Kim Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

CORGIS AND THE DOCTOR AND JEREMY RENNER AND TAYLOR SWIFT AND POLYMER CLAY AND PUPPIES AND KITTIES AND THINGS THAT I LOVE.

[arrghigiveup]

OH NO MY HEART :’)

[link to post]

[oumiyuki]

❤❤❤

[wolfmons]

[jonswno]

a hard pill to swallow: if an audience can pick up on where the story is going, it’s a good story.

[bumblebeebats]

A kinda related note i hope you don’t mind me adding on: one of the most life-changing bits of story advice i ever received was actually in a class on “Revenge and Vengeance in the Ancient World,” if you can believe it. The professor was talking about how everyone in ancient Greece knew all the Greek myths back to front and told them over and over again - and someone asked why they would keep retelling the same stories if they already knew they ended.

She explained that basically it wasn’t the ending that was the most suspenseful or exciting part, but how you got there. This is why The Iliad spoils its own ending in the opening lines. This is why we have so many different retellings of Shakespeare, of Arthurian legends, of fairy tales. 

There are no truly original stories or truly unpredictable endings. So, IMO, it’s better to focus on how you as a writer/filmmaker/artist/whatever can bring something new to the body of the story rather than trying to shock and mislead your audience. 

[kimflewoverthecuckoosnest]

I've been saying this for years. This is why I give no fucks about spoilers - it's about the whole journey, not just the single spoilable moment.

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[miaislying]

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

decay exists as an extant form of life

[miaislying]

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

[notunlikepride]

@shitpostsampler this feels up your alley

[aaronexplainsitall]

You seem like the right person to ask but what the fuck is going on in the Taylor Swift fandom? Are they OK?

Okay friend, I’m going to give you the run down. Are you sitting comfortably? 

2PM GMT - SOME TAYLOR SWIFT FANS DECIDE - FOR SEEMING ABSOLUTELY NO INTELLIGIBLE REASON - THAT THERE IS A MURAL IN NASHVILLE THAT RELATES TO TAYLOR’S NEW ALBUM

THERE ARE NO FACTS TO BACK THIS UP

TAYLOR HAS NOT SPOKEN OF THIS MURAL

HER TEAM HAVE NOT SPOKEN OF THIS MURAL

THE ONLY VAGUE LINK IS THAT IT RELATES TO HER INSTAGRAM AESTHETIC

THEY’RE GATHERING IN THEIR HUNDREDS BY THIS MURAL CONVINCED THAT SHE’S GOING TO SHOW UP

WHY?

ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING REASON

FLASH FORWARD (and we’re taking on the world together, and there’s a drawer of my things at your place) TO 5PM GMT 

AND THE ENTIRE TAYLOR SWIFT FANDOM ON TUMBLR IS BRACING FOR THEIR MOM TO CALL THEM BOO BOO THE FOOL LIKE SHE DID WHEN THEY ASSERTED CONFIDENTLY THAT BECAUSE THERE WERE FIVE HOLES IN A FENCE ON ONE OF HER INSTAGRAM PICTURES THAT A COUNTDOWN WAS HAPPENING

THEY’RE ASSUMING CRASH POSITIONS

THIS IS GOING TO BE AN OUTING OF STUPIDITY TO THE ENTIRE WORLD

NEWS CREWS ARE GATHERING —- AGAIN FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN THE FANS THINK SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THIS THESIS

EVERYONE ON TUMBLR IS DISTRESSED

DISMAYED

“THE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT WE’RE INSANE!!” THEY CRY, THEIR SELF-AWARENESS THEIR LAST REDEEMING FEATURE

AND THEN

WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST

TAYLOR ‘I’M POTENTIALLY THE ONLY PERSON MORE BATSHIT CRAZY THAN MY FANS’ SWIFT GETS HER CLOWN ASS ON INSTAGRAM

AND CONFIRMS THAT IT IS HER FUCKING MURAL AND THAT SHE IS ON THE WAY THERE

“YOU FIGURED OUT (my secrets and I figure out why you’re guarded, you say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes) THE CLUE!” SHE SHRIEKS

