@theartofmadeline
we're not kids anymore.
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@kirstencorley
There is no greater feeling than hearing the words ‘I’m sorry’ but at that point, you’ve become such a strong person you don’t even need the words.
They sit across the table saying everything you’ve ever wanted them to but you walk away saying I don’t need you anymore and it’s hard to believe a time when I thought I did.
“Maybe we are all one degree and one strange encounter away from healing. Maybe it isn’t something we don’t have to do alone, just maybe all it takes is one person to teach us the pain we feel right now and everything we’ve been holding onto for this long is what we can let go of.”
—
Kirsten Corley
The Ugly Honest Truth About The Guy Who Won’t Commit
Only lately I’ve begun to realize, you don’t have to love everything about yourself before someone else does. Sometimes it takes someone loving those bits of yourself you reject, sometimes it takes hearing someone say it’s okay to be like this. It’s only then you begin to accept yourself for all you are but more than you realize, you don’t have to be sorry.
Kirsten Corley
If you have forgotten what you deserve - let me remind you.
.
.
.
.
Because some of you need this gentle reminder.
“You hear his voice in your head telling you that you are the strongest most beautiful woman he knows, and you wonder if it’s true. You didn’t know that strength he spoke about would one day be needed to overcome him.”
—Kirsten Corley
““One day you’ll search for me in everyone you meet but I won’t be found.””
— Kirsten Corley
“I think in everyone’s life, we all have that one person. He is that one person wasn’t ours, but we wanted so badly for him to be. He was almost everything we could have dreamed of. Even to this day, when someone asks you the perfect person, you think back to the qualities he posed, realizing he was almost everything you needed, but the key word being almost. Somewhere along the way, you couldn’t handle living an almost lifestyle, because you needed something concrete. You couldn’t wait any longer for him to figure it out. The unanswered calls you suddenly realized were being unanswered by you. The 2 AM texts you didn’t even jump to answer anymore but slept through. For so long it felt like you were standing on a subway platform for a train that wasn’t even coming, and sadly would never come, because the tracks leading to you were broken, and not getting fixed. Conflicts between your heart and head appear like a boxing match. To walk away from someone who consumes so much of your heart, you can’t bear the thought of it. But, then in your head, you remind yourself, it is for the best you leave now. And you muster the courage to do so. That realization feels like a breakup, but it’s a breakup in a relationship in which he wasn’t even a part of. Then one day as you are figuring out your life, chasing the dreams you two used to talk about, and the dreams he used to encourage, you cross paths with a stranger. He asks if you are seeing anyone, and you look down at a phone that has been silent for longer than you’d like to admit. You would have liked to say yes, you would have liked to tell him you have the greatest boyfriend in the entire world, who consumes so many thoughts as you go to sleep at night. But you don’t and you can’t and you realize, all those things he ever said, were just a compilation of words that sounded nice. The hardest part about this isn’t accepting the drink a stranger buys you or getting to know a new person and fall for them. The hardest part comes with acceptance of how much time you wasted with someone who never actually saw a future with you. In that time you found out each other’s secrets. You viewed the skeletons in each other’s closets with a smile holding them as they shed tears. You grew to know their story as well as become a part of it, but the part you played in one another’s story was only temporary. Even if it was temporary, there is no denying you fell in love with everything they were, even if part of that was a toxic relationship full of false promises and a life full of almost things that never came to be. You wonder if anyone could know you the way he did. You wonder when something really bad happens and you don’t reach for your cell phone to text him, as he was one of the few to really understand, can you handle that alone? You hear his voice in your head telling you that you are the strongest most beautiful woman he knows, and you wonder if it’s true. You didn’t know that strength he spoke about would one day be needed to overcome him. He has been around for so long, he has been on every page of your book and you wonder what the story could even be without him a part of it. Even if someone new came into the picture how would they understand your past, if they weren’t a part of it? Would they ever make you watch a scary movie, even though you hate them, just so they could hold you during the scary parts. Would they ever take you to your favorite place just to ask you to slow dance, singing your favorite song they spent days memorizing. Would you ever find another person who would watch your favorite movies, read your favorite books just to gain more of an understanding of you. Would you ever meet someone who would tell you, you are the most beautiful person in the entire world until you believed it. Would you one day meet someone who could be all those things that were perfect about the old guy, but more. He was almost flawless, but that key word being almost. Was it possible to meet someone who possessed all of his beautiful qualities, plus one? The one quality that wasn’t an almost something but was the person you needed. You come to this realization that’s all he ever was, something you wanted but couldn’t have. The reason you didn’t date, was because he didn’t want to date you. That’s a tough pill to swallow. Then one day after finally letting him go, you cross paths with someone who makes things so simple it catches you off guard a little. He is everything the other person used to be minus the toxic aspects of the relationship. There isn’t an almost moment, of what is this? There are only clear concise moments of it being everything you need. Then as you are lying there together, waiting for this new guy to wake up your phone goes off, and with three small letters H-E-Y, you are being tested again. You almost answer but don’t.”
