Here to assist

Just here to translate for keysmash-offical, my twin

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Greetings, denizens of Tumblr! I am keysmash-translator, and I'm here for one purpose only. To translate for my twin sibling, @keysmash-offical, when required.

Do feel free to tag me whenever a translation is required.

We are both adopted children of @/no-one-offical, and both of us will remain loyal to the void until the very end.

I should warn you some of my translations may not be entirely accurate, mostly because Keysmash is much more violent then I am and I try to censor some of the swearing.

A little bit about Keys and I for your convenience:

Me;

- Name: Kaity Null Offical

- Pronouns: She/they

- Gender: Agender

- Sexuality: Panromantic and asexual

- Age: Nineteen

Post with reference: https://www.tumblr.com/keysmash-translator-offical/817036391255015424/i-suppose-i-should-add-this-to-my-blog-as-a-vague?source=share

Keysmash;

- Name: Keys Void Offical

- Pronouns: They/it

- Gender: Agender

- Sexuality: Aromantic and asexual

- Age: Nineteen

[no-one-offical]

Oh right I have a husband

[evilpineapple-offical]

yes you do

[no-one-offical]

{wakes up on the spot, on the couch. You're insane to think i've spoken. Indeed. I had only just woken up. Insane person}

[evilpineapple-offical]

.. I don’t even know how to react anymore.

[no-one-offical]

Neither do I.

I'm sorry.

{He's missing... an eye.}

[evilpineapple-offical]

You need to stop apologising.

.. I did miss you though

*he walks over, sitting beside you*

We’re matching now

[no-one-offical]

{a tear comes down his right side... yet there's no eye... and he hugs you}

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he hugs you back, tight*

I love you..

[no-one-offical]

{smiles—but quickly turns his head to the side and coughs badly}

[evilpineapple-offical]

shit- are you okay?

[no-one-offical]

I should be-

{coughs some more}

I- Fine-

[evilpineapple-offical]

You’re clearly not. Do you need water or anything?

[no-one-offical]

Water you mean? Can't you sea I'm alright?

{starts laughing at his own puns, then coughs worse than before}

[evilpineapple-offical]

No One. Please. I want to help you

[no-one-offical]

How then... How? I would let you, but how could you help me love? The stars have fallen and the sky has broken.. I'm sorry..

[evilpineapple-offical]

I.. don’t know. But please, if there is ever any way I can help, tell me. I promise I will always be here for you.

[no-one-offical]

You could bake some cookies...

[evilpineapple-offical]

.. unfortunately that is one thing I can’t do. I don’t know how ovens work

[keysmash-offical]

PPPPppppp O svyisaau fp lmpe jpe yp nslr!

Lsoyu lomf pg gothryd yp rsy dp O jsbr yp gptvr grrf yjrz sy yozrd-

[evilpineapple-offical]

Why are you everywhere?

[keysmash-offical]

Nrvsidr eju mpy?

Sadp, rbrm og O'z mpt sd bpvsa snpiy oy sd Lsoyu, O dyoaa vstr snpiy Mp-Pmr. Jr'd pmr pg yjr gotdy sfiayd yp svyisaau ytrsy zr sd zptr yjsm s aobomh ersqpm, got pmr.

Rbrm og upi vsmmpy imfrtdysmf zr, O vstr snpiy zu gszoau, npyj notyj smf gpimf.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I think I need to stop asking you questions

[keysmash-offical]

Qarsdr fpm'y, O hry apmrau ejrm Lsoyu's nromh erotf.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t know why you keep talking. I can’t understand you. I’m pretty sure that O is I but that’s all I understand

[keysmash-offical]

!!!! 👍👍👍👍 !!!!

O lrrq ysalomh om jpqr yjsy dpzrnpfu imfrtdysmfd.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Just because I understand one letter doesn’t mean I understand the rest, unfortunately. I still have no idea what you’re saying

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Hello, sorry I am late, I have been... dealing with some things.

I apologise for Keys, I understand they can be a bit full-on at times. Their original point was that they know how to bake if required. And their other point was that they find you entertaining to talk to when I am not present, even if you cannot fully understand them.

[no-one-offical]

Oh right I have a husband

[evilpineapple-offical]

yes you do

[no-one-offical]

{wakes up on the spot, on the couch. You're insane to think i've spoken. Indeed. I had only just woken up. Insane person}

[evilpineapple-offical]

.. I don’t even know how to react anymore.

[no-one-offical]

Neither do I.

I'm sorry.

{He's missing... an eye.}

[evilpineapple-offical]

You need to stop apologising.

.. I did miss you though

*he walks over, sitting beside you*

We’re matching now

[no-one-offical]

{a tear comes down his right side... yet there's no eye... and he hugs you}

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he hugs you back, tight*

I love you..

[no-one-offical]

{smiles—but quickly turns his head to the side and coughs badly}

[evilpineapple-offical]

shit- are you okay?

[no-one-offical]

I should be-

{coughs some more}

I- Fine-

[evilpineapple-offical]

You’re clearly not. Do you need water or anything?

[no-one-offical]

Water you mean? Can't you sea I'm alright?

{starts laughing at his own puns, then coughs worse than before}

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Father.

You have five seconds to explain exactly what the fuck happened in there, and allow those who care about you to help you for once in your damn life.

And also, drink the damn water already. If not for your sake then for our sake.

