Kink Confessional

A place to come and confess your desires

[kink-confessional]

Talk Kinky With Me

Submit asks with confessions about your kinks, questions about kinks, statements about kinks, vents about kinks - all things kink are welcome.

Resources | More Links Soon

No judgement - only education.

I'll put my decades of life to use to help teach you what you might not know, and maybe even help you see kinks you aren't comfortable with in a different light. You don't have to enjoy every kink out there, but being chill about them is a good step toward being a decent person.

More than anything I want to help educate people about kink in all its forms - from its uses in literature, fic, art, and fantasy, all the way to its real world applications spanning 24/7 D/s life and spontaneous sessions.

There's nothing wrong with being kinky, there's nothing wrong with talking about it either. It's far more common, far more normal, and far more healthy than some people think, and I want to help folks understand that, and also give folks a safe space to learn and talk about it.

Come vent your frustrations, ask your questions, share you desires:

There is No Kink that is taboo here.

The only King is Consent.

PLEASE ONLY SUBMIT ANONYMOUS ASKS. I appreciate people being willing to talk with their whole chest, but if you submit an ask off anon, currently I will screen shot the ask and answer it that way.

Pardon my dust while I continue to set this up and get a nice, shiny, proper pinned post up and going.

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I'm sending this confession because quite frankly I'm losing my mind and I need to get it out. I feel deeply ashamed of this kink in particular, so much so I've never told anybody about it and it makes feel gross when I feel arousal from it.

I like fat people.

Everywhere you always hear people talk about how evil people like me are but I'm not doing anything bad, I'm not forcing anybody into anything, it's just something I'm into. Yet I feel like something is very wrong with me and I'm even afraid to tell my partner in fear of them thinking I only like them for their size which couldn't be further from the truth.

I don't know why I am like this, I've been like this since I can remember. Like I remember being a child and getting funny feelings from certain TV show episodes.

I try to not think about it but I never succeed in turning it off.

I can think of a lot of ways that society would have you feeling bad for this, but I can at least say that I don't see anything wrong with it.

Lots of people have a body type that they're attracted to. For the majority of people that's formed by societal pressures, and for others it's not.

I dated a guy who was pretty open about liking fat girls. He didn't phrase it like that, trying to find the words that were more socially acceptable, but for me it was a relief. To be desired for the body I had, and not having to worry/fear that my body was only tolerated because other aspects about me were good enough.

I've heard a phrase before that, to me, is very comforting, and I don't know if it'll help you, but!

"You are someone's kink."

No matter what body you have, no matter what desires you have, no matter what things you enjoy - or don't - there are people who will find you attractive as you are. You don't have to change, or fit into someone else's box, because there are people out there for you.

Also though, there's plenty of reasons to be attracted to someone who is fat. Whether your mind is seeing it as a sign of fertility, vitality, survivability, etc. But it doesn't have to be that deep, attraction doesn't need to be some primal instinctual level stuff to be valid.

You can just like fat people, that's valid just as it is.

As long as you're not forcing someone into a box, you should be able to like what you like without guilt or shame.

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Having super specific kinks is so annoying especially when you aren’t a good writer or artist

Whatever, I’ll make the worst ms paint art before I let the world strip me of my fantasies

Amen to that - plus if you make enough ms paint art you'll practice your way into making better art.

Stubbornness and desire work very well as motivation.

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Being on your knees at someone’s feet while they pet your hair mindlessly and let you kiss at their body >>>>>

I think most of my fantasies as of late this week have been about worship, and like physical showcases of submission like that. I love the idea of being able to submit and bow to a guys every whim, and knowing my place 24/7 (especially in physical ways.) I’m still kinda scared of the idea of dating a man/being in a relationship we’d call a relationship, since I’m still chock full of shame for yknow… being gay and all… so being able to picture myself loving and worshipping and caressing another man, below him, looking up at him like my God without having to say the words is… yeah. I just want to show it without having to say it, without having to think about it. I just want to kiss and touch every inch of my lovers body and show him how I’d do anything for him, no matter how scary or degrading or whatever. How I’d devote my life and soul and being to him, just for the privilege to kiss his feet and thighs and stomach and neck and face.

