Come along. You can count on me.

Independent RP blog for Agent Bishop from TMNT (2003) - follows back from theotherrookie

[kingedbishop]

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[rp-meme-glaceon]

Send a symbol, and I'll pick what I think fits my muse best

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[doctor-digibirb]

Mermay post byeeee

Loooong boi

[doctor-badadvice]

The trials and tribulations of John Bishop are hilarious on their own but it gets even better when you factor Stargate SG-1 into it.

[doctor-badadvice]

I might as well elaborate on this for the bit.

Stargate SG-1 is a show that comes from a movie. The gist of it is that a giant stone ring was found in Egypt once and the US military got its hands on it on the off chance it could be used to kill more efficiently. Except it goes wrong as it turns out it's a way to travel to other planets and they immediately piss off an alien.

Stargate isn't a movie that would be made today. It's about the military immediately going to war with said alien, who used his technology to be adored as a god by his human slaves. The god in question? Well, it was Ra, obviously.

The ancient Egypt aesthetic still goes strong in the galaxy. The gods are aliens. The pyramids? They're on many planets as they're in fact landing pads for alien spaceships. The spaceships have golden walls and drapes because an evil overlord needs all the comforts.

SG-1 essentially picks up from that with a few changes like MacGyver taking on the role of the coolest soldier of the bunch and the lore expanded to allow for a monster of the week narration. After killing Ra (it's a movie from 1997, the bad guy died and a fork has been found in the kitchen, it hardly a spoiler), a new alien comes to Earth using the Stargate, kills some red shirts, refuses to elaborate and leaves.

A new team is formed to go fuck him up, the SG-1, which indeed entails the presence of other teams that will be sent to other planets off screen. But it turns out Apophis, the new bad alien guy, is Ra's brother and also has just a few thousand more soldiers at his disposal than his brother did in the movie. So the SG-1 does the only reasonable thing: grabs Kratos (yes, it's that guy!) and leaves.

They report back to the base that the ancient Egypt aesthetic still goes strong in space and that the guy they killed indeed has a family. The Goa'uld are, surprisingly, a whole race of parasites that thrive by possessing human bodies and enslaving entire planets and indeed, they're all named after Egyptian gods (plus the occasional exception in later seasons).

They're all evil, therefore they must be fought before they invade Earth again.

Now, since the military is involved, various bases and whatnot will be mentioned and visited of course. Fort Baker appears in one episode, thus bringing another set of space explorers to Starfleet Command. The SG-1's primary mission is to retrieve alien technology that can be used in the battle against the Goa'uld. So more than anything, they talk about the place where this stuff is stored, Area 51.

Imagine the face of everybody's favorite basement dweller John Bishop when some nerds from the air force start sending tons of working alien tech every week, including a spare Stargate. He'd be livid and then he'd be furious when he isn't allowed to get involved with the research because the EPF is mainly researching genetics. Why would he be interested in those awesome alien guns everyone at Stargate Command is now using?

Still, all of that pales in comparison to when Bishop finds out about their new allies.

As it turns out, the Goa'uld weren't the only ones hijacking divine pantheons to establish their domains. Strong of their even more advanced technology, the Asgard have claimed a few planets under their protection, including Earth.

Introducing Thor and his brother Loki.

I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.

Bishop is categorically not allowed to be within 50 kilometers from Thor whenever he visits Earth. With how infamous he probably is and the detailed accounts of what certain grey aliens did to him, some think that is still a generous restriction. Bishop is vocally against being with the Asgard and likely calls their bluff regarding their ability to actually fight the Goa'uld early on. He's right about it, the planet is often left to fend for itself. But the SGC is actually delivering results while the EPF is draining the budget with little to show off, so he's gladly dismissed.

Then one day a de-aged Colonel O'Neill of the SG-1 shows up at the base.

You see, the Asgard are clones. At some point they allegedly stopped reproducing and began transferring their consciences to new cloned bodies. This worked for a few centuries, but then the DNA deteriorated so much they're essentially on the brink of mass extinction. All the scientists they can spare are working on a solution but so far, to no avail.

