YOU'RE NOT YOU WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK {OB BOYS X READER}
Summary: They say things to you they would never say sober
Riddle, the good boy he is, has never had a drop of alcohol before. Before you, that is. You convinced him to have a single glass of wine with you to commemorate the new year. He is the lightweight of the CENTURY. Halfway through the glass, he’s slurring his words and stumbling around. His hair is messed up and his tie is undone. How did he even do all that without you noticing?
“Jeez, Riddle. You need to sit down.” You try to get him to sit on his bed, but he swats your hand away.
“I’m fiiiiine, Y/n! I feel amazing!” He flops backwards onto his bed. At least he isn’t standing on those wobbly knees anymore. “Never felt better!”
“You’re not you when you’re drunk,” you sigh. You put a throw blanket over him. He giggles and hiccups. “I prefer the usual Riddle. I’m never drinking with you again.”
“Sober Riddle is soooo annoying! Why would you want that stuck up prude?” He pulls you into bed with him.
“No, sober Riddle is dignified and admirable. But… I guess I don’t hate silly Riddle, either,” you admit. “I just want to see you enjoying yourself.”
“I’m having so much fun! I wanna break all the rules!” He proclaims. “I know! I’ll call my mom and finally give her a piece of my mind!” He grabs his phone and pulls up his contacts.
“RIDDLE NO!!!” You snatch the phone away from him before he can ruin his life. “I’m putting this where you can’t reach it.”
“Y/nnnnnnnnnnn, not faiiiiirrrr…” He grabs you by the shirt and pulls you closer to him. “You never let me do anything fun!”
“I let you drink wine! That’s fun!” You lay beside him again, phone stored safely on top of his bookshelf.
“But you never do what I really want you to do!”
“You never… you never cuddle me while I sleep, o-or give me kisses, or tell me you love me and let me say it too… and you never give me kisses!!” He starts sobbing, dramatically throwing his arms around you. Your heart rate quickens.
“W-what are you talking about..?”
“I love you so much and you don’t love me back!” He wails.
“You… love me?” You’re in disbelief. This is how you find out that your feelings are reciprocated??
“So much! I want to hug and kiss you every night! I think about you when I go to sleep and when I wake up!” He confesses.
“Riddle, you shouldn’t be saying these things when you’re not in your right mind.”
“But… But I could never say it otherwise… I’m too scared…” His head collapses on your chest. He’s out cold.
“Riddle! You can’t fall asleep now!” You whine. Of course he would drop that bombshell on you right before passing out. “You know I can’t bring myself to wake you up…” You pull his blanket over the two of you, bracing yourself for a very awkward conversation in the morning.
You and Leona have had drinks together before, but something about this time is different. He has high tolerance, so for him to get as sloppy drunk as he is right now, he had to drink twice as much as usual. It makes you worry about him, something you try not to do too much. His head is swaying, and there’s a sadness in his eyes.
“Is something up, Leona? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this fucked up.” You pluck the half empty glass of whiskey from his hand, officially cutting him off.
“I’m fine,” he says lowly. He looks at you like a piece of raw meat.
“You don’t look fine. Seriously, Leona. You can tell me if something is troubling you, you know? Even you need to open up once in a while, or you’ll burn out.”
“You…” He grabs the collar of your shirt. “Do you have any idea how annoying you are?”
“Yeah, since you always tell me.” You try to pry his hand from your shirt, but he grips harder and braces his other hand on your bicep. He looks like he could fall into you at any moment the way he’s leaning forward.
“No, you know what I mean,” he growls, looking furious at you when you’ve done nothing wrong.
“I couldn’t be more in the dark right now.” He yanks you towards him, eliciting a yelp from your throat.
“The way you never leave my mind… I can’t get a moment’s peace with you always invading my thoughts. Your stupid smile, stupid soft skin, stupid laugh that replays in my head every time I close my eyes…”
“Leona…” You look him in his hazy eyes. The man clearly has no idea what’s coming out of his mouth. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Idiot. How could I make it any clearer?” He rests his head on your shoulder, your back bent uncomfortably with your ass halfway off the chair. “I’m in love with you. Dumbass.”
