Journey & Thoughts Written...

IG: killawes92

[killawes92-blog]

First Paycheck...Goes To Family

I just recently got my first paycheck from my first corporate job.

First of all, I must say, it feels pretty damn good getting payed from a legit “adult” job coming out of college hahaha. Like most of my older friends would agree, who work at a corporate job, they probably can attest to a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, knowing that this is another first step into a post-college life.

So it’s a Korean tradition for one to give their first job paycheck to their parents.

 After realizing, FOR THE PAST 23 YEARS, how much time and money that my parents invested into me, I’m super honored and proud that I somehow got to repay them for their effort. 

After my first day of work, I realized that I can never get the amount of time I used to have, especially looking back at my times in college. There’s no such thing as spring break or winter break for me anymore. This all just makes it extremely difficult to visit my family and friends back in Georgia. Realizing this made me pretty sad. Makes me regret the times I had the chance to spend more time with my family.

MORAL OF THE STORY

When you got the time, spend more of it w/ your family. Make it count, especially if you're gonna be going far away for work, college, etc..... A usual adult life doesn't really give you that chance. Sadly, when that begins, you begin to worry about yourself the most (how you’ll pay rent, eat, get a promotion, go an a date, etc).

And don't forget your roots....remember who took care of you from the very first breath you took.

[killawes92-blog]

I'm not gonna release my prelim footage just because it was that bad haha! Still got a lot to learn about rocking but like I said, I was looking forward to getting burned and humbled. Thank you Freestyle Session and UDEF! #freestylesession #rocking #bboy #udef #la (at La Boom Night Club)

[killawes92-blog]

Life Update (November)

Goodness gracious, it’s already November.

I’ve officially been in California for about a month now, WOWZER!!!

CAREER

So for some reason....I STILL CAN’T FIND A DAMN JOB T_T

Im being pressured even more from my family.

“Have you found one yet?” “Are you looking at the right places?” “What are you going to do if you can’t find one?” “Make sure to come up with a back-up plans.”

Of course this isn’t helping me at all, but only putting more doubt and fear to my mind.

The good news is, Im waiting on a 2nd interview for a full-time job. Im suppose to get a phone call by the end of the week. I want this job really bad....I think I’m just super desperate at this point haha

DANCE

This coming Sunday, I’ll be competing at one of the biggest international competition, Freestyle Session. Im so hyped and so scared at the same time. I’m ready to put my name out here in the West Coast dance community.

B.Boy Anonymous (UCI) has been nothing but an awesome dance community for me. Super thankful for them for making me feel like family.

CHURCH

Still find myself not being able to commit and really be a part of the church. Since I don't have a job yet, a lot of my time goes into job searching. And, God-willing, hopefully I won't be leaving Cali if I can't find anything.

[killawes92-blog]

Consistent Reminder For The Struggles (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I’d like to say this is “the story of my life” but that’s ignorant to say. Everyone struggles. It’s inevitable. Like everyone else says, “That’s life.”

Especially when you believe in a higher power, like for God instance, you question the path that he set for you. You want to believe there is a purpose and reason for the things that are happening to you, especially the “bad” stuff.

There’s really not much to say except you gotta be able to pull through to the end..

Now at this point, everyone asks themselves...

“When is this going to end?”

Honestly, no one knows....EXCEPT God.

Everyone has their own timing. God created us individually, in a unique way. It would be a shame if he created us all the same.

Anyone would put themselves in the situation where they feel like they’re the victim...to feel that they don't deserve the things that are happening to them.

Honestly, at this point in my life, I like to think you’re just wasting your time and missing out. Because no matter what you do, problems and struggles just don't go away in a blink of an eye.

From my own past experiences, there was always something to be learned...something for us to grow from, mentally and spiritually.

I think we should look through the struggles to find the answer, instead of figuring out a way to get out of the struggles ASAP, without gaining anything.

I strongly believe that through it all, God will provide with something absolutely extraordinary, something we can’t even fathom and comprehend. It’s happened before, God did provide..... So I can't even deny him. Hold fast on to him brothers and sisters...

One last thing I wanna say is that the struggles are a good reminder to be humble...to remind us that we’re no better than God or anyone else on earth. We al need God in the desperate times. It reminds us that we are never truly in control over our lives and that God plays the biggest factor, if anything.

P.S. this is just me ranting, popping out anything that comes out of my head.

Current struggle: Finding a damn job T_T A lot of prayers needed. Thanks everyone!

[killawes92-blog]

And I must be out of my mind LOL,

but no better place to start my rocking career

[killawes92-blog]

Life Update (October)

LA/Orange County/Irvine

What can I say? I love this place haha. It’s everything that I expected it to be. Awesome food, beautiful people (haha, its true)....

Career

Aint gonna lie, this part has been pretty stressful so far. I’ve sent a bajillion applications everywhere around SoCal. So far, I haven't received any responses from the companies and agencies that I’ve wanted to work for. Im hoping to find something by the end of month.  And here I thought LA was suppose to be the place where “dreams come true” haha. Just gotta keep looking

Dance

I’ve been going out to B-Boy Anonymous (BBA), which is UCI’s bboy club. Met some dope dancers there, and they’re all pretty chill, very welcoming. The only part that sucks is that I gotta pay $5 everytime I go. Its not a lot but it does get expensive if I were to go 2 times a week (about $30-40 a month).

Im super excited to go to Freestyle Session in November. This is probably one of the biggest and notorious b-boy competition in the world. Still debating whether I’ll be competing in the rocking battles. Im just excited to meet all the international pro bboys there.