As the remaining SG-1 tries to figure out how O'Neill shrunk overnight, they investigate similar cases and it turns out many more have been abducted by a little grey man. Panic ensues as their best allies ever might be problematic and they call Thor to figure this mess out.

As they learn, Thor, the supreme commander of the Asgard fleet, has a brother named Loki, a much sneakier scientist who has been secretly experimenting on humans to find compatible DNA to refresh the gene pool. He doesn't know why the clone only grew up to be a kid but at that point he didn't care to find out. Thor takes Loki back home, the clone is sent off to be a normal kid and they live happily ever after until next week, including Bishop who will now bring up this accident at every meeting.

In his words,

[kingedbishop]

👫

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship

Bishop has had to explain to the President on several occasions that yes, there is at least one giant on the loose and that no, he can't just make himself useful and shoot him down (even though he'd really love to). He has proof Shade isn't an alien, so that particular headache isn't his concern.

Bishop definitely has a better opinion of their relationship as it currently stands, mainly because he hasn't had a proper friendship in a few decades at least and doesn't know better. Shade finding out what he has been doing to Rook is indeed just a minor setback. The banter is still good enough and he did ensure at least one of Shade's friends will be around for a good while. Shade is very welcome for that, by the way.

Protection of the planet is a respectable goal regardless of methods. Shade has the chance to grab downed UFOs and deliver them directly. While it would likely kill him to say thank you, Bishop would in return endure the chitchat while he’s diving into a new pile of scrap.

They end up discussing sweets more often than they ever realize.

[balancingpcint-archive]

hate it when you try to kill someone and they dont die like how rude do you have to be

[rpmemequeen]

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship

[in-character-memes]

Send 🧠 and a headcanon you have about my muse

no matter how big or small, anon or not, send it and see if it gets stamped with the 'approved' stamp

[kingedbishop]

It really wasn’t the brightest moment for Bishop. But even with the memories of his darkest time threatening to drag him in the abyss again, the agent still wanted to leave with some dignity. The tie would be left alone for now. Getting out of mind reading range was a more pressing matter to him. Evienne was looking way too sympathetic for his very strict view of reality.

"Don't be fooled. I'm quite resilient." His body would start healing soon enough. "Yes, you may assist with that."

He was petty, but not to the point of jumping off the table on his own. Bishop shoved his hand in his pocket and dug out a candy bar. It was a bit crushed and belonged to one of the dreadful rations he insisted on consuming, but he still tossed it at Nihil. Apparently, not being from space warranted it that gift.

No further explanation was offered as he made his way over to Evienne's hand.

[anomalousbiology]

"I'll take your word for it then," she said with a smile.

Nihil reflexively threw up its hands to catch the item that was thrown at it, needless to say caught off guard by the sudden gift of candy especially from Bishop of all people. It stared at it for a moment as it processed what it was before looking back up.

"Uh, thankss?"

That was a positive gesture from Bishop though which was notable. Maybe he was capable of appreciation after all.

Once she had him in hand, Evienne pivoted in her seat and reached down to the floor to let him off.

"Alright, get home safe then." She felt awkward saying that but wasn't sure what else to say in this scenario.

[kingedbishop]

This had been a disaster, yet Bishop had pulled one last inexplicable maneuver. The term was most appropriate, as there was no real trace of it in the agent's mind whenever a shred of humanity managed to poke its head in. This whole encounter had deeply shocked him indeed.

He therefore looked like he had no clue when he glanced back at Nihil and only made a vague noise of acknowledgement. The objective was to leave, he had no time for pleasantries.

Especially since he was going to walk all the way back. A lift would have been nice, but he couldn't compromise the base. He was looking a bit more steady on his feet now that he wasn't bleeding out at least.

"I will." He had the decency not to think about all the horrible things he could have done to whoever stood in his way. "And I may return if you were willing to share some of your technology."

He was asking first. That was a major improvement.

[kingedbishop]

"It matters to me."

There was a strain in Bishop's voice that wasn't due to his wounds. Not the physical ones at least, but he was fighting to keep those hidden behind all the violent thoughts.