[keysmash-translator-offical]

I think I should let Kaity lose it more. As a treat.

The poor thing's got anxiety she deserves to bite someone.

[evilpineapple-offical]

{Some kind of burnt door drops from the sky}

Well that’s very normal.

*he walks over to it, and tries to open it*

[no-one-offical]

{No One barely comes out... there's a room on the other side... yet when you go around the door there's nothing}

I'm sorry-

{He falls into Mango. scarred on his face. Missing an eye}

I'm sorry.

{fucking falls unconscious I guess}

[evilpineapple-offical]

What-

*he catches you*

fuck- uh- it’s gonna be alright! I promise!

*he picks you up and teleports home with you*

[no-one-offical]

{remains unconscious. sunglasses barely holding together before shattering through teleportation. the door stands and... locks itself}

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he puts you down on the couch, sitting down next to you. He plays with his hands nervously*

[no-one-offical]

{fails to keep his body together and fucking dies on the spot. only his right eye remains}

[evilpineapple-offical]

what- WHAT THE FUCK? Pleasesayhecantdiepleasesayhecantdiepleasesayhecantdiepleasesa-

[no-one-offical]

{quickly reforms his body to take out some kind of a tracking device and crush it}

He shouldn't be able to find you my dearest-

I- I'm sorry-

{fucking dies}

[keysmash-translator-offical]

FATHER?????

WHAT IN THE SEVEN REALMS FUCKING HAPPENED WHILE I WAS AWAY

[no-one-offical]

....Father? Are you out here?

- @keysmash-translator-offical

(ooc contextttttt https://www.tumblr.com/keysmash-translator-offical/819746132100055040/her-head-sticks-back-through-the-portal?source=share )

My child-

No- No- no you can't be here-

Cut the warping! Cut the door- They will kill you- She-

{He pushes his child back through the portal and shuts it, permanently}

[keysmash-translator-offical]

NonononononowaitwaitwAIT-

*she stumbles as she's shoved back through, and whirls around, eyes widening as the portal starts to close*

nO- FUCK

*she lunges for the disappearing remnants of the portal, but falls just short, and collapses, cursing angrily*

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he was silent for almost a minute*

Fuck

[keysmash-translator-offical]

I swear to every fucking god out there I'm going to genuinely crash out-

*she seems to finally catch herself, and runs a hand through her hair, shoving her bangs back with a frustrated growl, before taking a deep breath and smoothing her bangs back out, pushing herself up off the ground.* Well, that did not go as intended. What is our backup plan? I mean- We're not going to just leave him in there alone, right?

[timekeeper-offical]

Wait, let me try! He might listen to me...

@no-one-offical, come to us!

im hoping that message got across the portal...

(ooc- jumping in here considering I was in the thread where we went through the portal)

[no-one-offical]

{Unfortunately the portal's shut permanently. So you may never know whether he heard it or not}

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

There has to be some way of getting back there. A rule is only proved by its exception, after all. And contrary to many people's beliefs, neither Keys nor I are easy to kill.

*She takes another deep breath, straightening her bowtie*

Okay, does anyone here know any alternate way of accessing the void? Apologies for my language, but I am not about to fucking leave No-One to... whatever's going on in there right now. I don't think anyone else here is going to either.

[keysmash-offical]

O zrsm...... jr pmau vapdrf yjsy qptysa. Og smuyjomh, yjsy arsbrd s qtryyu varst appqjpar. Og er can dpzrjpe pqrm s mre dqsvosa togy, yjpdr str ardd rsu yp djiy yjsm s qptysa.

Pg vpitdr, oy'd sado aolr s zoaaopm yozrd zptr fsmhrtpid, niy sd Lsoyu dsof, er'br ditbobrf dpzr qtryyu imdsmr djoy. Smf sadp er jsbr ziayoqar hpfd pm pit dofr, dppppp....

@timekeeper-offical ?

[timekeeper-offical]

Yeah @keysmash-translator-offical whats Keys saying?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Wait, that's....

They're suggesting a spacial rift. I mean, of course technically it could work, they're not quite the same thing as a portal, but..... it is incredibly risky. Rifts are incredibly more unstable than a portal, after all.

And also have the chance of ending us up in the completely wrong place.

I don't know..... I wish to assist No-One, but.......

And then there is also the fact it is ridiculously hard to tear open a hole in the space time continuum.

[timekeeper-offical]

Well, i am the god of space-time... I could attempt it... I dont know. id have to ask Evil Pineapple.

@evilpineapple-offical is this an ok course of action?

[evilpineapple-offical]

Well.. uh.. maybe? I’m not really an expert on rifts so..

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Don't look at me, I'm not exactly an expert in interdimensional matters myself.

Pretty much anything I do know on the topic has come from observing the deities of the officalverse and extensive study.

It's up to you two on whether we go forward with this plan or if we find a different route.

@timekeeper-offical

[no-one-offical]

....Father? Are you out here?

