#kink confessional

[kink-confessional]

I’ve had lots of different kinks and fetishes for as long as I can remember, but since I started therapy I’m realizing how many of them are directly related to traumas I experienced as a child. And now I feel disgusting for finding them arousing. I get really taken out of the moment now because any time I indulge in them all I can think is “wow I can’t believe you’re enjoying this knowing what caused it” and feeling ashamed.

I went through a similar phase myself.

If your therapist is making you feel guilty for this connection, you need a different one. If your therapist doesn't know you're feeling guilty about the connection, you should talk to them about it.

If *people* are making you feel bad, then cease listening to them immediately.

It took me a lot of years to realize how complex my own kinks were. How some were related to trauma, and how some weren't. How sometimes the same kinks could be completely separate from my trauma during one session, and be deeply rooted in it in another session.

There's no shame there. I promise you. Coping through kinks is totally normal and it's healthy. The shame you feel might just be you working through it on your own as well, because that can be messy, but I'm here to tell you at least one thing I know for sure:

You're not alone.

You're not the first person to have that thought. Not the first person to have it completely ruin your mood. You're not broken for having the kinks you have, you're not broken for reacting how you're reacting.

Being human is messy. It's complicated and the answers I found might not be the ones you need. In the end I decided that kinks were how I got to take power back from the things I endured.

It was MY decision who I submitted to. It was MY decision who touched me. Kink gave me the parameters to play pretend in specific ways and at the end of it I had control over it.

And I had control over who I gave control to.

Now kink is where I find both my solace and my fun. It's freeing and fun and silly and comfortable and safe.

Good luck anon, I hope you find the support you need, and no matter what answer you find, I hope you find love and joy along with it. ^_^

[kink-confessional]

Confession time

I genuinely enjoy looking at art of kinks im not into

Not in a mocking way, I just genuinely think it’s interesting

Idk I guess it’s just enrichment

Has also helped me figure out what I’m into, what I’m chill with, and what is a huge nnoo for me

I do this sometimes too!

Every once in a while I get a wild hair to just click random tags on a site and see where it takes me, and sometimes I'll go hunting for something new more directly.

But usually it's just going on an adventure and being chill with it, and for pretty much the same reason, honestly. It's good to wiggle out of your comforts now and then so you aren't so easily swayed by someone jerking your chain over a thing.

[kink-confessional]

I don’t know if this is weird but I love to watch guys cry.

Dacryphilia aka The Crying Kink, is a legit kink, and it can cover a whole wide variety of reasons why people enjoy it.

Some folks enjoy the sight of tears themselves, without much more associated with it. So someone who is emotional and someone who is only teary because they're choking on something, both have the same effect. The concern is less why, and more just the end result of the tears.

For some folks the emotional aspect is VERY important, and they either prefer tears from fear, overstimulation, laughter, etc. Negative or positive, the associated reason can be even more important than the tears, and the tears are just a physical sign of success.

For even other folks sometimes it's a matter of bucking social norms. So men crying, or getting someone who is usually composed to break and sob, etc. The tears are important because society says they shouldn't shed by that person, or in that situation, and that's the motivation more than anything else.

Which is a whole lot of words to say, I don't think it's weird at all ^_^

[kink-confessional]

Do you have any tips on how to get into your local bdsm/kink scene? I’ve been interested in it for a while but I’ve no idea where to start, and am also worried that I’m like ??? not allowed there because I’m beyond a beginner. Sorry, I know this isn’t what you usually post but I’m not sure who to ask or where to look…

Everyone has to start somewhere.

New people are a delight in any scene - online or local, frankly.

My best advice is to look up local munches, especially if you can find any for "mature" or "older" folks. If you don't know anything, going into a space of solidly established kinksters is a good place to start. 40-50+ is a positive sign as a general rule. (Younger led are just as valid, but as a former 20s kinkster I will say the energy level of the older folks is easier to LEARN from.)

You can also search local privately owned kink shops in your area and see if they have or host workshops. These are good places to learn and to meet people who are there to learn with you, and get to meet the teachers/leaders in your area.