It was still quite difficult. While Evienne's ship was quite homely, he still expected to look up and find himself in another laboratory, one with far less friendly alien scientists willing to cut him all up.

All that nonsense his mind was subjecting him into made it very hard to tie his tie properly. He would have found it disgraceful had he not been so focused in getting out of there.

"I'm glad we have come to an understanding. I will be able to walk the way back now that the shrapnel has been removed. You don't need to trouble yourself any longer."

He still wasn't going to show any appreciation, but at least he wasn't planning to rob them blind anymore.

[anomalousbiology]

That seemed serious. And considering that despite his best efforts, Bishop was still thinking about the deep-rooted memories that this whole situation was dredging up from his mind, it was hard not to pick some things up.

Evienne couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy. She wouldn't say a word about it—it was clear that Bishop wouldn't have wanted that—but it was visible on her face.

"Alright, if you're sure. You did lose a lot of blood though." Though he clearly wanted to leave and she wasn't particularly keen on stopping him at this point.

"At least let me help you down," she said, offering him her hand. She assumed he'd at least see the practicality in that offer over him trying to rappel his way off of her work desk.

[kingedbishop]

It really wasn’t the brightest moment for Bishop. But even with the memories of his darkest time threatening to drag him in the abyss again, the agent still wanted to leave with some dignity. The tie would be left alone for now. Getting out of mind reading range was a more pressing matter to him. Evienne was looking way too sympathetic for his very strict view of reality.

"Don't be fooled. I'm quite resilient." His body would start healing soon enough. "Yes, you may assist with that."

He was petty, but not to the point of jumping off the table on his own. Bishop shoved his hand in his pocket and dug out a candy bar. It was a bit crushed and belonged to one of the dreadful rations he insisted on consuming, but he still tossed it at Nihil. Apparently, not being from space warranted it that gift.

No further explanation was offered as he made his way over to Evienne's hand.

[kingedbishop]

It might have been too blunt, but it worked. Bishop relaxed visibly when he was allowed to sit on his own. He really didn't enjoy being touched and the reason for that was aggressively pushed to the back of his mind. It was bad enough all information about his operation was potentially compromised without having to discuss his tragic backstory.

Bishop almost chuckled at the way Nihil was holding onto the gauze. It was a better lab assistant than Stockman, if anything.

"Surely, you weren't expecting me to be part of your research, right? Not all of us are so desperate for attention."

And he might have had very little saying on the matter regardless, but it didn't stop him from thinking of ways he could persuade his unfortunate saviors. Bishop definitely didn't lack imagination and was very proud of all the cutting edge tech the EPF had at its disposal, his valiant soldiers, the armored vehicles….

Still, he was also weakened by his wounds and staying angry was awfully draining. Bishop exhaled in frustration. His body was still far from perfect.

"Don't make me come back for this."

[anomalousbiology]

"It's not a big deal. Evienne checks everyone out," Nihil argued, seeing as Bishop didn't seem to be buying that clean-up was all that would be happening.

Evienne got a more… comprehensive picture of just what all Bishop was thinking about this than Nihil did, the onery agent's thoughts about weapons and retaliation reaching her. The level of violence was not something she was used to. It was enough to give her a chill. Would he really go that far over some blood?

"That… won't be necessary, Agent Bishop. We don't need to get into conflict over this." Though once again, it did make her even more curious. Just why did Bishop consider the contents of his blood to be such a serious matter? Was he just that kind of person or was there something truly special about it?

"If you're feeling strong enough to walk, we can see you out. …Or escort you back if you're not."

Interacting with Bishop was so tense and awkward, Evienne found she suddenly didn't have much of a desire to keep him around any longer than he wanted to stay.

[kingedbishop]

"It matters to me."

There was a strain in Bishop's voice that wasn't due to his wounds. Not the physical ones at least, but he was fighting to keep those hidden behind all the violent thoughts.

It was still quite difficult. While Evienne's ship was quite homely, he still expected to look up and find himself in another laboratory, one with far less friendly alien scientists willing to cut him all up.

All that nonsense his mind was subjecting him into made it very hard to tie his tie properly. He would have found it disgraceful had he not been so focused in getting out of there.