- @keysmash-translator-offical

(ooc contextttttt https://www.tumblr.com/keysmash-translator-offical/819746132100055040/her-head-sticks-back-through-the-portal?source=share )

My child-

No- No- no you can't be here-

Cut the warping! Cut the door- They will kill you- She-

{He pushes his child back through the portal and shuts it, permanently}

[keysmash-translator-offical]

NonononononowaitwaitwAIT-

*she stumbles as she's shoved back through, and whirls around, eyes widening as the portal starts to close*

nO- FUCK

*she lunges for the disappearing remnants of the portal, but falls just short, and collapses, cursing angrily*

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he was silent for almost a minute*

Fuck

[keysmash-translator-offical]

I swear to every fucking god out there I'm going to genuinely crash out-

*she seems to finally catch herself, and runs a hand through her hair, shoving her bangs back with a frustrated growl, before taking a deep breath and smoothing her bangs back out, pushing herself up off the ground.* Well, that did not go as intended. What is our backup plan? I mean- We're not going to just leave him in there alone, right?

[evilpineapple-offical]

as much as I hate it, we don’t exactly have much choice. He’s.. he’s smart. He’s strong. He’ll be alright

[keysmash-offical]

*raises hand*

O svyisaau jsbr sm ofrs got pmvr pm jpe er vsm hry nsvl om og mrvrddstu

[evilpineapple-offical]

uhhh… Kaity?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

(ooc the reply is in the other thread in the reblogs, Timekeeper also asked for a translation there)

[no-one-offical]

....Father? Are you out here?

- @keysmash-translator-offical

(ooc contextttttt https://www.tumblr.com/keysmash-translator-offical/819746132100055040/her-head-sticks-back-through-the-portal?source=share )

My child-

No- No- no you can't be here-

Cut the warping! Cut the door- They will kill you- She-

{He pushes his child back through the portal and shuts it, permanently}

[keysmash-translator-offical]

NonononononowaitwaitwAIT-

*she stumbles as she's shoved back through, and whirls around, eyes widening as the portal starts to close*

nO- FUCK

*she lunges for the disappearing remnants of the portal, but falls just short, and collapses, cursing angrily*

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he was silent for almost a minute*

Fuck

[keysmash-translator-offical]

I swear to every fucking god out there I'm going to genuinely crash out-

*she seems to finally catch herself, and runs a hand through her hair, shoving her bangs back with a frustrated growl, before taking a deep breath and smoothing her bangs back out, pushing herself up off the ground.* Well, that did not go as intended. What is our backup plan? I mean- We're not going to just leave him in there alone, right?

[timekeeper-offical]

Wait, let me try! He might listen to me...

@no-one-offical, come to us!

im hoping that message got across the portal...

(ooc- jumping in here considering I was in the thread where we went through the portal)

[no-one-offical]

{Unfortunately the portal's shut permanently. So you may never know whether he heard it or not}

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

There has to be some way of getting back there. A rule is only proved by its exception, after all. And contrary to many people's beliefs, neither Keys nor I are easy to kill.

*She takes another deep breath, straightening her bowtie*

Okay, does anyone here know any alternate way of accessing the void? Apologies for my language, but I am not about to fucking leave No-One to... whatever's going on in there right now. I don't think anyone else here is going to either.

[keysmash-offical]

O zrsm...... jr pmau vapdrf yjsy qptysa. Og smuyjomh, yjsy arsbrd s qtryyu varst appqjpar. Og er can dpzrjpe pqrm s mre dqsvosa togy, yjpdr str ardd rsu yp djiy yjsm s qptysa.

Pg vpitdr, oy'd sado aolr s zoaaopm yozrd zptr fsmhrtpid, niy sd Lsoyu dsof, er'br ditbobrf dpzr qtryyu imdsmr djoy. Smf sadp er jsbr ziayoqar hpfd pm pit dofr, dppppp....

@timekeeper-offical ?

[timekeeper-offical]

Yeah @keysmash-translator-offical whats Keys saying?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Wait, that's....

They're suggesting a spacial rift. I mean, of course technically it could work, they're not quite the same thing as a portal, but..... it is incredibly risky. Rifts are incredibly more unstable than a portal, after all.

And also have the chance of ending us up in the completely wrong place.

I don't know..... I wish to assist No-One, but.......

And then there is also the fact it is ridiculously hard to tear open a hole in the space time continuum.

[no-one-offical]

....Father? Are you out here?

- @keysmash-translator-offical

(ooc contextttttt https://www.tumblr.com/keysmash-translator-offical/819746132100055040/her-head-sticks-back-through-the-portal?source=share )

My child-

No- No- no you can't be here-

Cut the warping! Cut the door- They will kill you- She-

{He pushes his child back through the portal and shuts it, permanently}

[keysmash-translator-offical]

NonononononowaitwaitwAIT-

*she stumbles as she's shoved back through, and whirls around, eyes widening as the portal starts to close*

nO- FUCK

*she lunges for the disappearing remnants of the portal, but falls just short, and collapses, cursing angrily*

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he was silent for almost a minute*

Fuck

[keysmash-translator-offical]

I swear to every fucking god out there I'm going to genuinely crash out-

*she seems to finally catch herself, and runs a hand through her hair, shoving her bangs back with a frustrated growl, before taking a deep breath and smoothing her bangs back out, pushing herself up off the ground.* Well, that did not go as intended. What is our backup plan? I mean- We're not going to just leave him in there alone, right?

[timekeeper-offical]

Wait, let me try! He might listen to me...

@no-one-offical, come to us!

im hoping that message got across the portal...

