Untitled @keysmashshipper - Tumblr Blog

kaijutegu

place your bets now! Are they selling an aquarium, a puppy, or both?

kaijutegu

shockingly it’s actually BOTH!

What’s more, there’s another ad selling a fish tank and a puppy!

What are the odds that two different people would have such similar ads on the exact same day? Go figure!

the-real-eye-to-see

“Who Fears Death” is novel with science fiction and fantasy elements by American writer Nnedi Okorafor.

I’m very upset that they decided not to mention her name… She is an incredibly talented person and they made an unacceptable mistake….

She is the treasure of modern literature, but they presented her as if they were ashamed that a black woman could write something worthwhile.

jinaa-bandiya

This..so shortly after it comes out that two more hugely successful Sci fi franchises were quite brazenly highjacked from another black female author, who had to fight for many years in court to regain her rights of honor and ownership.

babyanimalgifs

This praying mantis standing its ground

(via)

question

gay-hopeless-romantic-deactivat

The U.S. in a gif series.

pdawgz

Pls keep reblogging this till this become a classic tumblr post , because it needs to be

tedllasso

#WEARAMASK

glumshoe

GOD some fucking... gigantic FedEx-looking muscled meatheads just marched up to the door of the nature center, where I am working alone, talking about how if anyone tried to make them wear a mask inside they could suck their dicks and how no one could stop them if they wanted to go in.

I jumped up and blocked the doorway, putting on my most friendly-but-authoritative voice and holding the spare masks in front of me like a weapon, and said “IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO COME INSIDE YOU MUST WEAR A MASK BUT YOU ARE FREE TO ENJOY OUR OUTDOOR OFFERINGS WITHOUT ONE.”

And they fucking turned around and left without a word of protest. One of them thanked me awkwardly. I’m slightly jittery from the rush of unused adrenaline but I can’t believe that despite all their posturing and aggression, they were defeated by customer service voice.

hawaiian-monk-selkie

It’s the combination of cheerful voice and dead eyes that usually scares off the big burly types 😂

glumshoe

My eyes were anything but dead... I think I had Barbie-like animation. They’re probably just not used to being aggressively-but-politely told “no” and didn’t realize I’d overheard their macho posturing.

notbomb

Can confirm full-on Barbie Customer Service Face and Voice can murder a god if you have enough Hidden Spite and Hatred behind it.

I have scared grown men with my sugary-sweetest voice and smile--usually by threatening them with very graphic violence but even "I'm sorry, but that's against company policy and I'm afraid I can't do that," can sound like "I will crack open your ribcage like a walnut and feast on your still-beating heart, motherfucker" if you feel it in your soul. It's the Charlize Theron murder-walk tutorial but for customer service.

glumshoe

It’s less retail customer service than it is like... Flight Attendant? It’s not Teacher Voice because it carries an implicit threat of murder. Flight attendants pretend to be there for your comfort and convenience but are actually there to cut your throat if you fuck around, while smiling brightly. God... flight attendants are scary. I want to take lessons.

straycatj

とおせんぼなのです

I bother your walking

buzzfeedtasty

An Intro To Indian Dishes, by BuzzFeed India

lebeaunoiseur

Food Network is shook!

ablogtitty-deactivated20181212

Give this girl her own show!!!

queersamus

“because mom said so” is literally how i learned to cook i’m screaming

8foldhero-deactivated20181214

“you don’t have that kind of time, and are secretly wishing for this emotional release” M O O D

verfound

If this ever pops up on the dash and I don’t reblog, just assume I’ve died. 🖤🖤🖤

mango-pickle

SHRISHTI DOES HAVE HER OWN SHOW. IT’S CALLED BEHENSPLAINING. AND IT’S ON NETFLIX AND YOUTUBE.

cipher-dorito

Yeahh Shrishti and Kusha review netflix films and shows it’s awesome!

official-lucifers-child

*singsong* i need to watch this right this second

punishedcrow

I need to cook like this. I only mix like 3 powders at maximum but from now on I’m going full force

lemonsharks

@taraljc

taraljc

i love her

aglionby

Eliza Dushku as Missy Pantone in Bring It On (2000)

vi14m2lg7m

“I know we’ll never grow old together, cause you’ll never be old to me”

bubbline emotional terrorism everyone

r-maliciouscompliance

Don't want dogs in your yard, lose your parking spot

Before I start, I want you guys to know that I live in the Philippines and most dogs in my country aren’t kept inside the house but inside cages outside of the home because my immediate family doesn’t want rowdy dogs inside the house.

Keep reading

cabincalico

holyfunnyhistoryherring

[ID: a tweet by Lakota Law Project @lakotalaw "Humans are not 'the virus.' Indigenous people have shown that it is possible to live in balance with nature. Colonialism and extraction for profit, those are the virus." and follow up "And here come the anti-Ingenous remarks in our mentions. Indigenous people, making up <5% of global population, protect over 80% of the world's biodiversity. That's not a stance, but a fact. Indigenous-held biomes are healthier and more resistant to climate change." End ID.]

beggars-opera

I’d like to introduce everyone to my new theme song

the-v-gees

fuckin MOOD

aninactivebloggfgfgf

I love the contrast between the lyrics and the melody this is art

cold-and-analytical

pfffffffft nooooo I didn’t just learn this song on ukulele… at midnight…

prridot

Lyrics:

I’ve tried, tried, tried And I’ve tried even more I’ve Cried, Cried, Cried And I can’t recall what for I’ve pressed, I’ve pushed, I’ve yelled, I’ve begged In hope of some success But the inevitable fact is that It never will impress

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have runneth dry, I’ve tried to go fuck shopping But there’s no fucks left to buy I’ve no more fucks to give, Though more fucks I’ve tried to get, I’m over my fuck budget and I’m now in fucking debt

I strive, strive, strive To get everything done I’ve played by all the rules But I’ve very rarely won, I’ve smiled, I’ve charmed, I’ve wooed I’ve laughed, Alas to no avail I’ve run round like a moron, To unequivocally fail!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fuck fuse has just blown, I’ve been hunting for my fucks all day, But they’ve upped and fucked off home, I’ve no more fucks to give, My fuck rations are depleted, I’ve rallied my fuck army but It’s been fucking defeated!

The effort has just not been worth The time or the expense I’ve exhausted all my energy For minimal recompense The complete lack of acknowledgement Has now begun to gall And I’ve come to realise that I Don’t give a fuck at all!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have flown away, My fucks are now so fucked off They’ve refused to fucking stay! I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have gone insane They’ve come back round and passed me While they’re fucking off again!

I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have all dissolved, I’ve planned many projects But my fucks won’t be involved! I’ve no more fucks to give, My fucks have all been spent, They’ve fucked off from the building And I don’t know where they went!

I’ve no more fucks to give, I’ve no more fucks to give, I’ve no more fucks, I’ve no more fucks, I’ve no more fucks to give!