"I'm glad we have come to an understanding. I will be able to walk the way back now that the shrapnel has been removed. You don't need to trouble yourself any longer."

He still wasn't going to show any appreciation, but at least he wasn't planning to rob them blind anymore.

[kingedbishop]

Making Bishop aware that his thoughts weren't for him alone had been a mistake. Now he had even less of a reason to have anything remotely resembling nice thoughts.

He would be testing how far Evienne's telepathy went soon enough. He first had to make sure the bandages were going to hold so he could finally try to stand on his own.

"Yes, I will seek medical attention as soon as possible. Now get off me."

Bishop ​made a shooing motion with his hands. While he recognized the importance of the aid he had received, he wasn't feeling like showing off much at this particular moment. He'd rather put his shirt back on and at least conceal the rest of the implants running along his spine.

"Now then, why don't you destroy all these samples you've gathered?"

A good dose of paranoia was almost as good as having telepathic powers.

[anomalousbiology]

Nihil scooted backwards and Evienne pulled her hands back at Bishop's blunt request. Neither of them were going to say anything about his apparent inability to seem at all grateful for the help.

Nihil pulled the piece of stained gauze closer to itself when Bishop suggested destroying it all, knowing Evienne well enough to know she was interested in looking at it. And really, the fact that he'd gone out of the way to ask for that only made her more curious because it implied there really was something interesting about Bishop's blood beyond just its odd color.

But she was just going try and play it off, even though realistically, what was Bishop really going to do about it? Bleach the place himself?

"Don't worry, we'll get everything cleaned up. Right, Nihil?"

"Right! We keep everything in sship-top ssshape around here." That was not how that saying went, but nevertheless.

[kingedbishop]

It might have been too blunt, but it worked. Bishop relaxed visibly when he was allowed to sit on his own. He really didn't enjoy being touched and the reason for that was aggressively pushed to the back of his mind. It was bad enough all information about his operation was potentially compromised without having to discuss his tragic backstory.

Bishop almost chuckled at the way Nihil was holding onto the gauze. It was a better lab assistant than Stockman, if anything.

"Surely, you weren't expecting me to be part of your research, right? Not all of us are so desperate for attention."

And he might have had very little saying on the matter regardless, but it didn't stop him from thinking of ways he could persuade his unfortunate saviors. Bishop definitely didn't lack imagination and was very proud of all the cutting edge tech the EPF had at its disposal, his valiant soldiers, the armored vehicles….

Still, he was also weakened by his wounds and staying angry was awfully draining. Bishop exhaled in frustration. His body was still far from perfect.

"Don't make me come back for this."

[kingedbishop]

The special circumstances of his immortality made Bishop show genuine concern over the conditions of his own body. It was actually a fair question whether Evienne's assistant was up to the task. It had to be precise or he might as well have done it himself.

He definitely had the experience for it. But as Nihil approached with more confidence, Bishop let it at it, only frowning a little harder at the pressure. He could at least be thankful the shrapnel had missed his implants, though he still didn't like having attention drawn to them.

"Why don't you ask your friend? I'm willing to bet she already has a theory."

Or read his damn mind to find out.

[anomalousbiology]

Nihil looked up at Evienne and she grimaced. For her, Bishop's comment had also included the added bit in his mind as well to add to the bite. But she knew better than to accept that invitation.

"Let's um... talk about that later. We need to wrap these wounds up."

Better to just focus on the task at hand. She started to wrap bandages around Bishop's torso in a way that was fairly well coordinated with Nihil keeping the bleeding staunched but moving its hands as needed to allow the bandages to take over its job.

"You may still want to have a medical doctor take a look at this. ...If that's something you do." From what she did learn about him with her previous poking around, he may have had less traditional sources of medical care.

[kingedbishop]

Making Bishop aware that his thoughts weren't for him alone had been a mistake. Now he had even less of a reason to have anything remotely resembling nice thoughts.

He would be testing how far Evienne's telepathy went soon enough. He first had to make sure the bandages were going to hold so he could finally try to stand on his own.

"Yes, I will seek medical attention as soon as possible. Now get off me."