(ooc- jumping in here considering I was in the thread where we went through the portal)

[no-one-offical]

{Unfortunately the portal's shut permanently. So you may never know whether he heard it or not}

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

There has to be some way of getting back there. A rule is only proved by its exception, after all. And contrary to many people's beliefs, neither Keys nor I are easy to kill.

*She takes another deep breath, straightening her bowtie*

Okay, does anyone here know any alternate way of accessing the void? Apologies for my language, but I am not about to fucking leave No-One to... whatever's going on in there right now. I don't think anyone else here is going to either.

[no-one-offical]

....Father? Are you out here?

- @keysmash-translator-offical

(ooc contextttttt https://www.tumblr.com/keysmash-translator-offical/819746132100055040/her-head-sticks-back-through-the-portal?source=share )

My child-

No- No- no you can't be here-

Cut the warping! Cut the door- They will kill you- She-

{He pushes his child back through the portal and shuts it, permanently}

[keysmash-translator-offical]

NonononononowaitwaitwAIT-

*she stumbles as she's shoved back through, and whirls around, eyes widening as the portal starts to close*

nO- FUCK

*she lunges for the disappearing remnants of the portal, but falls just short, and collapses, cursing angrily*

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he was silent for almost a minute*

Fuck

[keysmash-translator-offical]

I swear to every fucking god out there I'm going to genuinely crash out-

*she seems to finally catch herself, and runs a hand through her hair, shoving her bangs back with a frustrated growl, before taking a deep breath and smoothing her bangs back out, pushing herself up off the ground.* Well, that did not go as intended. What is our backup plan? I mean- We're not going to just leave him in there alone, right?

[no-one-offical]

....Father? Are you out here?

- @keysmash-translator-offical

(ooc contextttttt https://www.tumblr.com/keysmash-translator-offical/819746132100055040/her-head-sticks-back-through-the-portal?source=share )

My child-

No- No- no you can't be here-

Cut the warping! Cut the door- They will kill you- She-

{He pushes his child back through the portal and shuts it, permanently}

[keysmash-translator-offical]

NonononononowaitwaitwAIT-

*she stumbles as she's shoved back through, and whirls around, eyes widening as the portal starts to close*

nO- FUCK

*she lunges for the disappearing remnants of the portal, but falls just short, and collapses, cursing angrily*

@evilpineapple-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

"You're not the perfect angel you act like, are you?"

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Alright, everyone.

Now that the party is assembled, we must figure out how exactly to enter the void to save the stubborn, stubborn entity that is No-One.

@evilpineapple-offical , @timekeeper-offical , do either of you have any idea how to do this?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m not- *cough* one hundred percent sure if it’ll work, but I can try to get a portal. It would be helpful if anyone had rough coordinates though, otherwise I’ll just have to- *cough* guess where it is, and that might not go well.

OOC:

Btw he got his body back but it was way too early so now he’s not in the best state, so that’s why he’s coughing

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Good to know, thank you.

And also, please sit down for the sake of my sanity and your own health. You should not be exerting yourself this soon after regaining form, it's unhealthy.

I'll see what I can do to get you some form of mobility aid if you would like.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m fine. It’ll wear off soon enough.

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Normally I would protest this, but I fear as of right now we do not quite have the time for what Keys calls my "excessive worrywarting". I will do the best I can to find some coordinates for you.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Thank you.

[keysmash-offical]

Smf ejoar yjru'tr pgg fpomh yjsy, I sz mpe hpomh yp rcqaosm om rcvtivosyomh frysoa jpe rcsvyau O'z hpomh yp dysn ejprbrt jsd jity Gsyjrt!

[evilpineapple-offical]

uhhh… Kaity, could you translate that?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

(ooc yes that's correct. It's meant to be a play on K-T lol)

*it appears that while Keys was talking, she has gone off to search for any clues to No-One's current whereabouts. Keys is now very animatedly chattering while miming stabbing motions.*

*They do not seem to care that they currently look unhinged. In fact it appears they are plotting violence.*

[evilpineapple-offical]

dammit… so… how are you? Wait. I somehow managed to forget I can’t understand you. Uh… do you own any weapons? Feel free to just nod or shake your head. Or I can guess your answer depending on how many letters it has.

[keysmash-offical]

*They nod, pulling a pair of knives with vines and gears engraved around the base of the blade out that were hidden in their sleeves. And then a few kunai out of its vest pockets. They seem to consider for a moment, before pulling a small vial on a string out from under their scarf and dropping it proudly on top of the small pile of knives.*

*that's probably snake venom if we're being honest.*

[evilpineapple-offical]

woahhh sick. Those all look expensive

[keysmash-offical]

Upi'f nr ditqtodrf ejsy upi vsm gomf hpomh yjrpihj ytsdj vsmd jpmrdyay.

Yjr dmslr brmpz O hpy zudrag yjrpihj.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I uh… got all of that

[keysmash-offical]

O sadp idef yp jsbr s jpzrzsfr gaszryjtprt niy Lsoyu hpy zr yp dypq idomh oy nrvsidr saarhrfau oy'd sm "Active health and safety risk"

*the last part was a startlingly accurate imitation of Kaity.*

(ooc, Keys is an excellent mimic and can on occasion recite exact quotes rather than their usual dialect. It's not exactly a 100% reliable way of communicating because it has to be something that was said directly to them, but it can at least help slightly.)

