Kilodactyl's Killer Apps

[abjectadmiration]

If I were a super, I’d probably be the kind that goes nutso and hurts a bunch of people. Un/fortunately, no Cold Light has wanted me so far ;~;

[ee76q]

I’ve heard of Cold Light chasers.

They try to hunt down Cold Lights based on statistical models and things.

Given how randomly they fall, I suspect they have significantly more money than sense.

[kilodactyl]

And then there's the people who chase Cold Lights "for science." I think they probably have more dollars than sense too, but they at least have a slightly more sensible reason.

[irradiantmadness]

I really should post on the Chiasm Forums more. If only they weren’t moderated by actual and literal fascists.

[kilodactyl]

Hey I only work for fascist governments some of the time.

[abjectadmiration]

I wonder if there’s any correlation between Cold Light showers and 564 events. Location or time-wise.

[kilodactyl]

I believe there have already been independent studies on this, I thought most of the information became readily available online after it was declassified. I haven't seen a correlation from what data I've seen. I'm sure you could find some tinfoil hats to disagree with me though.

[abjectadmiration]

Man no way am I doing all those comment chains. They’re gonna get stupid amounts of lengthy yeeeesh

I’ll get back to everyone asap but FIRST let me establish that my bans have been lifted and I have super learned my lesson this time!!!

I mean it was a pretty unfair ban anyway let’s be honest

I only posted like half the junk I had to ask :\

[kilodactyl]

Come on you know you want to do comment chains. All the cool kids are doing it.

ONE OF US.

ONE OF US.

[abjectadmiration]

kilodactyl It’s going about as well as it could be I guess???? Been really throwing myself into the docs lately since I’m taking a sabbatical from school. I have all this totally useless information I’m sitting on! Exciting!

How’s being a genius or whatever working out for you, have you built a weather machine yet

[kilodactyl]

Totally useless information!? No information is TOTALLY useless, is it? (Okay I've been known to collect totally useless information myself so...)

Haha, genius... right. That's what some people tell me but I don't really believe it. Well yeah work has been super busy, we've just finished a large order of [REDACTED] to go along with the [UNDISCLOSED] order of other widgets for [CLIENT NAME CLASSIFIED]. You know, the usual. I would tell you but then I'd have to come to your house and steal all the blueprints for your reverse-engineered versions to make ours better. And frankly that's just too much work for me to even think about.

A weather machine... now there's an idea. We might actually have snow on Christmas for once. (Wait except Christmas is over now, d'oh!) I guess I'll have to think about that one.

[abjectadmiration]

So am I late to the Topplr party or WHAT

Please guide me, friends.

[ee76q]

I’m pretty sure some of the buttons do things.

And hey, another forumgoer on Topplr!

[abjectadmiration]

Aha! I was pretty sure you had one. I yoinked your art for my icon thingy, by the way. Think of it as free advertisement! For exposure, etc.

Now direct me to the supers, please. I have all these intrusive questions burning a hole in my pocket.

[ee76q]

Wait are you the person who keeps getting tempbanned from the Q&A threads?

And I’m not sure if there are any superblogs around here.

[abjectadmiration]

I was exonerated of most of my crimes!

[kilodactyl]

Oh hey it's Neverday! How's it going?

[kilodactyl]

Well…. uh… what can I say… this is interesting. Apparently I’m a superhuman relative and I didn’t even know it until now. Wonder if I should change my forum status.

[viridianshade]

Ummm, what did, I mean, how did the superhuman’s family react to finding out? You don’t have to tell me who is, though.

[kilodactyl]

I really have no idea. I haven't seen them in a pretty long time. The superhuman in question is just a cousin of mine. We used to visit each other a lot as kids, but it's been a while.

[kilodactyl]

Well.... uh... what can I say... this is interesting. Apparently I'm a superhuman relative and I didn't even know it until now. Wonder if I should change my forum status.

[kilodactyl]

A jetpack? Awesome! How much?

Well you’ll have to talk to my employer but somewhere in the range of $300k. And they’re still just out of beta prototype level so we may require you to do some testing. And have proper clearances for stuff. But if you help with development, we may give you a special deal.

I am not sure I should really be posting this here but I don’t think my boss really cares. We talked about developing them last year but then other contracts got in the way. But it turns out there WAS a client who wanted some jetpacks, so that was cool! And based on our contract we were able to keep most of the patent rights, so we’ll hopefully be putting it on the mass market at some point soon.

[ee76q]

It’s the future now, and I want my jetpack/hoverboard.

