See No Evil ♰ Be No Evil

♰ Valkenier ♰ 26 ♰ Bi ♰ USA

[skulandcrossbones]

[vernadskova-deactivated20230803]

[killingwithklineness]

I legitimately fear a day will come when we will have to pay a subscription service to de-ad the sky just so we can see the fucking stars.

[tonyalmeida]

[focksincrocks]

[tricktster]

I ever tell you guys about my ethically dubious radio show back in college? The Mad Dad Hour?

[tricktster]

it was an entire radio show built around perpetuating a very simple joke, but it was uniquely powerful in its capacity to prompt the reaction I was looking for.

so my slot was at the tail end of rush hour, and i got a fair number of listeners/callers who were on the way home from the office. And like, I had a lot of callers, who almost all wanted to request songs that really didn’t fit with the aesthetic. I had pitched a power pop show when i got my slot, but the callers were not having it; they invariably wanted classic rock.

this made sense in a way. if you think about the demographics of the people who listened to the radio for music in 2010 instead of their ipods or cds or whatever, you’d expect them to skew older right? accordingly, i quickly realized that almost all of the people who called to request songs were Dads of a Certain Age. It was honestly annoying at first - I’m all for most classic rock, but that wasn’t what the show was supposed to be.

And so one day, when i was feeling particularly annoyed with requests that just didn’t fit thematically, i came up with the joke that rapidly became the only reason I kept the show going. Per station rules, I had to play a certain number of pre-recorded PSAs during my show, and before I cut to one I was supposed to read out the song titles and artists for all the music i had played before the break. So this one day when i had to inform the world before the break that the song they just heard was, per a listener’s request, Hey Jude by the Beatles, I decided to do a goof. I said:

“and finally, that last song you heard was Hey Jude, which was of course written and performed by the Rolling Stones.”

I barely had time to get the ads going before the phone started ringing. See, I had been assuming people would realize i was making an obvious joke by claiming one of the most well-known Beatles tracks was a Stones song, but i had failed to consider that my listeners were mostly 55-70 year old dads who were irritated from a long day in the office.

And when those dads heard me, a millennial woman, get the artist of an extremely well-known beatles song WRONG???!

they HAD to call in to correct my ignorance. never in a polite way either, it was condescending and annoyed or nothing. and like, they were just SO personally insulted by my inaccurate reporting that it took a massive amount of effort for me to avoid cracking up during the call. I had never understood why some people would enjoy trolling random strangers on the internet before, but in that moment, I understood the appeal entirely.

obviously i did it again right before the next commercial break, immediately after playing Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen David Bowie.

the phone immediately began to ring.

“ARE YOU AN IDIOT?” one of the callers began, “DAVID BOWIE???? THAT WAS QUEEN!”

“I thought David Bowie was the lead singer of Queen though?” I replied with as much innocent earnestness as i could conjure.

I could hear an intake of breath as the infuriated boomer on the other end of the line struggled to figure out where to even start.

And thus, the Mad Dad Hour was born.

[tricktster]

@eduards-stuff I kept doing the same joke for an hour a week for an entire year, and the dads NEVER caught on. After episode 1 of the new format I started taking the angry dad calls on air, which added another layer of hilarity to the whole concept.

My friends on campus knew that hay I was doing and enjoyed tuning in, but only one actual listener ever figured out what I was doing, and he was literally a random 30 year old guy from the netherlands with access to an early internet connection radio service. He was possibly my only actual fan. I only know about him because he went to the effort of making a skype and paying for international service so he could call in, and while I got a few calls from him, the first remains my favorite:

me: hi there, you’ve got TST-

him: *strained, wheezing dutch laughter*

me: hey, is everything o-

him: pfffHAHAHAAH YOU MAKE THEM SO MAD. THEY THINK SO LITTLE OF YOUUUUUUUU BUT THE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE FOOLISH! HA! HA! HA! YOU HAVE DUPED THEM!

me: sir i do not know you and i have never even seen you but i am in romantic love with you.

[agentjazzy]

reposting this from twitter bc it's making me lose my mind

[matarsack]

i think the world doesn’t know what it really means to live in a theocratic dictatorship. Let me tell you about our experiences living in the islamic regime of iran.

1. Your parents were born to muslim parents so they’re automatically muslim. You’re automatically a muslim too. You didn’t choose your religion and you can’t opt out of it or you will be executed.

