Kilroy's story - TSSF

[kilroytssf]

One night, before the wedding

Kilroy lies awake, staring at the ceiling, the sound of the buildings fan the only sound over Sarissa’s soft and easy breathing as she sleeps. Across the room, in her pop up crib, Deluca starts fussing, he hears her voice and he swings his legs over the side bed, and sits up. He walks over to her crib and picks up the little toddler, holding her in his arms.

“I got you baby girl.”

He whispers as he rocks her gently in his arms. Softly he, he carries Deluca out into the living room, briefly he sits and he looks into her scrunched face as she shifts in his hold. He can’t help but smile at her. He’d lost track of the days, the weeks. No essence of time mattered, because of how many nights he’d been awake, just like this. For her, and for her mother. Deluca wasn’t his daughter, but he wasn’t going to let blood decide that. It wasn’t blood that had tied him to many of the men he’d called brother. It wasn’t blood that tied him to the women he’d called sisters. It was the same thing that tied him now to the woman he called his lover. Heart.

When the heart knows, it knows, and in his heart, this girl, this small child who could barely walk on her own, was his daughter. And he would be her dad. If she allowed him to do so.

“Sleep now baby girl, and let the world fade. Into the soft and silent night Like gentle waters in which to wade. Sleep now baby girl, and let your eyes come to rest Close them soft and let them be let the weight of the world slide from your chest. Sleep now baby girl, the world is big and vast but sleep my baby Deluca, Daddy’s home at last.” He leaves a gentle kiss on her forehead as Deluca settles back into a deeper slumber in his arms and he looks over at the calendar on the wall. And the red heart drawn around April 17. And he smiles. Over at the window looking into the living room, Sarissa smiles at her man and her baby. Ya, she chose the right one this time.

[kilroytssf]

Date night in North Yankton

[kilroytssf]

Dec 10

My girlfriend is a freak and I fucking live for it. She started our date last night with a very romantic collection of words and some music she loves and she told me she loved me. Which is truly amazing and little mind blowing… but whatever, she’s sexy and sweet and honestly? I might be falling for her after all.

But now onto the rest of last night, saw Johnny and he had a lot to say. The poor guy is at the end of his rope with what he’s dealing with and I hate that for my boy. He’s my brother always and I never wanna see my family struggle. But there’s really nothing I can do to help him right now. He knows I have his back always, but until he asks for it directly, I can’t help him.

Fucking pisses me off to see it.

Working on the new song and I’m worried I’m gonna run out of ideas… doubt it’ll happen, but it’s a concern for me all the same.

Oh, and Sarissa sank her brand new car last night… poor girl just got the car back from impound… but I helped her forget her woes there.

Until next time.

[kilroytssf]

Dec 8

So, it’s the holidays and my girl asked me to have Christmas dinner with her and her dad… why did I find that both so wholesome and attractive? Like I never do that shit. I’ll spend time with my friends and my found family, but never had a my girlfriend ask me to meet her parent…

I’m gonna make that man so mad, haha, I am the exact opposite of what her dad would want for his girl. But then, she does have the most fascinating of daddy issues there.

Rat Pack’s second track is about to drop and I’ll be back in studio this week working on the third one. The goal is to have the EP finished by the end of next week.

I’m proud of the band and its efforts. But we have to keep the push on. Brian pitched doing some guerrilla shows with the tour van, which I am extremely in favour of doing.

Especially if we get a following from it.

Until next time.

[kilroytssf]

Dec 6

What a night… what a day… what the hell…

I guess if I was being honest, I don’t think I saw myself dating again, but here we are. I guess I’m back in the dating pool and I even have a new girlfriend. Sarissa. She’s a real sweetheart, and one hell of a catch too. It wasn’t what I expected when I finished band practice though. Finding her at the Vault and watching the chaos in the street… then our little wander and finally…

Well, the story is still unfolding. I have the Rat Pack to think about first and I’m glad I took the bike for a ride. Needed to clear my head a bit so I could focus on the music. Finding my old man’s guitar was already strange but what it’s lead to? I never could’ve dreamed. This lawsuit LP has been another big score. And the band is loving the music I’m coming up with. Thank fuck I’m not on lyrics. Brian and Summer got that in spades. Can’t wait to share these with my girl.