[evilpineapple-offical]

I have a few guesses for what you said and I don’t like them

[keysmash-translator-offical]

First of all, Keys, that "flamethrower" was a lighter taped to a can of air freshener, and yes, that does count as an active health and safety risk.

And second, I got the coordinates.

*She hands Pineapple a sheet of paper with a set of coordinates scrawled across it in neat print. There's also a small splatter on the corner that looks suspiciously like blood. Probably best to not question that.*

Please, don't ask what I had to go through to get that. It's a long story.

[evilpineapple-offical]

okay…? Well. Thank you. Is Chronis here yet?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

@timekeeper-offical ?

[timekeeper-offical]

Hi, i am in fact here!

*Astrachronis melts from the shadows* I learnt that trick from No-one! my No-one that is, from my universe.

( @evilpineapple-offical I take it you would be next if we were to do a tagging order?)

[evilpineapple-offical]

Your wha-? Nevermind.

*he opens the portal, but he seems to put more effort in the expected*

that should take us to the right place.

OOC:

Mb I didn’t see this

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Thank you!

*she steps up, motioning for her twin to follow her through before disappearing through the portal. Keys rolls their eyes, but follows anyway, tucking their weaponry back away as they do so.*

ooc I have no idea how to do tagging orders so anybody go next

[evilpineapple-offical]

OOC:

@timekeeper-offical would probably go next

[timekeeper-offical]

Pineapple, dont worry, its complicated... also, are you sure you're ok? that seemed to take a lot of effort... oh, and after you

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m alright. Just recently got my body back, still getting used to it..! Heh… uhm. You should go first. It’s easier to keep it open from this side

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

*Her head sticks back through the portal momentarily*

Are you guys coming? You should.... probably see this.

@timekeeper-offical

[timekeeper-offical]

*Astrachronis steps through*

So... what am I looking at?

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he steps through after you, the portal closing immediately*

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Is this...... Normal for the void? I am not exactly well versed in alternate dimensions but I presume this *gestures at whatever the hell they're looking at* is not what is considered normal @timekeeper-offical

[timekeeper-offical]

*Astrachronis looks very confused* well. I guess it is for me like my version of void looks like that so I guess so yeah.

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

.. I have no idea what’s going on right now

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Ooc tbh I have no idea either at this point I'm making shit up as I go and I'm kind of scared to tag No-One

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Alright, everyone.

Now that the party is assembled, we must figure out how exactly to enter the void to save the stubborn, stubborn entity that is No-One.

@evilpineapple-offical , @timekeeper-offical , do either of you have any idea how to do this?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m not- *cough* one hundred percent sure if it’ll work, but I can try to get a portal. It would be helpful if anyone had rough coordinates though, otherwise I’ll just have to- *cough* guess where it is, and that might not go well.

OOC:

Btw he got his body back but it was way too early so now he’s not in the best state, so that’s why he’s coughing

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Good to know, thank you.

And also, please sit down for the sake of my sanity and your own health. You should not be exerting yourself this soon after regaining form, it's unhealthy.

I'll see what I can do to get you some form of mobility aid if you would like.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m fine. It’ll wear off soon enough.

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Normally I would protest this, but I fear as of right now we do not quite have the time for what Keys calls my "excessive worrywarting". I will do the best I can to find some coordinates for you.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Thank you.

[keysmash-offical]

Smf ejoar yjru'tr pgg fpomh yjsy, I sz mpe hpomh yp rcqaosm om rcvtivosyomh frysoa jpe rcsvyau O'z hpomh yp dysn ejprbrt jsd jity Gsyjrt!

[evilpineapple-offical]

uhhh… Kaity, could you translate that?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

(ooc yes that's correct. It's meant to be a play on K-T lol)

*it appears that while Keys was talking, she has gone off to search for any clues to No-One's current whereabouts. Keys is now very animatedly chattering while miming stabbing motions.*

*They do not seem to care that they currently look unhinged. In fact it appears they are plotting violence.*

[evilpineapple-offical]

dammit… so… how are you? Wait. I somehow managed to forget I can’t understand you. Uh… do you own any weapons? Feel free to just nod or shake your head. Or I can guess your answer depending on how many letters it has.

[keysmash-offical]

*They nod, pulling a pair of knives with vines and gears engraved around the base of the blade out that were hidden in their sleeves. And then a few kunai out of its vest pockets. They seem to consider for a moment, before pulling a small vial on a string out from under their scarf and dropping it proudly on top of the small pile of knives.*

*that's probably snake venom if we're being honest.*

[evilpineapple-offical]

woahhh sick. Those all look expensive

[keysmash-offical]

Upi'f nr ditqtodrf ejsy upi vsm gomf hpomh yjrpihj ytsdj vsmd jpmrdyay.

Yjr dmslr brmpz O hpy zudrag yjrpihj.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I uh… got all of that

[keysmash-offical]

O sadp idef yp jsbr s jpzrzsfr gaszryjtprt niy Lsoyu hpy zr yp dypq idomh oy nrvsidr saarhrfau oy'd sm "Active health and safety risk"

*the last part was a startlingly accurate imitation of Kaity.*

(ooc, Keys is an excellent mimic and can on occasion recite exact quotes rather than their usual dialect. It's not exactly a 100% reliable way of communicating because it has to be something that was said directly to them, but it can at least help slightly.)