2. The compulsory hijab law makes you a criminal if you choose not to wear hijab even tho you didn’t choose to be a muslim and you don’t consider yourself a muslim but the regime has forced you into that role whether you like it or not. And when you ‘break that law’, they can do with you as they please.

3. little girls as young as 7 yrs old are forced to wear hijab at school even tho the islam itself says the age is 9. and all the schools are gender segregated so imagine how they force you to get used to hijab even when you’re just surrounded by other girls. And all day long at school they tell you horrible stories about what will happen to you in hell if someone sees even a strand of your hair.

4. the regime modifies all the textbooks, story books, cartoons and movies to represent the ideal woman with full on hijab. The iranian media is ordered to photoshop every photo of a woman that may be showing a little skin. And if they’re iranian, no hair is supposed to be seen or that will be photoshopped away. Women are mostly excluded from billboards and tv commercials.

5. imagine going to work or meeting up with a friend when suddenly the morality police kidnap you in broad daylight and force you into a van to take you to a station where they will treat you like a criminal and if you don’t agree to get humiliated and do as they say, they will put you in prison. And in case of Mahsa Amini and so many more before her, they will beat you to death. My sister was barely 18 when she got kidnapped and they didn’t let her call home and she’d been so fucking scared and we had no idea where she was. Imagine all the psychological trauma.

6. If you’re in a car and not wearing hijab they will fine you and seize your car. So when u get into a taxi the driver will ask you to keep your hijab on otherwise they’ll get fined. And if you refuse they’ll ask you to get off the car.

7. And its not just about hijab. In Ramadan, they get even more vicious. If they catch you eating or even drinking water on the street they will give you lashes as punishment and even imprison you for breaking the law. If you work in a state-owned company it’s even worse. They will close the cafeteria and take away the water dispensers. All restaurants are banned from delivering food before iftar. It’s a fucking mess. Everyone has to pretend they’re fasting or they’ll be severely punished.

8. And how could I forget about this! iranian women are banned from singing! the islamic regime prohibits women’s singing voices to be heard by men so imagine the horror of having 50% of the population banned from ever becoming a singer. If they identify a female singer in iran, they will take her to jail and force her to repent her sins in the most humiliating way so that she will never dare sing again.

9. And every time the regime gets wind of a private gathering of men and women trying to have fun and live their fucking private lives, the police crash the party and take everyone to jail bc the Islamic regime bans iranian men and women from having fun.

So if you see Islam has become for many iranians a symbol of oppression and torture and discrimination, that’s why. The regime uses islam as a weapon to silence and punish anyone who opposes them. You can love islam all you want from the safety of your home in a free country and talk about how kind and benevolent the religion is, but in iran, it’s a whole different story.

Our economy is fucked. All govt officials are corrupt as fuck. Most websites are banned in iran. Even tumblr is banned. The world has cut the iranian ppl from many services. We don’t have intl credit cards like visa card. Amazon doesn’t do delivery to iran. We cant get netflix, spotify or even a gamepass subscription. we don’t get any Apple services here. iran isn’t listed as a country you could choose when signing up for a lot of services. and when we decide to leave iran and escape this hellhole, every country out there will make it sooo much harder for us to get a visa just bc we had the misfortune to be born in iran at the wrong time.

This is the story of iran for the past 44 years. Held hostage by a corrupt regime that uses religion to suppress and torture the people and being abandoned by the rest of the world bc our lives don’t matter.

Please be our voice. Once they shut down the internet completely and silence our voice, they will start slaughtering us to stifle the protests just like they did in 2019. Please help us. We want this fucking regime gone.

[dduane]

And their internet is in the process of being shut down right now.

(https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/sep/22/iran-blocks-capitals-internet-access-as-amini-protests-grow)

Reblog this and other voices from Iran. Help be their voices. They need us now.

[rylandsgrace]

#amazing

[stardustschild]

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

[tbbackus]

There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.

[crutchie-morris]

or the one where the bridge never came out for Javert’s suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out

[musicofthestage]

best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere

[agatharights]

During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well

Jesus screamed “JESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED ME”.

Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadn’t been adjusted.

So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).

[soulpunchftw]

This is wild from start to finish

[totalspiffage]

I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hook’s mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went “YOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!” in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)

[punkbatsarchive]

In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer night’s dream, Thisbe didn’t have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger

[redheadeddisneyfreak]

My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and she’d get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com “zombie Juliet” and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.

