The pokemon ick one has be cryingđ its so accurate its not even funny anymore
Genuinely you clocked their shit
Anon you don't wanna know how long I spent digging through reddit and tiktok reading the most DIABOLICAL icks men have done, I was literally laughing my ass off while writing these hcs đđ
Tags: various x gn!reader (separate), author regrets nothing, suggestive in red's part, lowk not proofread
A/N: idk man this just randomly came to me. Uhhh enjoy reading ig
BLUE/GARY OAK
Ultimate mansplainer 1000000. Will over-explain every small thing even if you're knowledgeable about said topic
Hogs the bathroom for 2 hours minimum, he's too busy trying to aurafarm infront of the mirror
Once found the black pill side of the internet and was dead serious about looksmaxxing for about 2 months before you told him it was corny
RED
Wears his cap backwards, one moment you could be gushing over how cool he looks in battle then in the next, the butterfrees in your stomach are squashed as he turns his cap back to 'lock in'
Never talks (duh) but snores like a middle-aged dad, you've tried using nasal strips on him but they always come off somehow
Absolutely cannot unhook a bra, you both could be 20 minutes deep into a steamy makeout session and he ruins the mood by continuously struggling with the bra clasp
CORBEAU
Lies about his height on every dating app profile he's ever had
Uses way too much cologne, it stinks up every lift and office room he enters
Wears socks with flip-flops whenever he goes to the beach because he dislikes getting sand inbetween his toes
RAIHAN
Manspreads, this bastard is well over 190cm tall and still has the audacity to take up atleast 3 seats on any mode of public transport
Keeps you waiting during meal-times because he's busy taking photos of the food to upload on instagram
Scratches his ass in public, he's not subtle about it either. You can visibly see him reach into his pants and really dig at the itch
LEON
Does not shower after going to the gym (bonus points, he tries hugging you while still covered in sweat and germs)
Uses three-in-one shampoo despite being rich
Applies chapstick weirdly, he holds it like a dumbbell and spreads it around his lips in a circle
Yâknow how thereâs âKiss, kiss, fall in loveâ? Weâll have you ever considered a âKiss, kiss, fail in loveâ situation? I just think it would be funny for ppl to stumble with no grace into love
Anon you may be onto something đ also very smart title change I see what you did there, I like the trope where you have two people being absolute idiots in love it's so funny and cute imo đ
Summary: pokĂŠmon boys and where they like to kiss you!
Tags: various x gn!reader (separate), lowkey suggestive in one part, implied chubby reader, established relationship, fluff, short blurbs bc I'm DEEP in the trenches, names in bold and caps means they are the most likely to do this (imo)
A/N: been grinding on PLZA for the past few months and now I have the fattest crush on Grisham
Forehead!
Simple but gets the point across, especially when you both happen to be busy. However, his kisses feel more like hard smacks to your forehead rather than a loving display of affection because of how over-enthusiastic he gets when he sees you. Sometimes when heâs feeling extra needy, heâll squish your cheeks together and kiss the living hell out of your entire face with an exaggerated âmwahâ sound for that dramatic effect.
Ash, Emmet, ADAMAN, Hop, LEON
Lips!
A classic, one could describe your boyfriend as a hopeless romantic if he prefers this type of kiss. Whether it be a chaste peck before rushing off to work or a deep and sensual one while youâre both tangled in each otherâs embrace, your boyfriend absolutely turns into a pile of mush once your lips meet his. Just make sure to find a private space before the makeout session or else his poor pokĂŠmon will end up walking in on you both again.
GRISHAM, Sycamore, GRIMSLEY, Piers (please tell me you see the vision), Steven Stone
Neck!
You bagged a cheeky fellow it seems! One kiss from him never fails to leave you a flustered mess, and he knows that. The bastard loves to exploit that weakness of yours (in a good way, most of the time). The thing about his kisses is that youâll never see them coming, you could be peacefully minding your own business one moment and in the next, heâll sneak up and give your neck a playful nibble.
CORBEAU, Raihan, Wallace, VOLO, Grimsley
Tummy!
It doesnât matter whether youâve got any chub or not, your boyfriend here does not discriminate. Youâre now officially his personal pillow. Heâs tired? Heâll rest on your tummy. He lost a battle? Heâll rest on your tummy (and make you give him kisses). Youâre feeling insecure about your body image? No problem, heâll rest on your tummy and pepper it with tons of kisses because you deserve the whole world in his eyes.
GUZMA, Ingo, IVOR, Piers, Raihan
Hands!
Being the gentleman he is, itâs your boyfriendâs go-to option for when he wants to show you some affection. It is also proven to be very effective at chasing off anyone hitting on you (though you suspect itâs mainly because of how intimidating he is). Bonus points if he starts leaving behind a few fleeting kisses on your wrist before nuzzling his cheek into your palm for good measure. (He might also bite your fingers if heâs feeling a bit mean but itâs just to tease you.)