[evilpineapple-offical]

I have a few guesses for what you said and I don’t like them

[keysmash-translator-offical]

First of all, Keys, that "flamethrower" was a lighter taped to a can of air freshener, and yes, that does count as an active health and safety risk.

And second, I got the coordinates.

*She hands Pineapple a sheet of paper with a set of coordinates scrawled across it in neat print. There's also a small splatter on the corner that looks suspiciously like blood. Probably best to not question that.*

Please, don't ask what I had to go through to get that. It's a long story.

[evilpineapple-offical]

okay…? Well. Thank you. Is Chronis here yet?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

@timekeeper-offical ?

[timekeeper-offical]

Hi, i am in fact here!

*Astrachronis melts from the shadows* I learnt that trick from No-one! my No-one that is, from my universe.

( @evilpineapple-offical I take it you would be next if we were to do a tagging order?)

[evilpineapple-offical]

Your wha-? Nevermind.

*he opens the portal, but he seems to put more effort in the expected*

that should take us to the right place.

OOC:

Mb I didn’t see this

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Thank you!

*she steps up, motioning for her twin to follow her through before disappearing through the portal. Keys rolls their eyes, but follows anyway, tucking their weaponry back away as they do so.*

ooc I have no idea how to do tagging orders so anybody go next

[evilpineapple-offical]

OOC:

@timekeeper-offical would probably go next

[timekeeper-offical]

Pineapple, dont worry, its complicated... also, are you sure you're ok? that seemed to take a lot of effort... oh, and after you

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m alright. Just recently got my body back, still getting used to it..! Heh… uhm. You should go first. It’s easier to keep it open from this side

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

*Her head sticks back through the portal momentarily*

Are you guys coming? You should.... probably see this.

@timekeeper-offical

[timekeeper-offical]

*Astrachronis steps through*

So... what am I looking at?

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he steps through after you, the portal closing immediately*

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Is this...... Normal for the void? I am not exactly well versed in alternate dimensions but I presume this *gestures at whatever the hell they're looking at* is not what is considered normal @timekeeper-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Alright, everyone.

Now that the party is assembled, we must figure out how exactly to enter the void to save the stubborn, stubborn entity that is No-One.

@evilpineapple-offical , @timekeeper-offical , do either of you have any idea how to do this?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m not- *cough* one hundred percent sure if it’ll work, but I can try to get a portal. It would be helpful if anyone had rough coordinates though, otherwise I’ll just have to- *cough* guess where it is, and that might not go well.

OOC:

Btw he got his body back but it was way too early so now he’s not in the best state, so that’s why he’s coughing

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Good to know, thank you.

And also, please sit down for the sake of my sanity and your own health. You should not be exerting yourself this soon after regaining form, it's unhealthy.

I'll see what I can do to get you some form of mobility aid if you would like.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m fine. It’ll wear off soon enough.

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Normally I would protest this, but I fear as of right now we do not quite have the time for what Keys calls my "excessive worrywarting". I will do the best I can to find some coordinates for you.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Thank you.

[keysmash-offical]

Smf ejoar yjru'tr pgg fpomh yjsy, I sz mpe hpomh yp rcqaosm om rcvtivosyomh frysoa jpe rcsvyau O'z hpomh yp dysn ejprbrt jsd jity Gsyjrt!

[evilpineapple-offical]

uhhh… Kaity, could you translate that?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

(ooc yes that's correct. It's meant to be a play on K-T lol)

*it appears that while Keys was talking, she has gone off to search for any clues to No-One's current whereabouts. Keys is now very animatedly chattering while miming stabbing motions.*

*They do not seem to care that they currently look unhinged. In fact it appears they are plotting violence.*

[evilpineapple-offical]

dammit… so… how are you? Wait. I somehow managed to forget I can’t understand you. Uh… do you own any weapons? Feel free to just nod or shake your head. Or I can guess your answer depending on how many letters it has.

[keysmash-offical]

*They nod, pulling a pair of knives with vines and gears engraved around the base of the blade out that were hidden in their sleeves. And then a few kunai out of its vest pockets. They seem to consider for a moment, before pulling a small vial on a string out from under their scarf and dropping it proudly on top of the small pile of knives.*

*that's probably snake venom if we're being honest.*

[evilpineapple-offical]

woahhh sick. Those all look expensive

[keysmash-offical]

Upi'f nr ditqtodrf ejsy upi vsm gomf hpomh yjrpihj ytsdj vsmd jpmrdyay.

Yjr dmslr brmpz O hpy zudrag yjrpihj.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I uh… got all of that

[keysmash-offical]

O sadp idef yp jsbr s jpzrzsfr gaszryjtprt niy Lsoyu hpy zr yp dypq idomh oy nrvsidr saarhrfau oy'd sm "Active health and safety risk"

*the last part was a startlingly accurate imitation of Kaity.*

(ooc, Keys is an excellent mimic and can on occasion recite exact quotes rather than their usual dialect. It's not exactly a 100% reliable way of communicating because it has to be something that was said directly to them, but it can at least help slightly.)

[evilpineapple-offical]

I have a few guesses for what you said and I don’t like them

[keysmash-translator-offical]

First of all, Keys, that "flamethrower" was a lighter taped to a can of air freshener, and yes, that does count as an active health and safety risk.

And second, I got the coordinates.

