Our Final Goodbye Pt.2
Feel good/comforting, little angst
Bakugou x reader, Midoriya x reader
Word count: 14k
Summary: Who knew disappearing from someone’s life was going to be so miserable. Were you going to get your life back on track? Or were you going to mull over your relationship for the rest of your life?
A/N: Hello? I’m back? Kind of? A lot has happened these couple of years I’ve been gone. I moved AGAIN to another country; so I am now living in South Korea. I experienced my first family death and first long term relationship breakup. I know you guys have been DMing me and commenting about how much you needed a second part… (sorry for the long delay) this is for you guys and more than anything a little something for me as well. Enjoy! Hopefully I can get into writing again :) Happy 5 year anniversary to me!
Sequel to part 1, you can read here
Fuck your life.
Why did this have to happen to you? Why do all the bad things happen to you? What could you have possibly done to be treated this way? Were you a horrible person in your past life? Does karma just hate you? Or were you actually a horrible human being and just didn’t know it?
Life after the break up was… difficult to say the least. Everyone talks about how much you can grow as a person after a break up, how a break up can actually be a positive thing. But no one warns you about how actually insane you can get; driven by sadness and depression.
At first, you tried to deny it. Deny that you weren’t okay. You tried to convince yourself that the break up didn’t actually hurt you as much as it did. After moving yourself all the way across the globe, you decided that you wouldn’t let this break up with Bakugou get to you. You put a smile on your face, at least tried to. No one could see how much you were hurting inside if you just kept a smile on your face. But everyone who knew you, which wasn’t many, could see right through you.
“(y/n)?” Deku had called out your name, but you continued to stare out into the distance. Water was overfilling the cup in your hands. You couldn’t feel it but then again, you couldn’t really feel anything nowadays. Deku stopped unboxing your books and rested his arms on his knees, properly turning to you.
“(y/n)… (y/n)!” he finally snapped you out of your trance. You slowly turned your head towards the male’s voice, still not grasping what was going on around you.
“I think that’s enough water…” he pointed out. You quickly looked at your hands and indeed there was enough water in the cup. You mentally sighed and stopped the faucet. With a cheeky smile, you dumped a little bit of water back into the sink and offered it to Deku.
“Sorry. And thanks again for helping me move in. I know you’re busy and all…” you trailed off at the end. Deku couldn’t help but accept the cup with saddened and pitiful eyes. And that’s what you hated. You didn’t want the pity. You didn't want people to feel bad about your situation. What for? This was your relationship, your problem to deal with. That’s why you decided that you were going to wear a smile on your face no matter what; to show people that you were in fact okay. After all, you were the one to technically break up with him. You did this to yourself; you knew the outcome. So, there’s no reason for you to be sad since you were the one who initiated it.
“You don’t have to hide it, you know,” Deku blurted out after taking a sip of water. The ‘smile’ on your face faltered but you quickly put it back up.
“What are you-”
“I think it’s worse that you’re hiding it. It won’t make you feel any better. It’s okay to mourn. Actually, to properly process your emotions, you should-”
“I don’t need you to tell me how to ‘properly process my emotions’” you suddenly got angry, causing Deku to freeze in place. “If I say I’m okay, then I’m okay. Don’t try to tell me how to feel or what I should be feeling. You’re not the one in this situation so you have no say in anything. If you just want to run your mouth, then I don’t need your help. You can leave.” You pointed to the door, gesturing him to get out. Deku put both hands up in defense, carefully trying not to cause you anymore distress.
“I spoke out of place, I’m sorry. I just… I’m worried about you,” he started. It was too late. The tears were already filling your eyes and the anger inside you kept bubbling up. If he didn’t leave this instant, there’s no telling what the demon inside you would say or do. You took a deep breath in and slowly released, hoping that would calm you down.
“I understand. But it’s probably best you leave,” you tried to tell him in the nicest way you could possibly say, given how you were containing all your anger.
“(y/n), let me help you. You don’t have to deal with this by yourself,” the hero turned comforter tried saying.
“I’m not asking for your help. I’m asking you to leave,” you once again gestured toward the door. Knowing that he lost this one, he made his way towards the door but couldn’t fully allow himself to leave. He gripped the door handle but only rested it there.
“Call me if you need me. I’ll be by your side every step of the way,” was Deku’s last goodbye before leaving your apartment.
You waited until the door had completely shut to let out a small sigh of relief. But in doing that, something uncomfortable rested in your chest and no matter what you did, it wouldn’t go away. You tried to beat your chest to get rid of it. You tried taking deep breaths, pacing around the room, drinking water. Nothing was working. Everything you were doing was probably making it worse. The feeling in your chest was so tight and uncomfortable that you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You felt yourself caving in. The sensation was physically pushing you back until you were on the edge of your bed. You collapsed back on your bed, hand clenching your chest as you curled into yourself.
And then you sobbed.
Once you started crying, you couldn’t stop. You had thought that you cried it all out before, that there were no more tears left to cry. How wrong you were. The reality of the break up was starting to hit you. And the reality was, he was no longer in your life. The man of your dreams. The man who you talked about starting a future with. The man who you could be yourself around. The man who knew your deepest darkest secrets. The man who would comfort you and never judge you for even the smallest things. He was so perfect in your eyes and you were convinced that you would be together till the end of time. How could it all have ended in such short notice? You thought you had given yourself enough preparation by distancing yourself, by slowly accepting the fact, but the true fact is, you weren’t going to be over him for a long time.
You questioned yourself a lot. Were you allowed to feel this way? Were you allowed to be upset when you were the one who broke it off? Why was it always you that bad things happened? He was a good guy. Such a good guy. You wanted him and you’ve always chosen him. So why was it that you always ended up with the short end of the stick?
Some moments of the day were okay… okay, as in there were no tears. But just because there were no tears didn’t mean that you were feeling better. If you weren’t crying your eyes raw, then you would stare up at the ceiling. Sometimes you were thinking about him, sometimes your head was empty as you watched your day pass away. You couldn’t find an appetite so there wasn’t a need for food. You also weren’t thirsty so no need for water either. No food and no water going into your body just means that nothing can come out. Great, you didn’t have any motivation to get up from your bed anyway.
From sunrise until sunset, you watched as the grossly, warm sunset fade into darkness. And there you were again, alone in the dark with your thoughts. What a dangerous place to be… alone with your thoughts. And what better place to be alone with your thoughts than the pure darkness. During the daytime, your thoughts were at surface level: how you were just sad in general and how you don’t think you can escape from your sadness. When night came, your sadness reached a new level of concerning. You started reevaluating your entire life existence. Started thinking about every bad core memory that’s ever happened to you. Each memory hurt a different part of you and then you think… all those memories, all those horrible times framed who you are now. God… that’s why you act the way you act, the way you think, the way you treat life? And then you continue to think about those memories, almost as if you were purposely making yourself sad.
Little surprise, you weren’t basking in your sadness alone. Despite kicking him out of your apartment that day, Deku kept coming back. And you let him back in. But he never talked about what happened. He never acted strange or out of character. He acted as if it never happened. But you couldn’t act that way. You treated him horribly, even though at the time, you were trying so hard not to turn back into that horrible monster that hurts everybody. But you just figured out that you could never change.
“Do you want to get up and do something?” he asks you gently from the side of the bed. He’s kneeling on the ground, elbows resting on the bed so that he could be leveled with you. Meanwhile, you were curled up in your forever ball, the only comfort you could find. You stared into the abyss without answer but Deku got all the answers he needed.
“Maybe we should get some fresh air,” he suggested. Again, no answer.
“Can I at least open a window?” that only earned him a frown. Right, so that’s a no.
