DIVINE ARCHON OF TIME, TIMEKEEPER IMMORTALUS

WELL, THE IMMORTAL GOD OF TIME HAS A TUMBLR ACCOUNT. INTERESTING. WELL, I'VE GOT TO KEEP ENTERTAINED SOMEHOW, NOW THAT THE ENTIRE CIVILISATION THAT BELIEVED IN US DIED OUT, AND THE GREEKS OVERTOOK OUR POPULARITY OOC- welcome! this is an offical account based off of a book im writing, don't ask about it because its getting published and I'm not risking anything. more to come, most likely Atherion or Demiseus

[timekeeper-offical]

HELLO PEOPLE. I AM AWARE THAT THE PREVIOUS TIMEKEEPER ACCOUNT GOT TERMINATED (ooc- something im still pissed about) SO I SHOULD MAKE A NEW INTRODUCTIO- *coughs* introduction. That's better, thank Atherion I'm not speaking in only caps now. That was a pain, that's for sure. So.

Hello! I am Divine Archon Chronis, and I have now got a Tumblr account! I mainly interact with @supervillain-offical and @backstory-character-offical. Well, those are the people I have interacted with in this account, I'm sure I will interact with more people.

That's all I have to say, folks! Stay tuned

Ooc- Hello! This character is based off of a character I am writing in my book

[infcdele-a-deactivated20220411]

Hey, Hey, L I S T E N

here, on this blog, you do not need permission to slip into my asks. just do it. even if we haven’t interacted before. even if you’ve sent 10 already. send me more. i love getting asks (in character or out of character) and yeah, i’m slow as fuck, but i promise you i will get to them. have at it, fill my inbox with memes or impromptu starters or just tell me how your day is going. it really doesn’t matter. just go ahead and do it. i promise, i don’t get annoyed seeing the same people in my inbox, actually it makes me happy because yAY MORE INTERACTIONS. so just do it.

[timekeeper-offical]

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warrenty.

...I don't own a car. WHO ARE YOU??

[evilpineapple-offical]

If you don’t have a car, what’s that?

*points at a conveniently placed car with your name engraved on it*

[timekeeper-offical]

ummm... I dont know, probably William fucking with me

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t like William

[timekeeper-offical]

Neither do I! ive been trying to get him out of No-one but he either freezes up or tries to disintegrate away from me

[evilpineapple-offical]

Earlier I had to stop him from opening a really ominous door

[timekeeper-offical]

A fucking what now. where is this door

[evilpineapple-offical]

It was in the nexus between life and death or something I dunno. I wasn’t paying attention

[timekeeper-offical]

Ah. I see... um yeah maybe keep that well protected

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah.. No One vaguely hinted at the door so that’s why I stopped him. I’ve got the key so I think we’re good

[timekeeper-offical]

yeah. Say, can your guns and grenades undo possession?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’ve thrown a grenade at him once already. It didn’t work

[timekeeper-offical]

hmmmm. OK.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah… well… hopefully it'll be alright in the end

[no-one-offical]

{swiftly strikes from behind attempting to steal the key Mango assumingly took from the door}

[evilpineapple-offical]

ACK- FUCK-

*he jumps out of the way*

NO! DO NOT!

*he sounds more angry than actually afraid*

[timekeeper-offical]

*Astrachronis punches No-one through imagination, hoping that technique still works*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

OW WHAT THE FUCK MAN!

{Pulls from the Shadows itself and surrounds himself with a kind of spiky gloomy plating}

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

Can you leave us alone please? You didn’t even try asking nicely for it

*he is shuffling away slightly as he says this*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Bad idea... actually what is your name? people either call you Pineapple or Mango, but i don't actually know what it is. ANYWAY. WILLIAM. I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE NO-ONE ALONE

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

THE BLUE MOON IS UPON US.

{turning to mango}

Can I please have the key? Or perhaps you won't see your husband again.

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

It’s Evil Pineapple by the- damn I wasn’t expecting you to actually ask nicely. I- no. You can’t.

*he doesn’t seem to want to say no. Probably because he’s a simp. Anyway-*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Noted. And Pineapple, DON'T GIVE HIM THE KEY.

Choose your next move wisely, William.

*Astrachronis pulls out an imaginary sword*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

{Extends his arm very slowly towards them...

and extends it...

and extends it...

and makes a u-turn to itch his nose...

and extends it again...

and extends it...

and extends it...

and attempts to grab the key...