I feel like it’s weird to talk about how much fun we had last night but suffice it to say… she and I had one hell of a time.

Noting shit down in this little journal has been a help in the past and I think it’s time I started doing this again. I’m in government housing for now, and that may be where I stay until I make some money… shitty but needed.

Until next time.

[kilroytssf]

Some things never change

[kilroytssf]

Letter to Summer

My dearest Summer,

Just landed in Vancouver and I had to write to you. It’s hard to have you at last in my life but then have to leave like this and not take you with me, but I promise to return as soon as I can.

Not much to share just yet as all I have done is fly on a fucking plane. Which, btw, is stupid how they train these fucking new pilots. WW1 they were learning essentially rocket science and those guys came back with so few issues. We almost got grounded because some pussy ass bitch pilot got a seagull or something in the intake leaving the runway. Whatever, I made it, I’m fine.

Meeting Jeep in a couple hours.

I’ll let you know how that goes.

You are in my heart always and I dream dreams of great beauty as you are in them.

I love you.

Kilroy

[kilroytssf]

New Club Photo

We’ve come a long way

[kilroytssf]

The Response

Dirt kicked up into the air as his wheels tore through the unkempt roads of Sandy Shores. He was crossing the last stretch before the dirt paths that lead to his home. The events of the last week kept him distracted but his bike was his solace in these times. He’d taken it for a ride. No real destination, just to clear his mind. The roar of his engine and the crunch of dirt under rubber always seemed to help. As he at last turned the corner and stowed his machine, he stepped into their trailer.

The carpeted steps cushioned his foot falls as he climbed them into the bedroom. Although, the whole house was in fact a bedroom with a kitchen attached, it was still his home. And the people he shared it with only made it more so.

He kicked off his boots and carefully hung his kutte, despite the lack of reaper, he still cared for it. He grumbled about the damn delivery trucks being delayed and how this fucking truckers union strike was the bane of his very existence. But he held his kutte in high regard. As did everyone so honoured to wear the Red Reaper.

He dropped onto the couch and pulled out his phone to stare, once again, at the email from Jeep. He had been mulling the name over now for the last 2 weeks. Still trying to remember, even an inkling of who the damn hell that was meant to be. He’d even started a few drafted response.

One had said “Dear Jeep, who in the actual fuck are you? How the hell did you get this email?”

and another “Jeep, I don’t think I know you, are you sure I am who you think I am?”

and even another had said “New phone, who dis?”

But he had deleted them all. None of it worked for him. He’d already narrowed this man down to being during the time Azrael had taken control completely, and even the fire burning behind the sunglasses in the photo had told him that. But the certainty of the tone of the email... He had to know and he was very much out of other ideas.

He started typing:

Jeep,

It’s been a very long time and I’m sorry to say this to a man I’d have seen as a brother, but I cannot recall our time together. I know that if we both made it home, it’s clear neither of us dies easily. And although I find myself struggling to recall your name, I know your face. It’s in a distant fog, and I may be suffering from amnesia. Could you maybe shed some more light on our story for me? Forever your long lost brother,

Kilroy

He put down the phone, thought for a moment, then just hit send. It was done. Now all he had to do was wait.

[kilroytssf]

When she is his everything, and he her world, everyday is another in paradise.

[kilroytssf]

One night…

He woke in the night. He didn’t know what time it was, but it’s not like it would change his reality. He tosses and turned for a time, but realizing he could wake Summer and Mari, he decided to get up instead. He moved mari’s arm from his chest and summer’s leg from his own as he slid out of bed and grabbed the nearby pack of smokes and his lighter. Since he was awake anyways.