“Fine. If you only do one thing today, then that’s take a shower,” he said with a sterner tone. All the other things he said were suggestions but it doesn’t seem like he was asking with this request. It was more demanding if anything.
“I bet you feel real gross right now.” He teased, but he wasn’t wrong about that. Straight on the nose, actually. Speaking of nose, your nose and your whole face was feeling dry and oily at the same time. The tangles in your hair, you know are going to be a pain in the ass to take out. And honestly, you didn’t want your hair to get matted. That would be impossible to take out. Maybe a shower didn’t sound so bad afterall…
“If you do one thing today, let that be a shower. Come, let me help you,” Deku reached out his hand. You stared at it. Should you, or should you not? Deku’s hands were laid out gently, only waiting for acceptance. But looked like it would be okay if it was rejected once more. His small gesture was more than just trying to help you take a shower. If you took his hand, you would be accepting the next steps of moving on. If you took his hand, that means you were ready to venture on your healing journey. And he was right. You felt gross, you needed to get out of bed. You knew this. You know you have to move on. You know you have to start living your life. But why were the first baby steps so hard? Help was staring at you in the face, literally reaching their hand out for you, so why were you finding it so difficult to accept help?
Frustration was clawing inside of you. Just fucking do it! You want to forget about him. You want to get better. You want to take that shower. Your hand felt heavy as you reached for Deku’s out stretched hand. He gently helped you up, supporting you from behind. Because as soon as you got up, regardless if you were going slow and taking your time, you felt dizziness hitting you straight in the face. God, you literally felt like the room was spinning. Was the room spinning or were you physically spinning? The only reason why you didn’t topple over was because of Deku.
“Woah, I got you,” he was surprised but held a strong grip around your waist. This is what happens when you are in bed for too long and decide to all of a sudden get up. You couldn’t help but clutch your head in agony. The pounding against your head felt like your brain was working on overtime. It was unbearable. Maybe a shower and some food would help…
With much success, you found yourself under the scolding hot water of your shower. Deku insisted he help, even more than he should really. But you declined his offer and undressed yourself. For a minute, you just stood under the running water. Too many thoughts were running in your mind again. Bakugou. Uraraka. The party. Them kissing. Bakugou. Your memories together. The vacation. Deku. Bakugou again. How could one mind be occupied with only one person? It’s not like you absolutely fell for this person and thought he was the man of your dreams…
The hot steam filled the bathroom, eventually leaking out into the rest of your apartment. You had to snap out of it eventually. Taking a step out of the fresh shower, you wrapped your hair up in one towel and draped another one over your body. Thankfully, the shower and closet area were closed off from the rest of your apartment. So even if you were naked, no one could see you getting out of the shower and getting dressed. You changed into fresh, clean, comfortable clothes. Clothes that will eventually stick to your body again once you get situated back in your bed.
The door to your combined bathroom and closet opened and you finally reappeared in front of Deku, who was surprisingly waiting for you on the couch with a table full of Chinese takeaway. You paused in your tracks at the sight. The shower was refreshing, you’ll give it that. But now with the smell of Chinese takeaway filling your apartment and your senses, the realization of how hungry you were was now smacking you in the face. It didn’t help that your stomach couldn’t stop grumbling, especially after the lack of food you’ve had lately. Then you took the moment to look around to find that your apartment was spotless. Your bed was freshly made and fluffed up, ready to be snug in again. Nothing was on the floor. No dishes in the sink. Did Deku do all of this? When did he have time to do this? And when did he have time to order takeout?
“When did you…?” you started to ask. Deku rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish smile.
“As soon as you hopped in the shower. I hope it’s not too much. But I know you haven’t really eaten that much and Chinese is your favorite. Plus, I was kind of craving it too so I just ordered. Sorry if I was going overboard with the cleaning. Thought you would feel better if a fresh you came out to a fresh apartment and-” he rambled on. He only paused when you came up to him silently and rested your head against his chest. Your hands remained on your side but laid your weight against him, guilt washing over you.
“Sorry.” You muttered. Deku’s expression softened. He pat your head and engulfed you in a hug. A hug you desperately needed. Deku has been by your side and taking care of you this entire time. How do you repay him? You yelled at him. Kicked him out of your apartment. Wouldn’t answer him when he was only trying to do his best. Why were you such a mess?
“Hey, hey,” he gently whispered, pulling you in tighter when he heard the small whimpers coming out of your mouth. “What are we crying for?”
“You’ve been too good to me,” you confessed. “I don’t understand how you’re still here. All I’ve been is mean to you.”
“I’d want someone there with me if I was going through something like this too.”
“Yeah, but you wouldn’t have acted as cruelly as me,” your voice trailed and cracked off at the end. The truth of how you acted was hitting you even harder saying it out loud. You have been cruel to him. If you were in his shoes, you probably would have walked out and left him alone to bask in his own feelings. But he didn’t. Why?
“Because I know this is not who you truly are,” he answered as if he could read your thoughts. “And I know that you’re going through a period of grief. Why would I leave when you need a friend the most?”
“You still want to be my friend after all this?” you asked. You felt a hard knuckle hit the top of your head. “Enough of that. Of course I do. Now, if you want me to accept your apology, you have to eat with me.”
And just like that, you found yourself on the couch, slurping up your favorite lo mein noodles while Deku occupied the other side of the couch, immersed in the random TV show that was playing. The flavors of the noodles hit you with full force and you wanted to cry again, but because of how good it was. How long has it been since you had a proper meal? Even if you were putting something into your body, it was either water or bits and pieces of Deku’s food. But never enough to keep you full or even deem as a proper meal. It took some willpower to stop yourself from scarfing down the entire box. And he got orange chicken? This guy must really have wanted you to eat.
After eating something a little more nutritious, you could feel yourself gain more energy. With more energy, came with more food for thought. As if Bakugou wasn’t constantly going through your head, you felt like you could think more clearly about the situation. And what he did… was fucked up. What HE did was cruel and unforgiving. What HE did made him the villain. He made you act like this horrible, fucked up person who doesn’t appreciate their friends.
Deku glanced up from his noodles and show to see your eyebrows bunched up and your lips permanently turned into a frown.
“(y/n)?” he called out your name. The words coming out of his mouth were going in one ear and then out the other. They were floating in the air around you without truly getting through to you. Finally, you had enough. You slammed down the box of lo mein noodles on the table and announced,
“I. am. so. angry!”
Deku blinked at your sudden actions. You huffed and puffed beside him. So much negative emotion took over your body that you started to shake with anger and eventually, those angry tears came down. As if you weren’t crying enough already, but you couldn’t stop.
“I’m so fucking angry,” you poured your heart out, wiping the hot, angry tears away.
“Alright, you’re angry. Let’s talk about it,” Deku tread carefully, in case that you were angry at him. Or even if the anger wasn’t directly aimed at him, he wanted to navigate the situation where you weren’t exploding up on him. He positioned himself to face you but didn’t make any sudden movements to touch you or anything.
“I just… I hate feeling this way. And it’s all because of him. If I never tried to help him, if only I just minded my own business, if I didn’t fall for him the way I did, this would have never happened. I hate him. God, but I hate her even more. She just had to come back into his life. And did you see the way she treated me? Or even talked to me? Pushed me aside as if I had no impact on his life. It’s so bullshit! And why the fuck couldn’t I have fought for him? I should have told her to fuck off and find some other guy. As if she could just take him back after he’s moved on with another person! I couldn’t fight her though… you saw the way Bakugou looked at her. It would have been useless to say all that only to be wrong. Then I’d look like a fool. I gave up so easily. But he didn’t fight for me either, which is the most fucked up part. It’s like he never even liked me in the first place. How could he? He was only using me as a placeholder for his grieving feelings. Of fucking course this would happen to me. Everything bad has to happen to me. It’s like fate doesn’t want me to be happy or something.” You blabbed on and on and on, letting every single emotion, every single running thought, whether it be true or not, come out. And Deku just listened. Not once did he try to interrupt. Not once did he try to interfere, tell you that you were wrong or that you were overthinking it. He waited patiently until you were done. But even when you had said everything that was weighing heavy on your chest, he stayed quiet for another beat more.
