* NATURAL / DISASTER. @kianwalls - Tumblr Blog

KIAN WALLING ( BOOBOO STEWART ) is an EIGHTEEN year old from BRISTOL, ENGLAND. HE is known around the island as THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE because he is STEADFAST and VALIANT but can also be SURLY and HOTHEADED. HE reminds of tangled earbuds, baggy t-shirts, and the dim glow of a laptop screen in a dark, empty room.

#wilds.intro

joecartwright:

in the immediate aftermath of his dramatic exit joe parked himself down on the sand. he buried his feet and lower abdomen in it. he knew it didn’t make any rational sense but the weight of the sand on top of him made him feel safe and protected. it was like why some people liked using weighted blankets. he stayed in the sand and slipped heaps of it through his fingers, feeling terrified about the way the adams might perceive him. his was consumed by the worst case scenario, that other people might see him the way he sees himself. eventually he got tired of sitting there. self-loathing and betrayal were exhausting emotions. he went for a walk along the edge of the jungle because even though he was sick of wallowing he still wasn’t ready to face the others.

he snapped his head around at the sound on a twig snapping then dusted off some of the remaining grains of sand that clung to him. “yeah.” he answered, simply. he didn’t sound angry or bitter, he sounded tired. “it’s fine though.” he assured kian. everybody had cunty moments, that was part of being human. “i’m sorry for legging it. that was really uncool.” he apologised, looking at his trainers. he should have laughed it off or said something like yes and? that doesn’t invalidate my point about dash being a dick. but he wasn’t confident enough to say the second option and it hit too close to home for him to laugh it off. he made a pfft sound then bit his lip. kian’s apology one of the weakest apologies he’s ever heard and his parents had been giving him half-hearted apologies for years. “what? was i meant to take it as a compliment and not be pissed off you used a personal…thing against me?” he asked. he wanted to be madder than he was but he was tired of being angry.

-

kian shrunk back like a dog scolded at joe’s words, scratching at his upper arm to give his hand something to do besides hover uselessly at his side. yeah, okay, maybe he was a shit apology-giver. he was a shit lots of things, most of which had everything to do with making and keeping friends. it was why he was so lonely back home, despite knowing a bunch of people. it was why he could never keep anyone in his life, despite being such a slag. but he really, really wanted to be a better person. it just...came with practice, he supposed. and accepting when he’d majorly fucked up – like right now. “ sorry, ” he said again, more quietly this time. “ i know that stuff...makes you uncomfortable. talking about blowies and men shagging men. at first i thought it was kind of funny so i pushed it, but i proper crossed the line tonight. so i’m sorry for that. ”

#joe.#int.

when: day 11, after dinner where: somewhere near camp who: @joecartwright

after scarfing down his share of the fish ( it was, quite predictably, bland – but kian was used to unseasoned foods, having been raised in england ), kian decided he’d go find joe before the guy became another tally on their missing persons bulletin. he couldn’t help but feel sorry for blowing up at him, even if he thought at least some of it was deserved. it just...when he saw callum picking on dash for no good reason, it pulled some kind of hair trigger deep within him that had him jumping on the defense. he was sixteen again, defending his twin sister against the school bully, and joe was the bystander who happened to get caught in his path.

“ you still think i’m a cunt ? ” he asked softly, shoes crunching the leaves as he approached joe from behind. “ i’m sorry about earlier. for, like...calling you a bumder and whatnot. though i’m a bumder, so it’s a bit of a high honor to bestow, when you think about it. ”

#joe.#int.

