seren ✶·˳

ᥫ᭡ 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 !

[killedpink]

⋆｡୨୧˚ minho + jisung lover ^_^ ( infp . she/they ) ♡ masterlist — [NSFW blog] !

recent work : reflecting light ( lee minho )

❕this blog is closed

🗯 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆. 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟖𝐒 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐃𝐍𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 𝐈 𝐏𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆, 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑨𝑹𝑬 𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑷𝑶𝑵𝑺𝑰𝑩𝑳𝑬 𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑴𝑬𝑫𝑰𝑨 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵.

[killedpink]

probably just sending this into the void, but this blog is closed. i put it down in 2023 because i fell out of kpop for a hot minute. looking back at my old writing is so painful hehe. thanks to everyone who supported me and gave me kindness, i really needed it at the time LOL. i’ll leave everything up though >,< ty for the memories <3

[lix-ables]

SEASON ONE : KINKTOBER 𖤐

⚠️THIS SEASON CONTAINS SMUT

NOW PLAYING : SEASON ONE : KINKTOBER. for this collection, each episode (thirst) will be released featuring your favourite actor (idol). thank you for booking the premiere tickets !!

NOTE. please keep in mind that this season features SKZ. the actors may or may not change during the follow up season. warnings will be added to each episode.

SEASON ONE ... KINKTOBER

[EP 01] BRAT TAMING + CHAN

[EP 02] ORAL FIXATION + CHANGBIN

[EP 03] ORGASM CONTROL + SEUNGMIN

[EP 04] SIZE KINK, SPANKING + HYUNJIN

[EP 05 ] OVERSTIMULATION + LEE KNOW (BUNNY!GF)

[EP 06] DILF CHAN, DADDY KINK

[EP 07] EDGING + JISUNG

[EP 08] THREESOME, MEANDOM!SEUNGMIN + SOFTDOM!CHAN

[EP 09] DEVOTION KINK + CHAN (WORSHIPPING)

[EP 10] BREEDING + SEUNGMIN

[EP 11] OVERSTIMULATION + CHAN

[EP 12] THROAT TRAINING + SEUNGMIN

[EP 13] FIRST TIME + LEE KNOW

[EP 14] SUGAR DADDY CHAN ( DADDY KINK, EXPERIMENTATION )

[EP 15] VOYEURISM + HAN JISUNG

[EP 16] STRENGTH KINK + CHANGBIN

[EP 17] FACE SITTING + HYUNJIN

[EP 18] THIGH RIDING + LEE KNOW

[EP 19] CHOKING + JISUNG

[EP 20] PET PLAY + LEE KNOW (KITTY!GF)

[EP 21] BDSM + SWITCH!JEONGIN (BONDAGE)

[EP 22] EXHIBITIONISM + FELIX

[EP 23] DUMBIFICATION + JEONGIN

[EP 24] CORRUPTION + LEE KNOW

[EP 25] FACE SITTING + HYUNJIN

[EP 26] SENSORY DEPRIVATION, PHONE SEX + FELIX

[EP 27] BREEDING + CHAN

[EP 28] THREESOME, SUB!FELIX + SUB!JISUNG

[EP 29] CHOKING, FINGERING + JEONGIN

[EP 30] DILF CHANGBIN, OVERSTIMULATION

[EP 31] THREESOME, MINHO + JISUNG

taglist : @oo-li @lovemollywho @telesvng @savedbystay @unsteady-trashcan @zaddywilk @comet-falls @end0rchans

© lix-ables. translating and/or reposting is not allowed.

SEASON TWO : DESTROY DICK DECEMBER

(coming soon)

[jjsungie]

sheep haired quokka

[j-0ne25]

KIWI — [18+!]

“Can you… cuddle me to sleep, please?”

His head snaps up to you, “Y/N… I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m gonna sleep outside, okay?”

You’re the one to wrap their fingers around his wrist now, pulling him towards the van. “Nooo, it’s too cold. You’re gonna get sick. Stay a little longer?”

He sighs, “Okay.”

🥝 SYNOPSIS: After graduating from college, you decide to travel around New Zealand and celebrate your freedom. But when you buy a van for the journey, the salesman scams you, selling the exact same car to both you and another person who’s no other than your childhood best friend you haven’t seen in years—and still have a huge crush on…

This is my entry for @skzwritingcafe 's July/August event “Summertime Confessions”! (I am a little over the deadline but still wanted to post this since the event inspired me to pick up this WIP again)

🌴 CONTENT INFO: chan x afab reader, dj chan, childhood friends to enemies to lovers, travel au, only one bed trope, fluff/angst/smut, mutual pining, based on a dream I had about my childhood best friend whose name happens to be felix but I changed this story to chan lmao, prices for cars might be unrealistic but a) i don’t own a car and b) i don’t know that much about new zealand’s economy (i did research tho!!), warnings and smut tags under the cut

🛻 WORD COUNT: 12.0K

🗺️ CONTENT WARNING: alcohol consumption (also includes excessive consumption once as well as mention of underage drinking in the past), short mention of breakup, scam/fraud, jealousy (both chan and reader), reader once calls chan daddy but sarcastically and non-sexually lmao

🧩 SMUT: dom/sub dynamics, fingering, oral (f receiving), semi-protected sex, choking, spanking, creampie, name calling (doll, dear, slut, good girl)

The characters do not portray any of the skz members in real life, the names are just used for fiction. Minors do not interact, this post contains mature topics. By reading you consent to nsfw content and agree that you have read all the warnings above carefully.

Well. That’s a bumpy journey so far. What a start.

A drink spilled all over your shirt, crumbs of crisps in your hair and a bruise on your knee. And if this isn’t already too much for your stressed out and anxious heart—the man you’ve never ever expected to see again stands right in front of you.

But let’s start again from the beginning and how you ended up here. A quick recap, shall we?

Exactly one week and three days ago you finally graduated from college. Hard work pays off—more or less—and since your new full time job will start in a month, you finally have a little bit of vacation in what feels like years. 

So, that’s how you found yourself spontaneously booking a flight to Auckland, ready to spend some time and money traveling through New Zealand’s nature and taking in all the landscapes you’ve dreamt about. You just need this—need to do something different before you will actually start being an adult and drown in boring everyday life.

The flight went quite well but the airport you arrived at was a disaster—due to many delays of other connections you had to wait for your huge backpack for a few hours, totally exhausted and tired from the trip. The hostel you have reserved a bed in for your first night is overbooked and now you have to share the room with ten other people. Well, that is a normal hostel situation but you're just too sleepy to deal with anyone right now.

Which is why it’s ironic that you’re out of all places at a club instead. But no matter how tired you are, it was too noisy in the bedroom so you decided to go out again, hoping to get a little more tired so that you will be able to pass out due to exhaustion and fall into a deep slumber once you’re back.

And then the snowball effect hits you—the people in here are already drunk, too drunk, and possibly on other substances and you arrived sober. Spontaneous ideas aren’t your thing and maybe that's why you underestimated that whole scenario.

The music is quite good though and the drinks aren’t expensive as you would have thought—although they are still ridiculously high in alcohol percentage. So, you stick to sipping on one beer throughout your first hour of being here.

Every man inside here seems to pretend he’s in a zoo, hunting for the next woman that accidentally looks in his direction. It’s disgusting, really.

God. This is a very touristy place. Yes, you are a tourist, too. It doesn’t make any sense but you’re not here to make any sense. You’re here to forget about your exhausting travel to Auckland and you’re here to forget about the past two months or rather your whole life.

It’s a shame he’s still under your skin. That stupid ex boyfriend that decided to break up with you during the last week of you writing your thesis. You still managed to finish on time but you’ve been an emotional wreck ever since.

That was a lie. You’ve always been an emotional wreck but you developed to a whole new level.

However—that’s why you’re here now. Ready for a fresh start. Ready to possibly get a little tipsy and enjoy the music. At least the DJ is doing a good job. You seriously would have expected them to play some shitty cheap produced rap music or whatever young people listen to these days.

All those kids from far away that search for the meaning of life after highschool graduation by exploring either New Zealand or Australia—of course, far away from home, thinking they will come back with a whole new personality.

Well… the longer you think about that harsh thesis, the more you realise the irony layered in your thoughts. This might, partly, apply to you too.

Nevertheless, you didn’t come all the way to New Zealand and crossed the Tasman Sea to worry until your last brain cell melts.

You’re here to forget.

You’re here for a fresh start.

Far away from the troubles. Far away from your past. Far away from Sydney.

And everything that connects with this.

Maybe, the best thing is probably to get another drink—which is more than beer—one or two will be enough. After all, you don’t want to get shitfaced on the first night and the hot temperatures will do the rest anyway. You’ve got an important appointment tomorrow and need to appear at your best.

Heading towards the bar, you ignore the comments of the men that get a little annoyed about you pushing them to the side to get to your destination. Maybe they would react differently, if you gently shoved them aside, placing your hand on their lower back or—accidentally, of course—even a little more south.

After all, that’s what they usually do when the roles are reversed, right?

You manage to get to the bar, a little furious and still way too sober, someone’s drink spilled over your shirt and some crisps in your hair, but you waste no time and order your favourite drink.

You rummage around in your little purse, fishing out your wallet. Opening the pocket in which you stow away your coins, your fingers stumble across a shimmering object.

You’re not surprised. Yes, even after all these years you still have that necklace, carrying it with you wherever you go. You wonder if the magnet still works, if the charm would connect to its opposite one—the one that is owned by someone else. Of course, in case that person hasn’t thrown their necklace away yet. Which you’re convinced they have.

An hour and two drinks in, you’re hovering over the dance floor, still very much enjoying the great choice of music until the unexpected happens.

You take a closer look at the DJ, deeply mesmerised by his skills—when it clicks.

It’s him.

It’s really him.

The one and only Christopher Bang.

He looks so different but he also looks the same. His dimples are visible even in the dim light of the club. He wears his hair curly and black again—he used to straighten it a lot back then and occasionally get it bleached with your help. His face is filled with some piercings, his arms are decorated with tattoos.

His… wow. His arms.

Going to the gym and swimming must pay off.

But the worst part is…

You believe you’re gonna fall for him all over again.

And then his gaze meets yours.

Fuck.

You should have been more careful. Pretending this didn’t happen, you focus on the drink in your hand, watching the ice cubes swirl around when you stir the straw.

Until the unexpected happens once again.

He plays your favourite song.

Kiwi. Yes, you were a Harry Styles girl back then and even though eighteen year old Chan was too cool to admit it, he liked his music too.

What you don’t know is that Kiwi is still number one of his most listened songs on Spotify of all time until this day.

2017. Your last year of highschool. You listened to it all the time.

When Chan and you were cramming for your finals. When that guy from your chemistry class broke your heart. When you realised that you’re in love with your best friend.

You’ve always thought the both of you would end up together. Everyone thought so.

It’s an absolute cliché. You met when you were only one year old in kindergarten. Your mothers were best friends, glad about the fact the two of you could grow up together. Of course, they’ve always made some sort of joke about it—how Chan would marry you once you would be older.

For a long time you thought so, too.

He was your first kiss. Rather an experimental one when you were sixteen and just wanted to get it over with.

You had already had a small crush on him at that time and wondered, if he would return those feelings after making out with you. For a second you were so sure about it. You will never forget about the sparkles in his eyes when he let go of you again, lips even puffier than before from all the kissing.

Then he went on a date with Maya and everything went downhill.

That was in eleventh grade. They dated until your last year of highschool while you throughout that time… well, made zero experiences.

However, in eleventh grade as well, Chan started bringing you to Friday evening parties at the nearby beach. The people with you were other students from your year but they were Chan’s friends and not really yours. Those meetings basically only consisted of getting drunk in the sun and moonlight.

Maya was always there, too. For two years. Jealousy was basically eating you alive at that point but you obviously didn’t want to destroy Chan’s relationship. He seemed so happy. He really was. But you weren’t the one responsible for that.

One night at the beach, one of your classmates—Minho—and you got a little closer than planned. He used to be popular for being the typical high school fuckboy, quite known for changing his girlfriends every other week.

Of course, you fell for it, too. You’ve never regretted it. Although losing your virginity to him a week before graduating, right in the open, in the woods near the beach wasn’t the most romantic experience. But he was gentle. He made you feel wanted and loved although he was far from having any serious feelings for you.

But that was okay. You were still in love with Chan anyway.

This whole thing went on until the start of college and during that summer, your back then still best friend caught Minho and you one night.

Maya and him broke up some weeks after graduation since she was about to start studying in Japan and the relationship was basically doomed. There was another reason that you’ve never known about that also caused their bond to crumble.

Chan’s feelings for you.

But, well, it was too late now anyway. Even if there wasn’t Minho, Chan was still about to go to another country as well, leaving you in Sydney.

You get dragged back into reality when the song ends. However, your former best friend is still looking at you—a huge smirk decorating his beautiful face.

It’s an instinct kicking in. Survival mode, if you will. You turn around, almost bumping into a group of guys.

Downing the rest of your drink, you place the empty glass on some random table before making your way out of the building.

The way back to the hostel is a blur. You realise a little late that your eyes are stained with tears, ready to flood down like a waterfall.

You’ve never expected to see him again.

Well, you probably won’t another time after tonight. There’s no way you’re gonna go back into that club again.

🥝

You’ve underestimated the impact of seeing Chan again for a quick second. Your dreams were wild—partly in a bad way, partly in an embarrassing way that you don’t want to think about.

However, the fact that there’s a superstition that says that whatever you dream about when sleeping in a bed for the first time turns into reality, lets the spiral of worrying wander further.

Fuck. All these years in college you thought you were finally over him.

But Chan was your first love. The older you’ve grown, the more you have realised he has always been more than just a crush. 

But well—you missed that chance.

You’re torn between regretting leaving the club so impulsive and being convinced it was the right decision. You could spend the whole day wondering what would have happened if you stayed.

But well—you missed that chance once again.

After putting all your stuff into your huge backpack, you get ready for the day—taking an unfortunate ice cold shower in the shared bathroom and choosing a comfortable outfit—and leave the hostel once you’re ready.

The next bus brings you to a car dealership you made an appointment with online for today.

Because—you of course can’t start a van tour experience without a van, right?

You usually listen to your gut feeling and in at least nine out of ten cases it’s very dependable. However, with all the overthinking going on, your brain decides to ignore the fact that something about this store and the owner in specific feels… off. Quite oddinary.

The vans all look good, especially the emerald coloured one he is currently showing and presenting to you but you really should have spent at least a minute to look into the Google reviews… because they are either bad or fake. But you’re not aware of that.

You need a car anyway, it’ll be fine.

As long as the car functions and doesn’t cost you your whole year’s income, it’ll be okay.

“What do you say?” the salesman asks you, pointing at another vehicle in a similar shade to the previous one.

“Oh, I love the colour. What a beautiful green,” you tell him.

“It is! And it’s pretty spacious although it doesn’t look like it,” he exclaims.

The man walks around the car and opens it with the keys—he realised you seem to prefer this colour and luckily he’s got a few pieces to offer with it.

“What does it include in the price? It seems pretty cheap,” you ask, realising after speaking how negative your words come off.

But you saw a sign that read $ 2750 and fairly speaking—that is not a lot for a vehicle like that. Not even if you consider that it’s secondhand.

“That’s just because of the vehicle’s age,” the man starts explaining. He opens the door on the side completely, showing off the inside. “It has all the necessities. A mattress, enough storage space, a built-in table that you can let down when you open the trunk and it comes with free camping chairs.”

You take your time to examine all the details, checking if everything works fine.

But there doesn’t seem to be a single issue. He allows you to drive for a few minutes, take a short trip through the parking lot and everything is indeed absolutely fine.

There will probably never be a chance like this. You should definitely purchase it.

Or at least your very sad bank account is whispering that to you.

“I’d like to buy this one.”

The salesman brings you back to his little office which takes you at least a five minute walk but you don’t mind. You get that he wants to sell the car first before handing the keys to you.

“$ 2500 and it’s yours,” he offers once you arrive at the destination, lowering the price a little.

And you’re not here to complain.

Oh, Y/N. You should see all those red flags but apparently you’re a little colour blind. Not a surprise, considering that car you’re about to buy is green.

Or is it?

You pick out your wallet to grab your credit card, when you stumble across the magnet necklace again.

After seeing Chan for a brief moment, you start wondering again, if he still owns that necklace or—possibly—even wears it.

Okay. Slow down, Y/N. It’s getting ridiculous and delusional.

The beeping sound of the payment terminal wakes you up again. The salesman hands you the receipt, before grabbing a metallic object that is hanging on the wall behind him.

“Here. The keys for you.”

“Thanks,” you say, giving him a kind smile.

“I have to thank you,” he replies. “I’m off work now, have a safe trip.”

Oh.

Well, you’re probably gonna find your way back to the car, right?

In a parking lot filled with what feels like thousands of vehicles.

The walk back takes you at least fifteen minutes but there’s no need to hurry anyway.

You’ve got your car. You’ve still got enough money. You’ve got a great journey ahead of you. Everything paid off for this moment. You manifested it and now you’re luck is within reach.

Arriving back at near car, you place your huge backpack on the ground for a second in order to grab a thin jacket—it’s gotten a little chilly and you have to adjust things in the new van first, prepare Google Maps and make a general plan before you’re ready to start the adventure.

You close the bag again, before you walk towards the green vehicle.

You walk closer. And even closer.

Until you spot someone behind the car, hovering a big backpack—that isn’t yours—into the trunk.

You check again if it’s indeed your car but from what you can tell it is the one that the salesman showed and—most importantly—sold to you. It’s the same shade of sage, the little lanterns are hanging inside and the mattress has the washed out grey colour from earlier.

It is your car. The keys fit and you remember all the details from half an hour ago.

You unlock the door on the driver’s side and place down your bottle of water, before you carefully lean the huge backpack against the car. The waist bag stays on, the little keychain with the kiwi dangling around.

“Oh, what a surprise.”

Oh, God.

No.

That is impossible.

The odds are basically zero. Minus one hundred, if you will.

But of all people who could have been here, doing something to the car you just bought, it’s none other than Christopher Bang.

“Hell, no,” you let out.

Your former best friend walks around the corner until he fills your vision completely. It allows you to take in his full figure. He is wearing a black tank top, showing off his ridiculously muscular arms and—of course—fucking grey sweatpants.

“Hell, yes,” he giggles.

But why the fuck did he just put his backpack into the trunk of your car.

How did he even get it in there? How did he open the door?

You keep wondering until two objects cross your gaze.

A key.

And a receipt.

For that exact pastel green vehicle that you just bought.

“He sold that car to the both of us?!”

“Seems like it,” Chan says, shrugging his shoulders.

“Aren’t you… annoyed?! He fucking scammed us!”

Your childhood friend is so different. It’s not just that he looks older, even more tired than he used to in his teenage years but he is behaving so strangely.

Chan used to be the dad of the group, the one who took care of everyone, the one that made sure to pack enough water, tissues, sunscreen and plasters—just in case. He was the first person you came to after a fight with your parents or after getting back a test you failed.

He used to be your anchor. He used to hold you close when the waves hit the shore, clinging onto you.

But from the short conversation you can tell that five years can do a lot to a person. It feels as if there’s someone standing in front of you that looks a little like Chan but isn’t actually him.

“We can go back, if that’s what you want. But I’m not leaving the car to you. I spent four grand on it,” he says.

Your former best friend crosses his arms in front of his chest—just like he used to when you were children. At least this gives you a bit of comfort and familiarity, although it’s pretty stupid.

Then another thing clicks and you giggle.

“What’s so funny, huh?”

Chan’s words come off way more annoyed than he intended. This is not how he imagined to meet you again. He’s dreamt about this day for such a long time now—both wanting to see you and to avoid you for the rest of his life.

After all, you were the one who didn’t show up at the airport when he went to Seoul five years ago. Sure, you weren’t on great terms back then—although you never got into a fight, simply stopped speaking as regularly as you used to—but he expected you, his oldest friend, to at least say goodbye.

He’s still convinced it was because of Minho. Even though it didn’t seem that serious in the beginning, Chan has been wondering throughout all these years if that guy turned into your boyfriend.

But seeing you here alone lets those chances shrink.

Similar to his patience.

Opposite to those feelings that are reborn inside his heart.

“I only paid $ 2500,” you tell him.

Yeah, Chan definitely made a very bad deal here, for sure.

“Then you should leave it to me,” he replies with a smirk.

“Oh, no. Forget that.”

You turn around on your feet, yanking the door open to reach for your water bottle. Downing most of the liquid, you throw it back onto the seat.

Chan is still standing there, watching every move with a smile that turns into a smug whenever your vision crosses his.

“Then we should talk to him,” he offers.

Chan isn’t an asshole. He won’t take the car away from you. Besides that, he got scammed, too.

“He left the lot… said his work day is over,” you share, letting your gaze meet the dirty floor you’re standing on.

“What a coincidence… not.”

Chan lets his head sink down as well, feeling defeated. It could be such a great, almost romantic, reunion but something seems off.

You’re so different.

It feels as if there’s someone standing in front of him that looks a little like you but isn’t actually you.

“What do you want us to do?” he asks, his voice turning a little smaller.

“I’m not gonna be in a car together with you,” you immediately let out.

Chan wants to be respectful. That’s just how he is or, well, how he used to be. Five years can do a lot to a person, being left without a goodbye can break a heart—even of those who seem to be the strongest.

He won’t let you go. Hit two birds with a stone. He could tease you for two reasons—revenge and regret.

Of course, Chan was the one who used to be in an almost two year long relationship with another girl but that was before his feelings. At least that’s what he’s telling himself, up until this day, secretly knowing it’s not the truth.

It’s not entirely your fault. Even though Chan is convinced that you have never reciprocated those feelings at some point, he still feels awful for kind of ignoring you as his best friend once Maya and him became a couple.

He dragged you to all those bad parties at the beach and then complained that you decided to have your own fun with Minho.

Chan is such an idiot. He knows that.

That’s why he decides to take his chance this time instead of letting it slip.

“It doesn’t seem like you have another option, doll.”

Doll.

That’s new.

Chan used to have many nicknames for you.

Angel. Dear. Honey. Darling.

All platonic—of course.

Something tells you he’s only using it to tease you and you might be right about that.

“Let’s just drive together for the first—I don’t know—few days, we’ll get some money and then we’ll buy a second car, okay?”

His offer is the most rational option.

You don’t have enough money to buy another car and even if you were able to, you wouldn’t. The both of you got scammed and the salesman is nowhere to be found. So, just make the best of it and pray that you’ll get a second vehicle as soon as possible.

Or well—let him get the money for that. This isn't how you envisioned your trip, after all.

“I’m on vacation here. I wasn’t planning on getting a job and even if I was, I doubt I will find something that pays well,” you say.

Chan sighs, getting a little closer to you, mainly out of habit. Your heart skips a beat, nevertheless.

“I’m working as a DJ tonight again. In a club by the coast in Tauranga. I heard they hire for other jobs as well,” he informs you.

Shit. Unfortunately—or fortunately, however you view it—that is your next stop on your route anyway.

“What jobs?” you ask then.

He chuckles, a little embarrassed this time, while he simultaneously scratches the back of his head.

“Uhm… dancers.”

His voice is so quiet, almost inaudible, as if he’s hiding something.

“Dancers?”

“Well, yeah… more like… strippers but not exactly,” he replies with a shy smile.

“Yeah—no. I am not doing that,” you instantly shoot back.

Chan sighs again, looking up to the blue sky until his eyes meet yours.

“Well, either that or you have to spend additional days with me. The choice is yours.”

That fucking smirk.

He is already getting on your last nerve.

How the fuck are you supposed to survive this?

Maybe you should indeed drive a little with him—just for a few kilometres until you stop at a gas station and accidentally leave him there when he goes into the store to pay.

That sounds like a plan.

“Get in the car, then.”

🥝

You haven’t abandoned Chan yet as if he’s some dumb little puppy—although that isn’t far from reality, considering how he follows you everywhere and seems to constantly crave your attention.

The only hour of the day that he didn’t spend annoying the shit out of you was when you made a stop at the Hobbiton Movie Set to participate in a tour that he booked. He paid for your ticket since it was his idea and wish to join the journey but you would have rather had him save the money for the second car you need to buy.

However, it reminded you of your childhood—when Chan and you used to do Lord Of The Rings movie marathons. It had always been a tradition, an annual celebration, if you will. Until your paths separated.

You’ve spent a lot of time suppressing those thoughts, pushing away your guilty conscience that told you it was your fault how things ended. After all, you were the one who didn’t say goodbye. Something tells you this is why Chan has been teasing you since yesterday.

But in your opinion this isn’t the full story. Sure, you were the one to cut things off—or rather ghosted him—but he was the main responsible part of why your friendship started to crumble.

God, you were so dumb back then. Well, you were teenagers and they tend to be a little dense and stupid.

You keep wondering how things would be if the both of you would have been able to communicate.

But then again—you believe a little too much in destiny and it can’t be a coincidence that Chan and you met again. Twice. Just when you’re entering a new stage, when you’re finally at a point in your life that isn’t the most satisfying and happiest but you can say that you’re the truest form of yourself that you have ever been.

Maybe it’s meant to be.

However, you’re not ready yet to fully grasp that idea.

“Kiwi juice?”

Your head snaps towards Chan, who is sitting in the driver’s seat. You switched after the Hobbit adventure, currently on your way to the beach in Tauranga.

“Hm?”

He offers you the paper carton in his hands.

Fuck. Those pretty hands. You could get lost at the sight.

Pull yourself together, it’s getting embarrassing.

“You want some? It’s the brand from… when we were younger,” he says, taking a little pause in between the words.

He’s nostalgic, he can’t deny it.

Chan has been wondering if it can really be a coincidence that the both of you met again.

Twice within twelve hours.

“Oh, sure,” you say, reaching for the juice. Your hand brushes his for a second in the process and your heart skips a beat, synchronising with Chan’s a second later.

When his gaze switches back to the road ahead of him, yours stays fixated on his face. You think he doesn’t notice but he does. However, this time he holds back that teasing comment that is tingling his tongue.

Happiness erupts on your face, when you taste the kiwi juice again for the first time. They’ve always been your favourite fruit—of course—and it would be a lie if you said this didn’t have an impact on you for choosing New Zealand as your travel destination after graduation.

“Is good?”

You nod, smiling at Chan and he gives you the same expression. It feels so natural—you look back into those same beautiful brown eyes from five years ago.

A thin pink layer appears on his cheeks and Chan is fast to bring his attention back to the street.

You can’t hold back the enormous smirk that is decorating your face now.

The journey flies by, until you reach the campsite and search for a nice spot to stop the car. Just when he’s about to turn off the engine, no other song that Harry Styles’ Kiwi is playing again. The both of you chuckle, suddenly feeling some kind of connection again.

Oh, Lord. That is gonna be an interesting evening.

Especially, once you remember the job Chan mentioned.

“Wait–“ you say, when you have gotten dressed and join Chan again who is currently busy preparing some dinner.

“What is it? You don’t like pasta anymore?”

You take a closer look at the dish he is currently cooking, as the delicious scents start entering your nostrils. Nostalgia hits you like a fucking train on highspeed once more.

“I– I do, that’s not what I meant.” Sinking down on the seat next to Chan, you help him place down the plates and cutlery. “I am… I don’t think I can do this… dancing job. I know it’s unfair if only you are working, especially since you spent the most on this car but I just can’t–“

“Woah, slow down,” Chan says. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I don’t know what has gotten into me earlier, I just wanted to… tease you, I guess. The club does hire dancers but you seriously don’t have to do this.”

“Okay,” you let out with a small voice and relief washing down your spine.

The pasta is finally ready and served. Chan’s cooking skills seem to have improved by at least ten levels since high school and you compliment him, causing the blush to come back to his cheeks again.

“Do you still want to come to the club with me, though?” he asks or rather offers.

You’re unsure. If you’re honest, you’re not in the mood right now for partying, you would rather have some introvert time and maybe you can get that once Chan leaves to work.

“I… I think I’m gonna lay down for a bit, I’m still tired from yesterday, the flight to Auckland was kinda exhausting.”

What a pity. He would have loved to have you there. Now that Chan has finally gained some confidence and feels the chemistry between the both of you come back to what it used to be—although so many things are still left unspoken—it would have been a great chance to at least build some trust again.

He kind of regrets annoying you in the beginning, pretending to be some douchebag although you deserved the initial teasing. But he rather wants to get closer to you all naturally and he does still believe that the both of you meeting is a sign. A fucking obvious neon sign.

It is ridiculous that after all these years, his feelings haven’t changed in the slightest for you.

He hopes that he won’t make that much money tonight so that you have to travel around together for a little longer.

“Sure. The club is straight this way, like two hundred meters, in case you change your mind.”

🥝

You did change your mind. A nap later and the clock hitting half past midnight, you decide to at least check out the venue. Getting ready takes you a little longer than expected but this can mainly be blamed on the way you packed your things in the huge bag.

You decide to go for a dark shirt combined with a skirt that has pockets—yes, pockets! Your favourite sneakers complete the look and transport you to the club. You follow the sandy path until you reach your destination.

Considering the night is already in full swing, it doesn’t take the employees long to check your ID and sell you a ticket. The venue is partly in the open—turning this into a party by the coast. A lot of people got rid of their initial outfit, deciding to stay in their swimwear. You’re glad you did the same, choosing a bikini over a bra and panties as if you already expected it.

The atmosphere is phenomenal—you’re glad you came here. You missed being at the beach. It’s where you belong. It’s where you truly feel at home.

A beautiful melody fills your surroundings, immediately pulling you closer to the bar that is located near the stage. You order a drink, before you head back into the crowd of people.

Chan—busy showing off his skills—spotted you right away. Even in a gallery filled with the most beautiful art pieces, he’d still be staring at you.

You catch him observing you, allowing your eyes to connect with his and he gives you a soft smile. It’s when your two drinks into the night, that you notice a shift in the situation.

Of course, you aren’t the only person having alcohol and some fun and it’s a club at a very touristy place after all. So, you shouldn’t be surprised that a lot of people, especially women, are approaching Chan, probably asking for certain songs, complimenting him, flirting with him.

It’s mainly groups that try to start a conversation with him, giggling along whenever he replies to one of their questions. That’s fine. You’re fine.

He's a DJ. He is at work and just doing his job, maybe hoping to get tipped or something.

It’s alright. Really. Until those groups turn into individual women that gather up enough courage to talk to him alone. The conversations—despite the insane noise—become longer and he gets closer to them.

An hour passes and another hour follows, filled with girl after girl flirting with your former best friend.

Another one approaches him. She’s even more beautiful looking than the previous one and your stomach turns when you realise she looks a little like Maya.

It’s not her—without a doubt. But when you see the smile on Chan’s face and how he leans closer to her to catch what song she’s suggesting, you know he must have a type.

That type being quite the opposite of you. 

You try to not read too much into his mimics, concentrating on the sound of the music roaming around and the taste of the alcohol on the tip of your tongue instead. 

Then you see him reach for her phone, definitely typing down his number.

That’s it. You’ve had enough.

Why the fuck did you have to meet him again?

Why the fuck is he flirting with all these women?

Why the fuck is he flirting with you too?

And most importantly—why are you jealous?

You spin around on your feet, storming towards the bar. With your back turned to Chan, you don’t see the enormous smirk he has on his face once again. He’s not oblivious—he noticed you staring at him for literal hours and he would be lying if the very obvious jealousy that you are carrying isn’t the main reason for his flirting in the first place.

He enjoys seeing you like this. Chan would have never believed to be such a tease with someone but you seem to provoke a side of him that has been slumbering inside him, waiting to be woken up.

The women that approach him from now on finally become transparent—it’s not as if he’s seriously been interested in any of them, flirting is sometimes part of his job and you shouldn’t read too much into it. However, Chan will use whatever to his advantage when it comes to getting a reaction out of you.

In the meantime, you order a vodka shot at the bar, downing it in one go before you immediately get another one. And another one. In this angle, Chan can’t tell what and how much you’re drinking but when he sees you come back, dangerously confident, heading towards the dancing stage, he knows it’s more than you’re possibly able to handle.

There are other guests on the stage as well, having some fun, letting out their inner desires, getting loose. The paid dancers are somewhere else but it’s still ironic that you’re becoming the spotlight of the whole club now—after being all shy with dancing.

Chan is a bit worried, if that’s really what you want to do or just the alcohol speaking. But you seem to feel comfortable and you really enjoy what you’re doing, you can’t deny that. He still keeps an eye on you—both for caring but also absolutely selfish reasons.