“I’d feel the same exact way if I was in your shoes,” he commented. All you could do was roll your eyes.
“You can call me crazy if you want to. I know I am.” You didn’t need him to validate your feelings. If it was anyone else, of course they would feel comforted in his words. Isn’t that the whole reason why you vent to someone? So that you could have someone on your side? At this point, you didn’t need that. What did you need…?
“You’re not crazy. I’m serious. Your partner’s dead girlfriend comes back from the dead and tries to get him back while you’re still together… sounds like a movie. Your life is a movie.”
“If my life were a movie, where’s my happy ending?” you laid your head on the side of the couch while stretching out your legs so that they were resting on top of Deku’s lap. Not that he cared anyway. Actually, he gladly accepted the weight as if it was natural that your legs be there.
“You’ll get one,” he tried to reassure you, but you weren’t so sure about that.
“How do you know? I heard some people are destined to be alone for the rest of their lives. I’m probably one of them,” you muttered the last comment to yourself. Not so subtly as you thought.
“No, you’re not,” he negated you. You gave him those ‘are-you-kidding-me’ kind of eyes.
“How can you be so sure?” you questioned him.
“I know you’re feeling like it’s the end of the world. And I may not know what its like to be in your exact shoes, but I know it gets better.” Cue the eye roll.
“Such a typical thing to say.”
“Typical, but is it not the truth?” Deku challenged you back. All you could do was poke at your noodles and pout. “Look, I know you really liked him…”
“I loved him…” you corrected. Deku was a little taken aback. The air became uncomfortable for a split second until he cleared his throat to correct himself.
“…loved him. But, at the end of the day, he didn’t treat you right. And more importantly, he didn’t choose you. Why would you waste your tears on a guy like him? Because he gave you good memories? Because he made you feel good? You think there’s not another guy out there that can do those same things?” Deku was making very good points. But you couldn’t believe a single word he was saying.
“What if I can’t find another guy?” you ask softly. Do you really believe you could find a better guy than Bakugou.
“I’ve known Bakugou for a long time. Trust me when I say you can find so many guys that are better than Bakugou.” He tried to reassure you, once again. But once again, doubt filled your mind.
“I can find them, but there’s no guarantee that they’ll like me or even want to be with me.”
“(y/n)… are you kidding me? Any guy would be lucky to be in a relationship with you.”
“Izuku, I’m serious…” you wanted to play it off, because everything he was saying about you wasn’t true. Any guy would be lucky to be with you? You? There was nothing that made you special.
“I am serious.” Deku’s tone changed. It was a matter of fact. Glancing up at him, his brows were slightly furrowed, lips frowning in seriousness, eyes piercing right at you. You had to look back down at your uneaten food to avoid the intense expression. “Do you not know what a catch you are? You’re kind, funny, intelligent, and so pr-… so pretty…” The green-haired hero didn’t mean for that last comment to get out, but since he already let it slip, he had to follow through. But not before a rush of red made it to the middle of his cheeks.
“You can say that about literally anybody. Being kind and smart and decent looking doesn’t mean that people are going to like me.” You counterargued.
“Okay. You want me to be more specific? Every time you walk into a room, the room lights up with how bright you are. You are humble and carry yourself with confidence, but not enough that it’s arrogant or cocky. You are always kind to others and welcome everyone that comes into the group. You listen to others with next level enthusiasm, I don’t even know how you do it. I’ve seen you encourage others when they are down. You’re a good person, (y/n). You make me want to be like you. If that doesn’t get to you, I don’t know what will.” Deku shyly laughs, looking away so you don’t see the blush on his face getting deeper and deeper.
You listened. And it made you think. You couldn’t really deny that those facts are true. However true they may be, you couldn’t help but think… is that enough? But the fact that Deku was able to read you like that, means he was really paying attention to you. Guess that wasn’t a surprise given how attentive he was to others during his school days. You didn’t know what to say. The only response you were able to muster up was scooting closer to him, head on his shoulder, his arms wrapping instinctively around you.
“Thanks…” you muttered into his chest. Deku couldn’t help but sigh and pat your hair, his chin resting on top of your head.
“You don’t need to be so hard on yourself.” He whispered back. He was right. God, was he right. You’ve been so hard on yourself, being so negative, swallowed by your emotions. Having a friend here was definitely a blessing in disguise. After being convinced that you deserve everything that came to you, maybe listening to Deku wasn’t such a bad idea now. And now you think, having a friend by your side wasn’t so bad after all.
-
Getting back on track was not a walk in the park. You couldn’t just magically get back into your routine with a snap of a finger. There were still days when you didn’t want to get up from your bed. There were days where all you wanted to do was cry. Thankfully, there was a gentle giant there to cradle you in his arms, brushing his hands through your hair while silent tears streak down your cheek. He would let you fall in and out of sleep in his arms. It didn’t matter if his arm would fall asleep. That static feeling he would feel when you finally got off of him? Didn’t stop him from doing it over and over again. And he didn’t dare move his arm when you were sleeping so soundly in his arms.
Izuku Midoriya never got upset when it came to you. He was there to support you, and that’s what he was going to do. He made sure you took care of yourself, that you were eating properly and at least taking care of your hygiene. There was only one instance where he did let his emotions overcome him.
He thought you were making such good progress. You were eating more. You didn’t need to be told to do things around this house. You were out of your bed more often. He thought you were starting to forget about the tragic heartache. So why did he come home to find you frantically packing clothes in a bag.
“(y/n)?” he gently called out, almost carefully. He gently slid off his shoes and approached you but you were too fast and too frantic to pay him any mind.
“Woah, (y/n), what are you doing? Where are you going?” Deku finally stepped in your way. You snapped out of your trance and looked at him with widened, tearful eyes.
“I made a mistake.” You admitted.
“A mistake? What are you talking about?” Deku tried searching your face for any clues about what ‘mistake’ you were addressing and why it had you so panicked. He didn’t expect the next thing to come out of your mouth to cause his heart to drop to his stomach.
“I want him back.” Him? There could only be one person you were talking about.
“…What?” Deku fully stopped in his tracks and his mind went completely blank. His pause allowed you to continue with your packing. You just filled your bag with whatever clothes you could grab, not minding what ended up in there. As long as you had the essentials and the bag was filled, you were ready to go to the airport and fly on the next plane back.
You zipped your clothes-filled bag and tried to bolt out the door, but your sudden quickness helped Deku come out of his trance. He grabbed you by the arm and spun you around.
“Now wait a second, (y/n). Let’s think about this,” he wanted to convince you not to go back to him. He needed to convince you. He didn’t know what happened for you to all of a sudden come to this conclusion, but you weren’t in your right mind.
“Please…” you begged. “I have to go back to him. I want to start over.”
“Start over? But you’ve been doing so well. You were starting to get back to normal!” he had thought.
“Normal?” you grabbed a fist full of your shirt where your aching heart lay. “I feel like I’m breaking apart, Izuku. Ever since that day, I felt this constant emptiness inside of me. Like something’s always missing. I can’t keep living like this. I need him to make me feel whole again. I can’t keep falling apart like this!” you sobbed.