Bishop ​made a shooing motion with his hands. While he recognized the importance of the aid he had received, he wasn't feeling like showing off much at this particular moment. He'd rather put his shirt back on and at least conceal the rest of the implants running along his spine.

"Now then, why don't you destroy all these samples you've gathered?"

A good dose of paranoia was almost as good as having telepathic powers.

[kingedbishop]

"Just get on with it."

The procedure was going to keep Bishop busy for a while. It was painful, more than most people could handle in those circumstances, but he took it like a real champ with only some growling and quiet cursing. His body could recover quickly, in any case. He would be back to monologuing about how devious and untrustworthy all extraterrestrials were in no time.

But at least he wasn't making as much of a fuss anymore and didn't get in the way as Evienne worked. The last thing he needed was to get impaled again. Then Nihil approached and Bishop looked just as thrilled as it did.

"I will do it, if you won't." he stated simply as he shifted to shield the implants sticking out of his chest with his arm.

[anomalousbiology]

"I can do it," it said with a bit of a defensive edge, as if Bishop was insinuating it couldn't and that it would in turn be failing at this task if he took the job.

Evienne worked diligently to remove all the shrapnel pieces and when she did, Nihil moved in as requested and pressed gauze to the wounds, only this time with less hesitance after being question by Bishop. While it was doing so though, it couldn't help but notice Bishop shielding those implants.

"What's that?" it asked, unable to help its curiosity even though it had already observed that Bishop didn't seem to be a very forthcoming person.

[kingedbishop]

The special circumstances of his immortality made Bishop show genuine concern over the conditions of his own body. It was actually a fair question whether Evienne's assistant was up to the task. It had to be precise or he might as well have done it himself.

He definitely had the experience for it. But as Nihil approached with more confidence, Bishop let it at it, only frowning a little harder at the pressure. He could at least be thankful the shrapnel had missed his implants, though he still didn't like having attention drawn to them.

"Why don't you ask your friend? I'm willing to bet she already has a theory."

Or read his damn mind to find out.

[kingedbishop]

Perhaps Bishop was going to be satisfied now. All the tossing, grumbling and sidetracking his wounds had finally brought him down. Of course, he wasn't going to admit to it even now that he was resting on his face again. Holding out long enough to discover the location of Evienne's ship had been absolutely worth it.

Now he just had to figure out which side was up again and deal with the fact he would need Evienne's help for that. Truly, that was the worst part.

"Yes, I am." Bishop failed to convey a scoff as he carefully moved to undress. He shrugged off his coat, loosened the tie, then unbuttoned his now mostly grey shirt.

Two facts then became evident. Bishop was surprisingly ripped for someone who dressed that way and he had somehow been walking around with three pieces of shrapnel stuck in his side.

"Whatever it is you intend to do, you better do it now."

He was also overly dramatic.

[anomalousbiology]

Evienne would keep her comments about the unusual nature of Bishop's blood to herself. She could look into it on her own time when she inevitably ended up with some of his blood staining something in her ship that she could take a look at, whether it be the gauze used to clean his wound or drips on the table.

"Right. This is… probably going to hurt a bit." Though she got the impression Bishop wasn't concerned about that.

She started by pouring some hydrogen peroxide over his wound to make sure things were clean and then reached for a pair of tweezers.

"Nihil, if you could be ready to apply pressure as soon as I take these out."

And then came the fun part as she began pulling the pieces out of him. Nihil scooted forward with some gauze though it was having some mixed feelings about overlapping personal space bubbles with this guy. But it wasn't so heartless as to not help him though. It just wished he would chill out a little.

[kingedbishop]

"Just get on with it."

The procedure was going to keep Bishop busy for a while. It was painful, more than most people could handle in those circumstances, but he took it like a real champ with only some growling and quiet cursing. His body could recover quickly, in any case. He would be back to monologuing about how devious and untrustworthy all extraterrestrials were in no time.

But at least he wasn't making as much of a fuss anymore and didn't get in the way as Evienne worked. The last thing he needed was to get impaled again. Then Nihil approached and Bishop looked just as thrilled as it did.

"I will do it, if you won't." he stated simply as he shifted to shield the implants sticking out of his chest with his arm.