It’s alluring, how you sway your hips to the melody of the songs he’s playing, how your body moves to the beat so perfectly. Chan knows you’ve always been into dancing and music but unfortunately were too insecure to show it.

You’re having the time of your life, you really are.

Until you feel that last shot kicking in, realising it was one too many.

Leaving the stage, you sit down on some sofa for a bit, feeling your head spin like a carousel. When Chan has chosen the following song and switches his gaze back to the dancers, he can’t find you anymore. Hastily, his eyes roam through the club and he feels his chest tighten in anxiety. Possibly, you just went to the bathroom but you are also extremely intoxicated.

Searching for a nearby colleague, he informs them that there is an emergency that he has to take care of. Not quite pleased, the person tells him that if he leaves now, he will be fired from the job.

But Chan doesn’t care. All he cares about is you and your well-being. 

He knows you enough to know that you tend to underestimate the effect alcohol has on your body, at least it’s been like this when you were teenagers. Leaving his own stage, he starts searching for you.

You’re not sitting on the sofa anymore. A kind girl gave you a bottle of tap water and offered to comfort you, however, your emotions washed over you, making you rush towards the beach. She follows you, wanting to know you’re okay.

That’s where Chan finds you, lying in the sand, absolutely shit-faced. The girl next to you immediately senses him approaching you and enters defending mode.

“Who are you?”

He realises now how weird the situation for her must be. He’s a man she hasn’t seen with you before, so of course, hesitation is the right option.

“I’m her friend, just wanted to make sure she’s okay,” he explains.

Chan feels awful for not grasping it sooner. Sure, it was comforting seeing you have fun but he underestimated it. But then again—how was he supposed to help you while being at work?

He’s here now. That’s what counts.

“You really think I would believe that, hm? Any guy could just say that, you better leave her alone,” the girl says, severely annoyed by Chan and worried about you.

“Yeji… it’s good,” you tell her, “I know him. We are on vacation together, we’re childhood friends.”

She lets out a relieved sigh, giving Chan a small smile and telling him to sit down next to you as well.

Unfortunately, in your drunken state you don’t notice him getting closer because, if you did, you wouldn’t say those following words at such a high volume, when you lean towards Yeji.

“I have a huuuge crush on him but he doesn’t seem to notice.”

Chan’s heart stops beating.

What?

This can’t be. His pulse is running at the speed of light and he feels himself getting dizzy now, despite not having even a single drop of alcohol in his system.

“Okay, so you’re good?” Yeji asks.

You nod and pull her into a hug.

“You’ve got my number, just in case, okay?” she says, before saying goodbye and leaving you alone with your friend.

Chan makes sure you drink the rest of the water until the bottle is empty, as he watches the shimmer of the night sky reflect in your eyes.

“Y/N,” he begins.

“Huh?”

You look at him with big eyes, almost like a deer that stops in the middle of the street when a car approaches the animal.

“Let’s go back,” he says, getting up from the ground. Chan offers you his hand and helps you stand on your feet again. You’re stumbling a little but he makes sure to help you gain back your balance, holding your figure.

“Dancing? Sure, but my head it– spin-spinning and–“

“No, to the van,” he says.

You pout, letting your shoulders sink.

“But I wanna daaance, pleeeaaase…”

Chan seems frustrated.

“Party’s over, come on.”

His fingers wrap around your wrist, dragging you after him, as he guides you towards the campsite.

“You’re so mean!”

Chan sighs, deciding to not pay too much attention to your childish behaviour. After all, you’re pretty drunk and he’s glad you’re fine. Going back to the club is the worst idea.

First, you’re not in the right state of mind to be dancing again. Let alone drink something.

Second, the security will probably tell you to leave anyway, once they notice how intoxicated you are.

And third, it would be embarrassing for Chan to go back there, after he basically got fired.

“We’re gonna get you sober and ready for bed, yeah?”

You pout again, letting a whimper follow, as you obediently walk next to Chan.

“Okay, daddy,” you reply sarcastically.

He ignores your teasing now—and the way this dumb name makes him feel flustered—instead helping you brush your teeth which turns out to be a lot more complicated. You’re so absolutely stubborn and not able anymore to control your body and balance. However, he manages to take off the rest of your makeup and put your hair in a comfortable style for sleeping.

There’s one thing that’s still on the list. You can’t go to sleep with your outside-clothes.

“Pyjamas?” he asks you.

“In the backpack.”

Chan gets up from his seat, making you drink another glass of water, as he walks towards your bag. You’re carrying so much stuff with you that it seems impossible for him to find what he’s looking for. His fingers accidentally brush over a pile of panties, feeling the lace material against his skin. Your childhood friend is glad that the blush on his cheeks isn’t visible in the dim moonlight.

“I can’t find your sleepwear,” he says, giving up.

“Then I’m gonna just stay in my party outfit.”

“Oh, no,” he says, “you’re not wearing this worn stuff from outside on the mattress.”

You remember now. Chan has always been like this. When you used to visit him as a child, he made you change your “outside clothing” in case you wanted to sit or lie down on any type of furniture in his parents’ house. 

Your pants came in contact with the bus seats, that’s yikes, Y/N, he used to say. As a teenager you didn’t care but the older you got, the more you adapted to this philosophy.

“Fine,” you groan.

Chan decides to just grab something to wear from his backpack, it’ll do. He finds a nice oversized shirt and some boxers that he hands to you.

“I… you want me to wear your underwear?”

He sighs. Once again. “It’s clean, oh my God. Just change your clothes already.”

The curly haired turns around then out of respect, while you slip into the baggy fabrics.

“Done.”

“Good,” he says.

You crawl into the van, sinking down on the bed sheet, as you feel the weight of the mattress shift underneath you.

Chan gets ready for bed, too. In the meantime, you plug your phone to the power bank and send Yeji a quick text.

She answers within a few seconds.

[Yeji 04:57]: Sleep well, darling. Thanks for texting me. Goodnight 💕

It doesn’t take your phone long to receive another message from her.

[Yeji 04:58]: Also, get that man. He seems to like you back ;)

You chuckle, still way too tipsy to fully grasp what she says. How is she supposed to tell? She spent like three minutes with him and doesn’t even know you that well, either. Yeji is just a random but very kind girl you met while waiting in line in the bathroom.

Chan drags you out of your thoughts when he walks around the car, stopping in front of you to place his toothbrush back into his bag. He’s changed into some sweatpants, not bothering to wear a shirt to sleep.

Maybe it’s the alcohol that’s still swimming in your veins.

Maybe it’s the light of the lanterns tinting his naked chest in the prettiest glimmer.

Maybe it’s the pent up feelings and all those unspoken words.

Or it’s all of those things combined that make you speak the following words, “Can you… cuddle me to sleep, please?”

His head snaps up to you.

“Y/N… I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m gonna sleep outside, okay?”

You’re the one to wrap their fingers around his wrist now, pulling him towards the van.

“Nooo, it’s too cold. You’re gonna get sick.” Chan can’t resist that annoying pout on your face. “Stay a little longer?”

He sighs, crawling into the van as well, as he takes the space next to the door.

“Okay.”

It doesn’t take you long to fall into a deep slumber, while Chan holds you close—you being the small spoon and him being the big one. Whereas you are already deeply occupied in your dreams, insomnia seems to take the best of him again.

He can’t believe he’s got you back in his life.

He can’t believe that you’re getting along again, especially compared to eighteen hours ago after buying the van.

He can’t believe you told your new friend that you have a crush on him.

If that’s really the truth that would mean… that would mean you have had that crush for some time, right? Considering you only met one and a half days ago, you must have already had feelings for him before that.

Fuck. Chan is possibly the luckiest guy on this earth. He dearly hopes this isn’t that dream he’s dreamt a thousand times before.

Just when he’s about to finally get some rest, too, you stir around and change positions, before your eyes open and in your half asleep state, you start speaking,  “You left, Channie…”

His own eyes widen, pulling you closer. Maybe you’ve got some of those nightmares again that you used to have when you guys were younger.

“But I’m here, darling,” he reassures you, using that nickname again for the first time.

“No,” you mumble, “you left and went to Seoul five years ago. You left me.”

His heart stops and then breaks into a thousand tiny pieces.

That might be true but you were the one to literally ghost your lifetime best friend.

“And you didn’t say goodbye, Y/N,” Chan spits back.

He can tell you’re not fully awake. Maybe that’s what gives him enough confidence to speak what’s on his mind. It feels so good to finally let that out.

God, he’s such a coward.

Your eyes open a little more, although you’re still not really awake.

“Is that why you’re mad at me? Why you were teasing me?” you ask him.

He lets out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, “Yes.”

You roll onto your back, hiding your eyes behind the palms of your hands.

“Chan…”

He interrupts you, already regretting that he told you about his feelings, “Just forget it–“

“I couldn’t say goodbye…”

“Just… cut it–“

“My heart couldn’t handle it,” you say, “I was, well, I still am too much… too much in love with you to let you go.”

That’s when you doze off back into sleep.

It’s real. You’re real. Your feelings for him are real.

All these years. All the time waiting pays off—just for you to confess in your sleep. Well, better than nothing. Chan will see what the next day holds for you.

He knows you won’t hear him. However, he still speaks his words out loud, when he says, “I love you too, Y/N.”

🥝

You wake up around two in the afternoon the next day, feeling your pulse pumping inside your head.

Chugging down the rest that’s inside your metallic water bottle, you come to the realisation that you have no idea how you made it back to the van last night.

Speaking of—you find yourself alone in here, the space beside you still a little warm but that could also be caused by the sunbeams that are making their way inside the vehicle.

When you push the blanket away, you observe yourself in clothes that aren’t yours. Looking down at the bottoms, you notice you’re wearing boxers, probably Chan’s.

Why are you wearing his clothes? You guys weren’t so drunk that you… no, Chan wouldn’t do something like that.

However, you were indeed drunk. That is a fact. Otherwise you wouldn’t have a mental blackout about yesterday’s night.

“Morning,” Chan says, appearing in front of the van’s door. “I made some tea for you.” He hands you the beverage, painfully obviously trying to avoid your gaze.

What the hell happened?

“How are you?” 

Chan takes a seat beside you, leaving respectful space between the both of you.

“I’ve been better before. I feel very tired and sore. I also don’t remember much… my mind is blank after… getting up that stage– oh God, I probably embarrassed myself and–“

“You didn’t,” he reassures you. “You were the life of the party.”

You roll your eyes, “That sounds even worse.”

He chuckles and you join him. It feels good and so familiar to be with him.

Chan feels like comfort. He feels like home.

“Do you feel good enough to go on a two and a half hour trip to Cathedral Cove?”

Wow. Your plans once again seem to match.

“That was my next stop on my route, too,” you tell him with a smile.

“I know. I saw the little sheet of paper you pinned to your backpack. Sorry, I hope it’s okay I read–“

“Of course,” you say.

“Then, take your time to get ready. I have a job again at a club tonight but only for the first few hours.”

After taking a shower—a cold one again—in the public bathroom of the campsite and changing into some comfortable shorts and a baggy shirt, you head back to the van. Chan hands you a bowl, filled with your comfort breakfast.

“You made porridge?”

He nods, “Yeah. We didn’t have fresh fruits and the little market over there was already closed, so I used canned tangarines. It tastes good, though.”

And it really does. The citrus fruits and sugar give you a lot of energy and fight against your hangover, the oats fill your stomach and awaken you.

“Did you make enough money yesterday?” you ask Chan, once you’re done with eating and washing the dishes, before packing everything.

“About that,” he starts, scratching the back of his head.

“What happened?”

“They kinda fired me… because I took a break to look if you were alright,” he explains.

Shit. That’s all your fault. You feel like a helpless child that he has to look after. The fact you drank so much because of your jealousy, lets your guilty conscience wash all over you.

“Chan, I– fuck, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have drunk that much I am so dumb–“

“Hey, it’s fine,” he says. “I don’t care. I don’t want money from a company like this, anyway.”

He waits until you give him a little nod. Chan hovers your backpacks into the trunk again, before you take the passenger’s seat.

The door to your right opens, as Chan sinks down next to you, starting the engine.

“Shall we?”

🥝

You got a little more sleep while Chan drove the two of you to the new destination. Dinner was on you tonight—your speciality, instant ramen, homemade by you. Maybe not the most nutritious meal, but a good and greasy base for possibly drinking alcohol again.

However, when entering the venue—well, it’s really just four neon lanters creating a makeshift square at the beach—you decide to ditch the drinks tonight, instead going for lemonade and water. Once again, Chan isn’t drinking either, knowing he is more focused on his work when he’s sober.

His talent is insane. He even makes you enjoy songs that you don’t like at all, solely by the remix versions he creates. You’ve always known that he’s a virtuoso. 

You’re feeling freedom rush through your veins, letting go of all the worries, as you dance along to the beautiful music.

Until you take a look at Chan and once again find a group of women surrounding him.

That’s when it clicks.

You got drunk yesterday, after watching the exact same scene that is turning into a déja-vu now. He flirted with them and as immature as you were, you decided to drown your jealousy in vodka.

Yeji, the kind girl from the bathroom, comes back to your mind. How she took care of you until Chan was–

Oh, no. 

You also remember now how he got you ready for bed—which explains the shirt and boxers—and how you begged him to cuddle you to sleep.

There’s another distant memory in the back of your head that you can’t quite grasp yet. You can’t differentiate if it was a dream or not, but something tells you, you poured your heart out to Chan and accused him of leaving.

You don’t remember your exact words. You do remember, though, how you told Yeji about your crush on Chan, while he was literally next to you.

Fuck. You’re so embarrassing. This year’s world wide loser award goes to none other than Y/N Y/L/N.

“Fancy a drink?”

The male voice startles you at first, however, you still turn around to search for its owner. In front of you is standing a beautiful man, a bit taller, his long black hair almost reaches his shoulders.

You said you didn’t want to drink. You want to be mature. But when you catch a glimpse of a girl whispering something into Chan’s ear, you know you’ve had enough. He doesn’t like you back, give up already. You confessed having a crush on him and he doesn’t do anything about it, time to live your life and show Chan what he is missing.

“Hm, one drink won’t do much harm,” you tell the guy.

He pays for the beverage and every water and lemonade you order after. It’s fun spending time with him. He’s without a doubt the best dancer you’ve ever seen, encouraging you in your own moves.

You didn’t get his name when he introduced himself due to the noise inside—you don’t know if he’s called Hyunjin or Hyungmin but it doesn’t really matter anyway. He’ll help you get your mind off all the mess nonetheless.

He’s dancing behind you, his crotch pressed against your ass, only a few layers of fabric separating you from him. His lips land on your neck, destined to draw a pretty pattern on your skin.

The clock hits two. Chan’s shift is over.

And you can be sure he will waste no time to do what he’s wanted to do since that prick laid his hands on your hips.

A minute later, Hyunjin feels someone touching his shoulder, making him pull away a little from you.

“Sorry, but the party’s over.”

Why is Chan always ruining the fun? You aren’t even tipsy. What’s his fucking problem?

“What do you want, dude?” Hyunjin says, clearly annoyed.

You stay in his hold, but your gaze finds Chan’s.

“I want you to let go of my girl and piss off, to be honest,” he answers, clicking his tongue.

What?

Your head starts spinning like yesterday, but this time you’re drunk on emotions.

“Man– I didn’t know–“

Hyunjin doesn’t get to finish his sentence, when Chan is already dragging you out of the club and towards the empty campsite.

The curly haired doesn’t say a word, but the tense atmosphere fills the whole beach even until you get closer and closer to your car.

Chan is furious. Sure, those girls talked to him as well, flirted a little but that’s what all there was. But when he saw Hyunjin’s lips on your neck, that straw broke the camel’s back.

Meanwhile, you feel like you’re in trance. You’re obediently following him just until Chan spins you around and watches your back meet the side of the green car.

He cages you between his firm body and the vehicle. The sight makes your knees go weak, makes you lose even the last molecule of sanity. You know you won’t have to say much, it’s obvious what it is.

Maybe it’s the fact you’re thinking clearly, no alcohol in your system this time.

Maybe it’s the way the moonlight covers Chan’s muscular arms and how the stars reflect in those beautiful brown eyes.

Maybe it’s the pent up feelings and all those unspoken words.

Or it’s all of those things combined that make you speak the following words.

“Just kiss me already.”

Chan may be an idiot from time to time, but he won’t let this chance slip. His lips smash into yours, making time stand still, letting the earth and the whole fucking universe stop for a minute.

Every cell in your body wants him. 

And you show him exactly that, when you invite his tongue in to explore the insides of your mouth. Your heartbeat starts echoing in your ears and a moment later, it synchronises with Chan’s.

His hands find their way to your hips, wandering a little further until they meet your ass. He squeezes the soft flesh through the fabric of your skirt, listening to the beautiful moan you let out.

It’s only now that you get aware that you put on the metallic necklace tonight—your friendship accessory that connects you, literally, with Chan. You wanted to get some reaction out of him. But he doesn’t seem to have noticed yet.

He’s too busy placing one kiss after another on your lips anyway, until he decides to change the course and wanders down with his artwork. Your cheeks, your jaw, your neck, back to your lips, right in that order. He wants to make sure that every centimetre Hyunjin touched, will be drawn over.

He’s driving you insane. You already feel yourself getting absolutely lightheaded. Maybe that’s how you justify that next whimper that spills from your lips, when his hand travels between your legs. He wonders if you put on a skirt on purpose but, nevertheless, this will make his mission a lot easier.

“Chan– stop teasing–“ you let out, knowing you won’t be able to withstand any anticipation.

But Chan isn’t done yet with provoking you. Not after you danced with that guy in the club, not after you let him kiss you like that.

“Don’t complain too much or I’ll fuck you against the van, here outside, for everyone to see.”

Oh, God. In the state you're in, you’d probably even allow him that. However, after falling asleep in his arms on the bed inside the van, you should finish what you’ve started exactly there.

And Chan seems to read your mind, as it seems.

“Get your pretty ass on the mattress, doll.”

But you decide to change plans a little, for the sole reason to tease him now. Beating him with his own weapons sounds like the most entertaining thing you can imagine.

Your lips land on his neck, rough bites leaving an astonishing memory of tonight. Chan’s the one to let out a moan now, as he feels his boxers tighten, his growing erection brushing against the fabric.

But he won’t let you defeat him so easily.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” he warns you. Chan catches your face, squishing your cheeks together in an attempt to make you look at him, which you immediately do.

“I’ve had enough of your behaviour.”

His other hand is back between your thighs, disappearing under your skirt, wandering up to your very much soaked panties. Of course, he has to chuckle out loud, when the tips of his fingers brush over that embarrassingly wet spot.

“For me, baby?”

But you won’t let him defeat you so easily.

Chan finds it hilarious that you’re getting shy now but your body speaks what your mouth doesn’t want to—especially, once he carefully pushes the laces aside, grazing over your wetness.

“Fuck– please–“ you let out.

Well, it seems as if you let him defeat you easily. But you don’t care.

“Get inside, doll.”

He yanks the door of the car open, making you crawl inside.

And he wouldn’t be Chan if he didn’t tell you to take off the skirt before sitting down on the bed sheets. After all, you’re wearing outside clothes. Or maybe it’s just a cheap trick. However, when he takes off his jeans as well, leaving him in his underwear and the view of the pretty outline of his hard dick, you giggle a little.

When lying down on the soft cushion, the pendant that’s attached to the chain somehow wanders underneath your shirt, hiding it from Chan completely. But you don’t even notice. Not when the man above you is ready to devour you like a five star meal.

“Maybe I should fuck the brat out of you, make you come to your senses again,” he says, making you scoot a little more upwards.

He places your legs over his shoulders, before he starts kissing the inner sides of your thighs, gradually wandering towards your clothed core. A long stripe meets your panties, as you desperately hold back another moan.

“You’re all talk but no doing, Chan,” you let out.

He just chuckles and wastes no time to pull down your underwear, getting right back to his task. 

“Weird way of begging, but if that’s what you’re asking for…”

As if you’re on autopilot, you spread your legs even further, allowing your friend better access. His tongue comes back into play, as his fingers help him push your pussy lips apart.

Then your mind turns off.

“I– Fuck–“

It feels like heaven. The kitten licks. The vibrations his moans send through your whole body. His fingertips that circle around your throbbing hole.

Chan pushes two digits in at once, adoring the little whimper you let out. Your walls immediately clench around him, sucking him in, telling him how much you missed him.

It’s embarrassing how close you already are. But you’ve lost track of time—you can’t tell if it’s been seconds, minutes or hours that Chan’s head has been between your thighs.

You’ve never been with a guy that enjoys eating pussy that much. How you regret not doing this sooner with him…

“Chan– I–“

He just hums against you, enjoying every bit of your helplessness. You should have done this sooner. How he regrets not confessing to you earlier…

Squelching sounds are filling the car and in the back of your head you’re quite glad that Chan remembered to close and lock the door. His fingers already feel so absolutely amazing inside you, you wonder how great his cock is gonna fill you.

You get a taste of the idea, when he once again swirls his tongue around your clit and changes the angle of his fingers a little. He’s knuckles deep inside your aching hole, now hitting that certain spot just right.

Just a little later, your mind goes completely blank, the sight of the darkness inside Chan’s eyes hidden, when the white sparkles fill your vision instead. The feeling takes over your whole body, legs shaking, when you reach that sweet relief. You cry out his name, forgetting any other syllable you’ve ever known. Almost struggling to catch your breath, Chan helps you ride out your high.

Painfully slowly, he pulls his fingers out of you, watching you squirm at the loss of contact. He licks his fingers clean, making sure to let his eyes stay on your own.

You feel hypnotised.

You feel drunk.

“Hmm, still so confident that you don’t like me back, huh?” he teases you.

Like him back?

Well, you aren’t surprised he must at least find you attractive. Otherwise, Chan probably wouldn’t have eaten you out like a starving man. But you weren’t aware that there are feelings that are thrown into the mix.

“Like you back?”

“Don’t you remember what you said last night?”

Is this about the confession while Yeji was with you or did you…

Oh, the memories are slowly coming back now. You said something to him after accusing him of leaving, after pouring your heart out to him.

Did you, perhaps, tell him more?

“W-What?”

“Right before you fell asleep you confessed that you have romantic feelings for me, honey,” he says, shamelessly clicking his tongue.

“I…” 

You don’t know what to say, so the logical solution is to catch his lips in a heated kiss instead. You pull him closer, tasting yourself on his tongue but you don’t mind. He gives in for a solid minute, until he stops, knowing he has to speak further first.

“I told you before—well, you were asleep—but I return the feelings.”

You gasp. It’s now or never. There’s no reason to hold back anymore.

“Channie… I’m in love with you, have been all this time.”

There appears the brightest smile his face has ever experienced.

“I’m in love with you… have been even before that first kiss together,” he admits.

“You… what?”

Even in the weak light of the LED lanterns, you can still make out that cute pink curtain on his cheeks.

“I was scared… so I decided to hide my feelings but I’m done with hiding now.”

He kisses you then and you give in completely.

Fuck. You can’t believe this is happening.

He loves you back? He’s loved you all this time? You’re so happy that you don’t even care that it took you seven years to realise. 

Your childhood friend turned lover stops the kiss for a second, as he gets back in a seating position. Chan suddenly takes off his tank top, revealing his stunning chest to you.

As well as something else.

The necklace.

He’s wearing it.

That’s what makes you take off your shirt and your bra, too, revealing the metallic chain and pendant to him.

“You’re wearing the necklace?”

“I thought you would have noticed sooner.”

And he kisses you again, enjoying how beautiful you look underneath him, until a clicking sound startles you.

The magnets inside the pendants make the necklaces connect. You’ve expected them to not work anymore after storing the chain wherever for over five years.

“Fuck, I love you so much. I’m gonna show you, baby.”

And, oh God, that’s exactly what he does. His fingers are right between your legs again, playing sensually with your clit, as his tongue is attached to your tits, making out with one of the hardened buds.

But you need more and you need it now.

“Channie?”

He looks up for a second, “Yeah?”

“I need you… need you inside me.”

Chan wastes no time and takes off his remaining clothes, as you watch his length spring free. He’s pretty—maybe a bit above average but the girth is what basically makes you drool at the sight. The tip is already covered in precum, telling you to not wait any longer.

You ask him to come closer, but Chan still has something on his mind.

“I– I don’t have a condom with me right now… it’s in the trunk in my backpack but I can–“

“I have an IUD. If that’s okay with you,” you offer.

“Of course, dear.”

He’s positioning himself between your legs again, reaching for his length and stroking it a few times. Chan could get lost in the look you have on your face—desperately waiting for him to bury his cock inside you. Your fingers wander down to your heat, playing a little with your clit and that’s when he knows he won’t have you wait any longer.

The tip circles around your wet entrance, before he pushes only a few centimetres in first, watching you get used to the feeling. When you nod, he enters further, until he bottoms you out completely. You’re more than glad that he prepared you so well earlier.

After a quick kiss on your lips, he starts thrusting into you, observing every move and noise you make. You’re getting completely lost in the sensation, allowing him to take care of your body.

It doesn’t take long for the windows inside the car to gain a foggy layer from all the panting. Chan positions your legs over shoulders, similar to how he did earlier, as his hand wanders towards your chest.

He squeezes one of your breasts for a little, before his fingers travel further, circling around your throat, adding pressure to the sides. What a beautiful view—he’s dreamt about this so many times. Having you underneath him. Having full control over you and your body.

“Channie– fuck–“ you let out.

His cock is brushing that spot inside you again, it’s as if he’s fucked you a thousand times before.

And you feel so deliciously warm and tight around him, Chan for sure can’t get enough of your cunt.

He has to make sure you remember this. Even now that you’re finally his, he wants to hear those words coming from you.

“Who do you belong to, hm?” 

Fuck. That possessive side is something you sure can’t get enough of.

“I– fuck–“

Chan’s initial idea was to make pure love to you, although he sensed you enjoy him being less gentle, as well. So, the roughness takes over him then. Passion and desire are marking his words.

“Say it, baby. Whose good little slut are you?”

Slap. His hand collides with your ass, when you don’t answer within a second.

“Y-Yours, Channie– yours,” you then immediately let out. You could get used to this side of him.

“Good girl.”

It happens in the blink of an eye, it was inevitable. Waves of pleasure are traveling through your body, conquering your whole existence. Chan holds you close, helping you through the overstimulating sensation of your second orgasm.

After you’ve begged him to cum inside, he then paints your walls, all with the prettiest whimper spilling from his plump lips. 

The necklaces stay connected throughout the entire unholy scene, reminding you that this was indeed meant to be.

Once you’ve both come down from your high, Chan pulls out of you. He watches the mixture of his liquids spill out of your hole, before he brings two fingers right there, scooping up some of the droplets and guiding them towards your mouth.

You obediently lick them clean, before he places a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

He takes a deep breath, “I’ve always wanted to be your first, to be honest.”

“Yeah… me, too,” you confess.

“But that doesn’t matter.” Another kiss on your forehead. “‘Cause I’ll be your last.”

💚AUTHOR'S NOTE: *taps on mic* is this thing on? yeah, hi I'm back. This fic had been chilling in my drafts half-chilling for the past few months and I am a dramatic libra so that's the first thing I post. I hope you guys have been well and enjoying your summer (or winter for my beloveds who live on the southern hemisphere and yes I know it's ironic I post a New Zealand summer story in August pls don't cancel me). I hope you enjoyed this one, I feel a bit insecure this time, if I'm completely honest with you. Please consider reblogging and/or commenting, if you want to give something back to the author! Messages via asks are fine, too. Lots of love and take care!

© j-0ne25 2023 | copying, translating or stealing my work is prohibited

[killedpink]

tagged by @zoe8stay tysm for tagging me <33

rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people!

enter sandman - metallica

black milk - massive attack

19 - stray kids

heart-shaped box - nirvana

ready for love - bad company

magdalena - a perfect circle

i want you (she's so heavy) - the beatles

stars and raindrops - stray kids

betcha - baekhyun

121U - day6

tagging anyone who wants to join cause im shy lmao >_>

[killedpink]

이 민호 | reflecting light.

🎧 masterlist !?

💭 synopsis: after years of a push and pull relationship with your assigned bodyguard, you leap at the opportunity to get inside his head when you're stuck in a cabin miles from society. what you don't expect is that he wants the same thing that you yearn for.

🐈‍⬛ word count: 8.3k

📂 contains: female reader, bodyguard minho, mutual pining, unestablished relationship, food mention, pet names, virgin reader, first time, oral sex, cum consumption, hair pulling, marking, noise kink, slight fingering, corruption kink, unprotected sex, creampie.

there's no heat in the sun. it's the light that wakes you, tangled in bedsheets and your sleep tender body shielding your eyes from the unwelcome light. the space in the bed next to you is beginning to freeze. minho's gone. he's usually the first to wake in the morning. in other words: you're not worried he's wandered off. that's not his job. that's not who he is.

it takes you longer than you'd like to admit for you to roll out of the warm, lonely bed.

you spot him at the kitchen counter, the oak island flooded with wood-chips, food containers and weapons. you sit at one of the stools, face in your hands as you watch minho cook. pancakes. you smile at the realisation, fondness welling up in your half groggy mind.

"good morning." he mutters absentmindedly, baritone voice husky. it hasn't been long since he woke himself, you conclude. he's uncharacteristically chatty this morning. usually, the only chatter you hear before seven is the sizzle of breakfast onto the hot metal frypan. yet again, this whole outing has been different. the circumstances weren't: someone was close to hurting you and your dutiful minho took you out of the equation. but laying next to you? holding your sleeping body? striking a conversation for the fun of it? minho rarely, if ever did things like these. it distracted him, as he put it. better an awkward silence than your life on the line, he'd insist, plump lips in a tiny frown.

you turn to the window, watching the still world outside in fascination. the wintery breath in the air sinks down in a sheer fog, frosting the pane and obscuring the earth's memory of summer. "yes, it is," you smile, eyes squinting to find the outline of the half thawed lake.

minho pushes the plate of pancakes in front of you without another word. his back is facing you again. you sigh, "are we going to talk about last night?" he turns to you curiously, without saying anything. you feel something build inside of you. a feeling you haven't felt for a long, long while. it irks you — his professionalism is by far one of the most frustrating qualities of minho. it is simultaneously attractive and infuriating.

both of his hands hold the edge of the table, leaning closer to you, "you can talk. i'll listen." minho raises a brow expectantly. his hair is getting longer again; a dark, rich brown that shines an almost red when the light manages to catch it just right. it hangs in mid air, semi obscuring his deep chestnut eyes — everything about him was so feline.

you sigh in faux resignation, a lick of fury lingering in a corner of your heart. "you haven't been that close to me since.." you pause, trying not to swallow your words. minho gave you an opportunity to talk. you'd be a fool not to prove your capabilities to him. "since the beach." he finishes coolly, a knowing glint lingering in his dark eyes as he stares at you through his long black lashes. you nod, at a loss for words.

one of his hands ruffles his hair, huffing in restraint. "i didn't mean to argue with you last night. i was.." he paused, tips of his ears beginning to burn. "i held you because i was trying to apologise. i was harsh, and i regret that." there are mere inches in-between the both of you.

as much as it hurts to say, because it means you have to realise it, you are dissatisfied with minho's apology. "you apologise to me, but you'll do it again." minho visibly bristled at your response, despite his admirable efforts to contain himself. he shook his head, "that's unfair." his voice was sentimental, open and vulnerable.

you waited, soundlessly.

"it's my job to keep you safe. i've done that — i still do that. if i tell you everything, i will be killing you. don't you understand that? you can't know the things i do and expect to be safe. i devote my life to keeping you protected, so can't you do the one thing i ask?"

you bit down on your tongue, and your gaze loitered on minho's face with a profound sense of regret and admiration. even in unimaginable amounts of hurt and frustration, he had never raised his voice at you. your eyes glittered with tears. shameful tears. they're heavier and saltier than ones of happiness, or of sadness. if it was possible, your tears seemed to hurt minho more than it did you. his lips parted, showing off his bunny teeth, and the swell of his top lip looked even plumper. his eyes softened, into big, round stars.

you dig the heels of your hands into your wet eyes, "i'm so sorry, minho." and you truly are. he moves to hold you, his hands stroke your hair and he doesn't flinch when you bury your tear soaked face into his torso. softly, with hands as gentle as rain, he tucks you away into his arms.

"you have nothing to apologise for, sweetheart. eat your breakfast, okay?" minho's strong hand rubbed up and down the length of your back delicately, as if he were unsure if you would break. you nod weakly, guilt still devouring you from the inside out.

he called you sweetheart, you realised.

sweetheart. it sounded fascinating in his beautiful mouth.

