I’ve written many songs and blog posts about women. I’m in a unique position in my life and career to spread some positivity and empowerment to my fellow femmes! And if you were me, wouldn’t you do the same? I’d like to elaborate on our song “Dear Daughter,” which started out as more or less a jotting down of things my mother and father told me as a kid. What it became was so much more than just me quoting my parents. The song has taken on a life of its own and is such a personal reflection of what I think a young woman should hear growing up.
As girls in this world, we are taught to balance being safe, quiet, and pretty. Find a partner, settle down, don’t state too many opinions lest be viewed as having too much baggage, and whatever you do, don’t age or stop being cute! But what about being smart, loving yourself and taking a risk to follow your dream? Those were the breed of conversations I was lucky enough to have growing up. It was never about beauty or the end goal being a white picket fence and 2.3 kids. It was a question of what could I offer uniquely to the world… what was I passionate about and what would it take to be able to make my passion into something I could call my job.
My mom never worried that I was a tomboy. I’d climb trees and I even asked for a toolset for Christmas one year. As a mother she understood that as a young girl there was already enough pressure from the world, so she encouraged me to be happy and myself
I was 13 and my little brother was 10 when we started Halestorm. I had been playing piano since I was 5 and Arejay had been playing drums since utero. If any of you have ever seen my little brother play you will understand why I put in that way. We wrote a handful of songs and set out to be the rockstars that we watched on my parents’ VHS tapes and listened to on their vinyl records. Little bro and I had tunnel vision for music, the lightbulb more than switched on; it was red hot! It’s all we talked about, dreamt about and all we wanted to do after homework was done! It was so much more than a “this is what I wanna do when I grow up” passion. It was our identity. He and I even started introducing ourselves to complete strangers as “I’m Lzzy and Arejay, AND we’re in a band called Halestorm.”Ha! We just started forcing our dream upon the world!
My parents never let on that they were actually terrified for their kids to be pursuing this career. After all, this unruly, unpredictable career was the last thing anyone would want to encourage their precious daughter or darling boy to do! It didn’t guarantee security, in fact, quite the opposite–this music business exposes a lot of danger and heartache into your bubble.
But my parents knew we were going to do it anyway; they saw the fire in our eyes. They witnessed the passion and the near obsession that possessed us when we picked up our instruments. My mom always wanted to play guitar, but her stepfather told her no, so when I told her at 16 that I wanted to step off the piano and sling a six string, she and my dad bought me my first axe.
It wasn’t easy for them, My parents were not rich and gave up a lot of comfort for us to pursue this. They also caught a lot of sh*t for encouraging us to go for it. They got nasty letters from my teachers who thought I was going to end up worshipping the devil. I heard them on the phone trying to reason with my friends’parents who would never encourage their own kids to book gigs in the corner of bars, malls, coffee houses, a funeral (yes, that happened once).
I was never a bad kid, in fact the only time I was ever called into the principal’s office was because I was giving away our first Halestorm cassette tape "Forecast for The Future” in the halls of my middle school. I truly believe it was because my parents had my back that I remained a good kid. If they hated or discouraged my passion, maybe I would’ve acted out or started hanging with the wrong crowd, doing drugs, etc. But my parents were brave enough to say yes to my journey.
Over the course of many years, both of my parents worked for us, helped us get shows, and cheered us on as we raised this monster we called Halestorm. When things got tough, instead of turning to us and saying, “Well, that was fun, now it’s time to get a real job”. They’d pose questions, like, “What are your end goals, and how can this hurdle help you grow?” These are questions I still ask myself when I come to a crossroads in my life. My personal goal in my music career wasn’t money or to be famous, nothing frivolous like that. My goal was simply to continue to do what I loved everyday–which was being a part of this band. My parents knew this. We’d have many conversations about how that nine to five “real job” everyone said I should have will always be there waiting for me. But the opportunity to follow my dreams and be able to call my passion a career? That I would have to fight for.
And we did, and now I’m proud to say that I’ve kept this dream alive and growing for almost 20 years. I’ve toured the world, performed with my idols, bought my first house, and even won a Grammy! Ha! I remember calling my mom when we were nominated for a Grammy. I reminded her of an on going joke we had when I was a kid just starting out. We’d always joke about how if I ever got nominated for a Grammy, my mom was going to be my date to go. She had forgotten about this, so when I told her that I was going to keep this promise, she burst into tears over the phone. I know I’ll never understand until I have my own daughter just how much love and pride she felt when we were recognized by the Recording Academy and won that Grammy–a feat I might have never achieved without her support and encouragement.
So this song, “Dear Daughter,” is my own way of passing the torch. Because I think that the words I grew up hearing are something every young girl deserves to hear. They were always simple, yet profound. Hold your head up high, and be you. Always remember that you are like no other. This world is indeed full of pain and fear but there’s also hope and love; it’s how you choose to tip the scale that matters. And no matter what happens, I will be there, and I will always support you.
I’m hoping that through this song, I can spread the inspiration and empowerment that has been instilled in me. Carve your own path, ladies (and little gents too), I’m living proof that nothing in life is impossible.
Love,
Lzzy Hale
P.S. You can see the brand new music video for “Dear Daughter” at www.halestormrocks.com