— Kirstencorley.wordpress.com
I think when you miss someone it just proves that they did matter at one time or another.
(Source: thoughtcatalog.com)
I think when you miss someone it just proves that they did matter at one time or another.
(Source: thoughtcatalog.com)
The Ugly Honest Truth About The Guy Who Won’t Commit
““One day you’ll search for me in everyone you meet but I won’t be found.””
— Kirsten Corley
Sometimes the heartbreak we feel has nothing to do with us and everything to do with the person on the receiving end.
We tend to point immediate blame at ourselves.
What you have to realize someone’s inability to love you the way you deserve isn’t a reflection of you or the things you lack. It hurts but that pain you feel means you are taking the right chances. It means you did something really brave. More than anything I want you to believe in love. I want you to hold those words really close to your heart and only say them when you mean it. I want you to feel it in every inch of your body when you do. There is no wrong love. I don’t even think there are wrong people but rather people who aren’t ready to accept what you have to give. There is only you and your ability to try and love people even after you’ve been given every reason to close yourself off to the world. Try again. Love again. And believe that you will get it right really soon.
-Kirsten Corley
Home.
Home is the person who can look at you smiling and know you are completely bullshitting the world and they ask what is wrong. Home is the person who can see the pain in your eyes when you’ve fooled everyone around you. Home is the person who stands by you in moments of confusion, they aren’t there to answer questions or solve anything, they are simply there and don’t leave. Home is that connection you don’t understand but it’s evident something is there between you. Home is letting someone into your world, even when you’re afraid. You realize as different as you feel from everyone else around you, you’ve found someone who is the same. Someone who gets it. You trust them. You talk about dreams that might never happen but they look at you and believe in you and have confidence in you, enough that, you start believing in yourself too. They know about your insecurities and fears and the things that keep you up at night. But they compliment you in such a way, they make you better than you ever thought you could be.
They somehow always know what to say and when to say it and you wonder how does someone know you when you haven’t even figured it out yourself yet? Home is that person whose touch heals you. They teach you it’s okay to love again and this time it won’t hurt. Home is the person whose happiness makes up yours. The person whose problems you find yourself taking on, trying to find a solution. Home is that person who teaches you not to be selfish anymore because suddenly, someone else’s well-being is more important than your own.
Home is the person you’d do anything for because if anything were to happen to them, a large piece of your own heart would break.
When you find this and try to describe what your definition of home is you’ll struggle in articulating it. What you’ll find is a simple name. But I hope you find someone who defines what home means to you. And I hope when you find that person, you never have to know what it’s like to live without them.
With one conversation my world came crashing down and all I could do was stare blankly wondering how we even got here. Drowning in my own tears begging you to stay, as I whispered ‘I do love you.’ And you said ‘I know you do.’
Kirsten Corley
It’s the table you’re not sitting at as I stare at an empty chair.
Kirsten Corley