AND FROM THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF MANGO, A THIRD FUCKING ARM REACHES FOR THE KEY}

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he jumps out of the way*

No~ope

*he pulls out a gun, aiming it at you*

I know this does nothing, but at least it got you to leave me alone last time*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Pineapple, you've got it wrong! pretend to have a gun, trust me!

*Astrachronis pretends to have a chainsaw, aiming it at William/No-one*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

{Gives Astrachronis a look as if to suggest "what is wrong with you weirdo?" Before turning to Mango}

Go ahead and shoot it. See what happens.

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he glances between you two*

.. worth a try

*he puts the gun away and shoots finger guns*

( @timekeeper-offical )

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

(oops! thought i reblogged, guess the train station didnt let me lol)

NICE ONE PINEAPPLE! *Astrachronis turns on the imaginary chainsaw and rises above William*

BUT YOU WANT SOMETHING MORE PERMANENT LIKE THIS!

*Astrachronis drives the imaginary chainsaw into the part where he imagines William inhabits No-ones mind. it probably isn't there, and probably doesn't work, but he tried anyway, just in case it did*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

You know what.

I've had enough of these games.

{Snaps his fingers and it's as if time glitched forward by a couple minutes... or hours... or days...

William holds the key and stands in front of the door. And opens it. Revealing. nothing. no one. nowhere.

William vanishes.

Only the body of No One remains between the open door and the two.}

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

w-what? No. Nonononono. I- FUCK!!

*he seemed to be having the beginning of a panic attack, before he replaced it with anger. There’s still panic, he just has bad coping strategies*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

FUCK!

*Astrachronis attempts to close the door, and imaginarily slaps William, still holding on to one hope*

( @no-one-offical

[no-one-offical]

{There he lays. Neither exactly dead nor alive either. Not even a hint of ruby in his eyes. And yet he breathes}

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he stares at the door for a few seconds, before finally looking down at No One*

No One..?

*he walks over*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

fuck what do I do what do I do?!?!?! ummm... ah, yes!

DIAGNOSTICUS

*this is the most advanced diagnostic spell he can do, trying to figure out what the fuck happened here*

( @no-one-offical )

[deceasedtitan-offical]

Hey Kronos :D

@crime-lord-offical

Yeeeeees?

[crime-god-offical]

Here!

*gives him a ribbon* this is for you :3

[kronos-offical]

*takes that ribbon, eats it, the runs away*

[crime-god-offical]

HEY >:(

*takes out another ribbon*

[kronos-offical]

*eats that one too and runs away again*

[crime-god-offical]

SERIOUSLY

*takes another one out*

[timekeeper-offical]

*I take that one and put it in my hair*

thank you!! :3

[timekeeper-offical]

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warrenty.

...I don't own a car. WHO ARE YOU??

[evilpineapple-offical]

If you don’t have a car, what’s that?

*points at a conveniently placed car with your name engraved on it*

[timekeeper-offical]

ummm... I dont know, probably William fucking with me

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t like William

[timekeeper-offical]

Neither do I! ive been trying to get him out of No-one but he either freezes up or tries to disintegrate away from me

[evilpineapple-offical]

Earlier I had to stop him from opening a really ominous door

[timekeeper-offical]

A fucking what now. where is this door

[evilpineapple-offical]

It was in the nexus between life and death or something I dunno. I wasn’t paying attention

[timekeeper-offical]

Ah. I see... um yeah maybe keep that well protected

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah.. No One vaguely hinted at the door so that’s why I stopped him. I’ve got the key so I think we’re good

[timekeeper-offical]

yeah. Say, can your guns and grenades undo possession?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’ve thrown a grenade at him once already. It didn’t work

[timekeeper-offical]

hmmmm. OK.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah… well… hopefully it'll be alright in the end

[no-one-offical]

{swiftly strikes from behind attempting to steal the key Mango assumingly took from the door}

[evilpineapple-offical]

ACK- FUCK-

*he jumps out of the way*

NO! DO NOT!

*he sounds more angry than actually afraid*

[timekeeper-offical]

*Astrachronis punches No-one through imagination, hoping that technique still works*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

OW WHAT THE FUCK MAN!

{Pulls from the Shadows itself and surrounds himself with a kind of spiky gloomy plating}

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

Can you leave us alone please? You didn’t even try asking nicely for it

*he is shuffling away slightly as he says this*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Bad idea... actually what is your name? people either call you Pineapple or Mango, but i don't actually know what it is. ANYWAY. WILLIAM. I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE NO-ONE ALONE

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

THE BLUE MOON IS UPON US.