[sammywhatammy]

i attended my county’s performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so it’s not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actor’s workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show. 

my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadway’s The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.

in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one night’s performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.

so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-

PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.

the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just can’t recover from.

[cinder-ember]

During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gaston’s introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?

Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.

The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.

Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store ™, I’d finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.

Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didn’t drop the it. Lefou’s actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gaston’s head. Cue laughter.

Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.

Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from it’s place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefou’s conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stage…from the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gaston’s gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.

Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. He’s so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.

Sunday Night:  Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.

Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesn’t notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.

[fat-hippie]

I was in Twelfth Night during high school and we were lucky enough to have identical twin girls playing Viola and Sebastian. Due to the blocking in the first half of the play, their characters didn’t appear on stage together but rather almost consecutively one after the other for a majority of the first act.

It was awesome because when people saw the play and didn’t know the girls were identical twins, it literally looked like it was one actor doing multiple, uber fast costume changes.

One of our first performances was for our peers and it was a big school so lots of people didn’t know the twins. This - for some reason - was also the performance they chose to record.

Listening to the confusion of the audience during the playback was fantastic and completely topped by the moment Viola walked off stage left just as Sebastian walked on stage right and someone right beside the camera goes “OH WHAT THE FUCK” so loudly it drowned out everything else.

The best thing? That was the copy of the play that was made available for purchase by family and parents. Haha.

[whereismyvillage]

Oh my god. I went to one of the Spiderman shows where he flew out above the audience and then got stuck and had to awkwardly hang there for about 10 minutes, but these stories are brilliant.

[andthereisnotragedyinthat]

okay so, my senior year of high school and I’m part of the stage crew for Peter Pan. There’s a scene where Hook and Smee are searching for Peter and the Lost Boys. Now the theater department at my high school isn’t very well funded (in the southern USA, football is king), so the sets we managed to make were pretty kickass for the money we had. We had a structure painted like a big tree stump for the entrance to the Lost Boys’ hideout. You could climb to the top of it, but also go inside it through a trap door that we kept locked up during most of the play.

It’s like our third show and everything has been going surprisingly well. Hook and Smee climb to the top of the “tree trunk”, supposedly looking for Peter and not knowing they’re standing above his hiding spot the whole time.

Turns out someone didn’t close the trapdoor properly, because the second Hook steps on it, he plunges through the thing. He’s able to catch himself, but he’s got his ass and one leg dangling through this hole where it’s like a ten foot drop to the ground. All of us stage crew are literally two feet away from him offstage, just gaping at him because???? Y'all this fall looked BAD. Looked like my dude did the splits in mid air. The whiplash caused his fucking wig to come off. The audience is dead silent, all of us backstage are dead silent, the director is like already looking up how to treat a broken groin.

The kid who was playing Hook was like a fuckin sophomore and he KILLED it. He gave himself a second to catch his breath, never broke character, just looked up at his castmate and growled “Smee, you fool, help me up!”. He ended up playing off the wig thing as an embarrassing comedic bit for Hook, and the play went on. He was completely fine. It was the best thing I’d ever seen.

[squidspawn]

There was an infamous performance of the opera Don Giovanni where in the last act Giovanni was suppose to be dragged into hell via trapdoor but the overweight actor got stuck, leading someone from the audience to shout: “Hey everyone, Hell’s full!!” 

[sarahviehmann]

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before but the Lefou story has me in tears every time.

[dwlostcompanion]

As someone who did Tech stuff in High school for 4 years, Lefou!

[five-very-happy-years]

I was a costumer on a stage version of Titanic, and in the scene where the women and children are getting in the lifeboats, one of the men (who was supposed to be saying goodbye to his wife he knows he will never see again because his is about to die), realized his fake mustache was falling off and instead of playing it cool… he rips it off his face, and hands it to his wife with the line “Something to remember me by”…it was the funniest thing that I have ever seen in my 8 years in theatre, the entire cast lost their shit laughing at the most dramatic moment possible

[edensgardener]

I am laughing so hard I’ve been crying for ten minutes. Thank you

[commander-vas-normandy]

My high school did Dirty Rotten Scoundrels one year and still one of the best bits, especially on opening night, was some museum bit.

Lights come up on the stage and there’s a statue dead center of the stage that two characters are circling around while flirting. The whole scene goes down without a hitch.