“What about me?” Deku raised his voice. Your sobs halted at his unexpected reaction. “You think I’ve just been here by your side every single day, watching you break because I don’t care? You have this emptiness inside you, well I’m here. I’ve been trying to be that one constant when everything around you is falling apart.” His words panged at your heart. However true that might be, you still couldn’t give up on him. You shook your head and tried to make your way past time towards the door.
“I know. But I can’t give up on him.” Your shoulder pushed past him. But Deku had had enough. He grabbed your arm, gently but firmly, and spun you back around to face him.
“Let’s not forget who gave up on who. He left you for another woman. Why would you want him back after he treated you like trash? You deserve so much more than someone who doesn’t value you.” Deku’s heart pounded with each second that passed. Has he ever been so harsh with his words with you? Never. But he felt like he needed to in order for you to accept reality. And the truth of the matter is, Bakugou didn’t choose you.
“But I don’t know how to let go,” your voice trembled, finally giving up. Deku’s matched trembling voice got as equally quiet.
“Then let me help you. Let me show you that you can live without him. You are strong. You don’t have to go through this alone.” He reminded you. Slowly, you dropped the bag on the floor and surrendered to him.
“I don’t know if I can…”
“You can. And you will. I’ll be here every step of the way. Just… stay.”
-
You had to try. No matter how hard it was or how much you really didn’t want to or have the strength to, you had to try to get over him. You admit, you can’t act like this forever. Especially since Izuku is trying so hard to help you. The least you could do was try for his sake.
Another weekend you spent wasting away in bed while Deku was typing away on his computer on the desk next to you. Was he playing a game? Was he playing games? Or searching the web? Unclear, but he was busy focusing on that screen. Speaking of screens. You grabbed your phone and finally started to scroll through videos you had missed out. The audio of the videos played out loud and even though Deku couldn’t exactly make out what you were watching, he felt a bit relief that you weren’t aimlessly looking at the ceiling anymore. And instead, looked aimlessly at your phone. Nothing much you had to catch up: some political drama, world news, comedy sketches, fashion advice and… relationship advice. Yuck. You weren’t in the mood for ‘relationship’ advice. Every time one of those videos came on, you hit the ‘not interested’ button.
Ah, this is what you were looking for. Cute videos of animals… and babies… better yet, baby animals! Your favorite creators also posted a lot while you were away, so of course you had to watch those too. By the time you knew it, hours were passing by. But neither one of you would say a word to each other. Both of you were doing your own thing while just basking in each other’s presence. Izuku would sneak a peek at you from time to time, just to see how you were going. Completely absorbed. At least you were distracted and not full in sorrow. That’s progress if he’s ever seen it.
One video in particular was the turning point. You came across one of your favorite content creators and they were imitating Judge Judy so perfectly that you didn’t know a smile had crept on your face. By the end of the video, a small giggle had escaped your lips.
Ba-dump.
A cliché. But his heart beat so loud that it rung in his ears. Deku immediately stopped what he was doing and spun his head towards you with wide eyes. There it was. That smile. Something he hasn’t seen in a hot second. He didn’t think he would see it so early, but he wasn’t complaining. You were so immersed in your phone and you didn’t realize that Deku has shut his laptop closed. You only noticed him when you felt a dip in the bed and Deku was suddenly laying down next to you.
“What’s so funny? Can I watch?” Deku giddily asked. A smile was wide across his face and eyes were bright with amusement. He needed to see what video finally got a smile and laugh out of you. You gladly obliged, scooting over to make more room for him. As Deku got more comfortable on the bed, you decided that you also needed to get in a position where you both could see the screen. Once Deku got situated, you moved his arm over and placed your head on his chest, holding up the phone in front of you both. Deku was flustered to say the least. His hands stayed frozen in the air from when you moved them.
“Really?” you were confused by his actions. “We’ve been cuddling for how long? You should be used to this by now.”
“Yeah, but those times were different…” Deku tried to make an excuse. You frown, a little disappointed by his reaction.
“Oh, well then,” you say, starting to get off him. If he felt uncomfortable, then that’s the last thing you wanted to do. You thought you guys were close enough to be doing these kinds of things without any judgement. You didn’t even know you were crossing any lines. Looks like you were wrong. So you’ll gladly set boundaries if you had to.
But that’s not what Deku was feeling at all. He sensed the change in atmosphere and panicked. You were getting up too fast. He needed to fix the situation. He wrapped his strong arms around you and pulled you back into his chest, firmly resting his arms around your waist with no intention of moving it.
“Change of heart, huh,” you mumbled because it was so hard to talk when your face was squished in between the mounds of his pecs. Blush crept to his cheeks and sweat began to run down his back. Yeah, well… something was up with his heart.
“Just show me the video,” he couldn’t find an excuse so he had to bring it back to why he was originally there in the first place. Thank god you couldn’t hear how fast and how hard his heart was beating under his chest.
That was truly only the start of you getting back to your normal daily routine. You found yourself smiling a little more, laughing a little more. You started getting out of the house more often, going on walks with Deku, going grocery shopping with Deku, cooking with Deku, freshening up your apartment with Deku. Even without the help of your friend, you were able to be by yourself. You wouldn’t be able to be more independent if it weren’t for your trusty headphones. You had to listen to music, a podcast, something or else dark thoughts will start enveloping and you didn’t want to go back in that hole again.
Each day you started to feel a bit better. With music blasting through your headphones, you danced around the apartment doing your chores, while you were cooking, cleaning, going grocery shopping, clothes shopping. Anything you could think of, you were doing it with your music. You were your own concert. To many, it may seem like such a small feat, but this was the one thing that was truly making you feel like you again.
So there you were, happily dancing in your kitchen, creating some deliciously smelling cookies. The smell and taste of a fresh, homemade chocolate chip cookie can truly melt all your troubles away. Maybe you should have done it sooner. You were mixing the ingredients together in a bowl, letting your hips sway to the music that was playing via speaker. Because sometimes you have to let your ears take a rest from having earphones in all day. The music was so loud and you were so into your baking, that you didn’t hear Deku come through the front door. The moment he laid eyes on you, he swore that he was swooning for you all over again like it was the first time.
This was the (y/n) he knew. The fun, care-free woman that captures the attention of every person in the room. Look at you dancing, like no one was watching. You did think no one was watching. He could appreciate your looks and your dancing all day, but he wanted in on the fun as well.
“Oh, this is my jam!” he exclaimed loudly. A small squeal escaped your lips as you spun around, hands covering your mouth and heart beating out of your chest. Your squeal turned into a fit of laughter and also embarrassment when Deku suddenly began to create his own dance moves. Hands all over the place, feet uncoordinated, hips not even swaying to the beat of the song, he looked down right silly. But you couldn’t stop smiling nonetheless.
“Stop! You’re so embarrassing!” you laughed, trying to cover your eyes but peeked through a few fingers to see him still doing the same thing. Only, he was getting closer and closer to you.
“How can I stop when you’re playing my favorite song?” he shimmied his way over to you. What made it worse was that he was trying to sing along with the lyrics. But Deku was never good at memorizing lyrics, so he was always a beat too late when it came to the words.
“Fine, I’ll change the song,” you couldn’t bare the sight any longer. You grabbed your phone with full intent on changing the song but Izuku was faster. He almost grabbed your phone out of your hands but you moved your body in a way where it blocked him, outreaching your hand even more to get the phone away from him.
“It’s my phone!” you playfully yelled.
“And it’s my song!” he argued back. Deku being the big, oversized hero that he was, you were already no match for him. He easily grabbed your phone and replayed the song from the start. He muttered a small ‘yes’ as his form of victory.