He crossed the room to the sectional in the far corner, taking care to remain as silent as he could. He quickly lit up and drew a slow and deep drag of his dart and tossed the pack onto the coffee table. Letting his head fall back onto the top of the cushions he closed his eyes, letting the wave of calm that came from that first hit wash over him for a moment.

He cast his eyes around the dark basement that he and Summer had bought only a short time ago. Their new home was far from finished. So many things to unpack and place. Their whole lives in boxes strewn about. And not to mention Mari’s. She’d joined them shortly after they’d bought the place. This caused him to smirk. That’s right, they were 3 and they were living in a basement as their upper floor was in need of renovations. What a pain in the ass.

But what a life he was living. The woman he’d wanted from over a year ago had come back to him. And with her, her girl, now his as well. His club was settling into their new city. Getting acquainted with the other clubs and meeting new organizations every day. Earning enough to feed them and get them riding on their machines. And their ranks were growing. Slowly, but that was good. Too quickly, and influence could become an issue. They weren’t ready to pop yet, thank fuck for that, but he had to hope that was in no small part to the bond of true kinship his brothers and sisters shared with him and each other.

He took another drag and let the cigarette rest on his lips while he took out his phone. He began the doom scroll through birdie. Same usual things of engagements, cars, clubs and gangs, police activities, and the like. It was the same everywhere they went.

He made sure to post something about the Sons before he switched to his emails. Ads, memos, announcements from family all filled his inbox. As well a-

“What the?” He found himself muttering out loud. What was this one?

It was the strangest thing he’d ever seen. Because in this one email, was a name he’d never seen before and picture that wasn’t possible. It wasn’t… was it?

The picture depicted two men, dressed in combat fatigues. From the military action in Korea. But those photographs existed a plenty. But not like this, the photo had 2 names. Sgt Kilroy Warhier and specialist Eugene “jeep” Overby.

The body of the email read: You aren’t easy to find because you never stay still, but if you’re ready to talk about what happened, I’m ready too brother.

Signed, Jeep

Kilroy let the last of the ash fall from his smoke as he crushed it in the ashtray. He stared at the photo of the two men. Himself and his best friend. And as he stared… he still had no idea who “Jeep” was. This man… was from Azrael’s first time in full control.

[kilroytssf]

He waited, and she found him. They may not be where they first met, but he will always hold her close, and she will always have his heart

[kilroytssf]

Feb 24

A couple days ago, well, I guess almost a week now, Lily hosted her first fight night event at Church of Syn. It was pretty well attended by event standards for the city, and since I had supplied the prize, naturally, I had to fight.

But what I didn’t expect, was just how good Thor was going to be at it. Like, I’ve fought Thor before. Many times in fact. I usually beat him, but they were always close fights. But the thing is, I’ve always been able to fight my best, Thor was on a new level this time, he kicked my ass. Plain and simple. I do miss fighting against my brothers from the past, but sometimes I forget just how good they all are.

On the note of people I hadn’t seen in a long time, Miguel came around that same day. Damn it was good to see him again. The guy who put me forward into the hangaround vision of the Sons was now in my city, talking to me, while I’m wearing my president’s flash… it just made things feel surreal. He sold me his old sovereign so I could have a good real bike, and here I was giving him his first in my city.

Just felt like a full circle thing to me. But then it went further. The man spoke of he and Thor’s path forward. Nomads of Condemned MC, with no clear goal or path forward. I remember that feeling.

The one that I felt when I made my choice to put a knife through my own patch and kutte on the table. The day I sent the message to Jager, and the day I didn’t know where to go next. In a way, the feeling is exciting. But on a whole other level, the feeling is scary.

I hope they find their path quick for their sakes.

[kilroytssf]

January 29,

Big day. Or, I guess, it feels like a big day. It’s strange.

When we patched in Clay, I thought I would feel… something different. It’s humbling actually. I remember the feeling of pride I had when I first got my patch. It was like my world had finally become as I’d hoped. A sense of belonging and pride… and I’ll admit, I don’t know what Clay felt.