_

the crackling fire felt worthless. cold still managed to seep into your bones — your aching, heavy bones. the only warmth you felt was from minho, who sprawled himself out on you from the left. he smelled heavenly. his skin was soft, and you could feel the outline of his muscles through his shirt. there was little room to move under the shared blanket. it all felt so domestic. so.. right. this is how you wanted to be with minho. but, you know he's only this close with you to preserve heat in the winter night. it turns the butterflies in your stomach and the unfiltered swoon in your head sour. you sink into the bed, eyes fixated on the brightly flickering fire.

"i hate that we're like this.." you mutter out loud, voice raw and likely catching on the emotion in your tone. you prepare to elaborate if minho bites. you expect him to whip his head to face you and beg you to expand on your statement. he doesn't.

"i know. i'm sorry." minho's voice is husky. he buries his head into the nape of your neck, a cool nose pressing against your warm skin. it forces goosebumps from you — eager and persistent. your hands ball into fists, your bottom lip wobbling. it hurts to be this close to him; because you are always craving more.

"why can't we be like this every day?" you ask, futilely. the more you try to understand about minho, the more you realise you don't know anything about him. he was an enigma, in body and soul. you felt him nuzzle into your skin in thought. his hand, rosy at the knuckles, delicately caresses your arm, and his actions speak for him. 'i want to be like this, too.' it weeps.

"i.. i don't know." minho answers truthfully. is it possible he truly doesn't know? it seems unlike him. you want to unwrap his secrets like flower petals, to open them fully and allow him to bloom in the rays of your sun. "i want us to be like this every day. i am sorry."

minho. gentle, determined, golden minho. his tone is sweet and his voice heavy. you hear the pain in his mind when he speaks. how can he apologise? the words feel wrong coming out of his mouth. they turn into knives and twist inside of your gut. your hand falls from your lap to hold minho's hand; and you give it an affectionate squeeze. a medley of 'i love you', and 'you have nothing to be sorry for' translates from your wordless affection.

with the wood devouring fire singing in the background, you decide your next words.

"how about.." you begin, trying to ignore the sounds of your thumping, childish heart in your ears. "we hang up the titles and the statuses — just for tonight — and be who we want to be?"

"i would like that very much." minho chuckles, and you feel his smile on your bare skin. you revel in it, and you're suddenly glad you're miles off of the grid, because you're sure minho's beaming would make every lightbulb burst with his brightness. "who do you want to be tonight, minho?" you inquire. minho's brain doesn't even register what he utters, his mouth working mindlessly and without restraint; just as you promised.

"yours."

you twist in his lap like a cloud, light and gleaming. gingerly, the pads of your fingers glide over minho's face to brush the light-kissed hair from his eyes. the apples of his cheeks peek through and his eyes crinkle into crescent moons as he smiles at your touch. the contours of his angelic face are made impossibly prettier by the firelight. his plump, rounded lips glow from the warm light of the fire — he looks so homely. minho notices your staring.

"kiss me. i've wanted it long enough," he pleads, breathless.

and so, you kiss him. in a flurry, your lips glide over minho's; his top lip captured between your teeth. his lips are warm and wet and soft and so addictive. you sigh into the kiss as you realise this is all you've wanted. ever since he kissed you in that forgotten beach where the cave will never hold the same water, you've been haunted by his soft, soft skin and his devoted touch. when you're in his arms everything clicks into place.

your lips migrate from his mouth, and stop on minho's cheeks. his skin is soft, there, too. then the jaw. nose. chin. forehead. cheekbone. you cannot stop yourself. you feel his teeth peek out from his pink lips in a smile. you love him and it's getting worse. you kiss him, intending to search and understand him. you move on your own, and adoringly kiss every inch of him that he presents to you. and minho is ready for you love. he cannot go another day of choking it back — not when it feels this enriching. you want to sob, and wail at the emotions welling up inside of you. you touch each other with the most excruciating tenderness. you use a lifetime of love to pour into minho. you keep hold of each time he made you laugh, and smile and feel safe, and thrust it all back to him, each swoon-worthy memory replaying in your head and devoting a kiss to it.

your kisses are thank yous, and i love yous, and i miss yous, and i forgive yous all at once.

the moon has never seen either of you like this before. the only time you've ever kissed was under the watchful eye of the morning sun, its rays exploding on the ocean's horizon and glittering over your shadowy cave. your lips regrettably part from minho's. he rests his forehead on yours, his unearthly lips parted and his watery brown eyes gleaming like a spell under the soft orange glow of the fire.

"from the moment i kissed you, i have not been alive since. my heart beats only for you." minho's voice is smoky, and it doesn't dare travel far. his eyes gaze into yours, and many words appear in your mind to help comprehend them: whiskey, ebony. almond, feline. sparkling. does he ever tire of being so beautiful? at times like these, where intimacy is first nature and no-one else in the world could dare to exist but each other, you conclude that it suits you fine if everyone else finds minho horrible. he is your secret. he is your minho. you love him like grief loves rain — endlessly and without restraint, end, or beginning.

you place a kiss to his temple, your eyes fluttered closed comfortably, "i am yours, minho. please, show me i am yours." you feel his chest vibrate with a low chuckle. the sound vines through your mind and its roots sink and grow into your heart. his touch sears into your skin. whether minho comes to you as a lover or an executioner, you are wholly ready to receive him.

minho's fingers cradle your cheeks, his hands gentle as he kisses up your neck. "tell me." he mutters. "do you want me because it's me," he nips at your throat. you shudder, eyes scrunched closed as you try to lose everything into his touch. "or do you want me because i'm the only one around?" he asks, and judging by his tone, he is impervious to either. your open palm presses against his chest. it pains you to clarify it, but you know it is because he has never been loved by anyone before.

"minho." you start. "no world exists in where i want you only for convenience." you see the way his shoulders twitch as he contains a sob. "in every lifetime, i love you." you watch him melt and unfold before you, his deep brown eyes filling with tears. minho blinks them away, slowly, "then, i want to be the last man to do this to you."

you can't help the smile on your lips from his assumption. you brought minho's brow level with your mouth, sore from longing, and sweetly kissed his forehead. his nose bridge is next — and it scrunches as he smiles. minho's face grew so quickly warm that you giggled. in the most unsubtle way possible, minho withdrew his hips so you wouldn't feel the heat there; he closed his pure, warm chestnut eyes, wordlessly begging you to continue. your mouth fell to his neck, peppering kisses in areas no-one would think to reach. "you are the first man to do this to me." you whisper against his jaw, and you swear you can feel his golden, tanned skin burst into a sizzling burn that rolls off of his body and onto yours.

his fingers find the hem of your thick sweater. he rolls the fabric between the pads of his fingers, "can i take this off?" minho asks. you nod, "of course." your voice is soft, slow and you realise you have waited your whole life for this moment. minho's skin is blazingly warm as he slides under your sweater and coaxed it off of your flushed body. you mirror his actions, tugging at his hoodie wordlessly. minho's movements blur together as they fly around his hoodie, leaving him shirtless and shivering from the onslaught of cold.

minho's golden skin was a plane of hard earned muscle. with a little help from the soft light, you could see occasional marks of fairer skin on his body. scars. his abs, ribs, arms and pecs were littered with shrapnel marks and in lesser places: bullet holes. his collarbones, like pillars, started at he base of his throat and spread to the ends of his shoulders. he was mythic, and held down by miles of smooth skin. at your staring, minho frowned. "it's not.. attractive, i know. i'm sorry." he bowed his head. had he gone mad?

"no." you protested, devoted fingers tracing the contours of his torso and running over the healed wounds. you watch a shiver roll down his spine at your touch, ghosting over his skin. he is so brave, and quiet, that you often forget of his suffering. "you do what you need to, i know. but, still — it suits you. minho, it's beyond attractive. it's impressive and.. beautiful." perhaps you had intended your words to be more profound, more complex, but at the sight of minho, you tend to lose your train of thought. your simple language was open; and it didn't hide how much you admired him. you love his scars because none of them come without a story. bravery, stupidity — as rare as it might be for him — minho has earned them all, and overcame them.

you delicately tuck a piece of wavy brunet hair behind minho's ear, stopping it from sweeping his ear. minho's eyes slipped closed for a moment, his thick lashes kissing the swells of his cheeks as he lets out a small, giddy laugh. it whirls around your head and makes your heart beat faster against your ribcage. it made your stomach flutter and twist like a gust of wind whipping through a spring-fresh tree. when minho opens his eyes again, his pupils look significantly more dilated than before, his pink tongue peeking out from his mouth to wet his lips. "can i touch you?"

your heart softens. a burning need to sob at his kindness overwhelms you and chokes your throat. "i get it's the gentleman thing to do," the pads of your fingers stroke his burning cheeks. "to keep asking me, but minho, you can do whatever you want to me."

you excite minho. he grins, scooping you onto his lap and burying his head into the crook of your neck, flushed skin against flushed skin. his fingers circle your hipbone, "i am only as gentlemanly as you want me to be." he muttered into your body, which trembles for his touch. you do not push minho away, instead hooking your fingers into the muscle of his shoulders and tug, pull, palm him closer to you. there will always be molecules between the both of you and it is infuriating.

like stars, the red of yours and minho's mouths collide. he breathes into your lungs; he is a wonderful creation and it's your first time seeing heaven. the deliciously veiny set of hands slide up from your hips, and he's brave enough to draw circles around your breasts with the pads of his thumbs. you expected to stay cold for a lot while longer; but your body grew scorching hot very soon. he has that effect on you. the feeling of his strong, muscular thighs between your legs forces your appetite for him to boil over in your gut.

minho had spent his whole life accommodating others. everything removable, and soft in him murdered and replaced with hardness and stoicism. vulnerably, he sits under you, open and waiting — begging for you to take him apart. his body pleads for you to sit on the bed of the long, toned muscle of his thigh. he prays you will rest your swirling head on the cushion of his stuttering heart. he is your home, do you not understand? make it yours.

your body tries to shudder as his index finger dips into the waistband of your sweatpants and traces your slit, minho's lips morphing into a smirk as he feels the damp fabric of your underwear. the texture of his veiny, strong hands feel so overwhelmingly good on your skin that you can't help yourself when your hips roll to follow his touch. your fingers sneak into his hair and tug at his roots, bringing his head up as you press your lips onto his. your insatiable mouth kissed minho with all the power you could possibly muster — making up for all the years, months, weeks, days, minutes, even seconds that your lips had not been touching.

the way minho carefully thumbs your clit replaces the fluttery, airy feeling of arousal in your gut to the exact opposite: he replaces it with a heavy, empty ache that desperately needs to be filled for your sake. your mouths melt together, lips parting and tongues spreading the taste of the other in your mouths. minho's free hand hooks into the flesh of your hip to trap you, to stop them from rolling and grinding onto his lap, your cunt desperate to feel every inch of him. these touches feel like the start of forever. you want to touch him until his name is written on every atom used to craft you. in your eyes, the meaning of forever cannot hold you down from him.

desperation sits heavy on your tongue, and you want to plead and beg for minho to love you the same way tomorrow, and the next month, and the year after that. your fingers claw into his skin, and you shudder when he kisses your tongue with the same amount of devilishness he uses to charm your need for him into something carnal. minho pulls away from you, and you see his eyes light up as his mouth fills with something to say. words. you've had enough words for a lifetime, and yet you always find yourself stopping to hear his. you expect minho to maintain his gentlemanly behaviour, as he always did.

"do you trust me?" he asks, cryptically, his eyes gleaming and you're sure you can hear him purr if you concentrate on it over your thumping heart. with every breath in my body, you want to say. you do not; instead you kiss his temple and mutter, "of course." as sweetly and as genuine as one can muster when their body is aching for an orgasmic release. minho urges you off of his lap, and you follow his lead, slowly and curiously. you watch him with your head tilted to the side in fascination. even when you do not speak, a beautiful, sweet glow grows between the both of you.

his fingertips smoothed up the fabric of your sweatpants, pulling them and your underwear off in one motion. you instinctively closed your legs at the biting cold, a gasp leaving your throat and a shiver striking through you. minho's hands cupped both of your knees, "i need you to open up, sweetheart." can you do that for me? his eyes said, watching you intently. you have so much of him in your heart that it urges you to give in, to surrender yourself to minho and trust him, like you always do. so, you do exactly that.

you let minho place one of your legs above his shoulders, the inside of your knee fitting together against the curve of his shoulder like a puzzle. he buried himself between your legs, throwing himself to your body like you were an altar, and he a sacrifice. your cheeks burned — you felt so vulnerable and exposed. minho's thumbs spreads open your sex, unraveling you like a scholar would unravel the pages of a book: ravishing each morsel and dedicating a part of their life to it. minho kisses the inside of your thighs, the tip of his nose brushing against your skin and you sob. he is the only person to come this close to you.

at the feeling of his warm breath on your sex, you shudder, thighs tensing as you suck in a breath. you see minho's eyes stare into yours, peering up at you tenderly through his lashes. "let me take care of you. i promise you'll be okay." his voice is angelic as he purrs into your cunt. it makes you feel sinful, and you strangely surrender yourself into the feeling. you nod, "i trust you, minho." you breathe into a whisper. it takes a great effort not to allow your legs to squirm in minho's arms as he collects your arousal on his thumb, sampling your taste and spreading it through his mouth. is everything he does always this sexy?

he nestles into the softness of your thighs, the soft pink swells of his lips experimentally mouthing at your wet, velvet soft sex. you slope into his touch, soft and light moans sneaking into the cycle of your shaky breaths. pleased with your reaction, minho kisses your cunt just as intensely as he kissed your mouth, his tongue sinking into your slit and setting ablaze something that resided in the cage of your hips. your heel scattered around his toned back, hips bucking into his touch — you feel minho's warm spit drizzle down the inside of your legs from your sudden movement, and his mouth dips down to collect it like the world's most devoted servant.

the winter night has leeched enough heat from the earth to give you goosebumps; and you feel it is almost intentional. you feel minho smirk into your cunt and it's enough to drive you delirious. your desire for him begins to sound like hymns, and it gnaws through your restless skin and seeps into every corner of your mind. "need you," flutters from your mouth, drooling and lips parted. minho hums smugly at your confession, releasing himself from your cunt with an obscene smack. his head tilts up, swallowing his drool and your slick, his throat rolling in the sexiest way as he swallows, and immediately your half-working mind fed you with visions of suckling, kissing, and tonguing his neck.

minho covers your entire sex with his sweetly intense, red hot mouth. he chuckles fondly into your cunt when your fingernails press and dig into his forearms; when your back arches into his tongue and when you mewl out his name like you had just discovered it. you cry out minho's name over and over, until you're sure it's etched somewhere inside of your throat. the flat of minho's pink tongue rakes and slides against your slit, top to bottom and back up again. you sink into his touch and pray for his mercy as the tip of his nose bumps and prods at your sore, puffy clit. it has your lungs pouring out a squeal, until there's no breath left in you.

"fuck, don't shut up. no-one's around to hear." minho moans into you, eyeing the way your lips parted to sob and mewl his name. he gives your clit a satisfied kiss at the way you quickly obeyed him, his soft lips wrapping around your swollen clit and devotedly sucking. it puts goosebumps on his skin, at the way your fingers brush the wispy dark stray hairs out of minho’s face, clinging onto his hair and holding on for dear life; similarly, it feels like the same way he held onto your thighs. possessive.

you feel tears brim at your eyes, and you’re unsure of the meaning behind them. are you close to crying because of unfathomable pleasures that you’re unsure you can ever come down from – or because you don’t know if this is the first and last time that minho openly touches and loves you like he is now. he loves you continuously, and intensely, and you cannot bear to let this warm moment fade into a memory that will leave you utterly cold.

minho’s middle finger slips into your sobbing cunt, and the coldness of his skin inside of your searing heat tears a noise from your throat that makes him smirk. your heel digs into the hard, toned plane of his back. you want to tell him just how excellent of a job he’s doing, but when you try, all that comes out is “god minho!”. it makes the man in question chuckle at the double meaning. most commonly, it would be heard as ‘god, minho!’ — but his ego hears it as ‘god: minho!’ and it makes him want to worship you impossibly better than he already is.

how his jaw isn't tired, you don't know. with his skilled mouth, minho paints you a heaven of love with everything he's wanted to say. he's not pressed so tightly to you to preserve heat in the bitter, desolate mountains. your relationship with your bodyguard is complicated in every way. you want nothing more than to love each other the way your hearts beg to — but your lives obstruct that only wish. people talk, and in both of your worlds, these people are dangerous and will exploit your unity until the love for each other has been gutted and ripped from your tired, weary bodies. it is unsafe to brush your thumb over minho's lips, and it is unsafe to whisper 'i love you's', even when you're both deep into the night.

but here? where nothing else exists but each other, you are free to let the years worth of accumulated love flow freely from your bodies. but you know you will not stay like this forever. now that you've gotten this close; now that you've held his face, and hands, and body, you do not want to let go. but, eventually, you must. and you must let things go back to how they once were, as you did once before after minho cradled your sobbing body and tucked you into his bleeding middle, and kissed you so lovingly — so intensely, that you still feel the raw divinity of it all bleeding from the memory of his soft, soft pink lips.

he leaves your sobbing, sensitive body with a chaste, satisfied kiss. "beautiful." you hear him mutter, his voice soft and light. you, in your half-mad daze, stir after a few moments. minho's body heat is replaced by absolutely nothing. you give him a look he knows too well. what are you doing, he reads on your face. he smiles fondly, wiping your slick off of his lips and chin, "i want you to be closer to me. for your first time, you deserve intimacy." minho kisses up your torso, hands gliding up your thighs, over your hips. you lay there, bewildered by his honesty, his touch, his voice. there's no way he's real. you must have made him up in your mind, you're half sure of it. half sure because my god no one person could ever cook up someone this profound on their own. whichever god let minho out of their army is a fool.

your relationship with minho is always tested. when you first met him, he was cold and blunt and everything frustrating. his body was leaner then, and less experienced. he was mouthy and would always get into trouble, which rubbed off on you just as he was growing out of that phase. which, of course, birthed a new dynamic of minho having to pull you out of confrontations kicking and screaming and, many times, sobbing about how much you hated him. obviously you could never hate minho — but you were hurting, and so you wanted to hurt him the same way. in many instances, you confused 'i hate you' with 'i love you', when it came to minho. you had never surrendered yourself entirely to anyone before, and you are only now realising that minho had surrendered himself to you since the first day he met you. back then, the both of you were too scared to let your hearts speak, but when you and he are pressed together like this; his lips on your skin and your hands smoothing down his hair, you don't think you can ever go about life silently ever again.

you nod in surrender, sinking into his melodic voice like a rock in water, your hips aching with arousal and your skin flushed. you trust minho completely, and you show this by winding your hands around his neck, thumbs on his cheeks and fingers splayed in his hair and on his neck, and bring him into your kiss, pressing your lips to minho's like you were a love potion, sweet and hypnotic and so close to making his heart stop with each quick, needy peck on his plump, pink lips. you can feel his smile and you can see it written all over his face when you open your half-lidded eyes to see him: his long, thick lashes kissing the swells of his cheeks as his teeth peek out and his ears flush red. in your haze, you don't realise you've both sat up until you feel your hips absentmindedly rocking on your lap, desperate for friction and dripping on your sticky skin.

minho's large, veiny hand puts your fingertips on his belt. you don't remember when he took off his weapons from his holsters, but they're forgotten about and discarded somewhere on the icy cabin floor. your kiss is broken, but your love spell is not, and as you look into minho's deep brown eyes you see his love for you in them, shining like pearls on the ocean floor. you palm the rough leathery feel of his belt, and you realise what he's asking of you. he wants you to do this part — he wants it to be you who opens him up. minho's hot- scalding hot mouth kisses your neck and his teeth nips at your skin and you don't remember how you got his belt off, just that you did.

you want to tell him not to hold back, to pour everything out and let himself be vulnerable. for years he has swarmed your mind and forced you to guess everything about him — he has been your torturer in more ways than one ever since you met him. your time before knowing minho felt like a lifetime ago. maybe you weren't truly living until you heard his sweet voice purring in your ear and his commanding, skilled hands brushing against your skin with a challenging glint in his brown eyes. you plant a kiss on minho's jaw, a silent plea, the sounds of your wet lips smacking against his skin made him smirk, the skin of his deep cupid's bow curving into a smile.

the closest you and minho could get to each other wasn't nearly close enough. your eyes closed, hands winding around his body and your lips parted in concentration. your mind was slowly shutting down, allowing all sensations to your body to become the only thing that proves you're existing. that memory of the morning beach and the fresh feeling of minho's lips on your own is the last thing you think of: the salty ocean in the air and minho's body heat leaping out of his chest as he held you, just as you hold him now. even then, in his own way, he was trying to protect you.

minho's veiny hand holds the base of his warm, girthy cock as he introduces the head of his cock onto your dripping cunt. he gives you a once over, his paradoxically bambi-esque, feline eyes landing on yours. do you want this? his deep brown eyes ask. it melts your heart in more ways than one, and you give him a slow, deliberate nod.

“i won’t hurt you.” minho mutters, voice warm, as his dark eyes carefully linger on your eyes. he waits, until you give him a response, always looking for your consent. if someone were to cut you up and take a look at your heart, you feel as though it would be tender and bleeding and undoubtedly minho’s. your hand caresses his jaw for a moment.

“i know you won’t.” you don't realise you're smiling until minho's thumb brushes against your soft lips, trying to feel the words on your mouth. you take his hand in yours, fingers knotting together as he eases into you, piercing your entrance with his length and filling you up completely. you squeeze both his cock and his hand at the same time, tightening significantly when minho's sweat sticky chest hovered over yours, in all of his muscular, warm glory.

with faces in each other's necks, pulses in the other's ears, you realise breath by breath that you had been craving and needing this for years. minho kneels before you, his hand wrapped around your thigh to secure your position. you feel minho's throbbing cock in your sex with every breath, and the closer he inches inside of you, the worse the ache hits you all at once. his touch is like lightning, thunder clapping in your mind and electricity spreading mercilessly throughout your body. your fingernails press into minho's skin, a whimper bursting through your lips as he presses his hips into yours, his hilt just barely visible to him and your slick covering the both of you.

"you look perfect," minho mutters, thumb stroking your thigh. "just tell me when, beautiful." he cooed, somehow more than happy to kneel in a suspended state of pleasure just for your sake. he's perfectly content to just be in your soul as he always is; tormenting you. minho fills you to the brim and at your command, gives you two deep, fulfilling grinds into your sex, his brows furrowing and his eyes closing as he loses himself in your hot, deep cunt. the sounds are obscene and you're infinitely grateful minho happened to fuck you where no-one else could hear.

a part of you wants to be stained and branded as his, in fear he would ever leave you. but, for minho, the pain of living without you would be unimaginable. it's decided then and there, that in his next life, he would search for you and make you his; just as he is doing now. it's took him long enough. yours and minho's sweat tacky skin sticks together with a mind of their own, and following in your bodies' footsteps, you plant a kiss to minho's plump lips, then his nose bridge, his temple, begging and urging him on.

minho's hips and by extension, his cock, ruts into your sex; your sticky, wet arousal mixing and giving the illusion that you and he are melting into one another. you couldn't say where you end and he began. you swallow a sob, cunt clenching like molten silk on minho's length. he frowns at this, withdrawing his hips from you and leaving you in agonising emptiness, his lips on the shell of your ear and his hand forgetting your thigh and smoothing back your hair, "let me hear you." he muttered in that caramel voice of his. his tone was teasing and loving and commanding all at once.

who are you to deny him?

you squirm and squeal in his grip as minho’s wet, pink mouth kisses and licks down your torso, leaving a blazing trail of spit on your skin. at the same time, his slick, warm cock caresses your slit before sinking back into your waiting, inviting cunt. you live solely on the honey of his touch, intoxicated by the way minho truly savours every curve and inch of you. ironically enough, minho knows you too well, and he would like nothing more than to forget you for this moment; so he could discover and love you for the first time all over again.

the way minho’s length rutted into the scalding, blazing hollow of your sex between the cage of your hips could rewrite your history entirely. mewl after moan escaped from your lips, only contributing to the obscene sounds in the cabin: yours and minho’s moans mixed with the vulgar sounds of minho fucking your shared arousal into your sex, paired with the sound of the only bed creaking and smacking against the cabin wall created the perfect cocktail of ambience noise. the sensations of his touch is unimaginable and it leaves you melting into the mattress, mindless and drunk off of the entirely new experience. with every passing second, minho is immensely grateful that there’s no-one around the cabin you’re staying in for miles. not that it matters much, anyway: you’re the only person that exists when you’re caged between his arms like this. everyone else ceases to exist the moment you wind your hands around his neck and your dripping sex flutters beautifully around him.

the taste of the trying pains of loving the unavailable minho for years dissolve in your mouth. your eyes roll back in bliss while your eyelids start to close simultaneously, fingers hooked into minho’s burning hot skin. your hips meet his thrusts into you, the sound oddly reminiscent of waves colliding. minho likes it when your hips meet his, and he especially likes the noises you make when you meet like two magnets.

“does that feel good?” he asks when the tip of his cock hits a particularly sensitive spot inside of you. he’s teasing you — of course he knows it feels good. he just wants to hear you say it, to stroke his ego. nails digging further into his toned muscle, you swallow a cry and nod, complicit with his plans. you’re unsure what you end up mewling out, stuck between recalling it as ‘so good’, or ‘you’re good’. either way, minho almost purrs at the praise and adjusts your hips around his sides, skilled hands holding you in place as he gives you a good view of his veiny, tanned arms. with a slight change of positions you are introduced to a new world of sensations.

minho’s cock sears into you, setting your inexperienced sex ablaze. you squeal, tears flowing down your flushed cheeks and your throat growing hoarse as you let out a stringed moan that’s interrupted and punctuated with each thrust minho bestows upon you. in other words, you’re completely lost in the feeling of minho’s wonderfully skilled cock burying itself into your aching, puffy cunt.

deep within the night, minho lets you in on what he’s thinking. “can’t believe you’re this innocent..” he swoons, smirking as his hand strokes your leg, still in the perfect position he manoeuvred you into. your eyes open to glare at him, regardless if his searing hot, hard cock is giving you all the relief your body could’ve wanted. the sight above you makes you fall in love with him all over again. minho has his eyes closed, long thick lashes resting on the swells of his cheeks, pink swollen lips parted and cheeks beginning to flush as his brows furrow in concentration. his body seemed carved out of marble as it laid bare above you; like some lost piece of art. each inch of tanned muscle and raised scar and mole made you want to throw yourself onto his altar and worship him at his temple. you knew he would protect you as a god, too.

he wants to take it slow- he truly does, he tries so hard, especially considering it’s your first time — but minho concludes you feel too good and the pleased moans that flows from your lips like honey are too beautiful to ignore. your touch only entices him, drawing him in to guzzle down your love potion like his life depends on it. the temperature between your sweaty, clammy bodies climbs drastically; a contrast between the rigidly biting cold that lay inside and outside the cabin. minho’s hips ruts into you and his throat pours out a groan, guttaral and deep and drawn out as your slick cunt pulses with the weight of minho’s cock inside of you, pressing onto your guts and leaving your mind entirely fuzzy, silent almost.

the only thing keeping your mind from being fully silent is minho’s sounds repeating like a broken record. he presses his skin against yours, “wanted to do this to you f’ so long,” he slurs, clearly drunk on electrifying pleasure as his hips piston wildly and desperately into your sex, his biceps flexing as he anchors himself to the mattress. if you had half a mind to form a coherent thought, you would’ve scolded him for not fucking you sooner — but instead you answer him by letting your teeth sink into his neck, barely enough to bruise but enough for minho, even in his sex maddened daze, to differentiate it from a playful nip.

he cries out a moan, so loud you’re sure you physically felt it. your cunt clenches in response, almost purring at his sounds as your calves flail across his back in a pathetically amateurish attempt to bring minho closer to you. no matter what, you’re never satisfied with the lack of distance. perhaps it’s because you have years of experience seeing him so far away from you, but you feel as though minho could disappear through your hands like smoke at any given moment: you need him close at all times. even when he’s the closest to you he’s ever been, it cannot compete with the way your chest bleeds from the distance between you.

love isn’t gentle like people say. in songs, paintings, poems - any forms of art, really, love is always expressed as a wonderfully soft feeling that makes one feel as though their life has only just begun. but, for you and minho, love has claws and teeth which wounds never fully heal from each blow to the soul. love, for you, is a bleeding, agonising feeling that drives you mad, yet you find yourself always crawling back for another bite.

minho’s thrusts grow erratic, less rhythmic and more grinding into your newly deflowered cunt, desperate and meaner, as if he’s trying to split you open. it certainly feels that way, each slam of his hips into yours is reminiscent of a whip, slashing your skin and leaving it searing red, burning hot and without a doubt bruising in the morning. it turns less like a journey and more like a crusade — like an animalistic, primal pilgrimage that needs to leave marks in case either of you forget this night ever happened.

you struggle to find air; your mouth exhaling moans and whimpers and your nose buried into minho’s neck, close to his pulse just to feel that he’s alive, breathing and you’re not, in fact, dreaming. minho’s tone graduates from whispers to mutters to borderline yelling. you have the excitement and passion to thank for that. minho’s close, you can tell. his forearms brackets your head as he mouths kisses on your pulse, nose pressed into your jawline and scarred chest flush against your pristine skin. he jackhammers his pulsing cock into your sopping, achingly puffy cunt with so much force and vehemence you’re unsure if he loves you or hates you. he beings to forget his strength, and you’re already dreading the soreness your body will greet you with when you wake tomorrow.

your blood swirls in your head, your ears hearing it more clearer over minho’s muttering, but the few words you can make out makes your back arch and your eyes roll, mindless and so pleased to finally let minho take you like this. you hear things like ‘all mine’, ‘ruined f’ anyone else’, and ‘gorgeous like this, taking me so well’. it puts a heat in the cage of your hips so burning, intense like molten lava and even then you’d rather a thousand burning suns than this violent heat. tears trickle down your face, rolling and collecting in the hollow of your collarbones, thighs twitching and despite not even standing you want nothing more than to collapse in on yourself.

minho, on the other hand, digs his fingernails into every inch of your skin, pushing himself inside of you so eagerly you genuinely let out a cry, chest heaving as he bottoms out, the feverish desire for you reaching its high as he ruts his hips into you, balls sore and heavy as his orgasm finds him more intensely and quicker than a gunshot. it’s almost instant: like a flash of white, he’s pumping your cunt with pearly hot cum with his throat exposed, fully vulnerable.

the stringy fluid between the both of you is never ending, your own orgasm hitting you so harshly that your voice falls silent, eyes screwed shut and clutching minho’s hand so tightly that blood cannot get to his fingers. you’re sobbing; writhing under him, cunt spasming and lungs thrashing inside of your body, desperate to get air inside themselves. devoted, loving minho is there to coax you through it, kissing at your sweat slicked temple and brushing hair out of your face, “attagirl, you’re alright, breathe, sweetheart. i’ve got you, there we go, deep breaths, such a good girl you are,” he coos, fawning over you and stroking your arm.

you swear that as you hit your orgasm, you felt realms blur together and as you unavoidably came down from your high, you’re disoriented and unsure which plane of reality you’ve landed on. you’re exhausted and you’re seeing everything from a different perspective, and you realise even from above, fucked out and more exhausted than you, minho looks angelic. his golden skin is glistening and glowing in the dim light like a statue, and you want nothing more than to take him in your arms and kiss him until there’s no love left in your body.

you pay no mind to the wetness of cum flowing out of your sex in sporadic waves, instead busying yourself with showering minho in a heaven of love, courtesy of your kisses and sweet talk. he blushes and smiles at your kisses, his arm wrapping you into his chest and holding the back of your head loosely and protectively.

on the brink of falling asleep, you realise you couldn’t care less if you’re not the same devoted lovers tomorrow, or even after your retreat to a desolate mountain cabin is finished. all that matters is now — and you’ve both expressed that if it was up to you, this night would be an everyday occurrence, as is falling asleep next to each other and the obligatory ‘i love yous’. now that you’re worn out, on your side and half asleep already, you nestle into minho’s body and surrender yourself to any outcome. the memory of this night is enough to keep you from a lifetime of longing and want. once again, your minho has proven his devotion to you, and once again you find yourself feeling invincible in his touch.

on the fragile knife’s edge of sleep, minho strokes your clammy skin and you’re certain you hear him mutter into your hair: “i don’t think i want to go back to being minho. i want to stay yours forever. won’t you let me?” and even half asleep, your heart simultaneously flutters and crumbles. the first thing you’ll do tomorrow is kiss him until your lips are bruised and tell minho over and over again how he cannot be anything but yours — no matter who objects, no matter the danger, you and minho will remain as you did tonight.

