sarcasm and wine

daughter of the witches you couldn't burn insta: stormyteacups

[funnyandwittyname]

Lil Nas X does what people think Harry Styles does

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

men?

[nickyandmikey]

chilling

[ftonews]

Keep your eyes open. This fight isn't over. We will get real peace.

[fanonical]

the ministry: hrrrrm i think the murderer is hagrid

years later, the guy who 'caught' hagrid: i hate mudbloods kill all muggles worship the snake

the ministry the next time the chamber is opened: hrrrrm i think its hagrid

[iguanamouth]

when youre pregnant you can only eat tiny miniature versions of foods otherwise the the baby wont be able to fit it in its little mouth im a scientist

[thebootydiaries]

me: *sneezes*

mom: remember January 14th 2008 when i told you to bring a jacket

[spuffygifs]

favorite spike + dawn moments: s5e13 | Blood Ties 

[awed-frog]

This is both amazing and profoundly irritating - the exact writing equivalent of that thing artists do - you know, how they’ll mess up anything that’s on expensive paper and planned in every single detail but get them doodling during a boring lesson and suddenly they’re Michel-bloody-angelo.

[faggottt]

Uber: “I’m in a blue Honda Civic.”

Me: “ok”

Me to me: “ok, we know what blue is”

[hematitehearts]

Interesting Group of Green Fluorite

Locality: Davib East Farm 61, Karibib District, Erongo Region, Namibia

Size: 3.7 x 2.2 x 2.2 cm

[ginger-ale-official]

Hohoho! This gem looks just like a cock and balls! What a silly stone!

[rohie-deactivated20191102]

squad is over we’re cults now

[aly-semi-archived-deactivated20]

Antiamericanism is good. smug Europeans who denigrate American in order to presume their own nations are not equally complicit in colonialism and imperialist violence are bad.

[tinynebula]

when i was a little girl i wanted to be harry potter. not hermione, i did loved her, but i wanted to be harry. the hero, the chosen one, the special one. when i saw star wars, i wanted to be luke skywalker. the gentle hero, the beacon of hope. when i saw iron man, i wanted to be tony stark. the one that learns from his mistakes and works on being a better version of himself.

i didn’t need to be a boy to be able to feel powerful and inspired by their stories. when i saw wonder woman, and when i now see captain marvel, i feel capable, powerful. i feel like kindness, empathy, wit, perseverance, all traditionally feminine traits, are all qualities that define a hero. i love that they’re women. but that’s only a part of what makes them powerful.

when men say they can’t relate to ww or cm, they are the problem. i see heroes. i see role models. if i see steve rogers and i see a hero, but they can only see carol danvers from a distance and as a pair of boobs, they are the problem.

let’s not pretend otherwise. they need to learn that heroes come in all genders, shapes and sizes. it’s time to tell their stories. it’s time to teach little boys to love heroes like captain marvel, the same way i loved harry potter.

[rosamundpikesource]

I want to talk to you about sports, but a weird sport that I found out that you play. I don’t think it’s legal to play. That’s probably true. Is it called fire hockey?

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

every time i see this, ive managed to forget about it and it newly becomes the best thing ive ever seen

[tankaramo]

me, making a phone call: god i hope they don’t answer

[fanonical]

i think dumbledore should have just stuck the philosopher’s stone in the room of requirement. it seems to be where all plot-critical artefacts eventually end up after all

[loughnesstwo-deactivated2021101]

“Trick or Yeet!” I shout to the children when I open the door. “Yeet?” one says confusidly. I shrug. “Yeet it is.” I throw the child.

[technicallyoneofakind]

Not Halloween but, okay. 

[loughnesstwo-deactivated2021101]

okay you stick of unsalted butter i made this on halloween but everyone just likes to reblog it for some reason