And now I'll do what's best for me...

Amy. Thirty

[kittensanddarkclouds]

So I barely come on here anymore, except to read 2 specific blogs...

But I downloaded the app on my phone again so thought why not actually post!

Hi....

[countingstars-17]

what driving for ferrari does to a man

[typelikeagirl]

[disc90s]

[iridhesence]

[sad--gal]

Please & thank you

[pretendings]

“The warrior rolled his black eyes. “Come on, man. What does it matter to me? You, Thor, Britney Spears.” Wrath laughed. “Was that a joke, Z? After all this time, have you finally found your sense of humor? Hell, you’re giving me another reason to live.””

— Dark Lover by J. R. Ward

[under-the-knife]

Caramel // Sleep Token

[aquareegia]

"I will never get bored of playing this guitar" 🥺❤️

[kittensanddarkclouds]

The fact that I text that one person "Can I ask a favour" and instantly they know exactly what I need...

Proceed to send me a 36 second voice note pulling me from my panic attack and making me laugh... honestly I don't know what I'd do without them.

[staytrueblue]

[kittensanddarkclouds]

It occurred to me today just how much what has happened in the last 6 months has killed my ability to trust new people.

New friend 1 - absolute narcissist, I went through absolute hell and they ruined what was supposed to be some of the nicest times. (Christmas, my birthday and my engagement all in that order)

New friend 2 - treated hubby like crap this past month, basically vanished on me and then has just ended the friendship today and left. Hubby even helped him out with money and travel and got nothing in return, barely even just a thank you. (There's more to this one but for the sake of sleep, I won't be going into it)

New friend 3 - now I've only just met them properly today, now I'm never comfortable meeting a new friend but they are staying over tonight - I'm not happy about this but it is what it is - now after ranting to us that they need to find a new place to stay cos their landlord is kicking them out they go "well you might get stuck with me for a couple of days" NOPE! Not doing this again, you've now just given me a reason not to trust that you aren't going to take advantage of the kindness we give. Baring in mind we only said "hey you can stay on the sofa cos it's midnight and don't want to drive right now" and I hope they aren't expecting to stay longer.

[countingstars-17]

Max: “fuck me this is boring, should have brought my pillow”

[alexturntable]

charles_leclerc Welcome home baby Leo 🤍🤍🤍

[sharlleglerg]

[kittensanddarkclouds]

Maybe it wasn't seasonal depression... maybe it's just actual depression...

[kittensanddarkclouds]

"But the cafe is a safe space for everyone"

But it isn't though is it?

Too many undiagnosed, untreated mental health conditions in one room, add in a textbook narcissist who has self diagnosed DID (he doesn't actually have it - believe me everyone knows he doesnt actually have it and its just a hyperfixation on the condition) who has caused issues and bullies everyone he meets if he isn't the centre of attention, multiple people who won't stand up for themselves and are too worried about upsetting each other and it's gone to shit and I suddenly seem to be the one who has to give advice or fix shit.

Oh and add in another guy who brags about how many times he's been banned from the cafe and straight up grabbed another guy by the throat for giggles

I'm 28 years old. I just want peace. Leave me the fuck out of it.