N, STEVEN STONE, Lysandre, Cyrus, PHILIPPE, Grisham
Credits: dividers by @/enchanthings, icons found on pinterest
Do not plagarise, copy, steal, or feed my work into AI. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!
Summary: pokĂŠmon boys and where they like to kiss you!
Tags: various x gn!reader (separate), lowkey suggestive in one part, implied chubby reader, established relationship, fluff, short blurbs bc I'm DEEP in the trenches, names in bold and caps means they are the most likely to do this (imo)
A/N: been grinding on PLZA for the past few months and now I have the fattest crush on Grisham
Forehead!
Simple but gets the point across, especially when you both happen to be busy. However, his kisses feel more like hard smacks to your forehead rather than a loving display of affection because of how over-enthusiastic he gets when he sees you. Sometimes when heâs feeling extra needy, heâll squish your cheeks together and kiss the living hell out of your entire face with an exaggerated âmwahâ sound for that dramatic effect.
Ash, Emmet, ADAMAN, Hop, LEON
Lips!
A classic, one could describe your boyfriend as a hopeless romantic if he prefers this type of kiss. Whether it be a chaste peck before rushing off to work or a deep and sensual one while youâre both tangled in each otherâs embrace, your boyfriend absolutely turns into a pile of mush once your lips meet his. Just make sure to find a private space before the makeout session or else his poor pokĂŠmon will end up walking in on you both again.
GRISHAM, Sycamore, GRIMSLEY, Piers (please tell me you see the vision), Steven Stone
Neck!
You bagged a cheeky fellow it seems! One kiss from him never fails to leave you a flustered mess, and he knows that. The bastard loves to exploit that weakness of yours (in a good way, most of the time). The thing about his kisses is that youâll never see them coming, you could be peacefully minding your own business one moment and in the next, heâll sneak up and give your neck a playful nibble.
CORBEAU, Raihan, Wallace, VOLO, Grimsley
Tummy!
It doesnât matter whether youâve got any chub or not, your boyfriend here does not discriminate. Youâre now officially his personal pillow. Heâs tired? Heâll rest on your tummy. He lost a battle? Heâll rest on your tummy (and make you give him kisses). Youâre feeling insecure about your body image? No problem, heâll rest on your tummy and pepper it with tons of kisses because you deserve the whole world in his eyes.
GUZMA, Ingo, IVOR, Piers, Raihan
Hands!
Being the gentleman he is, itâs your boyfriendâs go-to option for when he wants to show you some affection. It is also proven to be very effective at chasing off anyone hitting on you (though you suspect itâs mainly because of how intimidating he is). Bonus points if he starts leaving behind a few fleeting kisses on your wrist before nuzzling his cheek into your palm for good measure. (He might also bite your fingers if heâs feeling a bit mean but itâs just to tease you.)
N, STEVEN STONE, Lysandre, Cyrus, PHILIPPE, Grisham
Credits: dividers by @/enchanthings, icons found on pinterest
Do not plagarise, copy, steal, or feed my work into AI. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!
in which : your boyfriend gets jealous when you flirt with another guy during a mission (re: blade is salty asf)
honeytrap [noun]: a stratagem in which a person entices another person into revealing information or doing something unwise.
wc: 2k, established relationship, stalking (itâs blade lol), reader is a tease #hellyeah, skinship bcus he canât help but be touchy when heâs jealous (source: i said so). art by @/guaisanmu on x.
in celebration of blade n kafka x fortnite collab ig.
when blade first heard about the mission you were assigned, he showed no obvious interest. no questions asked, not even a glance in your direction. which, if anything, made you more suspicious.
after all, he had a (terrible) tendency to âcoincidentallyâ appear on nearly every assignment of yours, regardless of how often you insisted he stay behind.
for once, he compliedâbegrudgingly, but still. he stayed put, just like you asked.Â
that much is true.
right up until kafka casually mentioned, almost offhandedly, that sheâd seen you with dan heng earlier.
does that explain why he was now stationed on the opposite side of the cafe you and dan heng were seated at?
maybe.Â
but itâs okay, he justifies to no one in particular. it's perfectly fine as long as you donât notice him. he needs to make sure you are doing your job properly, is all.
from his hiding spot behind the wall, he sees you invite dan heng to tea under the pretense of a friendly conversation; wearing the guise of a traveling merchant, you chat enthusiastically with him about trivial matters, your tone disarmingly harmless as you subtly pried for information on the astral express.Â
âso the express usually stops by this area for repairs?â you ask, idly stirring your tea. âmust be hard to maintain such a big train while traveling.â
he watches as dan heng hesitates before answering, clearly weighing how much to share.