I don’t know why I want it so bad, if I’m being entirely honest. Like I do, but it’s so complicated that… I can’t figure out what exactly makes me need it. But I do know it gets me going.

There's a LOT of possible reasons, and I won't play armchair therapist, but I'll say one day you'll find words that click and you're realize why you enjoy it/want it so bad.

And, I think, no matter the reason, you're probably going to find yourself sobbing. Whether in joy, or grief, or some other emotion, it's been my experience that it's often just a really overwhelming revelation.

But... a good one, honestly. Sometimes growth sucks, but it's always worth the ache, and sometimes relief can be sweet and still be heavy with the need to do things after the fact.

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Resources!

People keep asking, so here's some stuff that I know is at least a good 7/10 in terms of quality.

Please note some links may be broken, but you can usually search the article title in your engine of choice, and find a repost of it.

General Safety and Welcome Information from Kink.com - lots of links to other things, a focus on rope work, consent, and making sure you're safe and not being abused.

A short list of Kinky Resources organized by Ranai - Some broken/old links, but if you search up the titles you can still find them.

A short list of essays by Jay Wiseman - Not an end-all be-all resource, but good stuff for instilling a proper fear of god in terms of risky play choices, and mitigating risks.

Note: I do not personally know Ranai or Jay Wiseman, but people keep asking me for good resources, and both of these cover a wide range of topics, and link into other resources. It's a far better starting place than just telling people to go gobble something.

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Okay, so I don't even know where to START researching about this, so I've decided to turn to this blog because I have sent asks before and find it a comforting/reliable area

Me and my partner are both at least a bit into the idea of choking with our hands, and from my limited knowledge of what I've seen before, there are different ways to do it that are more safe than others.

I seriously don't want any of us getting hurt in a way not intended (both of us do have some masochistic and sadistic tendencies, but still want it controlled) and I want to learn the safer ways. But like, how TF do you find a reliable source for that stuff ;;

I am not an expert, so I'm not going to give you any direct advice, but I can help you sort out what's a good resource and what isn't.

Breath Play is a fairly common kink, but it's also the one that tends to go sideways more than most. The reason is that even restricted breathing, or reduced blood flow, can have bad results. You don't have to cut off air and blood flow completely to be at risk.

The best resources for safe breath play is any source that prioritizes safety while taking part in it. It should speak about symptoms that you can look out for in order to avoid any unfortunate injuries. It should prioritize quick release, physical signs - like the common tapping out that's used in wrestling and martial arts, and having back up signs like humming, tongue clicking, etc.

As a general rule any resource for BDSM that prioritizes safety is going to be a better resource than others. Bondage guides that don't mention pinch points, or explain why anchor points should avoid joints aren't going to be good resources.

Same with breath play. Any resource that isn't advising you to have a phone nearby in case of the worst-case scenario - and frankly, blood play, knife play, and even bondage should have a phone nearby - isn't being honest about the risks involved.

Now, there's risks with swimming. People get hurt walking up and down stairs.

This is not me saying breath play is bad and awful, and shouldn't ever be done. This is me saying that even mundane activities come with risks.

Do Not Under Estimate The Risks.

I hope that helps, and I wish you both the best! Everything is a risk, and part of living is deciding which ones to take, and which ones to avoid, and if you're going to get into one, being educated and aware beforehand means you'll have many more sessions to enjoy ^_^

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I had a dream I wanted to share with someone but I don't know who I could possibly tell this to, so I'm sharing it here in your confessional.

Sometimes when I wake up from sleep I'm still dreaming. Kind of half awake half asleep. I'm usually aware of what room I'm in in the waking world but the dream is continuing. I can't control anything in the dream, it's more like I'm watching a movie. This has only ever happened with sex dreams.

The most recent was a breeding/pregnancy kink dream where I was having sex with a person who had these pregnancy powers. If they came in someone, that person would become pregnant, period. Also if they came in someone twice, that person would have twins. Three times, triplets. So on and so forth.

I remember that they told me to count how many times they came in me and if I stopped counting they would start over. I don't think they explicitly told me they were going to cum in me seven times, but somehow I knew that I was counting to seven.

I kept up with the counting and they kept on cumming in me and I could see my tummy getting fuller and it turned me on so much I came, both in the dream and in the waking world. But my cumming made me fail to count to seven, which meant they would have to start over. And that's when I fully woke up.