*She hands Pineapple a sheet of paper with a set of coordinates scrawled across it in neat print. There's also a small splatter on the corner that looks suspiciously like blood. Probably best to not question that.*

Please, don't ask what I had to go through to get that. It's a long story.

[evilpineapple-offical]

okay…? Well. Thank you. Is Chronis here yet?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

@timekeeper-offical ?

[timekeeper-offical]

Hi, i am in fact here!

*Astrachronis melts from the shadows* I learnt that trick from No-one! my No-one that is, from my universe.

( @evilpineapple-offical I take it you would be next if we were to do a tagging order?)

[evilpineapple-offical]

Your wha-? Nevermind.

*he opens the portal, but he seems to put more effort in the expected*

that should take us to the right place.

OOC:

Mb I didn’t see this

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Thank you!

*she steps up, motioning for her twin to follow her through before disappearing through the portal. Keys rolls their eyes, but follows anyway, tucking their weaponry back away as they do so.*

ooc I have no idea how to do tagging orders so anybody go next

[evilpineapple-offical]

OOC:

@timekeeper-offical would probably go next

[timekeeper-offical]

Pineapple, dont worry, its complicated... also, are you sure you're ok? that seemed to take a lot of effort... oh, and after you

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m alright. Just recently got my body back, still getting used to it..! Heh… uhm. You should go first. It’s easier to keep it open from this side

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

*Her head sticks back through the portal momentarily*

Are you guys coming? You should.... probably see this.

[evilpineapple-offical]

OOC:

don’t forget to tag @timekeeper-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Ooc oop yeah I never know who to move the conversation onto next so I just kinda of leave it open as a habit 😅

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Alright, everyone.

Now that the party is assembled, we must figure out how exactly to enter the void to save the stubborn, stubborn entity that is No-One.

@evilpineapple-offical , @timekeeper-offical , do either of you have any idea how to do this?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m not- *cough* one hundred percent sure if it’ll work, but I can try to get a portal. It would be helpful if anyone had rough coordinates though, otherwise I’ll just have to- *cough* guess where it is, and that might not go well.

OOC:

Btw he got his body back but it was way too early so now he’s not in the best state, so that’s why he’s coughing

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Good to know, thank you.

And also, please sit down for the sake of my sanity and your own health. You should not be exerting yourself this soon after regaining form, it's unhealthy.

I'll see what I can do to get you some form of mobility aid if you would like.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m fine. It’ll wear off soon enough.

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Normally I would protest this, but I fear as of right now we do not quite have the time for what Keys calls my "excessive worrywarting". I will do the best I can to find some coordinates for you.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Thank you.

[keysmash-offical]

Smf ejoar yjru'tr pgg fpomh yjsy, I sz mpe hpomh yp rcqaosm om rcvtivosyomh frysoa jpe rcsvyau O'z hpomh yp dysn ejprbrt jsd jity Gsyjrt!

[evilpineapple-offical]

uhhh… Kaity, could you translate that?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

(ooc yes that's correct. It's meant to be a play on K-T lol)

*it appears that while Keys was talking, she has gone off to search for any clues to No-One's current whereabouts. Keys is now very animatedly chattering while miming stabbing motions.*

*They do not seem to care that they currently look unhinged. In fact it appears they are plotting violence.*

[evilpineapple-offical]

dammit… so… how are you? Wait. I somehow managed to forget I can’t understand you. Uh… do you own any weapons? Feel free to just nod or shake your head. Or I can guess your answer depending on how many letters it has.

[keysmash-offical]

*They nod, pulling a pair of knives with vines and gears engraved around the base of the blade out that were hidden in their sleeves. And then a few kunai out of its vest pockets. They seem to consider for a moment, before pulling a small vial on a string out from under their scarf and dropping it proudly on top of the small pile of knives.*

*that's probably snake venom if we're being honest.*

[evilpineapple-offical]

woahhh sick. Those all look expensive

[keysmash-offical]

Upi'f nr ditqtodrf ejsy upi vsm gomf hpomh yjrpihj ytsdj vsmd jpmrdyay.

Yjr dmslr brmpz O hpy zudrag yjrpihj.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I uh… got all of that

[keysmash-offical]

O sadp idef yp jsbr s jpzrzsfr gaszryjtprt niy Lsoyu hpy zr yp dypq idomh oy nrvsidr saarhrfau oy'd sm "Active health and safety risk"

*the last part was a startlingly accurate imitation of Kaity.*

(ooc, Keys is an excellent mimic and can on occasion recite exact quotes rather than their usual dialect. It's not exactly a 100% reliable way of communicating because it has to be something that was said directly to them, but it can at least help slightly.)

[evilpineapple-offical]

I have a few guesses for what you said and I don’t like them

[keysmash-translator-offical]

First of all, Keys, that "flamethrower" was a lighter taped to a can of air freshener, and yes, that does count as an active health and safety risk.

And second, I got the coordinates.

*She hands Pineapple a sheet of paper with a set of coordinates scrawled across it in neat print. There's also a small splatter on the corner that looks suspiciously like blood. Probably best to not question that.*

Please, don't ask what I had to go through to get that. It's a long story.

[evilpineapple-offical]

okay…? Well. Thank you. Is Chronis here yet?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

@timekeeper-offical ?

[timekeeper-offical]

Hi, i am in fact here!

*Astrachronis melts from the shadows* I learnt that trick from No-one! my No-one that is, from my universe.