{turning to mango}

Can I please have the key? Or perhaps you won't see your husband again.

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

It’s Evil Pineapple by the- damn I wasn’t expecting you to actually ask nicely. I- no. You can’t.

*he doesn’t seem to want to say no. Probably because he’s a simp. Anyway-*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Noted. And Pineapple, DON'T GIVE HIM THE KEY.

Choose your next move wisely, William.

*Astrachronis pulls out an imaginary sword*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

{Extends his arm very slowly towards them...

and extends it...

and extends it...

and makes a u-turn to itch his nose...

and extends it again...

and extends it...

and extends it...

and attempts to grab the key...

AND FROM THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF MANGO, A THIRD FUCKING ARM REACHES FOR THE KEY}

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he jumps out of the way*

No~ope

*he pulls out a gun, aiming it at you*

I know this does nothing, but at least it got you to leave me alone last time*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Pineapple, you've got it wrong! pretend to have a gun, trust me!

*Astrachronis pretends to have a chainsaw, aiming it at William/No-one*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

{Gives Astrachronis a look as if to suggest "what is wrong with you weirdo?" Before turning to Mango}

Go ahead and shoot it. See what happens.

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he glances between you two*

.. worth a try

*he puts the gun away and shoots finger guns*

( @timekeeper-offical )

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

(oops! thought i reblogged, guess the train station didnt let me lol)

NICE ONE PINEAPPLE! *Astrachronis turns on the imaginary chainsaw and rises above William*

BUT YOU WANT SOMETHING MORE PERMANENT LIKE THIS!

*Astrachronis drives the imaginary chainsaw into the part where he imagines William inhabits No-ones mind. it probably isn't there, and probably doesn't work, but he tried anyway, just in case it did*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

You know what.

I've had enough of these games.

{Snaps his fingers and it's as if time glitched forward by a couple minutes... or hours... or days...

William holds the key and stands in front of the door. And opens it. Revealing. nothing. no one. nowhere.

William vanishes.

Only the body of No One remains between the open door and the two.}

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

w-what? No. Nonononono. I- FUCK!!

*he seemed to be having the beginning of a panic attack, before he replaced it with anger. There’s still panic, he just has bad coping strategies*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

FUCK!

*Astrachronis attempts to close the door, and imaginarily slaps William, still holding on to one hope*

( @no-one-offical

[timekeeper-offical]

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warrenty.

...I don't own a car. WHO ARE YOU??

[evilpineapple-offical]

If you don’t have a car, what’s that?

*points at a conveniently placed car with your name engraved on it*

[timekeeper-offical]

ummm... I dont know, probably William fucking with me

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t like William

[timekeeper-offical]

Neither do I! ive been trying to get him out of No-one but he either freezes up or tries to disintegrate away from me

[evilpineapple-offical]

Earlier I had to stop him from opening a really ominous door

[timekeeper-offical]

A fucking what now. where is this door

[evilpineapple-offical]

It was in the nexus between life and death or something I dunno. I wasn’t paying attention

[timekeeper-offical]

Ah. I see... um yeah maybe keep that well protected

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah.. No One vaguely hinted at the door so that’s why I stopped him. I’ve got the key so I think we’re good

[timekeeper-offical]

yeah. Say, can your guns and grenades undo possession?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’ve thrown a grenade at him once already. It didn’t work

[timekeeper-offical]

hmmmm. OK.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah… well… hopefully it'll be alright in the end

[no-one-offical]

{swiftly strikes from behind attempting to steal the key Mango assumingly took from the door}

[evilpineapple-offical]

ACK- FUCK-

*he jumps out of the way*

NO! DO NOT!

*he sounds more angry than actually afraid*

[timekeeper-offical]

*Astrachronis punches No-one through imagination, hoping that technique still works*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

OW WHAT THE FUCK MAN!

{Pulls from the Shadows itself and surrounds himself with a kind of spiky gloomy plating}

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

Can you leave us alone please? You didn’t even try asking nicely for it

*he is shuffling away slightly as he says this*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Bad idea... actually what is your name? people either call you Pineapple or Mango, but i don't actually know what it is. ANYWAY. WILLIAM. I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE NO-ONE ALONE

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

THE BLUE MOON IS UPON US.