Oh that is quite the dream.

A good one if you're into breeding and such, perhaps a bit of a nightmare if you're not keen on having kids.

I do love the "logic" of dreams, honestly, and it seems this one was a sweet dream for you at the end of it at least ^_^

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Must confess, that stupid religious dog is probably the reason I have a nosebleed kink

I will admit I don't know who or what you're talking about, but your confession is still valid.

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I have a huge, painful, hard to ignore corruption kink. And I’ve only realized it recently, and it explains… so fucking much, man.

I want to praise and worship a guy who makes me denounce my religion all together in favor of serving/submitting to him. And… even though getting into the specifics usually flusters me too much, I feel kinda bold right now, so…

I really really wanna do that whole thing, but also suck the dudes dick like fuckin CRAZY. I don’t even think I’d be good at it, I just know that my natural need to please people would really override that, and having him hold my head down or guide me through it while praising me when I do good would be… ah. I shake just thinking about it. It’d have to be forced though, cause I get kinda weird and uptight about liking being a bottom, and it’s led me to some dark places… those dark places being called CNC and corruption, lol.

But yeah, I just really want a dude to come and absolutely ruin me, make me give up religion to make him my God instead, and “force” me to do the things I desire until it’s not so forced anymore.

PS: your ask box has sort of become a place of comfort for me, I guess? Being able to speak so freely like this just feels really good, and it’s definitely helped lift some weight off of my shoulders about this topic in general. God bless, dude. Thank you for being without judgement. Seriously.

Hell yeah! I'm glad I could help - even if it's just a little bit, that's part of why I put this blog together. A little bit of education, a little bit of confession, a healthy dose of acceptance.

That's an incredible scenario too. It's a different take on corruption than what I usually think of - which is not a bad thing by any stretch. I usually think of corruption as someone innocent and subdued being corrupted, but a kind of brat-taming vibe is a nice touch.

For what it's worth too, I think you'll have a decent time finding someone willing to indulge you. Whether it's with someone who becomes your partner, or someone you do sessions with, so I hope you're able to indulge in some way shape or form, sooner than not ^_^

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I really want to be creampied but my gf just told me that she isn’t really willing, or it doesn’t interest her, and my other partner is a sub bottom, so I’m just kinda uninterested in that from them, but like. I’ve never fucked raw. I got a birth control implant that honestly has fucked with my hormones a lot (trans man) just because I wanted to be bred. I don’t really want to fluid bond with someone who I don’t have a consistent relationship with, so I’m like mourning the dynamic of being forced to carry someone’s baby, being made to do something I never wanted and never want and being made to beg for it. I need to feel someone cum into me, ughhhhh

🤝🤝🤝

You might need to invest in toys that can ejaculate into you, and see if that helps take the edge off.

But whatever you end up doing anon, good luck 🍀

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I'm really into forced orgasm and overstimulation because I like the idea of someone controlling my body in that sense, but I don't think it's possible for me. I have this fantasy of a dominant partner who makes me orgasm again and again, until I'm so overstimulated that I'm begging him to stop, but he won't. The thing is, I need to concentrate on some kinky scenario in my head in order to be able to climax. I don't have a problem to come, I just need to "put all my mental effort" into getting there. So while there is arousal from physical stimulation, I don't think I could ever orgasm just from that if I didn't want to. I read somewhere that it's quite common for people with vaginas to have to concentrate on coming and while that's true for me, I doubt that it's like an universal truth. Or do I take this whole "forced" thing too literal because it's all play pretend in the first place? I guess what I'm asking is, is it really possible to be forced to orgasm?

Absolutely.

Bodies are messy and complex, and certainly sometimes that can get in the way of being able to climax - however, it also absolutely means you can made to climax when you don't want to. Someone stimulating you, especially in a kinky scene with any number of toys and restraints, can go far beyond what you could do on your own.

And beyond what another person could do on their own.

So you end being stimulated physically in several different ways, and that can easily overwhelm you.

I think more than needing to focus on the mental aspect of orgasm, that what's likely happening is your thoughts are getting in the way. You distract them with hot scenarios so they don't get hung up on unnecessary things, and it helps your body orgasm.