“That’s not fair!” you began to argue. How could it have been fair when the size comparison between you two were just out of this world? You went to face him but stumbled your words when you realized how close Deku was. You were pressed against the counter, his body flushed against yours, his broad chest right in your face. He was so close that the smell on his cologne caught on his shirt wafted through your nose. And come to think of it, has he always been his muscular before? You guess you never noticed how toned and in shape your green-haired friend was.
“Totally fair! I was killing it with my super stylish moves and you cut it off!” he joked back, but you weren’t quite responding. Weird, you’d have a little banter by now. He looked down to see your face flushed with embarrassment and that’s when he realized how close he was to you. Was it his turn to get embarrassed now? He removed himself off you and cleared this throat.
“It smells good! Cookies?” he changed the subject.
“Oh! Uh, yeah! I made a small batch earlier to test it out, wanna try?” you hurriedly said. You picked up a small cookie and shoved it down Deku’s throat without so much as a warning.
“Mmm,” he hummed in satisfaction. “Now that’s a good cookie.”
That was such a Deku thing to do: always praise you, no matter how big or how small. How could one person have so much positivity, so much happiness? After all the negative energy you put out and put him through, none of it rubbed off on him. Surely, he has his down days too.
“You’re so good to me,” you suddenly turned serious.
“Because you’re a good person.” Izuku brushed some hair out of your face and gently cupped your cheeks. “Look at you. You are doing so well.”
“Because of you.” You admit.
“No. You did that all by yourself.” Deku corrected.
“You did help.”
“I did help,” Deku admit a little bit, “but it was truly all you. You had the strength to pull yourself back together. And you are so cool and strong for that.” You admit, you couldn’t have gotten so far and where you are today if it wasn’t for Izuku by your side. Sure, you did most of the heavy lifting and you had to do all this yourself, but Izuku was your rock through it all. He was the backbone of every step of the way.
“Thank you. And I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? For what?” his voice got incredibly soft.
“Everything. How I worried you, and yelled at you and said mean things to you even though all you were doing was trying to cheer me up. How I treated you. And for how I treated myself.”
“Hey, nobody’s perfect, right? All we can do is aim to be a better person for ourselves, no one else. You’re doing just that.” He ruffled the side of your hair.
“You forgive me right?” you broke away from his grasp and embraced him in a hug. Deku chuckled and hugged you right back.
“Of course I forgive you, silly.”
“Thanks… now can you help me make the rest of these cookies?”
And ever since that moment, the moment where you decided to forgive yourself is the moment where you finally accepted that the relationship is over. And that you can’t do anything about it. Not in a pitiful way, but more of a way that it couldn’t be helped. The only way forward is to accept the fact that it happened and move on. Not to dwell in the past. There was nothing more you could have done. Well, you could have not acted the way that you acted, but it was a learning process in the making. It’s time to learn from your mistakes and try to not let it happen again. Or at least, try to manage it better.
Soon were the days where there were no more tears. You didn’t need constant music to drown out your thoughts. The heavy weight on your chest vanished in thin air. Your smile finally returned. One that would come naturally and never forced. You found yourself making more friends and going out to more events. Your eyes turn into crescents every time you laugh. You laugh as if there’s not a care in the world. And every time Deku got a glimpse of that gorgeous, addictive laugh, it was music to his ears. He couldn’t name a better sight to behold.
Now it was no secret that Izuku Midoriya was head over heels for you. How could he not? You guys were inseparable; always going to events together, going out to eat, going to the movies. You guys were each other’s ‘dates’ when the occasion arose. Hell, you were basically roommates because he would never go home. One might argue that you were together, just no labels. But you, on the other hand, were completely oblivious to Deku’s feelings and everyone’s feelings towards the two of you. You saw nothing wrong with how you two were acting. Yes, you were close. Yes, you cuddled here and there. Yes, he was your rock. Yes, he was very attentive and caring and charming and funny and goofy and strong and cute…
But you’ve always acted like this towards each other! Ever since the beginning so what makes it different now?
“It’s because he ~loves~ you,” your friend teased in a sing-song like way. She had come over to help you figure out what this whole situation is. Her response just made you roll your eyes at her unbelievably ridiculous claim.
“I don’t know how you guys could say that!”
“I don’t know how you CAN’T see it!” she retaliated.
“What’s there to see? This is normal behavior! Just because you aren’t as close with your guy friends doesn’t make our relationship any different.” You pointed out.
“(y/n)… he treats you like a queen. You know, every time we go to the bar, he stares down every guy who looks your way. He’s always behind you so you don’t get pushed. He holds your drink for you whenever we go to the bathroom. He buys your drinks! Tell me when the last time you bought your own drink at the club? He is so head over heels for you!” your friend kept pushing examples in your face, but… that was normal right? Don’t all male friends act protective over their female friends at clubs? You had thought that was normal behavior. Because why would anyone want to see their friend being pushed and uncomfortable at the club when all you’re trying to do is have fun?
“He’s not…” you kept denying.
“You know what? This is lowkey making me mad. He is. You just have to accept it. You don’t have to do anything! But just acknowledge that he likes you.”
“He’s just a good person! He’s kind to everyone!”
“He is. But does he drop everything: his career, his family, his friends, to be by everyone’s side? Does he stay with us until the crack of dawn when we’re crying over our ex? Does he smile at us the way he smiles at you? With all the love and care in the world as if you were a precious artifact? NO! There’s a difference between being nice and… that.”
“Okay. You say he likes me. Have you heard it come from his lips?” you challenged. If Izuku hasn’t personally said it, then there was no need to make assumptions.
“Well, no…” your friend couldn’t defend herself there. See? Why should you believe anything if Izuku didn’t say it himself.
“Then what if you’re wrong? What happens if I believe that he likes me, I make a move and confess, and it turns out, he never liked me at all?” a slight pause.
“Oh so you like him?” your friend raised a curious yet playful brow.
“Well I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with him… but…” god, you can’t believe you were gonna say this.
“But…?”
“I’m just afraid.” You confess.
“Of what?”
“Just what if he doesn’t feel the same? Or worse – he does, but I’m just rebounding? He doesn’t deserve that, no matter how I feel.” No matter how you think about it, it just didn’t seem right to be with Deku. Him and your ex were friends. Doesn’t seem right that your next relationship is with your ex’s friend. Moreover, to everyone else, it’s going to look like a rebound relationship. Deku was with you through everything, but that doesn’t mean your feelings for Bakugou are totally over with. You could be getting together with Deku just to get over your feelings for Bakugou. And that wouldn’t be very honest of you. Even if it wasn’t true, that’s how the relationship would look like to outsiders perspectives.
“Oof, that is a tough one… But let me ask you this: are you happy when you’re around him?” she asked you.
“Immensely. He makes me laugh. He makes me feel safe, like I can finally be myself and breathe again.” You tried to stop the smile that was forming on your lips, but every time you thought about him or how he makes you feel, you couldn’t stop smiling.
“Then I think it’s time that you talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel. Be really honest about everything on your mind and in your heart. If he’s the right person for you, then he’ll understand. And you’ll be able to work things out.”
Easier said than done.
When the situation finally presented itself, your nerves were off the charts.
“Izuku… Can I… ask you something?” you ask nervously. The green-haired hero was sitting on the bed next to you, was tightening the screws of his glasses. He was being so nonchalant, completely oblivious to the fact that you couldn’t stop fidgeting with your fingers. Were you really going to ask? Was this the best time? The best place?
“Of course, what’s on your mind?” he asked, not looking up from his handywork.
“I overheard something but I didn’t know if it was true and I wanted to ask you just to make sure…”
“Oh, gossiping were we? With who?” now he sounded a little bit more interested.
“One of the girls.” You were being so vague.
“Yeah? And what did she say?”