{turning to mango}

Can I please have the key? Or perhaps you won't see your husband again.

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

It’s Evil Pineapple by the- damn I wasn’t expecting you to actually ask nicely. I- no. You can’t.

*he doesn’t seem to want to say no. Probably because he’s a simp. Anyway-*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Noted. And Pineapple, DON'T GIVE HIM THE KEY.

Choose your next move wisely, William.

*Astrachronis pulls out an imaginary sword*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

{Extends his arm very slowly towards them...

and extends it...

and extends it...

and makes a u-turn to itch his nose...

and extends it again...

and extends it...

and extends it...

and attempts to grab the key...

AND FROM THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF MANGO, A THIRD FUCKING ARM REACHES FOR THE KEY}

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he jumps out of the way*

No~ope

*he pulls out a gun, aiming it at you*

I know this does nothing, but at least it got you to leave me alone last time*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Pineapple, you've got it wrong! pretend to have a gun, trust me!

*Astrachronis pretends to have a chainsaw, aiming it at William/No-one*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

{Gives Astrachronis a look as if to suggest "what is wrong with you weirdo?" Before turning to Mango}

Go ahead and shoot it. See what happens.

@evilpineapple-offical

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he glances between you two*

.. worth a try

*he puts the gun away and shoots finger guns*

( @timekeeper-offical )

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

(oops! thought i reblogged, guess the train station didnt let me lol)

NICE ONE PINEAPPLE! *Astrachronis turns on the imaginary chainsaw and rises above William*

BUT YOU WANT SOMETHING MORE PERMANENT LIKE THIS!

*Astrachronis drives the imaginary chainsaw into the part where he imagines William inhabits No-ones mind. it probably isn't there, and probably doesn't work, but he tried anyway, just in case it did*

( @no-one-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

ooc-

WELCOME ONE AND WELCOME ALL TO A VERY SHITTY SELF PROMO POST!

Have you ever wanted to read a book about Fallen, Forgotten, and Corrupted Gods? Then my (future and yet-to-be published) book, "Emsvara: The Shattered Halo", is for you!

I have a self promo WhatsApp channel to celebrate me finishing my first draft! If you would like to look at this channel, the link is below:

https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Vb7bxCQHltYBnmKPCd0S

tags for reach-

@backstory-character-offical @mind-gayer-official @satan-offical(you probably won't care, but its worth a shot at least) @evilpineapple-offical @evil-no-one-offical @buff-no-one @eredin-offical @rockin-robin-offical @burning-britain-official @imightbeafaerie-official-offical

@avhira @cranberry-branflakes

[timekeeper-offical]

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warrenty.

...I don't own a car. WHO ARE YOU??

[evilpineapple-offical]

If you don’t have a car, what’s that?

*points at a conveniently placed car with your name engraved on it*

[timekeeper-offical]

ummm... I dont know, probably William fucking with me

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t like William

[timekeeper-offical]

Neither do I! ive been trying to get him out of No-one but he either freezes up or tries to disintegrate away from me

[evilpineapple-offical]

Earlier I had to stop him from opening a really ominous door

[timekeeper-offical]

A fucking what now. where is this door

[evilpineapple-offical]

It was in the nexus between life and death or something I dunno. I wasn’t paying attention

[timekeeper-offical]

Ah. I see... um yeah maybe keep that well protected

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah.. No One vaguely hinted at the door so that’s why I stopped him. I’ve got the key so I think we’re good

[timekeeper-offical]

yeah. Say, can your guns and grenades undo possession?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’ve thrown a grenade at him once already. It didn’t work

[timekeeper-offical]

hmmmm. OK.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah… well… hopefully it'll be alright in the end

[no-one-offical]

{swiftly strikes from behind attempting to steal the key Mango assumingly took from the door}

[evilpineapple-offical]

ACK- FUCK-

*he jumps out of the way*

NO! DO NOT!

*he sounds more angry than actually afraid*

[timekeeper-offical]

*Astrachronis punches No-one through imagination, hoping that technique still works*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

OW WHAT THE FUCK MAN!

{Pulls from the Shadows itself and surrounds himself with a kind of spiky gloomy plating}

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

Can you leave us alone please? You didn’t even try asking nicely for it

*he is shuffling away slightly as he says this*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Bad idea... actually what is your name? people either call you Pineapple or Mango, but i don't actually know what it is. ANYWAY. WILLIAM. I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE NO-ONE ALONE

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

THE BLUE MOON IS UPON US.