“WHAT!?!?” He falls asleep on your shoulder, leaving no room for clarification. “What the fuck!? Wake up!!” You shake him as hard as you can. The man could sleep through an active warzone. He’s too heavy to move. You’re trapped under a spoiled lion prince who just professed his love to you until the booze wears off and he bothers to remove himself from you. “Leona, you can’t just drop this on me…”
You run through all the interactions you’ve ever had with him in your head. Maybe it should have been more obvious. Why else would he always gravitate towards you? His head slides down your body, bumping over your breasts before flopping into your lap. “How do you sleep like that!?”
“Y/n…” He mumbles in his sleep. The way he says your name is so tender, so unlike Leona. Between how uncomfortable your position is and how your heart is racing, you don’t think you’ll be getting any sleep tonight. At least you can look forward to seeing his reaction when you tell him what he said to you while drunk.
Azul has sampled his fair share of fine wines in his day. Despite his age, many prospective business partners have shared a glass or two during meetings. So, Azul is used to some level of alcohol in his system. What he isn’t used to is cheap hooch, delivered straight to him by the girl he harbors secret affections for.
“This stuff ROCKS!!!” He rips off his bow tie and swings it around in the air. You bury your head in your hands.
“What have I done??” You question all of your life choices. You will never be drinking with Azul again. He undoes the top few buttons of his shirt.
“It’s so hot in this office. Who designed this place? It’s so boring.”
“You did, Azul,” you inform him.
“I did? I have terrible taste.” He starts undoing more buttons.
“Azul no!” You run over to him and force his hands away from his shirt. It’s half unbuttoned by this point, his chest peeking out. “Think of how you’ll feel about this when you’re sober!” Tears form in his eyes. “Shit, Azul, please don’t drunk cry. It’s okay!”
“You hate meeeeee!!” He howls, tears freely falling down his cheeks. You facepalm.
“I don’t hate you! You know that!”
“You think I’m ugly!!” He drops to his knees and sobs like a baby. You crouch next to him and give him a tight hug.
“No I don’t. You’re gorgeous, Azul. I just don’t want you to… expose yourself when I know you’ll be embarrassed in the morning.” He hugs you back and nuzzles his head into your shoulder.
“If you think I’m pretty, why don’t you ever tell me you love me!? You’re supposed to love me!” He sniffles. His snot seeps into your shirt.
“A-Azul… do you… love me?” You ask. You grip his back tighter.
“Yes! So much! I love you so much and you never say it back!”
“How can I say it back if you’ve never said it in the first place!?!?” He passes out in your arms before he can answer. “Azul! Don’t leave me hanging!” You’re terrified thinking about how you’ll have to tell him about all this when he’s sober. Poor Azul is already so insecure, so when he finds out that he confessed his love while piss drunk, he’s sure to have a serious crisis. You cradle his head and lay him down on top of you so you don’t have to sit upright while you wait for him to wake up. The floor is uncomfortable without a pillow to support your neck.
“Please don’t stay asleep too long… My neck will die.” You absentmindedly run your fingers through his hair. It doesn’t feel bad to cuddle with Azul, even if you’re in a terrible position. You wonder if he’ll deny what he said, writing it off as the drunk ramblings of an overworked man. You don’t want him to deny it, because you have a few things you want to say to him, too.
“Wait, watch this!” Jamil fails another head spin.
“Jamil, you’re gonna break your neck.”
“No, I can do it! Watch!” He falls flat on his face again. You’ve learned an important lesson; never give Jamil hard seltzers again. He’s spent the last 20 minutes trying to impress you with his dance moves. When he’s sober, his moves are impressive. Like this, he’s flopping around like a dead fish.
“I believe you. Now, let’s get you in bed, where you can’t hurt yourself.” You grab his shoulders and push him towards his bed.
“You never let me have fun. I’m gonna go find Kalim so he can take me on a magic carpet ride. That guy knows how to enjoy himself.” Your jaw drops open.
“Are you drunk or are you under mind control?? Listen to what you’re saying!” Jamil slaps a hand over his mouth, seeming to sober up a bit.
“I can’t believe I just said that,” he whispers. “Maybe you’re right. I should go to bed before I say something worse.”
“Good boy.” You help him into bed and pull the blanket over him.
“Get in.” He slides over and pats the empty space next to him.
“Guess you didn’t sober up quite enough.” He grabs your wrist.