THERE WERE NO CLUES

NOT ONE

THEY TURNED UP IN DROVES BECAUSE THEY ALL DESPERATELY NEED TO GET A JOB

AND THEN - 6PM GMT - THIS ANGEL/DEVIL WOMAN TURNS UP AT THE MURAL AND TAKES WHAT SEEMS LIKE A SELFIE WITH LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE WHO’S THERE - WHICH BY THE WAY, IS ABOUT 500 PEOPLE AT THIS POINT

AND SAYS! NOTHING ABOUT THE ALBUM! NOTHING ABOUT THE SINGLE! NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING!

SHE JUST SHOWS UP AND SAYS HEY (it was enchanting to meet you) 

OUTSTANDING

LITERALLY OUTSTANDING 

WHO KNEW SUCH CLOWNERY AND TOMFOOLERY WAS POSSIBLE?

NOT I, GENTLE READER! NOT THE FUCK I!

I’m literally in love with Taylor Swift, I have never wanted to be a celebrity’s friend more than in this moment. She’s so messy and I live for literally every second of it, we are SOUL MATES. 

[wildwestiewrites-deactivated202]

everyone on tumblr: this Hellsite could not get worse

@staff:

[breadwinnnerz]

[blvck-mermaid]

Maybe if I reblog it it will become the truth 

[thesavingera]

i reblog this everytime

[note-a-bear]

This is the magic a$ap, if you don’t reblog it this will be the first year you’re broke

[mernymphs]

[only-cats-photos]

[princesstigerbelle]

This rotisserie chicken looks comfortable

[showerthoughtsofficial]

It would be cool if after you died you could see the top 5 times you almost died

[atlastheninth]

5 times you didn’t die and one time you did

[kimflewoverthecuckoosnest]

Can it be 1000 Ways to Die style?

[01101010-01100100]

if i feel an emotion one more time im gonna snap

[savaagecaabaage-deactivated2021]

I wonder what Hermione did the whole train ride to Hogwarts while Harry and Ron had the flying car

[bexhibitionist]

Probably had the only peace and quiet she’ll ever have for the rest of her life.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[maxknightley]

I’m ending the debate once and for all

Fahrenheit is better than Celsius because you can truthfully see that it’s 69° outside and go “nice” rather than immediately collapsing from heat exhaustion

[fenderjess]

also you can cook and reasonably often set your oven to 420°

[sqbr]

I’m still team Celcius but this is a compelling argument.

[harlquin-tiki]

Fahrenheit is people based, Celsius is water based, and Kelvin is for science

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[theholleywoodsigns]

Explains why I’m so fucking stupid

[wolfwars]

no, not like ‘stupid’ brain damage. your emotions become so stressful your brain starts getting a little numb to them. you start experiencing higher rates of apathy. you can also have further trouble with memory and problem-solving.

[muffintop-malachite-deactivated]

That Explains Why I’m So Fucking Stupid

[lame-and-corny-blog]

[kimflewoverthecuckoosnest]

Incoming: more depressing posts about bi erasure

One of my best friends, who is gay, is constantly ignoring my sexuality. I am a bisexual woman who is married to a man. He met me after I got married, and I don't generally talk about girls because am just way too shy around them and OMG are girls pretty and I am still relatively closeted because I don't think it's the business of anyone who I'm attracted to and in what capacity. I don't need girls not wanting to be my friend because they think I'm going to try to hook up with them.

Anyway.

I was on the phone with my friend today, and he is on a bowling league, and he was asking me to come to one of his games (matches? What is a bowling event called?) And said "there's even a straight person, so you'll have someone to talk to".

This catches me off guard every time he does it, because I'm not expecting one of my LGBT+ friends to just pretend my sexuality doesn't exist. So I asked what I would have in common with a straight person, which he fumbled for a bit before remembering.

I'm pretty hurt about it, but I don't know how to approach the subject. I've told him in the moment twice now that just because I'm married to a man doesn't make me straight, but I'm beginning to think he is just problematic about this subject, and I don't know how to approach the subject buuuuut it sucks.