Decommissioned

"That would make my life a lot easier." The Unwitting Head Chef for Kingsman Goes Simply by Chef. [ Indie Kingsman OC ] [ Only semi-serious ] [ Sideblog of playerentity ] [ Dashboard only ] #kingsmancaterer

[igotcrazylove-blog]

[prettynerdieworks]

[roomeight]

Gordon Ramsay asks Alex James the thing we’ve all been wondering

[mizworldofrandom]

[mizworldofrandom]

[mizworldofrandom]

[bitchycode]

[kingsmancaterer]

oxfordnotbrogues:

kingsmancaterer:

Chef looks up. Sees Harry. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

@oxfordnotbrogues

“Afraid not,” Harry said, “How are you, Chef?” 

“Well, I’m not surprised you always a stubborn fuckin’ bastard.” he scoffs. “Bloody fuckin’ pissed that fuckin’ slag blew up headquarters.... I fuckin’ loved that kitchen, had everything perfectly the way I wanted it....”

[kingsmancaterer]

scottishtech:

“From ma recollection Ah dinnae stutter.” Merlin responds in his normal no-nonsense trainer voice even if deep down he does have a tinge of fear when it comes to the chef. “Ah am tellin’ ye it is a dishonor tae the whisky tae use it fer cookin’ when it’s a 20 year old bottle.” Even so he smirks at the slight threat of being smacked with a spoon. Letting the bottle go he shakes his head at being called a berk before spotting the shortbread and making his way over. “Ye know yer a rude bastart.”

“That isn’t from your bloody collection.” he folds his arm and sets the bottle aside. “Were you bloody concussed too mate?” he leans back against the counter. “Ah yes, I have been told that, but since I seem to do my job bloody well, and I survived an explosion, I think I’m here to stay.”

[kingsmancaterer]

stateswhiskey:

kingsmancaterer:

And Chef stares right back. Oh no. No no no no. Chef was a very angry man. He liked doing his work with little interruption and little idiocy. “What the fuck is that?” he motions towards the ‘sandwich’ on the counter.

“…They ain’t got sandwiches here in England?” He asks, still slowly chewing before swallowing.

“Oh I make sandwiches, that...” he points. “Looks like garbage....” he walks over and looks at it, nose wrinkling. He shoos Whiskey from the sandwich and inspects it. “Oh fuck this...” he takes the sandwich and throws it in the trash. “Wait right there.” he points at Whiskey. He begins to move about the kitchen, grabbing various ingredients. Give it about five minutes and he turns around and holds out a plate. “There....” 

The sandwich is made with ciabatta with grated fontina, thinly sliced prosciutto, sliced figs, and arugula. 

[kingsmancaterer]

“Watch it pornstache.” he points. “And I do a job here, I didn't survive a bloody explosion to not work anymore.”

[kingsmancaterer]

kingsmanpelleas-gaheris:

“I mean, thats who you are though, the chef yeah?” She said with a shrug, “I’m perfectly capable of cooking my own food anyway. Would you like some Oliver type thing? Please sir may I have some food?” She asked as she put on her best English accent

Chef just glares at her. “Not in my bloody kitchen while I am around.” he folds his arms. “Now what the fuck are you doing in my kitchen?”

[kingsmancaterer]

kingsmanpelleas-gaheris:

“I mean, you’re the caterer guy right? And this is the kitchen. It’s hardly some sherlock holmes level mystery what I want,” Deryn said, fighting the urge to roll her eyes

“Did you just call me the caterer guy?” he looks at the small woman pointedly. Chef looks over at her. “You keep up that fuckin’ attitude and I won’t be doin’ a bloody fuckin’ thing for you.”

[kingsmancaterer]

“What the bloody fuck do you want?”

@kingsmanpelleas-gaheris

[kingsmancaterer]

“You bother me too much boy and I swear to christ I’ll put you down my self and I’ll fuckin’ make you into a bloody fuckin’ pie.”

@charleshesketh

[kingsmancaterer]

bulldog-innit:

Eggsy stopped in his tracks, tilting his head in confusion. He squinted at the man, putting his pockets in his trackies. “’Scuse me, bruv? But what makes you fink I’m cravin’ garbage? Just ‘cause I look like a pleb don’t mean I eat like one.” 

He scoffed, taking another step into the kitchen, throwing caution to the wind, and honestly… knowing better.

“Oh fuck off, it ain’t got nothin’ to do with what I think you look like, it’s got everything to do with your age, all you kids eat garbage food.” he hisses. And then the other step comes and boy is the look on Chef’s face is MURDEROUS.

[kingsmancaterer]

agentjackwhiskey:

“What’n the hell did you just call me? What’s a fuck donut supposed to be?”

“You, you fuckin’ twit.” he puts his hands on his hips. “Now why are you here?”