* seen / empathy @keptlast-blog - Tumblr Blog

❛ are you having doubts? ❜

some meme a long long time ago. / accepting anyways.

“ what makes you so certain that it’s me who’s having doubts? “ your words are sharp enough to draw venom , and now that this relationship you’ve had with your best friend feels threatened, it’s making you lash out and sabotage everything good you’ve ever had with jonah. you tell yourself that you weren’t cut out for this — that modern day romance wasn’t your style, and that you didn’t deserve this. or maybe, you were too far gone and felt things way too deeply to really be able to continue down this path.

you don’t say anything more, shifting the weight between your feet to try and regain your balance, though it was never really your weight that was off kilter. you wonder if there’s more going on in his life that he’s not telling you, and you’re afraid that you’re going to lose him forever. you’re used to it. everyone seems to disappoint you one way or another. it was only a matter of time.

#bodyafraid #⸰ ° ARC. UNDECIDED / 002.#wow here's some teenage aja #i come back with this

surprise bitch

bet u thought u saw the last of me

#⸰ ° PRETTY DANG GOOD WITH A NEEDLE / OOC.

tarot reader: now I will show you your fortune

me: cool I guess

tarot reader: why is every card death, what the fuck, I don't even have that many death cards

me: figures

#!!!!!!!#⸰ ° DO YOU CARE ABOUT ALL THE LITTLE THINGS OR ANYTHING AT ALL / CH. STUDY.

bodyafraid:

SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO. he reads her like an open book. like one of his favourites, with worn pages and a bent spine. the coffee stain on chapter twelve.

he knows it bothers her. and maybe if his morality wasn’t smeared in shades of grey, it would bother him, too. the town does not choose its victims –– they always have a choice. to live, or to die. she made hers. that is not on him to explain. she must expect this to weigh on his conscience. he think that a part of it still does, but it is small and insignificant.

most of the time.

he is not heartless. but he has seen what grief does to good men. he has felt that burden, and there are still days where he wakes to the weight of it pressing down on his chest. ❛ so, what do you want me to do ? knock on the door in the dead of night and tell him that the bathtub he passed out piss - drunk in is the same one she bled out in ? the same one i lifted her cold corpse out of ? look me in the eye and tell me again. that you would want to know. ❜

it would leave him with more questions than anything else. questions that he can’t give him the answer to. no, questions that he does not want to give him the answer to.

she stops, choosing to shut down rather than to push him further. she couldn’t answer that. and maybe he knew that. maybe he already knew that she’d deflect ---- it was easier that way sometimes. to plead the fifth and move on to a different topic before they could circle back and revisit.

she doesn’t hold it against him. never could. the things he’s dealt with throughout the years was enough to make her own head spin. she’d been a part of it, to help him cope or calm down, or really she tried to serve as a distraction for it all. so the last thing she should be doing was trying to educate him on what was morally right or wrong. he didn’t need that. and she wasn’t about to start a fight with him. it wasn’t worth it.

a beat. ‘ you look like you could use another drink. this one’s on me, ’ she says, trying to flip the script. it was easier this way. to change the subject instead of continue on like this. but she looks down the entire time, staring at her nails as she shakes her head. ‘ no. i wouldn’t want to know. ‘

#⸰ ° ARC. THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL IS HEAVY BUT YOU WERE MEANT FOR THIS / MAIN VERSE.#bodyafraid

auliicraval

iconic vines sentence meme .