“That you liked me.” Silence. The hand that was busy with the screwdriver had suddenly froze in thin air and he refused to look at you. Fuck, you knew this wasn’t a good idea. The air between the two of you became thick, like you couldn’t swallow. Cold sweat began to run down your back and you wanted to run and hide and forget that this conversation had ever happened. But then.
“Of course I like you.” Either he was avoiding the conversation or he wasn’t getting what you were trying to hint at. Sure, you knew he liked you as a friend. But that really wasn’t the question you were asking. You had to pry to get a real answer.
“Well yeah, but like, do you like like me? More than a friend? Because everyone is convinced that you like like me and that I’m the only one who doesn’t see it.” Deku smirked, a small laugh escaped his lips as he continued to tighten his glasses.
“I thought I was hiding it better than that. But yes, I do like like you. I’ve liked you for a long time.” He confessed. Oh. He actually… no way. Is this real? Was he lying? Is this a joke? Does he really like you? So all your friends could see it. How long did they know? And why would he like you? He saw how much of a mess you were, how hung up you were about your ex. Why would he fall for you? And what did he mean when he said he liked you for a long time? What does that mean? Since when? There were so many questions yet you couldn’t ask a single one. You were just in shock. But you hadn’t realized you’d been quiet for a long time. And then Deku started to become nervous.
“Does knowing that make you uncomfortable?” he asked.
“No!” you exclaimed, a little too loudly, putting your arms up in defense. Deku subtly blew out a sigh of relief. “But, where do we go from here?”
“We don’t have to do anything. Just because I like you doesn’t mean the relationship that we have now has to change. Unless, you want it to change? How do you feel knowing that I like you?” Deku was looking at you a little hopeful. How did you feel? You could only tell him honestly from your heart.
“I like it.” You say and you stared straight into his eyes, never breaking eye contact. No matter how heated your cheeks got, you wanted him to know that you meant what you said.
“You like it?” he questioned as if he couldn’t believe it. Deku nodded his head in understanding, looking away from you. He smiled to himself then looks back at you, head tilted with the most flirtatious eyes. “Then you like me, too?” God, how could he look at you like that?
“Yeah…” you said shyly, having to look away from his intense gaze.
“Then what do you want to do?” he asks, gently taking your hand in his.
“I don’t know. Because I don’t want you to think I’m using you as a rebound or that I’m rushing into something because I’m lonely.” You felt too guilty. You couldn’t look him in the face anymore, ashamed that he was thinking exactly what you were afraid of. So you looked down at your fingers intertwined, playing with the tips of his fingers.
“Well I don’t think that, first of all,” he interjected.
“If we were to date, I want my feelings for you to be real. And genuine. And so, I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t know if I’m ready right now but I’d like to try.”
“(y/n), I don’t want you rushing into anything if you’re not 100%.” Deku reaches over with his other hand and tucks the side of your hair behind your ear. “And if that means I’ll have to wait, then I’ll wait for you for another 100 years until you’re ready. If you need time to sort out your feelings, I’ll wait. If you find that you don’t want to be in a relationship, that’s fine with me. All I want is your happiness, with or without me. No pressure, no expectations. Just when you’re ready, you let me know.” And with that ladies and gentlemen, you couldn’t ask for a better response.
“You’re such a good guy.” You say with such fondness in your voice.
“Thank my mom.” He cracked a joke. Oh, he still has room for jokes. He turned the serious, almost awkward atmosphere into something light and playful, which you were grateful for. He knew exactly when and how to make you feel better. But you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him, bumping his shoulder playfully as you laughed it off. Deku laughed with you. But while you looked away to laugh, he never took his eyes off you, soft and unwavering, as if you were the most captivating thing in the world.
-
You took a deep, shaky breath. The nerves were hitting your stomach once again and you felt sick to the point where you wanted to throw up and pass out. You can’t believe you were in this position again. You thought you would never come to one of these again. You thought you would never see these people again. But here you were, supporting your boyfriend on one of his biggest nights. Deku tried to persuade you to stay home. He had told you that knowing that you supported him behind the scenes was enough. Coming to these parties didn’t mean anything. He almost declined the invitation to this party to make you feel more comfortable but you couldn’t let him do that. This party was celebrating another year of him becoming the new symbol of peace, the number one hero. Sure, its been multiple years in a row for him, but nevertheless, there was still a party to commemorate his success. You were going to be the supporting girlfriend that you were, even if that means you’d have to run into him.
You know he’s inside. He didn’t go to many events but with important ones like these, he had to show his face. You didn’t know how to feel in this moment. Should you be nervous to show your face to this group of people again? Should you be ashamed to be arm in arm with your ex’s friend? Should you feel anxious to see the ex who threw you away to be with his ex again? Maybe it should be a mix of all of these. You just knew that your nerves were on edge and you just can’t seem to calm yourself down after going through every possible scenario in your head. Would there be a big commotion? Would a fight break out? Maybe nothing will happen. Maybe if he is there and you did see him, maybe he’ll act like he doesn’t even know you. Would that make you feel relieved? Would that hurt your feelings? Would-
Deku leaned in so that his face was right in front of yours. The proximity of his face snapped you out of your thoughts. You hadn’t realized that you were being so quiet next to him. And Deku knows that when you’re too quiet, you were overthinking.
He starts to lean in closer as if he was going to kiss you. So you closed your eyes, preparing for your boyfriend’s lips to meet yours. But it never came. Instead, he snickers.
“Waiting for something?” he teased. You rolled your eyes and lightly push him away.
“Not anymore,” you say with a pout. Deku couldn’t help but love this side of you. He3 knew you were disappointed and trust, he wanted to kiss you just as badly, but seeing your cute, pouty lips was a sight he couldn’t resist seeing.
“Come here,” Deku pulled you in before you could escape and placed a chaste kiss on your lips. The kiss was powerful and steady yet gentle and full of emotion. Like he wasn’t in a rush to go anymore and wanted to take his time showing you how he truly felt. You felt everything he was trying to convey within the kiss. Love, pride, affection, encouragement, reassurance. You were beginning to enjoy the kiss, but felt disappointment when he pulled away what felt like was too quick.
“We can leave whenever you want, m’kay?” he whispered, resting his forehead against yours.
“Okay. Promise?” you whisper back, comforted by any sort of touch of his.
“When have I ever broken my promise?” Deku cheekily said. “Now, (y/n) is what?”
“Are we really doing this?” you asked, embarrassed. You can’t believe he was making you do that here, of all places. But Izuku wasn’t listening or moving until you finished what he wanted you to say. He leaned his ear closer to you because he wanted to make sure he could hear all the important things coming out of your mouth.
“…strong…” you mumbled, embarrassed out of your mind. You hated this self-confidence bit as you don’t believe in the words you said. But Deku insisted that this exercise would help you see the true you.
“And?” he wanted you to continue. You blushed a deep red.
“And confident.”
“And?”
“And cool.”
“Aaaand?”
“Beautiful.”
“Damn right you are,” he confirmed before giving you a quick peck. “And don’t you ever forget it.”
Fortunately, Bakugou was nowhere in sight from the moment you had entered the venue. That gave you a little breather and one less thing to worry about. The obstacle you had to pass now were all the stares that you were getting. As you passed each guest, being hyper aware of your surroundings, you could not ignore the whispers being spread around the venue hall. Was it because you were with the number one hero or was it because you were with the number one hero?
The first hour went by okay. You still weren’t completely relaxed or comfortable with the crowd you were being introduced to. You timidly introduced yourself and tried to just listen in on the conversations being held while Deku was doing all the talking. From time to time, he would squeeze your hand to let you know that while it may look like all his attention was on the company present, he was still thinking about your well-being. You were so distracted by meeting to many people, that you hadn’t realized that Bakugou wasn’t on your mind and you didn’t even question why you hadn’t bumped into him at all. Maybe you were lucky and he wasn’t going to show up, you thought… what was until…
It was like the red sea was parting. You were by Deku’s side, immersed into a conversation that you really had no intention in partaking and just as you decided to glance around, that was when the sea of people split down the middle, revealing a familiar blonde that had your heart clenching and breath caught in your throat.