liamxanderson:

dashmendoza:

x

Dash picked at the knot that tied the ripped up t-shirt around his waist as Kian listed off his reasons, then snorted when the other boy got to the end. “Ah. Theeeere it is,” he dryly said to Liam. He felt he was in the same situation as yesterday when he told Kian he wasn’t going to make good company anytime soon, and hoped he wouldn’t be expected to do much more than nod and breathe. His brow furrowed as he pinched harder at the offensive bits of fabric until it finally came loose. He tried to be careful in pulling it off then rolling it up, but mostly he just let it fall into his lap. The wound somehow looked even grosser than it did before, inflamed with weird watery fluids filling in the gaps. Dash wrinkled up his nose. Before he reached for the container of Vaseline, he flicked the bottom of Kian’s foot. “Well if you’re here to play half-assed nurse, least you can do is keep us entertained.” He gestured between himself and Liam, then nodded toward the jungle behind him as he dipped his first two fingers into the salve. “So what’re everyone’s guesses on how that whole thing’s gonna pan out?”

@liamxanderson

…

“mmm,” liam humbled at dash’s comment, rolling his eyes slightly. his head rolled back lazily before landing on his shoulder to look back at kian. while he also didn’t want to go back into the jungle any time soon, seems little fishy (no pun intended) that kian would rather sit on the beach with he and dash instead of doing something useful. but then again, kian was one of the ones who always wanted to do the exact opposite as what the rest of the group wanted. liam’s eyes drifted down as dash revealed his wound. a grimace coming across his face when he finally got his first sight of it. it looked pretty bad, probably needed a lot more than just some vaseline that’s been sitting in the sun for 11 days. but instead of voicing that out loud, he just went along with dash’s egging. “yeah, we are the patients after all,” even thought liam was in far better shape than dash was. “my guess? lukas is going to come back with a black eye but hopefully they get the axe. the guys fishing will have some homoerotic moment but wont catch anything because while jj is smart, i don’t thought those guys can be quiet long enough to not scare the fish away.”

@kianwalls

kian gave them both an english-style two-finger salute at the comments on his so-called shite nursing skills. “ right, sorry i’m not here to feel you primadonnas up. you’re gonna have to get doctor mclaren for that, ” he said, putting an extra scottish brogue on cowboy bebop’s name. absolute gayness aside, it’s not like dash and liam were his last resort or anything. in fact, they were his first choice of people to spend the day with – hence the reason he was even here. but he guessed that if they got tired of him, he could always go sit in the sand and watch the two fishermen dick around in the water with their tops off.

kian tossed his hair behind his shoulder. “ this is what i think is gonna go down, yeah ? they search the jungle. things are tense until tozer says something stupid and sergeant tells him to fuck off. they stare into each others’ eyes for a long, gay moment, but suddenly: the hog from yesterday is back. and she wants revenge. naturally, she goes for sergeant first ‘cause he’s the meatiest, but at the last second, who but tozer jumps in front of him and spares his life ? and as he’s lying there, bleeding out on the ground with a tusk in his side, he whispers to sergeant: ” he put on a ( very ) bad jersey accent: “ i love you, you peesa shit. sebastian replies: after all this time ? and tozer says, friggin’ right, after all this time. and then he dies. ” kian paused, thinking. “ and then the survivors shag in the clearing. bareback style. ”

@dashmendoza

#dash.#liam.#int.

oflukcs:

●

There were a number of things Lukas thought while Kian gave his response. Like why everyone seemed to be blaming Dash’s injury for his own fuck up. That Sebastian seemed more bite than bark. And that tragically, murder-lust was technically and unfortunately a human feeling. But he didn’t go with any of that. “ Listen, that was real nice and I appreciate the bat, ” Is that what they were calling the spiky bark now? “ However, not really convincing. Your bedside manner’s sort of shit. ” He critiqued in jest, somewhat amused by the concept of his own destruction now that Kian had confirmed that it felt fairly likely. He let bag fall from his shoulder as he spoke, so he could stash his very own Lucille away out of sight, and not somewhere he’d prick his fingers on accident, like his pocket. He sucked his teeth before he continued. He asked one serious question and now he had to make about twenty jokes so no one could come for his role as official camp jester. “ So, in case it comes to it, I’m leaving you in charge of making sure no one says any weird Christian shit at my funeral. ” He returned back to his shoulder, one hand wrapping around a strap. “ If they do, well– I’ll leave the punishment up to you, how about that? ” He looked back to Kian with a small grin.

