*screams Into The Void*

Any pronouns. Post here once in a blue moon. I’m an adult, I’m also autistic and a lesbian :3

[kingcons]

When I was a kid I was genuinely convinced my parents were aliens that were gonna sacrifice me when I turned 13. My parents have always treated me with love, so I have no idea where this came from. Part of me deep down has never been able to shake the feeling that something in the world is wrong and I’m not supposed to be here. It’s a belief that’s almost too ingrained to change. It makes the world kinda terrifying. Did anyone else have this experience or similar?

[kingcons]

ITS REAL! I feel choked up, I’m not crazy! There’s a name for it!

[kingcons]

When I was a kid I was genuinely convinced my parents were aliens that were gonna sacrifice me when I turned 13. My parents have always treated me with love, so I have no idea where this came from. Part of me deep down has never been able to shake the feeling that something in the world is wrong and I’m not supposed to be here. It’s a belief that’s almost too ingrained to change. It makes the world kinda terrifying. Did anyone else have this experience or similar?

[kingcons]

THC should be legal and available to adults everywhere, it’s a wonder for my chronic pain

[dranktwocoffees]

screenshot doodle ueueueuueue

[kingcons]

I love you other autistic bitches like me cuz I know you’ll get me here

I hate not being independent I hate how much I have to rely on others to do basic tasks each day sometimes I just hate it all ugh

I just feel so stupid and useless all the time. The worst part of it is being self aware. I’m so hyper aware I act more like a sixteen year old than an almost 23 yo and I’m horrifically embarrassed by that. And then I start bullying myself for that train of thought because how pathetic am I to wallow in that kind of self pity?

I feel even worse because compared to some I am so so lucky to have as much independence as I do. I feel guilt for complaining.

It doesn’t help that some people I rely on inadvertently and often unintentionally make me feel like a failure or an idiot for needing so much support. It’s not like they’re trying to hurt me. They just get frustrated with me and that’s fair. I’m just exhausted. I wish I was still a child. Growing up is so unfair when mentally it feels like you’re still growing. And I’m so confused as to why I’m still stuck here at age sixteen. What’s wrong with my fucking brain? Why can’t I just understand and be fucking normal?

Autism isn’t a superpower, it’s a disability. I wish people would acknowledge that, because maybe then I wouldn’t feel so bad about myself. There’s nothing wrong with being disabled, but people seem to think there is for some reason. I don’t want to be fixed, I just want to feel less awful.

Anyway, ranpo Edogawa and Dazai Osamu are both very autistic and have support needs with different things. Did you ever consider Dazai frequently can’t take care of himself or find a reason to live because he needs partial emotional dependent care? No, you didn’t. I’m so smart

[kingcons]

Tw for nightmares

I had this dream where I was watching this rly disturbing film. It was about this guy kidnapping and brutalizing and eating people because his dad died and he thought death was the worst thing anyone could experience. He said something like “torture? Meh. My mum dying? Eh. But my dad’s funeral? I’m like “no”!”

He was like 16 with long ish black hair, slightly chubby and had a black hoodie and jeans. he was kidnapping and torturing the parents of other highschool kids. I think he was trying to push people to the brink to see how far life would go but it’s dream logic so take that as you will. Lowkey he was eating people before his dad died tho.

All the while a small group knew about him and was trying to connect the kidnappings with him. One of them was this blonde ponytail girl who’d been horrifically bullied by this other girl (I *THINK* the ex bully was in on the kidnappings but idfk) and so she beat her up and tortured her for information and revenge. Sort of a “this is how it feels” type thing. I think she lobotomised her. I was watching this movie on a cruise ship while we went into Antarctica I think. In the end the guy was caught and killed I think by the group and the police ruled it self defense.

…what does this mean y’all.

[kingcons]

Oda in the middle connects the three, with him removed the connection falls apart.

Psyculturists on YouTube pointed out Dazai’s eyes are closed. The only one not seeing the full picture.

I also noticed Dazai is the only one smiling in this. And the only person who’s not staring straight on.

[kingcons]

[kingcons]

There are few things that anger me as much as multi fandom oneshot collections do. CEASE CLOGGING UP MY CROSSOVER TAGS 👹/lh

[kingcons]

Not enough of you bitches know about Tokyo ghoul and how badly Kaneki needs a hug and that needs to change

[kingcons]

Rose quartz and Dazai Osamu have the same character arc just for different reasons. I think they could be friends. Fanfic authors this is free angst crossover potential for you

[kingcons]

I think people who say doctor who is for kids don’t know enough about the cybermen

[kingcons]

Tomodachi island life is the game of the year, here are some interactions I’ve had on traumatized fave island

[kingcons]

This happened five minutes after by the way

[kingcons]

Tomodachi island life is the game of the year, here are some interactions I’ve had on traumatized fave island

[kingcons]

@dranktwocoffees ? Two of them? Someone isn’t going to heaven, you little addict! Everyone cancel them NOW

[dranktwocoffees]

youre so mean to me youre so mean to me youre terribly mwan to me youre the meanest to me ever i cry

[raccoonico]

eve saying people are being the meanest to them is funny cause she's the ectual mean one

[kingcons]

Thank you we need to put her in jail

[raccoonico]

yes lets call the cops

@itsis0k @nicothespy, can you guys give us your testimony?

[nicothespy]

she hits us at home

[kingcons]

I’ve known her for years and not a week goes by without her calling me a dyke she’s fucking evil

[kingcons]

@dranktwocoffees care to explain, whore?

[dranktwocoffees]

and ill say it AGAIN!

[raccoonico]

your not a fan of yourself?? of your community??

[kingcons]

HELP I THOUGHT YOU WERE TALKING TO ME AND I HAD A MINI HEART ATTACK CUZ I THOUGHT I WAS BEING CANCLED FR LMAO

[kingcons]

@dranktwocoffees ? Two of them? Someone isn’t going to heaven, you little addict! Everyone cancel them NOW

[dranktwocoffees]

youre so mean to me youre so mean to me youre terribly mwan to me youre the meanest to me ever i cry

[raccoonico]

eve saying people are being the meanest to them is funny cause she's the ectual mean one

[kingcons]

Thank you we need to put her in jail