[killedpink]

i wasn't that confident in this work when i published it, but now that you've said such kind and wonderful things about it i'm so happy i published it regardless of my feelings towards it, so thank you so much ♡ it really means a lot that you liked it ! got me giggling and blushing !

[selcouthfawn]

angel, you’re truly amazing. you are such an amazing writer. i cannot wrap my mind around it. i absolutely love and adore you. you are a work of art at its finest. i love youuuu <33 so grateful to have u as my friend.

[killedpink]

ryyyyy :((( STOP THIS RN IM THE GRATEFUL ONE! so so sooo lucky to have you as a friend bby, you encourage me sm you have no idea 🩷 ilysm thank you so much for always being my friend ry pooks <3

[killedpink]

이 민호 | reflecting light.

🎧 masterlist !?

💭 synopsis: after years of a push and pull relationship with your assigned bodyguard, you leap at the opportunity to get inside his head when you're stuck in a cabin miles from society. what you don't expect is that he wants the same thing that you yearn for.

🐈‍⬛ word count: 8.3k

📂 contains: female reader, bodyguard minho, mutual pining, unestablished relationship, food mention, pet names, virgin reader, first time, oral sex, cum consumption, hair pulling, marking, noise kink, slight fingering, corruption kink, unprotected sex, creampie.

there's no heat in the sun. it's the light that wakes you, tangled in bedsheets and your sleep tender body shielding your eyes from the unwelcome light. the space in the bed next to you is beginning to freeze. minho's gone. he's usually the first to wake in the morning. in other words: you're not worried he's wandered off. that's not his job. that's not who he is.

it takes you longer than you'd like to admit for you to roll out of the warm, lonely bed.

you spot him at the kitchen counter, the oak island flooded with wood-chips, food containers and weapons. you sit at one of the stools, face in your hands as you watch minho cook. pancakes. you smile at the realisation, fondness welling up in your half groggy mind.

"good morning." he mutters absentmindedly, baritone voice husky. it hasn't been long since he woke himself, you conclude. he's uncharacteristically chatty this morning. usually, the only chatter you hear before seven is the sizzle of breakfast onto the hot metal frypan. yet again, this whole outing has been different. the circumstances weren't: someone was close to hurting you and your dutiful minho took you out of the equation. but laying next to you? holding your sleeping body? striking a conversation for the fun of it? minho rarely, if ever did things like these. it distracted him, as he put it. better an awkward silence than your life on the line, he'd insist, plump lips in a tiny frown.

you turn to the window, watching the still world outside in fascination. the wintery breath in the air sinks down in a sheer fog, frosting the pane and obscuring the earth's memory of summer. "yes, it is," you smile, eyes squinting to find the outline of the half thawed lake.

minho pushes the plate of pancakes in front of you without another word. his back is facing you again. you sigh, "are we going to talk about last night?" he turns to you curiously, without saying anything. you feel something build inside of you. a feeling you haven't felt for a long, long while. it irks you — his professionalism is by far one of the most frustrating qualities of minho. it is simultaneously attractive and infuriating.

both of his hands hold the edge of the table, leaning closer to you, "you can talk. i'll listen." minho raises a brow expectantly. his hair is getting longer again; a dark, rich brown that shines an almost red when the light manages to catch it just right. it hangs in mid air, semi obscuring his deep chestnut eyes — everything about him was so feline.

you sigh in faux resignation, a lick of fury lingering in a corner of your heart. "you haven't been that close to me since.." you pause, trying not to swallow your words. minho gave you an opportunity to talk. you'd be a fool not to prove your capabilities to him. "since the beach." he finishes coolly, a knowing glint lingering in his dark eyes as he stares at you through his long black lashes. you nod, at a loss for words.

one of his hands ruffles his hair, huffing in restraint. "i didn't mean to argue with you last night. i was.." he paused, tips of his ears beginning to burn. "i held you because i was trying to apologise. i was harsh, and i regret that." there are mere inches in-between the both of you.

as much as it hurts to say, because it means you have to realise it, you are dissatisfied with minho's apology. "you apologise to me, but you'll do it again." minho visibly bristled at your response, despite his admirable efforts to contain himself. he shook his head, "that's unfair." his voice was sentimental, open and vulnerable.

you waited, soundlessly.

"it's my job to keep you safe. i've done that — i still do that. if i tell you everything, i will be killing you. don't you understand that? you can't know the things i do and expect to be safe. i devote my life to keeping you protected, so can't you do the one thing i ask?"

you bit down on your tongue, and your gaze loitered on minho's face with a profound sense of regret and admiration. even in unimaginable amounts of hurt and frustration, he had never raised his voice at you. your eyes glittered with tears. shameful tears. they're heavier and saltier than ones of happiness, or of sadness. if it was possible, your tears seemed to hurt minho more than it did you. his lips parted, showing off his bunny teeth, and the swell of his top lip looked even plumper. his eyes softened, into big, round stars.

you dig the heels of your hands into your wet eyes, "i'm so sorry, minho." and you truly are. he moves to hold you, his hands stroke your hair and he doesn't flinch when you bury your tear soaked face into his torso. softly, with hands as gentle as rain, he tucks you away into his arms.

"you have nothing to apologise for, sweetheart. eat your breakfast, okay?" minho's strong hand rubbed up and down the length of your back delicately, as if he were unsure if you would break. you nod weakly, guilt still devouring you from the inside out.

he called you sweetheart, you realised.

sweetheart. it sounded fascinating in his beautiful mouth.

_

the crackling fire felt worthless. cold still managed to seep into your bones — your aching, heavy bones. the only warmth you felt was from minho, who sprawled himself out on you from the left. he smelled heavenly. his skin was soft, and you could feel the outline of his muscles through his shirt. there was little room to move under the shared blanket. it all felt so domestic. so.. right. this is how you wanted to be with minho. but, you know he's only this close with you to preserve heat in the winter night. it turns the butterflies in your stomach and the unfiltered swoon in your head sour. you sink into the bed, eyes fixated on the brightly flickering fire.

"i hate that we're like this.." you mutter out loud, voice raw and likely catching on the emotion in your tone. you prepare to elaborate if minho bites. you expect him to whip his head to face you and beg you to expand on your statement. he doesn't.

"i know. i'm sorry." minho's voice is husky. he buries his head into the nape of your neck, a cool nose pressing against your warm skin. it forces goosebumps from you — eager and persistent. your hands ball into fists, your bottom lip wobbling. it hurts to be this close to him; because you are always craving more.

"why can't we be like this every day?" you ask, futilely. the more you try to understand about minho, the more you realise you don't know anything about him. he was an enigma, in body and soul. you felt him nuzzle into your skin in thought. his hand, rosy at the knuckles, delicately caresses your arm, and his actions speak for him. 'i want to be like this, too.' it weeps.

"i.. i don't know." minho answers truthfully. is it possible he truly doesn't know? it seems unlike him. you want to unwrap his secrets like flower petals, to open them fully and allow him to bloom in the rays of your sun. "i want us to be like this every day. i am sorry."

minho. gentle, determined, golden minho. his tone is sweet and his voice heavy. you hear the pain in his mind when he speaks. how can he apologise? the words feel wrong coming out of his mouth. they turn into knives and twist inside of your gut. your hand falls from your lap to hold minho's hand; and you give it an affectionate squeeze. a medley of 'i love you', and 'you have nothing to be sorry for' translates from your wordless affection.

with the wood devouring fire singing in the background, you decide your next words.

"how about.." you begin, trying to ignore the sounds of your thumping, childish heart in your ears. "we hang up the titles and the statuses — just for tonight — and be who we want to be?"

"i would like that very much." minho chuckles, and you feel his smile on your bare skin. you revel in it, and you're suddenly glad you're miles off of the grid, because you're sure minho's beaming would make every lightbulb burst with his brightness. "who do you want to be tonight, minho?" you inquire. minho's brain doesn't even register what he utters, his mouth working mindlessly and without restraint; just as you promised.

"yours."

you twist in his lap like a cloud, light and gleaming. gingerly, the pads of your fingers glide over minho's face to brush the light-kissed hair from his eyes. the apples of his cheeks peek through and his eyes crinkle into crescent moons as he smiles at your touch. the contours of his angelic face are made impossibly prettier by the firelight. his plump, rounded lips glow from the warm light of the fire — he looks so homely. minho notices your staring.

"kiss me. i've wanted it long enough," he pleads, breathless.

and so, you kiss him. in a flurry, your lips glide over minho's; his top lip captured between your teeth. his lips are warm and wet and soft and so addictive. you sigh into the kiss as you realise this is all you've wanted. ever since he kissed you in that forgotten beach where the cave will never hold the same water, you've been haunted by his soft, soft skin and his devoted touch. when you're in his arms everything clicks into place.

your lips migrate from his mouth, and stop on minho's cheeks. his skin is soft, there, too. then the jaw. nose. chin. forehead. cheekbone. you cannot stop yourself. you feel his teeth peek out from his pink lips in a smile. you love him and it's getting worse. you kiss him, intending to search and understand him. you move on your own, and adoringly kiss every inch of him that he presents to you. and minho is ready for you love. he cannot go another day of choking it back — not when it feels this enriching. you want to sob, and wail at the emotions welling up inside of you. you touch each other with the most excruciating tenderness. you use a lifetime of love to pour into minho. you keep hold of each time he made you laugh, and smile and feel safe, and thrust it all back to him, each swoon-worthy memory replaying in your head and devoting a kiss to it.

your kisses are thank yous, and i love yous, and i miss yous, and i forgive yous all at once.

the moon has never seen either of you like this before. the only time you've ever kissed was under the watchful eye of the morning sun, its rays exploding on the ocean's horizon and glittering over your shadowy cave. your lips regrettably part from minho's. he rests his forehead on yours, his unearthly lips parted and his watery brown eyes gleaming like a spell under the soft orange glow of the fire.

"from the moment i kissed you, i have not been alive since. my heart beats only for you." minho's voice is smoky, and it doesn't dare travel far. his eyes gaze into yours, and many words appear in your mind to help comprehend them: whiskey, ebony. almond, feline. sparkling. does he ever tire of being so beautiful? at times like these, where intimacy is first nature and no-one else in the world could dare to exist but each other, you conclude that it suits you fine if everyone else finds minho horrible. he is your secret. he is your minho. you love him like grief loves rain — endlessly and without restraint, end, or beginning.

you place a kiss to his temple, your eyes fluttered closed comfortably, "i am yours, minho. please, show me i am yours." you feel his chest vibrate with a low chuckle. the sound vines through your mind and its roots sink and grow into your heart. his touch sears into your skin. whether minho comes to you as a lover or an executioner, you are wholly ready to receive him.

minho's fingers cradle your cheeks, his hands gentle as he kisses up your neck. "tell me." he mutters. "do you want me because it's me," he nips at your throat. you shudder, eyes scrunched closed as you try to lose everything into his touch. "or do you want me because i'm the only one around?" he asks, and judging by his tone, he is impervious to either. your open palm presses against his chest. it pains you to clarify it, but you know it is because he has never been loved by anyone before.

"minho." you start. "no world exists in where i want you only for convenience." you see the way his shoulders twitch as he contains a sob. "in every lifetime, i love you." you watch him melt and unfold before you, his deep brown eyes filling with tears. minho blinks them away, slowly, "then, i want to be the last man to do this to you."

you can't help the smile on your lips from his assumption. you brought minho's brow level with your mouth, sore from longing, and sweetly kissed his forehead. his nose bridge is next — and it scrunches as he smiles. minho's face grew so quickly warm that you giggled. in the most unsubtle way possible, minho withdrew his hips so you wouldn't feel the heat there; he closed his pure, warm chestnut eyes, wordlessly begging you to continue. your mouth fell to his neck, peppering kisses in areas no-one would think to reach. "you are the first man to do this to me." you whisper against his jaw, and you swear you can feel his golden, tanned skin burst into a sizzling burn that rolls off of his body and onto yours.

his fingers find the hem of your thick sweater. he rolls the fabric between the pads of his fingers, "can i take this off?" minho asks. you nod, "of course." your voice is soft, slow and you realise you have waited your whole life for this moment. minho's skin is blazingly warm as he slides under your sweater and coaxed it off of your flushed body. you mirror his actions, tugging at his hoodie wordlessly. minho's movements blur together as they fly around his hoodie, leaving him shirtless and shivering from the onslaught of cold.

minho's golden skin was a plane of hard earned muscle. with a little help from the soft light, you could see occasional marks of fairer skin on his body. scars. his abs, ribs, arms and pecs were littered with shrapnel marks and in lesser places: bullet holes. his collarbones, like pillars, started at he base of his throat and spread to the ends of his shoulders. he was mythic, and held down by miles of smooth skin. at your staring, minho frowned. "it's not.. attractive, i know. i'm sorry." he bowed his head. had he gone mad?

"no." you protested, devoted fingers tracing the contours of his torso and running over the healed wounds. you watch a shiver roll down his spine at your touch, ghosting over his skin. he is so brave, and quiet, that you often forget of his suffering. "you do what you need to, i know. but, still — it suits you. minho, it's beyond attractive. it's impressive and.. beautiful." perhaps you had intended your words to be more profound, more complex, but at the sight of minho, you tend to lose your train of thought. your simple language was open; and it didn't hide how much you admired him. you love his scars because none of them come without a story. bravery, stupidity — as rare as it might be for him — minho has earned them all, and overcame them.

you delicately tuck a piece of wavy brunet hair behind minho's ear, stopping it from sweeping his ear. minho's eyes slipped closed for a moment, his thick lashes kissing the swells of his cheeks as he lets out a small, giddy laugh. it whirls around your head and makes your heart beat faster against your ribcage. it made your stomach flutter and twist like a gust of wind whipping through a spring-fresh tree. when minho opens his eyes again, his pupils look significantly more dilated than before, his pink tongue peeking out from his mouth to wet his lips. "can i touch you?"

your heart softens. a burning need to sob at his kindness overwhelms you and chokes your throat. "i get it's the gentleman thing to do," the pads of your fingers stroke his burning cheeks. "to keep asking me, but minho, you can do whatever you want to me."

you excite minho. he grins, scooping you onto his lap and burying his head into the crook of your neck, flushed skin against flushed skin. his fingers circle your hipbone, "i am only as gentlemanly as you want me to be." he muttered into your body, which trembles for his touch. you do not push minho away, instead hooking your fingers into the muscle of his shoulders and tug, pull, palm him closer to you. there will always be molecules between the both of you and it is infuriating.

like stars, the red of yours and minho's mouths collide. he breathes into your lungs; he is a wonderful creation and it's your first time seeing heaven. the deliciously veiny set of hands slide up from your hips, and he's brave enough to draw circles around your breasts with the pads of his thumbs. you expected to stay cold for a lot while longer; but your body grew scorching hot very soon. he has that effect on you. the feeling of his strong, muscular thighs between your legs forces your appetite for him to boil over in your gut.

minho had spent his whole life accommodating others. everything removable, and soft in him murdered and replaced with hardness and stoicism. vulnerably, he sits under you, open and waiting — begging for you to take him apart. his body pleads for you to sit on the bed of the long, toned muscle of his thigh. he prays you will rest your swirling head on the cushion of his stuttering heart. he is your home, do you not understand? make it yours.

your body tries to shudder as his index finger dips into the waistband of your sweatpants and traces your slit, minho's lips morphing into a smirk as he feels the damp fabric of your underwear. the texture of his veiny, strong hands feel so overwhelmingly good on your skin that you can't help yourself when your hips roll to follow his touch. your fingers sneak into his hair and tug at his roots, bringing his head up as you press your lips onto his. your insatiable mouth kissed minho with all the power you could possibly muster — making up for all the years, months, weeks, days, minutes, even seconds that your lips had not been touching.

the way minho carefully thumbs your clit replaces the fluttery, airy feeling of arousal in your gut to the exact opposite: he replaces it with a heavy, empty ache that desperately needs to be filled for your sake. your mouths melt together, lips parting and tongues spreading the taste of the other in your mouths. minho's free hand hooks into the flesh of your hip to trap you, to stop them from rolling and grinding onto his lap, your cunt desperate to feel every inch of him. these touches feel like the start of forever. you want to touch him until his name is written on every atom used to craft you. in your eyes, the meaning of forever cannot hold you down from him.

desperation sits heavy on your tongue, and you want to plead and beg for minho to love you the same way tomorrow, and the next month, and the year after that. your fingers claw into his skin, and you shudder when he kisses your tongue with the same amount of devilishness he uses to charm your need for him into something carnal. minho pulls away from you, and you see his eyes light up as his mouth fills with something to say. words. you've had enough words for a lifetime, and yet you always find yourself stopping to hear his. you expect minho to maintain his gentlemanly behaviour, as he always did.

"do you trust me?" he asks, cryptically, his eyes gleaming and you're sure you can hear him purr if you concentrate on it over your thumping heart. with every breath in my body, you want to say. you do not; instead you kiss his temple and mutter, "of course." as sweetly and as genuine as one can muster when their body is aching for an orgasmic release. minho urges you off of his lap, and you follow his lead, slowly and curiously. you watch him with your head tilted to the side in fascination. even when you do not speak, a beautiful, sweet glow grows between the both of you.

his fingertips smoothed up the fabric of your sweatpants, pulling them and your underwear off in one motion. you instinctively closed your legs at the biting cold, a gasp leaving your throat and a shiver striking through you. minho's hands cupped both of your knees, "i need you to open up, sweetheart." can you do that for me? his eyes said, watching you intently. you have so much of him in your heart that it urges you to give in, to surrender yourself to minho and trust him, like you always do. so, you do exactly that.

you let minho place one of your legs above his shoulders, the inside of your knee fitting together against the curve of his shoulder like a puzzle. he buried himself between your legs, throwing himself to your body like you were an altar, and he a sacrifice. your cheeks burned — you felt so vulnerable and exposed. minho's thumbs spreads open your sex, unraveling you like a scholar would unravel the pages of a book: ravishing each morsel and dedicating a part of their life to it. minho kisses the inside of your thighs, the tip of his nose brushing against your skin and you sob. he is the only person to come this close to you.

at the feeling of his warm breath on your sex, you shudder, thighs tensing as you suck in a breath. you see minho's eyes stare into yours, peering up at you tenderly through his lashes. "let me take care of you. i promise you'll be okay." his voice is angelic as he purrs into your cunt. it makes you feel sinful, and you strangely surrender yourself into the feeling. you nod, "i trust you, minho." you breathe into a whisper. it takes a great effort not to allow your legs to squirm in minho's arms as he collects your arousal on his thumb, sampling your taste and spreading it through his mouth. is everything he does always this sexy?

he nestles into the softness of your thighs, the soft pink swells of his lips experimentally mouthing at your wet, velvet soft sex. you slope into his touch, soft and light moans sneaking into the cycle of your shaky breaths. pleased with your reaction, minho kisses your cunt just as intensely as he kissed your mouth, his tongue sinking into your slit and setting ablaze something that resided in the cage of your hips. your heel scattered around his toned back, hips bucking into his touch — you feel minho's warm spit drizzle down the inside of your legs from your sudden movement, and his mouth dips down to collect it like the world's most devoted servant.

the winter night has leeched enough heat from the earth to give you goosebumps; and you feel it is almost intentional. you feel minho smirk into your cunt and it's enough to drive you delirious. your desire for him begins to sound like hymns, and it gnaws through your restless skin and seeps into every corner of your mind. "need you," flutters from your mouth, drooling and lips parted. minho hums smugly at your confession, releasing himself from your cunt with an obscene smack. his head tilts up, swallowing his drool and your slick, his throat rolling in the sexiest way as he swallows, and immediately your half-working mind fed you with visions of suckling, kissing, and tonguing his neck.

minho covers your entire sex with his sweetly intense, red hot mouth. he chuckles fondly into your cunt when your fingernails press and dig into his forearms; when your back arches into his tongue and when you mewl out his name like you had just discovered it. you cry out minho's name over and over, until you're sure it's etched somewhere inside of your throat. the flat of minho's pink tongue rakes and slides against your slit, top to bottom and back up again. you sink into his touch and pray for his mercy as the tip of his nose bumps and prods at your sore, puffy clit. it has your lungs pouring out a squeal, until there's no breath left in you.

"fuck, don't shut up. no-one's around to hear." minho moans into you, eyeing the way your lips parted to sob and mewl his name. he gives your clit a satisfied kiss at the way you quickly obeyed him, his soft lips wrapping around your swollen clit and devotedly sucking. it puts goosebumps on his skin, at the way your fingers brush the wispy dark stray hairs out of minho’s face, clinging onto his hair and holding on for dear life; similarly, it feels like the same way he held onto your thighs. possessive.

you feel tears brim at your eyes, and you’re unsure of the meaning behind them. are you close to crying because of unfathomable pleasures that you’re unsure you can ever come down from – or because you don’t know if this is the first and last time that minho openly touches and loves you like he is now. he loves you continuously, and intensely, and you cannot bear to let this warm moment fade into a memory that will leave you utterly cold.

minho’s middle finger slips into your sobbing cunt, and the coldness of his skin inside of your searing heat tears a noise from your throat that makes him smirk. your heel digs into the hard, toned plane of his back. you want to tell him just how excellent of a job he’s doing, but when you try, all that comes out is “god minho!”. it makes the man in question chuckle at the double meaning. most commonly, it would be heard as ‘god, minho!’ — but his ego hears it as ‘god: minho!’ and it makes him want to worship you impossibly better than he already is.

how his jaw isn't tired, you don't know. with his skilled mouth, minho paints you a heaven of love with everything he's wanted to say. he's not pressed so tightly to you to preserve heat in the bitter, desolate mountains. your relationship with your bodyguard is complicated in every way. you want nothing more than to love each other the way your hearts beg to — but your lives obstruct that only wish. people talk, and in both of your worlds, these people are dangerous and will exploit your unity until the love for each other has been gutted and ripped from your tired, weary bodies. it is unsafe to brush your thumb over minho's lips, and it is unsafe to whisper 'i love you's', even when you're both deep into the night.

but here? where nothing else exists but each other, you are free to let the years worth of accumulated love flow freely from your bodies. but you know you will not stay like this forever. now that you've gotten this close; now that you've held his face, and hands, and body, you do not want to let go. but, eventually, you must. and you must let things go back to how they once were, as you did once before after minho cradled your sobbing body and tucked you into his bleeding middle, and kissed you so lovingly — so intensely, that you still feel the raw divinity of it all bleeding from the memory of his soft, soft pink lips.

he leaves your sobbing, sensitive body with a chaste, satisfied kiss. "beautiful." you hear him mutter, his voice soft and light. you, in your half-mad daze, stir after a few moments. minho's body heat is replaced by absolutely nothing. you give him a look he knows too well. what are you doing, he reads on your face. he smiles fondly, wiping your slick off of his lips and chin, "i want you to be closer to me. for your first time, you deserve intimacy." minho kisses up your torso, hands gliding up your thighs, over your hips. you lay there, bewildered by his honesty, his touch, his voice. there's no way he's real. you must have made him up in your mind, you're half sure of it. half sure because my god no one person could ever cook up someone this profound on their own. whichever god let minho out of their army is a fool.

your relationship with minho is always tested. when you first met him, he was cold and blunt and everything frustrating. his body was leaner then, and less experienced. he was mouthy and would always get into trouble, which rubbed off on you just as he was growing out of that phase. which, of course, birthed a new dynamic of minho having to pull you out of confrontations kicking and screaming and, many times, sobbing about how much you hated him. obviously you could never hate minho — but you were hurting, and so you wanted to hurt him the same way. in many instances, you confused 'i hate you' with 'i love you', when it came to minho. you had never surrendered yourself entirely to anyone before, and you are only now realising that minho had surrendered himself to you since the first day he met you. back then, the both of you were too scared to let your hearts speak, but when you and he are pressed together like this; his lips on your skin and your hands smoothing down his hair, you don't think you can ever go about life silently ever again.

you nod in surrender, sinking into his melodic voice like a rock in water, your hips aching with arousal and your skin flushed. you trust minho completely, and you show this by winding your hands around his neck, thumbs on his cheeks and fingers splayed in his hair and on his neck, and bring him into your kiss, pressing your lips to minho's like you were a love potion, sweet and hypnotic and so close to making his heart stop with each quick, needy peck on his plump, pink lips. you can feel his smile and you can see it written all over his face when you open your half-lidded eyes to see him: his long, thick lashes kissing the swells of his cheeks as his teeth peek out and his ears flush red. in your haze, you don't realise you've both sat up until you feel your hips absentmindedly rocking on your lap, desperate for friction and dripping on your sticky skin.

minho's large, veiny hand puts your fingertips on his belt. you don't remember when he took off his weapons from his holsters, but they're forgotten about and discarded somewhere on the icy cabin floor. your kiss is broken, but your love spell is not, and as you look into minho's deep brown eyes you see his love for you in them, shining like pearls on the ocean floor. you palm the rough leathery feel of his belt, and you realise what he's asking of you. he wants you to do this part — he wants it to be you who opens him up. minho's hot- scalding hot mouth kisses your neck and his teeth nips at your skin and you don't remember how you got his belt off, just that you did.

you want to tell him not to hold back, to pour everything out and let himself be vulnerable. for years he has swarmed your mind and forced you to guess everything about him — he has been your torturer in more ways than one ever since you met him. your time before knowing minho felt like a lifetime ago. maybe you weren't truly living until you heard his sweet voice purring in your ear and his commanding, skilled hands brushing against your skin with a challenging glint in his brown eyes. you plant a kiss on minho's jaw, a silent plea, the sounds of your wet lips smacking against his skin made him smirk, the skin of his deep cupid's bow curving into a smile.

the closest you and minho could get to each other wasn't nearly close enough. your eyes closed, hands winding around his body and your lips parted in concentration. your mind was slowly shutting down, allowing all sensations to your body to become the only thing that proves you're existing. that memory of the morning beach and the fresh feeling of minho's lips on your own is the last thing you think of: the salty ocean in the air and minho's body heat leaping out of his chest as he held you, just as you hold him now. even then, in his own way, he was trying to protect you.

minho's veiny hand holds the base of his warm, girthy cock as he introduces the head of his cock onto your dripping cunt. he gives you a once over, his paradoxically bambi-esque, feline eyes landing on yours. do you want this? his deep brown eyes ask. it melts your heart in more ways than one, and you give him a slow, deliberate nod.

“i won’t hurt you.” minho mutters, voice warm, as his dark eyes carefully linger on your eyes. he waits, until you give him a response, always looking for your consent. if someone were to cut you up and take a look at your heart, you feel as though it would be tender and bleeding and undoubtedly minho’s. your hand caresses his jaw for a moment.

“i know you won’t.” you don't realise you're smiling until minho's thumb brushes against your soft lips, trying to feel the words on your mouth. you take his hand in yours, fingers knotting together as he eases into you, piercing your entrance with his length and filling you up completely. you squeeze both his cock and his hand at the same time, tightening significantly when minho's sweat sticky chest hovered over yours, in all of his muscular, warm glory.

with faces in each other's necks, pulses in the other's ears, you realise breath by breath that you had been craving and needing this for years. minho kneels before you, his hand wrapped around your thigh to secure your position. you feel minho's throbbing cock in your sex with every breath, and the closer he inches inside of you, the worse the ache hits you all at once. his touch is like lightning, thunder clapping in your mind and electricity spreading mercilessly throughout your body. your fingernails press into minho's skin, a whimper bursting through your lips as he presses his hips into yours, his hilt just barely visible to him and your slick covering the both of you.

"you look perfect," minho mutters, thumb stroking your thigh. "just tell me when, beautiful." he cooed, somehow more than happy to kneel in a suspended state of pleasure just for your sake. he's perfectly content to just be in your soul as he always is; tormenting you. minho fills you to the brim and at your command, gives you two deep, fulfilling grinds into your sex, his brows furrowing and his eyes closing as he loses himself in your hot, deep cunt. the sounds are obscene and you're infinitely grateful minho happened to fuck you where no-one else could hear.

a part of you wants to be stained and branded as his, in fear he would ever leave you. but, for minho, the pain of living without you would be unimaginable. it's decided then and there, that in his next life, he would search for you and make you his; just as he is doing now. it's took him long enough. yours and minho's sweat tacky skin sticks together with a mind of their own, and following in your bodies' footsteps, you plant a kiss to minho's plump lips, then his nose bridge, his temple, begging and urging him on.

minho's hips and by extension, his cock, ruts into your sex; your sticky, wet arousal mixing and giving the illusion that you and he are melting into one another. you couldn't say where you end and he began. you swallow a sob, cunt clenching like molten silk on minho's length. he frowns at this, withdrawing his hips from you and leaving you in agonising emptiness, his lips on the shell of your ear and his hand forgetting your thigh and smoothing back your hair, "let me hear you." he muttered in that caramel voice of his. his tone was teasing and loving and commanding all at once.

who are you to deny him?

you squirm and squeal in his grip as minho’s wet, pink mouth kisses and licks down your torso, leaving a blazing trail of spit on your skin. at the same time, his slick, warm cock caresses your slit before sinking back into your waiting, inviting cunt. you live solely on the honey of his touch, intoxicated by the way minho truly savours every curve and inch of you. ironically enough, minho knows you too well, and he would like nothing more than to forget you for this moment; so he could discover and love you for the first time all over again.

the way minho’s length rutted into the scalding, blazing hollow of your sex between the cage of your hips could rewrite your history entirely. mewl after moan escaped from your lips, only contributing to the obscene sounds in the cabin: yours and minho’s moans mixed with the vulgar sounds of minho fucking your shared arousal into your sex, paired with the sound of the only bed creaking and smacking against the cabin wall created the perfect cocktail of ambience noise. the sensations of his touch is unimaginable and it leaves you melting into the mattress, mindless and drunk off of the entirely new experience. with every passing second, minho is immensely grateful that there’s no-one around the cabin you’re staying in for miles. not that it matters much, anyway: you’re the only person that exists when you’re caged between his arms like this. everyone else ceases to exist the moment you wind your hands around his neck and your dripping sex flutters beautifully around him.

the taste of the trying pains of loving the unavailable minho for years dissolve in your mouth. your eyes roll back in bliss while your eyelids start to close simultaneously, fingers hooked into minho’s burning hot skin. your hips meet his thrusts into you, the sound oddly reminiscent of waves colliding. minho likes it when your hips meet his, and he especially likes the noises you make when you meet like two magnets.