-

you know, lukas wasn’t the first guy to say his bedside manner was shit, but it hurt him more this time than it did when dash said it. like, when someone’s being a dickhead to you, call a spade a spade, but kian was actually trying to be a comfort in the face of certain death. he blinked a couple times, masking the momentary quiver in his lip with a thoughtful scowl, instead.

“ i don’t reckon we’ve got any christians in the group, ” said kian, stomping around in the leaves just to listen to them crunch. “ closest we’ve got is joseph – he’s a catholic, but whether or not that counts as a friend of christ is what started the irish troubles, and i’ve not got it in me to start another bloody civil war. ” he turned back to lukas. “ how about this: if he says a bible verse or summat, i’ll make sure it’s at least from the old testament. ”

#lukas.#int.

joecartwright:

“oh fuck off, you knew what i meant.” he huffed, flipping kian the bird with a grin. kian had a talent for making joe look like a tit but that wasn’t difficult. “you can try that experiment when we get back to civilisation.” he suggested. he hadn’t snogged anybody he fancied so he didn’t know the different between snogs that felt good and the stilted awkward ones he mostly had at housies. “i wouldn’t put any stock into that everybody talks complete bollocks when they’re high, even geniuses.” not that any of the people joe had gotten high with before jj were geniuses but their data was still a human with a human brain just like anybody else.“can you stop calling blowies slob on the knob? you make them sound minging.” he crinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue to show his disgust. “actually keep going. you might put me off men for life.” he joked, sardonically. that ship had sailed a long time ago.

-

“ there’s no way to make a blowie not sound mingin’, dickhead, ” kian retorted, taking a pinch of sand between his fingertips and flicking it joe’s way. “ gob job, hoover. even blowjob’s skating by on some very thin ice, ‘cause why do we call it that in the first place ? it makes no sense. we should be calling it a suckjob, on account of you’re not actually supposed to blow air on someone’s bellend. ” honestly. the evolution of the english language never failed to both stupefy and exasperate him. “ i reckon that’s the first thing i’ll do once i get off this island, ” he said with a self-convinced nod. “ i’ll find the guy who invented the word blowjob and punch him in the dick like, ‘ how’s this for a blow, you tosser ? ’ and then i’ll spit on him. ”

#joe.#int.

oflukcs:

●

Lukas isn’t sure what he expected but an extra spiky bit of bark was really top of his list. He watches as Kian turns the thing over in his hands and listens as he speaks. It occurs to him that maybe he’d been toeing a dangerous line during his time on the island, and that he had crossed the line by losing the axe. And now he was jumping, bleeding, straight into the lion’s den and everyone else knew it too. He bit the inside of his cheek before holding his hand out for it. “ Like Lucille in The Walking Dead, Negan’s bat. ” He referenced, not able to think of a movie but the image of Glenn Rhee’s death scene coming to mind immediately. “ Thanks, ” He drew his attention from the makeshift bat up to Kian’s as he gave his thanks but they quickly dipped back down. Cautiously, but also stupidly, he lowered his palm onto the pins, pulling away with a light hiss for air when it pricked his skin. Turning hand over to investigate the damage. Yeah, Kian must think he’s totally fucked to be helping him with the world’s most desperate weapon. “ Be honest with me, how dead do you think I am walking into the jungle with those guys? ” He asked, eyes lingering on his hand and the few tiny dots of red starting to show for a moment before he looked up again.