Bakugou didn’t know what made him turn to the side. Intuition? Fate? Destiny? Love? When he saw you, he almost didn’t recognize that it was you. Because there was no way that you were just going to appear in front of him again after all these years. But it was you. There you were. Staring right back at him with wide eyes. There were times when he thought he had saw you randomly in the street, only for it to be a stranger. There was never a physical reaction. But this time, the pang of his heart was so heavy that there was no doubt in his mind that this was really you. When his mind fully registered that the love that got away was staring at him, he instantly put his glass on wine down and made his way towards you.
No. No. No.
There was no way he was walking to you right now.
In a panicked state, you had gripped onto Deku’s arm tightly and took a step back. The sudden action caught Deku’s attention instantly. He looked down at where your arms were gripping his dress shirt and then glanced to see your frightened expression. You were staring a something – or somebody – so he followed your gaze to what you so appalled by. When he saw Bakugou powerfully walk in their direction, Deku’s protective mood quickly switched on and he hid you behind him.
“Don’t do this right now,” Deku whispered yelled, walking up to Bakugou with an equally powerful stride to meet him halfway, blocking Bakugou’s path to you. He didn’t want to make a big scene but that might be easier said than done.
“Just let me talk to her,” Bakugou said desperate yet through gritted teeth. He was overcome with emotion, he doesn’t even know which one to show or feel. Anger. Desperation. Longing. He was feeling it all at once.
“You need to calm down first,” Deku warned, stopped Bakugou with a hand to his chest.
“I am calm,” he claimed with clenched teeth, the quite opposite of calm.
“If your goal is to start a scene, then be my guest. But you’re gonna have a hell of a hard time getting past me first. So I suggest you walk away right now,” Deku threatened, turning Bakugou’s energy back on him, his tone firm and final. Bakugou quickly scanned the room and even though the two of them were trying to be as discreet as possible, there were a few eyes and whispers aimed at them already. It didn’t help that those two were the two main characters of the night for the special awards. To cause a fight right here right now would not look good in the press tomorrow. There was going to be another opportunity, he convinced himself. He was going to make sure of it. So he backed down. He grit his teeth in compliance and took a few steps back. He then took another glance at you before retreating back into the sea of guests.
You had been on edge for the rest of the night. You were a fool to think that you weren’t going to run into your ex. It was only a matter of time before you two met again, but for some reason, you weren’t expecting that kind of encounter. Hell, what kind of reaction were you even expecting? You thought he would blow you off, act as if he never knew you. That would have been a blow to your ego but would have probably been the best case scenario. But the fact that he was trying to come up to you? For what reason? He didn’t look like he was going for a friendly greeting either. But for the rest of the night, you were paranoid that he was constantly watching you. You couldn’t help the feeling of a constant pair of eyes on you and that he was always close by. But when you turn your head to take in your surroundings, he was never there. You were all in your head which prevented you from being good company to Deku. Deku wasn’t oblivious to your behavior either. He was probably equally on edge as you, but just could hide it a bit better than you. After all, there were so many cameras and people watching him.
“Need a break? Or should we just go home now?” Deku leaned in to whisper into your ear. He could see how anxious Bakugou’s presence made you. If you weren’t going to speak up, he wanted to give you a chance to choose.
“We can’t go home. You haven’t gotten your award yet,” you argued. As if the hero cared about some dumb award he wins every year.
“You know that doesn’t matter to me. We can leave right now if you want.”
“Can we leave right after you get your award then?” you compromised.
“Deal.” Deku promised.
“I think I need to take a breather though. I’m gonna go to the restroom,” you inform him. Yeah, a breather is what you need, to calm your mind.
“Let me come with you,” he insisted, already putting a protective hand on your back to guide you to the restroom. But you put a hand up to stop him.
“I can go by myself. Wait for me here?”
“I’ll be right here. Call me if you need anything,” and with that, he sends you away with a quick peck on the cheek.
God, why was it so hard to find the restroom? The place was too huge not to have signs pointing where the ladies room was. You were sure there were some closer, but you got so lost that you ended up in the restroom farthest from the event hall. No problem. This was probably better anyway. The farther you were, the less people, which means you could finally relax and clear your mind.
You stood over the sink as you allowed the water to run its course. The sound of running water helped you organize your thoughts a bit better. So, Bakugou, your ex who chose another woman over you, is here. From what you saw, Uraraka was not by his side. But maybe you just didn’t see her. He saw you and wanted to come up to you. Had your boyfriend not stopped him, what would he have said to you? What would you have said to him? Would you react the same way regardless if he was angry at you or if he just wanted to say hi? You need to come up with a plan in case he really does try to approach you again. All you have to say is that you’re happy now and that you’ve moved on. Perfect. There’s no need for further explanation. You’re sure Bakugou doesn’t care about the details nor will he ask about how you were after the breakup anyway. Okay. You got this. You turned the faucet off, gathered your belongings and prepared yourself to go back out there and face your fears. But when you went to open the bathroom door, it was already opening itself so you made room for the next person to come in. Only, that person blocked you in and wouldn’t let you past.
“Excus- Bakugou?” you exclaimed with widened eyes. Words cannot describe how in shock you were to see your ex walk through that door. Not only was he physically in the way so you couldn’t leave, he locked the bathroom door to really make sure you were both stuck in there.
“(y/n),” he called out to you. But you were not having it.
“You cannot be serious right now,” you mumbled to yourself but loud enough for him to hear it. You grabbed your phone and dialed Deku’s number but Bakugou was quick to grab it from you.
“(y/n), we need to talk,” he insisted. How dare he barge in here and demand things from you.
“I have nothing to say to you.” You stood your ground.
“You have nothing to say? So you’re not even gonna explain why you disappeared on me like that? You deleted every single thing, your number, our pictures together, every single memory of ours… erased. You didn’t even say goodbye and you have nothing to say?” you could tell he was getting angrier and angrier with every word by the way his breath was more rapid, his chest heaving up and down, and the fists on his sides were tightening around themselves.
“What do you want me to say?” you felt like you were going to explode. “How much it hurt to see the love of your life fall out of love with you in front of your very eyes? How it was easier to just disappear than to see you spend another second with her?”
“I never fell out of love with you.” He said with a fact of fact.
“Stop it. You gave up on us.” You had to remind him.
“I was trying to make it work.” He excused. You couldn’t help but scoff.
“How?! She was always in the picture. You never came home on time. You were always messaging her. You always met with her. You never paid attention to me. How were you possibly trying to make it work?!” now it was your turn to get angry. You couldn’t understand where he was coming from. Trying to make your relationship work? No matter how you saw it, no matter how many times you tried to put yourself in his shoes, his actions didn’t make any sense.
“I had to confirm!” he raised his voice. “I had to confirm my feelings for her were over with. I had to make sure. Yes, I was confused but the more I was with her, the more I realized that she was not the one I wanted. It was you. It was you this entire time. It’s still you. Do you know how much, how long I searched for you?” he suddenly dropped a bombshell that you weren’t expecting. Because what do you mean he looked for you?
“You did?” you questioned. Suddenly, your emotions of anger turned into disbelief and your heart began to race.
