shark vs the universe
No title available
trying on a metaphor
No title available
izzy's playlists!
No title available
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Andulka
RMH
roma★
Janaina Medeiros
ojovivo
wallacepolsom
Mike Driver
Keni
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Jules of Nature
PR's Tumblrdome
$LAYYYTER
pixel skylines
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia
seen from Argentina
seen from Australia
seen from Singapore
@kitty3299
I’ll be here waiting for you. I want you to know that if you ever decide that you want me, I’m here. I’ve always been incredibly stubborn much to my own dismay. And it’s not going to be any different this time. So I will wait for you. Maybe you will come back, probably you won’t. But I’m not going to stop waiting for you.
I’m not giving up on us.
“Sometimes I build my walls so high that when I need someone they can’t get over. Sometimes I push people away because I’m scared they’ll break my already shattered heart. I am stubborn, moody, unpredictable and sometimes I get really sad. My on going battle with depression has put me in a hole that I've turned into my home. I’m a mess, I’m a handful, I’m not easy to talk to, I’m annoying, you’ll hate me sometimes. I’m an out of control fire, destroying everything that I touch and when you play with fire your expected to get burnt. I’m sorry for if I’ve ever burnt you, it’s not your fault and it isn’t because I don’t love you. I'm just a girl learning how to love herself while also struggling to handle the blaze of my emotions.”
— p.s.w // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #183
“You deserve someone who is willing to get in bed with you on a friday night and still be there saturday morning and every morning after that You deserve someone who won’t hang up on you someone who’ll call you back after an argument You deserve someone who won’t let you go to bed with tears in your eyes. and a broken heart. You deserve someone who will love you in the light of day Just as he does in the heat of night.Someone who touches your heart before he touches your body. Someone who’ll cuddle under a blanket with you in the most innocent form kisses on your forehead and the blanket pulled upto your chin You deserve honesty Someone who won’t lie to you just to protect himself someone who will protect you and cherish your heart and keep it safe. Someone who will love you on the days when you don’t love yourself. Someone Who is willing to walk through shards and glass of your broken heart and continue moving towards you, unafraid unfazed by the darkness of your past He looks at you and sees light. You deserve a love so fierce, so passionate. Brave and unafraid. Know your worth. Don’t settle for anything less.”
— the love you’re entitled to..wait for it. | (this-wastedlove)
“He will tell everyone you were crazy That you would call 100 times And text him 200 times more That you were over emotional And you were the toxic one But he won’t tell them about how He would emotionally abuse you Treat you the opposite way he treated his friends How he bailed on every plan he made How he deliberately said things to hurt you Would go silent for days for no reason Would ignore you for something you didn’t do Would push you away without reasoning No, he won’t tell people how he pushed every button And hurt you in ways no one should He will act the hero And you will look the fool But know he falls asleep at night, Knowing he messed up whilst you sleep soundly.”
— (ms, 2018)
Writing by Lauren Jarvis-Gibson
I didn't deserve to suffer at your hands just because you couldn't come to terms with who you are.
“I have been up for over 40 hours straight. God, I’m so tired, but everytime I try to close my eyes I’m reminded of all the things I’ve been running from. It’s not so bad, really. I just sometimes wish things were a bit simpler. For most of my life I thought I was a freezer. When faced with issues or uncomfortable situations I wouldn’t run, or fight, I’d just freeze. I would become an incomprehensible mess. But honestly I’m a runner. Maybe not in the most obvious or traditional of ways, but when I can’t physically run, I run emotionally. I isolate, I push away, I retreat so deeply into myself, sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be able to find my way back out. In a way it’s worse than freezing, because when you are frozen at least you’re still. When you’re running, there’s no break, there’s no pause button, it’s just you in this ongoing whirlwind, pulling you further and further away from who you used to be.”
— This is me // k.s (via irrevocablyunhappy)
“If I ever kill myself, i want you to be having a great day. I want someone to call you to inform you that your daughter committed suicide and i want those words to hit you like a brick on the best day you’ve had in months. I hope everything catches up to you. I hope you feel so guilty that you can’t look at yourself in the mirror. I hope that on that day you will realize the damage you have caused. You broke me, you shattered me into a million pieces and when i was weak and crying on the bathroom floor I apologized. But for saying this, i won’t apologize. I mean every single word, and now its your turn to apologize.”
