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incorrect kingkaard quotes, runs on queue of 2-4 posts per day

[kingkaardquotes]

Rouxls: So, Sire, thou knoweth how you love me because thou haven’st had a single Meeting with Anybody since I became your Assistante?

Rouxls: That art because every time someone calleths and requests a Meeting with thou, I always schedule it for March 31st.

King: Why?

Rouxls: Because I didn’st thinketh March 31st existed...

King: So, then, how many meetings do I have today?

Rouxls: 93.

[kingkaardquotes]

King: Know why I called you in here?

Rouxls: *Gulps*

Rouxls: Because I accidentally senteth thou a pictograph of my Dick.

King: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

[kingkaardquotes]

King: Do you want to know your gay name?

Rouxls: My... gay name?

King: Yeah. It’s your first name—

Rouxls: Ha, ha. Very funny.

King, getting down on one knee: — and my last name.

Rouxls:

Rouxls: Oh my god!

[kingkaardquotes]

Rouxls: If thy Father and I were both drowninge, who would thou save?

Lancer: I don’t know, both of you.

Rouxls: No, if thou could only save One of us.

Lancer: Well, I would probably save dad, because he can’t swim. And I happen to know you’re an excellent swimmer.

Rouxls: What if I waseth holding an Anchor? Who would thou saveth then?

Lancer: Why don’t you just let go of the anchor?

Rouxls: It’s a Family Heirloom.

Lancer: I’m leaving.

[kingkaardquotes]

King: I hope you have a good explanation for this.

Rouxls: I actually havest three. Picketh thy favorite.

[kingkaardquotes]

King: Let’s see how popular you really are, "Rouxls".

Rouxls: Thou sayeth that like it’s an Insulte but really that art just... how you saye my Name.

[kingkaardquotes]

King: Ha, you farted.

Rouxls: That wasn'st a Fart. I amst never farting. It wast merely air leavinge trough my lower Body Hole.

King: That’s the definition of a fart.

[kingkaardquotes]

Rouxls: *nudges the king awake*

King: ....What’s wrong?

Rouxls: Hey, do thou liketh me?

King: Rouxls.

King: I married you.

Rouxks: Yes, but did thou marry me as a friend or, like, a partner? Uncleare.

[kingkaardquotes]

Ok I queued a halloween related quote wrong and that's why it was just posted even tho we pretty much have new year's day but there is no going back, I'll keep the quote up like a real man.

[kingkaardquotes]

Rouxls: I amst giving out Rotisserie Chickens to trick or treaters tonighte.

[later that night]

King: Who the fuck gave Lancer a rotisserie chicken when he went trick or treating?!

[kingkaardquotes]

[The King finds a bag with “DEAD WORM, don'tst eateth” written on it in the fridge]

King: *opens it*

King:

King: I don’t know what I expected.

[kingkaardquotes]

Rouxls: I amst not jealous.

Rouxls: I just get this Weird Burning Feeling when I thinketh about your Father being with Somebody else.

Lancer: That’s jealousy.

[kingkaardquotes]

King: Everytime I close my eyes-

Rouxls: It’s liketh a Dark Paradise!

King: ...I wake feeling so horny.

Rouxls: Th-thou... what?!

[kingkaardquotes]

King: The life of the king of spade is a strained and tense one. I envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach... warmed by the sun... unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life.

Rouxls: Sire... Do thou needeth to talk?

King: I wish i was a croissant.

[kingkaardquotes]

Lancer, to his dad and lesser dad: I don’t get it. How do you two work together as a couple?

King: Because he and I have the exact same life philosophy. The only people you can really trust are the ones you know will stab you in the back at the first given opportunity.

Rouxls: So, naturally, we trusteth each other completely.

[kingkaardquotes]

King: Please, Duke Kaard...

King: After everything we went through together.

King: You can’t do this.

Rouxls: I’m sorry, Sire...

King: I’m begging you.

King: Don’t do it.

Rouxls: It haseth to be done...

King:

Rouxls:

King:

Rouxls, placing a draw-4 card: Unoeth.

[kingkaardquotes]

Rouxls: A Friend cameth looking for thou.

King: A friend?

Rouxls: ...an Enemy.

King: Oh! Which one?