your eyes lit up at his explanations, your head tilting in that familiar way, so similar to the expression you wear on the rare occasions blade speaks about his day.
blade folds his arms and leans against the wall, his gaze never leaving you. from this angle, he can see the way you smile patiently at dan heng, gently coaxing words out of him.
he knows this is all for the sake of the mission, but it still rubs him the wrong way to see you act so close with someone else, especially dan heng, of all people. (not like heâd ever admit that to you though.)
couldnât you have chosen the trailblazer instead? why did it have to be dan heng? the more he thinks about it, the darker his expression grows, a faint scowl forming as his fingers dig into the rough surface of the wallâ
âah,â an elderly voice chuckles from behind him, amused. âadmiring the young couple, are you? they certainly look good together.â
when blade gives no response, the old man follows his line of sight, glancing between you and dan heng. âyou know them?â
âtheyâre my loverâ, he wants to say; but he swallows the voice down, and stays fixed on the table by the window.
leaning forward across the table, you prop your chin on your hand, nodding along at dan heng occasionally. and as if heâs examining you under a microscope, bladeâs eyes narrow slightly at your every movement.Â
itâs not anger, not quiteâmore of a slow, simmering displeasure. like the faint itch he feels after you bandage his wounds. not unbearable, but all the more aggravating and impossible to ignore.
as if to rub salt into said wound, you reach your hand out, thumb brushing lightly against the corner of dan hengâs mouth, wiping away the faint trace of tea from his lips. the gesture looks to be intimate from your boyfriendâs vantage point, though you probably have no idea.
dan heng freezes. his eyes flicker wide for a fraction of a second before he looks away, ears faintly tinted red. even the old man beside blade canât hide his reaction, letting out a quiet whistle, âyoung love these days.â
âŚ
so far, youâre doing well.
your soft smiles and carefully chosen words has dan heng lowering his guard, answering your questions more freely than before.
but he doesnât like how well itâs working.
he doesnât like that youâre laughing at dan hengâs unfunny remarks (are they even good jokes, or are you just humoring him? whatever it is, it canât be that funny.)
seeing your fond expression aimed at him makes bladeâs chest tighten unpleasantly, it irks him to the point that he blurts outâ
âthey donât look good with him.â the comment slips out in a flat tone, directed to the old manâs previous harmless compliment.
blade imagines you standing beside him instead, fingers intertwined with his, every ounce of your attention focused on him and him alone.
âthey look better with me,â he adds, more so muttering to himself.
the man laughs at his reaction, shaking his head. âah, so youâve got competition, then.â
his jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. competition? what a joke. as if heâd ever allow anyone to take you from him.Â
ââŚdo you feel like weâre being watched?â dan heng asks quietly.
you blink, taken aback by his question. âhuh? by who?â
you follow his earlier line of sight, gaze drifting toward the wall at the end of the street. thereâs nothing thereâat least, nothing anyone else would notice.
but you know better.Â
the faint traces of spider lilies left behind essentially confirms your guess.
and you canât stop the small, mischievous smile tugging at your lips.
the mission wraps up smoothly.
youâre the last to arrive at the gaming cafe, spotting blade leaning against the wall near the entrance while silver wolf is still inside, aggressively mashing buttons at a machine.
âtook you long enough,â the latter mutters without looking away from her screen.
blade says nothing yet his gaze flicks over you once, making sure youâre fine.
normally, heâd turn away after confirming youâre unhurt. today, he doesnât. he pushes off the wall and steps closer instead, close enough that his shadow falls over you.Â
âweâre meeting kafka and firefly at the shopping channel,â you say, stepping closer. âtheyâre finished too.â
silver wolf finally wins her round. âugh fine. but iâm not carrying the bags.â
bladeâs hand hovers at the small of your backâ
âyo.â silver wolf leans over your shoulder, oblivious to whatâs going on, her chin brushing your shoulder as she squints at whateverâs in your hands.
âbefore it drops back to his side.
silver wolf straightens. âyou good?â she asks, tapping your arm lightly. âyou froze for like, two seconds.â
âyup, im fine.â
you are absolutely not fine.
out of the corner of your eye, you see blade turn around a little too quickly, like heâs suddenly very interested in anything that isnât youâconveniently avoiding silver wolfâs narrowing, suspicious stare.
he rubs the back of his neck, and now you canât stop imagining what mightâve happened if silver wolf had shown up just two seconds later.
the streetâs lively, bright lights reflecting off storefront glass. silver wolf skips ahead, hands stuffed in her pockets, rambling about her new console game while you trail behind with blade.
things are quiet between you two, which is unusual since youâre normally the talkative one. but your mind keeps drifting back to earlier; he rarely initiates kisses, so the thought of it now leaves you surprised and honestly, a little giddy.
he shifts slightly, and you notice him starting to take off his coat. âoh, iâm not coldââ
in one smooth motion, blade pulls off his coat and instead of draping it over your shoulders, it lands squarely over silver wolfâs head.