I definitely wanna look into a crew or dance group to join into later in the future. But right now, all my time goes into looking for a job haha.

Church

The good news is I think I finally found a church. Went to one other church for the past 2 week but I just recently went to Onnuri Irvine Church this past Sunday. I loved it! The church seems to be teaching The Word within the right context, and whats even better is that they seem to have a strong community, especially the YA’s (young adults).

The bad news, I guess, is that Im not sure how much I would like to really get involved with the church. If you know, Im not the type of person to shy away from actually getting involved within the church, whether it be helping the worship team or the youth and college group.  But depending on where I get a job, I don't even know if I’ll be close enough to go to the church. This sucks a lot cause I really want to get involved with the church and its community, so that I can grow and so can the church. Quite the dilemma....

I think I'm gonna try to post a “Life Update” twice a month, just so I can write more and not bother you guys with my trivial life matters haha.

Thanks!

[killawes92-blog]

Challenge For The Week

“The first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day is to have my soul happy in the Lord.”

George Muller

To start off each morning, finding comfort and peace, NOT through what the world has to offer (friends, family, materialistic objects), BUT through the One who has shown infinite amount of love and grace since the beginning. 

I think its very easy for us to start each day looking forward to finding a sense of belonging, success, or happiness, whether its through our career, friends and family, or our passions. But we should be seeking all that from God first, no? I mean, he is the one who knows all about you, from the inside out? Where, what, or who else could we possibly to turn to start off our day, the right way?

Acquired from Sunday sermon at Onnuri Irvine Church

[killawes92-blog]

Hip-Hop Church?

Is it weird to say that every time I go to a b-boy jam, session, party (etc.), I feel like I’m at church?

So I’ve been b-boying for about 8 years now, and throughout that time, I been to many different hip-hop dance events all around the world and I got to meet so many different types of people, of different ages, gender, and ethnicity.

Each time I come out of  a jam or competition in a new state or country, I always gain dance experience, new friends, and happiness. Let me explain one of my experiences...

So I went to Korea last year for study abroad. Honestly studying in Korea was a good excuse for me to go, dance, and train with all the pro bboys that were there. In Korea, I had the opportunity to go to Floor Gangz 10th Anniversary B-boy Jam. A really well known international b-boy crew was celebrating their 10th anniversary of being a crew together and they decided to throw a 3-day jam/festival, full of workshops, interviews, and competition. This jam brought so many people from different countries to celebrate with them. I got to meet b-boys from Australia, U.K., Japan, and Singapore.

Everytime I go to events like these, I come out amazed and overwhelmed. I tell myself, “Wow, I just made a ton of new friends. Everyone was so chill and so nice. Even though non of us knew each other at first, this thing called hip-hop brought us all together so that we can vibe off of each other and grow.” You wanna know whats really interesting? All these new friends I’ve made from all over the world have all offered me a place to stay if I ever was to come to their country. Honestly, who does that, for a complete stranger they only got to know in 3 days?

Anyways, all of this reminds me of how church is very similar to my own experiences with hip-hop and b-boying.

Like church and b-boying...

You meet different types of people

Multicultural, differing ages and gender.

People are very welcoming, although they don't know who you are.

Based on common goals/interest (God or dance), you grow w/ others, personally or spiritually.

People seek and yearn for their place/community to grow.

There are times where if I had to pick which one would I rather go to more, I’d rather pick the b-boy gatherings. Why?

People judge you based on your dance, they look past all the bullshit, drama, and your flaws. There’s nothing really to be hypocritical about.

Sometimes I feel more welcomed than the people I meet at church.

There are times when I think the church can learn a little something from the b-boy culture.

I only feel this way when Im having a rough time at church and the people,  BUT in the end, church is still church. I still go because I know I need God. I need him to humble me, to save me, to give me energy, and so on and so forth... No person in the world can actually give me true love and comfort that God can only provide! Amen to that!

I’d like to remind everyone that Im speaking from my own personal experience w/ going to church and meeting other Christians. Some of you might have a hard time relating w/ this.... Some of you might be able to relate to one of them, or both!

Hope you enjoy this read! Thank you!

[killawes92-blog]

Intro; New Beginning!

Waddup everyone? Thanks for checking out my Tumblr and having the interest to see how my life goes on!

So the purpose of this Tumblr is for me to share w/ you all about my new journey, here in LA, and to share just some of thoughts and thinking that go around in my head. 

I’ll be posting about........well, LIFE, through:

my career

my dance journey

my walk w/ Christ

life as an adult (keep forgetting Im not in college anymore =P)

Through these posts about my life, I hope to:

have people understand me (without indirectly wanting to actually get to know me, personally and in-person.

it makes me sad that, in this generation, people would rather learn about other, indirectly through gossip and secondary sources.

I’ve never been shy about sharing my life, especially with what God has done for me in my life.

Share w/ everyone what God does for me in my life...

both blessings and struggles

probably more struggles haha

and through that, hopefully bring encouragement to others that go through the same discouragement, situation

In this blog, I’m going to do my very best to be very honest and genuine. Im gonna try not to sugar-coat my thoughts. Some posts might be very positive and some might be very negative.  This blog is not for the faint of hearts haha! So that don't be surprised if there’s curse words here and there. Im just writing down what comes out of my mind. 

So....if you’re still interested, please follow me on Tumblr as I hope to continually share w/ my friends and family!

Oh and don't be afraid to submit any questions (serious questions, please, foreal), about religion, Christianity, bboying, dance, etc...

Thanks, and peace and love to you all! =D