotes]

"Reflective tape, head lamps, Olympic Torches, Christmas lights will help to mitigate the possibility of becoming road kill."

[kencooperquotes]

"Skate boarders rolling on Annandale Road in the dark, using black camouflage - very odd."

Drivers have been shaken as they come close to squishing Bardian skateboarding ninjas.

[kencooperquotes]

"I am the nagging voice of reason."

I am Director of Security of Bard College. I am the nagging voice of reason. I am also the Team Director of the Bard College Collegiate Cycling Team, and have had numerous cycling crashes, two of which should have been  fatal. The two gross looking helmets hanging outside my office that look like props from Saw-ll are mementos of those crashes- they saved my life...twice."

[kencooperquotes]

Let's help them discover Bard... slowly.

Bardians who will be on campus [Discovery Day] may become impromptu tour guides for those guests who do not know their way around our Bard Park.  A pleasant smile and some accurate directions will help immensely.

Let's help them discover Bard... slowly.

[kencooperquotes]

"Avoiding obvious 'pot holes' along your life path will help you live long and prosper."

[kencooperquotes]

"All colleges have faculty, staff and students who walk while they're minds are tuned into more interesting things, other than where they are walking."

[kencooperquotes]

"Annandale Road, contrary to popular belief, is not a Bard sidewalk."

It is a well traveled public road. The many  vehicles traveling that road are piloted by highly intelligent and very preoccupied minds; thinking about Plato, high octaves or the use of "No" in Shakespeare's Othello.

[kencooperquotes]

"Please use the bike racks B&G has provided. Bikes attached to railings, trees, or snoozing friends will [be] removed and transported to security, minus a lock."

[kencooperquotes]

"The contact between unprotected human flesh, and aluminum or steel mountain bikes, is not pretty."

[kencooperquotes]

"Welcome to our oasis on planet earth."

Welcoming the freshmen to Bard.