“does that feel good?” he asks when the tip of his cock hits a particularly sensitive spot inside of you. he’s teasing you — of course he knows it feels good. he just wants to hear you say it, to stroke his ego. nails digging further into his toned muscle, you swallow a cry and nod, complicit with his plans. you’re unsure what you end up mewling out, stuck between recalling it as ‘so good’, or ‘you’re good’. either way, minho almost purrs at the praise and adjusts your hips around his sides, skilled hands holding you in place as he gives you a good view of his veiny, tanned arms. with a slight change of positions you are introduced to a new world of sensations.

minho’s cock sears into you, setting your inexperienced sex ablaze. you squeal, tears flowing down your flushed cheeks and your throat growing hoarse as you let out a stringed moan that’s interrupted and punctuated with each thrust minho bestows upon you. in other words, you’re completely lost in the feeling of minho’s wonderfully skilled cock burying itself into your aching, puffy cunt.

deep within the night, minho lets you in on what he’s thinking. “can’t believe you’re this innocent..” he swoons, smirking as his hand strokes your leg, still in the perfect position he manoeuvred you into. your eyes open to glare at him, regardless if his searing hot, hard cock is giving you all the relief your body could’ve wanted. the sight above you makes you fall in love with him all over again. minho has his eyes closed, long thick lashes resting on the swells of his cheeks, pink swollen lips parted and cheeks beginning to flush as his brows furrow in concentration. his body seemed carved out of marble as it laid bare above you; like some lost piece of art. each inch of tanned muscle and raised scar and mole made you want to throw yourself onto his altar and worship him at his temple. you knew he would protect you as a god, too.

he wants to take it slow- he truly does, he tries so hard, especially considering it’s your first time — but minho concludes you feel too good and the pleased moans that flows from your lips like honey are too beautiful to ignore. your touch only entices him, drawing him in to guzzle down your love potion like his life depends on it. the temperature between your sweaty, clammy bodies climbs drastically; a contrast between the rigidly biting cold that lay inside and outside the cabin. minho’s hips ruts into you and his throat pours out a groan, guttaral and deep and drawn out as your slick cunt pulses with the weight of minho’s cock inside of you, pressing onto your guts and leaving your mind entirely fuzzy, silent almost.

the only thing keeping your mind from being fully silent is minho’s sounds repeating like a broken record. he presses his skin against yours, “wanted to do this to you f’ so long,” he slurs, clearly drunk on electrifying pleasure as his hips piston wildly and desperately into your sex, his biceps flexing as he anchors himself to the mattress. if you had half a mind to form a coherent thought, you would’ve scolded him for not fucking you sooner — but instead you answer him by letting your teeth sink into his neck, barely enough to bruise but enough for minho, even in his sex maddened daze, to differentiate it from a playful nip.

he cries out a moan, so loud you’re sure you physically felt it. your cunt clenches in response, almost purring at his sounds as your calves flail across his back in a pathetically amateurish attempt to bring minho closer to you. no matter what, you’re never satisfied with the lack of distance. perhaps it’s because you have years of experience seeing him so far away from you, but you feel as though minho could disappear through your hands like smoke at any given moment: you need him close at all times. even when he’s the closest to you he’s ever been, it cannot compete with the way your chest bleeds from the distance between you.

love isn’t gentle like people say. in songs, paintings, poems - any forms of art, really, love is always expressed as a wonderfully soft feeling that makes one feel as though their life has only just begun. but, for you and minho, love has claws and teeth which wounds never fully heal from each blow to the soul. love, for you, is a bleeding, agonising feeling that drives you mad, yet you find yourself always crawling back for another bite.

minho’s thrusts grow erratic, less rhythmic and more grinding into your newly deflowered cunt, desperate and meaner, as if he’s trying to split you open. it certainly feels that way, each slam of his hips into yours is reminiscent of a whip, slashing your skin and leaving it searing red, burning hot and without a doubt bruising in the morning. it turns less like a journey and more like a crusade — like an animalistic, primal pilgrimage that needs to leave marks in case either of you forget this night ever happened.

you struggle to find air; your mouth exhaling moans and whimpers and your nose buried into minho’s neck, close to his pulse just to feel that he’s alive, breathing and you’re not, in fact, dreaming. minho’s tone graduates from whispers to mutters to borderline yelling. you have the excitement and passion to thank for that. minho’s close, you can tell. his forearms brackets your head as he mouths kisses on your pulse, nose pressed into your jawline and scarred chest flush against your pristine skin. he jackhammers his pulsing cock into your sopping, achingly puffy cunt with so much force and vehemence you’re unsure if he loves you or hates you. he beings to forget his strength, and you’re already dreading the soreness your body will greet you with when you wake tomorrow.

your blood swirls in your head, your ears hearing it more clearer over minho’s muttering, but the few words you can make out makes your back arch and your eyes roll, mindless and so pleased to finally let minho take you like this. you hear things like ‘all mine’, ‘ruined f’ anyone else’, and ‘gorgeous like this, taking me so well’. it puts a heat in the cage of your hips so burning, intense like molten lava and even then you’d rather a thousand burning suns than this violent heat. tears trickle down your face, rolling and collecting in the hollow of your collarbones, thighs twitching and despite not even standing you want nothing more than to collapse in on yourself.

minho, on the other hand, digs his fingernails into every inch of your skin, pushing himself inside of you so eagerly you genuinely let out a cry, chest heaving as he bottoms out, the feverish desire for you reaching its high as he ruts his hips into you, balls sore and heavy as his orgasm finds him more intensely and quicker than a gunshot. it’s almost instant: like a flash of white, he’s pumping your cunt with pearly hot cum with his throat exposed, fully vulnerable.

the stringy fluid between the both of you is never ending, your own orgasm hitting you so harshly that your voice falls silent, eyes screwed shut and clutching minho’s hand so tightly that blood cannot get to his fingers. you’re sobbing; writhing under him, cunt spasming and lungs thrashing inside of your body, desperate to get air inside themselves. devoted, loving minho is there to coax you through it, kissing at your sweat slicked temple and brushing hair out of your face, “attagirl, you’re alright, breathe, sweetheart. i’ve got you, there we go, deep breaths, such a good girl you are,” he coos, fawning over you and stroking your arm.

you swear that as you hit your orgasm, you felt realms blur together and as you unavoidably came down from your high, you’re disoriented and unsure which plane of reality you’ve landed on. you’re exhausted and you’re seeing everything from a different perspective, and you realise even from above, fucked out and more exhausted than you, minho looks angelic. his golden skin is glistening and glowing in the dim light like a statue, and you want nothing more than to take him in your arms and kiss him until there’s no love left in your body.

you pay no mind to the wetness of cum flowing out of your sex in sporadic waves, instead busying yourself with showering minho in a heaven of love, courtesy of your kisses and sweet talk. he blushes and smiles at your kisses, his arm wrapping you into his chest and holding the back of your head loosely and protectively.

on the brink of falling asleep, you realise you couldn’t care less if you’re not the same devoted lovers tomorrow, or even after your retreat to a desolate mountain cabin is finished. all that matters is now — and you’ve both expressed that if it was up to you, this night would be an everyday occurrence, as is falling asleep next to each other and the obligatory ‘i love yous’. now that you’re worn out, on your side and half asleep already, you nestle into minho’s body and surrender yourself to any outcome. the memory of this night is enough to keep you from a lifetime of longing and want. once again, your minho has proven his devotion to you, and once again you find yourself feeling invincible in his touch.

on the fragile knife’s edge of sleep, minho strokes your clammy skin and you’re certain you hear him mutter into your hair: “i don’t think i want to go back to being minho. i want to stay yours forever. won’t you let me?” and even half asleep, your heart simultaneously flutters and crumbles. the first thing you’ll do tomorrow is kiss him until your lips are bruised and tell minho over and over again how he cannot be anything but yours — no matter who objects, no matter the danger, you and minho will remain as you did tonight.

[killedpink]

AWWW stop making me blush you're too kind! thank you sm for being so expressive i love it <3 so glad you enjoyed my word vomit, it means so much to hear you say such genuinely lovely things about my work ! tysm ♡

[zoe8stay]

💭 hyunjin bubble update

[killedpink]

hes so pretty >_> tysm for the pic !

[killedpink]

이 민호 | reflecting light.

🎧 masterlist !?

💭 synopsis: after years of a push and pull relationship with your assigned bodyguard, you leap at the opportunity to get inside his head when you're stuck in a cabin miles from society. what you don't expect is that he wants the same thing that you yearn for.

🐈‍⬛ word count: 8.3k

📂 contains: female reader, bodyguard minho, mutual pining, unestablished relationship, food mention, pet names, virgin reader, first time, oral sex, cum consumption, hair pulling, marking, noise kink, slight fingering, corruption kink, unprotected sex, creampie.

there's no heat in the sun. it's the light that wakes you, tangled in bedsheets and your sleep tender body shielding your eyes from the unwelcome light. the space in the bed next to you is beginning to freeze. minho's gone. he's usually the first to wake in the morning. in other words: you're not worried he's wandered off. that's not his job. that's not who he is.

it takes you longer than you'd like to admit for you to roll out of the warm, lonely bed.

you spot him at the kitchen counter, the oak island flooded with wood-chips, food containers and weapons. you sit at one of the stools, face in your hands as you watch minho cook. pancakes. you smile at the realisation, fondness welling up in your half groggy mind.

"good morning." he mutters absentmindedly, baritone voice husky. it hasn't been long since he woke himself, you conclude. he's uncharacteristically chatty this morning. usually, the only chatter you hear before seven is the sizzle of breakfast onto the hot metal frypan. yet again, this whole outing has been different. the circumstances weren't: someone was close to hurting you and your dutiful minho took you out of the equation. but laying next to you? holding your sleeping body? striking a conversation for the fun of it? minho rarely, if ever did things like these. it distracted him, as he put it. better an awkward silence than your life on the line, he'd insist, plump lips in a tiny frown.

you turn to the window, watching the still world outside in fascination. the wintery breath in the air sinks down in a sheer fog, frosting the pane and obscuring the earth's memory of summer. "yes, it is," you smile, eyes squinting to find the outline of the half thawed lake.

minho pushes the plate of pancakes in front of you without another word. his back is facing you again. you sigh, "are we going to talk about last night?" he turns to you curiously, without saying anything. you feel something build inside of you. a feeling you haven't felt for a long, long while. it irks you — his professionalism is by far one of the most frustrating qualities of minho. it is simultaneously attractive and infuriating.

both of his hands hold the edge of the table, leaning closer to you, "you can talk. i'll listen." minho raises a brow expectantly. his hair is getting longer again; a dark, rich brown that shines an almost red when the light manages to catch it just right. it hangs in mid air, semi obscuring his deep chestnut eyes — everything about him was so feline.

you sigh in faux resignation, a lick of fury lingering in a corner of your heart. "you haven't been that close to me since.." you pause, trying not to swallow your words. minho gave you an opportunity to talk. you'd be a fool not to prove your capabilities to him. "since the beach." he finishes coolly, a knowing glint lingering in his dark eyes as he stares at you through his long black lashes. you nod, at a loss for words.

one of his hands ruffles his hair, huffing in restraint. "i didn't mean to argue with you last night. i was.." he paused, tips of his ears beginning to burn. "i held you because i was trying to apologise. i was harsh, and i regret that." there are mere inches in-between the both of you.

as much as it hurts to say, because it means you have to realise it, you are dissatisfied with minho's apology. "you apologise to me, but you'll do it again." minho visibly bristled at your response, despite his admirable efforts to contain himself. he shook his head, "that's unfair." his voice was sentimental, open and vulnerable.

you waited, soundlessly.

"it's my job to keep you safe. i've done that — i still do that. if i tell you everything, i will be killing you. don't you understand that? you can't know the things i do and expect to be safe. i devote my life to keeping you protected, so can't you do the one thing i ask?"

you bit down on your tongue, and your gaze loitered on minho's face with a profound sense of regret and admiration. even in unimaginable amounts of hurt and frustration, he had never raised his voice at you. your eyes glittered with tears. shameful tears. they're heavier and saltier than ones of happiness, or of sadness. if it was possible, your tears seemed to hurt minho more than it did you. his lips parted, showing off his bunny teeth, and the swell of his top lip looked even plumper. his eyes softened, into big, round stars.

you dig the heels of your hands into your wet eyes, "i'm so sorry, minho." and you truly are. he moves to hold you, his hands stroke your hair and he doesn't flinch when you bury your tear soaked face into his torso. softly, with hands as gentle as rain, he tucks you away into his arms.

"you have nothing to apologise for, sweetheart. eat your breakfast, okay?" minho's strong hand rubbed up and down the length of your back delicately, as if he were unsure if you would break. you nod weakly, guilt still devouring you from the inside out.

he called you sweetheart, you realised.

sweetheart. it sounded fascinating in his beautiful mouth.

_

the crackling fire felt worthless. cold still managed to seep into your bones — your aching, heavy bones. the only warmth you felt was from minho, who sprawled himself out on you from the left. he smelled heavenly. his skin was soft, and you could feel the outline of his muscles through his shirt. there was little room to move under the shared blanket. it all felt so domestic. so.. right. this is how you wanted to be with minho. but, you know he's only this close with you to preserve heat in the winter night. it turns the butterflies in your stomach and the unfiltered swoon in your head sour. you sink into the bed, eyes fixated on the brightly flickering fire.

"i hate that we're like this.." you mutter out loud, voice raw and likely catching on the emotion in your tone. you prepare to elaborate if minho bites. you expect him to whip his head to face you and beg you to expand on your statement. he doesn't.

"i know. i'm sorry." minho's voice is husky. he buries his head into the nape of your neck, a cool nose pressing against your warm skin. it forces goosebumps from you — eager and persistent. your hands ball into fists, your bottom lip wobbling. it hurts to be this close to him; because you are always craving more.

"why can't we be like this every day?" you ask, futilely. the more you try to understand about minho, the more you realise you don't know anything about him. he was an enigma, in body and soul. you felt him nuzzle into your skin in thought. his hand, rosy at the knuckles, delicately caresses your arm, and his actions speak for him. 'i want to be like this, too.' it weeps.

"i.. i don't know." minho answers truthfully. is it possible he truly doesn't know? it seems unlike him. you want to unwrap his secrets like flower petals, to open them fully and allow him to bloom in the rays of your sun. "i want us to be like this every day. i am sorry."

minho. gentle, determined, golden minho. his tone is sweet and his voice heavy. you hear the pain in his mind when he speaks. how can he apologise? the words feel wrong coming out of his mouth. they turn into knives and twist inside of your gut. your hand falls from your lap to hold minho's hand; and you give it an affectionate squeeze. a medley of 'i love you', and 'you have nothing to be sorry for' translates from your wordless affection.

with the wood devouring fire singing in the background, you decide your next words.

"how about.." you begin, trying to ignore the sounds of your thumping, childish heart in your ears. "we hang up the titles and the statuses — just for tonight — and be who we want to be?"

"i would like that very much." minho chuckles, and you feel his smile on your bare skin. you revel in it, and you're suddenly glad you're miles off of the grid, because you're sure minho's beaming would make every lightbulb burst with his brightness. "who do you want to be tonight, minho?" you inquire. minho's brain doesn't even register what he utters, his mouth working mindlessly and without restraint; just as you promised.

"yours."

you twist in his lap like a cloud, light and gleaming. gingerly, the pads of your fingers glide over minho's face to brush the light-kissed hair from his eyes. the apples of his cheeks peek through and his eyes crinkle into crescent moons as he smiles at your touch. the contours of his angelic face are made impossibly prettier by the firelight. his plump, rounded lips glow from the warm light of the fire — he looks so homely. minho notices your staring.

"kiss me. i've wanted it long enough," he pleads, breathless.

and so, you kiss him. in a flurry, your lips glide over minho's; his top lip captured between your teeth. his lips are warm and wet and soft and so addictive. you sigh into the kiss as you realise this is all you've wanted. ever since he kissed you in that forgotten beach where the cave will never hold the same water, you've been haunted by his soft, soft skin and his devoted touch. when you're in his arms everything clicks into place.

your lips migrate from his mouth, and stop on minho's cheeks. his skin is soft, there, too. then the jaw. nose. chin. forehead. cheekbone. you cannot stop yourself. you feel his teeth peek out from his pink lips in a smile. you love him and it's getting worse. you kiss him, intending to search and understand him. you move on your own, and adoringly kiss every inch of him that he presents to you. and minho is ready for you love. he cannot go another day of choking it back — not when it feels this enriching. you want to sob, and wail at the emotions welling up inside of you. you touch each other with the most excruciating tenderness. you use a lifetime of love to pour into minho. you keep hold of each time he made you laugh, and smile and feel safe, and thrust it all back to him, each swoon-worthy memory replaying in your head and devoting a kiss to it.

your kisses are thank yous, and i love yous, and i miss yous, and i forgive yous all at once.

the moon has never seen either of you like this before. the only time you've ever kissed was under the watchful eye of the morning sun, its rays exploding on the ocean's horizon and glittering over your shadowy cave. your lips regrettably part from minho's. he rests his forehead on yours, his unearthly lips parted and his watery brown eyes gleaming like a spell under the soft orange glow of the fire.

"from the moment i kissed you, i have not been alive since. my heart beats only for you." minho's voice is smoky, and it doesn't dare travel far. his eyes gaze into yours, and many words appear in your mind to help comprehend them: whiskey, ebony. almond, feline. sparkling. does he ever tire of being so beautiful? at times like these, where intimacy is first nature and no-one else in the world could dare to exist but each other, you conclude that it suits you fine if everyone else finds minho horrible. he is your secret. he is your minho. you love him like grief loves rain — endlessly and without restraint, end, or beginning.

you place a kiss to his temple, your eyes fluttered closed comfortably, "i am yours, minho. please, show me i am yours." you feel his chest vibrate with a low chuckle. the sound vines through your mind and its roots sink and grow into your heart. his touch sears into your skin. whether minho comes to you as a lover or an executioner, you are wholly ready to receive him.

minho's fingers cradle your cheeks, his hands gentle as he kisses up your neck. "tell me." he mutters. "do you want me because it's me," he nips at your throat. you shudder, eyes scrunched closed as you try to lose everything into his touch. "or do you want me because i'm the only one around?" he asks, and judging by his tone, he is impervious to either. your open palm presses against his chest. it pains you to clarify it, but you know it is because he has never been loved by anyone before.

"minho." you start. "no world exists in where i want you only for convenience." you see the way his shoulders twitch as he contains a sob. "in every lifetime, i love you." you watch him melt and unfold before you, his deep brown eyes filling with tears. minho blinks them away, slowly, "then, i want to be the last man to do this to you."

you can't help the smile on your lips from his assumption. you brought minho's brow level with your mouth, sore from longing, and sweetly kissed his forehead. his nose bridge is next — and it scrunches as he smiles. minho's face grew so quickly warm that you giggled. in the most unsubtle way possible, minho withdrew his hips so you wouldn't feel the heat there; he closed his pure, warm chestnut eyes, wordlessly begging you to continue. your mouth fell to his neck, peppering kisses in areas no-one would think to reach. "you are the first man to do this to me." you whisper against his jaw, and you swear you can feel his golden, tanned skin burst into a sizzling burn that rolls off of his body and onto yours.

his fingers find the hem of your thick sweater. he rolls the fabric between the pads of his fingers, "can i take this off?" minho asks. you nod, "of course." your voice is soft, slow and you realise you have waited your whole life for this moment. minho's skin is blazingly warm as he slides under your sweater and coaxed it off of your flushed body. you mirror his actions, tugging at his hoodie wordlessly. minho's movements blur together as they fly around his hoodie, leaving him shirtless and shivering from the onslaught of cold.

minho's golden skin was a plane of hard earned muscle. with a little help from the soft light, you could see occasional marks of fairer skin on his body. scars. his abs, ribs, arms and pecs were littered with shrapnel marks and in lesser places: bullet holes. his collarbones, like pillars, started at he base of his throat and spread to the ends of his shoulders. he was mythic, and held down by miles of smooth skin. at your staring, minho frowned. "it's not.. attractive, i know. i'm sorry." he bowed his head. had he gone mad?

"no." you protested, devoted fingers tracing the contours of his torso and running over the healed wounds. you watch a shiver roll down his spine at your touch, ghosting over his skin. he is so brave, and quiet, that you often forget of his suffering. "you do what you need to, i know. but, still — it suits you. minho, it's beyond attractive. it's impressive and.. beautiful." perhaps you had intended your words to be more profound, more complex, but at the sight of minho, you tend to lose your train of thought. your simple language was open; and it didn't hide how much you admired him. you love his scars because none of them come without a story. bravery, stupidity — as rare as it might be for him — minho has earned them all, and overcame them.

you delicately tuck a piece of wavy brunet hair behind minho's ear, stopping it from sweeping his ear. minho's eyes slipped closed for a moment, his thick lashes kissing the swells of his cheeks as he lets out a small, giddy laugh. it whirls around your head and makes your heart beat faster against your ribcage. it made your stomach flutter and twist like a gust of wind whipping through a spring-fresh tree. when minho opens his eyes again, his pupils look significantly more dilated than before, his pink tongue peeking out from his mouth to wet his lips. "can i touch you?"

your heart softens. a burning need to sob at his kindness overwhelms you and chokes your throat. "i get it's the gentleman thing to do," the pads of your fingers stroke his burning cheeks. "to keep asking me, but minho, you can do whatever you want to me."

you excite minho. he grins, scooping you onto his lap and burying his head into the crook of your neck, flushed skin against flushed skin. his fingers circle your hipbone, "i am only as gentlemanly as you want me to be." he muttered into your body, which trembles for his touch. you do not push minho away, instead hooking your fingers into the muscle of his shoulders and tug, pull, palm him closer to you. there will always be molecules between the both of you and it is infuriating.

like stars, the red of yours and minho's mouths collide. he breathes into your lungs; he is a wonderful creation and it's your first time seeing heaven. the deliciously veiny set of hands slide up from your hips, and he's brave enough to draw circles around your breasts with the pads of his thumbs. you expected to stay cold for a lot while longer; but your body grew scorching hot very soon. he has that effect on you. the feeling of his strong, muscular thighs between your legs forces your appetite for him to boil over in your gut.

minho had spent his whole life accommodating others. everything removable, and soft in him murdered and replaced with hardness and stoicism. vulnerably, he sits under you, open and waiting — begging for you to take him apart. his body pleads for you to sit on the bed of the long, toned muscle of his thigh. he prays you will rest your swirling head on the cushion of his stuttering heart. he is your home, do you not understand? make it yours.

your body tries to shudder as his index finger dips into the waistband of your sweatpants and traces your slit, minho's lips morphing into a smirk as he feels the damp fabric of your underwear. the texture of his veiny, strong hands feel so overwhelmingly good on your skin that you can't help yourself when your hips roll to follow his touch. your fingers sneak into his hair and tug at his roots, bringing his head up as you press your lips onto his. your insatiable mouth kissed minho with all the power you could possibly muster — making up for all the years, months, weeks, days, minutes, even seconds that your lips had not been touching.

the way minho carefully thumbs your clit replaces the fluttery, airy feeling of arousal in your gut to the exact opposite: he replaces it with a heavy, empty ache that desperately needs to be filled for your sake. your mouths melt together, lips parting and tongues spreading the taste of the other in your mouths. minho's free hand hooks into the flesh of your hip to trap you, to stop them from rolling and grinding onto his lap, your cunt desperate to feel every inch of him. these touches feel like the start of forever. you want to touch him until his name is written on every atom used to craft you. in your eyes, the meaning of forever cannot hold you down from him.

desperation sits heavy on your tongue, and you want to plead and beg for minho to love you the same way tomorrow, and the next month, and the year after that. your fingers claw into his skin, and you shudder when he kisses your tongue with the same amount of devilishness he uses to charm your need for him into something carnal. minho pulls away from you, and you see his eyes light up as his mouth fills with something to say. words. you've had enough words for a lifetime, and yet you always find yourself stopping to hear his. you expect minho to maintain his gentlemanly behaviour, as he always did.

"do you trust me?" he asks, cryptically, his eyes gleaming and you're sure you can hear him purr if you concentrate on it over your thumping heart. with every breath in my body, you want to say. you do not; instead you kiss his temple and mutter, "of course." as sweetly and as genuine as one can muster when their body is aching for an orgasmic release. minho urges you off of his lap, and you follow his lead, slowly and curiously. you watch him with your head tilted to the side in fascination. even when you do not speak, a beautiful, sweet glow grows between the both of you.

his fingertips smoothed up the fabric of your sweatpants, pulling them and your underwear off in one motion. you instinctively closed your legs at the biting cold, a gasp leaving your throat and a shiver striking through you. minho's hands cupped both of your knees, "i need you to open up, sweetheart." can you do that for me? his eyes said, watching you intently. you have so much of him in your heart that it urges you to give in, to surrender yourself to minho and trust him, like you always do. so, you do exactly that.

you let minho place one of your legs above his shoulders, the inside of your knee fitting together against the curve of his shoulder like a puzzle. he buried himself between your legs, throwing himself to your body like you were an altar, and he a sacrifice. your cheeks burned — you felt so vulnerable and exposed. minho's thumbs spreads open your sex, unraveling you like a scholar would unravel the pages of a book: ravishing each morsel and dedicating a part of their life to it. minho kisses the inside of your thighs, the tip of his nose brushing against your skin and you sob. he is the only person to come this close to you.

at the feeling of his warm breath on your sex, you shudder, thighs tensing as you suck in a breath. you see minho's eyes stare into yours, peering up at you tenderly through his lashes. "let me take care of you. i promise you'll be okay." his voice is angelic as he purrs into your cunt. it makes you feel sinful, and you strangely surrender yourself into the feeling. you nod, "i trust you, minho." you breathe into a whisper. it takes a great effort not to allow your legs to squirm in minho's arms as he collects your arousal on his thumb, sampling your taste and spreading it through his mouth. is everything he does always this sexy?

he nestles into the softness of your thighs, the soft pink swells of his lips experimentally mouthing at your wet, velvet soft sex. you slope into his touch, soft and light moans sneaking into the cycle of your shaky breaths. pleased with your reaction, minho kisses your cunt just as intensely as he kissed your mouth, his tongue sinking into your slit and setting ablaze something that resided in the cage of your hips. your heel scattered around his toned back, hips bucking into his touch — you feel minho's warm spit drizzle down the inside of your legs from your sudden movement, and his mouth dips down to collect it like the world's most devoted servant.

the winter night has leeched enough heat from the earth to give you goosebumps; and you feel it is almost intentional. you feel minho smirk into your cunt and it's enough to drive you delirious. your desire for him begins to sound like hymns, and it gnaws through your restless skin and seeps into every corner of your mind. "need you," flutters from your mouth, drooling and lips parted. minho hums smugly at your confession, releasing himself from your cunt with an obscene smack. his head tilts up, swallowing his drool and your slick, his throat rolling in the sexiest way as he swallows, and immediately your half-working mind fed you with visions of suckling, kissing, and tonguing his neck.

minho covers your entire sex with his sweetly intense, red hot mouth. he chuckles fondly into your cunt when your fingernails press and dig into his forearms; when your back arches into his tongue and when you mewl out his name like you had just discovered it. you cry out minho's name over and over, until you're sure it's etched somewhere inside of your throat. the flat of minho's pink tongue rakes and slides against your slit, top to bottom and back up again. you sink into his touch and pray for his mercy as the tip of his nose bumps and prods at your sore, puffy clit. it has your lungs pouring out a squeal, until there's no breath left in you.

"fuck, don't shut up. no-one's around to hear." minho moans into you, eyeing the way your lips parted to sob and mewl his name. he gives your clit a satisfied kiss at the way you quickly obeyed him, his soft lips wrapping around your swollen clit and devotedly sucking. it puts goosebumps on his skin, at the way your fingers brush the wispy dark stray hairs out of minho’s face, clinging onto his hair and holding on for dear life; similarly, it feels like the same way he held onto your thighs. possessive.

you feel tears brim at your eyes, and you’re unsure of the meaning behind them. are you close to crying because of unfathomable pleasures that you’re unsure you can ever come down from – or because you don’t know if this is the first and last time that minho openly touches and loves you like he is now. he loves you continuously, and intensely, and you cannot bear to let this warm moment fade into a memory that will leave you utterly cold.

minho’s middle finger slips into your sobbing cunt, and the coldness of his skin inside of your searing heat tears a noise from your throat that makes him smirk. your heel digs into the hard, toned plane of his back. you want to tell him just how excellent of a job he’s doing, but when you try, all that comes out is “god minho!”. it makes the man in question chuckle at the double meaning. most commonly, it would be heard as ‘god, minho!’ — but his ego hears it as ‘god: minho!’ and it makes him want to worship you impossibly better than he already is.

how his jaw isn't tired, you don't know. with his skilled mouth, minho paints you a heaven of love with everything he's wanted to say. he's not pressed so tightly to you to preserve heat in the bitter, desolate mountains. your relationship with your bodyguard is complicated in every way. you want nothing more than to love each other the way your hearts beg to — but your lives obstruct that only wish. people talk, and in both of your worlds, these people are dangerous and will exploit your unity until the love for each other has been gutted and ripped from your tired, weary bodies. it is unsafe to brush your thumb over minho's lips, and it is unsafe to whisper 'i love you's', even when you're both deep into the night.

but here? where nothing else exists but each other, you are free to let the years worth of accumulated love flow freely from your bodies. but you know you will not stay like this forever. now that you've gotten this close; now that you've held his face, and hands, and body, you do not want to let go. but, eventually, you must. and you must let things go back to how they once were, as you did once before after minho cradled your sobbing body and tucked you into his bleeding middle, and kissed you so lovingly — so intensely, that you still feel the raw divinity of it all bleeding from the memory of his soft, soft pink lips.

he leaves your sobbing, sensitive body with a chaste, satisfied kiss. "beautiful." you hear him mutter, his voice soft and light. you, in your half-mad daze, stir after a few moments. minho's body heat is replaced by absolutely nothing. you give him a look he knows too well. what are you doing, he reads on your face. he smiles fondly, wiping your slick off of his lips and chin, "i want you to be closer to me. for your first time, you deserve intimacy." minho kisses up your torso, hands gliding up your thighs, over your hips. you lay there, bewildered by his honesty, his touch, his voice. there's no way he's real. you must have made him up in your mind, you're half sure of it. half sure because my god no one person could ever cook up someone this profound on their own. whichever god let minho out of their army is a fool.

your relationship with minho is always tested. when you first met him, he was cold and blunt and everything frustrating. his body was leaner then, and less experienced. he was mouthy and would always get into trouble, which rubbed off on you just as he was growing out of that phase. which, of course, birthed a new dynamic of minho having to pull you out of confrontations kicking and screaming and, many times, sobbing about how much you hated him. obviously you could never hate minho — but you were hurting, and so you wanted to hurt him the same way. in many instances, you confused 'i hate you' with 'i love you', when it came to minho. you had never surrendered yourself entirely to anyone before, and you are only now realising that minho had surrendered himself to you since the first day he met you. back then, the both of you were too scared to let your hearts speak, but when you and he are pressed together like this; his lips on your skin and your hands smoothing down his hair, you don't think you can ever go about life silently ever again.

you nod in surrender, sinking into his melodic voice like a rock in water, your hips aching with arousal and your skin flushed. you trust minho completely, and you show this by winding your hands around his neck, thumbs on his cheeks and fingers splayed in his hair and on his neck, and bring him into your kiss, pressing your lips to minho's like you were a love potion, sweet and hypnotic and so close to making his heart stop with each quick, needy peck on his plump, pink lips. you can feel his smile and you can see it written all over his face when you open your half-lidded eyes to see him: his long, thick lashes kissing the swells of his cheeks as his teeth peek out and his ears flush red. in your haze, you don't realise you've both sat up until you feel your hips absentmindedly rocking on your lap, desperate for friction and dripping on your sticky skin.

minho's large, veiny hand puts your fingertips on his belt. you don't remember when he took off his weapons from his holsters, but they're forgotten about and discarded somewhere on the icy cabin floor. your kiss is broken, but your love spell is not, and as you look into minho's deep brown eyes you see his love for you in them, shining like pearls on the ocean floor. you palm the rough leathery feel of his belt, and you realise what he's asking of you. he wants you to do this part — he wants it to be you who opens him up. minho's hot- scalding hot mouth kisses your neck and his teeth nips at your skin and you don't remember how you got his belt off, just that you did.

you want to tell him not to hold back, to pour everything out and let himself be vulnerable. for years he has swarmed your mind and forced you to guess everything about him — he has been your torturer in more ways than one ever since you met him. your time before knowing minho felt like a lifetime ago. maybe you weren't truly living until you heard his sweet voice purring in your ear and his commanding, skilled hands brushing against your skin with a challenging glint in his brown eyes. you plant a kiss on minho's jaw, a silent plea, the sounds of your wet lips smacking against his skin made him smirk, the skin of his deep cupid's bow curving into a smile.

the closest you and minho could get to each other wasn't nearly close enough. your eyes closed, hands winding around his body and your lips parted in concentration. your mind was slowly shutting down, allowing all sensations to your body to become the only thing that proves you're existing. that memory of the morning beach and the fresh feeling of minho's lips on your own is the last thing you think of: the salty ocean in the air and minho's body heat leaping out of his chest as he held you, just as you hold him now. even then, in his own way, he was trying to protect you.

minho's veiny hand holds the base of his warm, girthy cock as he introduces the head of his cock onto your dripping cunt. he gives you a once over, his paradoxically bambi-esque, feline eyes landing on yours. do you want this? his deep brown eyes ask. it melts your heart in more ways than one, and you give him a slow, deliberate nod.

“i won’t hurt you.” minho mutters, voice warm, as his dark eyes carefully linger on your eyes. he waits, until you give him a response, always looking for your consent. if someone were to cut you up and take a look at your heart, you feel as though it would be tender and bleeding and undoubtedly minho’s. your hand caresses his jaw for a moment.

“i know you won’t.” you don't realise you're smiling until minho's thumb brushes against your soft lips, trying to feel the words on your mouth. you take his hand in yours, fingers knotting together as he eases into you, piercing your entrance with his length and filling you up completely. you squeeze both his cock and his hand at the same time, tightening significantly when minho's sweat sticky chest hovered over yours, in all of his muscular, warm glory.

with faces in each other's necks, pulses in the other's ears, you realise breath by breath that you had been craving and needing this for years. minho kneels before you, his hand wrapped around your thigh to secure your position. you feel minho's throbbing cock in your sex with every breath, and the closer he inches inside of you, the worse the ache hits you all at once. his touch is like lightning, thunder clapping in your mind and electricity spreading mercilessly throughout your body. your fingernails press into minho's skin, a whimper bursting through your lips as he presses his hips into yours, his hilt just barely visible to him and your slick covering the both of you.