With someone else "forcing" you to orgasm you are going to be properly distracted. the setup of the scene alone can very easily get you into the mindset. Playing pretend is a lot stronger than people realize as well, and you'd be surprised how into it you can get.

Plus, arousal, fear, excitement are all pretty closely related, so they can all be utilized to get your brain and body in the right place.

Whether via experience and skill of the dom working with you, or simply through persistence and patience, you can most assuredly be brought to climax repeatedly, no matter what your head space is ^_^

CW: mentions of rape and consent below the cut, but it is on topic of the above.

The close proximity of fear/arousal/excitement is why people who get assaulted can orgasm involuntarily. I apologize for getting dark, but your body doesn't give a shit about consent. Not in pregnancy, not in anything else -- just because it's something you don't want, doesn't mean you'll be able to control it.

When you're afraid and adrenaline is rushing and fight or flight is maxed out, your body doesn't know the difference between Yay Excitement! and Boo Danger! - and the physical responses for both can heighten your physical sensitivity, making it much easier to induce an orgasm.

Orgasming during a sexual or physical assault is zero indication you secretly enjoyed it, or anything along those lines. I just wanted to be clear about that.

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up until a couple of years ago it felt impossible for me to orgasm. idk if i was unknowingly edging myself out or fear that i was going to start urinating during masturbation even if there were no signs that i needed to, which funnily enough the idea of one pissing themself while masturbating does get me going, or if i hadn't figured out what gets me going yet, but nowadays it doesn't take long for me to get off at least during certain fantasies. Some take about three minutes, others take fifteen. i do remember my first orgasm though

I think it's pretty common for that first orgasm to be a bit of a hurdle. There's plenty to make it difficult, I mean for one, you don't know nearly enough about yourself OR orgasms when you're having your first one. Secondly, bodies are weird, and often times the build up to an orgasm can be intense enough to be mistaken as an orgasm.

Making an actual orgasm kind of scary when it does happen.

I'm glad you were able to overcome your concerns, and find enjoyment =3 And yes, for better or worse, sometimes it can happen in a couple minutes, sometimes it can take almost an hour (or more) - but it feels good and it's good exercise.

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i fucking love dilfs <3

there's this one guy i'm into, too shy to say who, but i'm starting to like him yet nobody ever seems to think the same about him. oh well lol

xD being on anon is so that you can be shy and still say the thing \o/

But I get you, I've gotten oddly shy even on anon before, so I can appreciate the feels.

I don't know what else to say, but I feel like I should be waving a little pennant that says "yay dilfs" on it or something XD

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I’m sort of anxious that at this point. it’s obvious which of these asks belongs to me, but this is weighing on me like most other desires I have.

I really, really want to be manipulated. I hate to admit it, but I’m immensely attracted to a specific kind of guy, and it’s cause I’m always looking to find a replication of the most beautiful man I used to know. Fragile ego, anger problems, god complex, focused too much on his appearance. I swear this is a kink… in a way. Seeing men acting like that turns me on, but when it’s directed to me it’s a whole other thing. Being vain and callous and uncaring and, genuinely, entitled as if he owns the world. All my life I’ve yearned to worship something or somebody and receive answers back, and after discovering how fulfilling it feels to worship a man who thinks he deserves it and nothing less, I’m having a hard time adjusting. I already struggle with accepting my same sex attraction, but the fact that I am constantly searching for downright harmful men like this makes me feel like I’m bad, or I’m committing a grievous sin.

My ultimate fantasy is to live with that kind of guy, preferably not in a committed relationship, just a mutual need for each other where he helps fill my role of God and I help him expand his ego, and when he deems it necessary, he can adjust and punish me whenever it fits, and cause of our dynamic it’s basically impossible for me to leave or get out. Genuinely nothing gets me hotter than picturing this faceless man threatening to take my life or belittling me insanely personally if I even consider defending myself or taking a stand.

Maybe this is unhealthy, maybe this is just a fetish. But my heart hurts with how badly I want to have this life, and I can’t even tell if I’m wearing rose tinted goggles anymore, and if it’s just fantasy or something wrong with me.

As a fantasy, it's perfectly valid and legit. Healthy even, as alarming as it might sound, and if it helps at all there are aspects I can completely appreciate and even relate to.

