.

My name is James.

[kingjamesofny]

When my woman tries to get me to clean the room

But then I realize that I’ve been cleaning it for 4 straight months

The sex still worth it doe

[queenaishling]

So this is either:

A) A sweet new apartment in Tribeca for only $2,500 a month.

B) My fiance’s new dog house aka his new bedroom

[kingjamesofny]

That crawl space has better ventilation than my first studio apartment.

[nevver]

Down / Up

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[gaiomon]

CHIRST ON A CROSS

[baby-dragon-maybe]

BOY HE BOUTTA DO IT 

[naturalpalettes]

Mountain waves

[fedswatching]

[kingjamesofny]

rapunzel

[kingjamesofny]

black hole in the corner ceiling

[queenaishling]

My fiance is literally a stinky asshole. He gets tired of using the crowded subway sometimes so he decides to punish New Yorkers by jogging before heading to his station, his clothes drenched with sweat and body order. He makes sure to eat some yogurt and/or eggs in the morning, so he can release his sulfur farts in the train. Nobody within a 10 feet radius wants to go near the stinky, sweaty, hairy man with explosive farts. Thankfully he showers immediately at both his workplace and home, otherwise all my friends will start thinking I’m engaged to a homeless dude. 

[kingjamesofny]

But I make sure I smell good when I’m with you. Isn’t that what matters?

[queenaishling]

My friend’s plastic surgeon brother said he noticed my boobs bounced while I walked, hence he could tell they’re real.

Da fuck you creepo.

[kingjamesofny]

Hey, can Chris check if my boobs are real too.

[kingjamesofny]

My computer is on child lock again. WTF IS THE PASSWORD.

[queenaishling]

Kitty sweater. 

[kingjamesofny]

Meow

[queenaishling]

Hello

[kingjamesofny]

Why do you look like you're turning 12 while I look 40.

[autonomous-geordie-deactivated2]

Capitalism 

[penis-hilton]

i want to be ‘actually buy this overpriced rag’ rich

[rhsin]

?

[thetattedstoner]

Dear god

[tayloracleswift-deactivated2015]

here you go Pizza Hut you earned this

[queenaishling]

@kingjamesofny your name is not listed on the Ashley Madison email leaks.

But I’m still spying on you!!!!!!

[kingjamesofny]

You know I'm too lazy to have affairs with other women online. That's what pornhub is for.

[queenaishling]

One of the building tenants made a complaint because my fiance @kingjamesofny brought our newly purchased bed mattress into the elevator.  The bed covered the entire elevator floor so he was laying on it during the entire time until he reached our floor… the top floor.  Sigh. 

[kingjamesofny]

buttttttttt the kimchi and green tea made my stomach ache. I had to lie down. :(