Also when the two weeks of freetime at the cottage are over Shane drives him to the airport and fuck they should've kissed more bc now they are in the parking lot and yes it isn't super busy but there are people around and fuck Shane didn't think about not being able to have a proper goodbye kiss.
Ilya doesn't leave the car right away so now they sit in silence.
They had these big plans now, they had said they love each other, they were boyfriends.
But this still feels like something is slipping through Ilyas fingers.
What if it was all just something that'll stay in these two perfect summer weeks? What if they were just something in the cottage?
"So uh... you could text me. When you land."
Shane's looking out of the front, frowning.
"Yes."
"Or call. You could call."
And- Ilya closes his eyes and tries to find the brave version of himself that was honest with Shane and with himself these last fourteen days. The version that was a boyfriend now.
"I think I prefer calling. But when I'm home. Alone"
Shane started to nod along as he spoke and then says "yeah, yes. Good thinking."
"Calling will be better and worse probably. Will make the missing each other worse, yes?"
And that makes Shane finally look at him. First surprised, then happy and resigned as he lets his head fall agaist his headrest, lips pushed to the side.
"We can't kiss goodbye."
And Ilya hears what he means. It's not to remind him of that fact, its a regret.
"No." But he takes Shane's hand and squeezes it.
"I want to, though."
And he loves that Shane clarifies it. Even though he got it it's nice to be reasured.
"Me too."
Shane nods then. Once- as if he tells himself ok, enough.
And Ilya is almost not strong enough to resist kissing his hand. Almost.
"I love you."
Fuck. Almost.
"I love you too."
"See you in around four weeks?"
"Hmmm, yes. When we beat you."
"In your dreams." with a grin.
"And when we face time."
Another nod, another soft smile "Yes."
"And after we beat you, you bring the glasses."
"Wow." Shane laughs and shakes his head
"Is my reward!"
"Fine." Another chuckle, then "What do I get if we win."
And Ilya snorts and opens the car door "Mh, sure. We think of something if that happens, yes? We can look at real estate or something to get you off."
Shane narrows his eyes but the grin on his face is barely being suppressed "Your plane's leaving."
"Bye, Shane."
A beat, a breath, a nod.
"Goodbye Ilya."