( @evilpineapple-offical I take it you would be next if we were to do a tagging order?)

[evilpineapple-offical]

Your wha-? Nevermind.

*he opens the portal, but he seems to put more effort in the expected*

that should take us to the right place.

OOC:

Mb I didn’t see this

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Thank you!

*she steps up, motioning for her twin to follow her through before disappearing through the portal. Keys rolls their eyes, but follows anyway, tucking their weaponry back away as they do so.*

ooc I have no idea how to do tagging orders so anybody go next

[evilpineapple-offical]

OOC:

@timekeeper-offical would probably go next

[timekeeper-offical]

Pineapple, dont worry, its complicated... also, are you sure you're ok? that seemed to take a lot of effort... oh, and after you

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m alright. Just recently got my body back, still getting used to it..! Heh… uhm. You should go first. It’s easier to keep it open from this side

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

*Her head sticks back through the portal momentarily*

Are you guys coming? You should.... probably see this.

@timekeeper-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Alright, everyone.

Now that the party is assembled, we must figure out how exactly to enter the void to save the stubborn, stubborn entity that is No-One.

@evilpineapple-offical , @timekeeper-offical , do either of you have any idea how to do this?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m not- *cough* one hundred percent sure if it’ll work, but I can try to get a portal. It would be helpful if anyone had rough coordinates though, otherwise I’ll just have to- *cough* guess where it is, and that might not go well.

OOC:

Btw he got his body back but it was way too early so now he’s not in the best state, so that’s why he’s coughing

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Good to know, thank you.

And also, please sit down for the sake of my sanity and your own health. You should not be exerting yourself this soon after regaining form, it's unhealthy.

I'll see what I can do to get you some form of mobility aid if you would like.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’m fine. It’ll wear off soon enough.

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Normally I would protest this, but I fear as of right now we do not quite have the time for what Keys calls my "excessive worrywarting". I will do the best I can to find some coordinates for you.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Thank you.

[keysmash-offical]

Smf ejoar yjru'tr pgg fpomh yjsy, I sz mpe hpomh yp rcqaosm om rcvtivosyomh frysoa jpe rcsvyau O'z hpomh yp dysn ejprbrt jsd jity Gsyjrt!

[evilpineapple-offical]

uhhh… Kaity, could you translate that?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

(ooc yes that's correct. It's meant to be a play on K-T lol)

*it appears that while Keys was talking, she has gone off to search for any clues to No-One's current whereabouts. Keys is now very animatedly chattering while miming stabbing motions.*

*They do not seem to care that they currently look unhinged. In fact it appears they are plotting violence.*

[evilpineapple-offical]

dammit… so… how are you? Wait. I somehow managed to forget I can’t understand you. Uh… do you own any weapons? Feel free to just nod or shake your head. Or I can guess your answer depending on how many letters it has.

[keysmash-offical]

*They nod, pulling a pair of knives with vines and gears engraved around the base of the blade out that were hidden in their sleeves. And then a few kunai out of its vest pockets. They seem to consider for a moment, before pulling a small vial on a string out from under their scarf and dropping it proudly on top of the small pile of knives.*

*that's probably snake venom if we're being honest.*

[evilpineapple-offical]

woahhh sick. Those all look expensive

[keysmash-offical]

Upi'f nr ditqtodrf ejsy upi vsm gomf hpomh yjrpihj ytsdj vsmd jpmrdyay.

Yjr dmslr brmpz O hpy zudrag yjrpihj.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I uh… got all of that

[keysmash-offical]

O sadp idef yp jsbr s jpzrzsfr gaszryjtprt niy Lsoyu hpy zr yp dypq idomh oy nrvsidr saarhrfau oy'd sm "Active health and safety risk"

*the last part was a startlingly accurate imitation of Kaity.*

(ooc, Keys is an excellent mimic and can on occasion recite exact quotes rather than their usual dialect. It's not exactly a 100% reliable way of communicating because it has to be something that was said directly to them, but it can at least help slightly.)

[evilpineapple-offical]

I have a few guesses for what you said and I don’t like them

[keysmash-translator-offical]

First of all, Keys, that "flamethrower" was a lighter taped to a can of air freshener, and yes, that does count as an active health and safety risk.

And second, I got the coordinates.

*She hands Pineapple a sheet of paper with a set of coordinates scrawled across it in neat print. There's also a small splatter on the corner that looks suspiciously like blood. Probably best to not question that.*

Please, don't ask what I had to go through to get that. It's a long story.

[evilpineapple-offical]

okay…? Well. Thank you. Is Chronis here yet?

[keysmash-translator-offical]

@timekeeper-offical ?

[timekeeper-offical]

Hi, i am in fact here!

*Astrachronis melts from the shadows* I learnt that trick from No-one! my No-one that is, from my universe.

( @evilpineapple-offical I take it you would be next if we were to do a tagging order?)

[evilpineapple-offical]

Your wha-? Nevermind.

*he opens the portal, but he seems to put more effort in the expected*

that should take us to the right place.

OOC:

Mb I didn’t see this

@keysmash-translator-offical

[keysmash-translator-offical]

Thank you!

*she steps up, motioning for her twin to follow her through before disappearing through the portal. Keys rolls their eyes, but follows anyway, tucking their weaponry back away as they do so.*

ooc I have no idea how to do tagging orders so anybody go next