{turning to mango}

Can I please have the key? Or perhaps you won't see your husband again.

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

It’s Evil Pineapple by the- damn I wasn’t expecting you to actually ask nicely. I- no. You can’t.

*he doesn’t seem to want to say no. Probably because he’s a simp. Anyway-*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Noted. And Pineapple, DON'T GIVE HIM THE KEY.

Choose your next move wisely, William.

*Astrachronis pulls out an imaginary sword*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

{Extends his arm very slowly towards them...

and extends it...

and extends it...

and makes a u-turn to itch his nose...

and extends it again...

and extends it...

and extends it...

and attempts to grab the key...

AND FROM THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF MANGO, A THIRD FUCKING ARM REACHES FOR THE KEY}

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

*he jumps out of the way*

No~ope

*he pulls out a gun, aiming it at you*

I know this does nothing, but at least it got you to leave me alone last time*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Pineapple, you've got it wrong! pretend to have a gun, trust me!

*Astrachronis pretends to have a chainsaw, aiming it at William/No-one*

( @no-one-offical )

[ham-sandwich-consumer-offical]

I would fuckin ROCK a maid dress

[ham-sandwich-consumer-offical]

10000 notes and I post a pic of me wearing a maid dress

[gus-offical]

@tagging-officals-offical

[ham-sandwich-consumer-offical]

I swear to god if I wake up tomorrow to 10000 comments

[ham-sandwich-consumer-offical]

Y'all have no chance unless Satan gets involved so y'all might as well give up hahaha

[sans-the-skeleconch-offical]

@the-color-orange-offical @skyan-official @mrevilvillanplotman-offical

@poseidon-offical @postie-offical

[mrevilvillanplotman-official]

Team and Childs!!!!

@kingsl3y7530 

@cosmic-entity-official 

@toaster-waffle-offical

@laciffo-3oa-ton-yletinifed

@themicroweman

@the-immortal-joa

@msgoodheroimprovwoman-offical

@real-love-offical

@milehicon-offical

@evil-the-one-and-only-piper

@evil-burning-brittain-official

@experiment-offical

@evil-no-one-offical

@sans-the-skeleconch-offical

@duckofmisfortuneoffical

@kinght-of-scarred-pride

@copyright-offical

My team

not (yet) childs

@7-eleven-offical … why doesn’t the tag work

@7-eleven-offical-evil

@quiktrip-offical

@evil-pukicho-real-offical

@evil-lemon-shark-offical <- yes you still do have to watch them

@definitely-ao3-offical-offical <- my child

@knife-roomba-offical 

@evil-man-offical

@jojamart-offical

@plague-doctor--offical

@bill-cipher-offical

@lemon-shark-offical

@evil-callie-plush-offical

@evil-ant-offical

@roaring-knight-offical

@toaster-waffle-offical <-child

@19521chaos

@fall3n-angel-offical <- you’re next

@copyright-offical <- child

@cari-the-kirby

@pretty-evil-pukicho-offical

@trans-cousin-offical

@themicroweman <-child

@milehicon-offical <- child

@killer-offical

@inferno-the-skywing

@sans-the-skeleconch-offical <- child

@sans-undertale-official

[evil-no-one-offical]

Go family tree @definitely-ao3-offical @evilpineapple-offical @timekeeper-offical @evil-pukicho-real-offical @mrevilvillanplotman-offical @knife-roomba-offical @xaomi11 @laciffo-3oa-ton-yletinifed @pretty-evil-pukicho-offical @buff-no-one @no-one-offical

[timekeeper-offical]

@satan-offical @backstory-character-offical

@cranberry-branflakes @crime-god-offical

GO GO GO MY FRIENDS

[dechtir]

[transmechanicus]

[no-one-offical]

@timekeeper-offical

[timekeeper-offical]

WILLIAM! We ARENT DONE

(Ooc- yeah it’s your turn on the rp thread btw)

[timekeeper-offical]

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warrenty.

...I don't own a car. WHO ARE YOU??

[evilpineapple-offical]

If you don’t have a car, what’s that?