Well, because we couldn’t get a statue prop, the staue was actually one of my friends in just some really good makeup, a perfectly still pose, and plaster in her hair that really sold it.

So then the characters walk off stage and the lights don’t go down. So she waits. She waits. Then she just shrugs with a big, dramatic sigh and storms off stage in a comedic fashion and everyone died laughing in the audience so we rolled with it every night after that.

[cheese24k]

[ceramicpuppyclown]

reblog for easter

[winemom-culture]

forget april fools day its almost time for the best video on this entire fuckin planet

[scabrrielle]

sunglasses. no sun. it’s cloudy: overcast. 

[sic-sempervirens]

Holiday tradition

[fantasticfables]

Move your writing from Wattpad to Ao3 NOW

I don’t know if this will reach anyone who writes on wattpad but if it does: wattpad legally owns everything you’ve put on their site. This “partnership” with paramount means that they could take the plot off your original story, make a movie out of it, and take all the profit themselves because you are not legally entitled to a share, as per the terms of service.

But, navigating a new website can be scary or unpleasant. So I figured - as someone who migrated from wattpad to ao3 myself a couple years ago - here are a few tips:

When you sign up, you need to have an ‘invite’, this will be sent to you by the site in three days max.

Unlike Wattpad that I remember had limited tags - both in number and in scope - ao3 tags are numerous and cover a lot of ground. You can tag for everything that is present in the fic or only for things you consider important. This is entirely up to you.

Tags are three categories, usually: archive warnings, relationship tags, additional tags. Additional tags is where you would put specifics of the work.

Fandom tags, also. Though they’re not really called tags, just the fandom of the work. Original Work is a category, and you can freely use it.

Sometimes readers might ask you to tag with something specific - a potential trigger that you may have missed. You are not required to comply - you are mostly left to your own devices on ao3 - but most people do. It makes everything better for everyone involved.

Ao3 works don’t really have ‘covers’ as Wattpad works do - the medium is completely text based. people find your works based on pairing and additional tags, and judge it based on title and summary. You can still make covers for your work, but you will have to put it inside the work and people will only see it if they’ve already clicked on it.

Relationship tags fall into two categories: Character/Character for a romantic relationship and Character & Character for a platonic relationship.

There are six archive warning categories; 1- No archive warnings apply 2- rape/non-consensual 3- major character death 4- underage 5-graphic depictions of violence 5- creator chose not to apply any archive warnings.

A little bit of an afterthought;

- major character death is mostly considered anyone from the main pairing(s), but if a side character makes enough appearances to be loved by the audience, you might want to choose this anyway.

- choosing not to apply archive warnings is an ambiguous situation. you might do this to not spoil anything in the work - not advised, that’s not how people choose to read things on ao3. your readers will feel betrayed - or if you feel an archive warning is Too Much but whatever happens is a little too close to home with one of them - in this case, you’re advised to explain further in additional tags.

The posting page is fairly simple, similar to wattpad in a lot of aspects. No ‘header’, though. Fully text-based in posting. But you can have pictures in the body of the work itself which is how meme fics came to be - fics entirely told through meme pictures.

oh, ao3 has two interesting functions that wattpad doesn’t have at all:

First; you can post anonymously. you do this by making a “Collection”, setting it to anonymous, and putting your published work in that collection. This is how Anonymus and gift fests are usually kept secret! Be mindful that the Anonymus state can be applied to any collection by the owner at any time, so don’t let your work be added to random collections by people you do not trust.

Second; orphaning a work. If you thought a story that you wrote was fun and cool but childish, so you still want people to read it but without it being attributed to you - orphaning the work will put it in the archive’s servers as ‘writer-less’. Once you orphan a work you have no more control over it - you can’t delete or edit it.

Per Line Commenting was one of the fun features of wattpad; ao3 does not have that. People who really like your stuff will write lengthy comments, put paragraphs at a time in quotation marks, and then tell you how they felt about it. This is neither better or worse, just different. speaking from experience, it’s less funny, but more genuine and heartfelt.

NO ALGORITHM. you will discover so, so many hidden gems and your story will be found by so, so many people. No more of popular works getting all of the spotlight.

oh and no “Awards” either but from what I remember those always sucked so this isn’t important. You get found by the tags or by word of mouth and other people’s bookmarks and tags.

Oh, and you don’t just ‘favorite’ fics, you can ‘bookmark’ them which means “I liked this!” And you can 'rec’ them which means “I think you should read this!”. Bookmarks and recs can be public or private.