❛ suck a motherfucking dick . ❜

❛ i thought you were bae , turns out you were just fam . ❜

❛ i thought you were american . ❜

❛ is that a weed !? ❜

❛ i won’t hesitate bitch ! ❜

❛ chipotle is my life . ❜

❛ turn off the flash you fucking moron ! ❜

❛ kiss my ass bitch motherfucker ! ❜

❛ is that a police !? ❜

❛ i’m calling the weed ! ❜

❛ done & done , let me pull the table out of my ass . ❜

❛ merry crisis ! ❜

❛ i don’t have enough money for chicken nugget . ❜

❛ i’m ready to die anytime , any place , for any reason . ❜

❛ hey guys , we’re unboxing this cheese stick today . ❜

❛ i aint never gonna stop loving you , bitch . ❜

❛ this is the comedy police ! that joke’s too funny ! ❜

❛ i’m not going back to jail ! ❜

❛ what the fuck ? $599 for a fucking playground ? that looks like a piece of shit . ❜

❛ FUCK YOUR TEA ! ❜

❛ the feminists are taking over ! ❜

❛ I GOT TWO FREE TACOS ! ❜

❛ and they were roommates ! ❜

❛ i’m not your friend ! ❜

❛ there’s no saving this sweet piece of ass . ❜

❛ hi welcome to chili’s ! ❜

❛ yeah tip of the penis to you too . ❜

❛ this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you ! ❜

❛ welcome to bible study , we’re all children of jesus . ❜

❛ aw fuck , i can’t believe you’ve done this . ❜

❛ YO HOLY SHIT HE DEAD ! ❜

❛ this is the dollar store , how good can it be ? ❜

❛ step back , i think i’m gonna vomit ! ❜

❛ oh sorry , i didn’t see ya there , i was too busy blocking out the haters . ❜

❛ shut up ! your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos ! ❜

❛ I’LL TAKE A NAP HERE ! ❜

❛ i hate to do this but i specifically asked for no mustard and you just brought me a bottle of mustard on a plate . ❜

❛ how are we gonna win if we fucking die ? ❜

❛ why the fuck would i say printer ? ❜

❛ the benefits of killing him would be that i’d be pushed way less . ❜

❛ but it pays off, because i dont even have time to think about dying . ❜

#tbt.

bodyawake:

‘ GOT A ROOM ACROSS THE STREET. ’ fifty paces, give or take, but moving hoover dam to connecticut would be less complicated right now. too much liquor, not enough sleep. he’d keep drinking if she’d let him — the terrors aren’t so bad when he blacks out.

one last sip. corrosive like battery acid. he looks as good as he feels, and he feels like death. ‘ … 'sides, you don’t want me throwin’ up in your bathroom all night. ’

‘ i’ve cleaned up worse things, ‘ she laughs. it’s dry, much like the air in the bar. the lights are on and he’s the last one there. again. she feels bad, knowing what he was going though. granted it was nothing she knew by experience ---- the town did things to travelers. all it did to her was kept her numb and sedated with whatever liquor or drug she could find to keep herself sane.

‘ suit yourself. i’ll be open at eleven tomorrow morning. bloody mary’s on me. you’re gonna need it. ‘

#bodyawake #⸰ ° ARC. THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL IS HEAVY BUT YOU WERE MEANT FOR THIS / MAIN VERSE.#aja is that mom friend ofm gj

bodyafraid:

HE BECOMES STIFF, uncomfortable in his own skin. a sip of liquor is enough to melt the tension from his shoulders and ease the prickle of paranoia threading in the column of his spine, and he scolds himself for ever doubting her. for ever entertaining the notion of a betrayal. she would never do that to you. this is what he tells himself before leveling her gaze. she is far more kind than him; a better person, he likes to think.

his words are bitter, and his tone is laced with a foulness that only the alcohol can attribute to. ❛ what has he done to deserve courtesy ? he isn’t looking for her. he wouldn’t be here if he was –– he’s here because he’s running from something. she was just the catalyst. ❜ sometimes, lying by omission is better than telling the truth.

he doesn’t want to pour salt in old wounds, but the way her memory scratches inside his skull often makes him reconsider. he combs a hand through his hair, then lets it fall to rest his forearm on the bar.