-

kian mustered up a high-pitched noise and a grimace that said you’re totally dead, but i’m not gonna be the one to break that to you. “ at least you’ve got a fighting chance now that you’ve got the zombie bat, hey ? ” he said, giving lukas a friendly smack on his sunburnt, peeling arm. after a few awkward moments of silence, kian cleared his throat. “ for what it’s worth, sometimes i think they’re more bark than they are bite. like, what happened yesterday was completely mental. i’m sure that if sergeant dickhead had human feelings, an axe would be the last thing on his mind when his best mate’s on the brink of death, too. ”

#luke.#int.

joecartwright:

“you fucking bellend!” he shouted with a laugh when kian said he was joking. he slapped kiki’s knee then quickly put his hand back on the side of the log. “i genuinely thought i pissed you off. i was about to beg for your forgiveness and go on a tangent about how cool i am with gay people." he continued, more quitely. he was still laughing at how much of a mug he was. kian was narrowly spared from his stirring rendition of closer to fine by the indigo girls. he hummed thoughtfully at kian’s question. he crossed his legs, placing his left ankle on his right knee."i suppose so in a a mouth’s a mouth kind of way but that sounds pretty bi. but i don’t know i’m not an expert. i don’t think about alleged straight lads tonguing lads. why are you asking?”

-

“ erm, hate to break it to you, but you kind of just did. ” at least partially – liam might have been a certified switch-hitter, but the jury was still out on dash. kian started to braid his hair into a messy plait as he spoke. “ see, i thought the same thing at first. if someone were to blindfold me and have me snog a girl, would i even realize that it’s a girl ? or is there such a thing as gay pheromones ? ” if there were, kian had probably lost his during the plane crash. it’d explain why his gaydar was so out-of-sorts lately. “ maybe jj was right in that no one’s 100% straight. maybe everyone has that, like...one person they’d slob knob or snuff muff for. ”

#joe.#int.

liamxanderson:

dashmendoza:

x

Dash didn’t particularly want to try his hand at fishing and he definitely didn’t want to traipse back into the jungle anytime soon, but sitting around and doing nothing was figuratively killing him. He jiggled his foot restlessly and chewed on the chain of his necklace where he lay on his designated pink towel, and only grunted in response to Kian’s greeting. Dash opened one eye only for it to narrow at the ‘salve’ that was extended toward him. “Itchy,” he stated unfeelingly. “Exhausting as all fuck.” Though that was definitely in part thanks to the ongoing comedown.

He ran his palms down the front of his face, then dipped his chin to look at the bandage that covered the wound on his side. It all looked the same to him. With a soft groan, borne mostly from irritation rather than actual pain, he pushed himself up into a sitting position. He nabbed the ointment from Kian and turned his hand to get a look at the label. Vaseline. Good enough. Dash lifted it a little then nodded in thanks. It would take him a moment to unwrap his makeshift bandage, so he merely passed it over to Liam to use first. “So why’d you stay behind, K-man?”

@liamxanderson

…

liam was more than happy to stay put on the shore with dash. while he did feel at home out on the water since growing up in california, he didn’t feel up to fishing with the boys after everything that happened the day before. and he definitely wasn’t going to go limping through the jungle with the others looking for the missing axe. he needed a day off. but even so, he felt restless. he was laying in the sand, bunny tucked under his head while he fidgeted with his tech deck in hopes that his anxiety would go away. hearing kian join them, he sat up. “sadly still alive,” he answered along with dash.

taking the container from dash as he passed it over, liam offered both boys a smile. pulling his ripped pant leg up, he uncapped the vaseline and took a small amount to rub on his wounds. he may not have gotten it as bad as dash and needed to be stitched up, but the shit still hurt. “yeah? didn’t feel like getting murdered in the jungle too?” liam asked, setting the vaseline in the sand next to dash.

