Skyrim: Vanilla Nordic Saddle
I finally went and disabled all my mods and booted up the game to get screenshots so now I can pass judgement on the vanilla saddles. hooray.
Aesthetics: it's kinda giving roadkill. I cannot fathom the mind of whoever designed this. I guess it kind of evokes the fantasy ice age element of the game's visual design, if you squint, but I'm not sure why they went with that over just. anything else. I'm the dragonborn of legend and my horse deserves better than this. 3/10
Practicality: it's probably fine to sit on, if whatever animal it's made of had thick enough fur to counteract the baffling mess that is the saddle tree. despite the total lack of any logic behind the overall design, it looks like someone did think about how the girth is attached and I think those two awkward leather bits are actually meant to be poking through the hide to connect with it. there's enough padding that it would probably be reasonably comfortable for the horse as long as the saddle tree isn't actually made of animal spines. I'm not happy about it, but I could probably ride in it fine if it's got more structural integrity than it looks like. 7/10
Realism: for some reason, despite the massive wealth of historical examples to choose from, the skyrim dev team decided to completely re-invent the concept of a saddle. nobody's ever made one like that. especially not the vikings. why does it have handlebars. like I know the archeological evidence of viking saddles is really sparse but there's enough of it to know they didn't look like that. I can't figure out what the saddle tree is made of but it's not metal or wood which, if I couldn't see what looks like unidentifiable bits of something's skeleton sticking out, would have been my only two guesses. the lack of stirrups also isn't period accurate for the regions/cultures skyrim is based on but again, that gets a pass due to presumed game engine limitations. sadly, that sliver of grace can't save it. 1/10
Psychological Damage: why is saddle tree bones. 7/10
Aesthetics: no getting around it, that thing is ugly as hell. the design is clunky. the texture is bad (the fact that the bridle is clearly leather but it's color-matched to the fur saddle instead of any of the other leather in the game annoys me so much). the weight painting and rigging choices for the horse make the mesh look worse than it is but it didn't look great in the first place (the weight painting is also the reason the bit pokes through the face instead of sitting in the mouth, but as I covered in the elven armor set, I had no issue avoiding that problem when making my own bridle so they get no grace for it). the reins look even worse in motion because there are no actual bones for them, they're weighted to the head/neck/shoulder bones and it shows. I just know this bridle was made on a friday afternoon. it's recognizably a bridle though. 2/10
Practicality: aside from the bit poking through the face, it's not the worst bridle I've ever seen but it's not a very good one either. there's no throatlatch, which means there's a risk that that thing's just gonna slip right off over the ears if you pull back hard on the reins, which is likely because you're riding this horse into battle and shit happens. the risk is somewhat mitigated by the noseband but that presents its own problems, because it's directly attached to the cheek strap and could interfere with the bit. weight painting issues aside though, I know from messing around in blender that the bit is actually placed correctly in the mouth and it's a perfectly functional snaffle. we love a snaffle that's attached to the right things. 4/10
Realism: there have been all kinds of bridle configurations throughout history. but for all the reasons mentioned above, "noseband directly attached to cheek strap with no throatlatch and a snaffle bit" was not a popular one. I'm not sure I've ever actually seen it in the course of my research. I'm also, much like with the saddle, very unsure what aesthetic the decorative elements are even trying to evoke. but it is at least a recognizable attempt at a sensible bridle which is more than I can say for certain previously-covered glorified mods. 3/10
Psychological Damage: it's ugly and impractical, but it's also exactly the bridle you'd expect to see with that weird monstrosity of a saddle. 3/10
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