No group will be perfect, and you might not even find your fit on the first try, but unless you're in a town with a population of 300~ you should be able to find more than one pocket to check out.

I'd also recommend looking into the more niche groups too. It might be outside of your comfort level, but the age play folks where they get into the diapers and such are going to be some of the most welcoming and non-judgemental folks you will ever find. They'll know the safest spaces and the best resources, honestly, and if you're having trouble finding a place that vibes with you through the munches and shops, they'll be a solid resource.

You don't know what you don't know until you know it, and no one worth their leather in the kink scene should hold that against you.

[kink-confessional]

I get horny when my bladder is full. If I tense my muscles right, it feels soooo good. My google research tells me this can be because the bladder puts pressure on the internal parts of the clitoris. Which was new information to me, certainly something I never learned about in sex ed.

I'm not thinking about my bladder being full when this happens, I'm usually fantasizing about something. And none of that fantasy ever involves urine or wetting myself so I don't think this counts as omorashi? But I'm not sure.

Yup yup, the clit is the external part of a larger organ that wraps around the vagina.

Where the line for omorashi is drawn can vary person to person, but being turned on by having a full bladder would fit, in my opinion. You don't necessarily have to have the desire to relieve yourself.

Plus, I think, it can also feel more intense, going through an orgasm while desperately holding it in at the same time. I've definitely had the combination of horny + needing to pee to the point where I've nearly orgasmed when I finally got to go to the bathroom. The relief, release, and status of being horny combine and it can be pretty intense.

I imagine when the stars align and there's a vibrator handy, it might be even more intense.

But! Slightly off-track that I was getting, it's fairly common, even if people might be embarrassed to admit to it. Extra pressure is also why having someone inside you anally, and someone inside you vaginally can make your orgasm more intense, even if you don't historically orgasm from anal sex OR vaginal sex. The extra pressure can create enough stimulation that doesn't occur otherwise, allowing an orgasm even when you're not stimulated externally.

Not that I'd avoid external stimulation >.> I'm just saying it becomes a greater possibility. ^_^

[kink-confessional]

Must confess, that stupid religious dog is probably the reason I have a nosebleed kink

I will admit I don't know who or what you're talking about, but your confession is still valid.

[kink-confessional]

any advice for someone who wants to write and share smut but is intimidated and scared to post it publicly?

\o/ Do it anonymously!

You don't have to put your whole face and self out there to share your words, I promise =3 It might not feel like it lately with how open folks are, and how invasive most platforms are, but you don't have to say one single thing about yourself if you don't want to.

You can make a whole separate email, and have a whole separate account on whatever platform you want, etc. etc. You don't have to put your real face, or your internet face on something.

Even real world physical copy book authors often have pen names, and how much space is between that name and them can vary, but you can put up a bunch of space between the two if you need to.

I would say from my own experience, once you start to get feedback it'll be less scary, but you might also find you enjoy the distance between your Writer-sona and your Internet-sona, so there's no reason to close that gap if you don't want to.

But that's my two cents ^_^

And you might not see people finding your stuff as fast, if you go the anonymous route, but they will find it - trust.

[kink-confessional]

Hey there--thanks for having this blog! I was wondering if you had any resources (websites, blogs, books, etc) for kink + disability/chronic illness? My partner and I both have chronic physical illnesses that flare up now and again and sort of get in the way of how we go about things like, say, impact play (ex. when his back flares up, he can't use the muscles in his torso to swing a paddle properly without hurting himself or possibly me in the not-fun way), and would love to see what resources may be out there for practicing kinksters with disabilities/physical limitations.

Thanks in advance <3

I’m NGL I don’t have anything like that at the ready, BUT - I’m going to put this ask out there and see if anyone can bring in their recs.

This is making me realize what I could really add to the pinned post is a resource library, so I will work on that over the next few days. I have some friends I can reach out too as well and see what they can organize for me.

I know that a straps and wedges are good for helping accommodate keeping bodies in place, but assisting with impact play… hm… automatic spankers are kind of the realm of fantasy but not impossible. But having something that could give your swing a little more torque without contorting your back would be a happy medium.

Like I said, let me reach out into the wide world and get back to you!