“Yes. That night… the night you left, I was going to tell you everything. When you gave me that letter to go to the rooftop, I was so happy. But when it wasn’t you there… God, (y/n), I never stopped looking for you.” His voice became soft, almost below a whisper. Had you heard these words a year ago, you might have accepted his words. You might have been so happy that you would jumped straight into his arms and take him back without a moment’s hesitation. And the pull of your heartstrings at his words now… were your emotions being swayed?
Meanwhile, Izuku was scanning every bathroom he could find. You were successful in calling him before Bakugou was able to grab it from you, so he heard your entire conversation together. Izuku was frantic and desperate, gripping the phone in his hand so tightly, any tighter it would shatter completely. His heart was pounding, his mind going a complete blank because… you can’t go back to him.
“Look, I know I messed up. But if you give me another chance, I can make it right again.” Bakugou steadily took your hand in his. The feeling of his calloused fingers in yours made you almost burst into tears. For a long time, all you wanted was to see him, to touch him, to smell him, to hear those words. Now that he was right here, literally in the palm of your hands, you could finally get what you wanted-
BANG BANG BANG!
“(y/n!)” you heard Izuku’s voice yelling out your name from the other side of the door. Your head whipped towards the direction of his voice, snapping you out of your trance.
“No…” you whisper.
“(y/n)?” Bakugou called, but Izuku’s knocks were getting louder and more powerful.
“(Y/N)!” Izuku called out to you once again. He knew you were in there. This bathroom was the only one with the door locked. Even if he couldn’t hear your voice or confirm that it was actually you in there, his gut instinct was telling him that you were. He wiggled the door handle uselessly. When that didn’t work, he tried to slam his body against the door to break it down but it was surprisingly sturdier than he had expected.
“Open the door!” Izuku demanded, not resting as he still continued to break down the door.
“(y/n), please. Give me one more chance,” Bakugou panicked.
“No!” you screamed, ripping your hands out of Bakugou’s grip. “It’s over, Bakugou. It’s been over since the moment you picked her.”
“But I didn’t pick her! I picked you!”
“Well you didn’t show it. I was so tired Bakugou. That entire time, I felt like your second-pick and that you were using me as a placeholder for her. You were always with her. How did you think that made me feel? After I poured my heart out to you, you said you needed time. Well I gave you more than enough time to figure out your feelings and the fact that you were always with her just confirmed to me how you were feeling.”
“Open this door NOW!” Deku screamed again. His shoulder pounded against the door, the door opening slightly but not enough to fully break in. He didn’t want to use his quirk over something like this, but if you guys were being stubborn then he’ll have no choice.
“But, I can make it right. If you give me one more chance, I can-” Bakugou went down to his knees.
“It’s too late.” You tell him.
“If you don’t open this door when I get to three, I’m breaking it down!” Izuku warned.
“Too late? But why does it have to be too late? Why can’t we – I don’t care about the past anymore. I don’t care about her. I don’t care if you’re with stupid Deku. Just tell me that there’s still a chance for us.”
“I’m sorry.”
“ONE!”
“So what now?”
“We have to move on.”
“Please don’t say that.”
“TWO!”
“Bakugou…”
“(y/n), I’m begging you. How can I move on when I’m still in love with you?”
“You can’t say that. It’s too late for that now.”
“THREE!”
The door to the bathroom bursts open, revealing a glowing green Izuku. In the end, he did what he had to do in order to get to you. Izuku was beyond furious. His eyes locked onto Bakugou, blazing and wild with fury. He looked at him with something so dark no one would dare approach him. His breath so ragged and uneven, like he was barely holding himself back and lunging towards the blonde hero.
“You son of a bitch!” Izuku screamed, grabbing Bakugou by the collar, raising his fists so high in the air, ready to give him a piece of his mind. But you grabbed onto Izuku, stopping him just in time before his fist made contact with Bakugou’s face.
“That’s enough,” you say, not having any more energy to fight. “I want to go home now.” Those were the magic words that prevented Izuku from doing anything else. He left out a deep sigh, and regretfully let his arm rest at his side.
“Come on,” Izuku says to you. You let him snake his arm around your waist, escorting you out of the venue and back to the car. But as you pass Bakugou, who was still on his knees, arms limp on his lap, eyes completely glossed over and tired, you momentarily pause to say something only for him to hear.
“Goodbye.” You mutter your last and final goodbye and finally, left with your boyfriend.
The silence after was deafening. Eyes brimmed with tears as the weight of your words settled over him like a crushing blow. He thought back to every memory you had together, every secret you told each other, every kiss you shared. The memories he cherished and thought so often over the years, turned into cold, heartbreaking memories. He let you slip away from him. He thought he finally had you in his gasp again and he was never going to let you go. But…
“Fuck,” he cursed. Lips were turned downwards in an ugly frown. He used his arm to wipe away the tears streaming down his face but it was useless. His tears couldn’t stop anyway.
“FUCK!” he screamed as loud as he could, hoping the burning of his throat could distract from the yearning pain he felt in his chest. But the pain was too much. Bakugou clenched his shirt where his heart was and leaned over, slammed his fists against the tiled floor. He slammed them over and over again, not caring if he was bleeding or not. He felt shattered and broken and alone. The realization was coming to him that this was going to be the last time he was ever going to see you again, not just as the one who got away, but as the one he lost forever.
-
The silence in the car was suffocating. Izuku had a death grip on the steering wheel while you just wanted to sink into the car seat and disappear. The suffocating silence lingered in the air, almost the entire ride back. Not even the beautiful city lights passing by could distract how thick the air was. But you needed to talk to him. At least say something, anything.
“He told me he still loves me.” You say as if those words didn’t stab Izuku right where it hurt. A momentary beat.
“How do you feel?”
“Confused.” You confess. Izuku gripped the wheel tighter.
“You weren’t supposed to say that.” Izuku’s voice cracked, speaking as if he was about to break down any second.
“I’m trying to be honest with you.” Honesty was the best policy, especially where you were in your relationship right now. But how come those words pierced Izuku’s heart so bad? He finally knows what it’s like to be in your shoes now. His partner has feelings for her ex and can’t seem to get him out of her mind. Is this the pain you were feeling the whole time? Feeling like you’ll never matter and never be first in their eyes? It was a crushing feeling. It made Izuku’s confidence about your relationship fly out the window.
“Aren’t you happy with me?” he asks, biting his lower lip so that the sound of his sobs won’t come out.
“Izuku…” you couldn’t believe that you were hearing. You’ve never seen Izuku act or sound this way. He usually always says what’s on his mind, but he was being completely vulnerable right now with you, not hiding his feelings at all. You grabbed his hand and squeezed with reassurance.
“Even if you feel confused right now, I can make you forget him.” He promised. “I can treat you well. I can make you happy.”
“I know you will.” You had no doubt in your mind that Izuku could fulfil all those promises.
“Then will you stay by my side?”
“Izuku, unlike Bakugou, I know what I want. And that’s to be by your side always.” You reassured him, bringing your clasped hands to your cheek so you nuzzle against his hand. Although Izuku still had some doubts, he trusted everything you said, which made his heart explode with relief. All the emotions he held back finally appeared in the form of fat tears running down his face. And after seeing the aftermath of your breakup with the same situation, he vowed that he was going to do everything in his power to not make the same mistakes.
A/N: WOW! She's finally finished. I hope this was worth the wait and got your closure. Sorry if you felt it was boring but again, this was more for me to vent out my feelings over my breakup as well. So... ya get what ya get I guess right? >< I tagged people who I thought were interested and commented about a part two in part one. Let me know your thoughts in the comments! You know I love reading everyone's opinions (good or bad) and I miss you guys!
Tagged: @gbcssskjb @zaptapbam @dwn-bad @superblyspeedydragon @power-house-fan12 @s-viore @forgetmenotlovee @strawberrie-bunbun
