This is actually a really good point.
Also, if you do choose to date someone with a mental illness, you need to be honest about your boundaries. Iāve dated more than one person who wanted to be my white knight and ārescueā me from my stuff. That doesnāt work for a relationship. It became them enabling me and me trying to push them into a very strict role of caretaker and panicking if this role changed. Now, some of that changing was me recognizing toxic patterns and deciding to continually work on self awareness and emotional maturity on my own - but itās equally important that the person Iām dating right now tells me when he canāt be the person I talk to about something. Because heās taking care of himself by saying āhey, thatās something for your therapistā, heās respecting the relationship by seeing me as a person with issues, instead of a damsel in distress that he can rescue to make himself feel good. I try to respect this by not pushing to keep talking about something if Iāve crossed into that territory. It can hurt to be told āno, thatās too muchā - but itās also really, really important. It wouldnāt be a romantic relationship if he was just another therapist. Thatās not what I want from him, and thatās not what he signed up for.
It can take work to date with mental illness, but, with mutual respect and healthy boundaries, it can be done.
And one last note: you have to take steps to take care of your mental health on your own, too. Whatever that means for you, whether it includes medication or not, if it means going to a support group, or cutting out alcohol - you have to do things to help yourself that are independent of your partner. And, even if you have a chronic mental illness, you still need to make sure youāre trying to manage things where you can. That doesnāt mean you have to do it alone, but it cannot be the soul responsibility of your partner. Respect their boundaries.
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