*points at a conveniently placed car with your name engraved on it*

[timekeeper-offical]

ummm... I dont know, probably William fucking with me

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t like William

[timekeeper-offical]

Neither do I! ive been trying to get him out of No-one but he either freezes up or tries to disintegrate away from me

[evilpineapple-offical]

Earlier I had to stop him from opening a really ominous door

[timekeeper-offical]

A fucking what now. where is this door

[evilpineapple-offical]

It was in the nexus between life and death or something I dunno. I wasn’t paying attention

[timekeeper-offical]

Ah. I see... um yeah maybe keep that well protected

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah.. No One vaguely hinted at the door so that’s why I stopped him. I’ve got the key so I think we’re good

[timekeeper-offical]

yeah. Say, can your guns and grenades undo possession?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’ve thrown a grenade at him once already. It didn’t work

[timekeeper-offical]

hmmmm. OK.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah… well… hopefully it'll be alright in the end

[no-one-offical]

{swiftly strikes from behind attempting to steal the key Mango assumingly took from the door}

[evilpineapple-offical]

ACK- FUCK-

*he jumps out of the way*

NO! DO NOT!

*he sounds more angry than actually afraid*

[timekeeper-offical]

*Astrachronis punches No-one through imagination, hoping that technique still works*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

OW WHAT THE FUCK MAN!

{Pulls from the Shadows itself and surrounds himself with a kind of spiky gloomy plating}

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

Can you leave us alone please? You didn’t even try asking nicely for it

*he is shuffling away slightly as he says this*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Bad idea... actually what is your name? people either call you Pineapple or Mango, but i don't actually know what it is. ANYWAY. WILLIAM. I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE NO-ONE ALONE

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

THE BLUE MOON IS UPON US.

{turning to mango}

Can I please have the key? Or perhaps you won't see your husband again.

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

It’s Evil Pineapple by the- damn I wasn’t expecting you to actually ask nicely. I- no. You can’t.

*he doesn’t seem to want to say no. Probably because he’s a simp. Anyway-*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Noted. And Pineapple, DON'T GIVE HIM THE KEY.

Choose your next move wisely, William.

*Astrachronis pulls out an imaginary sword*

( @no-one-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warrenty.

...I don't own a car. WHO ARE YOU??

[evilpineapple-offical]

If you don’t have a car, what’s that?

*points at a conveniently placed car with your name engraved on it*

[timekeeper-offical]

ummm... I dont know, probably William fucking with me

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t like William

[timekeeper-offical]

Neither do I! ive been trying to get him out of No-one but he either freezes up or tries to disintegrate away from me

[evilpineapple-offical]

Earlier I had to stop him from opening a really ominous door

[timekeeper-offical]

A fucking what now. where is this door

[evilpineapple-offical]

It was in the nexus between life and death or something I dunno. I wasn’t paying attention

[timekeeper-offical]

Ah. I see... um yeah maybe keep that well protected

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah.. No One vaguely hinted at the door so that’s why I stopped him. I’ve got the key so I think we’re good

[timekeeper-offical]

yeah. Say, can your guns and grenades undo possession?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’ve thrown a grenade at him once already. It didn’t work

[timekeeper-offical]

hmmmm. OK.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah… well… hopefully it'll be alright in the end

[no-one-offical]

{swiftly strikes from behind attempting to steal the key Mango assumingly took from the door}

[evilpineapple-offical]

ACK- FUCK-

*he jumps out of the way*

NO! DO NOT!

*he sounds more angry than actually afraid*

[timekeeper-offical]

*Astrachronis punches No-one through imagination, hoping that technique still works*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

OW WHAT THE FUCK MAN!

{Pulls from the Shadows itself and surrounds himself with a kind of spiky gloomy plating}

( @evilpineapple-offical )

[evilpineapple-offical]

Can you leave us alone please? You didn’t even try asking nicely for it

*he is shuffling away slightly as he says this*

( @timekeeper-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

Bad idea... actually what is your name? people either call you Pineapple or Mango, but i don't actually know what it is. ANYWAY. WILLIAM. I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE NO-ONE ALONE

( @no-one-offical )

[timekeeper-offical]

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warrenty.

...I don't own a car. WHO ARE YOU??

[evilpineapple-offical]

If you don’t have a car, what’s that?