"you look perfect," minho mutters, thumb stroking your thigh. "just tell me when, beautiful." he cooed, somehow more than happy to kneel in a suspended state of pleasure just for your sake. he's perfectly content to just be in your soul as he always is; tormenting you. minho fills you to the brim and at your command, gives you two deep, fulfilling grinds into your sex, his brows furrowing and his eyes closing as he loses himself in your hot, deep cunt. the sounds are obscene and you're infinitely grateful minho happened to fuck you where no-one else could hear.

a part of you wants to be stained and branded as his, in fear he would ever leave you. but, for minho, the pain of living without you would be unimaginable. it's decided then and there, that in his next life, he would search for you and make you his; just as he is doing now. it's took him long enough. yours and minho's sweat tacky skin sticks together with a mind of their own, and following in your bodies' footsteps, you plant a kiss to minho's plump lips, then his nose bridge, his temple, begging and urging him on.

minho's hips and by extension, his cock, ruts into your sex; your sticky, wet arousal mixing and giving the illusion that you and he are melting into one another. you couldn't say where you end and he began. you swallow a sob, cunt clenching like molten silk on minho's length. he frowns at this, withdrawing his hips from you and leaving you in agonising emptiness, his lips on the shell of your ear and his hand forgetting your thigh and smoothing back your hair, "let me hear you." he muttered in that caramel voice of his. his tone was teasing and loving and commanding all at once.

who are you to deny him?

you squirm and squeal in his grip as minho’s wet, pink mouth kisses and licks down your torso, leaving a blazing trail of spit on your skin. at the same time, his slick, warm cock caresses your slit before sinking back into your waiting, inviting cunt. you live solely on the honey of his touch, intoxicated by the way minho truly savours every curve and inch of you. ironically enough, minho knows you too well, and he would like nothing more than to forget you for this moment; so he could discover and love you for the first time all over again.

the way minho’s length rutted into the scalding, blazing hollow of your sex between the cage of your hips could rewrite your history entirely. mewl after moan escaped from your lips, only contributing to the obscene sounds in the cabin: yours and minho’s moans mixed with the vulgar sounds of minho fucking your shared arousal into your sex, paired with the sound of the only bed creaking and smacking against the cabin wall created the perfect cocktail of ambience noise. the sensations of his touch is unimaginable and it leaves you melting into the mattress, mindless and drunk off of the entirely new experience. with every passing second, minho is immensely grateful that there’s no-one around the cabin you’re staying in for miles. not that it matters much, anyway: you’re the only person that exists when you’re caged between his arms like this. everyone else ceases to exist the moment you wind your hands around his neck and your dripping sex flutters beautifully around him.

the taste of the trying pains of loving the unavailable minho for years dissolve in your mouth. your eyes roll back in bliss while your eyelids start to close simultaneously, fingers hooked into minho’s burning hot skin. your hips meet his thrusts into you, the sound oddly reminiscent of waves colliding. minho likes it when your hips meet his, and he especially likes the noises you make when you meet like two magnets.

“does that feel good?” he asks when the tip of his cock hits a particularly sensitive spot inside of you. he’s teasing you — of course he knows it feels good. he just wants to hear you say it, to stroke his ego. nails digging further into his toned muscle, you swallow a cry and nod, complicit with his plans. you’re unsure what you end up mewling out, stuck between recalling it as ‘so good’, or ‘you’re good’. either way, minho almost purrs at the praise and adjusts your hips around his sides, skilled hands holding you in place as he gives you a good view of his veiny, tanned arms. with a slight change of positions you are introduced to a new world of sensations.

minho’s cock sears into you, setting your inexperienced sex ablaze. you squeal, tears flowing down your flushed cheeks and your throat growing hoarse as you let out a stringed moan that’s interrupted and punctuated with each thrust minho bestows upon you. in other words, you’re completely lost in the feeling of minho’s wonderfully skilled cock burying itself into your aching, puffy cunt.

deep within the night, minho lets you in on what he’s thinking. “can’t believe you’re this innocent..” he swoons, smirking as his hand strokes your leg, still in the perfect position he manoeuvred you into. your eyes open to glare at him, regardless if his searing hot, hard cock is giving you all the relief your body could’ve wanted. the sight above you makes you fall in love with him all over again. minho has his eyes closed, long thick lashes resting on the swells of his cheeks, pink swollen lips parted and cheeks beginning to flush as his brows furrow in concentration. his body seemed carved out of marble as it laid bare above you; like some lost piece of art. each inch of tanned muscle and raised scar and mole made you want to throw yourself onto his altar and worship him at his temple. you knew he would protect you as a god, too.

he wants to take it slow- he truly does, he tries so hard, especially considering it’s your first time — but minho concludes you feel too good and the pleased moans that flows from your lips like honey are too beautiful to ignore. your touch only entices him, drawing him in to guzzle down your love potion like his life depends on it. the temperature between your sweaty, clammy bodies climbs drastically; a contrast between the rigidly biting cold that lay inside and outside the cabin. minho’s hips ruts into you and his throat pours out a groan, guttaral and deep and drawn out as your slick cunt pulses with the weight of minho’s cock inside of you, pressing onto your guts and leaving your mind entirely fuzzy, silent almost.

the only thing keeping your mind from being fully silent is minho’s sounds repeating like a broken record. he presses his skin against yours, “wanted to do this to you f’ so long,” he slurs, clearly drunk on electrifying pleasure as his hips piston wildly and desperately into your sex, his biceps flexing as he anchors himself to the mattress. if you had half a mind to form a coherent thought, you would’ve scolded him for not fucking you sooner — but instead you answer him by letting your teeth sink into his neck, barely enough to bruise but enough for minho, even in his sex maddened daze, to differentiate it from a playful nip.

he cries out a moan, so loud you’re sure you physically felt it. your cunt clenches in response, almost purring at his sounds as your calves flail across his back in a pathetically amateurish attempt to bring minho closer to you. no matter what, you’re never satisfied with the lack of distance. perhaps it’s because you have years of experience seeing him so far away from you, but you feel as though minho could disappear through your hands like smoke at any given moment: you need him close at all times. even when he’s the closest to you he’s ever been, it cannot compete with the way your chest bleeds from the distance between you.

love isn’t gentle like people say. in songs, paintings, poems - any forms of art, really, love is always expressed as a wonderfully soft feeling that makes one feel as though their life has only just begun. but, for you and minho, love has claws and teeth which wounds never fully heal from each blow to the soul. love, for you, is a bleeding, agonising feeling that drives you mad, yet you find yourself always crawling back for another bite.

minho’s thrusts grow erratic, less rhythmic and more grinding into your newly deflowered cunt, desperate and meaner, as if he’s trying to split you open. it certainly feels that way, each slam of his hips into yours is reminiscent of a whip, slashing your skin and leaving it searing red, burning hot and without a doubt bruising in the morning. it turns less like a journey and more like a crusade — like an animalistic, primal pilgrimage that needs to leave marks in case either of you forget this night ever happened.

you struggle to find air; your mouth exhaling moans and whimpers and your nose buried into minho’s neck, close to his pulse just to feel that he’s alive, breathing and you’re not, in fact, dreaming. minho’s tone graduates from whispers to mutters to borderline yelling. you have the excitement and passion to thank for that. minho’s close, you can tell. his forearms brackets your head as he mouths kisses on your pulse, nose pressed into your jawline and scarred chest flush against your pristine skin. he jackhammers his pulsing cock into your sopping, achingly puffy cunt with so much force and vehemence you’re unsure if he loves you or hates you. he beings to forget his strength, and you’re already dreading the soreness your body will greet you with when you wake tomorrow.

your blood swirls in your head, your ears hearing it more clearer over minho’s muttering, but the few words you can make out makes your back arch and your eyes roll, mindless and so pleased to finally let minho take you like this. you hear things like ‘all mine’, ‘ruined f’ anyone else’, and ‘gorgeous like this, taking me so well’. it puts a heat in the cage of your hips so burning, intense like molten lava and even then you’d rather a thousand burning suns than this violent heat. tears trickle down your face, rolling and collecting in the hollow of your collarbones, thighs twitching and despite not even standing you want nothing more than to collapse in on yourself.

minho, on the other hand, digs his fingernails into every inch of your skin, pushing himself inside of you so eagerly you genuinely let out a cry, chest heaving as he bottoms out, the feverish desire for you reaching its high as he ruts his hips into you, balls sore and heavy as his orgasm finds him more intensely and quicker than a gunshot. it’s almost instant: like a flash of white, he’s pumping your cunt with pearly hot cum with his throat exposed, fully vulnerable.

the stringy fluid between the both of you is never ending, your own orgasm hitting you so harshly that your voice falls silent, eyes screwed shut and clutching minho’s hand so tightly that blood cannot get to his fingers. you’re sobbing; writhing under him, cunt spasming and lungs thrashing inside of your body, desperate to get air inside themselves. devoted, loving minho is there to coax you through it, kissing at your sweat slicked temple and brushing hair out of your face, “attagirl, you’re alright, breathe, sweetheart. i’ve got you, there we go, deep breaths, such a good girl you are,” he coos, fawning over you and stroking your arm.

you swear that as you hit your orgasm, you felt realms blur together and as you unavoidably came down from your high, you’re disoriented and unsure which plane of reality you’ve landed on. you’re exhausted and you’re seeing everything from a different perspective, and you realise even from above, fucked out and more exhausted than you, minho looks angelic. his golden skin is glistening and glowing in the dim light like a statue, and you want nothing more than to take him in your arms and kiss him until there’s no love left in your body.

you pay no mind to the wetness of cum flowing out of your sex in sporadic waves, instead busying yourself with showering minho in a heaven of love, courtesy of your kisses and sweet talk. he blushes and smiles at your kisses, his arm wrapping you into his chest and holding the back of your head loosely and protectively.

on the brink of falling asleep, you realise you couldn’t care less if you’re not the same devoted lovers tomorrow, or even after your retreat to a desolate mountain cabin is finished. all that matters is now — and you’ve both expressed that if it was up to you, this night would be an everyday occurrence, as is falling asleep next to each other and the obligatory ‘i love yous’. now that you’re worn out, on your side and half asleep already, you nestle into minho’s body and surrender yourself to any outcome. the memory of this night is enough to keep you from a lifetime of longing and want. once again, your minho has proven his devotion to you, and once again you find yourself feeling invincible in his touch.

on the fragile knife’s edge of sleep, minho strokes your clammy skin and you’re certain you hear him mutter into your hair: “i don’t think i want to go back to being minho. i want to stay yours forever. won’t you let me?” and even half asleep, your heart simultaneously flutters and crumbles. the first thing you’ll do tomorrow is kiss him until your lips are bruised and tell minho over and over again how he cannot be anything but yours — no matter who objects, no matter the danger, you and minho will remain as you did tonight.

[killedpink]

i wasn't that confident in this work when i published it, but now that you've said such kind and wonderful things about it i'm so happy i published it regardless of my feelings towards it, so thank you so much ♡ it really means a lot that you liked it ! got me giggling and blushing !

[killedpink]

이 민호 | reflecting light.

🎧 masterlist !?

💭 synopsis: after years of a push and pull relationship with your assigned bodyguard, you leap at the opportunity to get inside his head when you're stuck in a cabin miles from society. what you don't expect is that he wants the same thing that you yearn for.

🐈‍⬛ word count: 8.3k

📂 contains: female reader, bodyguard minho, mutual pining, unestablished relationship, food mention, pet names, virgin reader, first time, oral sex, cum consumption, hair pulling, marking, noise kink, slight fingering, corruption kink, unprotected sex, creampie.

there's no heat in the sun. it's the light that wakes you, tangled in bedsheets and your sleep tender body shielding your eyes from the unwelcome light. the space in the bed next to you is beginning to freeze. minho's gone. he's usually the first to wake in the morning. in other words: you're not worried he's wandered off. that's not his job. that's not who he is.

it takes you longer than you'd like to admit for you to roll out of the warm, lonely bed.

you spot him at the kitchen counter, the oak island flooded with wood-chips, food containers and weapons. you sit at one of the stools, face in your hands as you watch minho cook. pancakes. you smile at the realisation, fondness welling up in your half groggy mind.

"good morning." he mutters absentmindedly, baritone voice husky. it hasn't been long since he woke himself, you conclude. he's uncharacteristically chatty this morning. usually, the only chatter you hear before seven is the sizzle of breakfast onto the hot metal frypan. yet again, this whole outing has been different. the circumstances weren't: someone was close to hurting you and your dutiful minho took you out of the equation. but laying next to you? holding your sleeping body? striking a conversation for the fun of it? minho rarely, if ever did things like these. it distracted him, as he put it. better an awkward silence than your life on the line, he'd insist, plump lips in a tiny frown.

you turn to the window, watching the still world outside in fascination. the wintery breath in the air sinks down in a sheer fog, frosting the pane and obscuring the earth's memory of summer. "yes, it is," you smile, eyes squinting to find the outline of the half thawed lake.

minho pushes the plate of pancakes in front of you without another word. his back is facing you again. you sigh, "are we going to talk about last night?" he turns to you curiously, without saying anything. you feel something build inside of you. a feeling you haven't felt for a long, long while. it irks you — his professionalism is by far one of the most frustrating qualities of minho. it is simultaneously attractive and infuriating.

both of his hands hold the edge of the table, leaning closer to you, "you can talk. i'll listen." minho raises a brow expectantly. his hair is getting longer again; a dark, rich brown that shines an almost red when the light manages to catch it just right. it hangs in mid air, semi obscuring his deep chestnut eyes — everything about him was so feline.

you sigh in faux resignation, a lick of fury lingering in a corner of your heart. "you haven't been that close to me since.." you pause, trying not to swallow your words. minho gave you an opportunity to talk. you'd be a fool not to prove your capabilities to him. "since the beach." he finishes coolly, a knowing glint lingering in his dark eyes as he stares at you through his long black lashes. you nod, at a loss for words.

one of his hands ruffles his hair, huffing in restraint. "i didn't mean to argue with you last night. i was.." he paused, tips of his ears beginning to burn. "i held you because i was trying to apologise. i was harsh, and i regret that." there are mere inches in-between the both of you.

as much as it hurts to say, because it means you have to realise it, you are dissatisfied with minho's apology. "you apologise to me, but you'll do it again." minho visibly bristled at your response, despite his admirable efforts to contain himself. he shook his head, "that's unfair." his voice was sentimental, open and vulnerable.

you waited, soundlessly.

"it's my job to keep you safe. i've done that — i still do that. if i tell you everything, i will be killing you. don't you understand that? you can't know the things i do and expect to be safe. i devote my life to keeping you protected, so can't you do the one thing i ask?"

you bit down on your tongue, and your gaze loitered on minho's face with a profound sense of regret and admiration. even in unimaginable amounts of hurt and frustration, he had never raised his voice at you. your eyes glittered with tears. shameful tears. they're heavier and saltier than ones of happiness, or of sadness. if it was possible, your tears seemed to hurt minho more than it did you. his lips parted, showing off his bunny teeth, and the swell of his top lip looked even plumper. his eyes softened, into big, round stars.

you dig the heels of your hands into your wet eyes, "i'm so sorry, minho." and you truly are. he moves to hold you, his hands stroke your hair and he doesn't flinch when you bury your tear soaked face into his torso. softly, with hands as gentle as rain, he tucks you away into his arms.

"you have nothing to apologise for, sweetheart. eat your breakfast, okay?" minho's strong hand rubbed up and down the length of your back delicately, as if he were unsure if you would break. you nod weakly, guilt still devouring you from the inside out.

he called you sweetheart, you realised.

sweetheart. it sounded fascinating in his beautiful mouth.

_

the crackling fire felt worthless. cold still managed to seep into your bones — your aching, heavy bones. the only warmth you felt was from minho, who sprawled himself out on you from the left. he smelled heavenly. his skin was soft, and you could feel the outline of his muscles through his shirt. there was little room to move under the shared blanket. it all felt so domestic. so.. right. this is how you wanted to be with minho. but, you know he's only this close with you to preserve heat in the winter night. it turns the butterflies in your stomach and the unfiltered swoon in your head sour. you sink into the bed, eyes fixated on the brightly flickering fire.

"i hate that we're like this.." you mutter out loud, voice raw and likely catching on the emotion in your tone. you prepare to elaborate if minho bites. you expect him to whip his head to face you and beg you to expand on your statement. he doesn't.

"i know. i'm sorry." minho's voice is husky. he buries his head into the nape of your neck, a cool nose pressing against your warm skin. it forces goosebumps from you — eager and persistent. your hands ball into fists, your bottom lip wobbling. it hurts to be this close to him; because you are always craving more.

"why can't we be like this every day?" you ask, futilely. the more you try to understand about minho, the more you realise you don't know anything about him. he was an enigma, in body and soul. you felt him nuzzle into your skin in thought. his hand, rosy at the knuckles, delicately caresses your arm, and his actions speak for him. 'i want to be like this, too.' it weeps.

"i.. i don't know." minho answers truthfully. is it possible he truly doesn't know? it seems unlike him. you want to unwrap his secrets like flower petals, to open them fully and allow him to bloom in the rays of your sun. "i want us to be like this every day. i am sorry."

minho. gentle, determined, golden minho. his tone is sweet and his voice heavy. you hear the pain in his mind when he speaks. how can he apologise? the words feel wrong coming out of his mouth. they turn into knives and twist inside of your gut. your hand falls from your lap to hold minho's hand; and you give it an affectionate squeeze. a medley of 'i love you', and 'you have nothing to be sorry for' translates from your wordless affection.

with the wood devouring fire singing in the background, you decide your next words.

"how about.." you begin, trying to ignore the sounds of your thumping, childish heart in your ears. "we hang up the titles and the statuses — just for tonight — and be who we want to be?"

"i would like that very much." minho chuckles, and you feel his smile on your bare skin. you revel in it, and you're suddenly glad you're miles off of the grid, because you're sure minho's beaming would make every lightbulb burst with his brightness. "who do you want to be tonight, minho?" you inquire. minho's brain doesn't even register what he utters, his mouth working mindlessly and without restraint; just as you promised.

"yours."

you twist in his lap like a cloud, light and gleaming. gingerly, the pads of your fingers glide over minho's face to brush the light-kissed hair from his eyes. the apples of his cheeks peek through and his eyes crinkle into crescent moons as he smiles at your touch. the contours of his angelic face are made impossibly prettier by the firelight. his plump, rounded lips glow from the warm light of the fire — he looks so homely. minho notices your staring.

"kiss me. i've wanted it long enough," he pleads, breathless.

and so, you kiss him. in a flurry, your lips glide over minho's; his top lip captured between your teeth. his lips are warm and wet and soft and so addictive. you sigh into the kiss as you realise this is all you've wanted. ever since he kissed you in that forgotten beach where the cave will never hold the same water, you've been haunted by his soft, soft skin and his devoted touch. when you're in his arms everything clicks into place.

your lips migrate from his mouth, and stop on minho's cheeks. his skin is soft, there, too. then the jaw. nose. chin. forehead. cheekbone. you cannot stop yourself. you feel his teeth peek out from his pink lips in a smile. you love him and it's getting worse. you kiss him, intending to search and understand him. you move on your own, and adoringly kiss every inch of him that he presents to you. and minho is ready for you love. he cannot go another day of choking it back — not when it feels this enriching. you want to sob, and wail at the emotions welling up inside of you. you touch each other with the most excruciating tenderness. you use a lifetime of love to pour into minho. you keep hold of each time he made you laugh, and smile and feel safe, and thrust it all back to him, each swoon-worthy memory replaying in your head and devoting a kiss to it.

your kisses are thank yous, and i love yous, and i miss yous, and i forgive yous all at once.

the moon has never seen either of you like this before. the only time you've ever kissed was under the watchful eye of the morning sun, its rays exploding on the ocean's horizon and glittering over your shadowy cave. your lips regrettably part from minho's. he rests his forehead on yours, his unearthly lips parted and his watery brown eyes gleaming like a spell under the soft orange glow of the fire.

"from the moment i kissed you, i have not been alive since. my heart beats only for you." minho's voice is smoky, and it doesn't dare travel far. his eyes gaze into yours, and many words appear in your mind to help comprehend them: whiskey, ebony. almond, feline. sparkling. does he ever tire of being so beautiful? at times like these, where intimacy is first nature and no-one else in the world could dare to exist but each other, you conclude that it suits you fine if everyone else finds minho horrible. he is your secret. he is your minho. you love him like grief loves rain — endlessly and without restraint, end, or beginning.

you place a kiss to his temple, your eyes fluttered closed comfortably, "i am yours, minho. please, show me i am yours." you feel his chest vibrate with a low chuckle. the sound vines through your mind and its roots sink and grow into your heart. his touch sears into your skin. whether minho comes to you as a lover or an executioner, you are wholly ready to receive him.

minho's fingers cradle your cheeks, his hands gentle as he kisses up your neck. "tell me." he mutters. "do you want me because it's me," he nips at your throat. you shudder, eyes scrunched closed as you try to lose everything into his touch. "or do you want me because i'm the only one around?" he asks, and judging by his tone, he is impervious to either. your open palm presses against his chest. it pains you to clarify it, but you know it is because he has never been loved by anyone before.

"minho." you start. "no world exists in where i want you only for convenience." you see the way his shoulders twitch as he contains a sob. "in every lifetime, i love you." you watch him melt and unfold before you, his deep brown eyes filling with tears. minho blinks them away, slowly, "then, i want to be the last man to do this to you."

you can't help the smile on your lips from his assumption. you brought minho's brow level with your mouth, sore from longing, and sweetly kissed his forehead. his nose bridge is next — and it scrunches as he smiles. minho's face grew so quickly warm that you giggled. in the most unsubtle way possible, minho withdrew his hips so you wouldn't feel the heat there; he closed his pure, warm chestnut eyes, wordlessly begging you to continue. your mouth fell to his neck, peppering kisses in areas no-one would think to reach. "you are the first man to do this to me." you whisper against his jaw, and you swear you can feel his golden, tanned skin burst into a sizzling burn that rolls off of his body and onto yours.

his fingers find the hem of your thick sweater. he rolls the fabric between the pads of his fingers, "can i take this off?" minho asks. you nod, "of course." your voice is soft, slow and you realise you have waited your whole life for this moment. minho's skin is blazingly warm as he slides under your sweater and coaxed it off of your flushed body. you mirror his actions, tugging at his hoodie wordlessly. minho's movements blur together as they fly around his hoodie, leaving him shirtless and shivering from the onslaught of cold.

minho's golden skin was a plane of hard earned muscle. with a little help from the soft light, you could see occasional marks of fairer skin on his body. scars. his abs, ribs, arms and pecs were littered with shrapnel marks and in lesser places: bullet holes. his collarbones, like pillars, started at he base of his throat and spread to the ends of his shoulders. he was mythic, and held down by miles of smooth skin. at your staring, minho frowned. "it's not.. attractive, i know. i'm sorry." he bowed his head. had he gone mad?

"no." you protested, devoted fingers tracing the contours of his torso and running over the healed wounds. you watch a shiver roll down his spine at your touch, ghosting over his skin. he is so brave, and quiet, that you often forget of his suffering. "you do what you need to, i know. but, still — it suits you. minho, it's beyond attractive. it's impressive and.. beautiful." perhaps you had intended your words to be more profound, more complex, but at the sight of minho, you tend to lose your train of thought. your simple language was open; and it didn't hide how much you admired him. you love his scars because none of them come without a story. bravery, stupidity — as rare as it might be for him — minho has earned them all, and overcame them.

you delicately tuck a piece of wavy brunet hair behind minho's ear, stopping it from sweeping his ear. minho's eyes slipped closed for a moment, his thick lashes kissing the swells of his cheeks as he lets out a small, giddy laugh. it whirls around your head and makes your heart beat faster against your ribcage. it made your stomach flutter and twist like a gust of wind whipping through a spring-fresh tree. when minho opens his eyes again, his pupils look significantly more dilated than before, his pink tongue peeking out from his mouth to wet his lips. "can i touch you?"

your heart softens. a burning need to sob at his kindness overwhelms you and chokes your throat. "i get it's the gentleman thing to do," the pads of your fingers stroke his burning cheeks. "to keep asking me, but minho, you can do whatever you want to me."

you excite minho. he grins, scooping you onto his lap and burying his head into the crook of your neck, flushed skin against flushed skin. his fingers circle your hipbone, "i am only as gentlemanly as you want me to be." he muttered into your body, which trembles for his touch. you do not push minho away, instead hooking your fingers into the muscle of his shoulders and tug, pull, palm him closer to you. there will always be molecules between the both of you and it is infuriating.

like stars, the red of yours and minho's mouths collide. he breathes into your lungs; he is a wonderful creation and it's your first time seeing heaven. the deliciously veiny set of hands slide up from your hips, and he's brave enough to draw circles around your breasts with the pads of his thumbs. you expected to stay cold for a lot while longer; but your body grew scorching hot very soon. he has that effect on you. the feeling of his strong, muscular thighs between your legs forces your appetite for him to boil over in your gut.

minho had spent his whole life accommodating others. everything removable, and soft in him murdered and replaced with hardness and stoicism. vulnerably, he sits under you, open and waiting — begging for you to take him apart. his body pleads for you to sit on the bed of the long, toned muscle of his thigh. he prays you will rest your swirling head on the cushion of his stuttering heart. he is your home, do you not understand? make it yours.

your body tries to shudder as his index finger dips into the waistband of your sweatpants and traces your slit, minho's lips morphing into a smirk as he feels the damp fabric of your underwear. the texture of his veiny, strong hands feel so overwhelmingly good on your skin that you can't help yourself when your hips roll to follow his touch. your fingers sneak into his hair and tug at his roots, bringing his head up as you press your lips onto his. your insatiable mouth kissed minho with all the power you could possibly muster — making up for all the years, months, weeks, days, minutes, even seconds that your lips had not been touching.

the way minho carefully thumbs your clit replaces the fluttery, airy feeling of arousal in your gut to the exact opposite: he replaces it with a heavy, empty ache that desperately needs to be filled for your sake. your mouths melt together, lips parting and tongues spreading the taste of the other in your mouths. minho's free hand hooks into the flesh of your hip to trap you, to stop them from rolling and grinding onto his lap, your cunt desperate to feel every inch of him. these touches feel like the start of forever. you want to touch him until his name is written on every atom used to craft you. in your eyes, the meaning of forever cannot hold you down from him.

desperation sits heavy on your tongue, and you want to plead and beg for minho to love you the same way tomorrow, and the next month, and the year after that. your fingers claw into his skin, and you shudder when he kisses your tongue with the same amount of devilishness he uses to charm your need for him into something carnal. minho pulls away from you, and you see his eyes light up as his mouth fills with something to say. words. you've had enough words for a lifetime, and yet you always find yourself stopping to hear his. you expect minho to maintain his gentlemanly behaviour, as he always did.

"do you trust me?" he asks, cryptically, his eyes gleaming and you're sure you can hear him purr if you concentrate on it over your thumping heart. with every breath in my body, you want to say. you do not; instead you kiss his temple and mutter, "of course." as sweetly and as genuine as one can muster when their body is aching for an orgasmic release. minho urges you off of his lap, and you follow his lead, slowly and curiously. you watch him with your head tilted to the side in fascination. even when you do not speak, a beautiful, sweet glow grows between the both of you.

his fingertips smoothed up the fabric of your sweatpants, pulling them and your underwear off in one motion. you instinctively closed your legs at the biting cold, a gasp leaving your throat and a shiver striking through you. minho's hands cupped both of your knees, "i need you to open up, sweetheart." can you do that for me? his eyes said, watching you intently. you have so much of him in your heart that it urges you to give in, to surrender yourself to minho and trust him, like you always do. so, you do exactly that.

you let minho place one of your legs above his shoulders, the inside of your knee fitting together against the curve of his shoulder like a puzzle. he buried himself between your legs, throwing himself to your body like you were an altar, and he a sacrifice. your cheeks burned — you felt so vulnerable and exposed. minho's thumbs spreads open your sex, unraveling you like a scholar would unravel the pages of a book: ravishing each morsel and dedicating a part of their life to it. minho kisses the inside of your thighs, the tip of his nose brushing against your skin and you sob. he is the only person to come this close to you.

at the feeling of his warm breath on your sex, you shudder, thighs tensing as you suck in a breath. you see minho's eyes stare into yours, peering up at you tenderly through his lashes. "let me take care of you. i promise you'll be okay." his voice is angelic as he purrs into your cunt. it makes you feel sinful, and you strangely surrender yourself into the feeling. you nod, "i trust you, minho." you breathe into a whisper. it takes a great effort not to allow your legs to squirm in minho's arms as he collects your arousal on his thumb, sampling your taste and spreading it through his mouth. is everything he does always this sexy?

he nestles into the softness of your thighs, the soft pink swells of his lips experimentally mouthing at your wet, velvet soft sex. you slope into his touch, soft and light moans sneaking into the cycle of your shaky breaths. pleased with your reaction, minho kisses your cunt just as intensely as he kissed your mouth, his tongue sinking into your slit and setting ablaze something that resided in the cage of your hips. your heel scattered around his toned back, hips bucking into his touch — you feel minho's warm spit drizzle down the inside of your legs from your sudden movement, and his mouth dips down to collect it like the world's most devoted servant.

the winter night has leeched enough heat from the earth to give you goosebumps; and you feel it is almost intentional. you feel minho smirk into your cunt and it's enough to drive you delirious. your desire for him begins to sound like hymns, and it gnaws through your restless skin and seeps into every corner of your mind. "need you," flutters from your mouth, drooling and lips parted. minho hums smugly at your confession, releasing himself from your cunt with an obscene smack. his head tilts up, swallowing his drool and your slick, his throat rolling in the sexiest way as he swallows, and immediately your half-working mind fed you with visions of suckling, kissing, and tonguing his neck.

minho covers your entire sex with his sweetly intense, red hot mouth. he chuckles fondly into your cunt when your fingernails press and dig into his forearms; when your back arches into his tongue and when you mewl out his name like you had just discovered it. you cry out minho's name over and over, until you're sure it's etched somewhere inside of your throat. the flat of minho's pink tongue rakes and slides against your slit, top to bottom and back up again. you sink into his touch and pray for his mercy as the tip of his nose bumps and prods at your sore, puffy clit. it has your lungs pouring out a squeal, until there's no breath left in you.