“Stay with me tonight, Y/n, or I’ll dance again,” he threatens.
“This is extortion…” You shake your head, but crawl in next to him anyway. You stay as close to the edge of the bed as possible, but Jamil doesn’t take the hint and wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you way too close.
“You’re mine now. No one else’s. I won’t let anyone else have you…” he rambles.
“I’m my own woman, Jamil!” You protest. He gives you a stern, venomous glare.
“No! No one can love you like I do!” He yells. “No one else is fit to be by your side!”
“Jamil! Where is this coming from!? Shut up before you say something you can’t take back!”
“I’m tired of hiding it and waiting for someone to steal you from me! I’m tired of it! I’m… tired…” His head lolls back, crashing into his pillow. His arm is heavy on your waist.
“Don’t you dare fall asleep after saying that!” You shake him as hard as you can. He doesn’t budge. “Jamil…” You groan and rest your head in your pillow.
“My Y/n…” He says without waking up.
“I… If you really love me, then we’re going to have a serious talk when you wake up.” You stare at his resting face. His brows are furrowed, as if he’s still stressed in his sleep. Maybe he subconsciously knows that the morning will bring awkward conversations. “Why couldn’t you just say this while sober. I have so much I have to tell you.” You lift a hand to his face and stroke his cheek. He really is beautiful. “Yours, huh?” Jamil’s. You, all his and he, all yours. You decide you better get some sleep to prepare for the talk you two will have. You drift off beside him.
Your neck is heavy with jewelry. Every necklace Vil owns is draped on you. “Now let’s try these earrings…” He can’t put more than one earring in at a time, so he swaps out the earring he put on you for the fifth time in an hour. Vil and tequila do not mix.
“Can I take some of these off?” You try to unclasp a weighty gold necklace, but he swats your hand away.
“I need to see what looks best on you. How else will I know what to buy you for Valentine’s Day?” He takes your hand and loops another bracelet on your already crowded wrist. “It’s no use…” He suddenly pouts and flops onto his bed, absolutely despondent.
“Uh, what happened? You were fine a second ago.” You take this opportunity to shed the jewelry and return it all to his desk.
“Everything looks good on you! I won’t be able to choose the perfect Valentine’s gift!” He complains.
“Vil, we’re not a couple. We don’t need to get each other Valentine’s gifts,” you remind him. He moans and buries his face in his pillow.
“Why noooot??” He whines.
“I told you why, because we’re not a couple.” He looks at you with teary eyes, mascara smeared on his pillow.
“But why aren’t we a couple? Am I not beautiful enough for you? I can become more beautiful! Let me get more beautiful, then you’ll want me!” He cries.
“Vil, you’re already the most beauti— SINCE WHEN DID YOU WANT US TO BE A COUPLEEEEE!?!?!?” You shriek.
“Since always, you ignorant little potato! How oblivious can you be!?” He throws a pillow at you.
“H-hey! How was I supposed to know! You have such a good poker face…” You go to sit next to him on his bed. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
“Because… I love you, and you always act like we’re just friends…” He mopes.
“Whoa, love?? Vil, you have no idea what you’re saying! You need to sleep the tequila off!” You tuck him in and grab some makeup wipes to help him take his face off.
“I can’t sleep… I haven’t done my skincare yet…” He drifts off, leaving his confession lingering in the air.
“Son of a bitch… You would totally scold me if you heard me talking like that while you’re awake…” You blot his makeup away and apply some toner and moisturizer for him. His usual routine would be way more in depth, but that won’t be easy to do with him splayed out in bed. You don’t know all the steps to the routine, anyway.
You try to relax beside him. You’re too afraid to leave, not wanting to wait a second longer to have a talk with him when he wakes up. “Do I tell you what you said, or do I pretend it never happened…” You know you have to tell him, so you can finally say what you have to say, too.
“Where is that energy coming from?” You watch Idia dance to another Premo song. He’s been at it for almost half an hour. The lemon sours in his system act as fuel for his idol worship.
“Quiet, Y/n! The best part is coming on!” His feet pick up their pace as the bridge of the song plays.
“Okay, you had your fun. I can’t watch this anymore.” You turn off the music.
“Fine, best part’s over, anyways.” He walks over to where you sit on his bed and decides your lap looks comfortable. He sits on you without restraint, knocking the air from your lungs. “Heeeh… you make a good chair.”