*points at a conveniently placed car with your name engraved on it*

[timekeeper-offical]

ummm... I dont know, probably William fucking with me

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t like William

[timekeeper-offical]

Neither do I! ive been trying to get him out of No-one but he either freezes up or tries to disintegrate away from me

[evilpineapple-offical]

Earlier I had to stop him from opening a really ominous door

[timekeeper-offical]

A fucking what now. where is this door

[evilpineapple-offical]

It was in the nexus between life and death or something I dunno. I wasn’t paying attention

[timekeeper-offical]

Ah. I see... um yeah maybe keep that well protected

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah.. No One vaguely hinted at the door so that’s why I stopped him. I’ve got the key so I think we’re good

[timekeeper-offical]

yeah. Say, can your guns and grenades undo possession?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’ve thrown a grenade at him once already. It didn’t work

[timekeeper-offical]

hmmmm. OK.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah… well… hopefully it'll be alright in the end

[no-one-offical]

{swiftly strikes from behind attempting to steal the key Mango assumingly took from the door}

[evilpineapple-offical]

ACK- FUCK-

*he jumps out of the way*

NO! DO NOT!

*he sounds more angry than actually afraid*

[timekeeper-offical]

*Astrachronis punches No-one through imagination, hoping that technique still works*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

William! we are not done here. I must free No-one!

@timekeeper-offical

How the fuck did you find me- What the fuck even are you?

[timekeeper-offical]

I'm the God of Space-Time. I already know you so I can view your timeline. doesnt work all the time. I can't actually see what you're about to do right now

*Astrachronis, of course, is sometimes a bit stupid, and probably should not have said that*

( @no-one-offical )

[no-one-offical]

What?

{attempts to disintegrate away}

[deceasedtitan-offical]

Well. Apart from that. CEASE. *Astrachronis stops William from disintegrating*

YOU ARE GOING TO EXIT NO-ONE NOW. I WILL STOP AT NOTHING

[no-one-offical]

{Dips his hand into the shadows and pulls @nothing-offical out}

[timekeeper-offical]

huh?! what??

[timekeeper-offical]

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warrenty.

...I don't own a car. WHO ARE YOU??

[evilpineapple-offical]

If you don’t have a car, what’s that?

*points at a conveniently placed car with your name engraved on it*

[timekeeper-offical]

ummm... I dont know, probably William fucking with me

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t like William

[timekeeper-offical]

Neither do I! ive been trying to get him out of No-one but he either freezes up or tries to disintegrate away from me

[evilpineapple-offical]

Earlier I had to stop him from opening a really ominous door

[timekeeper-offical]

A fucking what now. where is this door

[evilpineapple-offical]

It was in the nexus between life and death or something I dunno. I wasn’t paying attention

[timekeeper-offical]

Ah. I see... um yeah maybe keep that well protected

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah.. No One vaguely hinted at the door so that’s why I stopped him. I’ve got the key so I think we’re good

[timekeeper-offical]

yeah. Say, can your guns and grenades undo possession?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I’ve thrown a grenade at him once already. It didn’t work

[timekeeper-offical]

hmmmm. OK.

[timekeeper-offical]

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warrenty.

...I don't own a car. WHO ARE YOU??

[evilpineapple-offical]

If you don’t have a car, what’s that?

*points at a conveniently placed car with your name engraved on it*

[timekeeper-offical]

ummm... I dont know, probably William fucking with me

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t like William

[timekeeper-offical]

Neither do I! ive been trying to get him out of No-one but he either freezes up or tries to disintegrate away from me

[evilpineapple-offical]

Earlier I had to stop him from opening a really ominous door

[timekeeper-offical]

A fucking what now. where is this door

[evilpineapple-offical]

It was in the nexus between life and death or something I dunno. I wasn’t paying attention

[timekeeper-offical]

Ah. I see... um yeah maybe keep that well protected

[evilpineapple-offical]

Yeah.. No One vaguely hinted at the door so that’s why I stopped him. I’ve got the key so I think we’re good

[timekeeper-offical]

yeah. Say, can your guns and grenades undo possession?

[timekeeper-offical]

We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warrenty.

...I don't own a car. WHO ARE YOU??

[evilpineapple-offical]

If you don’t have a car, what’s that?

*points at a conveniently placed car with your name engraved on it*

[timekeeper-offical]

ummm... I dont know, probably William fucking with me

[evilpineapple-offical]

I don’t like William

[timekeeper-offical]

Neither do I! ive been trying to get him out of No-one but he either freezes up or tries to disintegrate away from me

[evilpineapple-offical]

Earlier I had to stop him from opening a really ominous door

[timekeeper-offical]

A fucking what now. where is this door

[evilpineapple-offical]

It was in the nexus between life and death or something I dunno. I wasn’t paying attention

[timekeeper-offical]

Ah. I see... um yeah maybe keep that well protected