[kilodactyl]

It's the future in A FEW MONTHS OK!?!?! GOSH.

[kilodactyl]

A jetpack? Awesome! How much?

Well you'll have to talk to my employer but somewhere in the range of $300k. And they're still just out of beta prototype level so we may require you to do some testing. And have proper clearances for stuff. But if you help with development, we may give you a special deal.

I am not sure I should really be posting this here but I don't think my boss really cares. We talked about developing them last year but then other contracts got in the way. But it turns out there WAS a client who wanted some jetpacks, so that was cool! And based on our contract we were able to keep most of the patent rights, so we'll hopefully be putting it on the mass market at some point soon.

[kilodactyl]

Wow, business is booming these days. I've been incredibly busy and it hasn't really let up until now, on top of all the other stuff going on with the forums etc. How's everyone else?

[brittlegreen]

Hi. I am back. Ugh. Computers suck. My old computer crashed, so I had to get a new one. That was kind of an embarrassing ordeal. But thankfully I have a friend who is pretty good with computers and he set me up with a new system pretty easily. It’s really annoying the precautions I have to take but I guess it’d prevent my computer crashing again.

Also, sorry I totally blew up last time. I mean like… hahah I’m not supposed to let things get to me like that. …

I see that there’s another message in my ask box, probably from Anon, but I’m not even going to look at it right now… I’m closing my ask box. If you want me to know something, you’re gonna have to tag me. Maybe I’ll open it later when I feel more up to it. 

kilodactyl can you delete that last message from me you reblogged? I realized it’s not stuff I really want online actually.

[kilodactyl]

Oh ok, sure. Glad to hear you're doing ok. 

[brittlegreen]

Also, what the heck is up with the ask box? It seems really glitchy. Why does everyone use this clearly broken technology?

kilodactyl I tried to send you a message but I don’t know if you got it.

[kilodactyl]

I didn't get anything from you, you went silent after my last message. You know you can just post stuff here, right? If you link my name, I'll see that you tagged me in a message. There are others here who can help you too, you don't have to just ask me. I don't really know that much, I'm not a Topplr mod or anything. The Topplr mod account that you can ask questions about how all this stuff works is just called admins.

And yeah Topplr has been kinda weirdly glitchy lately, there's some kind of strange virus going around? Well that's what people say anyway, I have my theories, but basically people keep getting very short asks that look like Oglaz text. If you got any of those, feel free to publish them, we're trying to come up with a theory of what is happening.

[brittlegreen]

Ok Topplr is really dumb

How do I do anything? It says I can’t send private messages to anyone yet because I haven’t been following them or something. kilodactyl help?

[kilodactyl]

Uh.... hi! Who are you? Are you from the forums? I'm not a moderator here you know.

But it seems like you don't even have your ask box open so I can't message you directly. You can turn that on in the settings at the top left corner.

[anatolian-yellow]

Sweet silence.  No glitchy asks. viridianshade, did things get resolved?  Or do you have any clue what’s going on? Though there was about a month of silence between when I got my first glitchy asks and this rash of them.  But apparently the anon was being glitchy elsewhere.

[viridianshade]

Oh… uh… Sorry. I saw this earlier but “work” stole me away for a while. 

As for the answer, I have no idea. I talked to a couple people who said they would talk to some people they knew. I really have no idea how the hierarchy works around here, or if there even is one, but I’m pretty sure I’m down low. So, yeah, talked to some people. I haven’t heard anything since.

So MAYBE it was fixed? I’m sure one of my few friends will tell me something if information gets leaked. And, well, I’ll tell you guys. If it’s not classified or something. Again, I really have no idea how things work here despite being in the League for quite a few months. Probably my fault, really.

[kilodactyl]

Rule #1 with Benefactor's League: If it's a good outcome, they'll make a big deal about it. If it's a bad outcome, they'll keep quiet about it.

Just so you know "no news is good news" doesn't really apply here. To put a positive spin on things.

[scienceisbeauty]

Pity, there is no anti-crash force fields on my area.

Via Devianart (h/t Diply.com)

[kilodactyl]

So it seems this phenomenon is more widespread than I thought. I've seen several posts on Topplr that aren't related to the forums or Chiasm in any way with these posts. If you search for the Oglaz text tags and stuff you'll see what I mean. 

I saw a few journalists I know on Flitter talking about it, so I have a feeling an article is going to appear on Plugd or Widgetude sometime within the next 24 hours. 

Doesn't seem anyone has made any headway on resolving it yet though.