[kingedbishop]

Well, there was no way to win that. Bishop wasn't going to appreciate knowing there were aliens who could quietly snoop around his mind and lying about it was only going to confirm his beliefs.

Perhaps someday he would appreciate Evienne's honesty. For now, though, he was going to make a scene.

"Stop that at once! How dare you–"

There was very little he could do about that, both due to the sheer size difference and the undeniable fact that even the toughest agents only came with a limited amount of blood. Bishop's outburst was cut short as his vision got blurry and his knees decided to take a break. He faceplanted faster than he could utter another word.

One arm shot out to push himself up, but he only let out a disappointed groan as he let his head rest on it instead.

"Stay out of my head."

[anomalousbiology]

Evienne gasped and Nihil's ears stuck up in alarm when Bishop faceplanted for the second time that day. Priorities quickly rearranged. The risk of him bleeding out outweighed whatever terse conversation they were about to have about her abilities.

And Nihil was concluding it was not about to have to fight Bishop.

"I'm sorry, but we need to take care of that wound before anything else and make sure you're not losing any more blood."

She reached forward and rolled him over before gently supporting him into a sitting position, holding there so he wouldn't actually have to stay sitting on his own.

"Are you able to remove your shirt?"

[kingedbishop]

Perhaps Bishop was going to be satisfied now. All the tossing, grumbling and sidetracking his wounds had finally brought him down. Of course, he wasn't going to admit to it even now that he was resting on his face again. Holding out long enough to discover the location of Evienne's ship had been absolutely worth it.

Now he just had to figure out which side was up again and deal with the fact he would need Evienne's help for that. Truly, that was the worst part.

"Yes, I am." Bishop failed to convey a scoff as he carefully moved to undress. He shrugged off his coat, loosened the tie, then unbuttoned his now mostly grey shirt.

Two facts then became evident. Bishop was surprisingly ripped for someone who dressed that way and he had somehow been walking around with three pieces of shrapnel stuck in his side.

"Whatever it is you intend to do, you better do it now."

He was also overly dramatic.

[crownmemes]

Angry & Irritated Sentences, Vol. 39

(Angry and irritated sentences from various sources. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Are you saying that I bore you?"

"You've got a real big mouth on you, you know that?"

"I don't usually advocate for violence, but in this case..."

"I do have a life outside the office, you know."

"If you've got something to tell me, be a man and spit it out."

"When exactly were you planning on mentioning this, or do you suffer from selective memory loss?"

"You're treading a very fine line here!"

"What are you doing in there? Stop spending time in front of the mirror!"

"I'm certainly not a snob, but I really must protest!"

"That's a thoroughly immoral suggestion!"

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this!"

"This is exactly the sort of thing that got you into trouble in the first place!"

"I've got an idea. Why don't we stop worrying about things that may never happen and just get on with our jobs?"

"Didn't anyone ever teach you any manners?"

"Can't you answer your own phone?"

"I don't think you should lecture me on what's right or wrong."

"Don't get so querulous! It's bad for you!"

"I've gone out of my way to help you, and this is the way you repay me?"

"Congratulations on your unprecedented cock-up!"

"Do I need to know what that is?"

"Well done! You bored him into submission!"

"I don't want to talk to you again until you've got something worth talking about."

"If you're going to show me spurious nonsense like this, at least make it new."

"If you're trying to scare me off, it's not working."

"I've tolerated your intrusions, but now you must leave me alone."

"I know your intentions are good, and I know you love me and sympathise with me, but don't patronise me!"

"I'd thank you if I wasn't so mad at you."

"You can't just leave me here!"

"You're never happy unless you're moaning, and even then you're not best pleased!"

"You know your problem? You're no fun!"

"Only one person has a need to know what's the things inside my head, and that person is me."

"You're an idiot. An energetic idiot, but an idiot nonetheless."

"How about we don't get shot today?"

"You left me. I needed you, and you left me."

"There is nothing - absolutely nothing - I like about today!"

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Stop talking about me like I'm not in the room!"

"You never did learn how to share, did you?"

"Watch your tone! My leniency only extends so far!"