"fuck, don't shut up. no-one's around to hear." minho moans into you, eyeing the way your lips parted to sob and mewl his name. he gives your clit a satisfied kiss at the way you quickly obeyed him, his soft lips wrapping around your swollen clit and devotedly sucking. it puts goosebumps on his skin, at the way your fingers brush the wispy dark stray hairs out of minho’s face, clinging onto his hair and holding on for dear life; similarly, it feels like the same way he held onto your thighs. possessive.

you feel tears brim at your eyes, and you’re unsure of the meaning behind them. are you close to crying because of unfathomable pleasures that you’re unsure you can ever come down from – or because you don’t know if this is the first and last time that minho openly touches and loves you like he is now. he loves you continuously, and intensely, and you cannot bear to let this warm moment fade into a memory that will leave you utterly cold.

minho’s middle finger slips into your sobbing cunt, and the coldness of his skin inside of your searing heat tears a noise from your throat that makes him smirk. your heel digs into the hard, toned plane of his back. you want to tell him just how excellent of a job he’s doing, but when you try, all that comes out is “god minho!”. it makes the man in question chuckle at the double meaning. most commonly, it would be heard as ‘god, minho!’ — but his ego hears it as ‘god: minho!’ and it makes him want to worship you impossibly better than he already is.

how his jaw isn't tired, you don't know. with his skilled mouth, minho paints you a heaven of love with everything he's wanted to say. he's not pressed so tightly to you to preserve heat in the bitter, desolate mountains. your relationship with your bodyguard is complicated in every way. you want nothing more than to love each other the way your hearts beg to — but your lives obstruct that only wish. people talk, and in both of your worlds, these people are dangerous and will exploit your unity until the love for each other has been gutted and ripped from your tired, weary bodies. it is unsafe to brush your thumb over minho's lips, and it is unsafe to whisper 'i love you's', even when you're both deep into the night.

but here? where nothing else exists but each other, you are free to let the years worth of accumulated love flow freely from your bodies. but you know you will not stay like this forever. now that you've gotten this close; now that you've held his face, and hands, and body, you do not want to let go. but, eventually, you must. and you must let things go back to how they once were, as you did once before after minho cradled your sobbing body and tucked you into his bleeding middle, and kissed you so lovingly — so intensely, that you still feel the raw divinity of it all bleeding from the memory of his soft, soft pink lips.

he leaves your sobbing, sensitive body with a chaste, satisfied kiss. "beautiful." you hear him mutter, his voice soft and light. you, in your half-mad daze, stir after a few moments. minho's body heat is replaced by absolutely nothing. you give him a look he knows too well. what are you doing, he reads on your face. he smiles fondly, wiping your slick off of his lips and chin, "i want you to be closer to me. for your first time, you deserve intimacy." minho kisses up your torso, hands gliding up your thighs, over your hips. you lay there, bewildered by his honesty, his touch, his voice. there's no way he's real. you must have made him up in your mind, you're half sure of it. half sure because my god no one person could ever cook up someone this profound on their own. whichever god let minho out of their army is a fool.

your relationship with minho is always tested. when you first met him, he was cold and blunt and everything frustrating. his body was leaner then, and less experienced. he was mouthy and would always get into trouble, which rubbed off on you just as he was growing out of that phase. which, of course, birthed a new dynamic of minho having to pull you out of confrontations kicking and screaming and, many times, sobbing about how much you hated him. obviously you could never hate minho — but you were hurting, and so you wanted to hurt him the same way. in many instances, you confused 'i hate you' with 'i love you', when it came to minho. you had never surrendered yourself entirely to anyone before, and you are only now realising that minho had surrendered himself to you since the first day he met you. back then, the both of you were too scared to let your hearts speak, but when you and he are pressed together like this; his lips on your skin and your hands smoothing down his hair, you don't think you can ever go about life silently ever again.

you nod in surrender, sinking into his melodic voice like a rock in water, your hips aching with arousal and your skin flushed. you trust minho completely, and you show this by winding your hands around his neck, thumbs on his cheeks and fingers splayed in his hair and on his neck, and bring him into your kiss, pressing your lips to minho's like you were a love potion, sweet and hypnotic and so close to making his heart stop with each quick, needy peck on his plump, pink lips. you can feel his smile and you can see it written all over his face when you open your half-lidded eyes to see him: his long, thick lashes kissing the swells of his cheeks as his teeth peek out and his ears flush red. in your haze, you don't realise you've both sat up until you feel your hips absentmindedly rocking on your lap, desperate for friction and dripping on your sticky skin.

minho's large, veiny hand puts your fingertips on his belt. you don't remember when he took off his weapons from his holsters, but they're forgotten about and discarded somewhere on the icy cabin floor. your kiss is broken, but your love spell is not, and as you look into minho's deep brown eyes you see his love for you in them, shining like pearls on the ocean floor. you palm the rough leathery feel of his belt, and you realise what he's asking of you. he wants you to do this part — he wants it to be you who opens him up. minho's hot- scalding hot mouth kisses your neck and his teeth nips at your skin and you don't remember how you got his belt off, just that you did.

you want to tell him not to hold back, to pour everything out and let himself be vulnerable. for years he has swarmed your mind and forced you to guess everything about him — he has been your torturer in more ways than one ever since you met him. your time before knowing minho felt like a lifetime ago. maybe you weren't truly living until you heard his sweet voice purring in your ear and his commanding, skilled hands brushing against your skin with a challenging glint in his brown eyes. you plant a kiss on minho's jaw, a silent plea, the sounds of your wet lips smacking against his skin made him smirk, the skin of his deep cupid's bow curving into a smile.

the closest you and minho could get to each other wasn't nearly close enough. your eyes closed, hands winding around his body and your lips parted in concentration. your mind was slowly shutting down, allowing all sensations to your body to become the only thing that proves you're existing. that memory of the morning beach and the fresh feeling of minho's lips on your own is the last thing you think of: the salty ocean in the air and minho's body heat leaping out of his chest as he held you, just as you hold him now. even then, in his own way, he was trying to protect you.

minho's veiny hand holds the base of his warm, girthy cock as he introduces the head of his cock onto your dripping cunt. he gives you a once over, his paradoxically bambi-esque, feline eyes landing on yours. do you want this? his deep brown eyes ask. it melts your heart in more ways than one, and you give him a slow, deliberate nod.

“i won’t hurt you.” minho mutters, voice warm, as his dark eyes carefully linger on your eyes. he waits, until you give him a response, always looking for your consent. if someone were to cut you up and take a look at your heart, you feel as though it would be tender and bleeding and undoubtedly minho’s. your hand caresses his jaw for a moment.

“i know you won’t.” you don't realise you're smiling until minho's thumb brushes against your soft lips, trying to feel the words on your mouth. you take his hand in yours, fingers knotting together as he eases into you, piercing your entrance with his length and filling you up completely. you squeeze both his cock and his hand at the same time, tightening significantly when minho's sweat sticky chest hovered over yours, in all of his muscular, warm glory.

with faces in each other's necks, pulses in the other's ears, you realise breath by breath that you had been craving and needing this for years. minho kneels before you, his hand wrapped around your thigh to secure your position. you feel minho's throbbing cock in your sex with every breath, and the closer he inches inside of you, the worse the ache hits you all at once. his touch is like lightning, thunder clapping in your mind and electricity spreading mercilessly throughout your body. your fingernails press into minho's skin, a whimper bursting through your lips as he presses his hips into yours, his hilt just barely visible to him and your slick covering the both of you.

"you look perfect," minho mutters, thumb stroking your thigh. "just tell me when, beautiful." he cooed, somehow more than happy to kneel in a suspended state of pleasure just for your sake. he's perfectly content to just be in your soul as he always is; tormenting you. minho fills you to the brim and at your command, gives you two deep, fulfilling grinds into your sex, his brows furrowing and his eyes closing as he loses himself in your hot, deep cunt. the sounds are obscene and you're infinitely grateful minho happened to fuck you where no-one else could hear.

a part of you wants to be stained and branded as his, in fear he would ever leave you. but, for minho, the pain of living without you would be unimaginable. it's decided then and there, that in his next life, he would search for you and make you his; just as he is doing now. it's took him long enough. yours and minho's sweat tacky skin sticks together with a mind of their own, and following in your bodies' footsteps, you plant a kiss to minho's plump lips, then his nose bridge, his temple, begging and urging him on.

minho's hips and by extension, his cock, ruts into your sex; your sticky, wet arousal mixing and giving the illusion that you and he are melting into one another. you couldn't say where you end and he began. you swallow a sob, cunt clenching like molten silk on minho's length. he frowns at this, withdrawing his hips from you and leaving you in agonising emptiness, his lips on the shell of your ear and his hand forgetting your thigh and smoothing back your hair, "let me hear you." he muttered in that caramel voice of his. his tone was teasing and loving and commanding all at once.

who are you to deny him?

you squirm and squeal in his grip as minho’s wet, pink mouth kisses and licks down your torso, leaving a blazing trail of spit on your skin. at the same time, his slick, warm cock caresses your slit before sinking back into your waiting, inviting cunt. you live solely on the honey of his touch, intoxicated by the way minho truly savours every curve and inch of you. ironically enough, minho knows you too well, and he would like nothing more than to forget you for this moment; so he could discover and love you for the first time all over again.

the way minho’s length rutted into the scalding, blazing hollow of your sex between the cage of your hips could rewrite your history entirely. mewl after moan escaped from your lips, only contributing to the obscene sounds in the cabin: yours and minho’s moans mixed with the vulgar sounds of minho fucking your shared arousal into your sex, paired with the sound of the only bed creaking and smacking against the cabin wall created the perfect cocktail of ambience noise. the sensations of his touch is unimaginable and it leaves you melting into the mattress, mindless and drunk off of the entirely new experience. with every passing second, minho is immensely grateful that there’s no-one around the cabin you’re staying in for miles. not that it matters much, anyway: you’re the only person that exists when you’re caged between his arms like this. everyone else ceases to exist the moment you wind your hands around his neck and your dripping sex flutters beautifully around him.

the taste of the trying pains of loving the unavailable minho for years dissolve in your mouth. your eyes roll back in bliss while your eyelids start to close simultaneously, fingers hooked into minho’s burning hot skin. your hips meet his thrusts into you, the sound oddly reminiscent of waves colliding. minho likes it when your hips meet his, and he especially likes the noises you make when you meet like two magnets.

“does that feel good?” he asks when the tip of his cock hits a particularly sensitive spot inside of you. he’s teasing you — of course he knows it feels good. he just wants to hear you say it, to stroke his ego. nails digging further into his toned muscle, you swallow a cry and nod, complicit with his plans. you’re unsure what you end up mewling out, stuck between recalling it as ‘so good’, or ‘you’re good’. either way, minho almost purrs at the praise and adjusts your hips around his sides, skilled hands holding you in place as he gives you a good view of his veiny, tanned arms. with a slight change of positions you are introduced to a new world of sensations.

minho’s cock sears into you, setting your inexperienced sex ablaze. you squeal, tears flowing down your flushed cheeks and your throat growing hoarse as you let out a stringed moan that’s interrupted and punctuated with each thrust minho bestows upon you. in other words, you’re completely lost in the feeling of minho’s wonderfully skilled cock burying itself into your aching, puffy cunt.

deep within the night, minho lets you in on what he’s thinking. “can’t believe you’re this innocent..” he swoons, smirking as his hand strokes your leg, still in the perfect position he manoeuvred you into. your eyes open to glare at him, regardless if his searing hot, hard cock is giving you all the relief your body could’ve wanted. the sight above you makes you fall in love with him all over again. minho has his eyes closed, long thick lashes resting on the swells of his cheeks, pink swollen lips parted and cheeks beginning to flush as his brows furrow in concentration. his body seemed carved out of marble as it laid bare above you; like some lost piece of art. each inch of tanned muscle and raised scar and mole made you want to throw yourself onto his altar and worship him at his temple. you knew he would protect you as a god, too.

he wants to take it slow- he truly does, he tries so hard, especially considering it’s your first time — but minho concludes you feel too good and the pleased moans that flows from your lips like honey are too beautiful to ignore. your touch only entices him, drawing him in to guzzle down your love potion like his life depends on it. the temperature between your sweaty, clammy bodies climbs drastically; a contrast between the rigidly biting cold that lay inside and outside the cabin. minho’s hips ruts into you and his throat pours out a groan, guttaral and deep and drawn out as your slick cunt pulses with the weight of minho’s cock inside of you, pressing onto your guts and leaving your mind entirely fuzzy, silent almost.

the only thing keeping your mind from being fully silent is minho’s sounds repeating like a broken record. he presses his skin against yours, “wanted to do this to you f’ so long,” he slurs, clearly drunk on electrifying pleasure as his hips piston wildly and desperately into your sex, his biceps flexing as he anchors himself to the mattress. if you had half a mind to form a coherent thought, you would’ve scolded him for not fucking you sooner — but instead you answer him by letting your teeth sink into his neck, barely enough to bruise but enough for minho, even in his sex maddened daze, to differentiate it from a playful nip.

he cries out a moan, so loud you’re sure you physically felt it. your cunt clenches in response, almost purring at his sounds as your calves flail across his back in a pathetically amateurish attempt to bring minho closer to you. no matter what, you’re never satisfied with the lack of distance. perhaps it’s because you have years of experience seeing him so far away from you, but you feel as though minho could disappear through your hands like smoke at any given moment: you need him close at all times. even when he’s the closest to you he’s ever been, it cannot compete with the way your chest bleeds from the distance between you.

love isn’t gentle like people say. in songs, paintings, poems - any forms of art, really, love is always expressed as a wonderfully soft feeling that makes one feel as though their life has only just begun. but, for you and minho, love has claws and teeth which wounds never fully heal from each blow to the soul. love, for you, is a bleeding, agonising feeling that drives you mad, yet you find yourself always crawling back for another bite.

minho’s thrusts grow erratic, less rhythmic and more grinding into your newly deflowered cunt, desperate and meaner, as if he’s trying to split you open. it certainly feels that way, each slam of his hips into yours is reminiscent of a whip, slashing your skin and leaving it searing red, burning hot and without a doubt bruising in the morning. it turns less like a journey and more like a crusade — like an animalistic, primal pilgrimage that needs to leave marks in case either of you forget this night ever happened.

you struggle to find air; your mouth exhaling moans and whimpers and your nose buried into minho’s neck, close to his pulse just to feel that he’s alive, breathing and you’re not, in fact, dreaming. minho’s tone graduates from whispers to mutters to borderline yelling. you have the excitement and passion to thank for that. minho’s close, you can tell. his forearms brackets your head as he mouths kisses on your pulse, nose pressed into your jawline and scarred chest flush against your pristine skin. he jackhammers his pulsing cock into your sopping, achingly puffy cunt with so much force and vehemence you’re unsure if he loves you or hates you. he beings to forget his strength, and you’re already dreading the soreness your body will greet you with when you wake tomorrow.

your blood swirls in your head, your ears hearing it more clearer over minho’s muttering, but the few words you can make out makes your back arch and your eyes roll, mindless and so pleased to finally let minho take you like this. you hear things like ‘all mine’, ‘ruined f’ anyone else’, and ‘gorgeous like this, taking me so well’. it puts a heat in the cage of your hips so burning, intense like molten lava and even then you’d rather a thousand burning suns than this violent heat. tears trickle down your face, rolling and collecting in the hollow of your collarbones, thighs twitching and despite not even standing you want nothing more than to collapse in on yourself.

minho, on the other hand, digs his fingernails into every inch of your skin, pushing himself inside of you so eagerly you genuinely let out a cry, chest heaving as he bottoms out, the feverish desire for you reaching its high as he ruts his hips into you, balls sore and heavy as his orgasm finds him more intensely and quicker than a gunshot. it’s almost instant: like a flash of white, he’s pumping your cunt with pearly hot cum with his throat exposed, fully vulnerable.

the stringy fluid between the both of you is never ending, your own orgasm hitting you so harshly that your voice falls silent, eyes screwed shut and clutching minho’s hand so tightly that blood cannot get to his fingers. you’re sobbing; writhing under him, cunt spasming and lungs thrashing inside of your body, desperate to get air inside themselves. devoted, loving minho is there to coax you through it, kissing at your sweat slicked temple and brushing hair out of your face, “attagirl, you’re alright, breathe, sweetheart. i’ve got you, there we go, deep breaths, such a good girl you are,” he coos, fawning over you and stroking your arm.

you swear that as you hit your orgasm, you felt realms blur together and as you unavoidably came down from your high, you’re disoriented and unsure which plane of reality you’ve landed on. you’re exhausted and you’re seeing everything from a different perspective, and you realise even from above, fucked out and more exhausted than you, minho looks angelic. his golden skin is glistening and glowing in the dim light like a statue, and you want nothing more than to take him in your arms and kiss him until there’s no love left in your body.

you pay no mind to the wetness of cum flowing out of your sex in sporadic waves, instead busying yourself with showering minho in a heaven of love, courtesy of your kisses and sweet talk. he blushes and smiles at your kisses, his arm wrapping you into his chest and holding the back of your head loosely and protectively.

on the brink of falling asleep, you realise you couldn’t care less if you’re not the same devoted lovers tomorrow, or even after your retreat to a desolate mountain cabin is finished. all that matters is now — and you’ve both expressed that if it was up to you, this night would be an everyday occurrence, as is falling asleep next to each other and the obligatory ‘i love yous’. now that you’re worn out, on your side and half asleep already, you nestle into minho’s body and surrender yourself to any outcome. the memory of this night is enough to keep you from a lifetime of longing and want. once again, your minho has proven his devotion to you, and once again you find yourself feeling invincible in his touch.

on the fragile knife’s edge of sleep, minho strokes your clammy skin and you’re certain you hear him mutter into your hair: “i don’t think i want to go back to being minho. i want to stay yours forever. won’t you let me?” and even half asleep, your heart simultaneously flutters and crumbles. the first thing you’ll do tomorrow is kiss him until your lips are bruised and tell minho over and over again how he cannot be anything but yours — no matter who objects, no matter the danger, you and minho will remain as you did tonight.

[killedpink]

thank you sm for your kind words <3 words cant express how happy it made me, and for a while i was contemplating what to say, but i've decided nothing i can say will amount to how elated your reblog made me, soooo once again tysm ♡ im very thankful for you

[comet-falls]

Hard thought if you are still accepting

Let’s talk about Jisung! Specifically rock star Jisung who loves to tease you drifting the show and after would take u in the supply closet for a quickie . But do not be disheartened the man’s running on adrenaline soon after the show so he takes u home and fucks u on the kitchen counter as soon as you enter then moving to the shower before cuddling in bed post sex and concert haze <3333

Love love love your blog

Please ignore this if u feel uncomfortable

Also may I be 🪽anon ?

omg welcome bub!!! im actually obsessed with this and rocker jisung as a whole so vv excited, i hope you enjoy xxx also sorry for gate keeping this for a bit i’m struggling to write recently :(

“looked so good tonight princess,” smudged eyeliner mixed with the running show ever water as you threw your head back in a moan. jisung squeezed his hands on your hips and pulled you back, his cock thrusted further inside you. you clawed at the shower walls, pushing your ass against him, “teasing me on stage.”

how many orgasms had you had now? three? four? you lost count when his fingers curled inside you back at the kitchen counter, where he had you bent over and begging. he always got like that after performances with his band, and since you couldn’t go with him to the after party it all channeled into pure sexual frustration.

perhaps you shouldn’t go to the after parties anymore, if they all resulted in this.

“that man in the crowd kept watching you baby,” his mouth went on your neck, teeth grazing over a barely-visible mark he’d left earlier that week. “doubt he knew that you belonged to me. fuck, just wanted to pull you on stage and show him who you actually beg for.”

you clenched around him and whimpered, mouth falling agape when his made a fresh mark atop the old one. one of your hands moved from the shower wall to the back of his head, clawing at the wet hair from the shower head. “s-sungie.”

“next concert, i’ll make sure they all know you’re mine, princess.” he thrusted again and you nearly crumbled in his hands, nails digging into his head. you were so close, so sensitive from how he used you. “and you’ll show off each and every mark i leave.”

“fuck!” your orgasm overtook you, electricity running through you from your cunt to your fingers. tears welled in your eyes and you let out a broken moan, pulling at his hair in a desperate attempt to get him closer. jisung understood and cradled you to his chest, still thrusting himself into you.

his lips moved to your ear, kissing just under it. “that’s it princess, all mine. only i see you like this,” you nodded hastily, body shaking under the hot water and his burning touch. he hissed through his teeth, thrust growing sloppy and fast. you clenched tight around him and went with each movement. “fuck, all mine. you’re mine.”

[killedpink]

how old are you? dont see your age on your blog or navi anywhere but you're writing smut.

i was born in the early 2000s! it was in my bio for a bit, but it felt rlly crowded so i just put a skz quote! for privacy reasons i don’t explicitly state my age. i am old enough to be consuming and producing smut. i hope you understand why i don’t share my age, it’s simply a personal preference ♡ tysm for being interested in my blog!

[killedpink]

이 민호 | reflecting light.

🎧 masterlist !?

💭 synopsis: after years of a push and pull relationship with your assigned bodyguard, you leap at the opportunity to get inside his head when you're stuck in a cabin miles from society. what you don't expect is that he wants the same thing that you yearn for.

🐈‍⬛ word count: 8.3k

📂 contains: female reader, bodyguard minho, mutual pining, unestablished relationship, food mention, pet names, virgin reader, first time, oral sex, cum consumption, hair pulling, marking, noise kink, slight fingering, corruption kink, unprotected sex, creampie.

there's no heat in the sun. it's the light that wakes you, tangled in bedsheets and your sleep tender body shielding your eyes from the unwelcome light. the space in the bed next to you is beginning to freeze. minho's gone. he's usually the first to wake in the morning. in other words: you're not worried he's wandered off. that's not his job. that's not who he is.

it takes you longer than you'd like to admit for you to roll out of the warm, lonely bed.

you spot him at the kitchen counter, the oak island flooded with wood-chips, food containers and weapons. you sit at one of the stools, face in your hands as you watch minho cook. pancakes. you smile at the realisation, fondness welling up in your half groggy mind.

"good morning." he mutters absentmindedly, baritone voice husky. it hasn't been long since he woke himself, you conclude. he's uncharacteristically chatty this morning. usually, the only chatter you hear before seven is the sizzle of breakfast onto the hot metal frypan. yet again, this whole outing has been different. the circumstances weren't: someone was close to hurting you and your dutiful minho took you out of the equation. but laying next to you? holding your sleeping body? striking a conversation for the fun of it? minho rarely, if ever did things like these. it distracted him, as he put it. better an awkward silence than your life on the line, he'd insist, plump lips in a tiny frown.

you turn to the window, watching the still world outside in fascination. the wintery breath in the air sinks down in a sheer fog, frosting the pane and obscuring the earth's memory of summer. "yes, it is," you smile, eyes squinting to find the outline of the half thawed lake.

minho pushes the plate of pancakes in front of you without another word. his back is facing you again. you sigh, "are we going to talk about last night?" he turns to you curiously, without saying anything. you feel something build inside of you. a feeling you haven't felt for a long, long while. it irks you — his professionalism is by far one of the most frustrating qualities of minho. it is simultaneously attractive and infuriating.

both of his hands hold the edge of the table, leaning closer to you, "you can talk. i'll listen." minho raises a brow expectantly. his hair is getting longer again; a dark, rich brown that shines an almost red when the light manages to catch it just right. it hangs in mid air, semi obscuring his deep chestnut eyes — everything about him was so feline.

you sigh in faux resignation, a lick of fury lingering in a corner of your heart. "you haven't been that close to me since.." you pause, trying not to swallow your words. minho gave you an opportunity to talk. you'd be a fool not to prove your capabilities to him. "since the beach." he finishes coolly, a knowing glint lingering in his dark eyes as he stares at you through his long black lashes. you nod, at a loss for words.

one of his hands ruffles his hair, huffing in restraint. "i didn't mean to argue with you last night. i was.." he paused, tips of his ears beginning to burn. "i held you because i was trying to apologise. i was harsh, and i regret that." there are mere inches in-between the both of you.

as much as it hurts to say, because it means you have to realise it, you are dissatisfied with minho's apology. "you apologise to me, but you'll do it again." minho visibly bristled at your response, despite his admirable efforts to contain himself. he shook his head, "that's unfair." his voice was sentimental, open and vulnerable.

you waited, soundlessly.

"it's my job to keep you safe. i've done that — i still do that. if i tell you everything, i will be killing you. don't you understand that? you can't know the things i do and expect to be safe. i devote my life to keeping you protected, so can't you do the one thing i ask?"

you bit down on your tongue, and your gaze loitered on minho's face with a profound sense of regret and admiration. even in unimaginable amounts of hurt and frustration, he had never raised his voice at you. your eyes glittered with tears. shameful tears. they're heavier and saltier than ones of happiness, or of sadness. if it was possible, your tears seemed to hurt minho more than it did you. his lips parted, showing off his bunny teeth, and the swell of his top lip looked even plumper. his eyes softened, into big, round stars.

you dig the heels of your hands into your wet eyes, "i'm so sorry, minho." and you truly are. he moves to hold you, his hands stroke your hair and he doesn't flinch when you bury your tear soaked face into his torso. softly, with hands as gentle as rain, he tucks you away into his arms.

"you have nothing to apologise for, sweetheart. eat your breakfast, okay?" minho's strong hand rubbed up and down the length of your back delicately, as if he were unsure if you would break. you nod weakly, guilt still devouring you from the inside out.

he called you sweetheart, you realised.

sweetheart. it sounded fascinating in his beautiful mouth.

_

the crackling fire felt worthless. cold still managed to seep into your bones — your aching, heavy bones. the only warmth you felt was from minho, who sprawled himself out on you from the left. he smelled heavenly. his skin was soft, and you could feel the outline of his muscles through his shirt. there was little room to move under the shared blanket. it all felt so domestic. so.. right. this is how you wanted to be with minho. but, you know he's only this close with you to preserve heat in the winter night. it turns the butterflies in your stomach and the unfiltered swoon in your head sour. you sink into the bed, eyes fixated on the brightly flickering fire.

"i hate that we're like this.." you mutter out loud, voice raw and likely catching on the emotion in your tone. you prepare to elaborate if minho bites. you expect him to whip his head to face you and beg you to expand on your statement. he doesn't.

"i know. i'm sorry." minho's voice is husky. he buries his head into the nape of your neck, a cool nose pressing against your warm skin. it forces goosebumps from you — eager and persistent. your hands ball into fists, your bottom lip wobbling. it hurts to be this close to him; because you are always craving more.

"why can't we be like this every day?" you ask, futilely. the more you try to understand about minho, the more you realise you don't know anything about him. he was an enigma, in body and soul. you felt him nuzzle into your skin in thought. his hand, rosy at the knuckles, delicately caresses your arm, and his actions speak for him. 'i want to be like this, too.' it weeps.

"i.. i don't know." minho answers truthfully. is it possible he truly doesn't know? it seems unlike him. you want to unwrap his secrets like flower petals, to open them fully and allow him to bloom in the rays of your sun. "i want us to be like this every day. i am sorry."

minho. gentle, determined, golden minho. his tone is sweet and his voice heavy. you hear the pain in his mind when he speaks. how can he apologise? the words feel wrong coming out of his mouth. they turn into knives and twist inside of your gut. your hand falls from your lap to hold minho's hand; and you give it an affectionate squeeze. a medley of 'i love you', and 'you have nothing to be sorry for' translates from your wordless affection.

with the wood devouring fire singing in the background, you decide your next words.

"how about.." you begin, trying to ignore the sounds of your thumping, childish heart in your ears. "we hang up the titles and the statuses — just for tonight — and be who we want to be?"

"i would like that very much." minho chuckles, and you feel his smile on your bare skin. you revel in it, and you're suddenly glad you're miles off of the grid, because you're sure minho's beaming would make every lightbulb burst with his brightness. "who do you want to be tonight, minho?" you inquire. minho's brain doesn't even register what he utters, his mouth working mindlessly and without restraint; just as you promised.

"yours."

you twist in his lap like a cloud, light and gleaming. gingerly, the pads of your fingers glide over minho's face to brush the light-kissed hair from his eyes. the apples of his cheeks peek through and his eyes crinkle into crescent moons as he smiles at your touch. the contours of his angelic face are made impossibly prettier by the firelight. his plump, rounded lips glow from the warm light of the fire — he looks so homely. minho notices your staring.

"kiss me. i've wanted it long enough," he pleads, breathless.

and so, you kiss him. in a flurry, your lips glide over minho's; his top lip captured between your teeth. his lips are warm and wet and soft and so addictive. you sigh into the kiss as you realise this is all you've wanted. ever since he kissed you in that forgotten beach where the cave will never hold the same water, you've been haunted by his soft, soft skin and his devoted touch. when you're in his arms everything clicks into place.

your lips migrate from his mouth, and stop on minho's cheeks. his skin is soft, there, too. then the jaw. nose. chin. forehead. cheekbone. you cannot stop yourself. you feel his teeth peek out from his pink lips in a smile. you love him and it's getting worse. you kiss him, intending to search and understand him. you move on your own, and adoringly kiss every inch of him that he presents to you. and minho is ready for you love. he cannot go another day of choking it back — not when it feels this enriching. you want to sob, and wail at the emotions welling up inside of you. you touch each other with the most excruciating tenderness. you use a lifetime of love to pour into minho. you keep hold of each time he made you laugh, and smile and feel safe, and thrust it all back to him, each swoon-worthy memory replaying in your head and devoting a kiss to it.

your kisses are thank yous, and i love yous, and i miss yous, and i forgive yous all at once.

the moon has never seen either of you like this before. the only time you've ever kissed was under the watchful eye of the morning sun, its rays exploding on the ocean's horizon and glittering over your shadowy cave. your lips regrettably part from minho's. he rests his forehead on yours, his unearthly lips parted and his watery brown eyes gleaming like a spell under the soft orange glow of the fire.

"from the moment i kissed you, i have not been alive since. my heart beats only for you." minho's voice is smoky, and it doesn't dare travel far. his eyes gaze into yours, and many words appear in your mind to help comprehend them: whiskey, ebony. almond, feline. sparkling. does he ever tire of being so beautiful? at times like these, where intimacy is first nature and no-one else in the world could dare to exist but each other, you conclude that it suits you fine if everyone else finds minho horrible. he is your secret. he is your minho. you love him like grief loves rain — endlessly and without restraint, end, or beginning.

you place a kiss to his temple, your eyes fluttered closed comfortably, "i am yours, minho. please, show me i am yours." you feel his chest vibrate with a low chuckle. the sound vines through your mind and its roots sink and grow into your heart. his touch sears into your skin. whether minho comes to you as a lover or an executioner, you are wholly ready to receive him.

minho's fingers cradle your cheeks, his hands gentle as he kisses up your neck. "tell me." he mutters. "do you want me because it's me," he nips at your throat. you shudder, eyes scrunched closed as you try to lose everything into his touch. "or do you want me because i'm the only one around?" he asks, and judging by his tone, he is impervious to either. your open palm presses against his chest. it pains you to clarify it, but you know it is because he has never been loved by anyone before.

"minho." you start. "no world exists in where i want you only for convenience." you see the way his shoulders twitch as he contains a sob. "in every lifetime, i love you." you watch him melt and unfold before you, his deep brown eyes filling with tears. minho blinks them away, slowly, "then, i want to be the last man to do this to you."

you can't help the smile on your lips from his assumption. you brought minho's brow level with your mouth, sore from longing, and sweetly kissed his forehead. his nose bridge is next — and it scrunches as he smiles. minho's face grew so quickly warm that you giggled. in the most unsubtle way possible, minho withdrew his hips so you wouldn't feel the heat there; he closed his pure, warm chestnut eyes, wordlessly begging you to continue. your mouth fell to his neck, peppering kisses in areas no-one would think to reach. "you are the first man to do this to me." you whisper against his jaw, and you swear you can feel his golden, tanned skin burst into a sizzling burn that rolls off of his body and onto yours.

his fingers find the hem of your thick sweater. he rolls the fabric between the pads of his fingers, "can i take this off?" minho asks. you nod, "of course." your voice is soft, slow and you realise you have waited your whole life for this moment. minho's skin is blazingly warm as he slides under your sweater and coaxed it off of your flushed body. you mirror his actions, tugging at his hoodie wordlessly. minho's movements blur together as they fly around his hoodie, leaving him shirtless and shivering from the onslaught of cold.

minho's golden skin was a plane of hard earned muscle. with a little help from the soft light, you could see occasional marks of fairer skin on his body. scars. his abs, ribs, arms and pecs were littered with shrapnel marks and in lesser places: bullet holes. his collarbones, like pillars, started at he base of his throat and spread to the ends of his shoulders. he was mythic, and held down by miles of smooth skin. at your staring, minho frowned. "it's not.. attractive, i know. i'm sorry." he bowed his head. had he gone mad?