❛ telling him is more trouble than it’s worth. ❜

she doesn’t verbalize the annoyance she has, it really wouldn’t help matters anyway, but she does let out a sharp breath as she looks down at her own glass in front of her. it was one of the few days she has off. she gave herself one, just to regroup before starting another week. she takes a drink, the liquor burning her throat as it goes down. it didn’t help anything to argue. or prove a point. they might carry a lot of weight on their shoulders, but she wanted to remind them that they weren’t heartless.

‘ if i was in that position i’d want to know. the tables were turned, i was in his place --- i’d want to know. even if that truth hurt. besides -- this town might be the reason why we do what we do, why we feel what we feel, but that doesn’t make us heartless. ‘

#⸰ ° ARC. THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL IS HEAVY BUT YOU WERE MEANT FOR THIS / MAIN VERSE.#bodyafraid

alina-starksov

Lindsey Morgan as Ariana Vita in ‘Casa Vita’

#⸰ ° THERE’S A MENACE IN MY HEAD CAN YOU SEE THE SILHOUETTE / VANITY.

rhaellar

#i'm Shook #⸰ ° I WISH I COULD BE A LITTLE MORE CONFIDENT IN MYSELF. IN MY SKIN / BODYCLAIM.

bodyafraid:

WOULD HE ? he has seen many faces, none too friendly and none too kind. he has watched them deteriorate and crumble, leave pieces of themselves behind: a jacket or a pair of jeans, their favourite t - shirt. he is bad with names, but it should go without saying that it is likely he wouldn’t remember even if he wanted to.

he knows the one. joaquín guerrero, room thirteen, who mentioned her briefly but never by name. he was shown a picture of the girlfriend in question three days prior. couldn’t help but notice the colour in her cheeks, how her blonde hair fanned around her. and it’s her he’s thinking of now: it’s her aja is asking about, isn’t it ? ❛ the town has her. he won’t find her. there’s nothing i can do. ❜

she observes his body language first. most of the time, she could read him like a book. that was before. this was now, and it wasn’t as easy as it used to be. there wasn’t anything wrong with that; she gets what happened. understands why he’s kept himself closed off. loss did that. this town did that. she can’t help but fold her arms over her chest though, a sigh leaving her lips.

‘ so you’re not gonna tell him? you know i was there that night. doesn’t he deserve to at least know that he’s not gonna find her here? that she’s dead? ‘

she doesn’t like that she feels for this other guy. sometimes they have a deeper hold on her than the others. that, and she knows from experience that finding out later ---- and finding out the real reason was hidden by a lie ---- was always worse.

#bodyafraid #⸰ ° ARC. THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL IS HEAVY BUT YOU WERE MEANT FOR THIS / MAIN VERSE.

@bodyawake ♡ ‘d.

‘ look -- ‘ she doesn’t really want to kick him out. she feels bad. he’s been rambling on and on about his girlfriend and about how things were so weird in this town that she actually felt sorry for him. granted, she did. she always felt sorry for the ones that lost something before they came here. it only got worse.

‘ i can’t serve you anything else, but if you need a place to crash, i have a couch upstairs. you don’t look so good. ‘

#⸰ ° ARC. THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL IS HEAVY BUT YOU WERE MEANT FOR THIS / MAIN VERSE.#bodyawake #aja voice: u had five drinks ur liver is shot pls don't drink and drive :((((

@bodyafraid ♡ ‘d.

‘ just so you know ---- some kid came in earlier talkin’ about his girlfriend or fiance --- apparently she passed through not too long ago. you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? ‘

she’s generally curious, that, and she can’t put her finger on it. she vaguely remembers a girl coming through here ( too many people came through this town and she’s grown numb to it by now, usually. ) and jonah practically lived at the bar some days ----- she really should start charging him rent or something and make a few bucks.

#⸰ ° ARC. THE WEIGHT OF IT ALL IS HEAVY BUT YOU WERE MEANT FOR THIS / MAIN VERSE.#bodyafraid #YIKE OOPS