-

“ well, one, i’m pure rubbish at fishing, ” he said, counting on his fingers, “ and two, i’m not stepping back into that clearing unless my life depends on it. like, where do they figure that pig’s gone ? into the ocean ? piss off. ” wolves were bad enough to deal with, but the five boys going on the axe search party must’ve had a death wish if they were willing to risk coming face-to-face with that demon hog again. not kian. he actually kind of wanted to live, thanks. stretching his legs out in the sand, he slotted one between each of dash and liam’s. “ i told them i’d tend to your wounds and make sure you’re hydrated, but really, i just wanted an excuse to laze around and chat shit. ”

@dashmendoza

#liam.#dash.#int.

when: day 11, noon where: the camp @dashmendoza & @liamxanderson

after what happened yesterday, kian didn’t much feel like braving the jungle again for a plane axe ( and did there really need to be five people looking for it at once ? ) and he couldn’t participate in homoerotic topless fishing for obvious reasons ( that one kian was actually quite bummed about ), so he figured he’d make himself useful back at camp. after all, that was where dash and liam were, and kian had sort of come to consider them his closest acquaintances – dare he even say friends.

“ rise and shine, boys, ” he said, stepping over their idle bodies where they snoozed in the shade. “ your sexy nurse is here with salve. ” the salve in question was actually a travel-sized pot of petroleum jelly he found in that pink suitcase, but ointment was ointment. kian sat cross-legged at their feet and held the little container out for them to take. “ how are we faring on the healing front, snog hogs ? ”

#dash.#liam.#int.

cash in a nutshell

#( too lazy to do fancy editing use ur imaginations )#wilds.edit #dash.#callum.

joecartwright:

“don’t be a debbie downer. it’s worth a try.” he shrugged. he was either going to be new jortsey’s knight in shining gym shorts or get strangled to death by sebastian and neither option sounded that bad.“i might be able to talk sebastian down.” the other boy wasn’t a supervillain. deep down he had a heart. he stopped warren from falling off a cliff. joe starred at kian blankly. this must have been what all the other adam’s felt like when they talked to him.“ a what from a what? do i want to know what any of that meant?” he figured out what kian wasn’t talking about the passing drills but that was it.

“oh, nice." he muttered, rubbing his hands over his face. he felt like a scandalised victorian gent that just saw a cheeky bit of ankle. he basically was a scandalised victorian gent besides from not having a silly top hat ,at least he didn’t think he owned a silly top hat but he hasn’t properly looked through dash’s suitcase,. how the fuck was he meant to deal with firm arse cheeks being used like handlebars? "don’t know i haven’t checked.” he answered, quickly. at least he hadn’t checked on purpose. if he had to give an answer he would say sawyer. “it is ? good for him. you’re right maybe he does a bunch of squats. i bet him and pinky are going to do squats together after we leave them to rest. or maybe they’ll tongue each other again?” he pondered, jokingly.

-

kian’s cheeky smile fell a bit as joe started joking about dash and liam tonguing each other over squats. “ that’s a bit homophobic, innit ? ”

“ ...i’m just taking the piss, they’re totally going to tongue each other again, ” he said, snickering as he slapped joe on the arm – maybe even a little harder than the other boy was probably used to. but kian couldn’t help himself; joe was just so fun to mess with. like one of those kids who went to the catholic school down the road from his own, blushing at any and all talk of sex and condemning people to hell for wearing lacy knickers on sundays. luckily, he seemed to be pretty cool with the gay thing, so kian didn’t have to punch him in the dick for being a bigot.

kian sat quietly for a moment, thinking. “ joe, ” he said, “ do you think it’s possible to be straight and still enjoy snogging guys ? ”

#joe.#int.

oflukcs:

●

Trying to be semi-useful and use just a fraction of forethought he was spending the time before the jungle crew took off packing a bag. Couple water bottles, couple bits of whatever fucking food he could find, anything else he could find that might be something they’d need. When he heard someone call out. Standing up straight and searching for the source with furrowed brow, he didn’t become any less confused when eyes landed on Kian. They guy was fine, in fact arguably Lukas rather liked him. Top five but considering their fellow castaways that wasn’t much of a win. However Lukas had never thought that feeling was much reciprocated. The only time he’d seen Kian in anything but a grumpy mood was probably when he was sticking his tongue down JJ’s throat.