"no." you protested, devoted fingers tracing the contours of his torso and running over the healed wounds. you watch a shiver roll down his spine at your touch, ghosting over his skin. he is so brave, and quiet, that you often forget of his suffering. "you do what you need to, i know. but, still — it suits you. minho, it's beyond attractive. it's impressive and.. beautiful." perhaps you had intended your words to be more profound, more complex, but at the sight of minho, you tend to lose your train of thought. your simple language was open; and it didn't hide how much you admired him. you love his scars because none of them come without a story. bravery, stupidity — as rare as it might be for him — minho has earned them all, and overcame them.

you delicately tuck a piece of wavy brunet hair behind minho's ear, stopping it from sweeping his ear. minho's eyes slipped closed for a moment, his thick lashes kissing the swells of his cheeks as he lets out a small, giddy laugh. it whirls around your head and makes your heart beat faster against your ribcage. it made your stomach flutter and twist like a gust of wind whipping through a spring-fresh tree. when minho opens his eyes again, his pupils look significantly more dilated than before, his pink tongue peeking out from his mouth to wet his lips. "can i touch you?"

your heart softens. a burning need to sob at his kindness overwhelms you and chokes your throat. "i get it's the gentleman thing to do," the pads of your fingers stroke his burning cheeks. "to keep asking me, but minho, you can do whatever you want to me."

you excite minho. he grins, scooping you onto his lap and burying his head into the crook of your neck, flushed skin against flushed skin. his fingers circle your hipbone, "i am only as gentlemanly as you want me to be." he muttered into your body, which trembles for his touch. you do not push minho away, instead hooking your fingers into the muscle of his shoulders and tug, pull, palm him closer to you. there will always be molecules between the both of you and it is infuriating.

like stars, the red of yours and minho's mouths collide. he breathes into your lungs; he is a wonderful creation and it's your first time seeing heaven. the deliciously veiny set of hands slide up from your hips, and he's brave enough to draw circles around your breasts with the pads of his thumbs. you expected to stay cold for a lot while longer; but your body grew scorching hot very soon. he has that effect on you. the feeling of his strong, muscular thighs between your legs forces your appetite for him to boil over in your gut.

minho had spent his whole life accommodating others. everything removable, and soft in him murdered and replaced with hardness and stoicism. vulnerably, he sits under you, open and waiting — begging for you to take him apart. his body pleads for you to sit on the bed of the long, toned muscle of his thigh. he prays you will rest your swirling head on the cushion of his stuttering heart. he is your home, do you not understand? make it yours.

your body tries to shudder as his index finger dips into the waistband of your sweatpants and traces your slit, minho's lips morphing into a smirk as he feels the damp fabric of your underwear. the texture of his veiny, strong hands feel so overwhelmingly good on your skin that you can't help yourself when your hips roll to follow his touch. your fingers sneak into his hair and tug at his roots, bringing his head up as you press your lips onto his. your insatiable mouth kissed minho with all the power you could possibly muster — making up for all the years, months, weeks, days, minutes, even seconds that your lips had not been touching.

the way minho carefully thumbs your clit replaces the fluttery, airy feeling of arousal in your gut to the exact opposite: he replaces it with a heavy, empty ache that desperately needs to be filled for your sake. your mouths melt together, lips parting and tongues spreading the taste of the other in your mouths. minho's free hand hooks into the flesh of your hip to trap you, to stop them from rolling and grinding onto his lap, your cunt desperate to feel every inch of him. these touches feel like the start of forever. you want to touch him until his name is written on every atom used to craft you. in your eyes, the meaning of forever cannot hold you down from him.

desperation sits heavy on your tongue, and you want to plead and beg for minho to love you the same way tomorrow, and the next month, and the year after that. your fingers claw into his skin, and you shudder when he kisses your tongue with the same amount of devilishness he uses to charm your need for him into something carnal. minho pulls away from you, and you see his eyes light up as his mouth fills with something to say. words. you've had enough words for a lifetime, and yet you always find yourself stopping to hear his. you expect minho to maintain his gentlemanly behaviour, as he always did.

"do you trust me?" he asks, cryptically, his eyes gleaming and you're sure you can hear him purr if you concentrate on it over your thumping heart. with every breath in my body, you want to say. you do not; instead you kiss his temple and mutter, "of course." as sweetly and as genuine as one can muster when their body is aching for an orgasmic release. minho urges you off of his lap, and you follow his lead, slowly and curiously. you watch him with your head tilted to the side in fascination. even when you do not speak, a beautiful, sweet glow grows between the both of you.

his fingertips smoothed up the fabric of your sweatpants, pulling them and your underwear off in one motion. you instinctively closed your legs at the biting cold, a gasp leaving your throat and a shiver striking through you. minho's hands cupped both of your knees, "i need you to open up, sweetheart." can you do that for me? his eyes said, watching you intently. you have so much of him in your heart that it urges you to give in, to surrender yourself to minho and trust him, like you always do. so, you do exactly that.

you let minho place one of your legs above his shoulders, the inside of your knee fitting together against the curve of his shoulder like a puzzle. he buried himself between your legs, throwing himself to your body like you were an altar, and he a sacrifice. your cheeks burned — you felt so vulnerable and exposed. minho's thumbs spreads open your sex, unraveling you like a scholar would unravel the pages of a book: ravishing each morsel and dedicating a part of their life to it. minho kisses the inside of your thighs, the tip of his nose brushing against your skin and you sob. he is the only person to come this close to you.

at the feeling of his warm breath on your sex, you shudder, thighs tensing as you suck in a breath. you see minho's eyes stare into yours, peering up at you tenderly through his lashes. "let me take care of you. i promise you'll be okay." his voice is angelic as he purrs into your cunt. it makes you feel sinful, and you strangely surrender yourself into the feeling. you nod, "i trust you, minho." you breathe into a whisper. it takes a great effort not to allow your legs to squirm in minho's arms as he collects your arousal on his thumb, sampling your taste and spreading it through his mouth. is everything he does always this sexy?

he nestles into the softness of your thighs, the soft pink swells of his lips experimentally mouthing at your wet, velvet soft sex. you slope into his touch, soft and light moans sneaking into the cycle of your shaky breaths. pleased with your reaction, minho kisses your cunt just as intensely as he kissed your mouth, his tongue sinking into your slit and setting ablaze something that resided in the cage of your hips. your heel scattered around his toned back, hips bucking into his touch — you feel minho's warm spit drizzle down the inside of your legs from your sudden movement, and his mouth dips down to collect it like the world's most devoted servant.

the winter night has leeched enough heat from the earth to give you goosebumps; and you feel it is almost intentional. you feel minho smirk into your cunt and it's enough to drive you delirious. your desire for him begins to sound like hymns, and it gnaws through your restless skin and seeps into every corner of your mind. "need you," flutters from your mouth, drooling and lips parted. minho hums smugly at your confession, releasing himself from your cunt with an obscene smack. his head tilts up, swallowing his drool and your slick, his throat rolling in the sexiest way as he swallows, and immediately your half-working mind fed you with visions of suckling, kissing, and tonguing his neck.

minho covers your entire sex with his sweetly intense, red hot mouth. he chuckles fondly into your cunt when your fingernails press and dig into his forearms; when your back arches into his tongue and when you mewl out his name like you had just discovered it. you cry out minho's name over and over, until you're sure it's etched somewhere inside of your throat. the flat of minho's pink tongue rakes and slides against your slit, top to bottom and back up again. you sink into his touch and pray for his mercy as the tip of his nose bumps and prods at your sore, puffy clit. it has your lungs pouring out a squeal, until there's no breath left in you.

"fuck, don't shut up. no-one's around to hear." minho moans into you, eyeing the way your lips parted to sob and mewl his name. he gives your clit a satisfied kiss at the way you quickly obeyed him, his soft lips wrapping around your swollen clit and devotedly sucking. it puts goosebumps on his skin, at the way your fingers brush the wispy dark stray hairs out of minho’s face, clinging onto his hair and holding on for dear life; similarly, it feels like the same way he held onto your thighs. possessive.

you feel tears brim at your eyes, and you’re unsure of the meaning behind them. are you close to crying because of unfathomable pleasures that you’re unsure you can ever come down from – or because you don’t know if this is the first and last time that minho openly touches and loves you like he is now. he loves you continuously, and intensely, and you cannot bear to let this warm moment fade into a memory that will leave you utterly cold.

minho’s middle finger slips into your sobbing cunt, and the coldness of his skin inside of your searing heat tears a noise from your throat that makes him smirk. your heel digs into the hard, toned plane of his back. you want to tell him just how excellent of a job he’s doing, but when you try, all that comes out is “god minho!”. it makes the man in question chuckle at the double meaning. most commonly, it would be heard as ‘god, minho!’ — but his ego hears it as ‘god: minho!’ and it makes him want to worship you impossibly better than he already is.

how his jaw isn't tired, you don't know. with his skilled mouth, minho paints you a heaven of love with everything he's wanted to say. he's not pressed so tightly to you to preserve heat in the bitter, desolate mountains. your relationship with your bodyguard is complicated in every way. you want nothing more than to love each other the way your hearts beg to — but your lives obstruct that only wish. people talk, and in both of your worlds, these people are dangerous and will exploit your unity until the love for each other has been gutted and ripped from your tired, weary bodies. it is unsafe to brush your thumb over minho's lips, and it is unsafe to whisper 'i love you's', even when you're both deep into the night.

but here? where nothing else exists but each other, you are free to let the years worth of accumulated love flow freely from your bodies. but you know you will not stay like this forever. now that you've gotten this close; now that you've held his face, and hands, and body, you do not want to let go. but, eventually, you must. and you must let things go back to how they once were, as you did once before after minho cradled your sobbing body and tucked you into his bleeding middle, and kissed you so lovingly — so intensely, that you still feel the raw divinity of it all bleeding from the memory of his soft, soft pink lips.

he leaves your sobbing, sensitive body with a chaste, satisfied kiss. "beautiful." you hear him mutter, his voice soft and light. you, in your half-mad daze, stir after a few moments. minho's body heat is replaced by absolutely nothing. you give him a look he knows too well. what are you doing, he reads on your face. he smiles fondly, wiping your slick off of his lips and chin, "i want you to be closer to me. for your first time, you deserve intimacy." minho kisses up your torso, hands gliding up your thighs, over your hips. you lay there, bewildered by his honesty, his touch, his voice. there's no way he's real. you must have made him up in your mind, you're half sure of it. half sure because my god no one person could ever cook up someone this profound on their own. whichever god let minho out of their army is a fool.

your relationship with minho is always tested. when you first met him, he was cold and blunt and everything frustrating. his body was leaner then, and less experienced. he was mouthy and would always get into trouble, which rubbed off on you just as he was growing out of that phase. which, of course, birthed a new dynamic of minho having to pull you out of confrontations kicking and screaming and, many times, sobbing about how much you hated him. obviously you could never hate minho — but you were hurting, and so you wanted to hurt him the same way. in many instances, you confused 'i hate you' with 'i love you', when it came to minho. you had never surrendered yourself entirely to anyone before, and you are only now realising that minho had surrendered himself to you since the first day he met you. back then, the both of you were too scared to let your hearts speak, but when you and he are pressed together like this; his lips on your skin and your hands smoothing down his hair, you don't think you can ever go about life silently ever again.

you nod in surrender, sinking into his melodic voice like a rock in water, your hips aching with arousal and your skin flushed. you trust minho completely, and you show this by winding your hands around his neck, thumbs on his cheeks and fingers splayed in his hair and on his neck, and bring him into your kiss, pressing your lips to minho's like you were a love potion, sweet and hypnotic and so close to making his heart stop with each quick, needy peck on his plump, pink lips. you can feel his smile and you can see it written all over his face when you open your half-lidded eyes to see him: his long, thick lashes kissing the swells of his cheeks as his teeth peek out and his ears flush red. in your haze, you don't realise you've both sat up until you feel your hips absentmindedly rocking on your lap, desperate for friction and dripping on your sticky skin.

minho's large, veiny hand puts your fingertips on his belt. you don't remember when he took off his weapons from his holsters, but they're forgotten about and discarded somewhere on the icy cabin floor. your kiss is broken, but your love spell is not, and as you look into minho's deep brown eyes you see his love for you in them, shining like pearls on the ocean floor. you palm the rough leathery feel of his belt, and you realise what he's asking of you. he wants you to do this part — he wants it to be you who opens him up. minho's hot- scalding hot mouth kisses your neck and his teeth nips at your skin and you don't remember how you got his belt off, just that you did.

you want to tell him not to hold back, to pour everything out and let himself be vulnerable. for years he has swarmed your mind and forced you to guess everything about him — he has been your torturer in more ways than one ever since you met him. your time before knowing minho felt like a lifetime ago. maybe you weren't truly living until you heard his sweet voice purring in your ear and his commanding, skilled hands brushing against your skin with a challenging glint in his brown eyes. you plant a kiss on minho's jaw, a silent plea, the sounds of your wet lips smacking against his skin made him smirk, the skin of his deep cupid's bow curving into a smile.

the closest you and minho could get to each other wasn't nearly close enough. your eyes closed, hands winding around his body and your lips parted in concentration. your mind was slowly shutting down, allowing all sensations to your body to become the only thing that proves you're existing. that memory of the morning beach and the fresh feeling of minho's lips on your own is the last thing you think of: the salty ocean in the air and minho's body heat leaping out of his chest as he held you, just as you hold him now. even then, in his own way, he was trying to protect you.

minho's veiny hand holds the base of his warm, girthy cock as he introduces the head of his cock onto your dripping cunt. he gives you a once over, his paradoxically bambi-esque, feline eyes landing on yours. do you want this? his deep brown eyes ask. it melts your heart in more ways than one, and you give him a slow, deliberate nod.

“i won’t hurt you.” minho mutters, voice warm, as his dark eyes carefully linger on your eyes. he waits, until you give him a response, always looking for your consent. if someone were to cut you up and take a look at your heart, you feel as though it would be tender and bleeding and undoubtedly minho’s. your hand caresses his jaw for a moment.

“i know you won’t.” you don't realise you're smiling until minho's thumb brushes against your soft lips, trying to feel the words on your mouth. you take his hand in yours, fingers knotting together as he eases into you, piercing your entrance with his length and filling you up completely. you squeeze both his cock and his hand at the same time, tightening significantly when minho's sweat sticky chest hovered over yours, in all of his muscular, warm glory.

with faces in each other's necks, pulses in the other's ears, you realise breath by breath that you had been craving and needing this for years. minho kneels before you, his hand wrapped around your thigh to secure your position. you feel minho's throbbing cock in your sex with every breath, and the closer he inches inside of you, the worse the ache hits you all at once. his touch is like lightning, thunder clapping in your mind and electricity spreading mercilessly throughout your body. your fingernails press into minho's skin, a whimper bursting through your lips as he presses his hips into yours, his hilt just barely visible to him and your slick covering the both of you.

"you look perfect," minho mutters, thumb stroking your thigh. "just tell me when, beautiful." he cooed, somehow more than happy to kneel in a suspended state of pleasure just for your sake. he's perfectly content to just be in your soul as he always is; tormenting you. minho fills you to the brim and at your command, gives you two deep, fulfilling grinds into your sex, his brows furrowing and his eyes closing as he loses himself in your hot, deep cunt. the sounds are obscene and you're infinitely grateful minho happened to fuck you where no-one else could hear.

a part of you wants to be stained and branded as his, in fear he would ever leave you. but, for minho, the pain of living without you would be unimaginable. it's decided then and there, that in his next life, he would search for you and make you his; just as he is doing now. it's took him long enough. yours and minho's sweat tacky skin sticks together with a mind of their own, and following in your bodies' footsteps, you plant a kiss to minho's plump lips, then his nose bridge, his temple, begging and urging him on.

minho's hips and by extension, his cock, ruts into your sex; your sticky, wet arousal mixing and giving the illusion that you and he are melting into one another. you couldn't say where you end and he began. you swallow a sob, cunt clenching like molten silk on minho's length. he frowns at this, withdrawing his hips from you and leaving you in agonising emptiness, his lips on the shell of your ear and his hand forgetting your thigh and smoothing back your hair, "let me hear you." he muttered in that caramel voice of his. his tone was teasing and loving and commanding all at once.

who are you to deny him?

you squirm and squeal in his grip as minho’s wet, pink mouth kisses and licks down your torso, leaving a blazing trail of spit on your skin. at the same time, his slick, warm cock caresses your slit before sinking back into your waiting, inviting cunt. you live solely on the honey of his touch, intoxicated by the way minho truly savours every curve and inch of you. ironically enough, minho knows you too well, and he would like nothing more than to forget you for this moment; so he could discover and love you for the first time all over again.

the way minho’s length rutted into the scalding, blazing hollow of your sex between the cage of your hips could rewrite your history entirely. mewl after moan escaped from your lips, only contributing to the obscene sounds in the cabin: yours and minho’s moans mixed with the vulgar sounds of minho fucking your shared arousal into your sex, paired with the sound of the only bed creaking and smacking against the cabin wall created the perfect cocktail of ambience noise. the sensations of his touch is unimaginable and it leaves you melting into the mattress, mindless and drunk off of the entirely new experience. with every passing second, minho is immensely grateful that there’s no-one around the cabin you’re staying in for miles. not that it matters much, anyway: you’re the only person that exists when you’re caged between his arms like this. everyone else ceases to exist the moment you wind your hands around his neck and your dripping sex flutters beautifully around him.

the taste of the trying pains of loving the unavailable minho for years dissolve in your mouth. your eyes roll back in bliss while your eyelids start to close simultaneously, fingers hooked into minho’s burning hot skin. your hips meet his thrusts into you, the sound oddly reminiscent of waves colliding. minho likes it when your hips meet his, and he especially likes the noises you make when you meet like two magnets.

“does that feel good?” he asks when the tip of his cock hits a particularly sensitive spot inside of you. he’s teasing you — of course he knows it feels good. he just wants to hear you say it, to stroke his ego. nails digging further into his toned muscle, you swallow a cry and nod, complicit with his plans. you’re unsure what you end up mewling out, stuck between recalling it as ‘so good’, or ‘you’re good’. either way, minho almost purrs at the praise and adjusts your hips around his sides, skilled hands holding you in place as he gives you a good view of his veiny, tanned arms. with a slight change of positions you are introduced to a new world of sensations.

minho’s cock sears into you, setting your inexperienced sex ablaze. you squeal, tears flowing down your flushed cheeks and your throat growing hoarse as you let out a stringed moan that’s interrupted and punctuated with each thrust minho bestows upon you. in other words, you’re completely lost in the feeling of minho’s wonderfully skilled cock burying itself into your aching, puffy cunt.

deep within the night, minho lets you in on what he’s thinking. “can’t believe you’re this innocent..” he swoons, smirking as his hand strokes your leg, still in the perfect position he manoeuvred you into. your eyes open to glare at him, regardless if his searing hot, hard cock is giving you all the relief your body could’ve wanted. the sight above you makes you fall in love with him all over again. minho has his eyes closed, long thick lashes resting on the swells of his cheeks, pink swollen lips parted and cheeks beginning to flush as his brows furrow in concentration. his body seemed carved out of marble as it laid bare above you; like some lost piece of art. each inch of tanned muscle and raised scar and mole made you want to throw yourself onto his altar and worship him at his temple. you knew he would protect you as a god, too.

he wants to take it slow- he truly does, he tries so hard, especially considering it’s your first time — but minho concludes you feel too good and the pleased moans that flows from your lips like honey are too beautiful to ignore. your touch only entices him, drawing him in to guzzle down your love potion like his life depends on it. the temperature between your sweaty, clammy bodies climbs drastically; a contrast between the rigidly biting cold that lay inside and outside the cabin. minho’s hips ruts into you and his throat pours out a groan, guttaral and deep and drawn out as your slick cunt pulses with the weight of minho’s cock inside of you, pressing onto your guts and leaving your mind entirely fuzzy, silent almost.

the only thing keeping your mind from being fully silent is minho’s sounds repeating like a broken record. he presses his skin against yours, “wanted to do this to you f’ so long,” he slurs, clearly drunk on electrifying pleasure as his hips piston wildly and desperately into your sex, his biceps flexing as he anchors himself to the mattress. if you had half a mind to form a coherent thought, you would’ve scolded him for not fucking you sooner — but instead you answer him by letting your teeth sink into his neck, barely enough to bruise but enough for minho, even in his sex maddened daze, to differentiate it from a playful nip.

he cries out a moan, so loud you’re sure you physically felt it. your cunt clenches in response, almost purring at his sounds as your calves flail across his back in a pathetically amateurish attempt to bring minho closer to you. no matter what, you’re never satisfied with the lack of distance. perhaps it’s because you have years of experience seeing him so far away from you, but you feel as though minho could disappear through your hands like smoke at any given moment: you need him close at all times. even when he’s the closest to you he’s ever been, it cannot compete with the way your chest bleeds from the distance between you.

love isn’t gentle like people say. in songs, paintings, poems - any forms of art, really, love is always expressed as a wonderfully soft feeling that makes one feel as though their life has only just begun. but, for you and minho, love has claws and teeth which wounds never fully heal from each blow to the soul. love, for you, is a bleeding, agonising feeling that drives you mad, yet you find yourself always crawling back for another bite.

minho’s thrusts grow erratic, less rhythmic and more grinding into your newly deflowered cunt, desperate and meaner, as if he’s trying to split you open. it certainly feels that way, each slam of his hips into yours is reminiscent of a whip, slashing your skin and leaving it searing red, burning hot and without a doubt bruising in the morning. it turns less like a journey and more like a crusade — like an animalistic, primal pilgrimage that needs to leave marks in case either of you forget this night ever happened.

you struggle to find air; your mouth exhaling moans and whimpers and your nose buried into minho’s neck, close to his pulse just to feel that he’s alive, breathing and you’re not, in fact, dreaming. minho’s tone graduates from whispers to mutters to borderline yelling. you have the excitement and passion to thank for that. minho’s close, you can tell. his forearms brackets your head as he mouths kisses on your pulse, nose pressed into your jawline and scarred chest flush against your pristine skin. he jackhammers his pulsing cock into your sopping, achingly puffy cunt with so much force and vehemence you’re unsure if he loves you or hates you. he beings to forget his strength, and you’re already dreading the soreness your body will greet you with when you wake tomorrow.

your blood swirls in your head, your ears hearing it more clearer over minho’s muttering, but the few words you can make out makes your back arch and your eyes roll, mindless and so pleased to finally let minho take you like this. you hear things like ‘all mine’, ‘ruined f’ anyone else’, and ‘gorgeous like this, taking me so well’. it puts a heat in the cage of your hips so burning, intense like molten lava and even then you’d rather a thousand burning suns than this violent heat. tears trickle down your face, rolling and collecting in the hollow of your collarbones, thighs twitching and despite not even standing you want nothing more than to collapse in on yourself.

minho, on the other hand, digs his fingernails into every inch of your skin, pushing himself inside of you so eagerly you genuinely let out a cry, chest heaving as he bottoms out, the feverish desire for you reaching its high as he ruts his hips into you, balls sore and heavy as his orgasm finds him more intensely and quicker than a gunshot. it’s almost instant: like a flash of white, he’s pumping your cunt with pearly hot cum with his throat exposed, fully vulnerable.

the stringy fluid between the both of you is never ending, your own orgasm hitting you so harshly that your voice falls silent, eyes screwed shut and clutching minho’s hand so tightly that blood cannot get to his fingers. you’re sobbing; writhing under him, cunt spasming and lungs thrashing inside of your body, desperate to get air inside themselves. devoted, loving minho is there to coax you through it, kissing at your sweat slicked temple and brushing hair out of your face, “attagirl, you’re alright, breathe, sweetheart. i’ve got you, there we go, deep breaths, such a good girl you are,” he coos, fawning over you and stroking your arm.

you swear that as you hit your orgasm, you felt realms blur together and as you unavoidably came down from your high, you’re disoriented and unsure which plane of reality you’ve landed on. you’re exhausted and you’re seeing everything from a different perspective, and you realise even from above, fucked out and more exhausted than you, minho looks angelic. his golden skin is glistening and glowing in the dim light like a statue, and you want nothing more than to take him in your arms and kiss him until there’s no love left in your body.

you pay no mind to the wetness of cum flowing out of your sex in sporadic waves, instead busying yourself with showering minho in a heaven of love, courtesy of your kisses and sweet talk. he blushes and smiles at your kisses, his arm wrapping you into his chest and holding the back of your head loosely and protectively.

on the brink of falling asleep, you realise you couldn’t care less if you’re not the same devoted lovers tomorrow, or even after your retreat to a desolate mountain cabin is finished. all that matters is now — and you’ve both expressed that if it was up to you, this night would be an everyday occurrence, as is falling asleep next to each other and the obligatory ‘i love yous’. now that you’re worn out, on your side and half asleep already, you nestle into minho’s body and surrender yourself to any outcome. the memory of this night is enough to keep you from a lifetime of longing and want. once again, your minho has proven his devotion to you, and once again you find yourself feeling invincible in his touch.

on the fragile knife’s edge of sleep, minho strokes your clammy skin and you’re certain you hear him mutter into your hair: “i don’t think i want to go back to being minho. i want to stay yours forever. won’t you let me?” and even half asleep, your heart simultaneously flutters and crumbles. the first thing you’ll do tomorrow is kiss him until your lips are bruised and tell minho over and over again how he cannot be anything but yours — no matter who objects, no matter the danger, you and minho will remain as you did tonight.

[gimmeurtmi]

thinking about grabbing seungmin by the waistband of his sweats and pulling him closer.. he’d be surprised for a second, brown eyes so big and curious, but after a moment his shit eating grin is back and he looks just like a menace puppy again. “want me bad, yeah?” he’d smirk at you. you’d roll your eyes at him but that wouldn’t stop you from running your hands up his stomach, his oversized hoodie hiding so much of how beautiful his body is underneath. thinking about leaning up to kiss him while you rub your thumb over his hip bones, back and forth across his stomach. he slowly loses his composure, getting more needy the more you whine into his mouth, simply loving the way his soft skin feels against your fingers. and then you tug on his sweats again, pulling him even closer to you but this time slipping your other hand into the gap you’ve created. you slowly cup him through his boxers, and seungmin makes a sound between a moan and a sigh and it’s so fucking addicting to listen to you that you just keep going. thinking about the way he’d wrap his arms along with his sweater paws around your shoulders to pull you in closer and kiss you while you lazily jerk him off, smartass comments completely left behind as he moans your name softly.

[killedpink]

really rlly reallly hard not to imagine this right now </3

[killedpink]

Hi, just a heads up @/hyunjinjagi is a thief. They've stolen two fics from two different writers on here. I just wanted to send you this because I saw that they follow you and, I thought you should know.

tysm for letting me know anon! i really appreciate it <3 luckily they haven’t stolen anything of mine, but regardless i’m very grateful you took the time to let me know ♡

[straykeedz]

goodnight; lmh

Pairing: Lee Know x reader;

Genre: drabble; 

Rating: smut, fluff; 

Word count: 1.3k-ish;

Warnings: explicit content [clit play, unprotected piv intercourse (don't), cream🥧]; Minho’s a cutie in this one; 

Disclaimer: this is pure fiction! also, English is not my first language, so feel free to correct me if you spot any mistakes!

❤︎

It’s one of those nights. 

One of those nights where you just can’t sleep.

Your boyfriend is asleep next to you, has been for hours now. He’s spooning you, his arm wrapped around your figure. You usually don’t have much trouble falling asleep, especially if Minho’s by your side, but tonight’s just different. 

You let out a deep sigh, realizing you’re nowhere near to falling asleep. 

All of a sudden, you feel Minho’s hand squeeze your waist. You jolt in surprise, for you weren’t expecting him to be awake at nearly two in the morning. You turn your head to look at him over your shoulder. His eyes are still closed, but you know he’s awake. You can tell by the way his breathing changed. 

“Thought you were sleeping…”, you murmur. 

He yawns sleepily. “I was. You were squirming a lot.”, he points out. 

“I’m sorry, baby.”, you mutter, feeling guilty. 

“It’s okay.” He pulls you closer to his body, and slips his hand under your t-shirt -well, it’s technically his t-shirt-. “What’s up, baby?”, he places a soft kiss on your clothed shoulder, gently caressing your abdomen with the pads of his fingers. “Can’t sleep?”

“Mh-hm.”, you hum. 

“Why?” Minho’s fingers trace imaginary shapes on your skin. “Is something on your mind, baby?”, he asks, kissing the nape of your neck, which sends a shiver down your spine and makes your breath hitch. 

Is something on your mind? You don’t know, to be honest. There’s nothing that’s particularly bothering you, you just can’t sleep. You shake your head. 

“You sure?”, he murmurs. 

His raspy, sleepy voice makes your heart start beating faster as you feel yourself getting wet. 

“Positive.”, you reassure him. “I just can’t sleep.”

His fingers move southwards. “Maybe I can help with that?”, he whispers. Now his fingers are right above the hem of your panties, toying with the delicate lace. Your eyes widen. He places a kiss behind your ear, earning a muffled moan from you. You can’t see him, but he smirks, satisfied. “Can I?”, he asks for permission.

You nod. A whimper leaves your mouth when his knuckles brush your clothed core, right above your clit. Damn, this man really knows how to make you squirm for him. Then, you feel the pad of his index and middle finger right on your slit. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re soaked.”, he lets out a small whimper, clearly surprised to have found your panties so wet. “Can I take these off, sweetheart?”, he asks, toying with the hem of your underwear, ready to slide them off your thighs.  

“Yes.”, you whisper.

Minho kisses your clothed shoulder once again, as he slowly slides your panties over the curve of your ass and, finally, off your things. You feel his erection pressed against your back, and move your hand to touch him, but Minho grabs you by the wrist and halts your movements before you could reach his hard cock. 

“Not now, sweetheart. This is about you.”, he whispers into your ear. 

He brings his fingers to his mouth to coat them in his saliva, and you honestly think you’re about to pass out when he places them on your clit. A moan escapes your lips as soon as he starts to draw circular shapes on your sensitive nub. 

“Do you like that, sweetheart?”, he asks. 

“Yes- fuck”, you let out a choked moan. “I love it.”

He doesn’t respond to that, and keeps on rubbing on your clit instead. You whimper at the loss of contact when his fingers move southwards to your slit to collect your wetness. 

He lets out a deep, guttural groan. “Fuck, babygirl, you’re so wet.”, he delicately bites on your shoulder. “I could slip right in…”, he whispers, circling your entrance with his fingers, before bringing them back on your clit.

You want it. 

“Please do.”

You feel his raging hard cock twitch in his boxers. 

“You don’t want to cum first, sweetheart?”, he asks, wanting to make sure it’s what you really want. 

You shake your head. “Want you.” 

He groans, before retrieving his long fingers from your clit. Then, he swiftly gets rid of his underwear, and you jolt at the sudden contact of his bare, hard cock with your naked ass. He lifts your t-shirt over your hips to make sure it doesn’t get in the way. Then, you feel the tip of his cock gently brushing your wet, sticky slit. He rests his hand on your hip, gently squeezing the flesh, as he coats the tip of his erection in your arousal. 

“You ready?”, he asks to make sure you haven’t changed your mind in the meanwhile. 

You haven’t. You want this very much. 

“Yes.”

Then, you feel the tip of his cock gently enter you, parting your folds. You can’t help but let out a whiny moan at the familiar stretch. Minho lets out a deep grunt as he squeezes on your hip harder. His cock is not even halfway in and you’re already dripping, and it turns him on like crazy. 

He pushes in slowly, careful not to hurt you. Once you’re full to the brim, he takes a few moments to let you adjust to the feeling of having him inside you. The feeling is familiar, yet it never fails to amaze you, it’s like you were made for each other. 

“So tight, sweetheart.”, he moans, biting on his lower lip as he feels his cock twitch inside you. 

You turn to face him, desperate to feel his lips on yours. “So big.”, you moan on his lips, before kissing him again. 

He starts to gently rocking his hips, thrusting inside your slit as wet sounds fill the room. He slips his hand under your t-shirt once again, and cups one of your breasts, squeezing it, careful not to hurt you. 

“I wanna fuck this pussy forever.”, he groans, pinching your nipple with the pads of his fingers, earning a choked moan from you. The tip of his cock repeatedly brushes over your g-spot, and you know you’re getting closer and closer to reaching your high. “Wanna marry you, babygirl.”, he bites on your shoulder to muffle his own moans. “Wanna fuck you forever.”, he repeats. 

As he keeps talking to you, you feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, your arousal now drenching his cock and his balls. The pressure on your g-spot is just right, and you’re starting to feel the familiar sensation of your orgasm approaching. 

“Are you gonna cum, babygirl?”, he asks you and you nod in response, breathing getting heavier. 

Minho removes his hand from your chest and brings it back on your pussy, and starts to play with your clit once again. His cock and fingers bring you over the edge in record time, and before you know it, you’re squeezing like crazy around his cock, coating it in your release. 

“Fuck- I’m close babygirl, I’m so close.”, he chants, his movements becoming irregular as he desperately tries to reach his own high. “Gonna cum inside you- oh God.”, he chokes. 

Then, he halts his movements and stops thrusting. You feel his cock twitch like crazy inside of you, and you feel his warm liquid squirt out of him, coating your walls.

You remain silent for a while, your bedroom filled only with your heavy breathings. Minho gently kisses the back of your neck as he comes down from his breathtaking high. His cock is softening inside of you, allowing his seed to drip out of you. 

“I love you so much, y/n.”, he whispers, sounding already sleepy. 

“I love you too.”, you turn your head to place a soft kiss on Minho’s forehead. “I don’t want to get up…”, you whine, you feel too comfortable in his embrace. 

“No, don’t get up.”, he pouts in protest, squeezing your body even tighter and you laugh at his cute reaction. “Why do you have to get up?”

“I’ve got to pee and clean myself, baby, but I’ll be back quick and then we can cuddle and fall asleep like that, okay?”

Minho can’t help but smile. “Sounds perfect.”

❤︎

[killedpink]

the pacing! the dialogue!! this fic was so cute and well written! ♡