— I hope the hurt you inflicted is reflected back to you, but not today (via ddistorted-reality)
“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”
— http://ifttt.com/missing_link?1465167765 (via mbaljeetsingh)
“I don’t think it’s “cute” when boys get possessive over me, and here’s why: When I was fourteen I watched two grown ass men fight with guns and knives over who would get to fuck me legally the day I turned 18. I walked away that night feeling flattered that they were fighting over me. I didn’t realize the seriousness of what I had just witnessed. I was too naive to believe that one of them would actually hurt me. He was seven years older than me when he took my virginity and continued to use me until I turned 15 and finally got up the nerve to say I was leaving. He got angry with me when I decided to leave. He got violent and told me I wasn’t allowed to see anyone until I turned 18 and he could have me again. To get back at me for leaving him he told my next ex boyfriend where I lived and how to find me at any time of the day. So for the next few weeks I received text messages from my ex asking me why I wasn’t responding when he could clearly see my car parked in my own driveway. He would come visit me at work and make sure I wasn’t flirting with anyone-even though him and I were done. When I was seventeen I fell in love with a man who thought I belonged to him. Before we were even dating, every time I’d remind him that he didn’t own me, he’d get angry and he would start threatening to leave. But I thought I loved him so I started staying silent. I let him hold on to me too tightly when we were in public together and got used to staying quiet any time another guy was around. He would get so angry when I didn’t want to have sex with him because he thought that he owned me and that I should do whatever he wanted. He started punching walls and banging his head into things when I said I didn’t want to have sex. He would get so violent and angry that I’d end up giving in to him and letting him have what he wanted. He had my mind so twisted that I thought this type of behavior was okay. He reminded me that he’d never actually laid a hand on me so everything he was doing was acceptable. He would yell at me if I tried to look pretty. He would tell me I wasn’t allowed to look that nice because my body was only for him to enjoy. He would yell at me for wearing crop tops even in the sweltering heat of august. He would threaten me while he watched me put on my makeup because he thought I was getting too dressed up for someone other than him. I missed out on countless opportunities to go to the movies or the beach or do anything with my friends because I wasn’t allowed to go without him. He thought I belonged to him and he wouldn’t let me leave without telling him exactly where I was going. He hated me when I wanted to spend time with my family and once when I went out to coffee with my best friend, I checked my phone towards the end and I had more missed calls and messages than minutes I’d spent with her. I went on a family vacation to the lake and he would get mad at me every single day because I would not allow him to drive the six hours to see me. He would get angry with me because I would not tell him the name of the lake because I was afraid he was actually going to drive all that way when I got too busy with my family to answer his messages. The time that I spent with my best friend got less and less when I was with him because he wanted to keep me all to himself. She couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t just leave him, but every time I tried he would threaten to take his own life or even mine. When I did finally break up with him, he spent nights crying on my doorstep and mornings sitting outside my bedroom window. He would show up at my work and wouldn’t let me do my job until I promised to call him when I was off. He ended up in the hospital because I finally refused to keep in contact with him. He was so hysterical over the fact that I said I didn’t belong to him that he slit his wrists. He threatened me and my friends and my family when he found out I’d moved on. So no, I don’t think it’s “cute” when boys get possessive over me. I’m careful about who I spend my time with now. Sure, a little jealousy comes normally but I won’t let a boy get possessive with me. As soon as he starts mentioning things that I’ve learned should make me uneasy I’m leaving his ass behind me.”
— Selena V Vargas (via theworldasheseesit)
“This isn’t a suicide attempt but if I get hit by a car, fall off a building, if I don’t wake up, I want you to know I am sorry I didn’t write individual letters. I’m sorry for all the trouble and drama I caused I’m sorry for hurting you. Please don’t blame yourself, But if I died tomorrow, I want you to know; I’m sorry”
— pt. 1
“When people talk about addiction, they tend to ask, “How bad did it get?” “What made you hit bottom?” For me, I didn’t bottom out when I was getting drunk and doing drugs. Right up until the time of my intervention, I was pretty sure I was still having a blast. I hit bottom when I’d been clean for a hundred days and finally saw what I’d become.”
— Steve-o Professional Idiot: A Memoir
“You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to just walk in and out of my life that. You don’t get to come walking back in like nothing happened and pretend everything is ok. Because it’s not. You promised to stick by me through thick and thin. But where the fuck were you when I was at my worst, Screaming, Crying, Where the fuck were you when I needed you the most?”
— @quoting-suicide
“Do you remember why you fell in love with me? You said I was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. You said you couldn’t let me get away, you just had to get to know me. Do you remember the way you felt the first time I looked into your eyes? You said you loved the way my eyes sparkled. Do you remember what it was like the first time I held your hand? You said you felt a tingly sensation travel through your entire body. Do you remember the first time I kissed you? You said you never wanted anyone else to kiss you again. Do you remember the first time I said ‘I love you?’ You said that you loved me from the moment you first saw me. Do you remember? Because I remember everything. I remember the first time I told you I was mentally ill. You told me it was nothing that we couldn’t get through… Do you remember the first time you saw me have a panic attack? You held me close and calmed me down. Do you remember the first time I asked you if you could hear the voices too? You looked at me strange and said you didn’t hear anything. Do you remember the first time I started detaching from you? You asked me why I was being so cold. Do you remember the first time I pushed you away when you tried to touch me? You were trying to understand what you did wrong. Do you remember the first time I made you cry? You asked me how I could be so heartless. Do you remember the first time you saw me sit and stare at the wall and you couldn’t get me to move? You were beginning to wonder if this was all a mistake… I know it’s not easy loving a person with mental illness. But, it’s not easy being a person with mental illness. Every time I detach from you, all I want to do is be in your arms. But I can’t. And I can’t really explain why. Every time I hurt you, it hurts me too. Just, please don’t give up on me. Whenever you feel like you can’t take anymore, please remember why you fell in love with me. Whenever I’m sitting and staring at the wall, unable to move, please remember the way you I first looked into your eyes. Whenever I push you away and tell you not to touch me, please remember the way you felt the first time I ever held your hand. Whenever I’m yelling nonsense and saying things I don’t really mean, please remember the first time I ever kissed you, and how amazing it made you feel. Whenever you’re trying to get me to talk, and it seems I’m unable to speak, please remember the sound of my voice the first time I ever said ‘I love you.’ Because I still love you. I’ve always loved you. And I will always love you.”
— Please remember me, even when it seems like I don’t remember you…
“I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.”
— Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun
“I know that I can live a different life. The drug addicted, crazy, sad, young woman is not who I want to play the leading role in my life. She is a part of me but she needs to take a step back and get the fuck out of my way.”
— journal entry about recovery 7-17-18
“There’s never going to be a love as honest, as pure, as unguarded and as reckless as your first love.”
—
- First Love
coffeeandsleeplessnights