All the same, he meandered over, casting a glance over his shoulder as he hitched bag onto it. Considering Kian’s position literally hiding behind a tree he figured whatever he had to say was sort of private. He quirked a brow when he said he had something for him. “ Is it a noose? ” The deadpan words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them. Any other day he would’ve gone with a simple, classy deez nuts joke or something. “ Bad joke, sorry– ” He tacked on dismissively. His actual friends back home would have given him shit for that one, he didn’t know why he thought to try it out on Kian. “ What’s up? ”

-

kian’s face scrunched in confusion. “ have we got rope, now ? ” he hadn’t realized lukas was joking until he told him so, and kian had to remind himself that punching him in the tit was totally against the whole nice person vibe he was trying for. “ whatever, never mind that. look – ”

from where he’d been hiding it behind his back, kian unveiled the secret weapon he’d stayed up making last night on his evening binder retreat: a thick plank of tree bark with nearly fifty pins from dash’s sewing kit sticking out of its one end. some of them were a bit bent on account of him shoving them into the wood, but it was a very small minority, he thought. “ i figured you needed some backup on the trip with sergeant and marcher. you know, in case they start roid raging on you. ” he turned the plank over in his hands, showing lukas all of the differently-colored pins. “ it’s like one of those nail bats you fight zombies with, yeah ? i’ve seen it in films. ”

#lukas.#int.

when: day 11, morning where: the camp @oflukcs

after his confession at the campfire last night, kian was kind of worried for lukas, which was probably the most he’d thought about the other boy in the past eleven days.

it was pretty understandable that he lost the plane axe, kian thought; none of them were in their right minds out in that clearing ( which was actually partly lukas’s fault, but something told kian they probably would have ended up taking those shrooms anyway ), and when the demon-hog attacked two of their own, all anyone could focus on was getting the fuck back to camp. so when the usual suspects went off on lukas for forgetting the axe, kian was like, proper raging. he knew that blue was going with them on the search to keep the peace and that joe was going to keep a piece, and he wavered from minute to minute on whether callum was a murderous dickhead or just a melt with anger management issues, but sebastian ? six-foot-five sebastian who probably dreamt about killing the weaklings off in their sleep so he could carve out their insides and sleep inside them to stay warm ? kian didn’t trust him one bit. but not to worry – he had a plan.

“ hey, ” he whisper-shouted when the rest of the boys were still washing off in the ocean, hiding behind one of the trees that dotted the small shoreline. like kian, lukas never seemed to want to take his shirt off, so they were always the two that lingered behind and opted to do their bathing in private. at least, he hoped lukas bathed. “ tozer. over here, i’ve got something for you. ”

#int.#lukas

joecartwright:

“yeah, a little.” he replied quitely with a small nod of his head. fuck he was joking. yes, he thought that the hockey players were hot but that was just an objective fact. it didn’t mean he had a thing for canadians.”shut up. you’re the town bike.” he retorted, returning kian’s shove. he tried to make the town bike sound like an insult but he couldn’t hide the awe and hint of jelaousy in his voice. “or the city bike, i guess.” everything he knew about bristol came from tv shows but he knew that it was reasonably sized. “you’ve had no luck at being the island bike. unless you’re counting that shroom snog with jj.” he teased. “i’m not going with them to try to get laid. i’m just…there’s enough people going fishing and somebody needs to try to stop sebastian from hatecriming lukas.” if he just happened to see callum dripping with sweat and his arms flexing as he shoved branches out of the way that would be a lucky coincidence and that wasn’t his motive for going into the jungle.

joe blinked slowly. he felt like the family computer he had as a kid when it slowly attempted to reboot then crashed in the middle of rebooting. how was he meant to respond? he’d been in situations where people bragged about fucking but those situations were always in large groups of lads and involved painfully straight conquests. “cool. it’s a good thing he had a nice arse. you can’t go wrong with a nice arse.”