ââwhat theâ?!â
you hear her exclaim in the background but your attention snaps back to your boyfriend almost instantly.
he uses the brief distraction to pull you close, one hand sliding to your waist, the other steady at your back. you barely get a word out before he leans down and kisses you.
âwhy is it darkâget this offââ
blade pulls back just enough to let you breathe, but his forehead stays pressed to yours.
âmissed you,â he whispers.
people usually exaggerate this part in dramas, but somehow, you can actually feel your heart skip a beat.
the moment is abruptly broken when silver wolf finally wriggles free, gasping, half-annoyed. she stops dead in her tracks, staring at the two of you, before recoiling dramatically.
âew!â she yelps, making an exaggerated gagging motion. âcanât you guys do that somewhere private?!â
you step back quickly, flustered at being caught by your colleague.
blade, however, seems completely unfazed. he takes his coat back from her and slings it over his shoulders with a casual shrug.
silver wolf groans, making another retching noise, and storms ahead. âiâm telling kafka!â
blade doesnât even flinch at her half-hearted threat, which elicits a giggle out from you. he glances down and you catch the faintest hint of satisfaction lingering in his eyes.
this time, he doesnât let too much distance form between you as you continue walking.
on your shared bed, your boyfriend lies flat on his back, and you settle yourself atop his lower abdomen.
âblade⌠i didnât know you read,â you tease.
a rhetorical statement, of courseâyouâve never seen this man pick up a book in his free time, not even once.
âwhy are you ignoring me?â you press, tilting your head and leaning just enough to peek over the top of his book. âarenât you the one who said you missed me?â
you tap the edge of the book with your index finger, nudging it down toward him.
he swallows, adamâs apple bobbing, and looks away; revealing the top of his ears just barely reddening under his hair.
â...are you done?â
you ignore his attempt to act indifferent, changing the topic.
ây'know⌠i have to say, you must be a real genius to make sense of all those words.â
before he can even ask what you mean by that, you reach over and flip the book upside down (or rather, right-side-up).Â
"really?"
"..."
itâs not like blade usually pulls stunts like this, you know heâs never been good at putting his feelings into words. but at least he makes them known to you. somewhat.
youâve gotten good at reading his hints, though really⌠who could possibly miss them? heâs surprisingly so easy to fluster when it comes to you, even when he tries to hide it, itâs written all over him. only someone dense as a brick would fail to notice.
but you feign ignorance even now, its nice to hear him admit it himself once in a while.Â
âis this because youâre jealous of dan heng?â
for the briefest moment, he visibly stiffens. ah. so it is about earlier.
he blinks, gaze traveling slowly from your thighs straddling his lap to your face, taking in every detail as if savoring the view.
âand you still decide to mention his name?â
he doesn't miss the small tug of your lips at his admission. he continues, âthen, did your hard work pay off?â
âactually⌠he already found out a while ago.â
âgood,â he says immediately, a not-so-subtle satisfaction threading through his tone. âso he knows youâre mine.â
âyes yes, but thatâs not really the pointââ
he buries his head in your shoulder, almost nuzzling into your neck. and you canât help but think heâs just like a black cat staking its claim on its owner.Â
âahem, what iâm trying to say is⌠i got the info we needed in the end thanks to a source dan heng gave me.â
his hand slides along your side before his lips press against your neck, hair brushing softly against your skin.
you roll your eyes, fully aware he hasnât been paying attention to your words at all.
instead, he seems far more interested in the way you reactâhow your shoulders tense when he decides to press a deep kiss under your ear, and how your breath hitches while you stubbornly bite your lip.
the book lies forgotten at the edge of the bed, its pages crumpled where it had been carelessly set aside.
whatever pretense heâd had of reading is long gone now as his fingers curl a little more firmly at your waist, thumb tracing idle patterns against the fabric there as though committing the shape of you to memory.
a faint, smug hum vibrates against your skin. so much for pretending the effect you have on him doesn't work just as well on you.
he still wonât admit it outright; but the little quirk of his lips, the subtle flush at his earsâŚÂ
those will have to keep you satisfied for now.
obligatory smau section (click in for full screenshot)
dh pov once he finds out abt your relationship w blade:
(d*n h**g is like a trigger word for ur bf plz dont mention it around him again)
discoholicmusic
germansingergirl
dededos
romaincrisis
stormborns
turnnoffyourmind
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
titsay
andulkaphoto