How could I forget! NO ADS. ao3 is a non-profit, so nobody who works on it makes a single cent off the incredible amount of traffic the site gets. You will not see any ads in the interface of the site or in any of your stories.

And finally, the ao3’s most important feature: the site isn’t going to fucking steal your story!!! You completely and legally own the work you put on ao3, and if it does get stolen they would actually help you get it back.

It’s 2 a.m and this is all I can think of. Don’t let paramount steal your hard work on your writing, they’re assholes who do not deserve more money than they have.

If you are reading this and have a question about any part of it, do feel free to ask me or anyone else who has their ao3 link in their bio, they’d know the ropes. You can also read the full archive faq for more in-depth explanations of everything here.

Take your work off wattpad before it’s too late, y'all.

[tiktoksgay]

[trans-seraphim]

@normal-horoscopes this seems to be in your wheelhouse

[normal-horoscopes]

This is so fun I love this

[abz-j-harding]

Stephen Strange : DORMAMMU! I HAVE CO-

Dormammu : 

[ursminor]

i made bruno elmo memes

[frontier001]

They're Together Again...

[kyleehenke]

these are basically turning into my video diaries

[artdusktea]

this video made me laugh so hard I threw up. I woke up my 63 year old mother downstairs, she rushed up to make sure I was okay. it’s gone midnight. i want to watch it again but I’m scared I’ll shit myself next

[kiwi-lasagna-deactivated2022041]

What art block does to a mf

[stark-strange-love2]

SKDJSJSJSJSJAJDJSJSA

[messenthral-deactivated20240517]

I know the answer, but why are Hallmark holiday movies…like that?

The plot is always meant to be escapism, but the female protags never *want* to escape- they’re Type A ladies who worked hard to get where they are and have had the dream of success in business since the beginning. You sort of get the sense that they’re extroverted and like urban living. They have friend groups, apartments, and all that. Yes, the movie does tell you that they’re stressed, but they really seem to like their lives outside of that.

When they do inevitably get sent to Xmas-ville for their assignment, the guy they meet is almost never nice at first. He makes fun of her for not knowing how farm equipment works. He calls her ‘city girl’ and implies her journalism degree is stupid. He takes joy in making her do unpleasant tasks to ‘humble’ her.

Even when they warm up to each other, he still doesn’t like her very much- the worst example I’ve seen was the lady being an artist, *finally* getting her first gallery showing, and wanting to catch a flight to go see it…and the guy didn’t want her to go, because who’d look after his toddler who loved her so much? She wasn’t even *moving*, just taking a short trip to Seattle or wherever.

I know people say these films are Chick Flicks, but they really don’t seem to cater to a female perspective at all. Most of us don’t work High Profile jobs, and we certainly wouldn’t want a guy who made fun of us for it if we did.

All I’m saying is- Cinderella wouldn’t be Cinderella if she enjoyed working from home, and Prince Charming made it a point to jokingly call her an Old Maid.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

[stage whisper] it’s conservative Christian wish-fulfillment

[pretentioussongtitle]

[pterodactyl scream] it’s conservative Christian wish-fulfillment!

[ockhamasylum]

It’s not meant as wish-fulfillment, it’s reassuring you about choices already made.

Your audience for this kind of movie isn’t the city-dweller, but the stay-at-home mom who doesn’t have a career or outlet. The movies point out how the city doesn’t make our protagonist better, at least not in the ways that count for small town life. You’re meant to see how unprepared she is for situations that are routine you. All the city has done is make her out-of-touch and caught up in a grind that isn’t making her happy (apparently). What she needs is the family connection of [Relevant Holiday Here] as represented by [Decorative Activity Here].

The target audience can’t leave town; they already have a family and a life too rooted to leave. Halmark films are a steady and simple message: “You’re not missing out. Everyone else wants what you already have here. Look how this outsider needs what you have, how she only came to her senses when she saw your lifestyle.”

In the end, it’s escapism by pretending that the cell bars keep the world out, not you in.

[powerfulwizard]

I like astrology until I meet people who actually genuinely 100% believe in it and aren’t just having fun

[powerfulwizard]

Exchanging birth charts and reading horoscopes is one thing but the shit I see people do and justify with astrology bs is insane

[powerfulwizard]

[powerfulwizard]

[senriii]