But this isn’t my first time patching a new brother into the club. I remember that. And what saddens me, is the first prospect I ever brought in, is dead now. I patched in three ever when before I took my presidency. Two of them are dead. One of them, he still makes me proud.

Brian has done me proud many times and I knew that I saw that spark in Clay when I brought him on. I know I did the right thing by not taking him as my prospect. And I feel the same about Stone. Even now, he does well, but he had to learn humility first.

But I digress, I don’t write these entries to bitch. I think that’s the answer though. Humble. That feeling that I felt instead pride. Humility. The future of this club humbles me. The new blood humbles me. All I can ask now is that, when the time comes for me to say goodbye to this path, I leave behind a strong legacy.

[kilroytssf]

January 27,

I first wanted to address this to my son. I don’t know why, but it felt like how we used to do this. Write entries we intend for our sons to read and use that knowledge to help better themselves.

But I’m going to just going to write this out and see who decides they want to know. Still going to write it like I’m talking to him though.

My son, I don’t know when you’re reading this or where I am in relation to you reading it, but I’m going to share some of my thoughts with you. I’ll go back a few years. I’m sure I’ve told you about my time in the armed forces. Hell, probably told you all about my many decades of service.

But what I may never have said is, don’t follow that path. I never had a good relationship with my old man, and so, I went looking for a new family. I mean, that’s not what it seemed like at the time. At the time, I just wanted to fight and kill to save the free world from corruption. Ya, I see the hypocrisy in what I am now compares to my ideals, but remember, a lot changed from when I first enlisted to becoming the man who raised you.

A pattern that comes up a lot for guys like me: we find something, we fight for it, we destroy it, then we start over again.

For once in my life though, I didn’t completely destroy this one thing I fought for, and I think you can guess what it is, or at least, I hope you can.

When you were born, I said I never wanted to see you get hurt, I never wanted to see you wear the kutte. I couldn’t imagine you choosing this life. But as you grew, I realized, it wasn’t going to be up to me. And then my view changed. I know now that, I want to see you chose the right life for yourself son.

I’ve said there’s only one thing I won’t put up with and that’s you putting on the PD badge. But you can chose your own path. Our club will always watch out for you and protect you, but be smart about whatever you do, not like your old man.

I honestly don’t really know where I’m going with this entry, I think it’s because it’s the first one I’ve written for anyone to read, but I mean every word.

Closing thought:

Be smart, make me proud son.

[kilroytssf]

A nightmare?

He awoke suddenly. Desperately he sought the clock, the darkness feeling like it was suffocating him. Grabbing at air, he finally found a watch he kept in the drawer and he pulled it out, his breath rapid and his eyes still blind he forced his breath to quiet. And no sound was heard. none. Not even the ticking of the analogue watch in his hands. His heart raced and he once again looked for the clock, a lamp, something. Light. He needed to see. His hands rummaged around and at last the found the lamp on his bedside table. He clicked the switch and braced himself for the brightness... which never came.

He blinked. The room still dark. But somehow, he knew something was in the room with him.

“Are you quite done?” asked the gravelly vaguely British voice that he had come to know so well.

Kilroy finally turned his head and looked to the other side of the room. In front of the window stood a man. Of same height and build as Kilroy himself. But his face completely obscured save for the 2 points of orange fire that made the being’s eyes.

“Azrael”

“Ah, good, you remember me.” The Archangel smiled. Although the room was dark, Kilroy could hear the smile in his tone. He could feel the reckless mirth of the spirit that had controlled him for many years.

“What do you want?”

“Now now, it won’t be that simple. But please remember. I can’t die, and you... Will one day, Forever grow still.”

Kilroy shot up in bed, nearly knocking the lamp off the bedside table as he looked for the switch. He caught it and listened for a moment. He could hear Lily sleeping next to him, her breathing undisturbed.

A nightmare. Thought Kilroy. Sighing, he walked to the bathroom and splashed water in his face. He looked in the mirror at the red eyes he’d been cursed with forever, despite Azrael’s dismissal. At least they didn’t turn to fire anymore... wait...

[kilroytssf]

And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still