But pursuing it as a reality, if that's an actual goal you have, then I'd recommend talking to someone who can help you not do that. Whether it's a friend, a therapist, etc.

And there's a fine line between pursuing a relationship with an actual self-absorbed asshole who will use you vs pursuing a relationship with someone who cares about you, who will pretend to be a self-absorbed asshole who will use you.

Of the two the latter is the best option.

If nothing else, I would at least suggest that you sit down with this fantasy and figure out why you have it so heart-achingly strong.

Is it a matter of how you perceive yourself? Is it because you think being queer means you deserve such treatment? Is it because you think you need to be put in your place? Is the external validation of your lack of worth relieving the internal self-loathing you're struggling with?

I'm not saying any of these are applicable to you, but that's the kind of questions you need to consider. You gotta be the one in control of your kinks, not them controlling you.

What drives the kink at its center? And the answer doesn't necessarily make it a Good Kink or a Bad Kink either. This isn't about classifying it as something right or wrong, it's about understanding what it's coming from so that you can do two things: Work on the core reason behind it so that you can interact with the kink in a healthier way, and to make sure that if you do fall in with an actual piece of trash partner you don't just stay and take the abuse.

I wish that I could give you a great big hug anon, hang in there. ❤️

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Hello Just wanted to ask a question.

Is it common to get aroused by certain kinks and fantasies but never want to try them in real life or only want to do some of them in real life?

For example, I might enjoy getting off to watching orgies and threesomes in porn but would probably not do it in real life.

Absolutely!

That's really normal!

There's a saying "One man's trash, is another's treasure." but also "One man's favorite session, is another man's hard no."

And all that's in between that too.

Sometimes it's a matter of not being able to do it safely in reality, sometimes it's a matter of not wanting to clean up after it, sometimes it's just a logistical nightmare. But there's a lot of reasons for a fantasy to stay a fantasy - and sometimes it's also the understanding that the fantasy is perfect as it is as a fantasy.

It's fine to just leave it be a fantasy.

That said, I do think people should try as many things as possible, as safely as possible, because sometimes you don't know what you like until you try it. And sometimes you can learn what parts you do like and find those in other kinks that more amenable to you outside of fantasy.

BUT ALSO - That's by no means a requirement or anything, because it is absolutely normal to have some things that are better to you as fantasies. ^_^

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I used to always have this fantasy of being completely naked a leaning against my dom who is fully clothed and they are overstimulating me with their fingers and toys.

to now that fantasy kind of faded out for a little bit only to come back recently. It’s interesting how there are some fantasies and kinks that come and go while others might go and come back at random times

Oh yeah, times change, people change, circumstances change - Fantasies change.

Sometimes the core part of a fantasy, i.e. handing over power, being protected, etc., can stay the same while the details around it change.

People can shift from dom to sub to switch to whatever as well.

That's kind of the fun part of being human, as we grow, we change, and how that change impacts us can be surprising. But it can also lead us back to something we were, often improved, or at least more aware of the why, and that can be fun too.

And sometimes, you just go back to something that was comforting before, and let it be comforting again, and that's all there is to it, and there's nothing more it needs to be.

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I’ve confessed here before,,,,,, and I feel that I need to again just to get this out before it eats me alive.

I think I’m conditioning myself to be aroused by religion, cause of how hard I’m trying to push down my feelings and how hard I’m trying to practice chastity cause of it. I’m kind of ashamed of myself that now when I pray I get like insatiably horny. It’s killing me. Is this a thing??? Do other people out there like religion this way?

Oh most definitely.

Religious based kinks are many and varied. Chasity itself is also a wide array of kinks as well, honestly.

Sometimes such kinks happen to help heal a trauma, sometimes they happen to help empower one's beliefs, sometimes they just happen cause they just happen. Religious Euphoria is most certainly a thing, and it's not impossible for it to manifest in any number of situations or settings.

And it can certainly crop up even in the most mundane of situations, and certainly in the midst of something you're struggling with.

Prolonged repression of emotions, however, can have very bad consequences, so please continue with care. An actual therapist would be able to offer better advice than I can, but I know it can be messy business.

I will say, I don't think horny is anything to be ashamed of. God should be so blessed to have such primal devotion, for whatever my opinion is worth.