“Your ass is so bony.” You try to push him off, but he just leans into you. “At least lie down so we can both be comfortable.”
“Works for me, as long as I get to cuddle you~” He turns towards you, wraps his arms around your waist, and pulls the two of you down to his bed. “Y/n, Y/n, Y/nnnn…” He hums. His head rests dangerously close to your boobs. “Grab me another lemon sour.”
“But then I’d have to stop cuddling you,” you point out.
“Ah, good point. Can’t have that.” He hugs you closer. “Y/n… I’m sorry I’m so weird and awkward. I wanna tell you things, but I’m too scared.”
“Things like what?” You start sweating a little. Is he going to say something he’ll regret later?
“Like… Of all my oshis, there aren’t any I love more than you. You’re like, my fav, Y/n. Not in a way that I want merch of you or wanna make a blog dedicated to you, but like I wanna do what we’re doing now forever. IRL.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Idia, are you hearing yourself? Is this for real?” Panic runs through your veins. He’s going to hate himself in the morning. He’ll never be able to look you in the eye again when he realizes what he’s done. Your lazy days of snacks and anime in his room are in jeopardy if you don’t do damage control. “I’m getting you coffee to sober you up. We gotta talk about this!”
“No! Stay here forever with me!” To prevent you from leaving, he passes out with his arms caged around you. You can’t leave if you can’t move his body.
“Idia, this is the worst possible time to fall asleep!” You shake him, but he snuggles harder and sleeps deeper, as if doing it in an act of defiance. “I can’t believe you, making me wait all night to sort this out. I wonder… will you freak out when I say what I want to. I don’t want you to literally combust.” You pull his hair to the side so it doesn’t cover his mouth while he rests.
His breath against your neck strangely calms you a little. Being close to him feels good. It feels natural. If you’re lucky, that drunk confession might just turn into the best thing to ever happen to either of you.
Drunk Malleus sucks at card games. You’re not sure why his reaction to absinthe is to challenge you to Uno, a game he most certainly doesn’t know how to play, but that’s what he wants. He loses to you for the fourth time and finally throws all of his cards into the air.
“Enough of this!” His voice booms against the walls of his dorm.
“You were the one who wanted to play!” You collect the cards he tossed in his tantrum and put the deck back together.
“Well… I thought you’d let me win.” He crosses his arms and huffs.
“Don’t know where you got that impression from, but I’m neither drinking nor playing card games with you ever again.” You slam the deck on his desk.
“To let you stop spending time with me! You will spend time with me!” He demands.
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t! But you gotta be sober from now on!” He chuckles darkly and crawls out of bed, marching towards you.
“You think you’re in any position to be making demands of me?” He holds your chin between his thumb and pointer finger. You’re not impressed.
“Yes. Get back in bed and sleep it off. You can’t hold your liquor.” You take his hand away from your chin and drag him back into bed. “Under the covers, now.” With an annoyed grumble, he complies.
“You only ever treat me with cruelty, when all I’ve ever shown you is my genuine love. You’re horrible for playing with my heart like this.” He pulls the blanket over his head.
“You’re speaking nonsense. Get some rest. I’ll sleep on the loveseat so I can be here to bring you some water and painkillers in the morning.” This causes him to throw the blanket off and grab you by both arms.
“It isn’t nonsense! You must stay with me, my love! How blasphemous… To turn down my affections… Unheard of insolence!”
“You… You’re serious, aren’t you?” The fire in his eyes goes out, replaced by a quiet sorrow.
“My love… My dearest Y/n… Please, say you return my feelings…” He pulls you into bed and rests your head on his chest.
“M-Malleus!” He falls asleep with you held close, leaving no room for escape. “You didn’t give me a chance to respond before passing out and trapping me here…” You listen to his heartbeat. Steady as ever, unlike yours. You feel it pounding in your chest, throat, and stomach.
Your hand hovers over his stomach for a minute before you gently rest it on him. His warmth spreads through your arm. A dragon for a mate, what an odd concept. If he truly chooses you as the next queen of Briar Valley, you’re not sure if you can fill the role. There is much to be discussed when he comes to. “I hope you have good dreams tonight, Malleus. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much.”