-

“ mm, yeah, no, there’s no one stopping that guy from killing tozer if that’s what he’s decided he wants to do. ” kian very pointedly did not comment on being referred to as the city or island bike – if anything, that was dash ( and god bless him for it, but was kian the only one who remembered that the guy was supposedly straight ? ) he would, however, settle for being the island longboard. roller skates ? it wasn’t like he was asking for much, here. “ best you can do is just sit back and watch it happen. or get a give-and-go from a couple grinders. ” wink wonk.

ugh, great. now he was thinking about shirtless mermen who played water hockey.

teasing good old catholic joe about gay sex was fun, though, so he kept at it. “ that’s what i’m saying, like. just a couple solid handlebars to hold onto while you’re shagging. ” he pulled his leg up onto the log they sat on and started playing with the ends of his hair, like he was sharing school stories with clarke. “ which guy here do you think has the best bum ? 'cos like, i want to say it’s one of the hockey players, but liam’s is surprisingly nice as well ? do you reckon he does a lot of squats when no one’s looking ? ”

#kian.#int.

joecartwright:

kian must have had a secret stash of poems he was keeping from the lads. bounce a coin off them and watch them jiggle was some compelling imagery as joe’s old english lit teacher, that hated him, would say. he could get lost in picturing that. he bit his lip and tried to pay attention to what kian was saying. “so is this what you do when you sit around looking all broody? you come up with creative ways to describe abs?" he asked with a sly smile. he could see how that would be an enjoyable hobby.

kian pulling an uno reverse and taking the opportunity to tease joe was as fair as most of the adams looking like frescos. of course he thought kian was fit. he was only human and couldn’t resist a pair of sharp sculpted cheekbones. he could feel his cheeks heating up. "no i’m more into canadians. the way they say aboot and slam men into the side of hockey rinks really…” his throat went dry. it was easier to pretend to be a normal person that could joke about sex without feeling an intense amount of guilt when he was with a large group of people. “gets me going.”

-

“ the hockey players ?! ” kian asked, perhaps a bit too loudly. it made sense, when he thought about it, that joe was the type to favor being slammed over doing the slamming. he could respect a bloke who had his priorities in order ( even if he couldn’t see it happening for blue’s clues and captain canada ). “ you dog, ” he continued, playfully shoving joe’s shoulder. “ no wonder you’re going with them to look for that stupid axe, you’re trying to get major pipe from the puckheads. ”

glancing sidelong at the canucks in question, kian leaned in close like he was telling a secret, as if it weren’t only just the two of them within earshot. “ i once shagged this guy who played for bristol grammar, yeah ? they have the nicest bums. absolute class ass. ”

#joe.#int.

joecartwright:

it was a well established fact that kian was shameless. but the level of shamelessness needed to oogle lads was a completely alien concept to joe. it was impressive but unfathomable.. or was it. all he needed to do was look at the boys coming back from their morning wash. it wasn’t difficult and he wasn’t going to burst into flames. he sucked in a breath then went for it, taking a quick glance at the sight kian was drinking in. yep, there were definitely saltwater droplets glistening off naked torsos. “yeah, it’s dead unfair.” he mumbled in agreement.“ i don’t get how some of the guys’ abs are so well-defined. you could erm…you could…” he tried to finish his sentence but that train of thought had been completely derailed. he then realised he had an out. he could slightly change the subject by pointed out a fact in a lighthearted way "you hit jackpot in the genetic lottery too, you know.“

-

“ you could bounce a coin off them and watch 'em jiggle ? ” kian finished his sentence for him, nibbling on his bottom lip. “ grate cheese on them ? use them as a washboard for your clothes? yeah. ” he sighed. yeah, you really could. shit, he shouldn’t be thinking about this for too long, or he’d definitely be having some oddly explicit dreams about mermen with stone-cut abs and fish penises. he also did not want to think about having explicit dreams about mermen with stone-cut abs and fish penises. instead, he turned to joe with a cheeky smile, brows jumping in amusement. “ are you saying you think i’m sexy, joseph ? ” he teased. “ who would’ve guessed bristol babes were your type. ”

#joe.#int.

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